Author's Note:Thanks to the wonderful people who have commented, favourited, and followed this story – I appreciate it more than you will know. I'm starting to wonder if continuing here is the right thing or if I should relocate this story elsewhere – this FF site seems to have slowed down, but I will share this update with you all and see how it goes since school holidays have begun, and I can finally spare some of my cognitive space with this story.

Sidenote: Brooke does not have social media yet in this story. She has Spotify, which is a music streaming service 😊

As always, I hope you enjoy the latest instalment.

- Chrissy

~ My Favourite Game ~

x~X~x

Chapter Six: The Truth Revealed

"Oh. My. God."

Her words hit me like a runaway cement mixer on a downhill slope, breaks squealing in horrified protest and bright lights flashing to signal the danger that was to come. I could feel the punch of Haley's voice as it broke through the silence and I ripped my hands from Clay's grasp, racing to the door and side-stepping Haley's fallen books as I slammed the entrance shut with a loud, definitive thud!

"Dramatic much, Brookie?"

I could hear the slightly bemused yet exasperated sigh in my brother's voice behind me as I turned to Haley, choosing to ignore him in that moment. Now, I had to do damage control and every part of my insides were screaming with anxiety about what Haley had just seen, what Clay was going to say, and how on earth I was going to get out of this unscathed.

"This is not what you think." I was right in front of Haley now, commanding her attention. Her uncertain eyes were wide with incredulity, and they darted back and forth in slow motion between my brother and I, as if trying to reconcile her thoughts and racing mind with what was right in front of her.

"Yeah… I'm thinking so many things right now-"

"Well, don't think that this is a thing-" I cut her off, anxiety dripping from every syllable as my wild hands moved back and forth between Clay and I. I heard a scoff from my brother, and he stepped forward, a lopsided grin coming to his face.

"Isn't that what all people say when someone walks in on two people holding hands?"

I could kick my brother right now. Hard. In the balls.

"Not helping!"

I shot him a glare and he shook his head before closing his eyes, shoulders bobbing from the chuckle he was trying to conceal. I knew my brother thought I was a little nutty when it came to protecting my anonymity, and to most people it would seem extreme. But he had never had to doubt that the boys he befriended were really there for him and not using him as a means to get to me. He had never dealt with boys locking him in bathroom stalls, or shoving him into lockers, or tripping him in hallways, or hiding clothes from him in gym class, simply because he refused to be the conduit between them and his sibling that they wanted to get closer to. He simply didn't understand what it felt like to be used and abused as a means of getting closer to his sibling. And why would he understand it? Clay was all purity and kindness. He was one of a kind. He saw the best in people.

And he would be wracked with guilt if he ever knew of the torture I went through just so people could become a part of his orbit.

"Unclench, Brookie," Clay replied, moving closer to Haley and leaning down to grab the books that were scattered across the floor. Haley glanced at me in surprise, mouthing Brookie? to let me know that this entire thing was confusing as hell. And it was a complete and utter cluster. I wanted nothing more than to erase the last one hundred seconds from both of our lives. What I would have given to make this moment never actually happen and to go back to Haley having absolutely no idea that I was in any way, shape, or form connected to the god that was Clay Evans, but before I could even begin to explain, Clay was on his feet again, hands outstretched with the books piled neatly in his hold and pointed towards my roommate.

"I believe these belong to you, um-?"

Haley stared open-mouthed for a few seconds before looking down at the books in his hands. When she didn't take them, I hastily reached out and grabbed them, walking to her desk and placing them on top of the scratched wood as Haley struggled to find her voice.

"Clay Evans..." his name spilt from her lips in a mixture of whispers and disbelief, lingering in the air as Haley spoke and stared at him. He smiled at her reaction but not in a cocky way, because he had endured years of practice with this. Years of women being unable to form complete sentences around him. Years of starstruck people who were unable to bring their lips back together long enough to close their mouth and prevent themselves looking like they were in a permanent state of awe. It rolled off his shoulders like water off a duck's back and he was always kind in return, acknowledging that his presence could sometimes be distracting at first, but I always felt that deep down, all he really wanted was for people to see past the idea of the basketball star and unpack what really made him, him.

"Well, that's my name." Clay reached out his hand to shake, Haley looking down at his long fingers and catching her breath. "Now how about you tell me yours?"

She took his hand tentatively, looking from his face to mine, then to her books, and then finally her eyes did this interestingly beautiful squint as she pondered the situation before her.

"Clay Evans is in my room and just picked up my books."

So, Haley was now at the point where she could utter complete sentences. I had to hand it to the girl, she got there a lot faster than most girls did and this caused me to smile. She was surprising me more and more each day.

Clay glanced at me and cleared his throat, signalling that it was now my turn to make the introductions. It was weird, doing things this way. I never allowed Clay to meet my friends after my last horrid encounter with ex-best friend Alex Dupre. I ever trusted anyone enough for that to happen. And although this meeting between my brother and my roommate was entirely unplanned, I suddenly felt a little less anxious. I wasn't sure why, but I certainly wasn't going to let the memory of Alex ruin my trust in Haley. I shoved the brunette from my memory and plastered on a smile.

"Sorry, Clay meet Haley, my roommate." Clay smiled and raised his hand to his forehead, a quick flick of his wrist and fingers outstretched in a slight wave. Signature move. Cool, calm, causal, and aimed at making her feel less intimidated. He closed the distance between them slightly and brought out his pearly smile. Many girls liked to refer to it as a panty-dropper but for me, it just encapsulated all the warmth of Clay. He was trying to make Haley feel at ease and he was doing that for me.

"Ahh," Clay breathed, nodding his head in acknowledgement. "So, this is the roommate that is apparently better than the pricks I live with?" Haley gasped slightly at his words and tilted her head to the side, confusion washing over her features.

"You live with pricks?" No-filter-Haley was kind of fun. Clay must have thought so too because he chuckled then, glancing my way and raising an eyebrow.

"Apparently, according to this one." He motioned a thumb in my direction, and I flipped him off with a quick raise of my delicate middle finger. "Although most people don't mind the pricks I live with. It's just my darling sister here who seems to have a problem with anything even remotely related to basketball."

"Sister?" Haley glanced at me as Clay walked over and wrapped a protective, big brother bear arm around my shoulders and tugged me to his side. As if to encapsulate the completely familial bond between us, he reached up and ruffled my hair, my elbow finding his ribs in retaliation.

"From the same Mister!" He chuckled as I groaned at his words, shoving him off me slightly as I shook my head at him.

"Clay, I swear to god-" I rolled my eyes. My brother paid absolutely no notice.

"I wouldn't do that. It might anger him." Clay bared his teeth as he fake-winced, pointing a slender finger towards the heavens and already I could tell that the jovial side of my brother was now coming out. Haley laughed at his words and that seemed to make him relax even more because I could feel his arm slacken against my shoulders as he pulled me in again.

"Not funny."

"Haley thinks I'm funny." Her cheeks flushed crimson at his words, but she raised her eyes to meet his, defiantly disregarding her physical reaction to him. It was the first time I had ever seen a girl do that and my gut swirled a little with a strange feeling. Was it pride? Was it thankfulness? Before I could ascertain what it was exactly, Haley's smooth and collected voice penetrated my thoughts.

"Haley," she began, referencing herself in the third person as if she was a mere spectator to the show playing out in her room, "-is trying to get over the shock of having Clay Evans in her room, and the fact that he is the secret brother of her roommate, Brooke. The fact that you may or may not be funny is still to be determined."

Clay nodded his head at her words, seemingly content with her response. He always appreciated the truth and I think he would always find that with my roommate. He had a habit of drawing all kinds of people to him, but he had become good at reading people when I didn't shield him from the truth. Haley was a good person; any fool could see that. She was honest, and genuine, and I started to feel incredibly stupid for not having trusted her with my secret.

"And on that note," Clay sighed, untangling himself from me and shooting a wink towards Haley, "I'll leave you to it. Call me later?" He pressed a gentle kiss to my temple, and I nodded my agreement in silence before he sent a quick wave to both of us and opened the door. A brief glance outside signalled that the coast was clear, and he slipped out into the hallway, the door clicking shut behind him and dropping my roommate and I into an uncomfortable silence.

I could almost hear her brain ticking over, mentally unpacking the experience, and I could feel my heart sink. I felt a wave of stupidity wash over me, laced with regret. It knotted in my stomach, and I couldn't really find the words to go with the feeling. I was overwhelmed, and embarrassed, and uncertain.

So I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"I don't know what to say. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm sorry."

"Wait," Haley held up a hand to stop my words, walking slowly to the edge of her bed and sank down onto the covers. Her hands fell to her sides, and she gripped the edge of the bed, gathering her thoughts as if she too was unsure what to say or what to even feel.

The minutes felt like agony, and I couldn't bare the tension anymore.

"I'm really sorry."

I moved across to my bed and sat down so that we were facing one-another, entwining my fingers in my lap in anxiety as I watched her. She didn't look at me, instead choosing to look at the carpet absent-mindedly, as if wrapping her head around an enigma she just couldn't quite solve. After what seemed like forever she finally spoke, and I could swear in that moment my stomach did about a million flips uncontrollably as I waited for the backlash of my decision.

"But you hate basketball? Like, literally loathe it. How is that possible when you have Clay Evans, the name on every scout's lips, who boasts clear double-notch leads over all other players on the court and within the league, has an insane 3-point average success rate which has not been seen for well over a decade, and who is clearly the biggest thing to come to college football since the dawn of time… how is that possible when he is your brother?"

She raised her head to look me dead in the eye then, but there was no malice in her gaze. She was completely and utterly confused. "And how did I not know he was your brother?"

And there it was. She didn't care that Clay was Clay. She didn't care that he had a connection to me. Hell, she didn't even care that she could be as close to him as she wanted or that she had a direct line to him now, which was usually the reaction I dealt with. No, she didn't care about him because he was him – she cared that he was my brother, and I hadn't even told her. She cared about me. But I was so worried about people not being my friend because of him that I didn't even give her a chance to show me that she could.

And she was right. I had let her down. I had kept it a secret and I needed to explain.

"Different surname. I took my mother's maiden name after high school. I wanted a life of my own and not to live in the shadow of the god that is Clay Evans."

"Wow." She breathed out then, a slow, steady movement and she got to her feet, closing the distance between us and she sat beside me. I looked at her then, unsure what to say. This was definitely not the reaction I was used to, and I was treading in uncharted water.

"I mean, is it really that bad?"

"Don't get me wrong, Clay is the definition of the best human. He is a wonderful son. A devoted brother. An amazing athlete. He is by far and away the most perfect person in my life. He knows me in ways no one else does, and he accepts my flaws and my quirks and my annoyances and he takes it all in his stride because he is exactly what a big brother should be. No matter what happens in the world, I know he would sacrifice anything and everything to protect me. I am immensely proud of him, and his achievements, and I would die for him."

Haley raises her brows at me then and I can tell she wants me to continue. But it was hard. It had always been so incredibly hard to explain how the one person you love most in the world has also unintentionally caused you so much pain.

"I guess, when you are as amazing and talented and warm as Clay… everybody wants a piece of you. Clay is like the sun and like a sunflower, people naturally want to gravitate towards him and feel his warmth. Unfortunately for me, sometimes, when they don't have a direct line to that warmth, they use the next best thing to ensure that connection happens."

I shivered then, forcing the lump that threatened my throat, back down. I shifted uncomfortably on the spot, feeling the familiar thump of my accelerated heart beating beneath my chest. I didn't even realise that my nails were starting to leave marks in my palms until Haley reached out and caught my hands in her own, drawing my eyes to her in an effort to stop me from falling apart right before her.

"So it is that bad, huh?"

I swallowed hard, forcing the tears at bay. I wasn't going to give any of them the satisfaction. I wasn't going to give them the gift of my anger and pain. They didn't deserve it. But Haley deserved my honesty. She deserved the truth and she had most certainly earned it, even if we had only known each other for a short while.

"Someone hurt you badly?"

I nodded, building the courage to break through the pain that had festered within me for over a year now.

"Someone pretended to be my friend for years and I guess I caught on too late that she was only ever my friend when Clay was in the picture. He would go away every break for one camp or another, and I noticed I would never see her. She'd vanish. We'd walk the halls and she'd have some excuse not to walk with me. I'd call her, she'd never call back. I would see that she had read my message, but I never got a reply. She'd then suddenly be in my life again when Clay was around. And she knew how scared I was about people using me to get to my brother. We had spent countless nights talking it all through. And maybe I should have been smarter about it, but she knew everything about me, and it was nice to have someone just for me, who told me she was there for me and not for him. We told each other everything. We'd known each other since junior high and so I put it down to me just being paranoid. She told me I was, and I wanted desperately to believe her."

"But you weren't being paranoid. She was gaslighting you?"

I nodded my head, closing my eyes tight as I forced myself to relive the memory.

"We had a party at some guy on the team's house to celebrate the end of a season, and Clay was completely drunk. I'd never actually seen him so wasted but he had been going through a hard time and just needed to blow off some steam. He had a million girls hanging off him. I knew I had to be the one to take him home, because that's what we did. We looked out for each other; everyone knew it. We were a package deal. So, when I lost sight of him, I became really worried - I wandered the party, texting Alex, asking her where he was – telling her I was worried about how much Clay had had to drink. I guess that was all the ammunition she needed. She promised to help me look for him, disappeared into the crowd and I felt like maybe everything would be okay. But then half an hour had passed and I still hadn't found him, her friends were feigning ignorance about where she was, and so when I went upstairs, opened a door and there she was – straddled on him like some porn star hoping for her next big break – my heart shattered. And the worst part? She just smiled at me, like she wanted me to see it. Like somehow, she had won some triumphant victory over me."

Haley shook her head in dismay, anger permeating her eyes.

"I spent the next few months dealing with them seeing each other, Clay asking every day if it was really okay about it all. I didn't have the heart to hurt him and tell him who she really was."

"But you were hurting. Why is that an acceptable sacrifice?"

"Clay was going through a really hard time. It's not my place to say what or how, but he was. And I think being with Alex made him forget that for a while. It numbed the pain a bit and I wanted that for him."

"Oh Brooke," Haley breathed out slowly, sympathy replacing the anger in her eyes as she pulled me into a side-hug. "You shouldn't ever have to sacrifice your happiness for someone else."

"The greatest act of love is sacrifice," I replied leaning into her shoulder. "And there is no one I love more on this planet than Clay."

Haley nodded as her head rested atop mine, demonstrating that although she may not have agreed with my reasoning, she understood it. It was the support that I didn't realise I needed until she gave it to me, and I was so grateful to her for it.

"So where is this Alex-hussy now?" Haley asked, a shocked giggle coming from my lips at the word.

"I have no idea," I replied, shrugging my shoulders as I spoke. "Clay overheard her speaking to her girlfriends one night about how stupid I was to believe she would ever be my friend, and he dropped her then and there. The next year, he was off to college, and I wasn't."

"Did you ever speak to Alex again?"

"Yes," I replied, feeling a rigidity spreading across my body as memories flashed across my mind. The hallway taunts. The slamming into lockers. Guys using me to get to Clay. The bullying and threats that final year when Clay left and was no longer around to protect me. Then him. The one who took away every ounce of my trust simply to even the score. "It was a year of hell and now it is over. Now – I get my life back. My life, not my life as Clay's sister. Mine."

I could feel the tremble in my body, and I knew I couldn't speak anymore on the subject. It was a wound that still felt fresh, and sometimes when I thought back to it, like in moments like these, it was hard to believe that I had survived it at all.

"I get it," Haley finally replies, pulling me closer as if to ensure I believed her. "You have a guard up because you went through hell. You trusted a friend and she used you, so of course you feel uncertain about other people coming into your life and knowing who you are. It's not his fault, it's not your fault. People are just crap sometimes."

My god, she was amazing. How did I ever doubt her?

"It wasn't just her and she wasn't even the worst, but I have to try and move on. I must try and trust again – I should have trusted you. I'm sorry, Haley. I truly am."

I sniffled then, a single tear falling down my cheek. I wasn't sure if I was crying from the pain of it all or from the relief I felt from having this weight somewhat lifted off of me by Haley's compassion, but I knew that I was eternally grateful for her in that moment. I had never met anyone like Haley, so kind and so level-headed. She was able to understand people – really understand them, and I knew then that whatever happened, however she had met Clay, she was always going to be my friend. I would never have to wonder if she liked me for me, or what she could get from me. The weight of those negative fears and feelings had been weighing me down for so long, that when Haley came along, I couldn't lift my head from the weight of it. The fear had crushed me. But she turned the key, unlocked the gate and blew all those fears away.

"Don't apologise. You told the truth when you were ready to. It's not like you really lied… you just omitted a few things. And I'm telling you that I get it and that it's okay that you want to wait until you're sure about someone before you bring them into your life's secrets. I get it, and I'm here if you ever need me, okay?"

I smiled at her then, completely in awe of the girl before me.

"You're pretty great, you that?"

Haley reached up and kissed the top of my forehead, scrunching her nose as she smiled before her eyes changed into a glance of hope.

"So great that you might be willing to help a gal out tonight?"

When my face fell, she quickly intervened, rushing to get the words out. "No, no, no – this has nothing to do with your brother. Gosh, that still feels weird saying that." She walked over to the books on her desk and began sifting through them, pulling out a couple and tossing them into a backpack. When she didn't ask me what she clearly wanted to ask, I decided to help her out. Lord knows she had certainly helped me out tonight in a way that I might never be able to repay.

"What's up?"

She bit her lip and I knew she was nervous. "I need you to come with me to the library. I have a study session booked with someone and I could really use the backup."

She bit her bottom lip again and pulled the backpack over her shoulder, eyes wild and alive with a mixture of nerves and excitement. Or was it the fear of asking me the question? Either way, whatever she needed I was absolutely going to say yes. Hell, I'd do anything for her right now because she had earned it.

"Done, I am your girl." I stood up and smiled, raking a finger through my hair as I tried to make myself somewhat presentable. "Whoever it is, I have your back. Whatever you need."

Haley chuckled nervously and reached for my bag, sliding it over my shoulder and gritting her teeth in a forced smile that dripped with the anxiety that swirled within her.

"I'm glad you feel that way," she breathed reaching for her keys and opening the door to our dorm room before glancing back. "Because it's with Nathan Scott, and I don't trust myself with him."

Well, fuck.

x~X~x

The September evening sky sparkled with a mixture of summer and autumn constellations as we strode across the campus grounds, and it filled my entire body with delight. Although I wasn't exactly thrilled to be spending an evening with the slightly younger Scott brother, I had to admit that the journey from our dorm to the library was one I often journeyed simply for its beauty and the peace it brought me. I loved being outside and could often be found laying on the grass out the back of our house with Clay, talking about the galaxy and enjoying the wonders of the turn of the season. The crisp air, the twinkling of shooting stars, the gentleness of the setting sun and looming sky had always felt like a haven for me, and it certainly felt that way now as Haley and I made our way across the quad and towards the commanding library building before us.

Whatever the night brought, I could handle it.

A mixture of old versus new architecture, the library was as foreboding as it was beautiful, and it had quickly become one of my favourite places on the entire campus. As we neared the front door and made our way past the scanning desk, the familiar scent of oak, paper, and carpet hit my senses like a dream and I couldn't help the small smile that crossed my lips. We walked past a few huddled groups who barely registered us and this only added to my feeling of contentment. Here, I could be anonymous. Here, I could be no one. That wasn't something I had before, and I embraced the anonymity. It was comforting and silent and golden.

"Tutor girl, you made it."

Breaking me from my reverie, Nathan Scott's booming voiced filled the quiet library. Eyes darted up from their books at the sound, the legendary raven-haired basketballer commanding attention purely from the depth of his pipes. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see girls coming to attention, lips being bitten in desire, and hair being fixed. There was no doubting that Nathan Scott was a hot commodity on campus, and the cocky grin that fell from his lips as he watched us approach showed that he knew exactly what kind of impact he had on those around him. Cerulean orbs lit up at the sight of us, and more than a few hushed whispers erupted as Haley and I made our way towards the outstretched arm of Nathan who was holding the privately booked study room door open for us.

"Nathan."

Haley's voice was calm and firm as she said his name and it took everything within me to stop myself from smiling at her clear determination to not let him deter her from her duty that evening of making sure he leaned something. But as she walked past him and into the room, I could have sworn she lingered a little longer than necessary in the doorway and he didn't seem to mind one bit. The smirk that reached across his features was one of pure delight the moment she brushed past, and I knew there was something there that Nathan clearly wanted.

"Because it's with Nathan Scott, and I don't trust myself with him."

I couldn't say I blamed her. He looked at her like a snack.

"Davis," he breathed as I walked towards him, tilting his head in acknowledgement as a cocky smile began to form. He glanced into the room and back at me. "Nice of you to join us. Now we have even numbers."

Even? My confusion only served to make his grin grow wider. Oh god-

Walking into the room I could sense his presence before he had even come into view, but it was too late to retreat. With elbows resting against the tabletop and a delicate hand to his temple, Lucas Scott was the epitome of studious behaviour. Long, slender fingers flicked over the page before him as his eyes traversed the printed script and it was as if he was lost in his own world. His chest rose and fell beneath the baby blue cotton t-shirt that adorned his undeniably chiselled body, and as I looked at him, I suddenly felt as if the world had slowed to an almost complete stop and that the only thing in my view was him.

It was absolutely thrilling, and absolutely horrifying.

It wasn't until Haley's bag fell to the table and he was broken from the spell of whatever it was that he was reading, that he came crashing back to earth, looked up from his book and landed his gaze firmly on me. He blinked slightly, but as quickly as the shock of seeing me filtered though his gaze it was gone again, and the hand that laid against his temple dropped to the table as a smile embraced his lips.

"Cheery."

So we were sticking with that nickname, were we? Lucas looked at me and I stared at him for a moment, just a moment, as I considered his greeting. Ripping my eyes from his, I took a seat next to Haley and began to unpack my bag.

"Broody."

My reply greeting only seemed to incite him and his lips turned up into that signature cocky grin. The one that made my determined head hate him but my nether regions to completely rebel against me. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to avoid his gaze as I brought out my crumpled copy of The Beautiful and Damned from my bag and settled in.

"Interesting choice."

Stirring from my pages, I glanced up and found Lucas staring intently at me, his eyes moving from the front cover of my book to me. He titled his head to the side and nodded his head in some silent acknowledgement, and I could feel the annoyance bubble within me, a scowl forming on my brow.

He seemed to like that reaction even more.

"Interesting?"

"A lot of people believe that particular piece to be one of Fitzgerald's weakest," Lucas announced, sliding backwards into his chair and shrugging. "Not many people see the value in it."

Booming laughter echoed beside me as Nathan slapped his hand down on the table, Haley giggling at his obvious delight in whatever it was they had been discussing. It was interesting seeing Haley this way, carefree and happy. After dealing with the heaviness of our afternoon, it was refreshing to see her enjoying college her college experience. That was the whole point, as my mother would say. The last thing I ever wanted was to infect her with my own issues. But then Haley's words echoed through my mind as I watched them. She didn't trust herself with him. I could see why – there was definitely something brewing there beneath the surface. I just wasn't sure what his intentions were and with everything that Haley had done for me lately, I just wanted to protect her. She turned to look at me in that moment and flushed slightly crimson when she realised they had an audience, before discretely shaking her head from side to side as if to send the signal that she didn't want me to interject and that she was okay. That was enough for me. I tore my eyes away from them and back on the smirking blonde before me.

"People ruin each other," I breathed, somehow finding myself defending the book as if my life depended on it. "Even those who love each other. I think he was too young to write the book at the time but everything he said was true. We ruin each other over things that shouldn't destroy us."

"I wish The Beautiful and Damned had been a maturely written book because it was all true. We ruined ourselves—I have never honestly thought that we ruined each other." Lucas smiled as he said the words and it took me a minute to remember to breathe. "Fitzgerald said that."

"That he did."

"Oh my god," Nathan groaned, his face twisting into an undeniable look of shock. "I cannot believe it. My bro has finally found someone who is just as nerdy about these old-ass books as he is."

Lucas glared at his brother as he got to his feet, Nathan holding his hands up in some sort of half-apologetic, half-amused defeat. Haley shot me a look of remorse but before I could reply to her, I could feel his presence behind me, Lucas tapping the top of my chair and calling me to attention.

"Come. I want to show you something."

"I don't take orders-"

But he wasn't interested in my latest witty retort. His hand reached down and entangled with my own, and before I knew it, I was on my feet and being herded out of the study room door. I tried to pull my hands from his, but his grip was warm and for whatever reason my body betrayed me and decided it fit nicely within his grasp. Whispers erupted around us as he led me towards the stacks at the far-left corner of the library and it took all my strength the drown them out and force down the rising feeling of panic within me.

So many eyes on me, so many questioning looks – so many possible spot fires to put out.

Man, Haley really owed me for this!

Before long we had trudged past the remaining bookshelves and Lucas pulled me into the final aisle, dropping my hand as he perused the shelves before him. I instantly looked down at where his grip had been, suddenly feeling the loss of his touch and cursing myself for feeling as such. He didn't even notice, Lucas keeping his eyes on the books before him as he spoke.

"Look, are you okay. After everything?"

Oh, we were back to this again. Of course we were. The tale of the roofied freshman was all over campus and Lucas had come down hard on the house, supported fully by my brother. What Clay said, went. What Lucas said, went. I often wondered who the more dominant alpha male was in that situation. What it might have felt like living in that house. Something told me it was Lucas because my brother just didn't care for those types of hierarchy. People just naturally followed him. But where Clay would walk away from it all if it meant protecting me, I didn't know anything about Lucas and what was at stake for him. Only the rumours. The really shitty rumours about a douchebag father and the need to protect his mother. The Scott brothers had been through it, but they came out of it on the other side as legends in the making. Or future sporting heroes. Or something along those lines, at least. Naturally he was going to protect that future at any cost.

And I certainly wasn't going to get in the way of that. So I did what I do best in situations I don't want to be in – I acted as if I didn't give a flying toss about any of it.

"Peachy."

"Brooke-" his voice came out like a soft warning laced with sympathy and it made my stomach churn. I hated him thinking of me like that. I didn't want his pity. I didn't need it.

"No seriously, you can't stop freaking out that I'm going to have a breakdown or sue or get the college involved. I'm not. I took the drink freely, I shouldn't have-"

"It's not your fault." He raised his voice then, turning to face me finally as he pulled a book from the shelf.

"Actually, I am technically an underage drinker and therefore I risk my own future if any of this gets out, so believe me when I say, we're good. I'll keep my mouth shut. You can stop acting like you care."

He stilled then and folded his arm across his chest, refusing to look anywhere but at me. My god, he was polarising. Those baby blues were some sort of hypnotic witchcraft. "Who said it was an act?"

Damn it. His words caused my cheeks to flush, and I knew he would have seen them inflame. I could feel it and I hated myself for it. I waited for the inevitable onslaught of cocky taunts and suggestive remarks, but nothing came. Instead, he pulled the book out from under his crossed arms and held it out towards me. "Here, look."

Taking the book from his grip, I glanced at the title and smiled. The Beautiful and Damned. I ran my hand across the deep emerald fabric and embossed title, humming in delight before opening the front cover. As if taking that as a cue, Lucas manoeuvred and stood directly behind me, arm outstretched and snaking around my side as he flicked through the browning pages for me and pointed to the publication year.

1922.

"Oh my god," I exclaimed in sheer surprise, turning to look over my shoulder and up at the boy directly behind me. He was so close that had I wanted to, I could have leaned my head back against his chiselled chest. Had I wanted to. I bit down on my lip and his eyes darkened at the move.

It took me a minute to form my next sentence.

"-and they just have this here where anyone could take it?"

He nodded then, moving his fingertip from the page and resting his arm against the shelving. He was so close. So very close. I couldn't move away from him, my feet cemented to that very spot and held in place. His lips curled into a grin.

"No one seems to have the level of taste that we do."

His lips were now inches away from my own. Electric warmth permeated me in more than one place. It was scary and exhilarating and so damn annoying. Lucas' soft chuckle broke me from my trance and my eyes turned to his.

"I have taste. I don't know what you have."

I turned and angled myself out from the cocoon of him, ensuring we were face to face. I needed to create the distance just to ensure my mind didn't get confused. Just to ensure I was back in control.

"I never know what I'm going to get with you."

"You're getting nothing with me. Nowhere. I have a rule." Gentle hands reached out and shoved him back. It was soft, but it was determined. I was determined.

"You have a rule about me?" His interest was piqued, and he chuckled at my words, so arrogant and full of self-assuredness. "Please, enlighten me."

"I don't deal with this," stepping backward to ensure a safe distance formed, I raised my hands in the air, circling around his face and body as I illustrated my thoughts. "The hair, and the hotness, and the jock-ness and the inevitable drooling girls and jealousy. All of this."

He reached out and took my hand in his mid-air, drawing it to his chest. I could feel his muscles, I could feel his heart beating. I could feel my resolve beginning to fade.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

"You don't know what all of this is." He stepped forward, pulling me against him and closing the distance between us that I had previously tried to create. "You don't have the slightest clue."

"I believe I do." My voice was a whispered hush, my resolve failing. "I know exactly how all this goes. Exactly how all this feels."

"How this feels?" He leaned forward then, warm fingertips from the hand that was still free reaching out and brushing a strand of my hair behind my left ear. I could smell him, oh god could I smell him, his proximity making it impossible for me to inhale anything else. I let out a shaky breath, my chest rising and falling with every inhalation as we watched one another, hidden there in the stacks. At any moment someone could walk by, blowing my entire idea of anonymity out of the water. I held my breath, internally fighting the urges to flee or to give in.

"Tell me to stop if you don't like it." His hand moved to my hip, holding me in position. When I didn't speak, he dipped his head, hovered just above my lips and waited. I could feel the warmth of his breath and my mind went into another dimension, a small groan escaping my lips in my body's final act of betrayal. That was all he needed, and as carefully as he had approached me, he brushed my lips with his own so softly that I knew it was over. I knew I was gone.

"Tell me to stop if you don't like it."

Hell, I didn't like it.

I fucking loved it.

The last of my resistance crumbled and I wound my arms around his neck, hungrily pulling his lips back to mine.

x~X~x

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