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World Tour
Chapter 8 – Denver
Ashley has been in Spencer's head for days. Spencer can't get their kiss to leave her mind. She can't stop feeling bad for making Ashley believe she doesn't remember. Spencer has been having a hard time sleeping. She has been snapping at everyone since Vegas. Ashley has even backed off some not wanting to make the blonde feel suffocated. Ashley wants to know what is going on with the blonde, but she is assuming that the pictures and rumors that followed the next day in Vegas is what is causing the blonde's mood. Ashley never wanted to make problems for Spencer. She never wanted to make Spencer's relationship difficult with her boyfriend.
"We have reached the Pepsi Center." Zack's voice filled the tour bus. Spencer didn't move. She lays there and stares at the ceiling of the bus. Spencer looks over at Ashley's bed when she hears the brunette start moving. Ashley has been asleep for over three hours. Spencer wishes she was able to sleep. She really hates that she can't sleep. The younger singer wants to be able to shut her mind off. She thinks if she talks to Ashley about the kiss it would make her feel better, but she lets fear control her actions. Spencer still isn't ready for that talk. Ashley sits up in bed and rubs sleep from her eyes. She looks over at her roommate and smiles sweetly. Spencer lightly smiles back.
"So, I have a room in Ameristar Casino resort. It is like 50 mins from here…"
"Why are you staying so far away?" Spencer asks interrupting the brunette.
"Well, if you wouldn't cut me off you would know." Ashley giggles before continuing. "Echo mountain is about 45 minutes from the hotel. We can get to the mountain by at least 11:00 which is when they open so it works. We can snowboard or ski all day, whichever you do. They are open until 9pm. We have all day. We can check into the room anytime after 4pm but was thinking we would just stay at the ski resort all day. We have rehearsals at 3 and 3:30 tomorrow so we have enough time to make it back with no problems cause check out is at 11. What do you say? I mean you don't have to come. I just love to board, and I haven't been in a couple years." Ashley rambles on. Spencer giggles at the brunette.
"I haven't went snowboarding since I was like 14."
"We will get through this together." Ashley announces then grabs their bags and makes her way out of the bus. Ashley locates John and walks over to the SUV.
"Where we off to Ms. Davies?" John asks taking the bags from Ashley and places them in the back.
"We are going to the Echo Mountain first then to Ameristar Casino resort to stay the night. I got you a room too. We are going to Echo Mountain to snowboard. If, you don't want to do that, you don't have too. You can find something else to do and pick us up at about 8 tonight. Then go to the hotel from there."
"Sounds fun. I haven't got to go skiing this year. Usually, I go every year." John says happily. Ashley smiles at him while they wait for Spencer at the black vehicle.
"Yeah, whatever. I got to go. I'll call you later or tomorrow." Spencer says angrily into her phone before hanging it up. Ashley looks at her with concern. "Sorry, wrong timing, I guess." Spencer says to Ashley before climbing into the SUV. Ashley follows right behind her counterpart.
"Want to talk about it?" Ashley asks the silent woman beside her.
"Just always arguing. It is getting annoying. Blowing up my damn phone all the time. I want to turn my phone off and leave it that way." Spencer stresses out to Ashley.
"Maybe we won't have service where we are going." Ashley says with a light shrug. Spencer smiles at Ashley. Spencer knows Ashley is just trying to make her feel better even if it is only a little bit. Ashley is glad she can help in some way, no matter how slight it is. Spencer ends up with her head on Ashley's shoulder sleeping within 20 minutes of their ride. Ashley is too excited to sleep. She hates the chairlifts but the feeling of flying down the mountain on her board is so worth it.
"Princess?" Ashley whispers into Spencer ear causing her to start to wake up. "We are here." Let's go get this gear and start our day. Both woman and John get inside to start getting everything they need. They need to get pants, gloves, and jackets because they didn't come prepared for this. Ashley did her research like always. She could get everything, she needs here. She can rent her equipment and then buy her clothing. Ashley is okay with that. Ashley knows Spencer is going to want to pay for her own things and she is going to let her. She is only letting her because of how distant, the blonde has been lately. She doesn't want to push her away even more than she already is.
"Ashley Davies?" A young woman asks, walking up to them. "OH MY GOD, SPENCER CARLIN!" The young woman screams out, jumping up and down. Spencer covers her ears and eyes the girl. Ashley stands smirking at the blonde. Spencer has been hating when she gets recognized. Spencer and Ashley spent almost 40 minutes taking pictures and signing autographs before John moves everyone back.
"That's all now. They have come here to enjoy snowboarding so if you could give them space to do that. Thank you." John announces to the room. Everyone respected the fact that they are all there for basically the same thing. The 3 of them got everything they need for their day on the slopes. After 2 hours of using the small hill to get back into the groove of things and to get use to it again, Ashley and Spencer start for a bigger hill. Both stand next to each other waiting for their turn on the chair lift.
"Having fun so far?" Ashley asks the person accompanying the space next to her.
"Yes. What about you?"
"Of course. I always have fun with you. Plus, it makes it even better when you fall on your ass." Ashley says laughing.
"At least I didn't literally eat snow, when I fell." Spencer says lightly shoulder checking Ashley with a laugh. Both women continue laughing together enjoying their time. Ashley is making Spencer forget all her problems. Spencer is glad she can have this clear mind right now. Spencer is completely relaxed and loving it. They spent their daylight hours going on all the longer, steeper hills.
"Want to stop for some food?" Ashley asks the blonde. Spencer doesn't answer but nods her head. Both singers make it to the bottom and start unstrapping their board. They make their way into the building after storing their unnecessary equipment.
"Hey, John." Ashley says spotting their driver. "You give up?" Ashley adds.
"Yes, took it too hard and almost hurt myself so no more for me." John lightly giggles at himself. Both artist smile at him.
"Have you eaten?" Spencer asks him. John shakes his head.
"Join us for… I guess this would be dinner. It is after 5." Ashley says. The 3 of them walk into the Brothers' Grille. They wait for someone to seat them.
"This way." The hostess tells them. They follow the girl to the back of the restaurant where there is barely anyone. "Thought you'd like the privacy." The hostess tells them.
"That is greatly appreciated." Spencer tells her.
"Yes, thank you." Ashley adds. They take a seat. Ashley next to Spencer and John across the table from Spencer this time. Ashley is sitting by the wall.
"Have you ladies been enjoying your fun time? I think you need more days like this." John asks then adds.
"Yes." Both singers say in unison. They turn and smile at each other before looking back at John.
"After Spencer got the hang of it again, I was able to blow down the mountain without feeling bad about leaving her." Ashley says laughing. Spencer pushes Ashley lightly into the wall. Ashley smiles over at the blonde.
"You know you ate it, literally, twice before I did. I don't understand why you are the one that keeps talking shit." Spencer lets out sternly. The brunette giggles at the whining blonde. They enjoy small talk the rest of their meal. At 6:30 both women decide to go back out until 8. Ashley really wants to do some night runs. Both women spend the next two hours enjoying themselves as much as they can. Ashley made sure to talk about things to keep Spencer's mind off the drama in her life when they were on the lifts. They joked and laughed. Ashley felt like she got her friend back. Ashley hopes Spencer stays this way and doesn't go back to being withdrawn and mute. This is the most fun Spencer has had in a while.
"Are you ready to head back to the hotel and rest?" Ashley asks grabbing her equipment and walking inside to return it.
"Yes. My muscles might be sore tomorrow."
"We can sit in the hot tub for a while when we get back to the hotel, if you want." Ashley says with a smile. Both females return their stuff.
"Thank you." Both say together, grabbing their small bags from John.
"He is the best." Ashley says as they walk into the restroom to get changed.
"He really is." Spencer adds. They quickly change then walk out to meet John. Ashley reminds John where they are going, and they all settle into the SUV so they can be comfortable for their hour ride to the hotel.
"I hope you don't mind sharing a room with me. I wasn't sure if you would want to come with or not. I didn't get a third room. We can try to see if they have another room." Ashley rambles out to the blonde.
"Ash, it is fine. I will share a room with you."
"It's a king bed. I can sleep on the couch. No problem." Ashley hesitantly lets out.
"Don't be ridiculous." Spencer states firmly then smiles over at the nervous brunette. "You are never nervous. I think it is adorable when you are." Spencer whispers out causing Ashley to blush lightly. Ashley is glad it's so dark so Spencer can't see it.
"You sashayed across the snow today. It was amazing." Ashley says giggling lightly. Spencer starts laughing.
"Sashay? One of your words of the day?" Spencer continues to laugh at the brunette.
"Yes." The Rockstar answers then puts her hand over Spencer's mouth to get her to stop laughing at her.
"I think it's great when you let that app on your phone get into your head." The blonde says holding Ashley's hand away from her mouth. Spencer is leaning against her car door. Ashley leaning half way on her trying to cover Spencer's mouth. Both women began basically wrestling in the back seat. Spencer still laughing while Ashley is still trying to get her to stop. The SUV hit a bump in the road causing Ashley to fully fall on top of Spencer. They lock eyes with each other, both searching for something to hold onto. Ashley is searching for a reason to bring their lips together. Ashley slowly starts to lower her head down. Spencer is laying there frozen. She doesn't want to stop Ashley, but she can't do this right now either. Spencer is already going through a lot she doesn't need to complicate things even more. Her life is already too much for her to handle right now.
"I'm sorry. I hit a pot hole." Just as Ashley's lips are about to touch Spencer's John began to apologize to the women in his back seat. His words cause Ashley to jump up and place herself back into her proper seat. Ashley leans her forehead on her cold window sighing. Spencer watching the Rockstar battle whatever is going on inside of her. Therefore, the blonde distanced herself from Ashley since Vegas. She doesn't want to keep feeling worse and worse because she is hiding things from the brunette. It is already eating Spencer alive knowing she lied, but it makes everything 10-fold watching the hurt on Ashley's face. Spencer can't be what the brunette wants and needs. Right now, she knows she can't give Ashley everything she is displaying she wants from the younger singer. Ashley knows Spencer is in a long-committed relationship and that the blonde is straight, but Ashley can't stop herself from falling. Ashley can't stop herself from the feelings that get deeper and deeper every time she is around Spencer. Ashley doesn't like that she feels like she is breaking her own heart. She doesn't blame Spencer for any of this. Ashley blames herself for starting to fall for the blonde. Ashley didn't see it coming and when she did, she didn't stop it either. For that, Ashley only blames herself. Silence filled the car the rest of the ride to the hotel. Once they got parked at the hotel, Ashley checked them into their rooms.
"Leaving at 11?" John inquires.
"Yes." Ashley answers him.
"Goodnight Ms. Davies and Ms. Carlin."
"Goodnight." Both artists say in unison as John gets off the elevator and heads to his room.
"I am going to shower." Ashley tells Spencer. The blonde nods her head and moves further into the room. Ashley disappeared with her bag into the bathroom. Spencer changes into a black tank top and shorts before sitting down on the bed sighing. Spencer is trying to keep herself together and it has been incredibly hard. She doesn't know what to do. Spencer never planned for this tour to be like this. She never wanted to feel like she is betraying the person she has been with since she was 16. Spencer gets up from the bed, grabs her little pouch from her bag, and throws on some sweats and a hoodie. She grabs a room key from the dresser and walks out the door. The lady at the front desk told them, when they were checking in, that the pool/hot tub is on the roof. Spencer is hoping it has some outdoor area. The hotel doesn't have balconies, which drives the younger artist crazy. Spencer is having a hard time getting the kiss she shared with the brunette out of her head. She is having a hard time forgetting what Ashley's lips on hers felt like. She wants to do it again. Spencer wants the brunette's lips on hers so much that she can't stop dreaming about it. The kiss has been driving the blonde's mind to go extra crazy. She has never felt this way before. Granted, she has only ever kissed now three people; her lips have never felt that spark and her body has never felt that fire. She has only had true feelings for one other person besides the feeling she knows she is having for Ashley. She can't tell you exactly how deep her feeling for the Rockstar go because she is refusing to let herself go there. Spencer doesn't want to admit her life is going to be making changes. She doesn't want to admit that she can't stop her world from turning upside down, but she knows its going to drive her wild and not in a bad way. Spencer knows it is going to happen, but she isn't ready to make those steps just yet.
"I thought I'd find you here." Ashley's voice breaks Spencer from her thoughts. "You smoke weed?" Ashley adds watching the blonde blow smoke from her mouth. Spencer eyes Ashley trying to find the right words to say. Spencer extends her hand to the brunette to offer her the blunt. Ashley waves her hand at Spencer not wanting to take it. Spencer shrugs her shoulders and brings swisher back up to her mouth.
"On occasion. It relaxes me when nothing else is working or when I have too much stress in my life." Spencer finally answers Ashley's question. Ashley eyes Spencer again wondering what happened to the innocents the younger woman portrays so easily. Spencer starts giggling at the shock face that is still on Ashley's face since finding the blonde smoking a blunt.
"I have never smoked weed before." Ashley admits to the blonde. Spencer looks at Ashley shocked. Ashley lets out a giggle at the younger woman's face.
"Never?" Spencer wonders.
"I've done a lot of things but weed has never been one of them." The Rockstar reveals to the blonde.
"First time I smoked I was 14. I caught Glen smoking and so I wouldn't tell on him, he made me smoke too. I didn't like it that much. The feeling was weird to me. I didn't do it again until I was almost 17. I was drunk." Spencer lets out, sighing.
"What's wrong?" Ashley questions. Spencer sighs once again before taking another hit of her blunt. Spencer uses the brick wall to fully put it out before throwing almost half of it in the trash.
"Beer?" Spencer questions. Ashley watches the blonde before nodding her head. They make their way down to the bar in the casino. They made it to the bar and they both order a beer and Spencer orders a double shot on top of it. After getting their drinks, they find a table to sit at. They found a table away from other people so they could talk more privately.
"You okay?" Ashley finally asks breaking their silence. Spencer looks up at Ashley before dropping her eyes again down to pick at the label on her beer.
"Do you have any tattoo's?" Spencer wonders changing the subject for now. Spencer knows they will get back to their conversation later, but she doesn't want to talk about it right now.
"Is that a question?" Ashley asks knowing Spencer isn't ready to talk. Spencer nods her head and Ashley smiles in return. "I have three. You?" Ashley answers.
"I have one. What and where are they?" Spencer looks up at Ashley with her eyebrow raised.
"I have one on the back of my right shoulder. It's a bird with music notes coming out of it. I have one on my lower back. The last one is on my hip bone, it's 3 stars. That counts as two questions." Ashley pauses because she is laughing at her last statement. "We need to finish this 20 questions game. Where is your one at?" Ashley laughs again. Spencer smiles at Ashley knowing she is right. They have been playing this game for like a month now.
"You should have seen it already. The words on my left forearm."
"Yes, it says 'One day I want to make love last forever'. Of course, I have seen it." Ashley tells the blonde. "When did you get it? And why? Yes, it's two questions."
"I got it two months after I turned 18 because I want…" Spencer pauses trying to find the right words that won't cause Ashley to question her more, but she knows she won't find them. "I want to love someone enough to know that we will make love last forever one day."
"You don't feel that with your boyfriend?" Ashley inquires. Their talking is no longer the game and becomes a serious conversation. Spencer picks more of her label off her bottle, thinking of the words to say to the brunette. Spencer picks up the double shot and takes it, washing it down with her beer.
"Honestly, I don't know. I have only ever been with one person. Only ever had feelings for one person. Even if it sounds bad, I feel like there is so much more out there. I feel like I should feel so much more if I am going to be with someone for the rest of my life." Spencer rambles on. Ashley nods her head. She understands where Spencer is coming from. Ashley has never felt or met someone she wants to be with for the rest of her life. She imagines that person is out there. Ashley wonders sometimes if Spencer could be that person for her. If she could be that person for Spencer. Those are big if's for Ashley. Ashley knows she has feelings for the blonde, but Ashley isn't that deep with her feelings yet. That love is nonexistent to her, but she has little glimpses of hope that it's real.
"I get that. I wonder if that kind of love is even possible, but we are both so young, we could find it one day. I hope we find it one day." Ashley admits downing the rest of her beer. Spencer follows suit and downs the rest of hers. They both go get another beer. Ashley joins Spencer this time and gets a double shot. They grab their drinks and go back to their table.
"How many serious relationships have you been in?" Spencer questions the brunette.
"Just one." Ashley starts. They lock eyes for a minute before Ashley drops hers to the table to fully think about her answer. "It was the girl I told you about on the beach. Her name was Maggie, I didn't have anything serious before her. I haven't had anything serious after her. We were great for a little over a year. I did love her. I mean, I did to a point. When my dad died, it all went downhill from there. I realized I didn't love her enough. I pushed her away and that was fine with me. I couldn't be what she wanted and needed. I didn't love her enough. I couldn't love her the way she deserved. She was great and I wasn't." Ashley pauses. "Sometimes I think if my dad didn't pass away maybe she would have been enough. Maybe that love we had would have been enough." Ashley pauses once again, taking a drink of her beer before she continues again. "I think about it now since I've dealt with it all. I know it wasn't enough. I know our love wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to be forever." Ashley finishing picking at her beer label like Spencer was doing earlier. The whole time Spencer watches Ashley's emotions go across her face.
"Everything isn't the same, but I get what you mean. I just feel like there should be more. I should feel more and want to do more, when I don't." Spencer admits to the brunette across from her.
"What was wrong earlier?" Ashley questions changing the subject.
"I was kind of cross faded when I lost my virginity. Talking about when I first started smoking weed…" Spencer pauses looking up at Ashley. Spencer can see anger spread across the older woman's face. "I am at fault. I am the one that pushed it. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to lose it already but after and looking back now..." Spencer sighs. "I wish I would have waited and not been that quick to lose it." The blonde finishes. Spencer picks up her shot and raises it to Ashley. The shorter woman picks up her shot, cheering Spencer. Both woman down their shot together and wash it down with their beer.
"My 18th question is…" Ashley pauses dramatically, drumming her fingers on the edge of the table. Spencer starts giggle at the older artist, waiting for her to continue. "Where do you want to grow old?" Ashley wonders.
"That's a good question." Spencer halts her words, thinking of her response. "I guess, it would depend on who I am with. People change things in you when you meet them and fall in love. If I never find that forever person, I love L.A so, I'd buy a house and stay there. What about you, Rockstar?"
"I have never thought about moving away from L.A. I have been to a lot of places. L.A has just always been home. You never know though. Things can change at the drop of a dime." Ashley lightly smiles. Spencer returns it.
"That is very true. I love trying new things and I love being adventurous, but I hate change which is weird considering my scenery changes basically every day. I never know what is going to happen on tour, but I still love it but fear the changes all at the same time."
"The love and that high from performing and fans screaming your name is enough to chase your fear away and make it all worth it." Ashley says understanding Spencer. Spencer nods her head happily. The younger artist is happy that Ashley always seems to get her and what she is saying. "Another beer?" Ashley asks after finishing hers.
"No, I've had four shots and two beers on top of weed so I am good, or it will be very bad, very soon. I don't think you want to deal with a crossed faded Spencer." Spencer giggles at her admittance.
"I don't think you would be that bad." Ashley smiles at the blonde before getting up from her chair. Spencer follows suit and they begin their walk back to their room. "So, where did you get your weed from?" Ashley breaks their silent walk.
"Glen. I couldn't even attempt to get any myself. It would be everywhere." Spencer giggles at the thought of everyone thinking she is a pothead.
"Does Glen still smoke?"
"I actually don't know. I haven't seen him smoke in a long time. I don't smoke that much so I am fine with smoking alone. Hm, I should find out if my manager is still a pothead." Spencer laughs at her words. Ashley raises her eyebrow at the blonde then smirks. Ashley can't believe how much the woman beside her amazes her so much.
"We have two more questions a piece. Want to finish the game or save them?" Ashley watches the blonde think of her reply.
"Save them for now, I don't have any 'get to know' questions right now. I do have a question though. How the hell did you keep track of how many questions we had left? I lost count after the first couple of questions the first night."
"I've been tallying them up in my phone." Ashley admits with a huge grin. Spencer lightly shoulder checks Ashley.
"I thought you had like this amazing memory or some shit." Spencer begins laughing, shaking her head.
"Well, I do but for my songs not for our number of questions." Ashley tells the blonde laughing along with her. "I can sleep on the couch if sleeping in the same bed is going to be weird." Ashley adds as they walk into the hotel room.
"Ashley, take off your clothes and get into bed. You continuously telling me you can sleep on the couch is making this weird." Spencer exclaims, not realizing how the first part of her rant sounded. Ashley eyed Spencer but said nothing. "What?" Spencer wonders realizing the look on Ashley's face.
"Nothing. Just reminds me why I say you're the dominant one." Ashley smirks at Spencer then pulls her hoodie over her head.
"What do you…" Spencer stops talking and drops her face into her hands, trying to cover up the blush that just colored her cheeks. "I… Um… Never mind." Spencer takes off her hoodie and sweats before jumping into the bed and covering up.
"Goodnight, Princess." Ashley whispers after she climbed into the bed.
"Thank you for inviting me today. I needed that freedom. Sleep well. Goodnight, Ash." Spencer whispers back before rolling onto her side. Spencer is facing away from Ashley. Ashley smiles at the back of Spencer's head before getting comfortable and letting sleep take over.
