Disclaimer: I own nothing. Song used is Dustin Lynch 'Love me or leave me alone'

Author's Notes: Sorry for the wait! Thank you so much for the reviews. Enjoy!

World Tour

Chapter 14 – New Orleans

(Ashley's POV)

It has been almost two weeks since I found out that Spencer is gay. I still haven't talked to her. I'm not ready to hear her out yet. I feel betrayed and hurt. I thought we shared everything with one another. I'm gay too. Why couldn't she just tell me? Was she scared I would out her to everyone? Does she really think that low of me? I have thousands of questions running through my head and they need answers but only when I'm ready will I hear the answers for them. Spencer has tried to talk to me every day since I found out, but I walk away from her and ignore her calls. She has even come to my room a couple of times, but I don't open the door. I glance over at the clock that reads 9:35. I am due at the Smoothie King Center in 10 minutes. I go on stage in an hour and 10 minutes. I get up from my bed and grab my hoodie to meet John downstairs. He has still been driving Spencer, but we don't ride together anywhere. Spencer moved back to her bus. The only reason is because I was childish and told Kyla to tell Glen I had her stuff moved. I haven't spoken one word to her since I left her at her grandparent's house. I make my way down to the lobby and John is standing by the main doors.

"Good evening Ms. Ashley." John greets me. I give him a small smile before letting him guide me to the SUV 10 feet in front of us. I jump into the back seat and settle in. The drive to the venue is only a couple minutes. Tomorrow will be exactly two months since we started this tour. I wanted to get Spencer a gift like I did for the first month but decided against it since we aren't speaking right now. Okay, I'm not speaking to her right now because like I said she has been trying. I've been so lost in my head lately that everything seems to be flying by in a blur. I wake up, go to rehearsal, or just sit in my room, I do my shows, I sit on the tour bus staring at the walls or I am writing songs. I don't really do much. I keep to myself and when someone talks to me, I say the minimum I can.

"Ashley you are on in 5." Brad yells to me as he walks past my dressing room. I sigh then walk out and towards the stage. As I walk to the stage I spot Spencer. As far as I knew she leaves for the hotel right after her show. I'm a little surprised she is still here. I get handed a microphone and then am ushered forward to walk onto the stage.

"GOOD EVENING NEW ORLEANS!" I yell out.

"WOOOO!" I laugh as the cheers last a little longer than most places.

"I might have a little surprise for you guys tonight. We will see." I say then laugh when I hear 'boo's' along with cheers. "Let's get this started, shall we?" I stop as everyone cheers. I make it through my set with ease. After my last song I grab a stool and mic stand. I put my mic up then grab my guitar. I settle myself on the stool with my guitar in my lap. I quickly glance to the side of the stage and my eyes meet Spencer's for just a second before I scan the crowd. "I wrote this song last week. I want to play it for you guys tonight. It is different from my other songs, so I hope you like it." I speak into the microphone. After the cheers settle down, I begin playing the cords.

"I've been holding this in

From the very first kiss

And I've been losing my mind

Tryina' keep up like this

But we both know that there comes a time

And I hate to sound harsh, or unkind

Love me or leave me alone

Hold me or just let me go

'Cause I've felt this fire for so long

So baby love me, love me

Love me or leave me alone." I stop singing and let the cords take over. I'm trying to not look to the side of the stage. It is taking everything in me not to look at the blonde I know is standing there.

"If we're just playin' along

Then we're just playin' ourselves

And I don't want you to roam

With somebody else

'Cause there's magic between you and I

And I hate this impatience of mine

Love me or leave me alone

Hold me or just let me go

'Cause I've felt this fire for so long

So baby love me, love me

Love me or leave me alone." I sang out softly. I look down at my hands and watch them move on my strings. I am trying to keep my emotions at bay. When I was writing this song, I always made it to this part before the words were too much for me to keep the tears in. I am hoping I can make it through this song without tears while on stage, but I know I will lose the battle. I finally look over at the side of the stage and can see the tears lightly coming down Spencer's face. I look at the crowd and take a deep breath before starting again.

"'Cause we both know that there comes a time

And I hate to sound harsh, or unkind

Love me or leave me alone

Hold me or just let me go

'Cause I've felt this fire for so long

So baby love me, love me

Love me or leave me

Just love me, love me, love me or leave me alone." I finish out the song with tears falling down my face. I almost made it through the whole song, but I got defeated by my emotions. The arena erupted in loud cheers. I smiled out over everyone before taking a bow.

"I hope everyone enjoyed their night. I love you New Orleans. Get home safe." I say then start waving as I walk off stage. I look forward when I get fully off the stage. My eyes meet Spencer's for a second before I look down at the floor and walk around her.

"Please talk to me." Spencer pleads as she steps in front of me and stops me from walking away. I keep my eyes trained on the floor and try to walk around her, but she steps in front of me once again. I sigh. "Please?" She pleads again. I just nod my head and walk to my dressing room. I can hear her footsteps following me. I walk over to my bag and grab it so I can change. I will take a shower back at my room. I quickly change and walk back out to Spencer.

"Let's go back to the hotel. This may take a while and I don't want John to have to wait around." I tell her then grab my things and walk to where we need to meet our driver.

"Did you ladies have a good show?" John asks, trying to break the awkward silence in the car.

"Yeah." Both of us say in unison. We sat in silence the three-minute drive back to the hotel. I watched Spencer out of my peripheral vision as she fidgets next to me. I sigh out. She is making me extremely nervous and anxious. I hate feeling this way. I don't think I am ready to hear her out yet, but I guess we can't stay like this forever. I must get some type of closer. Whether it's forgiving her or talking about it and letting her go. Who am I kidding? I know I will eventually forgive her. It was never about can I forgive her or not. It was when I will forgive her. Yes, I am hurt but it's not enough to let her walk completely out of my life. We make it back to the hotel and Spencer follows me up to my room.

"Do you want something to drink?" I ask as the hotel door closes behind her. "Beer or water?" I ask after her head nods.

"B… Both." Spencer stumbles over the word. I glance at her before grabbing two beers and a water. I hand her the water and beer before taking a seat on the couch. Spencer awkwardly bounces from leg to leg like she doesn't know where to sit. I meet her eyes before looking at the spot next to me then meet her eyes once again. She gets what I am trying to say and sits down a few inches away from me. I open my beer and take a drink. We sit in silence. I'm going to let her talk first since she insisted, we do this now. I have been avoiding her because I knew in person, I would never be able to deny her for having this conversation. There was no avoiding her tonight. I had no other way off the stage. 10 minutes go by and I have already finished my beer as we are still in silence. Spencer hasn't stopped fidgeting. It is starting to drive me crazy. I get up and go grab a couple more beers. If this isn't one of the most awkward situations I have ever been in, I don't know what the word means.

"Are you going to talk or…" I trail off as I sit back down on the couch. I place one of the beers next to me and open the other one. Spencer looks over at me then takes a big gulp of her beer. She has already finished her water.

"I'm sorry." The blonde whispers out as she picks at her beer label. I nod my head but don't verbalize a response. Spencer looks over at me quickly before going back to the beer label. "I…" She pauses taking a deep breath. "I um… I was going to tell you and then I don't know what exactly I got scared of, but I got scared. After a while, I still didn't tell you because as more time went by it scared me to voice it to you because I hadn't told you yet. The thought of you not forgiving me for keeping this from you made fear take over every part of me. I didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel like I didn't trust you. I do Ashley more than I have trusted anyone in my life…"

"You lied to me…"

"I never lied to you." Spencer says cutting me off after I cut her off. I give her a weird look and open my mouth to speak. "I never lied to you. I might not have been completely clear or corrected anyone, but I never lied. I was in a relationship. I never told you it was with a boy or girl. I never referred to Carmen as my 'boyfriend'. In Colorado, you asked me if my boyfriend made me feel a certain way and I told you I've only had feelings for one person. I know you just assumed, and I let you. I take responsibility for that, but I will not take it for being a liar." Spencer rants out. I run every conversation through my head that we have had about her relationship and as far as I can remember she never did specify the gender of her partner.

"What about when I asked you who Carmen is?"

"I have known her since I was in high school. I just kept the extended version from you." Spencer tells me then meets my eyes. I nod my head slightly. I am not sure what I should say right now. "I have always feared change. The thought of coming out to everyone scares me because I don't want things to change. It's the same reason I have been with Carmen for so long. Change terrifies every ounce of me. Us changing scared me even more. I liked how we were before this happened…"

"Change can sometimes bring the best things into your life. Maybe you should've said you feared change and not being naked on stage." I say giggling at the memory of her admittance.

"It's still not funny." Spencer states to me firmly. My giggling turned into laughter.

"Yes, it really is." I say through laugher. Spencer pushes me over.

"You are an ass." Spencer states, shaking her head.

"Okay, okay. But seriously did you ever think in your head the reason why you didn't tell me is because you thought I would out you?" I asked meeting her eyes, so she knew this wasn't a laughing matter anymore.

"No." Spencer declares quickly without having to think about it. That does make me feel a little bit better.

"Over the past two weeks I have had many questions run through my head. That was the main one that tore me apart thinking you thought I would out you. I hoped you never had and most of me felt you never did but it just kept popping back in my head. I needed to know." I admit softly.

"Me not telling you never had to do with you. It was always about the fears I have within myself. I knew I could trust you with it. I knew if I told you, you would be okay with it…" Spencer paused and looked down. "Well, you wouldn't have been okay with Carmen…"

"She's a fucking ass and very disrespectful." I say cutting Spencer off. Spencer smiled at me with a giggle.

"I know."

"I know you said you hate change but why are you still with her?" I ask hesitantly, not sure if I really want the answer.

"I'm not. I broke up with her after you left the dinner. I should be scared…" Spencer trails off.

"Of what?" I question. I move to the edge of the couch, I put my hand lightly under her chin and move her head to look at me.

"She told me; I would regret leaving her. I want, when I am ready, to come out on my own terms and not someone else's. I am scared that is how she is going to get at me for breaking up with her." Spencer says sadly with a couple tears falling from her eyes. I reach up and wipe them off before pulling her into a tight hug. The blonde settles into my neck and wraps her arms around my waist. "I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry for not telling you. I'm sorry I hid one of the most important parts of myself from you." Spencer cries out into my neck.

"We will be fine Princess." I whisper into her head before kissing it. "I missed you too."

"God, it feels so good to hear you call me that." She whispers. I smile into her head and continue to hold her. "Wait?" Spencer jumps back out of my arms. I look at her confused.

"What's wrong?"

"Didn't the buses leave tonight?"

"Yeah they did. After the show. Mississippi Coliseum is not even three hours from here, so I told John when we got here that we are staying until check out at 11. I wasn't expecting you and I am guessing your stuff is already on the bus. So, you can borrow clothes to sleep in."

"That is probably why Glen was blowing me up a couple hours ago." Spencer says then looks deep in thought. I start laughing at her realization. Spencer turns and looks at me with an eyebrow raised. "What's so funny?" She questions as I turn my laugh into a giggle.

"Now that I've fully thought about it…" I paused. "It's really not that funny. They just left you. Wow." I gasp out.

"Of course, they did. I swear Glen acts like this is his tour or something."

"Maybe you need to teach him who's boss. I think he forgot." I tell her giggling once again.

"I am leaving him in L.A when we go back after Nashville. He hasn't done shit. He can work from L.A if I end up needing something." Spencer admits with a smile.

"That means Kyla is going to want to stay in L.A also. I swear they are tied at the hip. I'm surprised she wasn't at your family dinner."

"Glen said it was only because she had to deal with some stuff from the label. I don't know. He didn't go into detail and I didn't really care." Spencer says before sitting back into the couch. I lean back and pick my beer back up and finish it off before going to switch my now warm one for a cold one.

"Want another beer?" I yell out just loud enough for her to hear. I hear a 'yeah' back. "So, you happy about our break before the hecticness of New York? We have a busy schedule. What? We are there a week, right?" I question the last part not completely sure about it. I know we have 2 concerts back to back. We have 3 radio interviews and 4 tv interviews. We are doing a photo shoot with the four of us, then just Spence and I, and then just ourselves.

"Our first show is on the 29th and 30th in New York. Our next show is on the 6th…" Spencer pauses thinking further. "Yeah, a week." Spencer adds finally answering my question. I smile over at her.

"Well, it's almost 3. Let's go to sleep. We have a show tomorrow night and two more the following nights. We need to be refreshed." I tell her then stand up. I start walking towards my room before I realize Spencer hasn't moved yet. I turn around and look at her. "Come on Princess. Let's not make this weird. Both of us know you haven't slept good without me. Trust me, I haven't either so let's go." I declare. Spencer sits there for several more moments thinking before she finally gets up and moves towards me. I hand her some clothes to sleep in and point her to the bathroom door. After getting changed and doing my nightly routine, I climb into bed. Spencer stood on the opposite side staring at the sheets. Why is she being so weird?

"I…" The blonde shyly starts but then stops. "I…" She tries again.

"Spence, you were gay before I just didn't know. It doesn't change anything. Get into the bed. You are making me uncomfortable and making me feel incredibly awkward. Stop it." I tell her sternly and point at the empty spot next to me.

"Sorry." Spencer mumbles out before climbing onto the bed. I turn out the light before making myself comfortable facing her. As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I can see Spencer tossing and turning rather than just hearing and feeling the bed move under me.

"Princess if you don't stop moving…" I warn out before stopping. Spencer stopped moving and let out a long loud sigh. "What is wrong?" I question.

"N-N-nothing." Spencer stammers out.

"Right, like I believe that. Come here." I say quietly before taking her left hand and pulling her towards me. Spencer's back is now pressed into my front. I wrap my arm around her stomach while the other is under my pillow. "Goodnight Princess." I whisper into the back of her neck. Spencer finally relaxes and whispers a goodnight. I know we have more to talk about but for now I have enough answers to know we will be okay.

"Ash?" Spencer whispers breaking me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"You still awake?"

"No, I answer you while I'm sleeping. You didn't know?" I say with a light giggle.

" .HA." Spencer mocks out. I giggle a little more.

"What's wrong?" I question.

"I just really missed you. That song was amazing." Spencer whispers out so low I barely hear her.

"We can finish talking about everything tomorrow on our way to Mississippi. Goodnight Princess." I tell her then kiss the back of her head. I loosen my hold on Spencer when I feel her start to turn in my arms. Spencer cuddles her face into my neck. She pulls me closer to her by wrapping an arm around my waist.

"I'm still sorry. I hope you know that. Goodnight, Ash." Spencer adds before relaxing once again and falling into a fast sleep.

"I know." I whisper out to nobody. Spencer breathing as already evened out letting me know she is out like a light.