Over the next couple of days, however much he tried, Steve could not shake the vivid dream he had had during the night. He might have been present at AC-12 but his mind was completely elsewhere. He had been deliriously happy in his dreamworld, unlike the state of his real life and he needed that to change.
He came to realise that he wanted everything he had had in his dream. Marriage and a family. Growing up, he'd had a good role model for a father and now he wanted to try and replicate that with his own children. The trouble was that he could only picture himself doing that with Kate beside him.
He had tried calling her again, several times since her last visit but she had not answered. He couldn't blame her after he'd accused her of sleeping around. As if on cue, his phone beeped. He picked it up and looked at the message. It was from Kate but not like her usual messages to him in the past. This was unusually brief and unemotional. Appointment booked for 3pm today. He looked at his watch. It was 2pm. She'd obviously left it until the last possible moment to inform him. His dream was rapidly about to slip from his grasp forever and remain an impossible achievement. His first try at being a good father was rather spectacularly imploding before his eyes.
He had to do something, but what? When they had been best friends he had felt as if they would always succeed at anything they tried as long as they did it together. Surely that would include co-parenting their child? If he could convince her to give their friendship another go it might be possible to at least try. It might not be the most conventional method of raising a child but it would be so loved by both its parents and that was the most important thing.
"DS Arnott!" Boomed Ted Hastings' voice across the AC-12 work space, causing Steve to jump in his seat. "Any chance of you actually doing any work today instead of staring listlessly off into space?".
Steve looked at his watch. Two fifteen. He had to at least give his idea a try, he thought to himself. If he put his foot down he might make it. "Sorry Sir," replied Steve as he got up out of his seat. "I've got to go and find Kate," he said as he ran to the lift to take him down to the car park.
"Kate?" Asked Chloe although Steve was too far away to hear or answer She hadn't heard Steve mention that name before in relation to the case they were on and started looking through the files in front of her to try and discover what it was she had missed. Was she a new witness?
To Ted however, it made more sense. He could see that Steve was struggling since Kate had left. He hoped that this would change things for the better. "His previous partner," explained Ted, before stepping into his office and shutting the door.
"Kate! Please pick up," Steve said into his phone as he ran to his car. He had dialled Kate's number and only succeeded in her getting her answer phone again. "We need to talk. Call me. Please" he begged before hanging up and concentrating on his driving.
Unfortunately traffic was a complete nightmare and by the time Steve found a space near the clinic it was three thirty. He'd left close to fifty messages on Kate's phone asking her to call him but he'd heard nothing.
Angry at everything for making him so late, Steve got out the car and headed to the clinic. Before he stepped inside he saw Kate sat on a bench outside. As he got closer, he could see she was in floods of tears. That wasn't a good sign he thought to himself. He had rarely if ever seen her cry. "Hi," he said as he awkwardly stood before her. She didn't reply to his greeting. "Have you….?" the question dying on his lips as he couldn't quite find the words to ask.
"I'm sorry," Kate eventually said through her tears and Steve's heart broke. He was too fucking late. The little girl from his dream and he and Kate happily together, gone forever. If only he had had the courage to tell her what he wanted before now. "I couldn't go in," Kate continued.
Steve's heart lurched. "You're still…?" He asked, again not able to get the whole question out. Kate nodded.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't go through with it. Couldn't even walk into the building this time," she said, bracing herself for another fight.
"Thank Christ," Steve said with immense relief as he sank into the seat next to her.
"You're not angry?" Kate asked as she wiped her tears. She had expected him to go ballistic at the news.
"I've been a complete knob," Steve said. "I drove over here to convince you not to do it and the traffic was really bad so I only just got here now. I've left so many messages for you and then when I saw you sat out here I thought I was too late,".
"I thought you wanted me to do it,".
"Please can you try and forget everything I said the other day? I was in shock. It's not every day your best friend tells you she's pregnant with your baby,".
Kate smiled. "Am I still your best friend?" She asked as she tried to stop crying.
Steve nudged her gently with his shoulder. "Always," he admitted.
"Can I have a hug then?" She asked hesitantly before Steve's arms engulfed her. She held on to Steve as tightly as he was holding her as their bad feelings towards each other evaporated. Their argument forgotten. "I've missed you so much," she mumbled into his ear.
"Likewise," Steve repeated. They stayed wrapped in each other's arms for a while, making up for two months of missed hugs, until they gradually released their hold on each other. "Kate, let's get out of here," Steve suggested and she willingly agreed.
They headed to a coffee shop so they could have a much needed talk to clear the air. "What would you like?" Steve asked as he joined the back of the order queue.
"Ginger tea please," was Kate's reply.
Steve pulled a face. "Since when do you drink that?" Steve asked. In all the time he had known her, Kate had never requested that before. Coffee or breakfast tea were her favourites. MIT had obviously changed her.
"Since I got pregnant," Kate answered.
"Oops. Sorry. That was a stupid question," Steve admitted sheepishly. It was actually him that had changed her, not MIT.
"It helps keep the morning sickness at bay,".
"Has it been bad?" Steve asked concerned.
"Not really," Kate informed him. "Didn't start until I was about eight weeks. It was what made me realise you'd successfully knocked me up after your one and only try," she teased.
"The armoury do often comment that I have good aim," Steve bragged jokily, pleased that the ease of their friendship was quickly returning. He saw Kate roll her eyes as he boasted about his virility. "Go find us a seat. Your ginger tea will be with you shortly,".
"Thanks," Kate replied before she wandered off. Steve watched as she found them a quiet table, a little way off from the rest of the customers.
"So we're going to have a baby then?" Steve asked a little while later as he placed their drinks on the table, removed his jacket and took his seat opposite Kate.
"Looks like it," Kate said as she reached for her drink. "Please don't change your mind again. I can't book a third appointment. They'll think I'm crazy!". Steve smiled. He wasn't going to change his mind.
"No one else I'd rather do this with," Steve said, and Kate knew he was being honest.
"Better go back to the GP then, and get myself booked in for some antenatal care. I'm nearly due my twelve week scan," Kate explained. "You wanna be there?".
"Of course I want to," Steve admitted truthfully. He was going to support Kate every step of this journey.
"And then if everything's ok with the baby, I suppose we start telling people," Kate suggested. "I'm going to start showing soon," she continued as she gave her abdomen a rub. She could feel a slight swell there already. "How do you think your parents will take the news?".
"Mum will be over the moon," Steve said. "I suppose I'll have to introduce you to her fairly soon,".
"Might be an idea," Kate teased. "I'm going to have to tell DCI Davidson her new DI is up the duff. Not sure she's going to be totally thrilled with the news,".
"Good luck with that," Steve said smugly as he blew on his latte, pleased it wasn't him having to do that job.
"Don't know what you're smiling about," Kate retorted. "You're going to have to tell the Gaffer that we're having a baby together," she reminded Steve, wiping the smile off his face. "Good luck with that!" She said, tapping his hand in mock sympathy.
"So how are we going to do this?" Steve asked.
Over a couple more drinks they talked over several different scenarios and ended up deciding that Kate would be the main care giver for their baby for the first couple of months. Steve would be able to visit any time. As their child got older Steve would take a much more active role until they were sharing joint custody.
It wasn't really what either of them wanted but were too scared to rock the boat with their recent truce. Steve didn't quite hide his disappointment as well as he thought he had. "You ok?" Kate asked. "You don't seem particularly happy with what we decided,".
"No. I am," he retorted, although not very convincingly and he knew it. "Ok. I'm not," he conceded. "Sorry,".
"It's ok," Kate reassured. "What can we change for you to be happy?".
"I suppose I don't want to miss out on anything," Steve admitted. "This might be my only chance at being a father and I don't want to miss the first smile, the first word, the first steps,".
"For that to happen we'd have to be living together, Steve," Kate reasoned. "We'd have to get a house and a big house at that. Three bedrooms at least. One for each of us and the baby,".
"What if we shared a bedroom?" Steve cut in and stopped Kate in her train of thought.
"I'm not quite sure what you're suggesting?" She admitted.
"You and me as something more than friends,".
Kate sat back against the back of the wooden chair she was sat on. Steve's admission had completely floored her. "But I thought you didn't want that,".
"Well you thought wrong,".
Kate knew they were finally going to talk about the night they had spent together. The night they had created the life currently residing in her. She wanted to choose her words carefully as she didn't want to get into an argument about such a topic in such a public place.
"I'm really confused. We spent the night together. I thought that we both had a good time. That it both had meant something important to us. At the risk of inflating your ego quite considerably, it was probably the best night of my life…Until I woke up alone. It really hurt Steve. And to make it worse I haven't heard from you since. You just shagged me and left, like one of your one night stands. I've spent the last two months trying to get over you. And now you tell me this,".
"I'm so sorry, Kate," Steve said as he reached over the table and squeezed Kate's hand.
"I just need to know one thing. Why did you leave in the middle of the night and not say good bye?".
"I was ashamed," Steve finally admitted.
"Because you'd slept with me?".
"God no!" Steve replied immediately, trying to alleviate Kate's fear. "Definitely not that," he repeated. "For the record, it was probably the best night of my life as well. I was more ashamed about how it happened. As I lay there afterwards I realised I'd sort of pushed myself on to you. Hadn't really checked you were ok with it before…..proceeding. You deserved better,".
Kate leant forward and rested her head in her hands as she gazed at the table top. She'd been fretting that she'd done something wrong or had been rubbish in bed and it was in fact all because he didn't think she consented! She finally looked Steve in the eye. "You're an idiot," she pronounced as she shook her head. "What part of that night did you think I didn't consent to?" She asked. Steve was silent as he realised the massive mistake he'd made. "You know me," Kate continued. "If I didn't want it, I would have kicked you in the testicles, best mate or not!" She told him. "You might be slightly taller than me, but I can still reach them with my foot!".
Steve winced as he imagined the pain she would cause. The slap to his cheek had been bad enough. "So I didn't force myself on you?".
"No. I was a willing participant," Kate informed him.
"Oh…. I've fucked up big time, haven't I?".
"You could say that," Kate agreed although she wasn't mad.
"But it's not totally unforgivable is it?" He asked hopefully before laying his heart on the line. "I would really like to try being in a relationship with you,".
Kate paused as she gathered her thoughts. "I'm not saying no, Steve, but I'm not saying yes either,". She saw him look crest fallen. "Not right now any way," she clarified. "We're only just talking to each other again. We have a lot of work to do in order to get our friendship back on track and that's what we should be concentrating on at the moment. Without being firm friends first, I don't see how we could work as a couple. How about we review things in a little while?".
"I can live with that," Steve agreed, happy it hadn't been a complete knock back. He would just pull out all the stops to become her friend again and prove to her how much she meant to him.
"Good," Kate said, happy that they had had a sensible discussion without descending into a fight. "Promise me something?" She continued, changing topic to something else that was bothering her.
"What?".
"You'll get your back looked at," Kate said. "I saw all the pain killers in your kitchen the other day. I'm worried about you,".
"I will," promised Steve. He had a good reason to now. He wanted to be able to chase his child around. Play football with them. "To be honest, it feels much better already now we are talking again," he admitted. "You're like a natural painkiller,".
"That is possibly the most nobbiest thing you've ever said," Kate said laughing.
"But it's true. Everything's better now we are talking again," Steve revealed and Kate sort of knew what he meant.
They looked around and saw that they were the last ones in the shop. Steve looked at his watch. They'd been talking for two hours. The staff were busy clearing up before shutting shop for the day.
"Fancy a curry?" Steve asked, knowing how much they had enjoyed them as partners, until a thought hit him. "Unless of course you can't, because of the baby,".
"Funnily enough, I think the baby likes curry," Kate informed him. "Just as well really with us for parents. I'm getting frequent cravings for curry. Really spicy ones,".
"Well in that case, two vindaloo's coming up!".
