- Chapter 38 -
Legolas stared at the report before him but even though his eyes were scanning the contents of the page, he hardly recalled what it said. The lamps flickered with the shift of the breeze, making shadows dance around the space. Once again he found himself alone in his tent, and though he longed to disappear to his quarters for rest, they were far from being ready to pack up camp and head back home; which meant late nights and even longer hours. Rubbing his eyes, he once again tried to make sense of the report he held but found he could not focus.
Sighing, he let it fall back to the table and leaned back in his chair. His mind constantly drifted to earlier that afternoon to a pair of wide blue eyes and flowing white hair. Her depressed state had him irked the entire afternoon after she left his tent, and he had barely been able to focus on the marchwardens reports, nor anyone else's for that matter. No one seemed to notice though, and if Sidhel caught on to the Prince's bad mood he never said anything.
Leaning his elbows on the table, he ran his hands over his face and sighed heavily again.
"I can sense your frustration all the way across camp," a voice said. He knew the voice and did not have to look up to know who it was, but did so regardless.
Thranduil's eyes drifted across the hunched over frame of his son before stepping into the tent. No guards followed him, which was mildly surprising, and as the King pulled the chair out from the table Sidhel had just recently occupied, he sank onto the seat with fluid gracefulness. Crossing one knee over the other, he folded his hands in his lap and looked at his son expectantly.
"I was just going to bring you my latest report," Legolas said, and gestured to the page he just held.
"It is not the report I was seeking," the King said mildly.
"What is it I can do for you, Adar?"
"First you can explain what is troubling you so. As I said, I could feel your frustration clear across camp."
"You came to discuss my troubles?" Legolas asked with a frown. "I think it is fair to say my troubles are laid bare in my reports."
"The reports I have read and I share the same concern and disappointment, however, it is not the reports I wish to discuss."
Legolas leaned back in his seat and his mouth formed a hard line. Now he knew what his father was looking for. "I am not sure I wish to discuss those troubles right now."
"Perhaps not, but our job at the present moment in time is to ensure the wellbeing of our kin, and we can hardly do that when such heavy thoughts weigh upon your shoulders."
Legolas shook his head and a muscle twitched in his jaw. There would be no getting around this conversation, he knew that, but still it was irritating.
"This is not how I thought it would go. This is not what I thought bonding would be like," he admitted, and Thranduil's chin rose slightly.
"Sometimes things do not always come at us the way we hoped."
"The way you and Naneth were," he shook his head again slowly. "I have a hard time seeing that for us."
"Your mother and I bonded at first sight. Neither of us were ready, nor did we honestly like each other much, but the more we got to know each other, the harder it became to ignore the bonds."
"She will return to Rivendell; Mithrandir and the hobbit are planning on traveling back after the funeral of the dwarf. She is to go with them. It will be difficult to get to know her at such a distance."
Thranduil nodded. "Yes, but you cannot lose faith. You bonded with her for a reason, and she cannot ignore that either. Ever will you always be drawn to each other."
Legolas pondered his father's words quietly while his father stood and poured the two of them goblets of wine from the side table. Setting one down in front of his son, he sank back onto the chair.
"I heard there was an altercation earlier involving Shyloh, Sidhel, and Iamben," Thranduil said casually.
Legolas' eyes darkened and he nodded. "Yes, Arossel came to fetch me before it escalated."
"And?"
He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. "Iamben said something to her and it only made her distressed. I tried talking to her about it but she refused to say much. I can't help but feel I only made it worse."
Thranduil sipped his wine slowly and thoughtfully. "You can feel she is distressed?"
Legolas waved a hand casually in the air. "I don't know how to describe it. I can feel and sense your mood just like you can sense mine when you are close by me, or even far away. At first I thought it was just my imagination but I have this depressed feeling inside my head that I cannot shake, and I cannot tell if it's mine or..."
Thranduil lowered his goblet slowly and stared intently at his son. "You are already feeling her emotions," he said quietly.
Running a hand over his face, Legolas pinched his eyes closed briefly.
"You two will have a strong connection."
Silence filled the tent then, while each ellon was cast into his own thoughts. Sipping his wine, Legolas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Being linked to her so quickly was a little overwhelming.
"I do not think I made anything better earlier. I've only felt more depressed since."
"Did Sidhel mention the conversation?"
Legolas nodded, then recanted the argument between the ellons, being sure to repeat it just as Sidhel explained it earlier.
"That would explain her depressed mood."
"Any conversation with Iamben would leave someone distressed," Legolas snipped and Thranduil raised his eyebrows.
"He is suspicious of outsiders, that is nothing new."
"Irregardless, he had no right to say what he did to her. Or to Sidhel for that matter." It wasn't hard to recall the thunderous expressions on either ellon earlier, but then he recalled the moment Iamben's eyes flashed when Shyloh and Legolas had been so close together. "Does Iamben know about Shyloh and I? Does he know we are soulmates?"
The King crossed one knee over the other and took another sip of wine. "I fear I may have given him the impression you two were...invested. As far as whether he knows you bonded or not, I cannot say. I did not say it to him, but I was perhaps rather abrupt with the dismissal of his proposal of your marriage to Lastril."
"You know Adar, we are going to have to find you a new form of entertainment. Preferably not at my expense this time."
Amusement flashed briefly in the King's eyes but it quickly dissipated. "I would not be surprised if he pieced the puzzle together on his own, but I do not think it should make a difference even if he does know. It is not something you two can keep a secret forever. If it has not already spread around, it will soon."
"Sidhel knows, as does Nodron, Ganir, Tinnion, and Eithrian. I did mention it to Tauriel on our travel together, plus it appears Galdiron also knows, though I can think of someone who might have confided in him."
"The list is getting rather long," Thranduil said innocently.
Legolas was not surprised the King had told his old friend, and would have actually been astonished if he hadn't. The healer would not have spoken a word of it though, and he knew that Sidhel found out through Iamben.
"I do not expect it to stay a secret forever."
"Nor will it."
"I do not trust Iamben near her," admitted Legolas.
"No."
"Perhaps it will be best she returns to Rivendell. Then she will be away from whatever it is he is looking for."
"He will learn his place quick enough. My patience has already been stretched thin where he is concerned."
"As is mine." Legolas almost smiled as a thought crossed his mind. "She said you grounded her."
A less than amused look crossed Thranduil's face. "She is lucky that is all I did."
"He is supposed to meet with me shortly to discuss his list of concerns."
"Perhaps I shall stick around."
"You are more than welcome to."
Sunlight reflected off the smooth stone of the carved mountain. Despite being half demolished from the dragon, it was surprisingly still impressive. She snapped her mouth closed when she realized she was gaping, and Gandalf chuckled lightly.
"Shall we?" he asked, then nudged his horse forward. Shyloh followed and together the two of them rode towards the front gates of Erebor at a gentle walk.
They were in no hurry it seemed, and Shyloh wondered if the wizard was taking his time on purpose or not. Either way, she was glad to be out from under the constant shadow of the city and the guards that flanked her every step.
As they got closer to the mountain, she felt her excitement ebb away only to be replaced by nerves. The dwarves from the Iron Hills eyed the riders suspiciously but she realized Gandalf probably held more sway with them due to the fact he was a wizard, unlike her. Nope, she was an elf and that meant she received plenty of glares during their slow walk to the front gates.
Gandalf gave her a reassuring smile but even she could tell he was tense. She hadn't seen the dwarves – aside from a few moments in battle – since their separation in Mirkwood. She had no idea why Thorin would want to see her, and her nervousness grew. Bilbo had been welcomed to the mountain and she could clearly see his small frame next to the dwarves that stood waiting under the gate.
It seemed like Thorin and their entire company were gathered to greet them. Well, almost all of them. Fili was clearly missing as was Kili, and her heart ached. The entire company aside from Fili had survived the battle much to her relief, but the thought of losing even one of them was like a dagger to the heart. She'd grown so fond of them during their travels and dwarves or not, she valued them, even if they didn't hold her in the same regard.
Gandalf must have sensed her unease, because he gave her a sympathetic smile.
"Do not fret dear elf," he said quietly. "All will be well."
She nodded slowly but still, despite Gandalf's reassuring words, she did not feel very reassured. What would Thorin want to speak with her about? Did he want to clear the air? Apologize? Tell her he never wanted to see her again? She did save his life, didn't that count for something?
She would find out soon enough. Dismounting, her boots hit the ground lightly. Two dwarves came to claim the horses and Gandalf led her over the broken bridge, stopping just in front of the entire company.
Some of them had serious faces, like Dwalin, who she figured never smiled at all. Thorin's face was expressionless, while others looked somber, some smiled, and some she couldn't even read. A big, burly red haired dwarf stood off to Thorin's left, his beady little eyes turned into slits at the sight of her. Straightening, she squared her shoulders.
"Welcome to Erebor," Thorin said with a straight face.
Gandalf bowed so Shyloh did the same. Thorin was a King after all.
His face twisted into an uncomfortable grimace. "You do not need to bow," Thorin said, looking at the two of them. "Not to me."
The burly dwarf to Thorin's left scowled at that announcement but said nothing. She didn't know who he was, but the shape of his nose and face looked much like Thorin's. Perhaps they were related.
"Thank you for the invite," she said as calmly as possible. The last time Thorin spoke to her he'd basically called her a traitor and liar, even if he hadn't used those words outright.
He bowed his head in reply. "Would you like to see Erebor?"
Looking to Gandalf, the wizard inclined his head just the slightest so she turned back to Thorin. "We would love to."
A tight smile graced his face and then they were being swept under the gates and inside the mountain. It was like nothing she had ever seen before and she couldn't help but let her eyes wander. All around, dwarves were already at work. Many of their wounded had been brought inside the mountain for treatment, and while many were being tended to, other dwarves were hard at work clearing rubble and making paths.
The company flanked Gandalf and Shyloh, and Bofur gave her a wide smile she couldn't help but return. They made their way deeper into the mountain away from the bustling gates and Shyloh couldn't believe her eyes. The carved detail of the stonework was like nothing she'd ever seen before, and for the next hour Thorin and the company showed the two of them around. Gandalf seemed far more interested in certain areas, and when they came to the throne room he and the others drifted off to other rooms while Thorin asked to speak with Shyloh privately.
Gandalf didn't seem to think there was any harm leaving the two of them alone, but she knew if Thranduil had been here their private conversation would have been completely out of the question. It made sense the Elvenking would be protective, after all, she was his son's soulmate, but she was finding the constant watch over her to be a little suffocating and overwhelming at times.
"I do not even know how to begin telling you what it is I want to say," Thorin said quietly as the two of them walked down a long, wide, carved stone bridge. It crossed from one side of the throne room to the other and literally had nothing underneath for quite a ways. She hated heights, and the bridges were a bit too much for her liking, but she sucked it up, and stuck to the middle.
She sucked in a breath and held it until they reached the other side of the bridge.
"There are no words in Westron or dwarvish that will be enough to tell you how sorry I am for my behavior. The way I treated you, how I talked to you, it was beyond inexcusable."
"It's okay," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"No, it's -,"
"It's okay," she repeated firmly. "I know why you said what you did in Mirkwood."
"What do you mean, you know?" he asked, his brows furrowing together in confusion.
"I figured it out."
"How?"
She sighed. "When Bilbo brought the Arkenstone to Thranduil's tent the night before the battle, he and I talked afterwards for a little bit, and he told me what happened after you guys escaped Mirkwood. He told me how you wished I could have been there to see Erebor, especially after Smaug was killed."
"You know that I did it on purpose?"
She nodded. "I have a feeling Gandalf was partly behind it, which means if he was involved then somehow my uncle must have been too."
His eyes widened in surprise.
"I do not give elves enough credit it seems," he said, and ran his hand over his face.
She laughed softly. "No, you certainly do not."
"But still," he said, growing a little more serious. "You deserved better than I gave you. When Gandalf told me you were not to go past Mirkwood, I argued with him for many days. You were already invested in the journey and we needed all the help we could get. Gandalf was going to explain everything and take you to the Woodland Realm to stay safe but when he left the plan changed. I'd like to blame a lot of it on the enchantments of the woods but I fear I can only blame myself. Please forgive me."
"You're forgiven," she said, and for the first time that day, a smile crept over her face.
"You saved my life," he said suddenly. "I did not deserve what you did for me, and I do not know how to thank you, much less repay you."
"I do not ask for anything," she said quietly. "I'd like to think that's what friends do for each other."
"I would like to consider you a good friend," he said, slightly surprising her.
"Same here," she said. "Friends?"
"Friends," he confirmed and her smile grew.
She hesitated and bit her lip, unsure if she should dampen the suddenly light conversation but she couldn't really avoid it. He could sense her hesitancy and stopped walking so he could face her.
"Are you okay?" she asked. She fidgeted with her hands, wringing her fingers together and watched his face fall in sorrow.
"Fili will be missed deeply," he sighed, then slowly started walking again with his hands clasped behind his back; eyes trailing the ground. "I do not know how I will tell my sister the news. Before we left, she made me promise to send her son's home to her. I have failed, not with one, but I fear with both."
She frowned. "Thorin, where is Kili?"
He gave a dry laugh. "He has obviously felt the loss of his brother the most. They've been inseparable since they were little. I did not want to bring either of them along, but they begged and we needed as many as we could gather. He is grieving with the company of the elf."
She blinked in confusion. "What elf?"
He raised his eyebrows but he didn't look overly excited. "The redheaded she-elf that rode with the Elvenking's son. They saved four of our company that were left behind in Lake-town." He continued to explain the events that occurred after their escape from Mirkwood, and Shyloh listened carefully as he talked.
She frowned and scrunched her face up. "So, let me get this straight...Kili and Tauriel are...together?"
He grimaced unhappily. "It appears so."
"So," she hesitated again, attempting to let that bit of information sink in. "What happens now?"
He sighed and rubbed his face. "It is not something we exactly know how to deal with," he said, and she could clearly hear the displeasure in his voice. "He is my only living heir, and would not be able to rule with an elf by his side."
She crossed her arms unhappily. "You got a thing against elves?" she tried to joke but despite the corners of his mouth twitching he didn't look overly amused.
"I have never heard of a union like theirs before."
"I'm not sure anyone ever has."
"I am not even sure how to feel about it. It is no secret our people don't get along."
"Perhaps this will be the start of something new. Maybe this will be a good thing?"
He looked at her doubtfully. "I do not foresee unions like theirs becoming very popular."
She shrugged. "Well, I guess you never know? I mean, you never know when you're going to meet that one person right? It could just...happen at anytime."
He gave her a suspicious look. "Would you care to speak about something?"
Taken aback, she shook her head. "Nope."
"Perhaps something happened during your time with the wood-elves?"
She shook her head again and said quickly, "Nope."
"It's the King's son, isn't it?"
She spun around so fast it startled him. "Gandalf told you didn't he!"
Thorin actually had the nerve to chuckle and she was tempted to reach a hand out to smack him. Of course she'd confided in the wizard, how could she not when he'd pestered her about it over supper last night. But he'd been the only one she told, and didn't have him pegged for a gossiper.
"The wizard said nothing, but said perhaps you would be a frequent visitor to Mirkwood, and that we might expect to see you occasionally."
"He did, did he?" she growled.
"You care to explain what he means?"
Balling her hands into fists, she felt the irritation bubble inside her. Did everyone have to know?
Sighing heavily, she figured he might as well know, and slowly explained her current predicament with the Prince. He listened quietly, but she could clearly see an amused spark in his eye, and it only made her feel more irritated.
"So it seems we will be seeing you more than I thought. That is, if you are allowed to travel to visit us. I would be disappointed if you did not show your face around here, but I would understand, especially after everything that has happened. We are not overly friendly with the local elves, if you catch my drift."
"I don't even know if I'm going to be visiting Mirkwood, but I'd like to come back and visit you goons again. I don't know how to figure this whole 'bonding' thing out, but I think it's going to take time."
He nodded. "If he turns out to be a dud, we could hide his body somewhere. The caves are fairly vast here."
This time she did smack him, but he only laughed.
"You're lucky I forgive so quickly," she said and he raised an eyebrow.
"Oh?"
"I had every intention of burying you all thirty feet deep and pummeling you with a baseball bat."
He laughed then frowned in amused confusion. "What's a baseball bat?"
"Wow," she breathed.
Crossing her arms, she gaped at the view before her. Mounds and mounds of gold sparkled in the torchlight below them. Never in her life could she have ever believed what she was seeing. It weirdly reminded her of the cave in the movie Aladdin, except there was no strange sand lion creature guarding it.
Thorin looked down at it sadly and crossed his arms over his chest too.
"That's a lot of gold," she muttered, and he nodded his head slowly. "What exactly do you plan to do with it all?"
He gave a dry laugh. "Some will go to each member of the company; their proper share of the treasure you see. Some will go to Dale to help them rebuild, some to pay for supplies to be brought in to help us rebuild our lives here. I think it will be put to good use."
She nodded. "That sounds like a good plan. And the Arkenstone?"
His face tightened a little. "It has been returned as promised in exchange for what we offered the Lakemen, as have the elven gems."
"Good," was all she said.
"You know," he hesitated. "In case you didn't realize, I never officially dismissed you from the company."
Twisting to look at him, she eyed him with a frown. "It sure sounded like it."
He tried to smile but it came out like a grimace. "If you had read the contract fully, you would have noticed the part near the bottom saying that one may only be dismissed from the company if those specific words are used. A little ingenuity on Balin's part; he gets all the credit for that."
"So," she frowned in confusion. "I'm not actually dismissed from the company?"
"No."
"So what does that mean then? What happens now?"
"We would be honored if you would rejoin us here in the mountain, but we understand if that would cause issues with the elves."
She grimaced. "Yeah, I don't think they would like that too much."
"I thought so. They seem overly protective of you."
"They are," she groaned. "But I appreciate the offer, honestly, I do."
"It is the least we can do," he said and they started walking up the many stairs. "You are still entitled to your share of the treasure."
"My share?" she said wide eyed. "I didn't realize I got a share."
He laughed. "You really should have read that contract better."
Frowning, she scrunched her face up. "I guess I should have actually read it to begin with. For all I know, it could have said I was offering myself up as a human sacrifice."
"No, we took that part out."
She had to laugh at that and rolled her eyes. "Very funny."
"What do you plan on doing with your share of the treasure?" he asked casually but she shrugged.
"Considering the fact I didn't even know I had a share, I'm not sure. Just how much is it I get?"
"One fifteenth of what is down there."
"Yikes," she exclaimed. "Now I really have no idea. What does someone do with all that?"
He shrugged. "That is up to you."
"Honestly, it's way too much Thorin. Perhaps the people of Dale will need it more than I?"
"The people of Dale will be well taken care of."
Shoulders slumping, she really had no idea.
"How about this," offered Thorin. "You can keep your share here and take what you want with you when you leave. If anything, it will give you a good excuse to come and visit us."
Nodding, she figured that would probably be the best and agreed to his offer.
Gandalf was waiting at the top of the stairs and they sat for a while as a group, talking about Fili and the upcoming funeral in two days. They would have waited for Thorin's sister Dis to arrive, naturally, considering she was Fili's mother, but it could take many weeks before news reached her and before she would arrive in Erebor.
Tears pricked the corners of her eyes but she blinked them away before any could fall down her cheeks.
Poor Fili. Poor Kili.
"Tell me though," Balin said thoughtfully after they recanted different parts of the battle. "How did you manage to break your sword?"
She shrugged and shook her head. "Um...I'm not exactly sure," she admitted.
"You killed Azog, and managed to break your elvish blade," said Thorin. "You are quite the elf, Azinlaz."
She raised her eyebrows. "Azinlaz? Is that the secret dwarf word for Snowball?"
Thorin smirked then shook his head. "That is what we have been calling you, aside from Snowball."
"More nicknames?" she asked, but he shook his head again.
"No, a real name this time: Azinlaz."
"Lady of Starlight," Balin said, and for a little bit she forgot about all her other problems.
Dwarvish:
Azbad - Lady
Zinlaz - Star
Az - indicates a 'feminine' word
I mashed all three together to create her name. Guess it kinda worked out in my favor though it took a bit to get it to fit right. Roughly translated, Azinlaz means "Lady Star" but it sounded a little silly as a definition so I turned it into "Lady of Starlight".
"Manan" means day or light in dwarf but it didn't really flow into it properly. I could have kept tweaking but Azinlaz just stuck.
Welcome new followers, thanks for joining Shyloh on her adventure. Thank you for the messages and reviews, as always, they are appreciated. It's good to know your enjoying the story.
-S
