Takes place during "The Lost Clan"

xxXxx

Johanna knew about her son's...situation. She knew that he was partially not her son and she didn't mind it, he was still her son.

How she knew? Well, It all started years ago when Hilbert and Hilda were just babies.

Hilbert's odd behavior worried Johanna, a lot. He always tried to avoid her, to get as far away from her as possible.

She, for a while, even believed that he might've been possessed or something which wasn't too far off the mark.

Her first reaction was to ask someone close; that person ended up being Woodman. He told her about the possibility of her son being an old soul.

Hearing that, she became confused. What was she supposed to do? Act like her baby not being a baby was normal and sweep it under the rug? She couldn't. She even grew terrified of him for a while.

Until she met an old witch called Tildy. Tildy used her magic to show Johanna Hilbert's memories, revealing the fact that he was 12 years old in mind.

But it was his story that made her understand why Hilbert tried pushing her away. It was his parents.

Hilbert's original parents were...very negligent. Although the two were married by their own volition, they were forced to have a kid together by of an elder relative

Focusing on their work, the two gave their child the bare minimum attention possible which was just preparing the meals.

Hilbert, however, wanted their affection...and so, he began learning all he could about his parents' work to try and make them proud. He never succeeded in his quest and, in the end, his life ended after mishandling a device he was making for his parents.

After that day when she learned about Hilbert's old life, Johanna began trying to be his real mother and slowly, but surely, they got closer and closer until Johanna couldn't care less about the other life thing.

Hilbert, on the other hand despite loving his family a lot, would sometimes feel as if he doesn't belong with them.

Johanna knew about that and was always looking out for when it happens. She didn't want her son to feel like that. So, every time one happens, she does her best to slip in something extra nice to cheer him up.

Sadly, now, Hilbert was having the biggest episode Johanna ever saw. One that she had no way of stopping.

xxXxx

"Hilbert, are you alright?" Asked Johanna worriedly as she and the rest of her family sat down for breakfast. "you look like you haven't slept in days"

"Yeah...I'm fine" said Hilbert in a dejected absentminded tone. He had eye bags under his eyes and yawned too much for him to have slept properly.

It's been a while since the marra incident and Hilbert was not feeling good. Ever since then, he had reoccuring nightmares. Not about his fear of an empty void, but about his sister.

Ever since she told him "i wish you were never born", a part of him couldn't help but think "was she right? was i ruining her life?*

That part grew more over the days and continued eating through his mind; so much so that Hilbert could barely think anymore.

"Do you like the food? I made your favorite today." Said Johanna with a smile trying to cheer him up.

"...oh, yeah, it's great" said Hilbert tiredly with a fake smile as he ate without paying any attention to the taste

Hilda, who was sitting opposite to Hilbert frowned at that reaction, but continued eating her food nonetheless.

It wasn't long before Hilbert said he was full and headed to his room despite only finishing half, worrying his mother further and upsetting Hilda who had see her mother worried like this.

All in all, no one was feeling alright.

xxXxx

"Spark" said Hilbert tiredly "is it done yet?"

The goat hamster robot let out a pattern of zaps between their horns that told Hilbert "no"

"Urgh, maybe i can help y-"

Hilbert couldn't finish before Spark started letting out zaps furiously.

"I know i nearly blew myself up last time, but-"

'No means no' Spark furiously zapped between their horns

Spark was now fixing the memory eraser after Hilbert blew it up accidentally while trying to use it.

Hilbert believed the only answer to his problem was to forget. If only he didn't destroy the device by accident and since there were no mistakes allowed with making something that could erase memories, Spark forbid Hilbert from working on it while they fixed it themselves.

"I can't keep going like this." Said Hilbert as he curled into a ball on the floor next to his bed.

Spark stopped for a moment to hear Hilbert's tired voice before they resumed working, but much faster than before.

"Hey, Spark?"

Spark turned to Hilbert only to see him hesitate. He clearly wanted to say something, but stopped.

"It's nothing, forget about it"

Spark stared at Hilbert for a while in concern before heading back to working on the memory eraser.

And, after an hour of complete silence, the device was finished.

Hilbert sat down on his bed and put an odd looking helmet over his head before having the device lock onto the needed memory.

"Okay, just one press and this nightmare is all over." Said Hilbert feeling calm for once.

What he didn't expect was for the device to blow up after a few seconds, thankfully Hilbert was only lightly harmed and the room was silenced so his family wouldn't have heard or felt a thing.

"Wha-what happened?!" Hilbert asked in shock "why did it explode again?!"

It was the same reaction from when he used it before.

Spark themselves was panicking at what happened, feeling guilty about what they believed to be their mistake.

Hilbert, however, believed something else to be the case. He believed that HE was the problem, that he couldn't erase his memories because of his old life...and that terrified him.

But, he came up with one solution. One giant horrible self destructing solution.

xxXxx

"I want to erase my entire memory."

"What?" Asked Vivian in confusion and shock. Hilbert had called her suddenly and asked her to come to his house as fast as possible and this is what she first heard.

"I'm going to erase-"

"No! I heard you! But what?!" Said Vivian in shock "that's insane!"

"It's only way!" Exclaimed Hilbert desperately

"For what?!"

"To get my mind back in place!" Yelled Hilbert "the marra told Hilda about the device and-and-and *sob*"

Vivian's eyes widened as she saw that Hilbert was beginning to cry. She immediately sat next to him and started calming him down

"Hey, it's okay." Said Vivi patting Hilbert on the back only for him to hug her

"No, its not!" Said Hilbert descending into full blown crying "I can't even think properly anymore. All i think about is what she said. I've barely slept because I've been having so many nightmares! I can't take it anymore!"

"Calm down, tell me slowly" said Vivi trying to calm him down.

"*sniff* o-okay"

xxXxx

Vivian sat in silence as she heard everything Hilbert had to say.

"Yeah, that's all of it." Said Hilbert lowering his head in shame. "And that's why i have to delete my memories."

"Hilbert...i get you're suffering, but this is your memory we're talking about! You'd forget everything!"

"Not exactly. In theory, i can get my memories back if i interact with everyone for a while." Said Hilbert sheepishly

"Then why? Wouldn't your memory of Hilda come back too?"

"Yes, but it wouldn't hurt as much because...i wouldn't have the memories of my old life"

Vivian flinched when she heard that. She hated, because it would mean she would lose the only person who could understand her. That terrified her.

"NO!" Vivi yelled out instinctively, scaring Hilbert to the point that he began shivering in fear "oh, sorry sorry. But please don't erase your memory."

Hilbert couldn't reply yet as he still hadn't recovered from the yell.

"And, uh...i know you think it's the only way, but i think i know a way to help you. You just have to wait a few days first."

Hilbert stared at her silently, reluctant to answer. Vivian stared back, hoping he'd agree to her painful request.

"I promise! Just a few days, please?" Vivian begged

"Uh...alright. I'll wait" Hilbert gave in

"Don't worry, you won't regret it!" Said Vivian cheerfully "I'll even start right now. Bye"

Surprising Hilbert, Vivi sped out of the room and out of the house.

If Hilbert was in his right mind, he'd have realized that Vivian was...lying and actually had no plan.

She was just desperate to keep her only friend no matter what.

xxXxx

I feel like i messed this chapter up, but tell me how i did nonetheless.

Toodles.