Two weeks before Christmas, Lucy Loud and her family boarded a flight to Los Angeles. Lucy sat by the window and gazed down at the blanket of clouds below in wonderment. Next to her, Lola ordered one tiny plastic cup of Coke after another, getting higher and higher on sugar like a drunk losing herself in a bottle. Mom and Dad sat behind them, and Lincoln and Leni sat somewhere up ahead. Selwyn Productions, the studio that produced Vampires and Melancholia, was handling all of their expenses, from transportation to lodgings, even meals, and there was a festival atmosphere among the Louds. This was the first real family vacation that they had taken together and everyone was feeling loose and good.

The flight quickly lost its novelty for Lucy, and around the time they were flying high over Denver, her butt started to itch from being sat on for so long.

A few hours later, the plane sat down on the tarmac of LAX with a bounce and a screech of tires. The terminal was a confusdion of activity and crackling loudspeakers, and it took them forever to find the baggage claim center. A man in a dark suit and cap waited by the door holding a cardboard placard with LOUD FAMILY on it. Outside, a limo waited at the curb. Lucy had never seen a limo in real life before and was thoroughly impressed.

When she and her family left Michigan, the sky was ashy gray and raw winds battered light snow back and forth like, well, more ashes. Even though she knew the climate in SOCAL was different, she somehow expected it to be cold when they got off the plane. After all, it was winter, and not even L.A. is immune to the cold, right?

Wrong.

As soon as Lucy stepped out of the terminal, a wave of heat crashed into her, knocking her back a step. She was not prepared for that, or for how intense the sun was. In seconds, she was burned to a crisp, and before she even got into the limo, she was a little pile of ashes on the sidewalk.

On the drive through the city, she and the others marveled at the tall, stately palm trees, and at the famous buildings and landmarks of Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Lynn, who had recently discovered the joys of west coast hip hop, wanted to see Compton, but everyone vetoed her because no one felt like getting shot by some Crips.

Their hotel was in a fashionable part of Rodeo Drive (wasn't it all fashionable?). They had three adjoining rooms with a sweeping view of the city skyline, separate living rooms, and furniture that looked like it cost more than Mom and Dad made in a year. Lucy's roommates were Lincoln, Lola, Lisa, and Luan. Lucy got the queen sized bed while the others drew straws to see where they would sleep: Lincoln got the couch, Lola and Lisa each picked out a futon, and Luan was stuck bedding down on the floor. Let's see you crack some jokes from down there.

That night, they dined at a fancy restaurant off the Sunset Strip. The food was the best Lucy had ever had and the atmosphere was really nice, sedate yet festive. She saw several actors and actresses she knew from TV, and Lynn swore up and down she glimpsed Kayne West going into the men's room for a pee. Or maybe to gaze at himself in the mirror like Narcisis at the reflecting pool.

Probably the latter.

Later on, back at the hotel, a studio rep got in touch with Mom and Dad. The Loud family was to come to the studio the following morning around 10am, where they would be allowed on set during the filming of an episode of Vampires and Melancholia. Lucy was not expecting that, and when she heard the news, her heart soared. That was the coolest thing ever.

She couldn't wait.

Needless to say, she had trouble sleeping that night, like a little girl on Christmas Eve. She tossed, turned. Flipped, and flopped, and finally lapsed into a thin and fitful slumber an hour or so before dawn.

At 8:30am, a limo arrived to take them out to breakfast at a little place where stars and high powered movers and shakers in the industry regularly ate. Lucy didn't spot any notable faces but the quality of the food made up for that.

Afterward, the limo drove them to the studio. Hanger like buildings overlooked a maze of roads and stagehands rushed around with headsets on, each one looking harried and impatient. Lucy marveled at the sight of a real, live studio while the others expressed their own wonderment in a series of oohs and ahhhs. Vampires and Melancholia was filmed in the vaulted Studio F, where the classic soap opera The Brash and the Bountiful was filmed in the late eighties and early nineties. A studio manager met the Louds and led them inside. He gave them a crash course in how a TV studio operated but Lucy was too bowled over by her surroundings to pay his lesson much attention.

The manager brought them to a table laden with trays of snacks and urns of coffee. Lucy was helping herself to an eclair when a familiar voice, posh and ambiguous British, sounded behind her. "You must be the Loud family."

Lucy's heart skipped a beat and she whipped around so fast that she almost toppled over. Edwin, in all his glory, stood over her like a regal figure in full make-up: Pallid skin, blue tinged lips, and dark circles around his eyes. He wore a long black frock coat and leather gloves, cutting a very Victorian figure. He flashed a winning smile and asked, "Which one of you is Lucy?"

"Me," Lucy squeaked. Her face blazed and her stomach tangled itself into impressive knots. "I'm a really big fan."

Edwin's smile broadened, sharpening at the edges the way it did in the show when he glimpsed a particularly juicy neck. "It's wonderful to meet you, Lucy," he said. He took her hand and kissed it. "I trust your stay has been agreeable so far."

"It has," Lucy said.

"Wonderful. We're about to begin filming for the day, if you'd care to accompany me to my dressing room, I have a gift for you."

He was speaking directly, and exclusively, to Lucy.

"That sounds great," Lucy said.

Smiling, Edwin took her by the hand and led her away. She followed like a girl in a dream, head spinning and feet barely touching the floor. Edwin's dressing room was off a long hallway. It was much bigger than she expected, with a vanity mirror, a TV, a comfortable couch, and other trappings that made it look more like a living room than anything else. Edwin released her hand and gave her a fruit basket. She saw apples, oranges, pears, and other treats. She wasn't a huge fruit eater but she would savor every bite. Edwin sat at the mirror and she perched on the edge of a leather sofa facing him. "Tell me about yourself, Lucy Loud," he said.

Lucy thought for a moment, then shrugged one shoulder. "I don't where to start," she said.

Edwin watched her with penetrating eyes that made her feel naked and almost uncomfortable. "You could start where it matters," he suggested, "how big a fan of mine you are." He smiled, and she realized for the first time that he was already wearing his prosthetic fangs for the show.

"Pretty big," she laughed.

"Number one?"

"Maybe," Lucy said, "at least one and a half."

Edwin laughed richly. "That's not the only thing that's big," he said. "Your family is as well. How many siblings do you have?"

"Ten," Lucy said, "nine sisters and one brother."

Edwin whistled. "That's a lot. Do you get on well?"

"Yeah, we get along pretty good," Lucy said. "Everyone's so different, which means there's always a little friction -"

"To be expected," Edwin cut in.

"- but for the most part, we do alright."

Reaching out for a bottle of water, Edwin unscrewed the cap and took a long drink. "That's nice. I always wanted siblings of my own. I was an only child and I got lonely growing up."

She knew. Well, she knew about the only child part, not necessarily about the being lonely part. Had she read that somewhere? She couldn't recall. She had read and seen so many interviews with him, read and studied his website She knew that he was an only child but couldn't remember if he had ever said he felt lonely because of it. Maybe he had, but this felt like a personal, bombshell revelation, and she was kind of honored that he would make it to her.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Eh, such is life," he replied. "Where do you live? They told me but I forgot. Royal Oaks or something?"

She corrected him. "Royal Woods." She told him all about it, about her favorite places and all the things she did there with her friends and siblings.

Edwin's lips curled up at the corners as he listened, and when she was done, he let out a deep sigh. "It sounds like a lovely place. I'd love to visit some time."

"You'd be more than welcome," Lucy assured him.

Edwin glanced at his watch. "Well, then, I suppose it's time to get going." He stood. "I trust you'll be watching as we film."

Standing, Lucy nodded eagerly, "Yes, I wouldn't miss it."

"Good," Edwin said.

On set, Lucy joined her family by the catering table and wolfed down snacks and cups of juice while filming commenced. They were already filming next season's episodes and Lucy had no idea what was going on, but one of the scenes they shot was set in the 1840s vand involved Edwin helping slaves run away from their masters on the Underground Railroad. At one point, a group of slave hunters carrying torches and muskets, and Edwin ripped them apart. It wasn't as impressive in person as it would be on TV, with editing and all, but it was still really cool to see. When he was done and covered in fake blood, Edwin winked at her.

That night, Edwin and his agent, a wiery Jew with an afro and glasses, took the Louds out to dinner at a posh restaurant in the Hollywood Hills. Edwin paid special attention to Lucy, and made her feel like she was the only girl in the world. The next day, he took her into his dressing room and handed her a dress. "What's this?" she asked.

"You're going to be on the show," he said.

Lucy's jaw dropped. "I am? That wasn't part of the -"

"I pulled a few strings," Edwin said with an innocent shrug.

Lucy was so excited that she hugged him. He laughed and laid his hand on her back, slowly stroking her as though she were a cat. "Thank you," she said.

"You're quite welcome."

Lucy's part was small - she churned butter in the background of one scene where 1840s Edwin walked down a street in the daylight - apparently having found the storied crystal that inured vampires against the ruinous effects of the sun. The camera did not focus on her and if you blinked, you would miss her, but she was over the moon with happiness anyway. She got to be on her favorite show. How many people can say the same?

When the day's shooting wrapped, she met Edwin by the catering table. He cut an impressive figure in cutaway tails and trousers that reached half way up his stomach. He wore a golden pocket watch and rubber Wellingtons, his hair and make up perfect. He reminded her vaguely of Johnny Depp in Dark Shadows. When he saw her, a wicked smile flickered across his face, and something shifted in his eyes, something that gave her pause. On later reflection, she would describe it as cold and reptilian, but if came and went so fast that she couldn't be sure if it had ever been there at all. "There she is," he said grandly, "Hollywood's newest star."

A hot blush spread across her face and she bowed her head demurely. "I doubt it," she said. "It was barely a cameo."

"That's how all great talent starts off in this town," Edwin said. "I was just telling your father that he should take you to a screen test while you're here. You've got a certain…presence…that will certainly give you a leg up over the competition."

Lucy's blush deepened. She was sure that he was only flattering her, but she appreciated the kind words. She had never once considered acting and had no training, but now that the idea was planted in her head, she could totally see herself up there on the small screen…maybe even the big screen one day.

"We might try," Dad said noncommittal, "you'd probably like acting."

"Maybe," Lucy said.

That night, Lucy had just gotten out of the bath and was dressed in her PJs when a knock came at the door. Lana opened it and Edwin was there with a bouquet of black roses. "I was nearby and figured I'd drop in," he told Lucy. He handed her the flowers and she smiled at them. They were perfect. "I just happened across these," he said, "they were growing wild through the cracks in a parking lot. Someone should really do something about them."

"Thank you," she said, "they're beautiful."

Edwin smiled down at her. "That must be why they reminded me of you."

Surely he was flattering her again. She was nowhere near as beautiful as these roses. "Thank you," she said anyway.

"Would you care to accompany me on a stroll?" Edwin asked.

She didn't have to think twice about it. "I'd love to," she said.

"Just so long as it's alright with your parents."

Mom smiled. "It's no problem at all."

"Great," Edwin said, "let's go."

The night was warm and breezy, scented with the sounds of the city. On Sunset Strip, neon lights flashed names and logos in electric brilliance and the sounds of loud, muffled music throbbed from various clubs and restaurants along its length. The sidewalks were crowded with people all dressed in their best. She spotted a few faces she thought she recognized from TV but clouldn't match any names to them.

As they walked, Edwin talked about life in Hollywood and Lucy listened intently. The sound of his voice was comforting and monotonous, and the more she listened to it, the sleepeier she got, in a good way, of course. "Enough about me," Edwin finally said, "what about you, Lucy? What is it like to be Lucy Loud?"

Lucy took a deep breath. "I don't even know where to begin. My life isn't interesting like yours. In fact, my life is really boring."

Edwin's hand closed over hers and she looked up at him. He flashed her a smile and said, "Your life doesn't bore me. Quite the contrary, I find it fascinating."

"Not much happens in my life," Lucy said.

"That's why I like it," Edwin said, "it's…charming. Not like the constant hustle and bustle of Hollywood. Sometimes I dream of leaving this chaotic world behind and starting over in a town much like Royal Woods. Being nameless, anonymous, not having the stress of filming schdules and paparazzi." He drew a wistful sigh. "I would like that very much."

"I think your life is exciting," Lucy said. "All of this…Hollywood…it's amazing."

"It's a matter of perspective, I guess," Edwin said. "You know the old saying about the grass always being greener on the other side."

Lucy considered that, then lifted and lowered one shoulder. She guessed he was right, the grass always does look greener on the other side. However, sometimes it really is greener beyond the fence, and even if it isn't actually a superior shade, the grass next door looks nicer to you on its own. Some people like lush emerald green lawns and others like…not lush emerald green lawns. Lucy didn't know how many kinds of lawns there realistically were, maybe that was a bad analogy, but her point was: She understood how someone like Edwin could want what she had even as she convinced herself that what he had was better.

It really was a matter of perspective.

They walked around a little bit more and chatted about life and other things. Lucy told him more about Royal Woods and he listened intently, his head slightly cocked to one side as if to drain the information directly to his brain. When they crossed the street - which they did strangely often, it seemed - Edwin would put his hand protectively in the small of her back or hold her own hand like she was a little old lady and he a dutiful boy scout. They got ice cream from a sidewalk shop and ate it at a picnic table with an umbrella. He smiled as he watched her eat, and she blushed with embarrassment. She didn't like it when people watched her eat. Eating was never exactly what she would call a pretty sight. She said so and Edwin chuckled. "Oh, come now, that's not true. You're a very beautiful girl. I was just thinking of all the roles you could play. I know a couple you'd be perfect for. I was trying to remember exactly what they are though."

Again, he chuckled. "I hear so much industry stuff that it all eventually starts to seep out of my ears. There's something…" he trailed off and pursed his lips. "It's a movie, I think, or a Hulu thing. It's supposed to be like Stranger Things. I can't recall but if they haven't started casting yet, you'd be a shoo in."

"I don't know," she said, "I really don't have any talent for acting and I don't think I'm anything special." She licked her ice cream and a cold, jagged spike of pain drove into the center of her skull, making her wince. "In fact, I don't think I look like an actress at all. For one thing, my nose is too big."

That was a fact. Her nose was a little on the bigger side. In fact, it wouldn't be far off to call it kind of "piggish." Despite her reputation as a depressed emo - a reputation that she intentionally cultivated, by the way - she was not the type to be excessively down on herself. She did not stand in front of the mirror and worry over every single flaw and imperfection the way some people did, and she did not insult or belittle herself. She was, however, honest, and she thought her nose was too big. She also didn't like her crystal blue eyes, which is part of the reason she hid them behind her hair. They were too vivid, too bright, they shattered her image and made her look more like a Disney princess than a goth. People told her they were beautiful but they were too…loud for her liking. They were often the first thing people noticed when they walked into a room and drew too much attention.

Anyway, Lucy was honest with herself about her own flaws, or at least what she perceived as her flaws. She was cold and analytical about them, she didn't ignore them the way some ignored their flaws, but she didn't obsess over them either. She considered herself honest and neutral on the subject. Why wouldn't she be?

"Too big?" Edwin asked, sounding shocked. "No, your nose is fine. Have you seen some the people in this town? Not to be mean, but even with the best make up artists in the world, some of them are rough around the edges…to say the least."

They both laughed. True, she guessed, still as much as she might like the idea of acting, she didn't know if she had the "it" factor. Edwin said she had "presence" but she thought he was only being nice. To be a star, you have to have a certain, intangible quality, some cross between charisma and insanity. Lucy wasn't very charismatic. Heck, she easily got lost in her own family. If she could stand among her siblings and fade away, how could she ever hope to stand among trained, natural born actors and do anything but wink out of existence?

She was still pondering that when they finished their ice cream and started back to the hotel. At her door, Edwin smiled down at her and cupped the side of her face in one surprisingly large and powerful hand. There was something in his touch, some suggestion of dark power, and once again, she was sure that she saw a cold something slither through his gaze. An inexplicable chill went down her spine, and she barely suppressed a body wide shudder. "Good night, Lucy," he said in a quiet voice hardly above a whisper.

"Good night," she replied.

Inside, she closed the door behind her and locked it, her brow creasing in thought. She was suddenly troubled, though she couldn't say why. Confused, she went to bed. Tomorrow afternoon, she and her family would board a plane back to Royal Woods, and she would never see Edwin again. Of course her fantasy of them becoming friends was just that, a fantasy. She was a fan and he was going through the motions for the sake of a contest. That was all. After tomorrow, Edwin would walk out of her life and blend back into the TV background noise…where he maybe belonged.

But Lucy was wrong.

So, so wrong.