(See the first chapter for disclaimer, notes, spoiler, etc.)
Chapter Nineteen: "Heartstrings That Play Soft and Low"
A/N: This chapter contains veiled references to my earlier story, "Perigee".
Morris
"Thank you for driving me."
He chuckled and quickly glanced over. "What was I supposed to do? Let you walk back to Sunset Beach?"
She smiled and reached for the paper cup in the center console. "I could've called the car service Liberty uses."
"Well. Then, you're welcome for saving you some money."
"My mother always said saving money is important," she said into the cup before she took a sip of coffee. She leaned back into the passenger seat and sighed deeply.
He cleared his throat as the morning sunlight glared against the hood of the car. "That sounded like a deep thought," he pointed out.
"My phone died. You didn't have an iPhone charger-"
"That's because Apple is overrated and overpriced."
"-and so, I was wondering if AJ tried to call."
He sighed deeply, hearing the frustration in her voice. "I thought you were done beating yourself up over last night?"
Her voice dropped as she murmured, "I feel as if I let Gregory down."
"Olivia," he said seriously, "I can't let you think that. I just can't." Thank you, Morris. For being my friend. He glanced over quickly, seeing the fullness of the sorrow in her expression. "You didn't hear what I heard. AJ intentionally provoked you." Her eyes flickered to his and he forced himself to look back at the road. For being my friend. The tired smile on her face. The way her lips felt against his cheek. "You didn't let Gregory down. But, you acted like the woman who loved him for the entirety of her adult life."
"What are you saying?"
"If you're still intent on doing this-"
"I am."
"-then you need to let AJ think he's right."
The leather hissed as she fully turned her body to him. "What are you saying?" she repeated as the pitch of her voice rose.
"Lie," he whispered, staring straight out at the freeway. She inhaled sharply as he continued, "Tell AJ he was right to say what he did about Greg. Say that he bullied you. Say that he hurt you. Say he turned you into an alcoholic."
"Are you insane, Morris?" she hissed.
"No," he replied flatly. "But, if what we suspect about AJ is true, then he is. Play into his spoiled rich boy ego and make him think he was right. It's the quickest way for you to make him forget about last night."
Her angry exhale was the only reply as she turned away from him. The sudden silence invaded the car like a third passenger and he resisted the urge to turn to her. He swallowed past the distaste of saying those things about Greg. But, she'd realize he was right. The lie was the only way she could make AJ believe. He reached out, tapping the entertainment center's touchscreen to turn on the radio. Anything to fill the uncomfortable silence.
Heartstrings that play soft and low
Olivia's hand shot out, tapping the screen to turn the radio off. "Not this song," she snapped.
Anything except that song.
Evy
She sat curled up in the corner of the sofa, her knees drawn close to her chest. The early morning silence became the house, filling it the same way the pre-dawn light gave way to warm sunshine. They were completely alone. Casey, Diana, and the kids left before dawn for the long drive to Tahoe. They were spending a week at the cabin. It was probably for the best they weren't here now. "Here," she heard Benjy say and she looked up as he stepped over Pancake, holding out a mug.
With a sigh, she took the offering, even as she murmured, "You really think caffeine is the best thing for me right now?"
He shrugged as he sat next to her with his own mug and turned to face her. "Or, is it decaf?"
"Eww." She raised the mug to her lips and sipped tentatively as he snickered into his own coffee. A moment later, she felt his left hand cover her bare feet and she couldn't help the smile that curled her lips. Despite everything, she realized, as she reached out and slipped her hand into his. "I grew up different than Cait and Sean," she whispered. "They have stories and stories and stories of all the fights they remember Mom and Dad having when they were kids." She squeezed his hand as she continued, "But, I only remember one."
"Just one?" he scoffed.
Her smiled flattened as she heard the implication in his question. She didn't blame him. After all, a huge chunk of her parent's marriage was infamously – and publicly – awful. The woman challenging Dad's estate was only the latest reminder of the disaster they used to be. But, those weren't the people who raised her. "Be real: my parents weren't perfect. I mean, they disagreed on a ton of things all the time. But, fights? Fights weren't the norm when I was a kid."
"Except for one?"
She nodded. "I was supposed to go to my room, but I hid at the top of the stairs and listened. I was terrified. Dad was so angry at Mom. I'd never seen him like that before. But, also…" She took another sip of coffee, grateful for the way Benjy sat quietly and waited for her. "I'd never seen them fight like that before," she finally said. "I thought they might get a divorce…and that made me furious." Her eyes narrowed as a soft chuckle rose in throat. "I told Mom – well, shouted at her – that if she and Dad got a divorce, I'd never speak to them for the rest of my life."
Benjy's amused smile made his eyes crinkle. "Seems like a fair threat," he said softly, "for a…"
"Ten-year-old," she answered. "I was ten." Instantly, she remembered the way she stomped up the stairs and down the hall, her heart racing. The horribly painful ache that spread from her stomach to her chest to her throat. It was the same pain she felt now. Since early this morning. "They made up later that night. It was like it never happened." She looked up as Benjy's hand cupped her calf and she continued, "After, Mom whispered something in my ear. She said that Dad was stuck with her. That they wouldn't do well without each other."
"Evy…"
Their eyes met as she whispered, "I guess she's doing well now though?"
He took her mug and set it aside before he leaned in. "Take a deep breath. You don't mean that. I know you don't."
With a gentle shove, she pushed him away and stood. Pancake raised her head, following her with a silent gaze as she folded her arms tightly across my chest. "Don't tell me what to feel!" she snapped.
The spaniel jumped to attention and trotted away as Benjy stood too. "Evy, I'm not. I just mean…I know what it feels like when your parents keep secrets from you. When you know there's things they're not telling you." She huffed a sigh and started to turn away when he reached out and grabbed her hand. "I know how shitty that feels. When you know you haven't been told the truth. When you know there are things your father isn't telling you. When your mother looks you in the eye and lies." She felt him squeeze her hand as he whispered, "There are secrets in my family that follow me like shadows. And, we don't talk about it. Ever. But, I know they're there. And," he gasped, his voice taut, "I'm the one who has to live with that sick feeling. Not them."
"Someone is sick?"
She looked up sharply as Mom's question consumed her. Pancake stood at Mom's side, happily wagging her tail as she gazed up at her. Instantly, her chest tightened as the pressure skyrocketed through her. Her own heartbeat pounded in her ears, drowning out Benjy's reply. "Wait in the car for me, Benjy," she muttered. "I'm not staying here." She ignored the long look Mom exchanged with Benjy as he walked past her and slipped out the front door.
Her hands clenched into tight fists Mom neared her. Limp hair. No makeup. Wrinkled clothing. An internal scream consumed her, flushing through her veins, as she spat out, "How did you get home from Aunt Bette's?"
Mom dropped her purse onto the armchair as she replied, "Bette dropped me off."
"Really?" she asked as she felt herself glare. Her words felt heavy, taking up space in the living room the way Dad's presence would've. "Because when I went over to her house an hour ago – because I knew you'd need a ride home – not only did I wake her up, but she said you weren't there." Mom froze as her expression turned. As the blood dramatically drained from her face, she hissed, "Aunt Bette said you hadn't been there at all. We both tried calling your cell, but it kept going straight to voicemail. We texted, but you didn't reply." Mom's eyes narrowed as she asked, "Were you busy, Mom? Did you not want to be interrupted?"
"Evy-"
"DON'T YOU DARE 'EVY' ME!" she screamed. "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!" Her throat swelled and she was suddenly nauseous as Mom moved closer. Instantly, she backed away, afraid of the blinding rage coursing through her.
"Darling, whatever you're thinking-"
"Oh, you already know what I'm thinking! You knew it last night when you lied about where you were! What you were doing! WHO YOU WERE WITH!" She shook her head angrily as she moved around the living room, letting the sofa separate her and Mom. "Jesus, Mom! You and AJ Deschanel!"
"Evelyn Frances-"
"STOP ACTING AS IF I'M THE ONE WHO DID SOMETHING WRONG!" She pointed accusingly at Mom, whose head went back as if her words smacked her. "STOP ACTING AS IF I'M THE ONE WHO BETRAYED DAD!"
Mom's shoulders caved in and, a moment later, she sank into the armchair. "Enough," she murmured, raising her hands to her face. Pancake moved next to Mom, resting her head on her thigh.
She grabbed her purse, gripping the strap tight in her hand. "Need to call AJ? Let him know you survived the walk of shame?"
Mom whipped around, her eyes narrowed. "Get out," she hissed. "Get out of my sight!"
"Gladly!" she shouted as she stomped over to the front door. "Send AJ my regards…I mean, MY REGRETS!"
Olivia
With the memory of the way the front door slammed shut when Evy stormed out, I gently closed the door to my office. Pancake followed me to the desk as I tightened the belt of Gregory's robe. It always was too large for me. With a sigh, I sat in the chair behind my desk, plugged my dead phone into the charger, and leaned back. Stop acting as if I'm the one who betrayed Dad! I closed my eyes, remembering the way my youngest child bellowed at me. Her brown eyes shone, her neck flushed. God, she looked and acted so much like Gregory when she was furious.
A headache pounded in my skull and I slowly opened my eyes, gazing up at the ceiling. After the failed dinner with AJ, it didn't seem fair that I still had to deal with an upset child. Not that I wanted Evy to be upset with me, but now, she was upset with me and I had gotten nowhere with AJ. "It was all for nothing, Gregory," I murmured.
A moment later, I felt the dog's head in my lap and I reached out, petting her. Not even her unconditional love nor a shower could make me forget the way Evy looked at me. The way she shouted. The disgust had radiated from her like beams from the sun. The anger that burned in her eyes. It was the most furious Evy had ever been with me in her entire life.
With a sigh, I sat up and opened my laptop. The screen came to life and I glanced over at my iPhone. It wasn't even charged to one percent yet. Suddenly, I wasn't looking forward to when it was charged enough to turn on. Angry text and voice messages from Evy were not what I wanted to see and hear. Not after this morning.
I clicked the email icon and watched my inboxes open, eager for the momentary distraction they'd provide. An email from earlier this morning immediately caught my eye. I clicked on it, grateful that Sofia was fluent in English. My eyes skimmed through the message, a wistful smile coming to my face. The sellers accepted my response to their counter offer. The villa in Impruneta, just outside of Florence, was now mine.
Look. It's like a painting.
It's the view you were waiting for.
With a sharp exhale, I blinked my eyes, willing away the tears. I could still feel the way Gregory's hand felt against the back of my neck. The way it felt when I hugged him. When we stood together in the salon, our arms around each other. I tapped out a quick reply, expressing my desire to have the closing paperwork faxed to the lawyers here as soon as possible so I could sign them. I glanced down at Pancake and scratched behind her ears as I murmured, "We'll need to teach you some commands in Italian. Come si dice 'sit'?" She merely looked at me as her mouth parted in a smile, her tail wagging furiously. "Brava ragazza," I whispered with one final scratch before I turned back to the laptop.
As I did, my eyes drifted to the number next to the icon for my Liberty email. One unread email. A chill went through me as I opened the inbox and saw AJ's name in the Sender field. The Subject line was simple. Please call me, Olivia. I opened the email and saw just a phone number in the body of the message. I didn't even think. Of course I reached for the desk phone and dialed the number he gave me. My heart began to pound as I listened to the aimless ring of the line. As I reached down to power on my cell phone, I heard the ringing abruptly stop before I heard AJ's voice. "Hello, AJ," I said softly as I gripped the handset tightly.
"Olivia. Thank you for calling. I tried your cell phone several times last night."
I leaned back in the chair and rested my free hand on Pancake's head. "It died and I couldn't find the charger." I looked down at the dog and rolled my eyes. It wasn't as if AJ deserved an honest reply from me.
He sighed deeply. "Olivia, how can I begin to apologize for last night?" I said nothing, the silence becoming us, as I continued to hold Pancake's gaze. "I-I crossed a line. I was cruel. And, I'm deeply and sincerely sorry for everything I said."
Lie. Tell AJ he was right to say what he did about Greg. Say that he bullied you. Say that he hurt you. Say he turned you into an alcoholic.
I closed my eyes as bile rose in my throat. I couldn't do it. I couldn't say it aloud. "AJ…"
"It's just that," he began, his words rushed, "I have such fond memories of our time together. Of how you were. How we were. And, last night- last night you were unhappy and I caused it." There was a moment of silence before I heard him say, "I'd very much like the chance to make it up to you."
I bit back a chuckle and asked, "A repeat performance?"
"Not quite," he replied with a chuckle. "Something different. Less pressure for you. Tickets for tomorrow night's performance of Tosca in Los Angeles. I remembered how much you enjoyed the opera."
I sat up quickly, startling Pancake, as my blood ran cold. My lips parted, but I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak.
"Olivia? Olivia? Are you there?"
I nodded, not that he could see. "Y-yes," I stammered, pressing my hand to my mouth. The last time I'd been so quickly overcome with nausea was when I was pregnant with Sean. I didn't miss the sensation. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt his anticipation of my reply across the line. "Yes. I-I'm just touched you remembered something like that after all this time," I lied. "Truly touched."
He chuckled softly and I could hear how pleased he was. "You'd be surprised how much I remember about you."
My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I resisted the urge to scream. "You always were full of surprises," I forced myself to say as I reached for my cell phone and dismissed all the missed call and text notifications. My hands trembled as I found Morris' message history and typed out a message. Pulled pork.
"Shall I pick you up tomorrow night? The performance starts at eight."
I clutched the iPhone with both hands, balancing my desk phone between my head and left shoulder. "Can I get back to you?" I asked, marveling at how casual I could sound. "Believe it or not, it'll depend on what I wear tomorrow night."
He laughed and I could almost imagine the twinkle in his eyes. It sickened me. "Of course. No pressure, remember? Call me when you've decided."
"I will. Good bye, AJ." His voice fell away as I moved the phone away from my ear and hung up. My phone chimed and I saw Morris' reply. On my way. Be there in 20. I tossed the phone onto the desk and leaned back in the chair. The sickening dizziness and nausea consumed me as I gasped aloud. A moment later, Pancake jumped into my lap. Her warm body curled against my chest and I lowered my face to her head, clutching her to me.
Caitlin
"Mommy, when will Baby Rory be able to play hide-and-seek with me?"
Blake leaned over the arm of the sofa, watching as she breastfed the baby. "Oh, I think it will be awhile, baby doll. She's younger than Tanner and he can't play with you, Delilah, or Hope yet." She glanced up in time to see her daughter's face screw up in a frown. "But, there's lots of other fun ways you can play with your little sister. She just can't do everything that you can yet."
"But, Mommy," she said with an exaggerated sigh, "but I want to play with Baby Rory now!"
Biting back a smile, she reached out and gently brushed the wisps of blonde hair from her older daughter's face. "You know, Mikey likes playing hide-and-seek with you."
She stood tall and put her hands on her hips. "Well, I don't like playing with him because he can climb the big trees in the backyard to hide and I can't climb that high to tag him!"
Rory stilled at her breast and she sighed, grateful that she was done feeding. "Tell you what," she said as she buttoned up her shirt and lifted the baby to her shoulder. "Just for today only, you can hide in the vineyard." She smiled as Blake's eyes lit up and she clapped her hands. "But, just for today. Do you understand, sweetie?" All their children had been raised to understand the sprawling vineyards behind their hillside home was where their father and his employees worked. It was not a place for them to play.
"Oh, yes, Mommy! Just for today! I promise!" The little girl leaned back over the arm of the sofa, her lips pursed expectantly.
"Good girl," she said as she leaned forward and kissed her. "Now, go find Mikey. Be back for lunch, ok?"
"I will, Mommy! I will!"
She leaned back into the plush sofa as her daughter ran from the living room, calling for her older brother. Her eyes closed as the home settled into silence as she rubbed her daughter's back. If Rory took a nap right now, she might be able to take one too. Greg was at soccer practice. Charlie was working in his office before it was time to go back for Greg. Mikey and Blake were occupied with hide-and-seek. No one would need her for at least an hour. With a grateful smile, she sighed happily. Her daughter's breathing tickled the right side of her neck and, as always, her heart skipped. Nothing had filled her heart the way this quiet time with her four children did. Her babies needed her in a way they never needed Charlie. And now, with her last baby snug in her arms, she was more protective of this time than ever before. After all, it would be no time at all before Rory was one and she was unsteadily toddling after her older sister and older brothers.
Her iPhone rang and she reluctantly opened her eyes. "Rory, we are not FaceTime ready," she grumbled beneath her breath as she held up her phone and squinted at the screen. Evy. She frowned, glancing down at Rory's half-closed eyes. Her younger sister hadn't FaceTimed her in months. The kids, definitely. Evy loved them and relished in her role as aunt extraordinaire. But, not her. With a sigh, she swiped the screen and held out her phone. "Hi."
The lighting was poor, but she could make out her younger sister. "Hi. Is Rory awake?"
She shook her head slightly and softly explained, "I just fed her. She usually goes down for a nap after."
"Oh. Do you need to call me back once she's in her crib?"
She shook her head. "She could sleep through an earthquake," she explained. "I mean, with all the noise Greg, Mikey, and Blake make, she needed to learn to adapt." Her sister moved and the light changed, allowing her to see her fully. "Where are you?"
"Benjy's." Her response was flat and all she could do was nod.
"Mom said he was growing on her," she said simply, even as she wondered why her sister was FaceTiming her. Before Daddy died, she wouldn't have wondered. They had spoken every day back then, even with the time zone differences in New York and Sonoma. But now…
"Who cares what Mom thinks?"
Her eyes widened in surprise. Evy's snarky reply caught her attention. "Evy, what happened?" she asked, getting straight to the point. A moment later, she watched as her younger sister's expression crumbled and she began to cry. Not just cry, but deep and belly-aching sobs. "Evy? Is Mom ok? Evy?"
"Mom's fine. She's living her best life," she sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
Her stomach muscles tensed as she listened to her sister's crying lessen and eventually subside. "What happened?" She watched Evy's face turn and she couldn't help but shiver at the angry expression. "Did you have a fight?" she asked, grasping at straws. But, that was ridiculous. Mom and Evy never fought. Ever.
"Not really. Sort of. Yes." She sighed deeply and stared straight into the camera. "Cait, I don't know what to do. You're the only person I can talk to about this. Casey and Sean would be so uncomfortable."
"But, Mom's ok?" she asked, worried.
Evy rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yes. I already said she was."
"Sorry, I-" She briefly closed her eyes and, when she reopened them, she saw Evy holding her head in her hands. "Talk to me, Evy. What happened? Why are you at Benjy's?"
Her sister sighed in the silence that stretched between them and she slowly looked up. "I yelled at Mom. I'm angry at her."
"What happened?"
"Mom…Mom had dinner with AJ Deschanel last night."
She felt herself frown as she inhaled sharply. "AJ Deschanel?" she repeated incredulously.
"The one and only," she replied flatly. "Did Mom tell you Ben sold him some of his Liberty shares?"
"What?" she sat up and propped the phone against the glass bowl on the coffee table so she could cradle Rory in her arms. "AJ owns a piece of Liberty?"
She nodded. "So, they had a business dinner last night. Then, Mom texted Casey and I last night to say Aunt Bette picked her up from the restaurant and she was spending the night at her house." Her heart began to beat faster as she immediately understood what was going on. "Casey and I even joked it must have been a disaster of a dinner if Aunt Bette needed to go rescue Mom."
"But then?" she asked, prompting her sister to get to the inevitable conclusion.
"I went over there this morning to pick her up." Her eyes drifted off in thought as a rueful smile came to her face. "I even bought coffee and bagels. I thought the three of us could eat and make fun of AJ." She shook her head and looked back up at her. "But, when I got there, Aunt Bette said Mom had never been there." With another deep sigh, she dropped her chin into her hands and sighed. "Mom's phone went straight to voice mail. She wasn't responding to our texts. So, I panicked and called Benjy. We went back to the house to wait. Mom got home an hour after that."
"And?"
Evy's eyes dropped as she murmured, "She looked like what you'd imagine: a complete train wreck."
She nodded, but said nothing, as she held Rory close. Dozens and dozens of memories flashed before her eyes. Memories she never thought she'd need to revisit ever again. When Mom would come home reeking of liquor. When Mom smelled of cologne Daddy didn't wear. When Mom was arrested for driving drunk. When Mom drank until her words slurred. When Mom was barely conscious and she needed to help drag her to the first-floor guest room. When Mom and Daddy fought, their screaming echoing throughout the house. "What did you say when you confronted her?" Because of course Evy confronted her. She had Daddy's temper.
Her face fell as she said, "I shouted at her. She told me to get out of her sight."
Instantly, the past months of frustration and irritation with her younger sister fell to the wayside. "Oh, Evy. I'm sorry." Mom never liked it when she or Daddy would call her out on her binges. She always got defensive and lashed out. Sean was the only one who never questioned her and, therefore, stayed in her good graces. "I'm so sorry you saw that."
Evy shrugged and rubbed her face. "Was this what it was like with her before? When she drank?"
It hurt her heart to nod. Hurt her heart that Evy was introduced to who their mother used to be. "Evy, do you think she was-"
"I don't think she was drinking," she muttered, her eyes full. "Truly, Cait. I believe she's painfully sober." With a lick of disgust in her tone, she continued, "That means Dad's been dead for four months and Mom is already moving on. With AJ-fucking-Deschanel of all people."
AJ-fucking-Deschanel. Evy truly was like Daddy in every way. "You know," she said as drew a receiving blanket over her sleeping daughter, "I dated his son for a few months when I was in college. Cole. He was the reason why I chose Paris for my study abroad."
A wicked smirk danced across her sister's expression. "Oh, yeah. The jewel thief. Dad used to speak so fondly of him."
She laughed softly and readjusted the phone so it was closer. Suddenly, the desire to be as close as possible to Evy was all-consuming. "Sounds right." Evy's laugh echoed across the video and she felt a piece of herself snap back into alignment. "Daddy was a huge fan of his," she giggled as Evy wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.
"Excuse me. This is Trump's America now. I think you meant to say Dad was a YUGE fan of the jewel thief."
She groaned and shook her head. "Ugh, don't start with that." Their eyes met in the screen and they giggled again in unison. With a deep sigh, she admitted, "I've missed you, Evy."
Evy leaned closer to the screen and she could see how puffy her brown eyes were. "Me too, Cait. I don't even remember why we're fighting."
Shame clouded her and she admitted, holding Rory tight, "I'm jealous."
"Wait. What? Jealous? Of me?"
With a bashful shrug, she looked down at her sleeping daughter's still face as she admitted, "You got to drop everything and fly home to be with Mom. I wanted to too. I wanted to be there for her…and I couldn't."
"Cait! Oh my God! You were pregnant and on bedrest!"
With a slight shake of her head, she turned back to her sister and saw her incredulous expression. "I wanted to be there. You were. Casey was. Sean went home several times."
"Caitlin Salinger, I absolutely refuse to let you keep beating yourself up over this. So, stop. Ok?"
Just. Like. Daddy. She nodded and whispered, "I love you, Evy."
She beamed. "I love you too, Cait." A moment later though, her expression shifted and she stared straight into the camera. "What do I do about Mom? How do I face her? I can't stay at Benjy's forever!" She cupped her face and sighed. "I was really so sure I'd be able to help Mom. But, now…well, I just don't know."
"Listen, Evy," she began, wishing she was at her sister's side instead of hours away. "Mom and Daddy were in love. They spent their entire adult lives together. They had us. They had so many good years, but a lot of awful ones too." Her younger sister nodded, but said nothing else as she continued, "Charlie and I haven't gone through nearly everything Mom and Daddy did. But, I know that if something happened to me, I wouldn't want Charlie to be alone for the rest of his life."
"Caitlin, don't talk like that!"
"But, I have to Evy. Because I've had four months of thinking about what Mom must be going through. Four months of thinking about how horrible it is for her to live without Daddy. Four months to realize I don't want her to live a sad and shut-in life. She'll be 62 in November and her life is not over." Her sister looked at her, but said nothing. "It's going to be hard. Weird. Awkward. Uncomfortable. But, at some point, Mom was always going to start dating again."
Evy rolled her eyes. "But, AJ Deschanel, Cait? I mean, Dad hated him!"
She nodded. "Hard and uncomfortable. Remember?"
She frowned and retorted, "Dad's only been dead for four months!"
"Maybe it's just a reaction of the grief?" she suggested. "I mean, Charlie's dad remarried ten months after his mom died."
"Charlie's parents aren't Mom and Dad," she muttered.
"No. No, they're not. But, as uncomfortable as this is, we'll get through this, Evy. Together." Because she was a wife and mother, like Mom. Even though Charlie was still alive, she knew how it would upturn her life if he was gone forever. And, because she owed it to Mom. After her childhood years, when she had taken Daddy's side in their marital war, she needed to repay her for the years of unfair judgement and resentment. When she decided Daddy was the hero and Mom was the troublesome villain. But, Daddy was just as much to blame as Mom was for all of their problems. She had chosen sides.
She wouldn't do that to Mom again.
Olivia
"Well?" The silence of my study consumed me as I waited for Morris to reply.
He sighed and leaned forward over his knees with his head in his hands. "Again."
I sighed as Pancake shifted in my lap. "AJ said he remembered how much I liked the opera." By now, on my fifth recitation of the conversation with AJ, my throat didn't tighten. My voice didn't shake. I was able to say, without any kind of emotional reaction, "I didn't go to the opera for the first time until after Gregory and I were married. He took me to La bohème on our honeymoon." I met Morris' eyes as I concluded, "AJ remembers something about me he couldn't possibly remember."
He sighed. "Maybe it was something Bette mentioned? However casually?"
I shook my head. "No, I called her. After she read me the riot act for using her as an alibi without giving her a heads up, I asked her about everything she told AJ about me."
"And?"
"Nothing," I said flatly, stroking Pancake's head. "She said other than constantly asking how I was doing, the only other thing he asked was if I would go the town's centennial ball with her as his guest."
He nodded and braced his hands on his knees as he pushed himself up with a deep exhale. "So, he had you investigated. You and Greg both. He knows things about you. He knew where you and Greg were going to be in Florence. What your plans were." My eyes narrowed, the implication sinking in as he concluded, "He's been planning this – whatever this is – for months. Maybe longer."
A cold numbness settled into my bones as I whispered, "He murdered Gregory."
"And, that is why you will not continue using yourself as bait."
I met his serious gaze as I replied, "I need proof, Morris. I'm going to the opera with AJ tomorrow night." There was no way Morris could expect me to just walk away. Not now.
"Shit," he muttered as he rubbed the furrowed space between his eyebrows. He rolled his head from side-to-side and I heard the way several bones loudly popped. "Then, you're going in with the wire-"
"But, all you'll hear is Puccini!"
"-and a tracking device! The Dorothy Chandler Pavilion isn't Grenadine's! It's an enormous concert hall and I'll have no clear way to watch you!"
I rolled my eyes. "Morris, this is ridic-"
"Goddamn, Olivia! The man killed Greg!" My lips pressed into a thin line as Pancake lifted her head at the sound of his bellow. But, she and I were the only ones who did. Evy was God-knows-where and Casey and his family were on their way to the cabin in Tahoe. "He could've killed you in that accident too and- are you listening?" I nodded and he continued, his voice dropping to a tense whisper, "There is nothing stopping him from trying again."
A fuzzy memory of the weeks I spent in the Italian hospital came back to me. The pain. The medication. The confusion. The heavy numbness as I realized Gregory wasn't coming to my side. The fear in Casey and Sean's eyes.
The fear in Morris' eyes now. "If anything happened to you, I-"
I cleared my throat and whispered, "I'll wear the tracking device."
He inhaled sharply. "Thank you." He collapsed back onto the sofa and rubbed the back of his neck. I watched him carefully, seeing the bleary exhaustion on his face. It had been a late and stressful night for him too. "Hey. Why did Bette read you the riot act?"
With a grimace, I scratched Pancake's neck as I said, "Evy found out I wasn't with her last night. She thinks I was with AJ."
He swore beneath his breath and shook his head. "And, of course, you explained to your daughter that you weren't with AJ." I merely looked at him, letting my silence serve as my response. He groaned dramatically. "Why, Olivia?" Why are you letting your kids think you're seeing AJ?"
Pancake sat up and leaned against my chest, her head turning into my neck. "Because AJ killed their father. Because he almost killed me. AJ can't suspect we know the truth. Their anger at me gives them deniability. They truthfully know nothing about what I'm doing." I hugged the dog a bit closer as I murmured, "Knowing nothing will protect them from AJ."
A/N #2: The lyrics Olivia and Morris hear in the car are from "Moondance" (written by Van Morrison).
