(See the first chapter for disclaimer, notes, spoiler, etc.)
A/N: This chapter contains references to my earlier story, "The Way They Used to Be".
Chapter Twenty-One: "You Just Tremble"
Three Weeks Later
Evy
The clash of loud voices made her grimace and roll over, glaring at the sunlight invading the guest house. Benjy left the curtains open. Again. She groaned and pushed herself up, the sheets whistling as she kicked them down to the foot of the bed.
"So, she's living here now? Is that it?"
"No, Evy's not living here. She-"
"So, she hasn't stayed in my guest house every night for the last few weeks?"
She rubbed her face awake, blinking her swollen eyes as she heard Benjy retort, "Your guest house? Dad, anytime you want to join the conversation is fine with me."
"What Meg means," she heard Ben begin as she drew her knees up to her chest, "is that the situation is…delicate."
"Flowers are delicate. Babies are delicate. Evy and I have been dating for almost three months! Our situation isn't delicate!"
She smiled to herself and wrapped her arms around her legs. A moment later, Meg's voice exclaimed, "And, just what kind of example are you setting for your younger sisters?"
"Oh, come on! It's summer! Lizzie and Emma are wrapped up in their own lives and, I can assure you, have zero interest in who enters and leaves my guest house!"
"Ben!"
"Dad! We talked about this! We had an understanding that I was an adult and wasn't going to be subjected to anyone's Puritan rules!"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm prepping for the LSAT. I'm working at Liberty. Other than that, I'm essentially paying my own way. We agreed those were the only conditions of me living here."
"I'm going back in the house! Fix this, Ben!"
She sighed deeply and swung her legs over to the side, standing with another deep sigh. Glancing around, she saw Benjy's UC Berkley sweatshirt hanging from the knob of the dresser drawer. She reached out, shrugging into it as she heard Benjy ask, "Well, Dad?"
"I'll talk to her. The girls are fine. If Will's behavior hasn't educated them far beyond their years, then Evy staying here certainly won't. But son, listen to me…" She padded over to the door and leaned against the wall, still unseen but openly eavesdropping. "You don't want to put yourself in the middle of whatever drama is occurring with the Richards family. Trust me. I was Gregory's business partner for more than 20 years. It's better to stay out of whatever is going on with them."
She rolled her eyes and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Everyone always had opinions about other people's drama. Especially her family's. "Dad, I'm not 'in it'. I'm just giving my girlfriend a place to sleep." She beamed, still not bored with the bubbly sensation in her stomach when Benjy referred to her as "his girlfriend". "I promise. This isn't going to get in the way of the development project."
Several long moments of silence and she stepped closer to the French door, wondering if they had gone back into the house. "I'm not worried about the project, son. I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine, Dad. I promise. Just…can you keep Meg off my back?" She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as she heard Benjy say, "Thanks, Dad."
She combed her blonde hair with her fingers as she moved away from the door and wandered over to the wet bar. Benjy's had it set up to double as the kitchen area and she dropped a pod into the Keurig and placed a mug beneath the spout. She glanced up when the French door opened and Benjy came in. "You went running without me?" she announced as she coffee machine groaned and sputtered.
He came around the counter, his arms around her before he kissed her. "Only because you didn't wake up when I got up!" She giggled against his lips, her arms wrapped around his neck as he continued, "You didn't even stir when I stubbed my toe on the dresser and swore."
"Poor Benjy," she murmured, kissing him again. She wanted to get it over with, so her fingers danced through his hair at the nape of his neck as she said, "It sounded like things ended ok with you and Ben."
He rolled his eyes even as he nodded. "Yeah. Dad's fine. Meg's in one of her…moods. But, Dad's fine."
"Good." He cupped her face and looked deeply into her eyes, making her shiver. "I don't want to cause any problems between you and him."
"Evy-" he began and she shook her head.
"Don't 'Evy' me," she said, reaching up to take his hands. It was the saddest of ironies that Benjy was finally building a close relationship with his father at the same moment she was learning to live in a world without hers. With a quick smile to cover the sorrow, she squeezed his hands before she turned for the steaming mug of coffee.
"Everything's fine with me and Dad," he whispered in her ear as he hugged her from behind. She closed her eyes and leaned back against him, snug in his embrace as she clutched the mug to her chest. "And, I want things to be fine with you and Olivia too."
"Not now," she replied softly as she opened her eyes and took a deep sip of coffee. "I'm not properly caffeinated yet."
His lips tickled her ear as he whispered, "You love your mom. You know you do." She narrowed her eyes, listening, as he continued, "You were devastated when she barely spoke to you for a few days after she found out about Colombia. You've given her the same treatment for several weeks. How do you think she feels?"
A long beat of silence went by as his thoughtful question reverberated in her soul. It had been weeks. She cleared her throat as she raised the mug to her mouth. "Casey says she has dinner every night with AJ. She can't be too broken up about how things are between us."
He sighed and she had the distinct impression she had let him down with her reply. "Ok." His hands found her shoulders and he squeezed gently. "I've got a meeting with my study group at 10. What are we doing after?"
She shrugged and glanced over her shoulder. "Casey texted me late last night, after you went to bed. He wants us to come over, hang out at the house with him, Di, and the kids. Stay for dinner."
"And, Olivia?"
"Maybe. If AJ shows up for dinner though," she huffed, "I'm gone." Her jaw clenched, just imagining AJ Deschanel walking through Dad's home.
He sighed again, but said nothing else except to ask, "So, we'll go over when I get back from group?"
She put the mug aside and turned around, hugging him. "Let's have lunch before we go over. Just you and I."
She closed her eyes as he hugged her back, his arms tight around her, and he whispered, "Perfect."
Olivia
"How's the shoulder?" Natasha asked.
I shrugged as much as the face-down position would allow and murmured, "When I wake up at three in the morning, I consider how good it would feel to cut off my right arm." A memory of my mother in her small kitchen in London, hacking through a chicken with her meat cleaver, instantly came to mind. "The doctor says my right shoulder is as arthritic as a 90-year-old's.
"So," she replied after a moment as her fingers gently, but firmly, dug into a tender spot in my lower back, "pretty shitty, then?"
"I suppose you could say that." I closed my eyes as I inhaled sharply, feeling the pressure and pain reach a boiling point before it released.
"Just breathe through it," I heard her say encouragingly. "Wow. You are full of trigger points today. You just tremble no matter what area I work. What have you been up to since our last appointment?"
Charades.
Manipulations.
Lies.
Whoring myself out to the man who murdered my husband.
"Nothing special," I murmured. I inhaled deeply, taking in the delicate scent of the lavender essential oil wafting from the face cradle. "Nothing at all."
Just daily nights out with AJ.
Dinners that lasted for hours.
Laughing at his flat jokes.
Feigning attraction to him.
Leaning into his embrace.
Responding to kisses.
Letting his hands roam my body.
Staving off his attempts to get me into his bed.
My eyes open slightly, instantly thinking of two nights ago. AJ's frisky hands had danced a little too close to the wireless microphone clipped to my bra. I had frozen and all but jumped away from him, which was next-to-impossible to do, given the confined space of the chauffeured car's backseat. My thundering heartbeat had echoed in my ears as terror flooded my veins. AJ's confusion lasted only a moment before I had managed to force a chuckle from my throat and whispered, "Careful with my shoulder". Then, I had erased any of his confusion and questions as I slipped my leg over his and guided his hands to my hips, away from my bra.
"Well, whatever 'nothing' is, it's got you tied up in knots. Literally. We should talk about some holistic ways to lower your stress."
"You sound like my daughter-in-law," I replied as I closed my eyes again. "She sends me all kinds crystals and bundles of sage. I don't know what to do with any of it."
"Has she sent palo santo yet?" Natasha asked.
"Maybe," I hissed as her fingers dug into another tender spot. "I keep it all in a box in my office."
"Let's look at it later. You should seriously consider using some of it." Her hands stilled for a moment, resting in the small of my back. When I heard her take a deep breath and exhale slowly, I opened my eyes and gazed curiously at the floor. "Your chakras could use balancing too. I'm certified in reiki, if you're interested."
Natasha would get along splendidly with Shasta, I decided. "Perhaps we can talk about it next time," I sighed, closing my eyes again.
"Of course." A moment later, a comfortable silence swelled in the bedroom as Natasha resumed her battle against the tense muscles and inflamed tendons of my back. But, I knew it was futile. Nothing would take the knots out of my back. Nothing would lower my stress.
Nothing except seeing AJ suffer.
Seeing him pay for his sins.
Seeing him answer for Gregory's murder.
Caitlin
"Oh my gosh, Casey! Why do you look terrified?" She lowered her iPhone and grinned at her older brother as he shifted Rory in his arms. "If I didn't know you, I would swear you didn't have three of your own kids."
He chuckled nervously and looked up. "Give me a break," he retorted, his tone light for the baby's sake. "It's been 12 years since I held a baby."
She rolled her eyes and raised her phone, tapping the icon quickly to get a candid shot as he made a funny face for Rory's benefit. "Hmm. Seems to me it's the perfect time for you and Diana to fix that," she teased.
"Ha! Yeah right. Allie leaves in August for college. Why would Di and I want to start over?"
"Look up and smile!" She beamed at the image framed in the camera before she tapped the icon. Perfect. "Mom and Daddy did," she said softly, watching her brother and daughter through the camera. "Started over, I mean. Evy was seven months old when I came back from Paris for Sean's high school graduation." She swallowed a sigh, remembering how Sean plopped his graduation cap on Evy's head as he held her for one of the many photos Mom insisted he pose for by the school's chapel. It had been ridiculously oversized and slipped down, practically covering her entire face.
"They were far braver than Di and I are," he said quietly, holding Rory up to his shoulder as he rubbed her back.
She nodded and pressed the phone's power button before she shoved it in the back pocket of her jeans. "I think about them sometimes and about the huge age gap between Evy and us. But, they were brave. And…they wanted Evy more than anything." With a nervous chuckle, she shook her head and folded her arms against her chest. "But, I couldn't do it either. Start over with a new baby at the same time my other kids were ready to launch."
"The new house feels like a new kid though. So there's that."
She followed Casey over to the sofa and curled up in the corner, watching as Rory's head turned into his neck. "Next week. You excited?"
"Excited to stop writing checks to the contractor? Absolutely."
A shadow moved across his face and she reached out, nudging her foot against his. "And?"
He shrugged and glanced over. "With things between Olivia and Evy not back to normal, I wonder if it's the best time to leave?"
She nodded and hugged a plump pillow to her chest. "You have to live your life, Casey." Her fingers toyed with the fringed tassel as she suggested, "And, you know, Evy's got all of Daddy's temper and Mom's stubbornness. It's a terrifying combination."
"You think?"
They laughed softly together as their eyes met. "She still staying over at Benjy's?"
"Only on the nights Olivia goes out with AJ."
She narrowed her eyes. "So, she's at Benjy's every night?" With a deep exhale, she pinched the bridge of her nose and said, "Mom must love that."
"She won't talk to me about it. About Evy. I tried to, but-"
She leaned over, her hand on his forearm. "It's alright, Casey. You can't force Mom to do something she doesn't want to do. Believe me." His blue eyes darkened with pain as he leaned over, passing the nearly asleep baby back to her. As she cradled her daughter against her, she watched Casey run a nervous hand through his hair. "Thank you for helping me surprise them."
A half-smile danced on his lips as he muttered. "Surprise…that's one word for it."
"Shock, then?" she giggled, running her fingertip over her sleeping daughter's cheek. "Mom will be thrilled to see Rory. Evy too."
He leaned forward over his knees, his hands clasped. "Evy's coming over with Benjy after lunch." He chuckled beneath his breath and continued, "I may or may not have guilt tripped her in my text, but she replied earlier this morning to say she was coming by."
"Good," she said, clutching Rory to her chest. "Won't Mom be surprised when she comes down from her massage to find us here?"
Morris
"Excited to move into your new house?" he asked as he followed Nicola through the foyer.
She shrugged. "Kind of. I'll miss seeing Nana every day."
He nodded as she stopped in the open doorway to the patio. "I'm sure she'll miss you too. Good thing you'll be just a few streets over so you can walk over anytime, right?"
"I guess." She touched his forearm and looked up at him. He took off his sunglasses and looked down at her. She was 13, but extremely short for her age. Olivia's voice instantly echoed in his mind. Nicola is petite, Morris. She's not short. "You'll still come visit her every day, won't you?"
He grinned and put his arm around her, hugging gently. "Of course, I will. Your grandmother and I are friends."
Her only response was to look up at him, her eyes wide. "She's really sad though. She pretends she isn't. But, she is."
He knelt next to her, taking both of her hands within his left one. "Because of Poppop? Or Evy?"
"Both," she whispered. "Everyone pretends that things are fine. But, they're not. They haven't been for a really long time."
"Hi, Morris!"
He looked up as Casey's wife, Diana, walked over to them holding a pitcher and empty glass. "Strawberry-lime margarita?"
With a grimace, he shook his head as he pushed himself up. "That's a drink for ladies' night."
She rolled her eyes and muttered as she turned in the direction of the kitchen and muttered, "Ladies' night or not, they're pretty good." Over her shoulder, she called out, "I'll bring you a beer!"
"Thanks!" He glanced back down at Nicola and chucked her chin as he said softly, "Don't worry."
She glanced around, as if she was worried about being overhead, before she leaned in and whispered, "I asked Mom and Dad if I could leave my piano here. That way, I have to come over to practice and I can check on Nana while I'm here."
"Nicola," he began gravely as he saw Olivia out the corner of his eye, "I-"
"Don't tell anyone. Ok?" she asked, her suddenly high-pitched as she smiled widely.
"Morris." Olivia's dark sunglasses were like mirrors as he looked over, feeling Nicola's hand slip from his. "Are you staying for dinner?"
"Are you staying for dinner?" His tone was light, his expression jovial. But, he was serious. As serious as anyone could be.
She smiled tightly as she wrapped her arm around Nicola. "Yes. Caitlin is here for a visit. She brought the baby with her."
"Nice surprise," he mused innocently as he followed Olivia down the shallow steps. He wasn't that surprised. Once it became clear that Olivia's nights were occupied with AJ and Evy would not be returning home, he expected both of her older two children to come in from out of town. Casey nodded from the grill as he turned the steaks. The early evening sun glowed against the surface of the pool, making him squint. Hearing laughter, he narrowed his eyes and focused on the two people floating on rafts as Casey's two older children splashed through the water. "Evy's here."
"Yes." Olivia's clipped reply did a barely passable job at masking the anguish in her voice. She cleared her throat and looked down, the tight smile still stretched across her lips. "Why don't you go play in the pool, darling?"
Nicola glanced quickly at him before she nodded and trotted down the steps to the pool. "She's worried about you," he whispered as Olivia sighed and folded her arms against her chest.
"I don't want her worrying about me," she replied softly. "She's too young for that burden."
Pancake scampered over, excitedly jumping up on him. He chuckled and reached down, scratching behind the dog's ears as he heard Olivia continue, "I called AJ earlier to cancel our dinner plans for tonight. He wasn't happy."
"Imagine that," he muttered as the dog settled, deciding he had greeted her sufficiently before she moved to Olivia's side. "What exactly did he say?"
"That he was disappointed, but he understood."
"Did he now?"
She shrugged and glanced over. "I explained that Caitlin surprised us with a visit."
"Well, he wouldn't understand that. He doesn't have a relationship with any of his kids. At least, the kids he's publicly acknowledged." He shook his head as Olivia cleared her throat. It went unsaid that AJ had done the exact opposite of what Gregory had done after finding out about a child he fathered.
She sighed. "Be that as it may, while he feigned understanding, he sounded irritated."
"Of course he was. He's got you as his own private toy and now he has nothing to play with tonight."
He couldn't see her eyes, but he felt the glare crackle between them. "I'm not his plaything," she insisted. "I haven't gone to bed with him!"
"Maybe not, but you've all but suggested you would," he retorted, hearing the heat in his own words. "Do you even have a plan for what you're doing with him? Or are you just playing it minute-by-minute?" Her lips parted as she began to reply, but he plowed on. "And, what are you going to do when he gets annoyed with the games you've been playing the last few weeks? When he stops letting you play hard to get? When he does force you- to-"
"Enough, Morris," she hissed as her voice cracked. She took a deep breath and looked away as he rubbed his mouth, sighing deeply. "Enough."
But, it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. He had hours upon hours of sitting outside of restaurant after restaurant these last three weeks while she dined with AJ to think of an extraction plan for her. Despite the code word, listening to every word they uttered, and tracking Olivia through GPS, there was no way any extraction plan would save her. Not unless he was within five feet of her every moment and she would never let that happen. Just the thought of AJ undressing her… He cleared his throat and abruptly rolled his head, listening to the bones of his neck crack and pop.
"I know exactly what I'm doing," she said softly, her words strained. "Even if you don't."
"You're playing with fire is what you're doing," he hissed, reaching out as his hand wrapped around her wrist. "Fire, Olivia! You're going to get burned and I can't let that happen!"
She looked up slowly, her expressions suddenly drawn as his hand slipped down to hers. Her fingers laced through his as she whispered, "Do you remember years ago? It was the day I gave birth to Sean, but you took me to find Jeannie Harris at the park that morning?" He nodded, his memory instantly flashing to the way Olivia's pained looked up at him, her eyes shiny with tears. "You trusted me then to do something Gregory nor you wanted me to do."
"You were terrified," he said as he stepped closer, still holding her hand as her shoulders collapsed. "That woman was terrorizing you and Greg and-"
"Trust me now," she pled, squeezing his hand urgently. A warm sensation pulsed up his arm. "Please, Morris. Trust me."
"If anything happens-" he croaked, his voice thick. He didn't want to think of the multitude of things that could happen, of everything AJ could do to hurt her if he suspected she knew he murdered Greg. But, he was tortured with confronting every single possibility every night she went out with AJ.
"Trust. Me. Please?" She nodded and sniffed, almost as if she needed to convince herself as much as she needed to convince him.
"Everything alright, Mom?"
They both stepped back, away from each other, as if they had been caught in the middle of a secret. Caitlin had a polite smile on her face as she stood on the bottom step, her infant daughter in her arms. Olivia's hand fell away from his, a sudden emptiness filling him, as she cleared her throat and replied, "Of course, Caity! Darling, do you remember Morris?"
He smiled, remembering the little blonde child she had been once as she walked up the stairs to them. "Sort of?" She laughed beneath her breath as she continued, "I remember Maya from school more though. We connected on Facebook a few years ago, so I feel like I've seen you in pictures she's posted."
He watched as Olivia reached out, taking her youngest granddaughter into her arms. "Clearly, my lectures about Internet privacy went over her head," he joked, though his eyes were on Olivia. The baby was nestled against her chest as she pressed a kiss to her head. "It's nice to see you again," he said as he turned back to Caitlin.
Caitlin only beamed in reply before she turned to her mother. "Mom, let's go sit down by the pool." She glanced over at him and smiled. "You too, Morris."
"We'll be there in a moment, darling. I promise," Olivia replied. Her daughter nodded and went back to the pool, only glancing over her shoulder at them once. "Gregory loved being a father," she murmured, flashing a genuine smile at her youngest granddaughter. "But, he adored being a grandfather. Adored it. And, because of AJ, this little girl won't ever know what it was like to be adored by Gregory." He frowned as she looked up at him and continued, "It breaks my heart that Gregory won't know her. Won't get to see her grow up. Won't get to see any of his grandchildren grow up. Won't get to walk Evy down the aisle at her wedding."
"Olivia," he exhaled, knowing where this was going.
"AJ has to answer for Gregory, Morris. Please, trust me."
Olivia
Of course I lied to Morris. I was lying to everyone else. Why not him too?
Gregory would be furious if he was here. He was methodical, planning everything down to the tiniest detail. He'd be incensed to know I was rushing recklessly into a plan with AJ that I hadn't planned out to every last detail.
But, this was for him. Gregory was taken from his children. From his grandchildren.
From me.
And, AJ had to pay.
