If you don't hate me yet, you might be about it. Hold the pitchforks and sacrificial murders 'til the end, please.
Booth laughed as he and Hannah entered The Founding Fathers. She had made fun of him on the way over that he'd probably eat every meal here if she'd let him.
"We had lunch here yesterday." she'd teased as he'd spent ages painstakingly poring over the menu before calling in their order for pick up.
They approached the bar and greeted the regular bartender. "Are you meeting your partner?" he queried, and Booth shook his head, glancing around in search of the partner in question.
"Nah, we called in a takeout order. Under Burley." Booth explained. "Is Bones here?" he asked, looking around the bar again. The bartender nodded toward a dimly lit booth nearby, and Booth and Hannah both turned to look.
Bones was sitting somewhat sideways, turning so she could face the man she was with. Though he could only see the man's profile, Booth would know that annoying laugh coming out of his boss' face anywhere. Chuckles the fucking Clown… "That must be the new boyfriend Temperance was telling me about." Hannah murmured quietly. "Honestly, I thought she was making him up to save face about her little confession, but they look pretty cozy." she added, linking her arm through Booth's and leaning in closer to whisper.
"I find I am enjoying myself very much." They heard Bones say, her voice low and flirty and sending chills down Booth's spine as if she were talking to him instead of Hacker.
"If I may be so direct, I find that I am also enjoying myself very much." Hacker replied, and Bones laughed softly. How could she think that was funny? The fucking clown was mocking her. This was why she needed him around. She wasn't good at social interactions, and often missed when people were being sarcastic or making fun of her. He'd have his glare at the ready for just such occasions.
"I find I would like to go home now." She said, and Booth nodded to himself. Atta girl. Don't take that joker's bullshit. "Perhaps you'd like to join me? I find I would very much like to complete the evening with intercourse if you're amenable." She continued, her tone low and flirty, but her words direct and clinical. It was very much a Bones request.
Either way, Booth wanted to march over there and drag her away from Hacker. He inwardly scolded himself for acting like an overbearing father. 'Maybe I should call Max and have him scope out the guy.' He thought to himself. Max would see right through Hacker's awkward bullshit and sniff out the smarmy asshole for what he really was. Although, the last time a Deputy Director of the FBI got too close to the Brennan kids, he ended up gutted and burned on a pole. Booth didn't necessarily want that to happen to Hacker, but a solid beat down wouldn't be remiss. Taking Bones out on a couple of dates, okay, fine, but getting into her pants? No, that was not okay with Booth, and he really couldn't explain why.
"Do you think she talks like that in bed?" Hannah's whispered voice against his cheek dragged him out of his thoughts. "I find I would like an orgasm now, if you are amenable." she whispered in an obvious imitation of Bones. "You may perform cunnilingus on me for precisely three minutes." she giggled, and Booth shook his head, giving her a look that begged for her to cut it out. "Please stimulate my clitoris and bring me to completion now."
"Stop." Booth whispered back, pulling his arm out of her grasp. The bartender placed their takeout bags down in front of them and Booth snatched them up quickly, plowing out of the bar so quickly that Hannah had to jog to catch up to him at the car.
"What's wrong?" she asked as he roughly yanked open her door. "Does it bother you that your friend is having sex?" she asked, and he knew it was more of a loaded accusation. She'd been on the edge of insecure since he told her about Bones' confession, and he'd tried to do what he could to make her feel safe in their relationship again.
"No, I just don't like you standing there making fun of her." he told her firmly, slamming her car door before she could respond and walking around to his own door.
"I was just joking. I like Temperance." she said lamely, obviously knowing she was wrong. "Actually, I invited Temperance and her boyfriend to dinner next week. We have reservations on Wednesday night at Antonio's." she told him, and he felt like he'd been punched in the gut again as he started to drive away from the restaurant. "It was funny. I suggested a double date, and she was so confused. She thought I was suggesting we swing." Hannah laughed, and Booth tried to tune her out. "Unsurprisingly, she was actually alright with the idea, but she didn't think you'd be ok with it."
Booth whipped his head around at her briefly before glaring back at the road. "Just… stop, alright? You're not in competition with her, so please just stop taking potshots." he said, speaking carefully so as to not raise his voice.
"Fine." She muttered, crossing her arms petulantly, but he wasn't entertaining her shit tonight. He was in no mood to play reassuring boyfriend when she'd gone and invited Hacker on fucking date with them. Three days from now he'd have to spend god only knows how long making small talk with the smarmy asshole.
"Ah, if it isn't my bed." Andrew joked, gesturing to her sofa as they entered her apartment. They'd had two dinner dates since the night he'd brought her home, but this was the first time they'd returned to the scene of the vomit crime.
Brennan tilted her head for a moment, unsure what he was saying before laughing. "That's humorous. Because you slept there last weekend." She said, and he smiled, nodding encouragingly. "Would you like a drink?"
"Sure." he agreed, as she slipped her heels off and walked into the kitchen, retrieving a bottle of red wine and two glasses.
"Perhaps, not too much. I would like to refrain from vomiting on you again." she joked as she handed him the glass and sat next to him on the sofa, carefully tucking one of her legs under her so she could face him.
"Yes, I think just enough to calm the nerves." Andrew agreed, blushing a little as he rested a hand on her bare knee. She wondered why he would be nervous. Perhaps he was self-conscious about his body.
Brennan smiled at him as she leaned forward to place her glass in the coffee table and covered his hand with hers, giving him an encouraging squeeze. "You have no need to be nervous." She murmured, leaning over and brushing her lips across his. Encouraged, he slid his hand higher, toying with the hem of her dress. It was a simple shirt dress, and she'd selected it because it was both alluring and easily removed with a line of buttons going straight up the front.
Brennan pushed herself up onto her knees, leaning further into Andrew's body and deepening the kiss. She sighed as she pressed her chest against him and opened her mouth, nipping at his bottom lip. "Touch me." she murmured against his lips when his hand remained respectfully just shy of her dress hem. She'd known he was a little shy, but he seemed hesitant despite her obvious interest, so she covered his hand with her own, guiding it under her dress and up the outside of her thigh to cup her lace clad bottom. He smiled against her lips as they kissed, squeezing her gluteus firmly, finally seeming to understand that his touch was not only permitted, but entirely welcome.
When he failed to move any further than kissing after several moments, Brennan leaned back slightly, looking into his dark eyes as she slowly unbuttoned her dress all the way down. "Holy crap." He sighed, swallowing so hard she heard the gulp as his eyes traveled down her body.
"Thank you." she replied confidently. She knew she had an attractive body, but it was always nice to be complimented, and his stunned expression was most certainly a compliment. "A combination of genetics and a healthy lifestyle contributed to your enjoyment of the view tonight." she joked, proud of her witty and spontaneous response. She almost glanced around, looking for Booth to see his reaction to it, when her brain caught up with her and remembered Booth wasn't there.
"You are beautiful, Temperance." he told her, sounding awed, but he continued to sit there, his eyes following the lines of the open front of her dress and back up again.
Biting her bottom lip she tilted her head to the side and studied him. Was she moving too quickly for him? She had thought they'd both been equally direct about what they wanted before leaving the restaurant. "Do you want to have sex with me, Andrew?" she asked, feeling suddenly self conscious for possibly misunderstanding.
"Are you kidding me? I definitely want to have sex with you." he told her firmly, smiling as he let his eyes devour her body once more. "I'm just a little… out of practice, to be completely honest." he confessed, and she nodded. She could sympathize with that plight.
"Me too. It's been quite some time since I've engaged in any kind of mutual sexual activity." She admitted. "I might be somewhat over eager tonight." she added, leaning forward and kissing him again. "I hope you don't mind." she murmured against his lips.
Andrew chuckled, and brushed her hair behind her ear. "Let's take it slow and enjoy it then." he told her, and she nodded, even if slow was quite possibly the last thing she wanted. Apparently feeling bold, he slid his hands to her waist and pulled her toward him, guiding her to straddle his legs. That was certainly more like it.
Brennan threaded her fingers into his curls and leaned down to capture his mouth again, kissing him as she lowered herself into his lap. His groaning response at the pressure against his hardening arousal was encouraging, and she rolled her hips, enjoying the friction of the lace against her skin. "Wow… that's. Wow." Andrew muttered as she moved from his mouth to kiss along his jaw and throat.
"Are you going to take this off?" she asked innocently when his shirt collar got in the way of her path to his chest. Nodding rapidly, he leaned forward, releasing her waist to grip the hem of his polo and pull it over his head. His body was adequate, though she could see the years behind a desk without compensating for the lack of physical activity reflecting in his physique. Instead of commenting, she rolled her hips against his erection again, moaning loudly as she guided his hands to her breasts, still encased in black lace.
Leaning down to meet his mouth again, she rocked gently against his lap tentatively a few times until he began to return the movements, grinding against her. "Wow, that feels…so nice." he said, followed by a long moan.
"I'm evidently responding quite rapidly to your touch, Andrew." she told him, feeling her arousal pooling between her thighs. "I want you to fuck me." she whispered against his mouth, hoping her penchant for 'talking dirty' wouldn't scare him off. Most of her partners enjoyed it, and though she didn't typically put much stock in psychology, she'd seen tangible proof of the way both she and her partners reacted to mental stimuli. The brain had been proven to be just as much a participating sexual organ as actual sexual organs, according to the studies she'd read about why "dirty talk" was so popular.
Reaching between them in search of his zipper, she could feel both of their arousal evident through the remaining layers of clothing, and ground her hips against him again for good measure. "You're so hard, Andrew." she moaned, even more excited by how responsive he'd been thus far. It truly had been a very long time.
Truth be told, she'd thought for a long time that the next man she'd sleep with would be Booth, but that was certainly no longer in the cards. Somehow, in her imagination, sex with Booth was never anything like her previous partners. Even the foreplay with imaginary Booth had been nothing like the motions she was going through with Andrew. In her fantasy world, she and Booth needed very few words, somehow naturally in tune with each other. Trying to remind herself that this was real life and a real life man, who was not Booth, was currently under her, she let her head fall back, exposing her throat to him, and gyrated against his lap once more.
"Oh my god." he groaned, his grip on her hips tightening as he screwed his eyes shut tight and shuddered under her. "Damnit." he cursed under his breath, exhaling slowly and releasing his grip on her hips.
"What's wrong?" she asked, wondering why he was suddenly avoiding her gaze and his hands had gone completely slack at his sides. "Uhm… oh." she said, as she felt the growing wetness on the front of his khakis. His penis had clearly begun to make its descent into its flaccid state.
"I'm so sorry." he said, his eyes wide. "I've never done this before." he added, his eyes wide with panic.
She wanted to reassure him that it wasn't the end of the world, or the end of their evening, even. "Andrew, it happens to everyone. It's not a big deal. I'm sure it's happened before. Do you know what your refractory time is? Perhaps, another glass of wine and…" she started to suggest, leaning forward to kiss him.
"No…" he started, and she wanted to roll her eyes. Fragile male egos were not on her agenda tonight.
"There's no need to be bashful. We can still enjoy ourselves while you recover." she assured him, rubbing her hands over his chest. She knew that with her current level of arousal, even digital stimulation would provide an adequate first orgasm.
"Temperance, no. You're misunderstanding. This has never happened to me before because I've never, uh… I've never been with anyone in– in this capacity." he stammered, and she tried to follow his meaning. He must have seen her confusion on her face because he stopped and took a deep breath. "Direct, right? I have never had sexual intercourse with a woman before."
"You typically prefer men?" she asked, wondering if that was the case why he'd ejaculated so prematurely with her. Perhaps he was bisexual and simply not had the opportunity to explore this side of his sexuality. She knew Angela typically preferred men, but enjoyed women when she had the opportunity just the same.
"No. I very much like women. I like you, very, very much, obviously…" he said, glancing down at his likely uncomfortable pants. "I've never had sex. At all." he explained, and she felt like she should say something, but she wasn't entirely sure what the appropriate response was. She wondered if it would be appropriate to go call Angela and ask her, but she didn't know a good way to excuse herself either.
"Ok." she said, nodding slowly. "Well, speaking from experience, this…" she gestured to his lap, "this isn't that big of a deal. There are alternative methods of providing each other with sexual stimulation until such time that your erection returns and penile penetration can occur." she explained, feeling it best to take on her professor role. Clear and concise instruction would be necessary if she wanted to climax this evening and show Andrew that this wasn't such really anything to be embarrassed about.
"You're not upset?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "You don't want me to leave?"
"I would be extremely upset if you did leave. Though you've already achieved an orgasm, I am still incredibly aroused and unsatisfied." she told him frankly. Huffing, she removed her unbuttoned dress and let it fall to the floor.
"Well, we can't have that, can we?" he teased, and she shook her head. Tentatively, he slid his hand between her thighs, his lips parted and his eyes widened with wonder when his fingers stroked over the wet lace there. Had he never touched a woman either? This may prove to be a long night. She only hoped he had a steep learning curve.
Brennan sat at her desk, trying to focus on her report and shifted uncomfortably in her seat for the umpteenth time.
"Sweetie!" Angela's sing-song voice carried as her friend entered her office. "You look exhausted. Shall I take that as a sign that you rode Deputy Dick all night?" she asked, and Brennan glared at her. How dare she be so chipper. "What?" she asked defensively, sitting down across from Brennan and raising her brows at the angry expression being directed her way.
"Angela, I am even more sexually frustrated now than I was before the evening began." she said through clenched teeth, crossing her arms petulantly. It wasn't fair.
"Was Deputy Dick a Puny Pete?" Angela asked, her face etched with concern.
"I don't know what that means." Brennan said, becoming more frustrated. She understood the question was about Andrew, as she, Angela, and Cam had come up with the clever moniker for him over drinks one evening before she'd left for Maluku, but she had no idea who Peter was.
"His penis, Sweetie. Was it small?" she clarified and Brennan shook her head, explaining that Andrew's penis seemed perfectly proportionate to his body and would have adequately satisfied her had it ever made it out of his pants. She explained the delicate situation that had occurred, and how she'd wished she could have called Angela for advice, but she felt she had been tactful nonetheless.
"So I encouraged him to digitally stimulate me while he recovered from his orgasm, but it was awful. It was… I need an adequate metaphor." Brennan said, looking around her office for inspiration. "Have you ever stuffed a turkey?" she asked, and Angela's eyes widened with horror.
"Oh, Brennan. I'm sorry." Angela said, rising from her seat to stand behind her friend, rubbing her tense shoulders in a comforting gesture. Brennan sighed, relaxing into the touch.
"You better be careful, Ange. I'm so I'm edge, if you keep touching me, I might take you home to my bed." Brennan teased, trying to lighten the mood.
"And I wouldn't stop you." she teased back. "God, did he at least know where to find your clit?" Angela asked, and Brennan groaned loudly, frustration growing anew as she had to relive the horrible night.
"I kept directing him to it, but he was very focused on the…" Brennan sighed loudly, leaning forward and pressing her forehead against her desk.
"Turkey stuffing?" Angela offered, providing her with their earlier euphemism. Brennan nodded silently, not bothering to lift her head from the hard surface. "Okay, well, I mean it's not the end of the world. You can always try it again. Maybe with the right guidance, he'll be able to get the job done. You're a good teacher. Go forth and teach!"
"You think I should give it another chance?" Brennan asked incredulously. "I had intended to hide in the lab for a while and hope he found someone else to ejaculate upon." she suggested, though she was joking, she had considered it.
"You like him, correct?" Ange asked, and Brennan nodded. She did like Andrew, in every room but the bedroom. "Then you give him another chance, and if he's still a dud, we'll kick him to the curb, and I'll find you someone who knows what he's doing to scratch that little itch." Angela told her reassuringly. Angela could most certainly be relied upon to introduce her to an artist who would most definitely know his way around the Kama Sutra. If it were only about the sex, and forging a meaningful relationship with someone other than Booth hadn't been on her agenda, she'd be telling Ange to pull out her black book immediately.
As soon as Angela left her office, Brennan picked up her phone and texted Andrew, inviting him over for drinks and sex. Perhaps if he had the entire day as warning, he'd have time to prepare and do adequate research, and she wouldn't have to fake an orgasm and tell him she had to be up early for work. She had made use of a rather unique toy that applied both suction and penetration, which had been sufficient in achieving her goal; however, there was no substitute for the real thing.
"Hey." A tentative knock on her door drew her attention out of her thoughts, and she looked up at Booth standing in her doorway. "Got a body in a barrel of acid. You want in on this one?" he asked, and she thought about their last conversation, how it had ended in a screaming match. "I mean, I can take one of your baby squints, but there's no good substitute for having the real deal." he added, flashing his charm smile at her. He had no idea just how accurate his comment was..
She eyed him skeptically, knowing they'd need to make peace eventually, especially if they were supposed to be having a double date tomorrow night. It would be nice to work on a case instead of Limbo bones. It had been over a week since she'd gotten her hands dirty. "I do enjoy bodies in barrels of acid." she said slowly, rising from her seat.
"That's my girl!" he said excitedly, clearly happy she'd agreed. Perhaps, he too, was feeling the strain of their argument.
"But I'm not your girl. Hannah is your girl. I am Andrew's girl… so to speak… however neither Hannah nor I are technically girls. We're women." she told him, and he nodded impatiently, helping her with her coat. "But I understand that was a common colloquialism." she added, offering him a lopsided smile.
"Yea, listen, Hannah told me about this double date thing… are you sure you're ok with it?" He asked as they walked side by side toward the exit.
"Yes, of course. I am looking forward to having dinner with you and Hannah and then having sex with only Andrew afterwards." she told him matter-of-factly, and frowned when he seemed to choke. "Are you ok?" she asked, patting his back as he nodded rapidly.
"Yea, it should be good. You and, uh, Hacker huh?" he asked, and she nodded. She knew he'd been uncomfortable with her dating his boss initially, but he'd stressed that it was because they'd only have him to discuss. She took pride in the fact that they'd not spoken much about Booth at all, in fact.
"Yes." she agreed. "Me and Andrew." They walked in silence until they arrived at his SUV and she tossed her kit in the trunk. "Booth, are you ok with it?" she asked as he climbed into the driver's seat. "Because if you're not…" she started, trying to read his face for any indication of his thoughts.
"Listen, you can date whoever you wanna date, Bones." he stated definitively, and she felt her brow furrow in confusion and further irritation that he still thought he had any right to dictate that, despite their recent argument.
"I know." she bit back, not meaning to sound as sharply as she had. "I don't need your permission. Just as you do not require my permission to date whomever you like. I was simply asking if you were comfortable with going on a double date with your boss." she clarified, and he sighed. She took that as an indicator that he was probably not.
"Am I ok hanging out with my boss outside of work? No, not really. Am I going to put up with it because my best friend is scr- dating the guy? Yes. Because I know you would do and have done the same for me." he explained. "And I'm sorry about how I reacted to you guys seeing each other again, okay? It was just… unexpected." he said, his voice softer as he pulled out into traffic. "Are we ok?" he asked, and she observed him carefully.
"I suppose." she agreed. "I'm not sure why you are so upset about me dating your boss. You dated mine." she pointed out, and watched as his jaw ticked.
"Yea, well, I mean, I knew Camille long before she was ever your boss. It's a little different…" he told her and she nodded thoughtfully. "Doesn't matter though. If you're happy, I'm happy. Hacker makes you happy, hey, I can… I mean I don't like the guy, but I can try, ok? For you, I'll make the effort." His words sounded sincere and she nodded thoughtfully.
"Yes, I understand the difficulty you face having to spend time with someone you dislike. I dislike nearly everyone I meet, and find it cumbersome to have to socialize with anyone outside of my small social circle." she confessed, hoping her understanding would put him at ease. "I'm glad we're able to bury the axe, Booth." she told him. "I find it very stressful being angry with you."
"Bury the hatchet." He corrected her softly. "And I don't like it when you're mad at me either." he admitted, reaching over and playfully grabbing her knee, wiggling it back and forth. "I'm glad we can move forward and keep our friendship and partnership intact, Bones." he told her.
"Yes, I understand now how difficult it must have been for you when you confessed your feelings for me, to continue to see me each day, not to mention witnessing me engaging in a romantic relationship with another man. It's been… exceedingly difficult for me as well." she confessed quietly.
"Yea, you know— I, uh, I know how much that can hurt, and I want you to know that I would never want to hurt you. Just like, uh, I know you didn't mean to hurt me back then either." he told her, and she nodded. That was true. She had never wanted to see him in pain. She was glad they'd had the chance to have this conversation. Though she still felt the unpleasant pang in her chest when she saw Hannah and Booth together, she understood that he wasn't entirely oblivious to the feeling.
Brennan sat at her kitchen counter next to Andrew, nursing her wine as he drank a scotch. They'd shared several heated kisses between their conversation, and she'd been very direct in her text this morning. She wanted to have drinks and sex with him. His willingness to show up was promising, so long as they could get past the foreplay tonight. "Why don't we move into the bedroom?" Brennan suggested, rubbing her hand up and down his thigh, carefully avoiding going too high until he actually removed his pants.
Andrew nodded, placing his glass on the counter and smiling at her as she took his hand and led the way. He stood awkwardly by the bed, and she wondered if she'd been this uncomfortably awkward during her first time. Michael Stires had been very patient with her, though she'd done thorough research and had decided she would like to have sex with him long before they'd actually begun their sexual relationship. He'd shown her exactly what he liked and had even introduced her to a number of the things she still liked.
Brennan reached for the hem of her dress and slipped it over her head as she approached Andrew. She'd made the conscious decision to forgo a bra and panties, hoping the simplicity of it would help the progression of the evening. Based on his previous performance, additional stimuli was unnecessary and actually a hindrance. "Wow." he whispered, hurriedly removing his knit sweater and white t-shirt. Brennen reached for the fastening at the top of his pants and let them fall to the floor. She could see the outline of his erection through his black boxer briefs, and involuntarily groaned with anticipation.
She kneeled onto her bed and reached for his hand, pulling him toward her so he also knelt on the bed. Kissing him softly, she pulled him against her and guided them both down onto top of the plush duvet. "Breathe, Andrew." she whispered with a laugh, stroking her hands down his back soothingly as he hovered over her body, pressing his forehead against her shoulder. She cradled his hips between her thighs, refraining from adding any friction until he'd reined in his control. When he raised his face to look into her eyes, she smiled and tilted her face up to kiss him, sliding her hands down his back and helping him remove his boxers.
Brennan slid her hand behind his neck, pulling his face down to his and kissing him while her other hand held his, guiding his fingers between her thighs. After what felt like an eternity of silently guiding his fingers where and how she wanted them, she decided to forgo this particular activity and try the very basics. Reaching over to her nightstand, she pulled open the drawer and retrieved a condom. Guiding him to move up onto his knees, she sat up slightly and ripped the package open, meeting his burning gaze as she carefully sheathed his erection. She really, really didn't want him orgasming in her hand tonight.
Lying on her back and tugging the sheets up around her chest, Brennan glared at the sleeping man next to her. How was it possible that a biological imperative required for the survival of the species was so difficult for one otherwise viable specimen? It was completely illogical. He was intelligent, kind, and well endowed with an above average sexual organ, but from an evolutionary standard, he'd be culled from the herd, and his line would die off before he found a mate to impregnate. Granted, his orgasm did occur during penetration this time, and had they not used protection, he could have extended the life of his gene pool, but if he'd been unsuccessful in the wild, he would be unlikely to get a second chance with the mate of his choice.
Brennan huffed, sliding her hand under the sheet and between her thighs. This had never happened to her before. She knew she was a beautiful woman, with whom men enjoyed intercourse, but she'd never been left so wildly disappointed. Not since the classmate she'd had sex with following her breakup from Michael. Even the twenty-something geology major had known that she hadn't finished with him and had brought her to orgasm through oral stimulation. Andrew, if his comments following his orgasm were any indication, had felt their intercourse, lasting all of 45 seconds, had been incredible.
She knew they needed to have a conversation about this. Perhaps she could provide some literature. Angela had left some Cosmopolitan magazines around here somewhere.
