It's an unusually warm and muggy day and after spending an hour on the back deck meditating, Sharon gives up, too distracted by the unrelenting heat to gain much benefit from her efforts. The photos she took along the shore the past two nights need to be printed, at least the good ones, so she sets about doing that, examining each of them to determine if she will paint another sunset, or find inspiration elsewhere. It doesn't take her long to realize her inspiration is right outside the front door working on a project in the driveway. She grabs two bottles of cold water from the fridge and makes her way to the porch swing, slipping out the screen door discretely so that Andy doesn't know she's there.
Sometimes she likes to watch him do things. Nothing in particular, just things that Andy does. Today he's tinkering with an old jeep that he purchased a month ago. It's sat to the side of the driveway the whole time he's owned it since it doesn't run. The tow truck had pulled it to that spot and left it, the owner happy to get rid of it. It has more rust than paint and the removable top disappeared a long time ago, but he doesn't care. He won't tell her why he bought it, just that "It's a surprise." The bench seat in the front is ripped but he purchased a straight-from-the-1960s cover, which is the only thing worth looking at on the jalopy, even though it is extremely psychedelic.
Sharon sits on the swing observing him, the two bottles of water sweating on the weathered wooden railing. The heat is stifling, and it isn't long before Andy pulls the light blue v-neck t-shirt he's wearing over his head, wiping his brow with it before tossing it to the porch.
"Oh, hey, babe, didn't know you were there," he says startled to see her. "Did you need something?"
"No, just thought I'd watch you for a while," she replies in a pleasant tone, holding his gaze. His eyes have a way of smiling at her no matter the expression on his face and looking into them has always brought her contentment.
"Aren't you bored?"
"Nuh-uh," she shakes her head, watching a bead of sweat run from his chest down to the waistband of his shorts. "Just pretend I'm not here, Andy." Like he could ever pretend such a thing.
"I'll try my best," he replies, rolling his eyes and chuckling to himself as he turns back to the jeep.
Sharon never expected it to be this easy. At first the idea that she had to depend on someone else for basic things repulsed her. A long time ago, long enough ago that she can't even remember exactly when it happened, she stopped leaning on others. It probably was around the time that she realized Jack had some serious issues. At first, she blamed herself and constantly tried to help him, but he kept drinking and gambling and disappearing for days on end, leaving her alone with the children, trying to work a full-time job, and worrying about him. It was like having three children instead of two. Actually, it was worse than that. The man who was supposed to be her equal, her partner, the father to her children, was none of those things. Jack knew how to take but gave very little in return. He was a disappointment, a mistake, one she swore to never make again. And when she wanted to divorce him, he threatened to take half of everything she had. Hadn't he taken enough from her already? It was easier to ignore him, cut him loose, and pretend she wasn't married anymore. In her heart, their marriage was over, and she didn't need the court to tell her that.
For years that was enough for her. Jack didn't bother to see the children, and she didn't bother to make excuses for him. Occasionally he would show up, beg for a roll in the hay, a place to crash to sleep off a hangover, or sometimes even a loan, usually to cover a gambling debt and keep his legs intact. She'd tell him to get lost and after a lot of whining on his part, he would disappear again.
As she rose through the ranks of the LA police force, she became more confident and independent with each passing year. She always thought she had enough satisfaction in her life, including two wonderful children who went on to amazing careers, and then Rusty, who had overcome a rough upbringing. Her own career reached a pinnacle when she was named head of the Major Crimes Division. It was an opportunity to work with the city's best detectives and lead that division in a way no one had ever done before. At first many of them resisted the changes she wanted to make, especially Andy and Provenza, but as they learned to work together, they developed a great deal of respect for one another and became like family.
Andy had his own problems with alcohol but had been sober for years. He had taken a weakness and turned it into a strength, using his own experience as an addict to help when dealing with certain types of suspects. Andy did what Sharon always hoped Jack would do – pull himself out of the darkness and move forward. Andy was estranged from his daughter but tried to make amends, although he was frustrated at times. When he asked for Sharon's help with that matter, she was there for him. He wasn't perfect, he'd made some terrible mistakes, but he took responsibility for them and worked to make things better.
When Andy became ill and needed supervision during his recovery, it felt natural to offer him a place in her condo. She was a captain that took care of her subordinates, a mother that took care of her children, and a friend that watched after her loved ones. Andy belonged in more than one of those categories even though neither was ready to admit it. For the first time in years, she had a man living in her home and even though there was nothing intimate about their relationship yet, she enjoyed the company. Based on the amount of time they spent talking together, Andy enjoyed it just as much as she did.
One day they realized that their feelings for each other went beyond friendship. They officially began to date, but she never once felt the urge to lean on him for anything. Maybe that was because she had been on her own for so long, or maybe because she was still leery from the disappointment of Jack Raydor. Probably a little bit of both.
Even when Andy proposed, there was never any hint of her changing her independent ways. She continued to lead Major Crimes, being promoted to Commander, and set to work planning her wedding. But when she was diagnosed with her heart condition, everything changed in an instant. Never wanting to be a burden on anyone, she tried to push Andy away. Who would want to marry someone that was so sick? It made perfect sense to give him an out, let him move on from her, and eventually find someone that would be around for a very long time. She was genuinely shocked when he insisted they go through with the wedding. What she was dealing with would not be faced alone, Andy by her side for love and support. It was up to her to let him into her life completely, something she hadn't done since Jack, and because of that miserable marriage, something she had little interest in doing again.
"It's us together, Sharon," Andy told her. "I won't let you down." Of course he wouldn't. He didn't have to remind her that he wasn't Jack, but the implication was there in his words.
So she took a deep breath and let that final barrier around her heart crumble away, allowing Andy to step through to be with her. It wasn't as unnerving as she thought it might be. In fact, it felt like it was always supposed to be that way between them. He didn't expect anything in return, satisfied to love her and be that person she needed to lean on. "In sickness and in health," he reminded her. "We're just doing the sickness part first."
Then the impossible happened - she fell even more in love with him. She let him take care of her. She confided in him, cried to him, let him wrap his protective arms around her, and trusted him. She shared her vulnerability with him, and he didn't take advantage, abuse it, or use it against her. No, he wasn't Jack. Loving Andy so completely taught her some important lessons: it's okay to ask for help, to not have to be everything to everyone all the time, to put her own needs first, and that dependable people still exist in the world. In Sharon's life, that person is Andy.
After fetching her camera from inside the cottage, she returns to her seat on the swing. Andy tinkers on the jeep and grumbles to himself every time he tries to turn the engine over but fails. She snaps a few photos, determined to capture his many moods, even the ones where he glares at the jeep in frustration that he can't get it to run.
"Did you put gas in it?" she calls from the porch.
He turns to her and gives her a look that she saw many times as Commander of Major Crimes. "Of course I put gas in it," he replies, pretending like he's not the slightest bit annoyed at the question.
"You sure?" she presses.
"Did I put gas in it?" he chuckles to himself, walking from the engine to the driver's seat. "You bet I did," he mumbles, smiling her direction knowing he's about to prove to her that he wouldn't forget something that obvious. Except that when he checks the gas gauge, it reads as empty.
A little smirk appears on her lips as his head drops at the realization that he neglected the basic rule of owning a vehicle. Her eyes follow him as he walks to the porch and picks up his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. Taking the seat next to her on the swing, he holds her hand in the way that he does when he is about to admit that she's right about something. "I need to run into town to fill the gas can. Would you care to join me?"
"I will on two conditions," she replies with a tilt of her head, her eyebrows raised anticipating his response.
"What might those conditions be?" he asks before pulling her hand to his mouth and brushing his lips on her knuckles.
"You've been working out here for a long time and you need to stay hydrated," she nods toward the bottles on the railing.
"That's simple enough," he smiles, reaching for a bottle and downing half of it in one long sip. "And the other condition?"
She hums while her eyes playfully search his face before settling on his mouth. His lips are still cold from the water he drank, and she makes it her mission to warm them up, pressing her mouth against his, drawing his lower lip into her mouth until she hears him groan. Like two teenagers sitting on the porch after a date, they make-out for several minutes, exchanging loving glances between kisses when they come up for air.
Finally satisfied that her conditions have been met, she rises from the swing to retrieve the car keys from inside the cottage.
"Hey, where you going?" Andy asks, tugging at her hand when she attempts to walk by.
"To get the keys," she responds matter-of-factly, leaning down to kiss him again.
"What for?"
"So we can go to town and get gas," she giggles, watching the expression on his face change.
"Right, guess I forgot. Lost my focus for a while. I tend to do that around you," he admits, stroking his thumb on the back of her hand before reluctantly letting go.
