Author's Note: I don't think I can express how bad of an anime adaptation One Piece is. In writing this fic, I've been reading the manga because it's been over ten years since I've watched it. The most egregious is the exclusion of the cover stories about characters after their encounter with the Straw Hats. I had no clue Django had a whole dance competition that he won and made friends with before being chased by marines. I had no idea about this, and it's brilliant and I feel robbed that it was left out. Plus, the pacing is way better along with the artwork. I know Oda doesn't have the best anatomy, but it works way better on the page in my opinion. If you're an anime only kind of person, I'm not here to diss you, but I highly encourage you to read the manga. It's a real treat. And a lot of the frustrations I had with One Piece that culminated in me taking a long hiatus from the series will go away when reading instead of watching. It's such a shame because the anime could be better.
Chapter Nine: Chopper & Mr. 2
"How did you survive that avalanche?" Vivi asked.
"A tall, dark, handsome stranger saved me," she said. "I think."
"You think ?" Usopp asked.
"I don't know. I've been bugging lately because I've been off my meds," she said flippantly.
Usopp spluttered, and Vivi looked concerned. Zoro simply smirked, looking quite amused as she let herself laugh. Good, she wasn't the only one who found it funny. It's just a little funny, come on.
"Silas, that's not funny. That's really serious," Usopp said.
"Is it though? It makes life a little more fun."
"That's not what's amusing," Zoro said. "Some guy rescued you?"
"Yeah, are you jealous because handsome men don't want to save you?" she asked flippantly with an amused smile.
This time Vivi and Usopp giggled as Zoro looked mortified. Served him right. If he wanted to make fun of her then he can get made fun of too. He wasn't the loquacious type, so in any verbal argument she'd come out as victor. She was sure of it.
"What?" he scoffed, clearly trying to recover.
"It's okay. Maybe one day, handsome men will try to save you too. I believe in you."
He puffed out his chest and said angrily, "I don't want—"
"Hey, where did Dalton go?"
She looked around, walking forward to get a better look as she heard a swinging sound near her head and then a disgruntled voice. Odd. Then, she finally saw Dalton trying to stand and push away the doctors who were trying to help him.
"There you are," she said, brushing past an off-balance Zoro and walking up to the man she'd been looking for. "What are you doing?"
"I have to get up that mountain."
"You're in no shape to fight."
"I don't care. I can't let Wapol take the Drum Kingdom again."
She could see the pain and guilt weighing him down – literally in this case. She wondered why he felt so personally responsible. He seemed the most bothered out of all the higher ups on Drum Island. Was he more involved than the others? Probably. If she was a guessing person, she'd say so. She could understand that guilt and pain. She felt a pull at her heart strings.
"Want me to carry you?"
"What? You'd do that?"
"Yeah, why not?" she shrugged. "I don't got any plans."
Just before she was about to pick up Dalton someone cleared their throat loudly. She looked over, and it was someone she didn't expect to step up.
"No, let me, Silas!" Usopp said, puffing his chest out and putting his hands on his hips. She assumed he was trying to be authoritative. "As a brave man, it my duty to—"
"Since when were you brave?" she asked neutrally.
"What?" he asked, thrown off. "I've always been a brave man. You'll see."
She stepped forward into his space, channeling the scariest man she'd ever experienced's sternness and intimidation through her expression and eyes, especially the eyes. She saw the fear in Usopp's eyes and that's when she said:
"Boo."
Usopp screamed and flew backwards about twenty feet behind him. She started to laugh hysterically. Normally, she didn't like to pick on the cowardly, but he set himself up so perfectly. It was all good fun. She doubted he saw it that way, but she offered him her hand to which he grumbled considerably about.
"That wasn't funny," Usopp said, taking her hand.
"It kinda was," she said, giving him a toothy grin. "No hard feelings, right?" She gave him a wink.
"Enough you two," one of the doctors said. They all looked to him with easily gained attention. "There's a lift to get up to the castle without going through the mountain and rapid rabbits. I can't stop you, Dalton, but I recommend you stay under our care."
"No, I'm going– ahhh!"
She lifted him and threw him over her shoulder. She realized she wasn't too gentle given the way he screamed. Oh, oops.
"Where's the trolley?" she asked.
"Uh, over there."
She walked over and put him down onto the trolley, and he grunted in pain. She supposed she could be a little more gentle and work on her bedside manner. No matter, she sat on the edge, swinging her legs back and forth off said edge. Usopp and Zoro crossed their arms, looking annoyed and huffy as they entered the lift. They were still annoyed. It seemed Usopp was thrown into the mix of crew members she annoys. Fine by her, she was having great fun picking on these boys.
Soon, they were taking off into the air through the wire the lift was attached to. Despite the wind whipping at her face, she enjoyed the landscape growing smaller with the distance as they traversed this mountain. For a moment, for a moment it felt as if the mountain was breathing with her from this distance. She blinked and dismissed it. More hallucinations it seemed.
Then, more of the mountain fell through as the others startled.
Odd, perhaps, gravity influenced more avalanches to happen. She would've thought it wasn't real if not for the reactions of others. She wondered how long this would keep going.
More importantly, how long was this trolley ride?
It felt as if it took forever, but they arrived, and she hopped off. She was standing in front of the massive castle that had several holes within the architecture. Some of it was due to decay, and some of it was due to reckless fighting as of recently. In fact, she saw another hole blast through, following the dot fly through the sky with her eyes to his impact with a pathetic yelp. She laughed softly at that.
"Silas… Silas, Silas—"
"He's not listening. I've got you."
Oh, right, she went by Silas. It was hard to remember sometimes. She'll get the hang of it eventually. Eventually, please , it felt like she was on borrowed time. Live life to the fullest before clocking out on this adventure.
She walked in front of the castle and an old woman with a prominent chin and what looked to be a mangled Walpol was writhing and whimpering in defeat on the ground.
"I wonder if he'll die," Silas said offhandedly.
"I hope so," the old woman said.
Silas shrugged and went to leave until she saw the cutest thing ever. It was a baby animal to which species that seemed to be of the raccoon family. It cracked something within her guilty heart. She didn't even give a moment's pause. She ran over and beelined it to that blue-nosed raccoon. It screamed in fright, but he was round and small, and she couldn't resist. She picked him up and hugged the creature to herself. She could die right there despite the little raccoon screaming like a person.
Hmm? Another hallucination? She looked at him, holding the cute little thing with a doctor's hat on at a distance to get a good look at him.
"Hey, put me down," the raccoon screamed and wiggled.
"Oh, you can talk?" she said incredulously.
"Yes, put me down, asshole!"
"Why? You're so cute like a doll," she said.
"Cute?!" he shouted incredulously then blushed with great shame.
"Yeah, do you own a mirror?"
She sat the raccoon boy down. He huffed and puffed, backing away from her. It seemed her desire to mother to death a cute animal overcame her. Could anyone blame her? She'd never seen a creature like him before, and he's small and round like a baby – very, very cute.
"No, I'm a monster. Why would I look at myself?" he said clearly upset.
"I like monsters. Me and monsters get along," she said simply, squatting down to be at eye level with him. "I don't think you're a monster though."
"Look at me!"
"What you look like doesn't make you a monster," she said. "I'm Sie– Silas by the way. What's your name?"
"Chopper," he grumbled, not looking her in the eyes.
"It's cold. Let's go inside."
When they entered the castle, they went to visit the medical ward. Nami was looking way better and no longer feverish. Sanji was on the bed for some reason. What happened on this mountain? She kind of wanted to know, but at the same time she didn't.
"Had a party without us?" Silas said sarcastically, poking Sanji's elevated leg much to his irritation. "I managed to make a friend."
She pointed to Chopper who was poorly hiding behind the door frame. He huffed and denied the friendship, and she just laughed deeply.
" And , he's not a hallucination," she said, laughing louder. "Turns out he's a raccoon boy. Who would've thunk?"
"Hallucination?" All three of them said incredulously.
"Yeah," she said simply.
Suddenly, as if the old doctor had superhuman senses, burst through the door and got the jump on her. Silas didn't have any time to react to that spry old woman, just got pinned to an empty daybed face down. A strange feeling washed over her that left her cold, so she thrashed violently. She managed to get that crazy old doctor off and sat up. They looked at each other eye to eye, and Silas took several calming, deep breaths to ease herself.
"Why?" Silas said, almost mad but mostly curious after recovery.
"Hallucinations are serious, you strong whipper snapper," she gruffed. "I'm taking a blood sample."
Without warning, her coat was removed and a needle was stuck into her arm. Then, when the vial was full, the doctor left for her lab.
"I like her," Silas said simply.
"She broke Sanji's leg," Nami said incredulously.
Silas laughed before controlling herself. The look on the other's faces told her that was inappropriate. What? He wasn't dead, and he was in recovery.
"So, Chopper, are you a doctor as well?" Silas asked.
"Yes."
"Wanna be our doctor?" she asked simply.
"What?"
"Oh come on, we're nice. We don't bite… usually," she laughed shortly with a smile.
Suddenly, the senior doctor came back, looking confused yet pleased. Why? What's the new? Give her the good, bad, and the ugly.
"Your blood sample is normal," she said. "Perhaps, you're a little low in vitamin D, but overall you're normal."
"So… I haven't been having withdrawal hallucinations? All this shit has been real… huh. Semen man was real," she said offhandedly which earned odd looks.
"Which medications did you take?"
"Antidepressants. I guess they didn't work because I'm doing better now off them."
And I really shouldn't be. I left my husband.
She felt guilty. She tried to blame the meds' withdrawals for why she was having fun on this adventure. In reality, she felt free for the first time in a long time. She couldn't help but think Smoker must be worried sick about her, and yet here she is having a grand old time without him. Was life with her husband that oppressive? He wasn't a bad guy, but LogueTown was boring, being a housewife was boring. And, he didn't seem to understand why being a kept woman wasn't fun for her. She understood now why people were drawn to the sea. You may die out there, but at least you're having the time of your life. She's had her taste of freedom on the sea, and she liked it. She didn't think she could go back.
"This is good news," she said, smiling.
"I worry about you," Nami said.
"Someone has to."
The others laughed, and she joined in.
…
Convincing Chopper to be their doctor was difficult. Convincing Kureha to release Nami and Sanji from the medical ward was difficult. But you know what wasn't difficult, Nami stealing the exit key. The navigator earned her epithet of Cat Burglar that was for damn sure. Yes, Silas read sometimes when the mood struck her, so she knew a few things about the crew. And she was happy to leave the castle and meet up with the rest of them after being separated for some time.
They were missing someone. She looked around as she dropped Sanji into the snow with a crunch of snow. He grumbled.
"Where's Chopper?" she asked, looking around.
"Telling Kureha that he's joining—"
CRASH
Everyone turned around to see someone threw something at the window. If she was a betting person, she'd say it was Kureha who did it since she was screaming and chasing poor Chopper through the castle. Silas tracked them with her eyes through the castle through the several maze-like staircases until Chopper, in his four legged form, burst through the front doors of the castle chased by a crazy old woman. Fun.
"Get on the sled, now!" Chopper shouted.
Everyone managed to scramble into the sled in time as someone sloppily attached the harness to Chopper's back. Off they went at breakneck speed. Silas and Luffy were laughing in joy as Nami and Usopp screamed in terror. It was exhilarating as they rode through this snowy mountain that was trashed due to the avalanche. And she was sad when they got to the ship, and it was over.
However, they had Alabasta to look forward to. She was excited. She knew it was an important country despite it being small and having an intense climate most didn't want to suffer through. She couldn't wait for that adventure.
As they sailed, Luffy put two sticks in his nose and bottom lip. She gave him a smile as the others laughed loudly. Someone gave her a beer in a mug to celebrate with them, so she did. It turned out it was Zoro. Both of them clanked and downed it in big gulps. She blinked several times as she processed the alcohol. Apparently, the swordsman liked it strong.
"You assholes, how dare you celebrate when Karoo is freezing!" Nami shouted.
Everyone turned and saw Karoo shivering violently in Vivi's arms. Yikes, it seemed Zoro wasn't the only one who took a dive in freezing water. She felt badly for the little duck.
"He wanted to make sure Zoro-san was okay," Chopper said.
"Wait, you can talk to animals?" Silas asked.
"Yes, I'm an animal. He just wanted to make sure Zoro-san was okay."
"It's your fault!" Nami shouted, punching Zoro across the head.
She laughed as she downed another beer and tossed it over her head. It shattered somewhere she didn't care.
"Why?!" Usopp shouted.
"Instead of breaking ice, we're breaking glass with our new crew member!" Silas laughed. "Get it?"
"New crew member?" Sanji and Zoro said, confused before glaring at one another.
"Chopper," Silas said, picking up the little guy much to his chagrin. "Isn't he cute?"
That earned a look from everyone as Chopper continued to squirm in her hold, telling her to put him down with a flushed face and barely masked flattery.
"Cute? You asshole," he said, feigning offense. "I'm a doctor, not cute."
"You're a doctor?" Luffy said, surprised. "I just wanted a weird crew member… and possibly back up food."
Both her and Chopper were horrified. Oh wait, did Luffy have a point? Was he a tasty snack? Without consideration, she bit softly on their new doctor's ear. He, of course, screamed. She did warn him, right? They don't bite… usually.
"He's not the worst taste," she said with a shrug, putting down the raccoon boy.
"Let me try!" Luffy said.
Everyone laughed as Luffy chased their new crew member around the open decks wanting to take a bite too. It was all good fun until he tripped and one of the chopsticks he stuck in his nose earlier went up too far, blood spilled, and he couldn't get out. It seemed Chopper had his first case abroad The Going Merry. She laughed as everyone else panicked.
X
The next day all the dinosaur meat was gone that she hunted. The culprit was obvious, and she watched with amusement as Sanji grilled their captain on it. But Luffy wasn't the only one. She knew guilt when she saw it, and Usopp and Chopper were covering their mouths like kids who stole from the cookie jar. They looked at her, begging with their eyes not to tell Sanji, and she gave them a wink.
She walked onto the deck and heard a grunt of pain. She looked down, slightly startled that she ended up accidentally stepping on a sleeping Zoro. Oops. He glared up at her, and she gave him a guilty smile.
"Oops, sorry," she said through her closed tooth smile.
"Nami-swan!" Sanji called in his best simp voice. "We need a new padlock because Silas broke the last lock."
She put her middle finger to her lips and gave it a dramatic kiss before she pointed towards him. She laughed with a giant grin at the scandalous and angry look he gave her. Zoro joined in the laughter as well which amused her greatly.
"I'm going to kick your ass, you—"
"Enough!" Nami commanded, making Sanji stop in his tracks. "What were you saying about Sir Crocodile, Vivi?"
Silas took a seat on a barrel with one of her feet up with her arm resting on her knee. She was ready to listen. She wasn't up to date on Baroque Works except they were mostly bounty hunters and pains in the ass on that cactus island.
"He's seen as a hero."
"How convenient," she said, unable to curve that impulse, might as well say what she wanted to. "Don't they realize how suspicious that is for some guy to come around out of nowhere and save the day? That's suspicious. That's weird."
"I suppose they don't care. They just wish for protection," Vivi said, sad and disappointed. "Mr. Zero is Sir Crocodile, and his partner is Ms. All Sunday. They're at the top of Baroque Works, and the men are numbered and the women are named after days of the week. The top of the organization has specialized missions, and the rest are meant to assassinate people who are threats to Baroque Works."
"Eh, who cares? I'm supposed to kick Crocodile's ass, right?" Luffy said.
"Yes, but the whole organization has to go in order to save Alabasta," Vivi said.
"Crocodile… kick Crocodile's ass…"
"You're not listening, are you?" Sanji sighed.
"Wait, if he plans to take Alabasta soon doesn't that mean Baroque Works is coming together now?" Silas asked.
"Yes."
"Well, damn."
It had been a few days since they ran out of food on the grand line. She didn't know how long it would be until they reached Alabasta before they resorted to eating Karoo. However, Usopp, Copper, and Luffy had the brilliant idea of putting the poor duck on the end of the fishing line. It earned several punches from Vivi for endangering her pet. Silas would laugh if she wasn't so hungry. She just stared at the open sky, spread out on the deck, waiting for Alabasta in order to stuff her face.
Suddenly, someone screamed and out leapt the most vibrant camp queen she'd seen in a long time. His makeup and costume were perfect . And his landing, ugh, it was done with the wonderful grace of a swan which happened to be what he was dressed as. She couldn't ask for anything better.
Immediately, Silas sat up, agape, and she could feel the stars twinkling in her eyes. Oh, she'd missed this! Before she found herself captured and out on the market, she lived for drag races. The way the men and women played with gender was so eye opening and fascinating to her. The looks and performances were so awe inspiring. And to see this swan queen twirl around like a ballerina and offer her a hand hit her in the nostalgia so hard, she almost couldn't breathe.
He took her hand, spun her around and dipped her low, giving her a grin.
"Whoa," someone said in shock.
"I'm Bon Clay," he said, letting her back up and spinning her out of his grasp.
"Silas," she answered, having to remember to deepen her voice.
"Would you like to see my talent?" he asked.
"Yes!" Silas and Luffy said immediately.
Silas sat down with her legs crossed on the barrel, watching with bated breath as Bon Clay punched Luffy in the face, waiting for his trick. She loved a good performance and couldn't wait for him to give them all one. However, everyone else on deck was shocked and ready to fight Bon Clay for punching Luffy.
"Wait, good people, this is my," he touched his face with the other hand, and he suddenly had Luffy's face, "trick!"
Silas gave him the golf clap, feeling her mouth still slightly agape. The others didn't seem amused except Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper who were squealing instead like children. Clearly, they've never been in a front seat of a drag/fashion show. Shame, it's fun and brilliant.
"This is my clone-clone fruit," he explained, switching faces with a mere touch of his right hand. "As long as I've touched your face, I can look just like you."
A small intake of breath, and she said admirably, "What a camp queen."
Everyone who wasn't Bon Clay looked at her in confusion. Whatever, they were all uncultured swines. He, however, had tears in his eyes and grasped her hands in his and brought them close to his face.
"Thank you, my little Harlequin of Handsome, for appreciating me! I shall treasure this friendship!"
Harlequin? Huh? That was an interest name he chose for her. She hasn't thought of comedy art in years. But, it was the compliment of calling her handsome that had flattered her and hung her up.
She watched him spin around in the perfect attitude that only a practiced ballerina could accomplish. And since he was a ballerina, it was only fitting when he said the first three numbers of the same language it's popularized from: une, deux, trois. Oh, this really was a treat. She didn't think she'd befriend a camp queen like this while pirating. Just, a chef's kiss right there.
"Ew, he's so creepy," someone said as Bon Clay gave out winks like the performer he was.
She politely disagreed. They just didn't understand artistry that went into being a drag queen. Most people she encountered around the world believed it was a fetish for freaks whenever it came up in conversation. She hated that. It was so far from the truth. It was for fun or a way to express yourself that's unconventional but fulfills you nonetheless. She could relate.
Suddenly, a ship honked to get someone's attention.
"Captain!" they shouted.
"Oh, dear friends," he said, blowing a kiss to her. "That's my ride. Remember, friendship isn't formed by just spending time with someone. Au revoir!"
Just as he hopped onto the ship in a perfect jete someone called him Mr. Two. And suddenly, it made sense. Why else would someone powerful be around Alabasta on the grand line. No other reason unless they are a part of Baroque Works. Huh, for the enemy, he was awfully dashing and non-threatening. She wouldn't mind partying with him and hanging out. She could always use more friends.
The others were slack jawed as Bon Clay traveled away in his ship except for poor Vivi. She was crying and clearly beating herself up probably for not knowing. It is odd she wouldn't know him right away since she was a part of Baroque Works under cover. The princess covered her face with her hands in shame as she probably should.
"How could I not see it? He transformed into my father!" she said incredulously. "Only a Baroque Works agent knows my father's face without being a citizen of Alabasta."
"Wow, we really just let the enemy go," Usopp said, surprised.
"I like him," Silas said simply.
"You just like him because he called you handsome," someone said, clearly trying to get under her skin.
"Yep," she said simply.
"What is wrong with you?" Zoro said, clearly unnerved by her.
"So much."
She gave him a taunting grin.
