Chapter Seventeen: Rest & Recovery
When she awoke, she didn't expect this. Her body was still throbbing and just one glance down she could see the Straw Hats and Vivi passed out by her bedside just like they did for Nami when she was sick. It made her smile. Their concern was much appreciated, but surely she wasn't that hurt, was she?
Squeak.
Her head snapped over, and that was a mistake. It was a sharp, stinging pain. Maybe they were right to be concerned. But she saw Chopper and another white coat chatting. It brought up some bad feelings, but she was curious as to what they were talking about.
"That kid is lucky to be alive," the old doctor said.
"Which one?" Chopper asked.
"Both. I'm especially worried about your friend Silas," he tisked. "He still hasn't woken up. The assault and battery done to him is intense, and I haven't even mentioned the head injury. He's lucky he doesn't have a concussion. Thick skull on that one."
The number those two idiots did on her while she was hallucinating was worse than she thought. She was so glad her brain blocked it out for her. Old habits never really die, it seemed.
She stared at the dark ceiling, wondering if she should get up or not. She's disturb her crew's sleep, but at the same time the need to pee was getting painful. Her decision was made.
She stood up and ignored the stinging and sharp pain spreading like spider webs all over her body. Another day. She felt a pull just as the doctors started yelling and freaking out. Looking down, she saw IVs attached to her arms and oxygen tubes inside her nose. Annoyed, she ripped them out with two easy tugs. And, of course, the doctors started yelling louder and waking everyone up.
"Silas! Lay back down! What are you doing?" Chopper yelled, jumping up and down in front of her to get her attention.
Casually, she picked him up, and he started wiggling and yelling even louder. She put him down on her old bed, but the little raccoon wouldn't give up.
"I have to pee," she said.
Then, she went into the bathroom, closed the door, and flipped the lights on. She was met with her reflection, and it wasn't too bad. The goose egg on her forehead was starting to go down, and her bruises were starting to yellow. They were easy to cover up with sleeves. She'd looked better, but she also knew she'd looked worse.
When she was done in the bathroom, she opened the door and saw several pairs of luminous eyeballs staring right at her and zooming in all wobbly. Then, she made herself blink a couple of times and it was just her friends and doctors in the dark room. She flipped on a light and felt a little better.
"So, um, I didn't die," she said with a shrug.
They all collectively blanched. She laughed briefly until her ribs punished her for it, so she stopped. When she looked down, she saw blood running down her arms and frowned. Oh right, she ripped out those IVs. When she looked back up, she noticed that immediately Chopper, Nami, and Vivi were fussing and scolding her and dragging her off somewhere. It was a strange yet familiar feeling.
…
Everything seemed to be working fairly normally. The pain wasn't anything new. It also helped that she was popping pills that Chopper gave her like candy. Again, nothing new.
Needing a distraction, she looked out the window and noticed that they were putting out a fire. Was that their jail and torture, excuse her, interrogation building. A smile came to her face to see most of the damn thing burn along with Blackbeard's stupid crew. She was reminded of her new friend. She hoped he got her note….
The door swung open, bringing her out of her thoughts sharply. Curiously, she looked over to the side to see a green haired swordsman with a determined look on his face – one of his three looks. Wonder what he wanted?
"Train me."
Oh.
She immediately began laughing despite her ribs letting her know it hurt. She coughed and then recovered as anger began to cross his face – the second of his three looks.
"No," she said, standing and stretching her arms.
"You said you'd give me whatever I want, and I want you to train me," he said.
"I said I'd make you whatever you want," she said. "I'm not stupid enough to make that kind of deal."
"What are you implying?"
"You're not a pervert like our chef, but you did call me a gigolo. Who knows? You may want my, um, services."
The look of realization and then anger was really funny. He should be careful with his words next time he goes to insult someone. Someone may interpret his words very differently than he intended. Still the imagery of Zoro begrudgingly paying a gigolo for their services entered her mind and had her laughing again.
"I wouldn't pay for you," he said.
"Why not? I'd show you a good time. You'd get your money's worth," she said, still laughing. "You haven't even seen me shake my ass yet."
"Silas, I'm not gay," he said oh so seriously as if the notion of somebody thinking he might be gay was impossible.
"Neither am I," she said, laughing harder.
He didn't say anything, just mumbling and grumbling as he stomped away. She, on the other hand, just laughed harder, holding her stomach and trying not to split her stitches. Chopper would get mad.
Later that evening, they were all having dinner in the palace's great hall. And, the nostalgia was hitting her hard this time around. This was the better part of it, and she was so hungry that it was drowning everything else out including the pain on her head and her shoulder.
Immediately, the crew, including herself began to eat everything in sight the poor chefs had to keep supplying to them. The worst offender being Luffy, but she knew she wasn't much better. Now, after choosing not to hold back anymore, she could sense the disgust in the guards, creating a sort of vignette around the whole great hall's aura. What did they expect? They're pirates.
"Cheers!" Luffy shouted through a mouthful of sausage links, throwing up his drink
"Cheers!" The rest of the Straw Hats said, doing the same.
While Usopp was distracted, she watched as Luffy reached over and stole something from his plate. Silas elbowed her long nosed friend, and it took a moment for him to realize but he figured it out and was incensed.
"Luffy!" Usopp exclaimed.
Silas laughed. She placed her hand on his shoulder and gave him a wink, gesturing towards the giant mug out of her reach. A mischievous smile grew on that face. He then put that mug in her hand.
"No, he can't have alcohol!"
Silas ignored him and downed the giant glass in large gulps as everyone else yelled, "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" She reached the end, slamming the empty glass upside down and not a drop splashed on the table.
The pain was less now. The hops were kicking in as everyone's smiling faces spun in fun colors. She grabbed Usopp by the shoulder, sensing he was still mad at Luffy for taking his food.
"Squeeze me," she told him, facing towards Luffy who was still inhaling all the food in sight.
"What?" Usopp said.
"Squeeze me. Trust me."
Usopp did, and immediately she began spewing out all the alcohol sitting in her body right onto Luffy's face. The exclamation of anger from their captain as everyone laughed, including those stuffy guards, finally cracking them. She smiled as she began to wolf down more food again.
"Silas!" She heard.
Looking over, she saw Zoro's third look: drunk.
"What?" she shouted back, remembering to use her deep voice.
"Trai—"
"No!" she shouted back, laughing.
She could feel herself falling into a food coma, fogging up her vision and brain. She slumped and found a comfy shoulder to rest on….
Later that night, she woke up from her nap to the crew discussing when to go to the bathhouse. Bathhouse? She sniffed her arm and realized she reeked. Yeah? The bathhouse sounded good right about now.
Wait, would she have to be naked? It would be no. She'd stink rather than let them see her naked and know what her assigned sex is. They'd know that she used to be a marine wife, and she wasn't ready to explain herself, just wanted to relax and recover right now.
"Oh look, he's awake," Sanji said in his usual apathetic tone when a woman wasn't around as he took a drag of his cigarette.
"Great," Zoro said.
Funny, their attitudes on women and how to be a man were where they clash, but they both couldn't stand her. It was funny. If only they knew what her birth sex was. It might break them, especially Sanji. She couldn't help but laugh a little.
She then stood, and said, "Bath time!"
The bathhouse was beautiful: the tall, white columns had a few triangular, red paintings and tall, bulbous tops were grandiose. The entrance was open, and she followed the men in.
When she entered, Cobra directed them to the changing room. When they entered, she immediately got a strange feeling.
"Hmm, this looks like the beginnings of white room torture," she said absentmindedly.
"What?"
She laughed at their expressions as she then ran a hand across the table's surface, feeling the texture and hearing her own laughter. Nope, she was just in a somewhat sterile room with friends.
"Opps, I guess I said that out loud," she said with a shrug.
"What's wrong with him?" she heard Cobra whisper.
"We don't know," Sanji said casually.
She didn't either.
They all went into the private changing areas. She was a little worried, but she was mostly covered up top thanks to being shot in the shoulder. She'd have to wear a towel around her hips to cover everything that looked feminine and wouldn't be able to remove it. Being pear shaped made it difficult to look masculine from the waist down. But she did her best.
When she stepped into the bathhouse, she looked at the men hesitantly. And for a moment, she thought she had been found out given the king and the boys of the crew were staring at her. She could feel herself freezing and panic setting in, especially when some of their cheeks were getting flushed. Maybe it was the hot water and the steam in the bathhouse. She could feel heat rising on her face after all, but her heart was also pounding in her chest.
The king looked away, cleared his throat, and said, "Your blacksmith is a beautiful young man." He sounded surprised, and to be honest she was too.
Immediately, there was a reaction. Sanji and Zoro told Cobra that he was wrong and stupid. Then, Usopp denied it and complimented her. She and Luffy started laughing, alleviating her stress. She didn't really get compliments while looking like a woman. Maybe, they were just terrified of one of her husbands, or the biceps and abs scared them away. Who knows? But as a man, she was complimented… and insulted frequently. It was more freeing, and a fresh new start. As Silas, she didn't have any ex lovers and old allegiances to make life difficult for her.
She took a seat at one of the spigots and buckets. The others joined after splashing around in the fountain in the center. An odd sensation went through her. The realization that she was with her practically naked crewmates finally hit her. The paranoia of being outed was gone, so it finally sunk in. She'd seen Nami naked before, but it wasn't exactly strange since she knew what women look like naked. However, never had she been perceived a man in this scenario, so this was a first time seeing men naked in a comradery setting.
Curiously, she looked over subtly, wondering what they were working with. It was Zoro first on her left, having removed his towel, and leaving him bare to clean himself and her wondering eyes. Nothing special. When she looked back up, she received a look for it and shrugged. Then, she looked over to her right and gasped loudly, nearly falling out of the chair.
"Holy shit! I never knew you were packing heat like that down there!" she exclaimed, throat hurting from the volume and deepening of her voice. She coughed several times, trying to recover as her ribs hurt once more.
"What?" Usopp said, flushing but puffing his chest out proudly. "Of course I am."
He was a fibber, so she had to see it to believe it. And, she was shocked at the sight of that log just sitting against his thigh, and it was flaccid too!
"Wait, why are you looking at my crotch?" Usopp said, red in the face and incredulous.
"Yeah, what the hell, Silas?" Zoro said.
"What do you expect from a bisexual?" Sanji said casually behind her.
She turned around, looked at his crotch that was at eye level, and then up at his face. If he was closer and she was on her knees, this would have a different vibe. Nonetheless, his face flushed, and he covered up quickly. Was he embarrassed, angry or shy? She must've scared it and caused shrinkage because there wasn't much to look at.
"Let me guess, you're a grower, not a shower," she said.
Everyone but him started laughing as she saw his jaw clench with anger.
She wanted to feel badly for saying that, but if he was going to spew disgusting assumptions about bisexuals, then he deserved some clowning on. She didn't understand this narrative going around that bisexuals were just horny all the time, willing to smash anyone. If anything, she'd assume they'd be picky with all the options in front of them. It was people who had less options who couldn't be picky and willing to fuck anything remotely attractive... like Sanji. So he may have assumed that she was like him: willing to smash anyone she was attracted to. That wasn't the case. Now, as a newly single person, she didn't want anyone at the moment. It was still fresh, and she needed time to heal.
"No, Sanji, that water is too hot!" she heard Chopper shout.
Next thing she knew she was splashed in the face. It served her right for zoning out like she did. But she didn't know what they were talking about when they said the water was too hot. Wait, was that steam coming off her face? She wiped her finger across her cheek and examined the steam coming off the tip of her feeling.
The anger and disappointment on Sanji was funny.
"Silas!" she heard Nami and Vivi call.
"Yes?" she said, looking towards the direction of the sound.
"Come join us!"
She didn't even have to look to know Sanji was even angrier. She just felt it. What she didn't expect was the cook to literally heat up and catch fire like one of his flambé dishes. Everyone was just as taken aback by it as she was. Chopper was screaming at him to get in the bath already to put the flames out, but Sanji wasn't listening.
"SILAS GETS TO BATHE WITH NAMI-SAN AND VIVI-CHAN!" he roared.
She chuckled darkly. "Yeah and I don't have to sneak in or peep on them like a fucking pervert either," she taunted.
He charged her, and he was so angry that he was sloppy. It was child's play to dodge him and watch him run into the water, cooling off and leaving steam in the air. The others were left somewhat astounded as she laughed.
She then went over to the other bathhouse next door with a shrug. Might as well. She'd rather bathe with Nami and Vivi anyway. For one, they smelled better. For two, they wouldn't get angry and charge her like a bull elephant during mating season. All and all, better company.
Besides, she had her chest wrapped in gauze. And she would keep the towel around her waist. They wouldn't know what's up. She entered the women's bath and smiled. They returned it, and they were clearly checking her out. It was brief, and soon they were blushing and looking away. Well, that never happened before. It was cuter and sweeter than most men who let their desire be known. Maybe, it was because Nami and Vivi were still teens, and things were a little more innocent in general. After all, Sienna had definitely met some women out there who don't exactly 'make love' and don't possess innocence when it came to seduction. Either way, it was refreshing and a new thing.
She sat next to them and grabbed the flowery shaped thing and said, "Don't drop the soap."
Nami and Vivi frowned briefly before laughing. She smiled. Silas didn't think she'd bring herself to care about another crew, but here she was. She was going to miss Vivi when they continued on the seas, and she ruled Alabasta alongside her father. She knew that it was temporary from the jump because the princess loved her kingdom and father more than anything, she wouldn't dare leave now that it was saved. And Silas felt the sadness there. She offered to wash Vivi's back, wanting to savor the time they had left.
The princess agreed, and she could sense the jealousy in Nami. The girl tried to hide it, but Silas could tell she wasn't very good at it. Nami reminded her of kids who had their first crush in which they didn't know how to handle their feelings, so it manifested in strange ways. She wondered if her nakama would start pulling her pigtails if she wore them. She had to keep herself from laughing or smirking at the idea.
Vivi, of course, was different. She was a lot shyer than Nami. Her feelings manifested in blushing and soft-spoken admittance of attraction. It was very cute, and it was definitely what someone would think of when they thought of a princess. However, she wondered if this experience has made her more bold. The girl did invite her over here after all.
"Silas?"
"Hm?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Is that a peacock tattoo?"
"Yep."
She thought she had it covered, but she supposed hoping the wall and Sanji throwing water on her shifted the towel or made it more visible. She looked over and saw its blue regal head poking out the top of the towel above her hip, and its tail feathers poking out the bottom of the towel.
"Can we see it?"
She swore she could hear the blush in Vivi's voice. It was cute. It wasn't disgusting like so many men who've asked to see her naked before. She wasn't a pervert, and it made all the difference.
She looked back and forth between Nami and Vivi's hopeful gaze. If she showed it, removed even part of the towel, they'd know. Besides, her tattoos were a little bit too personal, and she didn't feel like sharing right now.
"I would, but I'm shy," she said playfully, holding her cheek.
There was a pause, and then they began to laugh.
"Silas," Nami began, "you're not shy."
"You don't know that," she said playfully. "I could be a shy schoolboy in love with his senpai, and you'd never know."
They continued to laugh as she pouted. She really was going to miss Vivi.
X
"What are we going to do?"
"About what?" she asked idly as the rain continued to splash against the scorched, old jail.
"The navy," Nami scoffed, annoyed.
"Eh," she shrugged, "fuck 'em."
I did.
She snickered at her own untold joke. There was no need to look at the others to know they were annoyed with her, sans Luffy. The captain was unflappable about most things.
"We need to get out of here soon," Nami insisted.
"Don't those ducks have super speed?" she asked. "Much better than walking it again."
"That sounds like fun," Luffy said. "We're doing that."
"But the navy has a our ship," Nami said.
~purururu~ purururu~ purururu~
Her head snapped over, and she recognized the likeness the ringing den den mushi took on. She locked eyes with Luffy and felt her upper lip curl like a territorial animal. Immediately, they bum rushed it to the phone. She dove with her whole body, slamming the poor kid to the side, and causing her to slide across the table the den-den mushi was sitting on. She scrambled to a sitting position and picked up the receiver.
"Hey, what's up?" she said without missing a beat.
She saw red growing through her wraps and felt pain spreading on shoulder.
"Give it, Silas!"
She put her bare foot against Luffy's cheek to keep him at bay as he tried to grab for the den-den.
"Silas," Chopper said worriedly.
"Yea, it's Silas!" Bon Clay cheered.
She was beginning to grow tired of her new name.
"Yeah, what's up?"
Her captain was getting more impatient and feral, so she tapped her big toe against his cheek in reprimand.
"I have your ship. Want it back?"
The gasps in the room were amusing as she smiled through the wet, ache on her shoulder.
"Yeah, I kinda like it," she said, shrugging. "Ow."
"What's wrong?" Bon Clay asked, sounding concerned.
"Well, I got shot in the shoulder, and I threw myself over the table to talk to you, so it hurts. A lot," she said casually, shrugging again. "Ow."
"Stop that," everyone, including Bon Clay said.
Chopper came up from behind in his tall form with those giant hooves, grabbing her under armpits and dragging her away.
"Oh no, I'm being dragged away," she said, laughing, jarring her shoulder. "Ow."
"Stop it!" Everyone said again.
After receiving a lecture about being careful and getting patched up by Chopper, she had a moment alone. The Straw Hats informed her that they were leaving tonight on the ducks. She probably wouldn't see Alabasta again. More importantly, she probably wouldn't see Vivi again.
"Come on, Silas," Nami huffed, impatient.
She watched the girl go on ahead, lingering. She could've sworn she heard someone, sensed someone. It was odd. Ever since she and Smoker split, and she decided not to hold back anymore, it was like putting on an old glove. The reawakening of a sixth sense felt so refreshing, but it had been so long that it wasn't entirely back. But being around people unskilled in haki made it child's play despite her being rusty.
She looked over and saw a wisp of blue hair disappear behind the column. Was the princess playing hide and seek with her? She could feel a smile growing.
"Come to say bye?" she asked.
"How did you…? Yes."
She turned around and was greeted by Vivi walking towards her. The blush and the sad look on the princess's face was expected. It didn't make this exchange any less bitter sweet.
"I knew you wouldn't leave Alabasta," she said.
Suddenly, her arms were full, and her vision was filled with blue. She soothed, holding the girl gently.
"I'm going to miss you and The Straw Hats," Vivi said.
"I know."
Silas saw it coming, but she let it happen out of curiosity. Vivi's head lifted and those soft hands held her face and kissed her. And, Silas didn't expect her face to heat up as she looked at the princess blushing deeply and looking away shyly. It was too cute. And, she accepted the moment for what it was. She didn't want to burst Vivi's bubble and let her know what her gender really was. In the end, it really didn't matter. If there was one thing about sexuality she was certain of, it was that people were more fluid than they thought they were. Who cares about semantics? Do what feels good. And her receiving a goodbye kiss felt good in a bitter sweet kind of way. They'd probably never see each other again, but that was probably best for Vivi. Being associated with pirates can ruin someone's life.
"Bye princess," she said, smiling despite the sadness. "I'll miss you."
It was fairly straightforward after that. They mounted their ducks, ran across the wet desert, and made it to their ship. And, she got to see Bon Clay one last time before he hopped onto his own ship, distracting the marines. She hoped he didn't get arrested like the rest of Baroque Works. She actually liked him.
Now, they were on the seas again going to their next destination, and it didn't feel the same. She knew that Vivi would never leave Alabasta, but it still stung. She missed the blue hair and the sweetness.
"What's wrong with all of you?" Zoro asked.
Everyone said simultaneously, "We miss her."
"Well, if you wanted her to stay that badly you should've kidnapped her," Zoro said.
Everyone blanched. She didn't even have to look. The way he said that so casually as if it was the obvious answer was so jarring.
"Brute!" Nami exclaimed.
"Marimo."
"You'd be a terrible boyfriend," she said. "I'm not training you."
All the Straw Hats except for Luffy looked at her for it. Was she wrong? He would make a terrible boyfriend. Then again, all the boys here would. Sanji was a simp. Luffy had no interest at all in sex and romance. Chopper was a child-like raccoon boy. And Zoro just told them to kidnap a girl if they wanted to keep her. The only exception would be Usopp, maybe. The hang up was that he did lie a lot, even if it was innocent and funny. Other than maybe Usopp, they'd all make terrible boyfriends.
"Three sword style," Luffy said without skipping a beat.
"That's not an insult," Usopp said.
"Four sword style," Luffy said, sticking his tongue out at Zoro.
She chuckled and stood up off the railing as the others followed suit. It was good to be back on The Merry. It was odd how quickly this was starting to feel like a home. She will always appreciate and, to some degree, love Smoker, but she was under the wrong impression that he didn't care about her that much. That, and it was stifling in LogueTown as a marine's wife. No matter the time or distance she put between her and her old life, she would always get itchy when it came to the government. It was at its worst when she was at functions where other marines and their wives would attend like she was some feral cat Smoker took pity on because of her past with pirates and unconventional look. She was afraid they'd find out. Here, with the Straw Hats, she didn't feel like the odd one out. It felt like a strange home. They were just as wild, and they weren't going to arrest her for past crimes. She could kick it. With one exception, they probably would feel betrayed if they knew she was a marine's wife and responsible for her ex-husband chasing them all the way from LogueTown.
Best to keep her past to herself.
When passing by she saw a frown and a pout on Nami. It was clearly jealousy. The girl was the type to hide her feelings with animosity and irritation as opposed to being vulnerable or open like Vivi. And feeling badly for spending more time with Vivi lately, Silas leaned in and gave her crewmate a quick peck on the cheek and a smile. Of course, Nami's face exploded in red as she clutched her own face, and backed away as if Silas's lips burned her.
"Why?!" she hissed.
Sanji was livid. She didn't even have to look over to know this. His angry aura and past behavior gave that away just fine.
"You assau—"
Silas cut off Sanji and said to Nami playfully, "I didn't want you to feel left out. Did I miss? Should I give you a proper kiss instead?"
Nami's face got even redder as she stamped her foot and said shrilly, "No!"
"Are you sure? It's free of charge," she said playfully, chuckling deeply.
"Stop it, Silas!"
"Okay," she said, still smiling to herself and chuckling as Nami stomped off.
Now, she had an angry cook to deal with. He looked like a steaming squash, ready to burst into flames again. When the yelling started, she considered throwing him over board even if he wasn't on fire.
"You son of a—"
"New bounties!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly.
She looked over curiously and narrowly dodged Sanji's attack, trying not to blanch. She had two bounties now: Sienna, wanted alive, 100 million berries; Silas, wanted dead or alive, 65 million berries. It was the first one that caused the most dread though because of the 'wanted alive'. Why would they care if she was alive? Who placed the bounty? Did she stir up too much trouble on Alabasta and alerted one of her old lovers? Did Smoker change his mind? Or did the government want her alive for something? There were too many possibilities.
She heard angry, disgruntled noises and looked over at the two boys. Then, a smirk grew on her face. Finally, a distraction worth having.
"I guess we finally answered the question of 'who's bigger'," she laughed at Zoro and Sanji.
The anger was palpable in the both of them. They attempted to strike her, but she dodged, rolling across the floor in her fit of cackles.
Then, Sanji got distracted by the article and made a sound of pleasant surprise. "There she is! The woman who saved me!" he exclaimed. He then held the bounty all to himself out of the lineup. "They'll never take Sienna-senpai alive."
"No kidding, she broke that cage open when you two losers couldn't," Nami said. Zoro looked as if he wanted to argue, but Sanji got after him. So, Nami continued without missing a beat. "That's such a high bounty too and only alive. I guess Smoker couldn't let her go."
Or someone else. But she didn't even want to contemplate that. She wasn't going to look like her normal self for awhile now. It was getting too close to the chest. She didn't need to be captured again in her life. Granted she wouldn't be back at the redline, but being somewhere she didn't want to be against her will and made to submit were forms of enslavement. Never again, she couldn't do it again.
X
"Honey, I'm home!"
He pictured her there on their massive bed like the good old days when she would wait excitedly for him to come back home, smiling at him in that lacy baby doll she knew was his favorite.
He rushed down the stairs in this big display of happy fervor before breaking the façade into drunken laughter that bounced off the cold walls. It took several moments for him to somewhat collect himself after taking another sloppy swig of alcohol straight from the bottle, watching the red liquid drop and stain the floor. He sniffed loudly as he picked up her wanted poster.
How? How was she alive? He heard from his sources that she was in little, podunk Alabasta of all places. He didn't believe it was true until one of his boys happened to show him a picture. And, it was undoubtedly her. She was alive and out there.
"Why did you do it, sweetheart? Why wouldn't you come back to me? I did everything to make you h-happy here," he said, voice more vulnerable than he could ever remember it being in his entire life.
What was he doing? He wasn't like this. He was better than this! He shook his head to snap out of it. He began to rip up the wanted poster. "You stupid, worthless bitch!"
The pieces on the floor were scattered but that smile was still visible, laughing at him, taunting him.
"Look what you've done to me," he said, defeated.
