Hey everyone!

I hope you're all having a great week so far. I've been really going through the motions so I decided to do a little writing, and I came up with this here. This is a little different from what I've previously written for this collection, and the focus here is mainly on Edgar.

As a little backstory for Edgar (since the show neglected to provide us with any), I previously mentioned in 'Better Circumstances' (maybe in Chapter 11 or 12) that he was adopted and the circumstances of such. Well, this piece focuses on that. The past seems to arise, and Edgar is stuck as he struggles to decide what to do.

So...here we are. This is Part One of 'Conflicted', for the Intimate Moments Collection.

Enjoy xo


Conflicted [Part One] [Intimate Moments Collection]

Edgar Pierce had worked hard to get to where he was today. A senior partner at a hugely successful law firm in New York City, a husband, and a father.

He had let go of the childhood that threatened to send him on a path of destruction and healed from the trauma that plagued him for years to come. With the help of his adoptive parents, he had grown into this hugely successful, loving and kind hearted man. He was fearless in a courtroom, and yet so friendly and lovable to those who were near and dear to him. Very rarely was there anything that left him feeling confused and shaken, until now.

Mondays were ridiculous anyway; that was for sure. However, Edgar was not at all prepared for the letter that lay on top of his stack of mail that waited for him on his desk after he returned from court.

The other mail was more so related to work and such, but this letter was different and one that shook Edgar. It was addressed to him, and when he looked at the return address, he nearly dropped the envelope to the floor; Glenda Brown. His birth mother.

The address was from the same city where he and his sister Adeline were born and raised, well, up until they were taken into the foster care system and ultimately adopted by the Pierces.

He sat down in his desk chair and did a mental calculation in his head; he was fifty one, and being that his parents were so young when they had him - nineteen and twenty-one respectively - then his mother had to be seventy now and his father would be seventy two. He simply stared at the envelope in his hand and wondered what he should do, but he figured that he would start with at least opening the piece of mail to see what was in there.

He tore open the envelope and pulled the folded paper from inside. He unfolded the paper, and he began reading the swirly handwriting as he sat back in his chair;

'Edgar;

You have no idea how many times over the years that I've started a letter like this, then stopped halfway through. I'm taking a chance now and writing to you, and I pray to the Lord almighty that you might find it in your heart to reply.

I'm clean now, and so is your Dad, we've been clean for good for the last fifteen years. I know we put you and your sister through so much but I pray that you'll forgive us someday. I thank God that you two were adopted by a loving family; you two never deserved the hell we put you both through. For that, I am forever sorry.

I want to make things right. Me and your Dad are both sick. I have been living with hepatitis C for the last ten years and my body is starting to get tired. Dad has cancer of the lungs which is starting to spread. God only knows how much time we have left, but before we leave this Earth, We would love a chance to speak with you and your sister in person. I wrote her a note as well.

Please consider seeing us. We would just like a chance to make things right and to say to your faces that we are sorry.

Forgive us - please?

With love,

Glenda'

Edgar felt like his head was going to explode as he reached the end of the letter. His birth mother had reached out after forty years and now wanted to see him and his sister? He had no idea how to react to that. Hell, he had no idea to react to any of this. He had spent so long trying to forget about that period of his childhood. Hell, he very rarely brought it up as it wasn't something that needed to be discussed. He had told his wife about the abuse in the early days of the relationship but other than that, this hardly ever came up and he hardly ever thought about it.

He thought about calling his sister or his parents to talk about this letter, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that right now. He simply folded the letter back up and put it back in the envelope before sitting with his head in his hands as he tried to get his thoughts together.

Then, the fog he was in dissipated as the sound of his office phone ringing filtered into his ears. He took a deep breath to shake off some of the feelings, then he picked up the phone as he slipped back into work mode;

"This is Edgar Pierce."


Edgar managed to power through the rest of the day, really because he was distracted by a few meetings with clients. He had stuffed the letter into the inner pocket of his suit jacket before leaving work around five.

As soon as he stepped into the beautiful Tribeca apartment, he was met with the sound of pots and pans clinking together along with his stepson's voice and his wife's laughter. He hung up his coat, then made his way further into the apartment and through to the kitchen. He smirked as he saw his stepson sitting at the counter with his homework slayed across the surface while his wife was steaming some broccoli to go with their chicken alfredo they were having tonight. He draped his suit jacket across the couch in the lounge area then made his way over towards the kitchen area.

"How the hell did you get here before me?" he wondered. He went over and kissed Noah's head then turned to his wife, who was wandering towards him with a smirk on her lips.

"Work wasn't that much of a shit show today so I twisted some arms and left around five, and considering I work five minutes away and not ten, that's why I beat you to the house - despite rush hour traffic." she had such a sassy look on her face as she draped her arms around his neck. Edgar simply rolled his eyes before leaning in for a quick kiss, then he pulled her in for a hug. After the day he had - especially after that letter he'd received - he definitely needed this hug from his wife.

Olivia's detective instincts kicked in as she felt how tight he was hugging her and how his body relaxed as soon as she wrapped her arms around him. She gave him another squeeze and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek then whispered; "You okay?"

Edgar didn't know how to answer that question. He thought about using his wife's typical response of "I'm fine" but decided against it. Instead, he simply nodded his head and whispered in her ear; "I'm good; just...been a day."

Olivia pulled back and looked up into his eyes. Edgar knew exactly what she was doing; she was trying to get a read on him as her detective instincts were in full force. He gave her a smile and kissed her forehead, though she was still looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Babe-"

"I promise I'm fine, Liv."

"That's my line." she teased. He let out a laugh as he gave her an affectionate squeeze. He appreciated her concern, but he didn't feel like talking about all of that right now, and especially not with Noah being awake. He simply gave his wife a kiss on the cheek again before heading towards his study to put his briefcase down.

He returned some moments later with the sleeves to his shirt rolled up slightly as well as a couple buttons undone on his shirt. Noah had just finished setting the table while Olivia put their food on the table. Edgar wandered up and stroked his fingers against her waist before grabbing some juice for them all. He took another breath to shake off some of his thoughts, then joined his little family at the table for some much needed dinner.

But throughout dinner, he couldn't stop the overwhelming thoughts of the day from creeping back into the forefront of his mind. Every word written in that letter was playing through his mind on a loop, linked in with memories of a childhood he had fought so hard to move on from. He didn't realize that he had checked out from the dinner conversation. He was simply eating a bit of his food here and there but mainly pushing it around. He couldn't stomach much tonight. His thoughts were too loud and anxiety was flooding through him.

Noah had been talking about school and dance but realized that his mother was a little more engaged than Edgar was. When his question regarding whether or not Edgar could attend his dance recital went unanswered, he tilted his head in confusion; "Dad, you okay?"

Olivia too had looked over at Edgar, who clearly had not heard a word the two of them had said as he continued to stare at his plate. She reached over and placed a hand on his arm, her voice being gentle yet full of concern as she spoke; "Babe."

That seemed to snap Edgar from the trance he had slipped in and he looked up. He saw two pairs of eyes staring at him, concern being evident in the shades of blue and brown. He gave a small smile as he took a breath; "I'm sorry, guys; what's up?"

Noah smiled at him as he replied; "I was asking if you could come to my dance recital on Wednesday night; Mom already said she will."

A smile formed on Edgar's face as he nodded his head. He hadn't missed anything involving his stepson yet and wouldn't start now. "You know I'll be there, buddy; you and your Mom always come before work."

Noah gave him a wide smile before focusing his attention back on his food. Edgar then looked up at Olivia, who raised an eyebrow as she still had her hand on his arm. "You sure you're okay?" she quietly asked.

He nodded his head, before leaning over to give her a kiss. He appreciated her concern, but he couldn't talk about it with her now.

Edgar did manage to be a little more engaged for the rest of dinner as Olivia and Noah managed to make him laugh, which lifted his spirits just a little. Once dinner was over, he told Olivia that he would clean up since she had made such an incredible meal. Olivia kissed his cheek then headed into the lounge with Noah while Edgar went about cleaning up. He scraped their plates then began loading the dishwasher with their various dishes and such.

However, without the distractions of his wife and son, he was starting to think again. He had slipped into a whirlwind of thoughts to the point where he didn't even realize Olivia had come up to him until he felt her hand on his back, causing him to jump and nearly drop the plate he was trying to load into the dishwasher.

He looked over his shoulder, only to be met with a look of concern. He gave her a soft smile; "You scared me, babe; I was miles away."

"Yeah, I can tell…" she tilted her head a little; "Are you okay, seriously?"

Edgar sighed a little as he finished loading the dishwasher. He closed the door and flipped the switch, then turned to her. He placed his hands on her arms and gave her a smile; "Liv, it's just been a rough couple weeks with work and stuff and I think it's catching up with me. I promise I'm okay, baby."

He wasn't ready to talk about what was in his head yet, so he just needed to deflect or something - just for a minute.

Olivia gave him a raised eyebrow. She stepped closer, draping an arm around his torso while her other hand rested on his chest; "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Fuck, she's going into cop mode." he thought to himself. Still, he simply nodded and gave her a kiss on her forehead; "I know, baby; and I appreciate your concern. I think I just need a vacation."

"Pft, you can say that again; between last week's case load and fucking CompStat, I need a vacation too…" she then moved her hand from his chest to rest on the side of his face; "We'll go somewhere soon; either the two of us or we'll take a family vacation. But in the meantime, I'm here - I hope you know that."

"I do, and I love you and appreciate you," he gave her soft kiss on her lips then smiled; "I'm gonna head into my study for a bit, work on a few things for court in the morning."

Olivia nodded her head and gave him a smile before heading off to the lounge to watch television with Noah for a bit. Edgar watched her go, then rubbed his hand over his neck as he made his way down the hall to go look over some paperwork. He just needed to shake off these thoughts and maybe diving into some work for a little bit would help him relax - or something.

The rest of the evening was pretty relaxed for the most part. Olivia and Noah watched television for a while until Noah decided he wanted to play video games, so Olivia simply laughed and told him not to stay up too late as he headed towards his room. She decided to go check on Edgar, so she stood up to do so.

As she stood up, his suit jacket fell to the floor behind her. She went around and picked it up, though she noticed an envelope had fallen out of the jacket pocket. She draped the jacket over her arm and picked the envelope up, but curiosity got the best of her as she read the words on the front. She didn't know who the person was who sent the letter, and she knew she probably shouldn't be looking either. However, curiosity got the best of her - and the detective in her started screaming - so she pulled the folded paper from the envelope. She unfolded the paper, then began reading the words on the paper.

As she read the words, she started making connections in her head: this was Edgar's birth mother. He had told her the hell that he and his sister, Adeline, had gone through with their birth parents before they were ultimately adopted, and she knew it had taken him a long time to move past it. Now, his behavior tonight was making a lot more sense.

She took a breath and put the jacket back down onto the couch. With the paper in her hand, she then made her way down the hall to his study.

Edgar was working on a few notes when he heard the knock on his door. He shouted "Come on in, baby" as he wrote a couple more notes on the paper. When the door opened, he looked up to say something, only to freeze a little when he saw the paper in Olivia's hand and the look on her face.

He sighed to himself; "So you found that?"

"It fell out of your jacket pocket when I picked it up…" she made her way over, "Is this what's got you in a daze tonight?"

"Liv, don't...just...don't." he took the letter from her and stuck it amongst some other notebooks on his desk.

"Babe...whatever you're feeling, you know you can trust me and talk to me, right?"

Edgar sighed as he dropped his ink pen onto his desk; "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That...that thing you do…" he rubbed his head before looking up at her; "Don't talk to me like I'm one of your victims."

"I wasn't trying to, but I just want you to know that whatever you feel is normal." she told him, her eyebrow arched. She knew this wasn't him and it was probably the stress that had him in defense mode, but she just needed him to know that she was there and that he didn't have to deal with this alone.

"Liv, I don't want to talk about it- okay?"

"Don't shut me out, Edgar…" she put her hand on his shoulder; "You haven't shut me out not once during our whole relationship, so don't do it now."

"I'm not, but I don't want to talk about it now…" he snapped a little as he looked up at her; "Let it go, Olivia; please!"

Olivia was taken aback by his tone. She furrowed her brow, then nodded her head; "Okay...I'm dropping it. Goodnight."

Edgar opened his mouth to say something but she was already out the door. He sighed when the door slammed shut behind her, and he put his head in his hands as he took a few breaths to calm himself down. He certainly didn't mean to slap at her, but he just felt so overwhelmed by everything and wished this would all go away.

He was so fucking conflicted about this whole sitaution, so he did the first thing he thought of to do.

He picked up the phone, and he called the only other person who could get him through just about anything - his adoptive mother, Kelly.


The rest of the night was a little tense in the Pierce family home. Edgar hadn't come out of his study and Olivia hadn't said much else. She knew he didn't mean to snap at her like he did, but it did hurt her feelings and until he got his head together, she didn't really want to talk to him.

However, it was Noah who asked a question that confused her a little. She had gone into his room to say goodnight and such, when he quietly asked; "Are you and Dad getting a divorce?"

Olivia furrowed her brow; "No honey, of course not. Why...where did that come from?"

"I was coming to show Dad something on the game and I heard you guys kind of arguing," Noah shrugged a little, his blue eyes shining with concern; "Jeremy said his mom and dad were arguing a lot and now they're getting a divorce, and I don't want you and Dad to get one too."

Olivia sighed a little. Though she and Edgar hadn't had a proper fight, it still hurt her to know that Noah heard them and started thinking the worst. She shook her head as she stroked her fingers over his curls; "Listen kid, me and your Dad are not divorcing; we love each other too much. Sometimes adults just have disagreements about things, and Dad's having a rough night so we kind of had a teeny argument. But we're fine, so don't you worry yourself about it."

Noah gave her a small smile while nodding his head in understanding. Olivia kissed his forehead then whispered; "Get some rest, sweetie; I love you."

"Night, Mom; I love you too." Noah whispered.

Olivia sat with him until he drifted off, then she made her way out of the room while closing the door behind him. She made her way down the hall and thought about poking her head into Edgars study again, but she shook her head and made her way down to their bedroom. She would give him time to process and he'd come to her when he was ready; she had to remember that.

It was about half an hour later when Edgar emerged from his study. He shut off the light and turned off the kitchen lights and so on, then made his way back down the hall. He first poked his head into Noah's room and kissed his forehead, then made his way further down the hall to the room he shared with his wife. He took a deep breath, then quietly opened the door and slipped inside. Her back was to him, leading him to quietly close the door behind him as he figured she was asleep.

He had just placed his watch on the dresser, and was now unbuttoning his shirt when he heard her soft voice in the darkness of the room; "Our son thought we were getting a divorce."

Edgar froze at the sound of her voice. He looked over his shoulder and asked; "Where in the world did that come from?"

"He heard us earlier, and apparently Jeremy's parents had been arguing and now they're divorcing." she replied as she turned onto her back. The lights of the city outside provided just enough light so she could see him, and she watched as he pulled off his shirt before then making his way over to sit along the side of their bed.

"I'll talk to him in the morning…" there was silence for a bit, then Edgar continued; "I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. I didn't mean it. It's just...this is...this shit is heavy, Liv."

She watched the way his shoulders slumped and the way he rubbed his neck. She sat up some more then shuffled up behind him, and before long Edgar felt warm hands massaging his neck and shoulders. It was amazing how Olivia could make him feel better, as he could already feel some of the tension fading away. He loved her, and he appreciated her so much.

"How do I handle that?" He continued; "They put me and Addy through hell, and now all these years later they wanna see us? What do I do with that information?"

"Have you talked to your sister?" Olivia wondered. She tugged him back so he'd lay down, leading him to lay back against the pillows of their bed.

"I have not, but I've talked to my mom - adopted mom I mean…" he moved his hands to her waist as she straddled him, something she did when they'd just be talking in bed. "Addy got a letter too and called Mom in tears about it, so I'll call and check on her tomorrow."

Olivia nodded. Situations and reactions to such weren't exactly uncommon; she'd heard enough of it all over the years. However, it was different when it was her husband and her sister in law. This was too close, but she had to keep a level head about it.

"Do you know what you want to do? Did Kelly give you any advice?" She wondered.

"You mean after she gave me an ass chewing for shutting you out?" He raised an eyebrow before laughing along with her. "But seriously, she told me that she couldn't make that decision for me, and to think about it."

"And she's right, nobody can make that decision for you…" Olivia nodded in agreement; "You also need to make sure you're comfortable with it; process then figure out what you want to do."

"What would you do?"

"I'm the wrong person to ask."

"Liv-"

"I mean, okay...I told you how my mother abused me until I ran away from home at sixteen, but…" she paused to collect herself, then continued; "But everyone's situation is different, and I know my mother and I ended up mending our relationship after I got older and all that and we had a good few years until she passed away. But I didn't talk to her for a few years, not until right after I joined the force. So...I can't tell you what to do, but I do know you have to be ready."

"I've moved on without talking to them for so long though, Liv," Edgar remarked; "I mean look...raised by a great family, and I've done so well. Do I need to drag all that up again?"

"I can't answer that question either, because I asked myself this same question before I made the decision to let my mother back into my life," Olivia replied with a shrug of her shoulders; "It's a tricky situation. You have to know if you're ready to tackle that obstacle. For me, I was ready but I also didn't want something to happen to me or my mother and us never have a chance to resolve everything. That was my thing, ya know?"

Edgar took in her words as he nodded. "And that's where I'm stuck; I partly don't want to but I would hate for something to happen and us not tackle it and such. I can't have that on my conscience."

Olivia nodded in understanding. She stroked her fingers over his cheek then she continued; "Take a few days or so to think about it, and see where your head is at. See where Adeline's head is at too, and then just...go from there."

She then leaned down a little and dropped a light kiss to his lips. She gave him a little smile then whispered; "And whatever you decide, I got your back."

Edgar sat up and wrapped his arms around for a tight hug. He was grateful to be sharing life with someone that he could be vulnerable with, and share innermost thoughts with. He knew that she was right; that he would have to process this and decide from there what to do. But for now, all he wanted to do is take a moment and just breathe with his wife resting comfortably in his arms.

He squeezed her, and he whispered ever so softly;

"I love you."


Thoughts please? I was pretty proud of this piece, so please be nice lol Seriously though, thank you for all your kind words. I appreciate you all so much. Sending a lot of love and light, and please be safe and wear your mask :)