Hi everyone!
I'm here with more Edson goodies. I just love writing this pair, and I'm glad that there are some of you out there that still read this and enjoy my work. I have so many half baked Edson goodies in my story vault that I need to work on; I'll get to that at some point.
This particular story is the first part of a piece that I'm calling 'I Just Want You'. This is based on the infamous letter, though it's not exactly what was displayed in the show.
Edgar finds the letter and reads it, thus resulting in an argument between him and Olivia - and she walks out. They'll fix things - right?
Enjoy xo
I Just Want You - Part One [Intimate Moments Collection]
She knew something was off when he'd stopped texting her and her follow up text messages went unanswered when she told him she was done with work. She had a plan tonight; go home, get changed, and hang out with him since they had a kid free house tonight.
However, she didn't realize how bad this night was about to get.
Olivia stepped into the fancy Tribeca apartment she shared with her husband and son, only to be met with silence. She locked the door and hung up her jacket, before stepping further into the apartment. "Babe, I'm home!" she called out.
Still no answer.
"Edgar!" she called again. She rounded the corner to the kitchen, only to stop when she saw him sitting at the island counter, sipping a glass of scotch with a folded piece of paper beside him. She raised an eyebrow as she stepped closer; "You didn't hear me calling you?" she opted to start off lighthearted, but she could already tell that he wasn't in the mood.
Edgar simply took another sip of his drink then pushed the letter towards her; "I found the note from Stabler."
Olivia raised an eyebrow, confusion etched across her features for a brief moment. It then dawned on her what he was talking about; Elliot - her former partner - had returned to the city after ten years of radio silence, and not only did he take Olivia by surprise but he also gave her a letter. She had run into him one day when she was out with Noah; he'd caught her off guard and given her this folded piece of paper;
"I know you're married now, but you do at least deserve to know some things."
"Thanks."
"And I know this won't change anything, but...you know."
"It won't, because I'm madly in love with him and have everything I want and need."
She had forgotten all about that letter; stuffed it into the inner pocket of her blazer where it had been for the last two weeks until she took the blazer out of her car and finally brought it inside. She had been busy after all; between work and home life with her family, she really didn't remember this letter nor had she read it. She didn't care; she had moved on and didn't give a damn about Elliot.
"Where did you find that?" she asked.
"It fell outta your blazer pocket when I was doing laundry today," Edgar shrugged, fiddling with the glass in his hand; "So, you...you just weren't gonna tell me?"
"It's not like that..." she sighed as she put her bag down on the counter; she then stepped closer and continued; "Edgar, I didn't read it; I honestly stuffed it into my pocket and forgot about it."
"Your former partner who you had an intense history with comes back and gives you a letter, basically confessing to some feelings for you, and you just happened to forget about it?"
Olivia didn't like the tone of his voice right now, but she was trying to stay calm because she could see how this looked. Still, she felt like she needed to defend herself, so she took a breath before continuing;
"That blazer has been in my car for two weeks; I forgot!"
"Convenient how the blazer that had this letter in it was forgotten in your car for a couple weeks."
She scoffed; "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Liv, it just looks like you were hiding this from me, and-
"Edgar, you can't be fucking serious!"
"Your partner comes back outta the blue, and-"
"And I don't care that he did!"
"You told me yourself that you had complex feelings for him, Olivia," he tilted his head then, now standing toe to toe with the fiery police Captain; "Are you sure you didn't read it and considered talking to-"
Before he could finish, he felt a searing pain in his cheek as his head whipped to the side; she had just slapped fire from him. He turned his head and looked back at her, she was breathing heavily and tears were already streaming down her cheeks.
He knew from that look alone that he had truly fucked up.
"I can't believe you, I really can't fucking believe you," she shook her head before continuing;
"I didn't even read that letter! He came up to me and Noah one day and gave it to me, I stuffed it in my pocket and forgot about it because it's not fucking important to me! I don't give a fuck about that goddamn letter nor do I give two flying shits that he's back!"
She was starting to cry now, and Edgar felt horrible. However, before he could even get a word in, she was speaking again;
"I'm madly in love with you! You're everything to me, Edgar, and nobody else - especially not him - could ever take your place, and fuck you for thinking anything different or thinking so less of me!"
With that, she grabbed her keys and phone and made her way to the door. Edgar was hot on her heels, reaching out for her; "Baby...baby wait-"
"No...get off me," she shook her head, more tears streaming down her face; "Just...I need a minute!"
With that, she stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Edgar groaned as he dragged his hand down his face;
"Goddammit!"
The night was torturous for both Edgar and Olivia.
Olivia drove around for a little while as she tried to stop crying and tried to stop her heart from hurting. She couldn't believe that Edgar really thought so little of her and of their relationship. He truly thought that she was hiding something from him when in all actuality, she really had completely forgotten about this letter. Now that it had been brought up again, she remembered the day she had received it and the aftermath of such;
Edgar was at work, and she and Noah spent the morning sledding in Central Park and just spending time together before she had to go into work later in the afternoon. Noah was now sledding by himself down a slope with a couple other friends that were in the park with their parents, and Olivia was watching him at a safe distance when suddenly she heard a voice behind her;
"Liv?"
She looked up; the blue eyes belonging to her former partner were staring back at her. She wondered what he was doing in the park or why the hell he decided to approach her right now, but she wouldn't cause a scene. She simply turned to him and tilted her head;
"What are you doing here?"
They talked for a little; he apologized for a few things relating to the case and told her a little about Italy, which is where he had been living for the past decade. He then went on about not being one to string words together and told her that he had written a lot of things down in a letter for her. As he slipped the piece of paper into her hand, he spoke; "I know you're married now, but you do at least deserve to know some things."
Her glove covered fingers curled around the folded piece of paper as she looked from the paper to his eyes again. She took a breath then spoke; "Thanks."
He nodded, then continued; "And I know this won't change anything, but...you know."
That's what she needed to hear and needed him to understand. Anything they thought was between them had died a long time ago, at least on her part. She moved on, and she was glad he realized that. She nodded her head in response;
"It won't, because I'm madly in love with him and have everything I want and need."
Their moment was interrupted by Noah flying over to her, telling her about something he had just done on his sled. She focused her attention on him then and headed back across the park with him, while stuffing the letter further into her pocket. Her focus was on her family now, not something that needed to stay in the past. After all, it was no longer relevant to now.
Olivia swallowed at the memory. She remembered that later in the day, the letter had fallen out of her coat pocket so she simply picked it up and stuffed it in an inner pocket of her blazer before going about the work day. She didn't think about it anymore; the blazer had ended up in the backseat of her car as she spilled coffee on it and had to change. It remained there for the next couple weeks up until a day or so ago when she was cleaning out her car and decided to finally bring it inside.
And now here they were; launched into chaos and confusion.
She stopped and grabbed a coffee before finally pulling up at the precinct. She headed inside with her head down; it was late and she figured her squad was gone home, so she wouldn't have to answer any questions from them. She just wanted to get to her office and curl up on the couch.
Her desk sergeant greeted her with a smile and asked if everything was okay, to which she simply mentioned having some paperwork to do and that she would be there for a while before she then hurried into her office. She closed and locked the door, and she put her coffee down and tossed her coat aside, before curling up on her couch.
And with that, she finally allowed the tears to flow. God she hated this so much; she wanted to scream until she passed out. She hated fighting with Edgar but she was just so hurt right now.
She sat there for a few minutes before she made her way to her desk, her hands reaching straight away for the bottom drawer. She pulled out a bottle of bourbon that she always kept in her desk; only very little had been drunk out of it, she usually brought it out after the worst cases. She simply sat down on her couch with the bottle in her hand, and before long she found herself taking a swig from the bottle as more tears continued to fall down her cheeks.
She hated this so much, and yet right now, she just needed some space from the man she loved.
Meanwhile at the apartment, Edgar was going crazy. He had text her multiple times, begging her to just come back home and to talk. The texts went unanswered. His calls to her went ignored as well, to the point where he knew she was declining them as it would ring twice before going to her voicemail. He left more voicemails, begging her to just talk to him and to please call him back.
He fucked up for real this time.
He knew better. He knew Olivia. She would never hide things from him; that's what he always admired about her, how truly raw and honest she could be. But when he found and eventually read the letter, his mind had been racing;
She worked so hard, and being that he was off today, he figured he would do the laundry. He had just joked with her when she brought a couple blazers and a sweater out of her car the previous evening when she came home; 'You finally emptied out your backseat closet'. He joked. She had laughed, and the sound gave him butterflies as per usual.
He was throwing her thinner blazers into the wash when a piece of paper fell out of the pocket of one. He started the wash then picked the paper up, and when he realized it was a letter from her former partner, his mind was racing. When he read the contents of the letter, he felt his stomach churn as waves of insecurities began washing over him. This former partner that she had once been so close to had now returned, and now he was sharing his obvious feelings for her in the midst of a letter - a letter that she hadn't dared mention to him and instead had hidden in the pocket of her blazer?
She had previously mentioned the complex feelings surrounding this former partner, so what if she was now reconsidering this marriage and considering a future with the man that had once been the only family she had? The thought made him sick.
He shuddered at the memory. The argument between him and Olivia had further ensued out of his jealousy and her defensiveness. He knew deep down that she was being truthful, but he also knew that wave of defensiveness probably came from years of having to defend herself against stupid rumors anyway. Still, he felt absolutely horrible now and wanted nothing more than to make this right.
His phone buzzed, and he jumped to grab it. A short wave of relief washed over him when he realized it was a text from Olivia, but when he read the message, his heart sank further as little tears gathered in his eyes;
'I'm at the precinct. I'm fine. I just need a minute, so please leave me alone.'
He was crushed. She had never told him to leave her alone.
Now he was worried, and he felt sick.
Dun dun dunnn! Well - please leave your reviews. Again, I truly enjoy writing this pairing and I especially enjoyed writing this piece. Part two will come soon! Please, stay safe and wear your mask! :) Until next time xo
