I have an AP test this week
TW: disordered eating/anorexia, disordered thinking, body dysmorphia, body shaming, twisted thinking, dizziness, feeling faint/fainting
Previously…
In fact… maybe it was time to revamp his diet. Three crackers a day… what was he thinking? All those carbs… it was too much. And a meal a week? Did he really need it? He felt fine… and he would be fine without his crackers and weekly meal too. He would only eat when it was absolutely necessary.
That would make him lose weight. Maybe his friends would like him more, or maybe Ryan would come back… George really wanted Ryan back. He missed having someone to love, someone to love him back. He would sacrifice his health for Ryan… hell, he already had.
George just hoped his efforts wouldn't go unnoticed.
3rd Person P.O.V.
A few days had passed since George had turned down plans to meet up with Dream and Sapnap, and things were getting worse. George hadn't eaten anything at all in days, drowning in his own denial.
His health had tanked. George was really struggling to function, his body weak from starvation. He was constantly dizzy and faint, and he felt sluggish. Physically, he felt horrible. He looked horrible, too. He had deep purple eye bags that stood out like a sore thumb against his paling skin. George slept constantly, but he never felt rested or energetic.
Mentally… well, George had a distorted view of things. To anyone else, he would appear on the edge of death, awfully sick and nowhere near okay. But to George… all he saw were the numbers, the sizes, the slim shape he wished to have. He was so lost in the cycle that he couldn't even see the other side.
But it didn't really matter to him anyway. What did he have to live for? His friends meant everything to him… and they surely hated him by now. If not for rejecting their offer, then for ignoring them for days on end.
Maybe he should've agreed to the meetup. At least then he'd have his friends. Well, at least until they actually saw him in person… then they would hate him for sure. So what was the point? For George, this felt like a lose-lose situation.
He yawned, stretching slowly. His eyes felt heavy, despite the fact that he had done absolutely nothing today. George hadn't even left his bed. Why should he? What would be the benefit?
George grumbled quietly, curling up into a ball. The hunger pains were starting to become unbearable. He managed to ignore them for a while, but it hurt worse now. Still, he refused to eat anything. The last time he ate anything with real nutritional value was a week and a half ago, really it was amazing he was still going.
George closed his eyes, sighing. It hurt now, but it would all be worth it in the end. He would lose weight, get Ryan back, and live a happy life with him… right? After he lost the weight, he would return to his normal eating habits. George was certain that he could stop anytime he wanted. After all, it was just a temporary diet, right?
Yeah. Temporary. No problem.
George opened his eyes, groaning. He must've fallen back asleep while lost in his thoughts. That had been happening a lot lately. He had hardly even left his bed in days. George just laid there, drifting in and out of consciousness. It wasn't healthy. It couldn't be healthy. But that didn't matter; the only thing that was important to George at this point was losing weight. Which was definitely happening. The once-healthy man had become nothing more than a shell of his former self, just skin and bones.
George's phone rang, startling him. His phone was on silent, it had been for several days. He hadn't even bothered to check it since it was put on silent. But now it was ringing, which meant Dream was calling– the only person whose calls would go through when his phone was silenced.
George laid there for a moment, debating whether or not he should pick up. On one hand, he really didn't want to move. But on the other hand… Dream was probably calling for a reason. Otherwise, he would've just texted.
While George was thinking, his phone had stopped ringing. He didn't even notice, far too lost in his own mind to hear what was going on around him. When he finally came back to reality, his phone had gone quiet, and George's hazy mind almost forgot about it.
Almost.
George reached out a shaky hand, slowly grabbing his phone from his nightstand. The screen lit up immediately, blinding him for a second. He dimmed the brightness, scrolling through his notifications. There were hundreds of messages and missed calls, mostly from Dream, but some from his other friends. He must've missed the rest of Dream's calls somehow.
His arms shook with the effort of holding his phone above his head, so George turned onto his side, resting one arm against his mattress. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. His phone rang again, making him jolt. George answered the call, holding his phone up to his ear.
"GEORGE?" Dream screeched. The brunette winced, turning his head away from the offending noise. "George? Are you there? Please respond!" Dream cried, sounding scared and upset.
"Hi," he murmured in response, closing his eyes and letting out a soft breath.
"George!" Dream gasped, relieved. "Are you okay? Where have you been? I've been so worried-"
"'m alright," George mumbled.
"..." Dream was quiet for a moment. "Are you sure?" He questioned.
"Mhm."
"Um… alright, well I just wanted to check on you. We haven't spoken since, well, since we talked about a meetup… and I just wanted you to know that it's okay. If you don't want to meet up, Sapnap and I aren't going to force you to. We aren't mad at you either, so… yeah." Dream paused. "We both hope you're alright."
"Yeah," George replied, voice barely louder than a whisper. Something felt wrong. It was a familiar type of wrong, but that didn't make it any better. "Um… I'm really tired… I'll call you back tonight."
"Wait, Geor-" George hung up, eyes rolling back into his head just moments later. His body lay sprawled out against his bed, unmoving. The only sign of life was the slow rise and fall of his chest, an abnormally slow heartbeat keeping him alive.
He was running out of time.
And I'm running out of pre written chapters
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