I've gone through most of my life pretty confident about my gender. I'm a woman. I'm usually pretty happy about that, except when I contemplate babies. But then again, it's not like being a man would keep me safe from pregnancy. If someone up there decides to look back as you gaze into the stars, then that's it. It's parenthood for you. You are pulled up, up, up into the stars, and they do whatever it is they do to get you pregnant, male or female.

Unless you are a child. Although children who are abducted to seem to have a drive to recreate the abduction as an adult. Many Sims have been abducted and impregnated, but no Sim can agree on the details of what exactly happens to someone abducted. There are books, movies, and video games all speculating about it, but I suppose the only real truth belongs to those who follow the allure of the stars.

Point is, I'm pretty cool with being a female. So I can't really explain the voice in my head freaking out about gender. It's not mine.

Though it does sound familiar. Like someone I know. Family? I have a lot of family in weird places. Low paid actors like Piper and Aiden. Maids, crime bosses, police. And then theres Whatever the heck Uncle Hayseed is.

"He's a farmer. Not exactly sure what he grows, but I spent enough time mowing that damn lawn."

Wait. Wait wait wait.

"Elaze?"

I look into the reflective showerhead. There's nothing different about my eyes. Then I realise I have been having an apparant gender crisis while nude in the shower. A jail shower.

Yikes.

I dry off and get dressed. I try not to think about anything.

Impossible.

But it sounds like- Mal-"achi. Yah. Took you long enough cousin. What did you forget about me?"

Aren't we technically third cousins who mostly see eachother at the family reunions?

"Petty details."

Weren't you nowheresville Sims Valley? Or possibly Space?

"Yes I was in Simvalley. And I was on a rocket to Space."

Did space teach you the ability to astral project into my brain?

"Astral proje- how stupid are you Elaze?

I'm not stupid. But you 'dear cousin', are a stupid nerd who tried to go to space and got so lost you ended up in my brain.

"I'm not lost. I'm clearly in jail. What, forget to pay your bills?"

Who goes to jail for forgetting to pay your bills?

"..."

By the creator, that's hilarious! Obviously I was in jail for something far cooler then forgetting to pay my bills!

"You were in jail for B&E. I assumed you ran out of food money."

Nah Man, the broken vending machine had me covered for that.

"Broken vending machine? Elaze, where the hell have you been living?"

Wouldn't you like to know nerd?

"I will"

And before I can protest, he's looking through my head.

"Elaze is living in a an apartment in renovation and relying on vending machine food while you clean bird poop off of windows really cooler then forgetting to pay the bills."

Cooler then paying rent to live in Hayseeds barn.

"You couldn't even decorate it. Its under repairs. You were only talking to three people."

That may be so. But I got super ripped in the process.

"You had a job that you kept doing even though you were fired."

And despite that, I kept getting paid.

The system is broken, but I'm sure making it work for me. I was living in a penthouse, in the city, for free.

"Beacuse you were there illegally. Besides mowing the lawn is so much more dignified then all the bird poop that landed on you."

It might not be my dream job of making a living in the city, but at least it was a living. Besides, now I'm homeless and jobless.

"But not broke."

No. Also jacked, can't forget that Nerd.

"Yes. You have muscle. Maybe you can get a job as a bodyguard for some criminal. You can be Giuseppi Mezzoalto's dumb muscle."

Who is that? Some kind of opera singer?

"He's like the town robber and black market dealer. One time he kidnapped Uncle Hayseed and threatened to kill him with a guillotine."

Hayseed? Really? That seems really extreme?

"He's an extreme sort of guy."

If you say so.

"I do say so. But in the meantime, we can solve one of our problems, and take the good detective up on his offer of basketball for money. You can show off your muscles and get promoted in no time."

Then what the hell are we still hanging in jail for? Come on.