You'll Be Okay
It's been 3 months and JJ can tell John B is stressed. Big John isn't back yet and he has not called or answered his phone since he left. He's taken long trips before but never this long. And he ALWAYS calls. JJ was able to distract John B in the beginning but JJ can see that he's close to a break down and JJ has long run out of excuses for why Big John hasn't reached out. She is worried too.
She swallows her worry and walks to where John B is currently pacing his kitchen silently. He doesn't talk about it but JJ can tell that something happened between Big John and John B when they parted. John B has a guilty look in his eye whenever his dad gets brought up but he's yet to bring it up and JJ doesn't ask. She's never been good with emotions. Neither is John B. It was always Pope and Kie that were open with their emotions. Kie hasn't been hanging around in a while and A spike of hurt always pangs her heart when she thinks of her friend.
Kie's parents came into some money when their restaurant picked up and Kie moved schools and made new friends. She doesn't have time for the Pogues anymore. JJ and John B are used to being abandoned but it still hurt. Pope especially felt the loss of Kie. JJ suspects that he had little crush on Kie but she's not 100% sure.
Kie was always better at dealing with these types of things though and JJ wishes she was here now to tell her what to do.
She hears the fridge open and is broken out of her thoughts at the sound of a bottle being set on the counter. She looks over at John B in the kitchen and sees he has broken out a bottle of vodka. She hates that a second of fear washes through her and she shakes it off. John B isn't her dad and would never hurt her no matter what. She sadly watches him take a big swig. She decides she needs to say something.
"Joh-"
"Don't." He interrupts. So she doesn't talk. Instead she walks up to him and wraps her arms around his waist. At first he stiffens but then he wraps his arms around her too. She feels some of the tension leave his body and she pulls back and takes one of his hands in hers. He is looking very distant like his mind is far away so she squeezes his hand and pulls him to the room and pulls him onto the bed with her. She turns on her side and pulls John B to wrap around her back, spooning. She can feel his breath in her hair and she squeezes his hand just giving him space but letting him know she's there and it's going to be ok without words. She feels a droplet fall on her neck as he buried his face in her hair and his arms wrap around her more securely. They stay like that the whole night until their breaths evened out and sleep claimed them both.
The next morning JJ woke up still wrapped in John B's arms. She felt something pressing into her back and her heart beat picked up a little. She untangled herself without waking John B and went to kitchen to make breakfast trying to pull herself together.
John B came in 20 minutes later with bed head and lookin still half asleep. She handed him a plate of eggs and toast and watched him eat it quietly.
After breakfast JJ went to shower when she heard a knock at the door. She hears John B answer and some talking then Some yelling but she couldn't make it out. She tried to hurry into her clothes and rushed into the living room but John B had already taken off out of the house and she could hear the HMS Pogue starting up. Standing wide eyed by the kitchen table were two officers. A piece of paper lay out in front of them. A pit of dread went through her.
"What's going on?" JJ asked.
"We're calling off the search for John Routeledge. He's been assumed lost at sea and we need him to sign these papers. "
Anger went through her but she didn't say anything because she also feared it was true.
"Just go." She finally said because she needed to find John B and they were in her way. They left with unapologetic faces like they didn't just crush a young boys soul. In the cut we don't matter and that's just the way it is.
After the cops left, JJ left and searched all the spots she could think of that John B would go but she couldn't find him. Not even the old church. She decided to go into kook territory if only out of desperation to find John B.
She didn't expect to find him there. Especially not cornered in a huge yard of a huge house with a party obviously raging inside. Rafe Cameron, Topper, Kelce and two other kook goons that followed Rafe and Topper around were surrounding John B and it looked like a fight was about to break out. What's he even doing here? She quickly parked her dirt bike in the road. Nobody noticed her presence yet as she approached. Before she could make it over or hear words exchanged, John B's fist flew into Rafe's face and a resounding crack could be heard. Definitely fractured his nose. Hell broke loose. As Rafe held his bloody nose, the other four ganged up on John B. John B was outnumbered and was quickly restrained by Topper and Kelce while the other two punched him a couple times. John B kicked but he couldn't break free tho he did manage to kick one the kooks knees.
JJ was running now. Rafe recovered finally and was now looking at John B with hatred. To get Rafe's attention away from John B, JJ grabbed a rock midrun and threw it at the back of Rafe's head. It hit its mark and Rafe swung around eyes narrowing when they found her.
"Look what we have here boys! The island whore!" Rafe laughed. "Come to save your boy toy? I'm afraid I'm not done with him yet. He's gotta learn his place. Although.." he sticks his finger on his chin as if to think tho JJ can see a glint in his eyes and the way his eyes swept over her gave her the creeps. "You're looking good tonight JJ, perhaps you could convince me to let him go."
John B struggled in his hold, but JJ smiled sweetly at Rafe and he stilled not believing what he was seeing. She wouldn't actually sleep with Rafe would she?
JJ stepped up close to Rafe with a flirty gleam in her eye and in a seductive voice she said, "Well.. if a little time with little old me is all you want.." she bats her eyes and John B feels a little nauseous til he sees it. The wicked curve of her lip that she always gets when she's about to pull off one of her terrible plans that almost always land them in trouble. Rafe is leaning in and the boys holding John B loosen their grip a little giving John B the opportunity to knock his elbow back into one of their faces and escape their hold.
"Except I'd rather be dead!" He hears JJ laugh and he notices Rafe on the ground with his hands covering his crotch. John B quickly grabs JJ's hand and they book it, JJ no longer laughing as she focuses on keeping up. The run all the way to the beach where they plop down on the sand, heavy breaths in the air as they catch their breath.
JJ remembers she left her dirt bike behind but she can get it tomorrow. Now she is focused on John B who has fallen quiet and is staring at the sky with a stubborn yet heartbroken look on his face.
JJ raises her fingers to his bruised cheek. "John B…" and she falls quiet because she doesn't know what fo say. He's hurting and she doesn't know how to help. Her dad was right. She's useless.
"He's not dead, JJ." He says with fierce determination. " he's not. He can't be. "
And JJ feels tears sting her eyes but she holds them in. its not what he needs right now.
She hears his voice waiver at the end of his denial and she just can't be the one to break his heart so she just says, "I believe you."
He sighs in relief like what you just said was the glue that is holding him together and JJ beat herself up internally for being too weak to tell John B the truth that Big John was probably not coming home and it would be better to not live in denial but is it better? JJ doesn't know but she decides she doesn't care because John B is looking at her like she just gave him a lifeline and he is her family and she can't lose him.
The sky starts to lighten into morning when they finally leave the beach on the nearby docked HMS Pogue and head back to the chateau. They both don't say anything else but the way John B lingers at his doorway and looks back at JJ like he wants to ask her something is all she needs before she's following him to his room and falling asleep with him wrapped around her. JJ's last thought before sleep took hold was "I'll always be here for you John B. I'm gonna make sure you are okay. "
