Careless

Category: Anime Fairy Tail

Author: MisZ Anarchy

Language: English

Rating: M

Disclaim – Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.

Chapter 11 – And then hook up

"Do you remember happy together? I do, don't you? Then all of a sudden you're sick to your stomach, is that still true?" Gracie Abrams – I miss you, I'm sorry

As we drove in the mini bus toward our destination I look at the window, it was early, way too early for me to be up and at work. I hear the commotion of the other people talking but I just wanted to get back to bed. It was 4 AM for fucks sake.

"Laxus how the hell did you finally get a girlfriend?" Mavis our Commanding officer asks as she turns in her seat and she talks to the male sitting in the seat next to me.

I hear Laxus chuckle as he shakes his head and he looks down. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He says chuckling and scratching his head like he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Don't bullshit us. With the rumours going around, we know who you like…" Mavis states and she smiles as she looks to me and then back to the others in the back. Laxis really seems surprised about this as he looks to me and then to Zeref and Jellal. "Levy has told everyone that you have a thing for her." And to this I look up and then to Laxus.

That was some funny bullshit because I knew he mentioned that Levy once mentioned that she was with him and that they were dating but that was bullshit.

"You got to be kidding me." Grey says as he looks up from his phone and at this Mavis burst out laughing.

"That is what she said." Mavis said and I see Laxus' eyes go wide.

"That… me and her never happened. That I promise." Laxus says as he nervously looks around.

"So then it's true your dating Heartfelia?" at this Laxus goes completely quiet as we all look to him. His silence and the slight blush on his cheeks gave him away. "We have all seen you two driving together and I have personally seen you two all cosy with each other." Mavis continues.

"Dammit Laxus, thought you would tell a friend." Zeref explains as he hits Laxus on the back.

"I kinda knew you two would get together." Grey states with a smile and I look to Laxus, a frown on my face. I felt heartbroken and angry and jealous as I stared at my friend as our other co-workers in the bus congratulates my friend. I had a bile taste in my mouth as I finally look to the window again.

"Natsu…" I hear my name and look to the voice who called me, not too sure who it was. Then I see Mavis looking at me. "Aren't you going to congratulate your friend?" she asks and there is a deep frown on my face but I soon roll my eyes and look to Laxus with a smile.

"I am still half asleep sorry. Lax you know I'm happy for you." I say with a nod and then I hear the other cheer. "So when did you two start?" I ask and curiously try to fish this information from my best friend.

I hear Laxus laugh and then shake his head from side to side. "Hey I never confirmed nor denied and you will hear nothing of it from my lips. Let's focus on the operation instead." Laxus says playing coy and at this Jellal hits him over the head but laughs. Soon we arrive at the spot where we need to parade.

It went by in a blur how Laxus handed me the shotgun I would be carrying today and then standing parade. Before I knew it we were all back at the station, the mini bus parked and everyone was filling out to take the additional firearms back to the safe. Laxus took his Rifle and my shotgun as I aimlessly got out and walked to my car.

I can't explain this feeling I was feeling. It was heartbreak, and sadness and jealousy and just too many emotions all at once and I just couldn't handle that. I was still trying to process the fact that Laxus was now dating Lucy. And that's when I hear her.

"Natsu!" I don't look up as I unlock my car and I open the door. "Natsu!" this time it was louder and then it's like a force hit my body as I feel her arms wrap around me and her body is warm and soft as she hugs me.

I see her blonde hair and then I look into her eyes as she smiles to me, I stare down at her not knowing how to react, not even returning her embrace. I gulp as I look into those big eyes as she smiles but soon that smiles turns into a frown.

"Are you ok?" she asks as she lets go of me and takes a step back as she looks to me, her expression worried. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"When were you going to tell me?" I ask and my voice is low as she furrows her brows like she didn't understand what I was saying. "You and Laxus?" I ask as I continue to look down at her.

I watch as she gulps, her eyes boring into mine. Her lower lip quivering as she stares at me. "I…" she starts then stops and she licks her bottom lip. She sighs as she looks down. "I didn't mean to hide it." She whispers. She keeps her eyes down on the ground unable to look to me.

"Yeah I just had to find out from Mavis… I thought you would have told me at least." She looks up and her eyes are wide as she looks to me her lower lip between her teeth. "It's okay we are just friends anyway right, nothing to worry about." I say as I turn to my car preparing to get in and just close the door and go home.

"Natsu…" she starts but I get into the car anyway and I close my door refusing to open my window as I place the key in the ignition. I couldn't look at her right now, I couldn't face any one of them in this state. She places her hand against my window, and I glance to her glaring at her. She instantly removed her hand from the window and I start my car reversing out of my parking space. I didn't look to her once after that.

"I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive, I hope you know she's the one by the end of the night,"Gabby Barrett and Charlie Puth – I hope

I had every right to feel how I felt. Yet I didn't have the right to feel like that. I know people are judging me right now. I was a married man, who was infatuated with another woman, willing to commit adultery for this woman but I was married and I was going on like nothing changed between me and my wife. Then we look to Lucy, she had the right to her happiness, she could start dating and be with who she wanted to be with. Double standards? Right I know.

I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. But that wasn't fair was it? I chuckle as I take a docket and paper work with me to the boardroom. I would be sitting there while doing my paper work and then the nurse could draw blood as well from my drunk and driving suspect.

I pass some of the other members and then enter the boardroom looking around for a seat. I take the one on the other side of the room. I see Zeref sitting next to his suspect asking his information as he wrote it down.

"Who is going to take the cases to be registered?" Jellal asks sitting down with his own suspect.

"We should ask the data typist to register them first to ensure we can draw the blood fast." Hibiki states looking up and I nod my head.

"Just do part A and B and write the suspects info on the back with what car they drove." That voice, it had been two weeks since I heard it. I don't even look up but I hear her footsteps. "You can give it to me and I can register it." Lucy says as she stops next to Hibiki and looks at his documents.

"That be great!" Grey states as he turns his page. "Thanks Lucy." I feel her eyes on me but I can't find it in me to look up and to look at her.

"Just call me…" she says and her voice a bit lower now but soon I hear her foot steps and she leaves again. I finally look up and I look around the table and everyone seems too busy with their dockets. I look down again as I write my docket. It took a few minutes but I was the first one who finished.

I rise to my feet and look for part A and B and then look around the table. Everyone still busy, knowing Jellal he would still be busy 3 hours from now. Zeref looks up and smiles.

"Going to register your case?" he asks and I just nod my head as I start to move to the door. "Take mine?" I raise my brow at the young male.

"Am I your messenger?" I ask and at this Zeref chuckles.

"You sure look it." He reply and to this I grab his paper in my hand and then I zap him with my other hand as I move, soon I am outside and I look to the side where the main offices are and I look to where I know Lucy is sitting. I sigh, I really didn't want to go to her and I really didn't want to wait for case to be registered. I take a deep breath and take a step into her direction.

My feet drag as I feel my feelings well up, the feelings I have been fighting for the past two weeks. Every step closer I feel anger and jealousy and hurt fill me and I feel like my feet are dragging. I turn the corner, taking my steps slower and slower till I turn and I am faced with her office the door wide open.

I take a deep breath before I take a step and then I hear movement in her office and soon she turns into the passage and she looks at me, her eyes meeting mine, she seemed pale in the dim light of the hallway. Her hands reach up as she take out her earphones and she looks up to me in complete surprise.

"Natsu…" her voice is soft and small as she blinks once and then twice… "Do you need me to register that for you?" she asks. Her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes fixed on mine.

"Yeah. If you could." I say reaching my arm out to hand her the papers. Her eyes follows the paper and then she takes a small step forward before she takes the papers. "Thanks." I say as I turn on my heel and I walk off and back to the boardroom without another word. She doesn't say anything after that and she doesn't even put in an effort to stop me. I guess this was what it was and whatever was going to happen between us would never happen anymore. I needed to cut her from my life and I needed to handle her like I would a co-worker.

I move back to my seat in the boardroom and I start with my statement not paying much attention to anyone. If my mind lingered to long I would find myself thinking of the blonde and I would just get filled with emotions I didn't need. So when after some time Zeref places my papers in front of me, that's when I notice that most of the people had left and I was the only one left in the boardroom.

I look up to the younger male who gives me a smile. "I got this for you." He says and I take the papers looking at them and nodding my head in a thanks. "I am going to take my suspect to the cells then I am leaving with Hibiki to try and make another arrest." At this I also nod my head and continue to write.

He leaves without a word and soon I am left to my own thoughts and the only thing I hear is my pen against the paper. I look at my watch, we still had a good 4 hours before going home and I wasn't in the mood to continue to work… if I finished I could have just sat with Lucy and talk but I couldn't.

"You can't what?" I look up and my eyes meet Lucy's as she stands in the door. Her arms folded over her chest as she stares at me. I frown and tilt my head not sure what she meant. "You said 'I couldn't'" she says. I look down not even sure why I said that out loud.

"Nothing." I say as I look back down to the paper I was writing on. Not even sure what the fuck I was writing. I starts to move somewhat in my seat and soon she pulls out the seat next to me and I shake my head. I didn't want her here.

"Do you need help?" she asks as she takes a page of the statement I was writing on and she scans over it, her eyes darting towards me every now and then. "You might need to write this again…" she states placing the page back and I take it and I read over a few line, it wasn't making any sense.

I huff a breath and then throw the paper aside as I grab a blank page again. I start again but I find myself every now and again looking at Lucy as she sat next to me. I bite my tongue. I wasn't going to talk to her or anything.

"I'm sorry…" it was a whisper and I act like I don't hear anything. "Natsu, I am sorry I didn't tell you. I have no real excuse for not telling you but I just didn't want people to know… because I wasn't sure of it myself… and …" I look up and my eyes meet her eyes.

"Stop. I don't want nor need to know." I say looking back to my pages.

Lucy grabbed at my arm and then pulls me, making me look to her. "You need to." She says and I can see her eyes watering, almost on the verge of tears. I take a deep breath as I look at her with no emotion on my face. "I didn't expect it to be like this… like I told you that one day I wanted what I wanted with you before this could happen and somehow it was jumped on me." The tears were welling up but they weren't falling.

I shouldn't care. I look back down at my papers because I can't find it in myself to believe what she was saying, her grip on my arm tightening as she rise to her feet and take a step closer and then I feel her other hand on my cheek, forcing me to look up at her… she wasn't crying but I could see her sadness seep from her.

"Natsu…" she whispers and her voice almost breaks and that's when she leans down and her lips meet mine in a passionate but desperate kiss. Her lips moulds to mine and for a second I am completely stiff because I tried fighting this but I couldn't. My heart didn't want to fight this so when I finally give in, I kiss her back, pulling her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer to me like I would lose her if she left.

I suck at her bottom lip as I continue to kiss her, pulling her small body against mine. If I didn't hold her in place she would disappear. I feel the desperation and the need in her kiss as she clings to me for her dear life…"I'm sorry…" she mutters against my lips but I couldn't care less as I continue to hold her on my lap. One minute in each other embrace felt like a second, so when we heard the siren of the police car she pulled from me, her eyes still tearing but she was smiling.

I didn't want to let go of her but soon I help her to her feet and for her to stand up right. She keeps a hand on my shoulder as she looks to the other side of the room and then to me. "I am so sorry…" she whispers again and I shake my head at her. Because I was the one who acted like a dick and who treated her like shit. She instantly takes a step from me then another and then turn to the door as Grey walks in.

"Natsu aren't you finished yet?" Grey asks and at this I chuckles shaking my head.

"No I fucked up but I'll be done in 30 min." at this Grey just snorts and he sits down pulling out his phone.

"Hurry the fuck up, we still have to go drop Lucy at home." Grey states and at this I raise a brow.

"Where is Laxus?" I ask as I look to the blonde who shakes her head and then I look to Grey who looks up.

"He has other commitments in the morning and asked me to drop Lucy." At this I nod my head. "So finish up fast." Grey says and at this I look to Lucy as she looks to the ground not too sure what the fuck happened between the two of us but I felt lighter and she seemed not so teary eyed. She gives me a small smile and I just nod my head.

"You know I say that I am better now, better now, I only say that 'cause you not around," Post Malone – Better now

'Heyyy…' I started the message as I look to my phone and I press send.

'Do you know what heyyy means?' was her reply and I snort shaking my head even though she couldn't see.

'No but enlighten me…' I send back to her.

'The two ingredients to create the best possible friend zoning friendship are communication, and simply being yourself. ... "Hey" means "friends," "heyy" means they think they like you, "heyyy" means "take the hint already," "heyyyy" means "dtf," and "heyyyyy" means they are drunk.' Came her reply and I chuckle to myself as I read that.

'So the correct term is heyyyy' I send back to her and I see she is typing.

'Hmmm… maybe.' I raise a brow. 'What are you doing?' came her second message and I sigh as I look at my text books. Studying sucked. Because the only thing I had on my mind was Lucy. And her lips that night she kissed me. It took me by complete surprise and sometimes I still wonder if Grey saw us before she stepped away.

'Studying, how bout you?' I send back and I see she reads my message and then she is offline and I frown as I look to my phone and soon it lights up and a number is calling that I know all too well.

"Hello?" I answer into the phone placing it on speaker as I place my phone next to me.

"Shouldn't you be studying?" came her voice from the other side of the phone and I smile slightly because I haven't heard her voice in a few days.

"I am." I reply as I look to the text book in front of me. "Just thought I would check in." I say, the thing was, things were still a bit strange between the two of us. After our kiss we didn't talk or message or anything so there was a lot of things that was still unspoken of.

"Checking in on me?" she asks and she seems surprised. "How thoughtful." I raise a brow.

"Who's at work with you?" I ask curious if we had an audience.

"I'm alone. Aries already left, and Cana also left. And basically Hibiki, Zeref, Grey are patrolling with Jellal. And of course you are on study leave with Laxus." She replies as a matter of fact. "Who is at home with you?" she asks. I chuckle a bit.

"I'm alone." I reply as I stare at my cell phone now. "It would have been perfect if we could be alone together." I say and she goes silent on the other side of the phone. I hear her take in a deep breath.

"I know you're still beyond mad at me. And I feel like no matter how hard I try to apologize, I doubt you would just forgive me just like that for what happened…But I am really sorry." She seemed so honest as she spoke. And even thought I have a whirlwind of emotions in me when I'm with this girl I still felt the sincerity of her apology.

"It's okay." I say and I really mean it, it was okay.

"No… it's not and I just need you to listen to me for a bit." I take a deep breath as I stare at my phone. Maybe I did need to listen to her. Maybe it would make sense. Maybe it would help how and what I was feeling.

"Are you going to tell me all of it?" I ask settling into my chair. I hear her sigh.

"Yes." Was her lone reply and I nod my head even though I know she can't see me. "I was married at a young age okay. I don't even know why my father pushed us into it because it wasn't like I was pregnant. And you know I tolerated a lot, the fighting, the money problems and all the other struggles... until he cheated on me. That broke me…." Her voice goes silent for a moment while I listen to her. "He fucked a school girl…. And I found out…. That fucking broke me so bad." There is another moment of silence on her side as I listen and I try to wrap my mind around what she said.

"I kicked him out and that left me in a horrible financial state… I didn't even have food to eat every day. I had to give up on my car and walk to and from work. Like it hit me so hard… I gave up on a happy ending, on a man who would love me and treat me good, I just gave up on everything… and I almost did then I met Chaise…" I listen closely as she speaks.

"When was this?" I find myself asking.

"About 6 months before I started here. He broke down every wall I put up to protect my heart. He did everything and he took care of me and he promised to never leave me. He promised me forever, I thought I had met my forever. I was happy. Then I got here… and this completely changed." She states softly

"What changed?" I ask.

"I met you all, people like Grey and Jellal and Mavis were pushing me into Laxus. I would never have done anything with or to him if everyone just fucked of. I would still have been with Chaise. But no I was forced into this thing and then Laxus was approving of this because he likes me and I have no idea why, I had the facade of a bitch but he still liked me. I never even thought of him in any romantically way. And I think somehow Chaise found out and I lost the best thing that happened to me. And I lost a piece of me when I lost him." At this I sit back and close my eyes because it was true. When she got here she disclosed so many times she was in a relationship and she was happy and in a way we pushed her. To think about it she played with my advances and playfully pushed me back until that day her heart broke. And that was when she came back from Vegas. Because everything changed when she came back.

"Yes Laxus was approaching me and he was motivated to do so and I didn't want to hurt anyone else because I was already hurt to the bone… people are warning me that he is a good man and I shouldn't fuck up yet they have no idea how fucked up I am. Because my heart is still hoping that Chaise might want me back that he will come steal me and make me happy. But I am pushed into this box of 'Laxus and Lucy'. I have no say or will of my own." She continues and I actually felt bad for her as I finally hear this girl talk and open up.

"Do you feel forced?" I ask and there is a moment of silence

"A bit forced and rushed." Came her reply and I honestly didn't know this and felt bad that she was going through with this.

"How do you feel about me?" I ask and then I hear her take in a deep breath.

"I feel…. Normal and at ease with you. I feel I don't have to pretend with you…." She goes quiet for a moment before continuing. "You are the only person that I can be myself with and who I trust. You were my second go to after Chaise… I sometimes feel the way I felt when I was with Chaise when I am with you." Her reply was a bit of a surprise to me as I continue to stare at my phone.

"I don't make you feel pushed into anything?" I ask.

"No." Was her lone reply.

"Are you mad that people pushed you into the 'Laxus and Lucy box'?" I ask knowing full well I was also at some part apart of that group.

"They thought it best at the time. They thought they did good because they only saw what was on the surface. Some just want their best friend to be happy and in love and I get that but I just feel they didn't consider what was going on with me." At this I sigh because if I was in her situation I would be angry and unhappy yet she spoke calmly to me.

"I am sorry." I find myself saying and I hear her snort.

"You have no need to apologize." She says and I assume she is giving a small smile right now. "I'm just so numb to my surroundings, my hearts numb and that's why I just flow with it without any real commitment. And that's what you needed to understand, I didn't jump into a relationship with Laxus to fuck with you, and like I said before I wanted to continue with our agreement before there was something between me and Laxus." She says and I nod my head because I remember her saying this.

"Now we won't be doing it." I say and I hear her mutter something. "What?" I ask.

"If you're really going to feel terrible for even considering to continue, we can stop. Like I said I don't want this weighing on you, and for you to feel guilty." Came her words and like always she seems to be more caring about how I would feel if this happened.

"What about you? Wouldn't you feel guilty cheating on Laxus?" I ask and I hear a sigh from her side.

"I feel numb Natsu… I don't think that my feelings have evolved to the point where it may lay on my conscience… I know I sound so bad saying this but I can't help how I feel. And please don't judge me for this." She says and I look down not knowing how to reply to that.

"I can't judge you when we sit in the same boat." I say as I see I have received a message from Lisanna. I sit up in my chair and slide over the screen opening the message from my wife, indicating she would be home soon. "I need to get back to studying." I say closing the message.

"I should get home too." She replies from her side. "We okay?" She asks.

"Always." I say as I give a small smile.

"Bye Natsu." She softly says into the phone and I return it with my own farewell.

"Yes Lord, tryna get some new shit, in there, swimwear, going to the pool shit, Come now, come dry your eyes," Lizzo – Good as Hell

"Today we have 12 newly appointed Constables joining us for the next few months." Mavis states as we stood on parade. I look to the side and see all the new and young faces she was talking about. "Constable Jellal." Mavis calls and Jellal braise up and then walk towards our commanding officer.

"Yes Brigadier." He replies saluting her as he stands in front of her.

"You will be in-charge if these members and they will be working with your group Operational." At this Jellal smiles as he continues to look towards Mavis. But my eyes catch the blonde who walks past on the far left. She looked amazing today, and it was my first day back so seeing her just made my day better. As she passes she looks over her shoulder and she looks to our group and smiles.

"Heartfelia!" Mavis calls and at this the blonde stops mid step and turns to our group, she quickly makes her way over to Mavis and stop a few inches away from her. "This is Miss Heartfelia, she is my right hand, and she is in-charge of the operations you work, also all-out admin is done through her." She slightly turns and flashes the whole parade a smile as she nods her head to Mavis. Mavis said a few more things while we were on parade before she disbursed us all.

And firstly all the new constables are excited and giddy as they start greeting everyone and introducing themselves, my eyes remain on the blonde as she turns to speak to Mavis and I half-heartedly meet and greet the new Constables as I keep my eyes trained on the blonde. I watch as Laxus walks over to Lucy and Mavis and he salutes Mavis and they have a small chat before Lucy excuse herself and she turns to me with a smile.

She slowly walks to me and when she gets to me I wrap my arm around her and pull her in for a hug of which she hugs me back. "Hey Natsu." She greets as she pulls back and she looks at me and I know we are completely rude as we ignore the two young Constables that are to our side waiting to introduce themselves.

"Hey Luce, you good?" I ask and she nods her head to me with a smile.

"Natsu get your ass over here we need to teach these guys some firearm safety." We hear Grey yell and at this Lucy chuckles.

"You all better go and look at what Sgt Safety will teach you." Lucy says and she can't stop chuckling at this. That's when I feel an arm around my neck and when I look up its Laxus.

"God this is going to be good, he wants to show them how to put a shot gun on safety." He states and at this I burst out laughing as I look from Laxus to Lucy to the other new people.

"Let's go." I say and I give Lucy a small smile and she nods her head before we walk towards the now growing group. She gives me the sweetest little smile and then nods her head. As we entered the weeks before Christmas it just became busier. I barely got to see Lucy and when I wanted to text het I was always with Laxus. So it was annoying so talking to her or seeing her was minimal.