Lucy sadly went home alone without Natsu have to drive her, believing the excuse of the older having a meeting at his father's, then again, why would Lucy care for Natsu's whereabouts when the Vice Chairman doesn't even care for her also.
Receiving support and showing love and affection to the kids are already enough, Lucy should ask for more.
actually, Lucy wanted to ask one thing. She wanted to ask something which is impossible to get from Natsu. She wanted his love, but Natsu won't give it.
standing in front of the house, Lucy closed her eyes and started to picture out the Sol with a big smile on her face, it also made her smile.
Fuck it, forget about Natsu's love. Lucy is in no position to be in a relationship right now, same with Natsu.
She didn't need any boyfriend of have to be in a relationship to be the happiest person on earth. the kid's happiness is Lucy's happiness.
"I'm home." Lucy said, her voice echoing inside the house.
her smile was then replaced with a frown after remembering; the kid is out with Loke and his boyfriend, she wasn't up for it at first but then Loke's explanation of the kid needing to be out of the house once in a while made Lucy agree to it in the end.
Natsu didn't even take a second and thought twice about it and just let Loke bring the kid. it hurt Lucy at the thought of Natsu not caring for the kid and just want her off like that.
Why did Natsu even bother taking responsibility?
"why did i even fall in love with him?" Lucy mumbled to herself. She didn't know if it was because of the male's gorgeous smile, his tan skin, his attractive features, or his secretive nice personality.
it was in the middle of convincing Natsu that he is the father of the kid and the next thing Lucy knew, she fell in love.
She fell in love with the wrong guy.
scanning her eyes at the living room, Lucy didn't know how quiet it is until the little toddler is not home.
by now, she would be greeted by the kid running around the house and messing with Loke. maybe, Sol trying to hide the remote for Loke not to use. or, in the kitchen finding a lot of dangerous way knowing how to cook and luckily Loke is there to keep an eye on her if ever she does something wrong.
perhaps she could be greeted by Sol drawing some beans and labelling them with random names.
it's quiet and it made Lucy realize, maybe she does need someone.
Someone who will love her, someone who can be with her, and someone who isn't ashamed of their relationship.
that someone obviously can't be Natsu.
"you're home late."
just when Lucy was about to place her laptop down the sofa, a familiar voice was heard inside the kitchen, the teacher quickly sprinted towards the kitchen to check and then saw Natsu cooking for their dinner. "what are you doing here?"
"oh wow," the older scoffed, transferring the food to the bowl and placing it down the table. "this is also my second home. can't i come and stay?"
it was weird. "Sol isn't here."
Lucy probably was too busy with her thought to see Natsu parking his car outside.
"more reasons to stay here." Natsu simply said, taking off the apron he is wearing. "you're alone."
"i'm fine being alone."
It's not like this is the first time, that Sol is being taking out for an adventure.
"no you're not." don't ask Natsu why he is like this, he doesn't know himself, and even though he does have an idea why on earth he is like this, he won't admit it.
instead, he finds other reasons why he is here accompanying Lucy. "a criminal might barge inside the house and hurt you."
that cheesy movie line may or may have not made Lucy's heart skip a beat. Natsu is worried, she had never seen Natsu be so worried about her.
"who's going to take care of the kid if you're gone from this world?" the older continued. "not me."
"oh." for a second there, Lucy thought Natsu did care. but she thought wrong. "i'll give them to Loke then, he's good in taking care of kids."
Loke is an ideal man. he might not look like it as he looks scary at first glance but he actually is a sweetheart.
there will always be times where Lucy regrets rejecting Loke back then. yeah, the babysitter had feelings for her back.
In high school and confessed to her but sadly Lucy rejected him. She wasn't ready yet, but Lucy is thankful that rejecting Loke led them to being friends, being close friends.
"what?" the older's brows twitched hearing that from Lucy. "he's not having the kids. i'm going to hire a new babysitter and let them take care of the kids."
Lucy frowned, going back to the living room to get her stuff. "but Loke is actually a great father even though he and his fiance are in the process of adoption"
"and i'm not a good father?" Natsu leaned by the door frame separating the kitchen and the loving room and eyed the director that's getting her things.
"I never said that." but inside Lucy's head, Natsu really is acting like a bad father, but she appreciates the older for trying, he's going to the largest biggest company to work and still about to take over the highest position, she knows it's hard to take care of kid with his plate already filled.
well, if Natsu didn't just release inside her then this wouldn't have happen.
"you're making it sound like it."
"because," Lucy sighed and turned to face Natsu who's still leaning by the door frame. "what kind of father doesn't want to take care of his kids?"
Natsu's jaw dropped, finding Lucy really dumb because of that. "i'm going to be busy, Lucy. i'll be taking over my father's company and i won't have time to take care of the kids."
"if you loved them so much and then you would find time!" and if Natsu loved her then he wouldn't be so afraid to show it.
the older then froze after hearing Lucy shout. he didn't expect for the her to snap and shout at him like that.
he wasn't scared, he was just surprised. Lucy is patient, she rarely gets mad. although in office she might look like she is 24/7 alert, she's just purposely doing to make the others be afraid and obey her. but deep inside, the LucyㅡNatsu knows is a sweet, loving, caring, and patient human being.
wait what? Natsu shook his head. this wasn't good, he was thinking about Lucy.
now, Lucy felt guilty for shouting at Natsu. "i'm sorry, it's just that office has been stressing me out lately."
it was no lie, it's month end and more deadlines are coming .
"i already ate dinner with the others." Lucy said, pushing the door open to her bedroom.
Natsu rolled his eyes. "i didn't make dinner for you." he wanted Lucy to believe that the food he cooked was only for himself and not to be shared by anyone else.
did Natsu come just to break her heart? if yes then he's doing a very great job.
but Lucy didn't want to show him that she was hurt which is why she gave the older male a smile. "enjoy eating then."
She didn't even see the lie in Natsu's sentence.
Truth be told; after hearing that his father is out again for another business trip and bringing his wife with him, Natsu quickly drove his way to Lucy's house.
He was greeted with no one home, wondering where Lucy is. but then, he took that chance and cook a meal for the younger to hopefully ease the stress he knows Lucy is feeling.
he didn't make the dinner for himself, he made it for Lucy.
"fuck." Natsu groaned and hit his head the moment Lucy went inside the room to do god knows what she is going to do. "you should really control yourself Dragneel."
meanwhile inside the room was Lucy arranging her things quietly. She went to take a quick warm shower, change to a much more comfortable clothes, and spent a short time to check her mails. after doing that, she went to change her shorts to a much more longer jogging pants as she noticed the temperature of the room getting colder.
eyeing down the bed, she sighed. "now i have to share the bed."
even though she feels lonely in times where Natsu is not around, she actually appreciates it when the older is not sleeping beside her.
in that way, she can have the whole bed without having to place a pillow in between the two of them. She can move freely, put her legs anywhere, throw her hands anywhere, and can even snor loudly without having anyone to complain to her.
"sleeping so early?" Natsu's voice made Lucy flinch while she was in the middle of placing a pillow in the middle of the bed.
Natsu isn't usually like this. he doesn't usually feel anything but seeing Lucy place a pillow to separate the bed into two made his chest tighten.
he could feel himself frowning and just feel all weird.
"i'm so tired." that once sentence has so much meaning.
She's tired of everything, but she didn't want to give up so easily.
"Natsu, you should go home." Lucy said, laying down the one side of bed. "your parents might be looking for you. after all, you don't want any trouble."
Natsu decided to just disregard the dinner he made and also sleep as he was tired. sleep with an empty stomach. "they are not home."
"then you should enjoy having the house all to yourself."
"you're making me leave." it was obvious that Lucy wanted him out of her house. "don't you want me here?"
oh, Lucy loved his presence.
Honestly, Lucy would want to have his presence here everyday. She wants someone to greet her everytime she comes home looking all stressed and not having the kid around.
She wants someone to cook food for her when she feels tired to do so. and she just wants some company. but sadly, Natsu came at a wrong time.
"I don't want any trouble."
Natsu sighed, facing the pillow that's separating the two of them. "there won't be any trouble if they won't find out."
Lucy did the same and faced the pillow. She badly wants to throw it away and just see Natsu's face and cuddle with him without having any pillow going in their way, but the reality Lucy lives in, Natsu didn't want to cuddle with her and would rather love a pillow separating the two of them.
She didn't like this at all.
"Natsu," Lucy speaks up after a few moment of silence. "you're just here for the kid, right?"
Natsu knew the answer to that but he was hesitating for it to slip from his tongue. "yeah."
The younger frowned as she closed her eyes. hoping that it will hold back the tears that's about to fall down from her eyes. "then would it be"
Natsu is here for Sol, not for her.
"would it be fine if i find someone to fall in love with?"
Natsu could hear Lucy fighting her urge to cry, her voice was cracking.
In this state, Natsu usually not care but surprisingly he was worried. how much he wanted to hug Lucy and just hush her down. but he held himself back to do so. "why are you asking me?"
deep inside, Natsu didn't want that to happen.
"find someone else, i don't care." he cares, he honestly does. he just won't admit, still scared at the fact that his family can do anything to him if they find out anything about this. "i'm just here to take responsibility for the kids anyways, i'm not here to be your lover."
Lucy covered her face, biting her lower lip to silence her cries. it went like that for a good ten minutes and Natsu could hear the sobs even though Lucy was doing a great job lowering the volume of her cries.
moments later, those cries were replaced with snors and Natsu then carried the pillow in between them and saw that Lucy was already sleeping so peacefully.
her swollen lips, dry tears on her cheeks and tears on her eyelashes, and her red nose makes it obvious that she was crying.
"you're not really finding someone to love, are you?"
ㅡ
I swear Nari needs to make us hate him less.
