A/N: I apologize for my absence. It honestly took me months to make this chapter how I wanted it. I ran through my outline over and over again and kept changing it. Then I kept going back and forth and made about fifty different drafts of this chapter. But here I am finally with the finished product. My apologies again. Hope you guys enjoy this update!
Lucy's POV
"Lucy, what are you doing here?" Natsu asked as I stomped into his office. I ignored his comment and walked towards him, stopping mere millimeters from her. I gazed up into his eyes, taking in how attractive he was for a moment. Before he could speak again, I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him against me, pressing my lips against his fiercely. It only took mere seconds for Natsu to react as he wrapped his arms around my waist, returning my kiss with equal ferocity and passion. I was in a daze. All I wanted was Natsu's warm lips to never leave mine. I gasped slightly as his tongue wormed its way between my lips and began swirling around my own.
I was so in the moment that I barely noticed when Natsu abruptly pulled away. I looked up at him in confusion.
"I love you, Lucy," Natsu said before pressing his lips back on mine.
My eyes flashed open as I found myself in my room, sunlight beginning to trickle in from the morning sunrise. I sat there in a trance for a minute when I realized it had all been a dream. I had another dream about Natsu! But this time, it had been more romantic and less sexual. Why was I dreaming about Natsu again? My mind answered my question as I immediately thought about when Natsu had kissed me last week. Was that the reason? Why didn't I stop him? I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it, because even though I hate to admit it, Natsu could kiss. But I don't have any feelings for him. I don't get weak kneed around him, I don't think about him constantly, I haven't shown any signs of having feelings for him. And besides, I had just met the guy about a month or so ago. Perhaps my brain was just trying to give me something easier to think about amidst all the chaos in my life. Speaking of chaos, I quickly checked my phone and immediately tears began welling in my eyes. Today was my father's funeral. The heavy weight that had been with me for the past week since his death had found its way back in to my chest. I turned as my phone began to ring and I saw that it was Levy.
"Hello?" I answered the call, wiping the tears from my face.
"Hey Lucy, I was just going to see if you still wanted me to come with you to the funeral today?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot I asked you to come. Yeah, go ahead and head over and we can start getting ready," I sniffled a bit.
"Sounds good,"
"See you soon," I replied as I hung up the phone. I decided to go take a shower before Levy showed up. Stepping into the bathroom, I stripped my clothes off and started the hot water. I smiled slightly as the hot water cascaded down my skin. I just stood there, my hand resting against the wall of the shower. I felt relieved as the steam was clearing my sinuses a bit, which had become pretty inflamed after the bouts of crying this week. My headache remained though, both from stress and the fact that my mind was so jumbled. My father had died, and now my mind was trying to convince me that I had some sort of feelings for Natsu, which I knew that I didn't. But all of this had made this week that much harder. I had taken the week off work, and had asked Natsu the same. He had agreed, and had even offered to stay with me but I had refused. In truth, I just wanted to be alone. I knew it wasn't healthy to wallow in sadness alone, but I didn't care. I had just lain in bed the last week, doing nothing but listen to music and thinking about my father. I just wanted to hear his voice again, to listen to him call me 'princess' like he did and ask me about my day. I know everyone loses their parents at some point in time, I just didn't think I would lose both of mine in my mid-twenties. Knowing I couldn't sulk in here for too long as Levy was coming, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. I quickly grabbed a towel and dried myself off. Walking to the closet, I found the black dress I had gotten for the funeral. I sighed as I slid the dress on, brushing the last droplets of water off my hands and legs.
"Come in!" I shouted when I heard the knock at the door. I looked around my closet for my black heels and I out to the bedroom just as Levy walked in.
"Hey," Levy said as she walked over and hugged me. I smiled slightly as I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face into her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I wish this wasn't happening to you," Levy spoke softly.
"Me too," I sniffled in to her shoulder. After a few moments, we released each other.
"Just let me finish getting ready and then we can head to Magnolia," I said. Levy nodded as she took a seat on my bed. I walked back to the bathroom and grabbed my hair brush, running the brush through my gold locks until everything was straight again.
"Your hair is just as beautiful as your mother's,"
I shook with sobs as I heard my father's voice in my head. When I was little girl, he would watch me brush my hair sometimes, telling me that my hair was a beautiful as mother's. Sighing, I grabbed my eyeliner and mascara, which luckily were both waterproof. I knew I would be crying heavily at the funeral, and I didn't want to look more disheveled than I already did. Once I was done with my eyes, I put on a light shade of red lipstick. I sighed as I reached over to grab a silver locket hanging on the hook next to the sink. It was my mother's locket, the last thing she had given me before she died. I had long since stopped wearing it daily, but I knew that I would need her close today. Looking in the mirror, I hardly recognized myself. I felt like a fake, porcelain doll. All shiny on the outside, but hollow on the inside; even though it had only been a week, I had gotten used to seeing the broken woman in the mirror.
"Before we go, I need to stop at the warehouse and tell Natsu I'm going out of town. He's been expecting me back any day now," I said as I walked back into the bedroom. Levy nodded as she grabbed her purse and followed me out the door. We took her car as I didn't feel like driving. I really just wanted to go back to sleep and not deal with today. But I needed to be strong, if not for myself, than for my father. And the struggle was definitely real. After a few minutes, we arrived at the warehouse. I walked inside, rolling my eyes as a few of the guys whistled at me, saying I looked sexy and other stuff in the dress. I stopped when I got to Natsu's room, hesitating to knock as I began thinking of the dream I had this morning. I shook my head; I didn't have the time to bat this around again. I knocked on the door a few times. Eventually the door opened, revealing Natsu, dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and a collared red shirt. I blushed slightly as he eyed me up and down for a moment.
"Whoa. You look beautiful," Natsu said, smiling softly. I felt a brief pause, as the weight in my chest just got a bit lighter. What was going on?
"Thanks. May I come in?" I asked. Natsu nodded as he stepped aside for me to enter.
"How have you been?" Natsu asked, taking a seat next to me on the couch. I chuckled slightly.
"Horrible. I've done nothing but lay in bed and push everyone away for the past week," I sighed, putting my head in my hands.
"I'm sorry. I know all of this isn't easy. But you can always talk to me, ya' know? We are friends, right?" Natsu stated.
"Yeah, and thank you. But I actually came to tell you that I am headed to the funeral in Magnolia, so I will need just one more day to myself. Sorry I haven't been much help around here this week," I said. I saw Natsu shake his head out of the corner my eye.
"Don't worry, take all the time you need," Natsu said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw a small smile on his face. Our eyes locked, and I was again reminded of my dream earlier. Why did this keep happening? My eyes trailed across his lips for a moment, and I felt even more confused.
"I need to get going. I'll call you when I get back in to town," I said, quickly pulling my gaze from his. I rushed out of the room, hearing Natsu tell me goodbye as I hurried away. I needed to get out of there. The air was suffocating, and the tension I was feeling was driving me insane. I needed to talk to Levy about this on the ride up to Magnolia.
"Let's go," I said as I got in the car. Levy nodded as I threw on my seatbelt and we started driving down the alley back to the main room. We drove in silence for a few minutes before I turned to Levy, desperately needing to talk to her.
"Can I talk to you about something?" I asked, staring out at the clouds in the distance.
"Is it about Natsu?" My eyes widened as Levy spoke.
"How did you know?" I asked. Levy chuckled a bit.
"I saw how fast you hurried out of there, and the look on your face," Levy responded, keeping her eyes on the road.
"You know me too well," I chuckled slightly.
"So what is going on?" Levy asked. I sighed as I thought about everything for a moment.
"Well, the night my father died, I was a mess. I asked Natsu to lay with me, and in the heat of the moment, he kissed me… and I didn't stop him. And the worst part is, I kind of liked it," I said. Levy's eyes immediately widened.
"You guys kissed?!" Levy looked at me bewilderingly.
"Yes, and then last night, I had dream where I showed up at his office and kissed him again, and then he told me he loved me," Levy's eyes got even wider, and I was worried they were going to pop out of her head.
"WHAT?!" Levy asked, completely shocked at this point.
"I just don't know what to do. Despite all this, I haven't shown any signs of liking him, and I don't feel anything besides friendship for him. Yet, all of this keeps happening," I groaned.
"Are you sure you just aren't denying it? I wouldn't necessarily approve of a relationship with a guy as bad as Natsu, but if you think you might like him, then don't you owe it to yourself to be happy?" Levy asked. I sat there, thinking about it for a moment.
"But I don't like him like that. Also, we could never be together; I am a cop and he is a criminal. Getting involved with him could not only jeopardize my career but it could even jeopardize us because we come from different worlds," I said, crossing my arms.
"Or are you just making excuses because you're scared. No offense Lucy, but relationships have never been your strong suit. You've only had two boyfriends in your life, and every time you start liking a guy, you start talking your way out of it. You deserve love, and if you think you like Natsu, then you should tell him," I stayed silent as Levy talked. She had a point. I've only had two relationships in my life, and the few crushes I did have, I had come up with several excuses to not go through with it. Was Levy right though? Was I starting to develop feelings for Natsu and I was just too stubborn to admit it?
"But what if I decide I like him and then he doesn't like me back? Or worse, what if we were to get together and he found out I was cop? What would happen then?" I asked, again thinking of all the ways it could blow up in my face.
"I'll admit that your situation is more complicated than most people's, but my point still stands. Wouldn't you have rather taken a chance and fail than to never have tried at all?" Levy asked. I sighed as I turned back to the window.
"But I don't even know how I feel about him," I said, looking at the clouds again.
"Then think on it and figure it out," Levy replied. I nodded as I knew she was right. I needed to sort all of this out, as my brain didn't need the extra stress. My eyes began to close and I ended up sleeping the rest of the way to Magnolia.
We eventually pulled up the funeral, and my eyes fluttered open as the car came to a halt. My eyes trailed over to the crowd of people up ahead and I already felt like hiding. I was in no mood to have people give me their pity looks and hug me constantly.
"Are you ready?" I turned as Levy spoke.
"Not really, but who is ever really ready for these things?" I replied before getting out of the car. We walked over to where everyone was gathered, and I could already some extended family there and some of my father's old friends. As I had predicted, plenty of people came up to me and gave me the looks and the hugs. I had returned the kindness, but I could only focus on the coffin that lay at the front, and the photos showing my father's life. The one that affected me the most was the one of him and my mother together, and a baby me between them. I glanced back and forth from my mother's face to my father's, and I felt the heavy weight returning to my chest. I clutched the locket in my hand as I took my seat next to Levy, waiting for it to start. Eventually, one of dad's pastor friends came to front and began to speak.
"Thank you all for coming together today to celebrate the life of Jude Heartfilia, a wonderful man who was taken from this earth too soon. As we sit here today, let us reflect on what Jude Heartfilia was to us. To some of us, he was family, and to others, a friend. Let the memory of Jude carry on in all of us, as we release his spirit to God, our lord and protector, and may he find a place among the stars where a man of his kindness truly belongs. Now, I would like to welcome his daughter, Lucy Heartfilia, to come share her words," The pastor smiled at me as he finished. I nodded as I stood and made my way to front, feeling a lump form in my throat as I turned to the crowd.
"Thank you all for coming today to mourn the loss of my father with me," My voice began to shake as I already felt tears welling in my eyes.
"My father was truly a great man, and I cannot even begin to comprehend the fact that he was gone. As most of you may remember, my mother passed away when I was young. Even though my father took her death hard, he still loved me and raised me in her absence and I can never thank him enough for being strong enough to lead me into my adult life. He was strong, wonderful and the best father that I could ever ask for. We had our falling outs, but at the end of the day, I knew he would always be there for me," My hands fumbled up to the locket again as the tears were freshly down my face now.
"My mother gave me this locket before she died, telling me about how my father had won it for her from a local fair on their first date. She gave it to me so I could always have piece of her with me, but now, I can think of someone who needs her love even more," I turned to look back at my father's body lying in the coffin. Unhooking the locket, I slowly walked over to my father's body and clasped the locket around his neck.
"I love you, Dad," I whispered, before turning back to the crowd.
"There are so many things I wish I could say, but in truth I am at a loss for words. I just hope my father found my mother, and that he finally is at peace. Thank you everyone truly for being a part of his life," I smiled softy as I walked back to my seat. Everyone clapped for a few seconds. The funeral went on as more family members gave their own speeches, and a few even sang some songs.
Eventually, the funeral came to a close and it was time to lower his body into the grave. I stood by the edge as his coffin was lowered into the ground, clutching Levy's hand in mine. I stood there for what felt like eternity, ignoring everyone as they wished me well and would attempt to hug me.
"Are you ready to go?" Levy asked after minutes of silence.
"Just give me a little longer," I said softly, staring at my father's tombstone.
"Of course, I'll be at the car whenever you're ready," Levy said before walking away. I stood there in silence before falling to my knees in front of his grave, tears streaming down my face.
"I'm so sorry, Dad. I miss you so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't a better daughter, that I didn't spend more time with you in your final years. I hope you can forgive me," I cried out as I rested my head against his tombstone. I sat there, crying in silence as I kept my head rested against the tombstone. I then heard the sound of leaves crunching behind me. I assumed it was Levy coming to check on me.
"Sorry Levy, I'm almost done," I sniffled out, wiping some tears from my face. I was confused when no one responded. I stood up and turned around, surprised by who was standing behind me. I was met with Natsu, dressed now in a tight black suit, standing a few feet from me.
"N-Natsu? What are you doing here?" I asked. I couldn't lie though that I was relieved to see him. Levy was great company, but the entire time, I had wished Natsu had been here to talk to me also. Something about having him around was just really comforting.
"You rushed out of the warehouse so fast, I was worried. And I figured you could use a friend," Natsu said, opening his arms. I couldn't stop myself as I immediately ran in to his arms, burying my face into his chest.
"He's gone, Natsu. He's really gone now," I whimpered out, tears falling down my face onto his suit jacket.
"I know," Natsu whispered as he rested his chin on my head. I stood crying in his arms, breathing in his warm scent. The more he held me, the more the weight from my chest lifted. Maybe Levy was right, maybe I just need to talk to him. I know this wasn't the ideal setting, but what the hell? This week has been chaotic anyway.
"Natsu, there is actually something I need to talk to you about," I said, looking up at him.
"Actually, I need to tell you something first. I'm not sure this is the right time for it, but we've been growing closer and I don't want there to be any secrets between us," Natsu said. I stood there in silence. Was Natsu going to tell me he possibly like me too?
"I know that your name isn't really Layla," My breath hitched in my throat as he spoke. Had he heard them say my real name at the funeral?
"I-," I started to speak but was cut off as Natsu shook his head.
"And I know that you're a cop,"
A/N: Well there it is! I hope this chapter was worth the wait! I promise not to take so long with the next update!
