CHAPTER 2 - NEW BEGINNINGS

"I wish I did Bill because I'm very worried about her. I dropped by last week and gave her Jack's letter, but she didn't want me to stay so I wonder if she has read it. Do you think I should go by tomorrow and see?" she asked.

"No, it's probably best just to give her a little more time and let her come to you. I know how hard they are to write so I can only imagine what it's like to be on the receiving end. Has she mentioned when she is planning on returning to teaching again?" Abigail just shook her head sadly.

"Oh, I received a telegram from Headquarters today and they are giving Sargent to Elizabeth. He will arrive sometime within the next week or so." At Abigail's questioning glance he went on to explain. "They said he is very skittish and while he will accept being saddled no one is able to ride him. He won't eat or drink much either, so the Fort Clay veterinarian states he isn't fit for duty any longer and recommended retirement. So, Headquarters officially retired him from service and are processing his release. It happens most of the time when the horse sees their partner killed. But then Mounties get very attached to their horses too. I don't know what I would do if something happened to Hero. Horses and Mounties have a very special bond with each other." he said sadly. "If it's too painful for Elizabeth then I'll get with Charlotte or keep him myself. But maybe Sargent and Elizabeth can help bring comfort to each other. Jack taught her to ride on Sargent, she had also ridden him on other occasions. They both associate Jack with each other and have a bond as well."

A week later Abigail was in the café washing up the left-over dishes when suddenly the door opened, and Elizabeth ran in sobbing. She had declared that she wasn't sure she could stay in Hope Valley. Though Abigail's heart nearly stopped at her words she knew where Elizabeth was coming from. That morning she was supposed to relieve Rosemary and resume teaching. But as soon as she saw the school Jack had built, she couldn't do it. After Abigail calmed her down and got her settled at home again, she knew she had to do something. 'But what could she do to help Elizabeth move through her grief?' Abigail had never seen someone who grieved so hard and so deeply heart broken. She was like an empty shell that would break into millions of pieces at the slightest touch. Rosemary was accurate in her assessment of the situation. Elizabeth was simply going through the motions and seemed like a shadow. She was really worried about her and thought about calling her parents. But she didn't want to chance of breaking Elizabeth's trust. When the forty-seven men lost their lives, their widows shed tears, but were determined to keep going. As she reflected on those days again, she remembered how the widows pulled together drawing strength from each other. Once the mine shut down a lot of the families including many of the widows eventually moved away, Now there were only a few of them left from Coal Valley. Suddenly she had an idea of what she thought Elizabeth needed most and quickly set off to arrange it. When Elizabeth came to the cafe later at Abigail's invitation, she was surprised to see Molly, Florence and Clara sitting in Abigail's private quarters.

"Elizabeth why don't you come have a seat. I gathered these ladies because I thought it would help since we know what you are going through. I thought maybe if we shared how we each coped during the early days."

Turning her attention back to the women she asked them to share their strategy for coping. At first Elizabeth was nervous about discussing anything but as the women shared, she began to feel comfortable and loved. However as well-meaning as they were she felt that they really couldn't understand. Though they had lost husbands and were widows they at least had more than 2 weeks of marriage. While Abigail's story really touched her heart, it was Clara that finally broke through the numbness and walls she had begun to build up. When Clara spoke up and said she felt cheated Elizabeth suddenly looked up. She remembered that there was someone who really did know. Finally, thanks to Clara she was able to identify and express how she felt in words. She didn't feel as alone as she had been.

Elizabeth said "That's how I feel too. I feel cheated! We were supposed to have a life together and grow old together. Instead, he leaves on our honeymoon and does not come back. I waited so long for us to be married only to be widowed shortly after the wedding. It is crazy that he survived a year in the Northern Territory in mortal danger but then dies on a training mission. All I have left of him is a few pictures, some personal effects and land I'm not even sure I can afford to keep."

By this time tears began to run down all the ladies faces. After a bit when everyone had managed to recollect themself, Abigail said, "why don't we all have some tea before you go home?" She knew that Elizabeth was getting ready to head back home and since it was Friday, she would not come out again until Monday. She also wanted to give Elizabeth time to speak with Clara individually if she desired. She also wanted to ensure that Elizabeth at least had a little something to eat. Elizabeth left Abigail's an hour later and headed home. As she was passed by the Mountie office, she heard Bill call her name.

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" when she looked up, she saw a Mountie talking with Bill. Then she saw Sargent who was showing signs of distress that was so unlike him. Normally he had a very laid-back disposition. She saw Bill was all alone now as she crossed the street to the jail. As she approached Bill began explaining to her that Sargent was hers now and why. He watched Elizabeth begin soothing him by running her hands through his mane and hugging him. Sargent began to calm and quiet down as he smelled her scent. She was drawing comfort from the horse as she held on to him. Bill was so relieved and knew that they would be good for each other. "Would you like to go for a ride?" When Elizabeth declined and stepped away, he told her he would get him settled in the livery.

Rosemary came by out of concern for Opal. "Opal has been really quiet and doesn't want to do anything. I really think you need to speak with her. I have an idea how we could do it without you coming to the school or seeing all the children."After she explained her idea Elizabeth agreed readily. Once she had spoken with Opal Elizabeth began to feel a little better herself. She stopped off to see Sargent and learned he was eating and drinking better.

"You miss him too don't you boy? He would be glad to know your back here with me where you belong." She crooned to the horse. Having Sargent made her feel better because he was a living breathing piece of Jack. Obviously, he found comfort in her too because she was a reminder of Jack. As she entered her home, Elizabeth saw Jack's letter sitting on the table where she placed it the day Abigail brought it. 'I need to just read it and get it over with. Maybe once I have, I can get some closure and peace afterwards' she told herself. So, gathering up her courage and the letter she headed back to the livery. It was time for her and Sargent to begin the steps of moving on and healing. She also knew the perfect place to begin that step.

As she approached his stall she called out to Sargent "hey boy how about we go for a ride today. Would you like that?" Grabbing his saddle and blanket she got him ready and then mounted. She could tell he was happy to be going out for a ride. "I know the perfect place for us. I have one thing to do but there's fresh soft grass for you to munch on. Then we will go for a nice run and begin to move on like he would want us to." She said as she gave him a pat. "Let's go Sargent, come on Boy" Then with a touch to his side they took off heading towards Jack's land. Bill was coming down towards the livery when he spotted her on Sargent. He smiled and was glad that he was right about the two of them together. He had been checking on the horse every day. He was relieved when he was told the horse had begun eating and drinking more. That he was still skittish at times except whenever Elizabeth was around. 'Well, maybe things are about to turn around finally at least I hope so' he said to himself and then offered up a quick prayer.

Elizabeth sat on their log for a while thinking about the contents of the letter. She was glad that she had opened it when she did. Though it was sad in some parts most of it was touching and comforted her. It made her realize that it was time to move on and get back to living her life. She stood up with a sigh and placing the letter in her pocket then mounted Sargent.

"Ok boy, let's go for a run!". It was all he needed to hear before he spraing into a gallop across the open meadow. After a good long run she brought him back to the stable. For the first time in a while, she felt alive and more like herself. She was ready to resume teaching and get back to normal whatever that would look like. She went to see Abigail and tell her the good news. Hopefully Elizabeth thought I can catch Rosemary too. As luck would have it, she found Abigail, Rosemary, Lee and Bill having dinner.

"Elizabeth! Come sit down and have some dinner with us." Rosemary said.

"I would love to, and I also have some good news to share. Rosemary as of right now I am relieving you as teacher. I want to thank you so much for teaching them over the past 2 months." Everyone at the table were astonished at the change in her. Gone was that fragile woman they had seen since Jack passed. But the one that just came through the door was a happy one that had a determination to live again. "Well you cetainly won't get any argument from me Elizabeth but are you sure you're ready?" she responded.

"Oh yes I am definitely sure. So, what's for dinner Abigail I'm starving."

"The stew and biscuits are in on the stove so help yourself Elizabeth. We just finished dinner. Can you bring the tea pot back in when you come too?"

After Elizabeth left to go get her food, the others all looked at each other in amazement. They all let out sighs of relief because they felt like she had turned a corner and finally was on her way to healing.

"I stopped by the livery to clean Hero's stall, and I got a look at Sargent. He is like a different horse and not only eats but loves when Elizabeth comes by. He didn't even hesitate when Elizabeth mounted him. I don't think she even gave a thought to him possibly throwing her. I'm so glad I was right about Elizabeth and Sargent."

"What about me and Sargent?" Elizabeth asked. She had come back to the table and surprised the others.

"Oh, I was telling them how much he had improved since he arrived in Hope Valley. I figured that the two of you could help each other heal. A Mountie and his horse have a special close bond and always watch out for each other."

"Oh yes, it helped that we had each other, and I think we have turned a corner together. We went for a good run today up to Jack's land so I could read the letter Abigail brought me."

Elizabeth eyes softened and began to tear up some, but she had that beautiful smile on her face. Rosemary put an arm around her a gave her a side hug and spoke. "Oh Elizabeth, I'm so proud of you for picking yourself back up. I knew it was just a matter of time before you did. Your stronger than you think you are."

"Thank you, Rosemary, I love you very much my dear friend." she responded with a laugh. "Oh, Elizabeth, I love you too!" as she gave her another hug. Elizabeth stood and hugged Bill before and preparing to walk home with Lee and Rosemary. Abigail asked her to come to the café tomorrow after school so they could talk about her first day back. Elizabeth agreed and then headed out into the night with her friends. Lee had offered an arm to each woman and they headed back to their rowhouses.

"Do you want me to walk with you to school tomorrow Elizabeth? I can stay for a while too if you like."

"I appreciate it Rosemary, I really do, but I think I'm ready and you being there may hold me back by being a crutch."

"Well, you know where I am if you need a break."

"I sure do and appreciate you and Lee so very much. I'm so glad that you guys live just next door. By the way if you ever move, you'll have to include a room for me or a guest house out back." Elizabeth joked.

They all laughed as they continued walking. Then Lee said, "I am such a lucky man to have two beautiful women on my arm tonight."

Elizabeth smiled and kissed him on the cheek, and said "well we are lucky to have handsome charming man walk us home."

Rosemary just said "Lee Coulter you are such a flirt. It's why I love you so very much." Giving him a kiss on the other cheek.

As they arrived at the rowhouses Lee turned to Elizabeth and said "We both love you very much and if you ever need or want anything just say the word. Your family and we will always be there for you. As for a room in out home you will always have a place with us."

"Thank you Lee and you both know the feeling is mutual. I want to thank you guys for being there for me." Then giving them both a hug she went in and prepared to go to bed.

The next day Elizabeth began her first day at the schooland it went very well. She knew there would still be some rough times but she felt confident she would pull through. As the students began to leave she quickly gathered her things and set off for town. Elizabeth couldn't wait to tell Abigail about her first day back teaching. When she entered the café, she had expected to find her alone. But instead, she saw that Florence, Molly and Clara were there as well. "We have finished your quilt that we worked on. Each of us sewed squares so that you would know how much you are loved here in Hope Valley."

With that said Molly, Florence and Clara stood up to reveal the quilt to her.

"Oh, your all so wonderful and I just love you so much. I don't know how I would cope without you." Elizabeth said. The women each came over to embrace her and then they sat down.

"Why don't we have some tea, and you can tell us about your day." Abigail asked.

"Oh and I made some fresh coffee and some pound cake too." Florence said as she got up to get the coffee pot. But as Florence got closer to Elizabeth, at the smell of coffee she ran outside quickly. Abigail came running after her asking if the smell of coffee made her sick. "Yeah I don't know why but I felt like I was going to throw up." Abigail quickly began putting all the pieces together as Elizabeth said she was ready to go back in.

"I know why the smell of coffee made you sick at your stomach." A huge smile crossed Abigail's face as she informed Elizabeth that she was pregnant. She looked at Abigail in shock as she took it all in remembereing the other symptoms too. 'I am pregnant with our baby, a living, breathing part of Jack and the love we shared' she thought. Elizabeth was so happy she could not contain it. When her and Abigail walked back in the café she saw the othe other ladies were grinning. They had also put the pieces together and were so happy for Elizabeth and her smile.

Suddenly her smile faded as she realized that Jack died not knowing he was going to be a father. Her child would grow up without knowing his father. Luckily for her she had Bill, Lee and even Carson to help fill that role. Someday she would meet a special someone and open her heart again to them. Elizabeth knew that it was what Jack would have wanted. But honestly, she did not see how she could ever open her heart again to another man. She could not put her heart at risk of the pain with which she was still dealing. In fact, she did not believe she would find another love like she had with Jack. Not to mention that she would now have a child to consider. Because of that alone Elizabeth knew one thing was for certain. If she ever did manage to open her heart, he would NOT be a Mountie. She did not resent Jack so much as she was hurt by his choices.

Now she totally understood why Jack initially said, "If the Mounties wanted you to have a wife, they would issue you one." She still did not understand why Jack would ever take an assignment right after he returned from a year in the Northern Territories. She often wondered if he had had a choice. She knew he had turned down missions before so why did he accept Fort Clay? Elizabeth shook herself out of her thoughts and let them turn to her wonderful gift he left her. She hoped and said a prayer over her child. She knew she had to contact her parents and Charlotte and Tom. Hopefully for them it would be a comfort as well as give hope. She was determined to do everything Carson told her so her child would be safe. As she thought about the coming months and Christmas, she became a little overwhelmed. But as she thought of having Abigail and Rosemary with her, she relaxed. She loved them so very much and they have gotten her through so much. Then she would have Bill and Lee to help mentor her child if it was a boy. They would teach him how to be a wonderful citizen as Jack would. Bill especially could instruct her son about his father and help teach him in the tradition of the Mountie code as Jack would have wanted. She smiled when she remembered Bill's expression when she told him she was expecting. He had really taken it hard when he heard of Jack's death. There was a somber look on his face most of the time since the funeral. In fact, he spent most of his time in the jail. It was so sad when she recalled how his face lit up as if expecting Jack to walk in. Then when he realized, Jack was not going to walk back in his smile would fall and his eyes would moisten as if he were fighting back tears. Sometimes he would come for dinner, and they would reminisce about Jack. Even though they were hurting talking about Jack really seemed to be healing for them.