"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
~Dolly Parton
Chapter Eight
On Thursday evening, following a very sad funeral for baby McHone, everyone was sitting in the front parlor. It was then that Christy decided to broach the topic of going to the eye clinic in Lyleton with Neil on the upcoming Saturday.
"That's an interesting way to spend a day off," Ida chided. "Why, most Saturdays you sleep in and do as you please."
"Ida," Alice began in a warning tone, "Miss Huddleston was not brought here to serve the same purpose as any of the rest of us. She is entitled to her days of rest."
Ida snorted.
"Perhaps you would enjoy switching places with Miss Huddleston for a few days, Ida?" Alice suggested. "I assure you, keeping up to seventy children in line and entertained for seven hours a day is not easy work. In fact, I would wager that many days Miss Huddleston would prefer doing fourteen hours of laundry instead. Your days are your own to organize, and although we very much appreciate your efforts each day here at the mission, there is no reason your brother and the schoolteacher should not enjoy a day to themselves every now and again."
"The main reason I was invited to go along," Christy explained, "is that there are two small children needed to be seen by the other doctors that come up from Knoxville and Dr. MacNeill thought I might be able to keep them calm."
"Why can their mother not go? How is that your responsibility?" Ida muttered.
"It is not my responsibility, but I am pleased to help where there is need. That is why I came to Cutter Gap, Ida, was to help people. Plus, the mother has six other small children," Christy answered patiently. "She is needed at home."
"Are these the Jones children from Low Gap?" Alice asked.
"Dr. MacNeill didn't mention the name. One is a seven-year-old boy, the other a five-year-old girl."
"Yes, that sounds about right. It's a large family, but they have a beautiful farm. Their land is situated in such a way to take advantage of the mountains and large flat area for their crops. They are down in a little valley."
"I am looking forward to seeing more of the mountains," Christy said. "There are days I really would love to be able to go to Cataleechee with you, Miss Alice or Big Lick or wherever." Christy chuckled. "I'm glad to finally get to see Low Gap because I hear it spoken of so often."
"Don't they have a teacher in Low Gap? Surely she could escort these children?" Ida asked.
Christy was curious why Ida was being so critical about how she chose to spend her day. Was it because Ida knew Christy would be with Neil? Saturday was the only day Christy really used as time for herself.
"The teacher in Low Gap is a young man," Miss Alice answered. "His wife is due to have their first child any day now. I am certain he wishes to be close should that happen."
Ida's lips puckered into a frown. David had been silent during the entire exchange, focused instead on the book he was reading. Christy was certain he was listening though. He was always listening and lurking. Even though she had been firm in her rejection of his attentions, he still seemed to want to be near her.
She was not entirely certain how to go about announcing that Neil had asked to court her. Miss Alice had known since earlier in the week, but because Ida sought Neil's attention, and David wanted hers, it made it uncomfortable for Christy to bring it up. Did she just let them realize it on their own or did she have to actually say something?
"Has Lundy come back to school?"
"No, Miss Alice," Christy answered. "Have you seen him?"
"I have not. I have watched that boy grow into a sneaky young man, full of spite and the devil. I do not know, of course, what Molly Taylor was like before she married Birdseye, but never did I see a young woman look so worn and old with only one child!"
"Is Birdseye as mean as people think?" Christy asked.
"He stays clear of here," David said. "Doc said once that if we steer clear of him, he will steer clear of us."
"But you haven't, David," Alice interjected. "The sermon on Sunday was a direct assault on him and his livelihood. It would not be unreasonable to expect some sort of retaliation."
"Such as?" David asked.
"I couldn't say," Alice answered. "It would be best if we kept our ears and eyes open for problems."
"Moonshine is the devil's work."
"Why do you say that, David?" Christy asked, genuinely curious. "Drinking alcohol is not a sin in many faiths. I understand as a Quaker you do not support such activities, Miss Alice, but my Presbyterian church certainly does not prevent it, nor does your Lutheran faith, if I recall?"
"It is illegal," Ida chirped.
"There are far worse things here than moonshining," Christy said. "For example, the poverty, lack of sanitation, lack of nutritional food, lack of proper shoes, superstitions that lead to death of babies, and too many children marrying too young." She was getting all worked up for no reason.
"That is quite a list, Christy. Which do you wish to tackle first?" David asked, his voice colored with cynicism.
"I can do nothing alone," Christy answered quietly. "I cannot do all that is needed for certain, I can only offer all that I can do to make improvements in the lives of these mountain people."
"Have you mentioned your… concerns to anyone else?" Alice asked.
"Yes." Christy nodded. "Some of them, anyway."
"To who?" David asked. "I would think you would have said something to us, first?"
"I broached it as a question to Dr. MacNeill," Christy said.
"Which concerns?" David asked.
"Well… most of them, except my concerns about children marrying so young."
"It seems you have been talking with Dr. MacNeill an awful lot." David scowled.
Christy glanced at Alice, who nodded for her to go ahead with the announcement. "David, Dr. MacNeill and I are courting."
"Courting!" Ida sputtered. "How long has that been going on?"
"I am not entirely certain," Christy answered honestly. She thought back to the first time at Neil's cabin. She had been very intrigued by him even back then.
"You are courting, but you don't know how long?" Ida asked with a snort. "Are you certain he is even courting you?"
"Miss Ida, I am sorry if this is painful for you, as I understand you did express an interest in him, but yes, I am quite certain Dr. MacNeill and I are keeping company." Christy answered.
"Well, that explains some things." David closed his book with a decided thud and then stood. "Miss Alice, I invited a friend from home to come for a visit. She will be here at the end of the week, if that is acceptable?"
"Of course, David, your friends are always welcome at the mission."
He nodded. "Good night." He glared at Christy before leaving the room.
"I really thought Dr. MacNeill was interested in me," Ida said wearily. "Did it not seem that way to you, Miss Alice? When I first arrived here, I certainly believed he was attracted to me."
Christy glanced at Alice, curious herself what the answer might be.
"No, Ida, Dr. MacNeill has never shown particular interest toward you." Alice took off her reading glasses and set her needlework aside. "He has been polite, but nothing beyond simple courtesy."
"But, my cooking!"
"Men like to eat, Ida, but food is not love," Miss Alice stated. "I do not mean to be cruel, but surely you can see what is between Dr. MacNeill and Christy is very different than how he behaves toward you."
Christy felt herself flush. If the kiss was any indication of what Neil did feel for her, then yes, his feelings were quite strong.
Ida stood, and without a word, left the room. A door slamming at the back of the house was the only evidence of where she went.
"Thank you for your help, Miss Alice," Christy whispered. "I did not know how to tell them."
Alice shrugged. "You did not need to tell them of your business, but I suppose it needed to be done, or else Ida might hold out hope for Neil's attention, and David might have thought you might eventually change your mind about him."
"You are certain you approve?" Christy asked, hopeful her friend would not be upset.
"Because of Margaret?"
Christy nodded.
Alice stared at her quietly for several minutes before asking, "May I tell you about her?"
"Yes. That is, if you would like to." Christy was so curious and never knew how to bring up the topic to Neil. She could have asked Fairlight, she supposed, but no one knew Margaret better than Neil or Miss Alice.
"I ask because you might like to know more about her. Neil will eventually tell you whatever you wish to know, but, he is so tight lipped about his feelings, I am not certain when he might feel comfortable enough to do so." She laughed. "Perhaps after ten years of marriage he will begin to express his feelings toward you." She chuckled.
Christy flushed. Ten years of marriage! Oh, my. That idea made her heart flutter. This courtship was real, not just a temporary sort of thing, not just an escort for a dance or the theater that she had experienced in the past. Here in Cutter Gao, courting led to marriage. She felt a jolt of excitement shoot through her. Married to Neil! She wanted to squeal.
She was not about to contradict Miss Alice, pleased he had already begun to open up to her. "I would like to hear whatever you think I should know about her."
Miss Alice sighed and folded her hands in her laps. "In a way, it will be a relief to speak of her. There has been no one else in so many years to talk about her with. No one really knew her, even though she lived here for almost three years. I did not even truly know the woman she had become. And, I am almost certain she had changed into someone Neil did not know, either."
Could Alice be as lonely as Neil? It had seemed she was so busy, but was there an empty place inside her, too? Christy cared a great deal for the older woman. She was her mentor and Christian role model. Miss Alice had given her so much support, she wanted to be able to return the favor.
"Margaret died of typhoid complications," Miss Alice began. "There are two times a year typhoid becomes a problem here. In the late spring, about now, when the snow melts and sends more water down the rivers and streams, and then again in the fall when the disease has a chance to grow before the ground freezes. Fall is usually worse. Anyway, they had been married only three years at that time, and before she passed, she delivered a baby prematurely, a little boy. Neil was heartbroken, but I believe more due to the loss of his son than the loss of Margaret."
Christy opened her mouth but Alice held up a hand to stop her.
"I knew that they were not happy," she continued. "I saw that, as soon as I arrived here. I thought the baby might give her something to live for. She hated this place. She hated the people, and in truth, I do not believe she truly loved Neil. I hope she did at one time, but when she died, she was treating him poorly, and with his temper… well, it was a difficult period for me. I wanted to intervene, to counsel, but there was no hope left in either of them."
Christy swallowed the lump in her throat, imagining such a situation. No wonder Neil was hesitant to share his feelings with anyone. Margaret had trampled them. He likely never courted anyone here, Fairlight would have mentioned it. Perhaps during his schooling, he had met others, but it was Margaret he had married with the expectation of love. Christy could see he needed a partner, someone to support him in his work, in his home, perhaps even in his research. Could she overlook all the issues here in Cutter Gap to stay with him and be the woman Margaret couldn't be? She wanted to, but was she just being naïve? Was being away from home so enticing she overlooked the obvious difficulties that could cause division between herself and Neil, things that may have torn Margaret and Neil apart?
"This may be difficult for you to hear, but it will explain what I later must tell you. Margaret was born out of wedlock, Christy." She shifted between looking at her hands and into Christy's eyes. "I was… taken advantage of… by a trusted family friend. Margaret was accepted by my parents because I explained immediately what had happened. I was so naïve about sex, so very young, and had no idea what was happening before it was far too late." She smiled, but there was no joy in it. "I was only fifteen, so when you comment about young children having children, I am able to understand that predicament all too well. Fifteen and with child." She shook her head. "The man was much older, closer to my father's age. Afterwards, I remember trying to understand why he had chosen me. You see, for him it was not an act of love, but of lust. Lust- desire- in a marriage is a blessing, but in my situation, it was a sinful act. I was innocent, but he was not. He was a predator, Christy, preying on the weak. He used his religious zealousness as a cover for his evil mind."
Alice sighed and looked off into the air as if reliving the situation.
"Because of the guilt I carried over her birth, the fact she had no father, I spoiled Margaret, gave her the very best of everything. My parents, much like yours, were well situated and could afford anything for their granddaughter. When she turned sixteen, she began to run wild. She was a very smart child, full of questions and ideas. The cry of her spirit was always to be free from any sort of constraint or rules. She became entrenched in the feminist movement, revolted openly against child labor and even marched in rallies in Philadelphia. The fact she was a 'bastard child' made her fight for women's rights all the more personal to her."
Miss Alice took Christy's hand. "It was about that time she met Neil. In her mind, he was perfect. She was rebelling against all I held dear- especially my Quaker Society. She knew he came from a wild place, and I do not know if she even cared where. She just felt the need to flee. Science was Neil's God, and as a non-believer herself, it seemed to be a perfect fit. She was impetuous and impulsive, a bit like you," Alice smiled gently. "Instead of running toward things to try to make them better, as you do, she ran away from anything that restrained her. She convinced Neil to marry her. I know for a fact he was not ready to marry, but he was ready to come back here, the mountains were calling to him, they are a part of him, you know? I believe I feel that pull and somedays- your good days- I see it in your eyes, too."
"Yes," Christy agreed. "This is a very special place to me. If I only believed I was truly making a difference, a lasting difference, I would not hesitate staying, but as it is… I close my eyes at night and just see Wilmer behind that cage."
Alice nodded. "I am certain that was a difficult scene to witness. I know it was for me the first time, and that was as a woman of advanced years who had seen much of life. Christy, what would you have Swannie do differently?"
Christy shook her head sadly. "I asked Dr. MacNeill about specialized hospitals. We talked about the boy for quite some time and by the end of the conversation we had both agreed neither of us could put a child in an asylum." Christy smiled wanly. "I… I worry more about the other O'Teale children. Becky and Mountie especially."
"They have grown up with their brother." Miss Alice answered matter-of-factly. "They know nothing different."
Christy chuckled. "Did you listen to my conversation with Dr. MacNeill? He said the exact same thing."
"It's true, Christy. These children have seen plenty in their lifetimes. Death, birth, the circle of life." Alice stared at her. "Are you ready to hear more about my daughter?"
Christy nodded. "I'm sorry to have interrupted."
Alice laughed. "We have all become accustomed to your mind traveling in multiple directions at once. I mean that as a compliment, because you are always thinking of ways to improve things, change things—and people- for the better. Now then, this is the part that will likely injure your heart, knowing how deeply you already care for Neil." She held up her hand, stalling Christy's voice. "And, no, do not bother to argue with me about your feelings for him. Your eyes tell the story. He walks in a room and your whole face lights up, and I feel an energy from both of you, calling out to each other." She shook her head. "In truth, it is the most incredible thing to see. I have never seen two people better suited to each other."
"Even me and David?"
"Just because he is a preacher and you are a teacher?" Alice shook her head. "He wants to kiss you because you are a beautiful young woman. He treats you like his baseball bat and ball- fun to play with but not worth talking to, getting to know and understand."
Christy smiled. "Yes, I do believe you see it as I do."
Alice sighed. "He is still a young boy. Eventually he will find someone to play that role, but you, Christy Huddleston, have a greater purpose in life."
"I believe I do," Christy answered. "I pray that the Lord continues to unfold it for me."
"He will, child. Think how far you have already come. I believe, as I reflect on the union, that Margaret felt so unworthy and inferior because of her birth, that she chose someone who she viewed as even more inferior than she was. You will struggle to understand this because of the respect you have for Neil. He was born desperately poor, in a backwoods mountain cabin. A hillbilly, she called him to all her friends, but never to his face until she came here, and by then it was too late. She could not give him the support he anticipated or expected from the wife of a doctor. She would yell and whine and complain whenever he was called out to help someone. How could he make her happy and still do his job? The answer was simply that he could not."
"When she became pregnant, I saw it as a blessing. I saw it as an opportunity for her to care for someone other than herself, to have something to occupy her time. She had no interest in the people of the Cove. To her, everyone here was ignorant and unworthy of her attention. Even sweet Fairlight who you have come to cherish, she treated poorly. It hurt Neil deeply to see how Margaret treated the mountain people. You will hear him often call them 'his people' because they are. This is where he comes from, he is as much a part of this mountain culture as Birdseye Taylor and the moonshiners. Margaret tried desperately to get Neil to leave. He has had many job offers over the course of years. You have seen his work and understand his skill, but this is where he believes he belongs."
Christy thought about his dream to go to Vienna. She would not mention this to Alice as she was uncertain if the other woman knew of it yet, or not. Perhaps he had other dreams he had yet to share with anyone. She questioned again if she could live here, or would she come to hate it as much as Margaret must have?
"His patience, his serenity in all situations amazes me. I noticed from Bob Allen's surgery and then Little Burl's, just how skilled of a surgeon he is," Christy said.
"He is a very, very good doctor. He could not be the husband Margaret needed, though. He could not dance attendance to her every whim. He could not bring the city lights and excitements here. Margaret gave up living long before she died. In full honesty, I expected her to leave here, just walk away from her marriage, but then she was pregnant and knew she could not. The typhoid weakened her body, but her soul… well, she was already so beaten down and depressed nothing could have saved her or the child."
"How early was the baby?" Christy whispered. She didn't realize she was crying until tears were sliding down her face.
"I believe he was about three months early. He was tiny but developing perfectly in every way." Alice sighed. "I had my faith to turn to for comfort. Neil turned completely away from God then."
"That must have been very painful for both of you, yet you do not seem particularly close, Miss Alice."
"We aren't, and it is mostly my fault. You see, I blamed him for stealing Margaret from me, when, in fact, it was I that pushed her into rebellion. Had I accepted her views and softened my own, perhaps she never would have run off with Neil, but as it was, she and I were too stubborn to see the need for compromise. Neil has always been respectful toward me, and polite, Christy. As he has accepted my nursing help, we have become friends. You know there are not many people educated as we are here, and for a long time, before Dr. Ferrand started this mission, it was really only Neil and I who had an education. We turned to each other for medical issues, but rarely Margaret."
They sat quietly for several minutes before Christy said. "I was surprised that Neil takes people to Lyleton for this eye clinic. I am pleased he asked me to go along, even if it is to care for the children."
"His eye research is something he holds close to his vest. I'm not certain why he is not more forthcoming about it, as he has made some strides in researching eye diseases."
Fear of failure. The words popped into Christy's head, but she did not say them out loud.
"I have shared all this information with you for two reasons. Margaret's unhappiness here hurt Neil, and I do not want him to have his heart broken again. You and Neil have much in common, yet there are parts of each of you so different that they complement each other. If we were in a city, somewhere you were comfortable, I would not have this concern, but as you have said, you cannot guarantee a return to the mountain after the planting break. Have you changed your mind?"
Christy shook her head. "No, Miss Alice, I still do not know if I can stay here forever, no matter how much I have come to care for Neil."
She nodded. "I will not pressure you for an answer. It is something you must work out for yourself. There is also the matter of God. Neil thinks he is in control of his gifts as a doctor. He will not admit that it is God guiding him. I do not know if he is truly an atheist or rather an agnostic that needs a soft, gentle, guiding hand to remind him of what his parents and grandparents taught him."
Was she referring to her? Probably. Did she have that sort of power to bring a person back to Christ? Probably. She needed to pray that the Lord would help her, to help Neil.
"Thank you for telling me about Margaret. I want you to know that even if I do not decide to stay here, I will always appreciate everything you have done to help me grow, both in my love of God and simple maturity."
When Alice stood, Christy did too, and moved into her out-stretched arms. "Thee are a gift to me, Christy Huddleston."
The hug was warm and loving, and Christy knew that there was nowhere in the world she would rather be.
