"Rejoice in Hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

~Romans 12:12

Chapter Fourteen

By the time Alice arrived on Monday, Christy's patience had been challenged to the point where she was yelling and scolding her students. She knew teaching outside would be challenging, but had not expected the girls to be so distracted. Having John and Rob sit with the younger boys had been a good idea, but the little girls cold not concentrate, either.

David, thankfully, came after lunch break and taught their Bible lesson. Unfortunately, they were so wound up and excited that he, too, found himself raising his voice. At one point, she expected him to simply sit down and quit the lesson all together. Creed was especially rambunctious and not even Rob's threats worked to calm the boy down.

Thankfully, Alice made her dismiss the children early, as she was in no mood to have undisciplined children around, either. The older woman stood for a long time, simply staring at the gutted-out church schoolhouse. Christy knew Miss Alice was as upset as she and David were, perhaps more so, because this mission was under her supervision.

David and Christy stood a little bit behind her, giving her space. When she turned, her face was hard like granite. Her dark eyes were flashing at them, and Christy was not certain who her anger would be directed at.

"I have half a mind to take my gun and shoot Birdseye," Alice said. She turned back toward the building, well where the building had been. "I am a Christian woman. Thus, I must do my best to forgive his heinous actions."

"Miss Alice, I cannot say for certain it was Birdseye," Christy whispered.

"What do you mean, Child?"

"Birdseye overtook Jeb and Dr. MacNeill and I at the Spencer road as we were returning from Lyleton. He forced us all to the Spencers where I spent the night Saturday. Birdseye and a man named Terrance were outside all night, making sure no one left the cabin."

"Terrance? Who is Terrance?" Alice frowned.

Christy shook her head. "I have never seen him before, but Jeb and Dr. MacNeill knew him."

She sighed. "Where was Ruby Mae?"

"She was with Lizette at the Holcolmes. No one was at the mission house."

"Praise the Lord for that blessing," Alice said. "If Birdseye did not oversee it, certainly he knew it was happening."

David nodded. "I'm certain he was involved, but by being at the Spencer's he gave himself an alibi. I think we should still go to the law."

"David, right now, we are even in this battle. You acted foolishly, against my wishes, and this is the result. Had you simply removed the liquor, perhaps closed up the opening under the church school building so they understood it was not an appropriate storage space, they would have done something much less extreme. I do not believe it was your sermon that spurred this action, but rather the destruction of the moonshine. You should have realized its value to them when Lundy attacked Little Burl to keep him away from it."

David hung his head. "I will resign. You were right when you said I do not understand these mountain people. I do not believe I ever will. How can they allow their children to live in deplorable conditions? How can they continue to run illegal stills? Do they not understand morality?"

Alice sighed, her face softening. "You have not been here long, David, but long enough to know that the best way to remain safe here, accepted, is to keep your nose in your own business. Your business is reading the bible, interpreting God's word to them, and helping them stay in God's grace. Occasionally, you will officiate a wedding or a baptism and more often a funeral. That is what you were brought here to do, not disrupt the mountain people's entire lives. I will not accept your resignation. Of course, I have no idea if Dr. Ferrand will allow the building to be rebuilt. If he does not, I imagine the mission, including the school must close."

"Why would he not allow a new building?" Christy asked. She was holding back tears.

"Money," Miss Alice answered simply. "Christy the people here are so poor, they cannot contribute money to the church. We do not even pass a plate at services to prevent anyone feeling embarrassed. Dr. Ferrand only has so much money which must be divided between his thirteen missions. This is a rather tragic misstep by Cutter Gap, and if I were to guess, I would say this mission will be closed."

"What about the children?" Christy asked. She did let her tears begin to fall. "They are thriving, Miss Alice. They have all grown so much in just the time I have been here!"

"Yes, that is very true. You cannot teach outside passed October, and then likely not again until March. If this were a more temperate climate, it could be possible, but not here."

Christy turned away as she caught something move out of the corner of her eye. "Fairlight is here, I am helping her with writing today." Christy walked away from Alice and David. Fairlight waved and climbed up the mission porch steps.

"Howdy, Miss Christy. I reckon them tears is from the building?"

Christy nodded. "Miss Alice expects Ferrand will close the mission. I can't say I blame him. What a disaster!"

Christy guided Fairlight into the dining room and had her sit. She pulled out her inkwell and some paper. Christy was giving her a question to answer every time they studied. She expected Fairlight to write a paragraph, and together they would fix spelling. She was teaching her about punctuation as they went.

Fairlight took her hand. "I love you. No matter what, you'll have a home here in the cove if you choose to stay and help the children. Dr. Ferrand may not understand what a difference you have made, but we folks certainly do. Now, wipe away them tears and tell me what my topic is for today."

Christy smiled. She had prepared the question during David's Bible class today as he had begun to discuss Easter. "What are four things you like about April?"

"I ain't got much good to say about it," she admitted. "It's wet and busy." She laughed. "I'll come up with somethin'."

Christy smiled at her encouragingly and Fairlight started writing. As Fairlight worked, Christy graded math papers for the next day. Zady and John were both amazing with numbers. John would have started Calculus if he decided to attend school another year, but the Spencers decided seventeen was old enough and he had learned enough. Christy would offer to keep teaching him in the evenings if he wanted her to, and the same with Rob. She would always be happy to read his stories.

She stopped what she was doing and looked away from Zady's paper. How could she do that if the mission closed? Well, that was not so much the question, but how could she teach these children if she decided not to return? She sighed.

"Whatcha frettin' over?" Fairlight asked. She looked at the paper in front of Christy. "Ain't Zady doin' well?"

Christy shook her head. "Zady is doing wonderful. So are John and Clara and Lulu. Oh, and Least 'un would start this fall." Tears formed in her eyes. "Fairlight, I am so scared."

Fairlight frowned at Christy as if she had lost her mind. "Whatcha talkin' about? Scared of what? Birdseye? He won't do nothin' to you."

Christy shook her head with a chuckle. She leaned forward. "I love it here. Then I hate it here. I love the children. I hate the feuds and moonshining. I love Neil…"

"But, you don't know if you can stay?"

Christy nodded and sniffed away her tears.

"You know how he feels about you?"

Christy knew Fairlight meant Neil without saying his name.

"He hasn't said the words, but I'm pretty sure the feelings are mutual."

"I told you when you first told me about these feelings that you gotta be sure, girl. That man don't need anymore heartache!" Fairlight's voice was firm, not angry but Christy knew she was protective of Neil. They had grown up together. Neil was close to all the Allens, except maybe Ault.

"I know." Christy sighed. "Finish your writing." She grinned. "I have to pretend to be a good teacher today."

What would happen if the mission closed? How could she come back? Neil hadn't mentioned marriage, so where would she live? Where would she teach? How could there be a school without the mission? She could teach without a salary, couldn't she? Her father would send money if she needed it, but where would she live? The only women who lived alone were old ladies like Aunt Polly and Granny Barclay. There were a few widow women she had met, but they had children. It wasn't like Christy could maintain a cabin by herself. She sighed again.

"Quit yer frettin'. I can't think straight."

Christy wished it was that easy to quiet her mind. She was looking forward to seeing Neil soon. She could smell the stew on the stove and wondered what Ida was cooking.

"Alright, girl. I'm just giving up," Fairlight said. "You are a mess." Fairlight put down the pen.

"I just thought passed the mission closing. Even if I wanted to come back in April, where would I live? If the mission closes, David and Ida will leave. Alice travels. I can't teach outside, even though I don't need a salary. What then, Fairlight?"

"Where's your Bible, Christy?"

"Upstairs."

"Go fetch it," she commanded her.

Christy listened to her friend and raced upstairs to grab her bible. She went back downstairs and Neil had arrived. He was sitting at the table and looked up with a wide smile when she entered the dining room. Fairlight had gone to fetch him a cup of coffee and handed it to him.

"Any word on Tom yet?" Fairlight asked.

Neil took a sip of coffee and then shook his head. "I went north, thinking he was going over the mountain that way, out of the way, but I didn't see anything."

Christy sat back down. Neil had taken her spot so she sat next to Fairlight.

"How was school today?" he asked.

She shook her head with a wry grin. "Not great. Everyone was so distracted, and I lost my temper, and then Alice came, and David and I let them go early."

"They'll get used to it," Neil said. "It is just a new thing. Give it a few days."

Christy nodded, but she really wasn't convinced.

"I talked to Alice briefly," he said. "She doesn't think Ferrand will rebuild."

Christy swallowed. "I know."

"Open to Phillipians, Christy," Fairlight told her. "Chapter four."

Christy chuckled. "I don't think I even need to open it. I am guessing it's these verses," Christy closed her eyes, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." She opened her eyes. "Am I right?"

"Yes, ma'am," Fairlight answered. "Sounds like you know that pretty well. Has it served you before?"

Christy nodded. "I remind myself of these verses often. Psalm fifty-five also. 'Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will not allow the righteous be shaken.' I wish it would automatically take away my worries, because you both know I have no patience."

"Does Cutter Gap need a mission?" Neil asked abruptly. "Does the mountain need a church to be a Christian community? David said Sunday it's not the building that brings people to Christ."

Christy sighed. "David and Ida could not stay without their salaries, so we would lose a minister. He sends quite a bit of money home to his mother each month." She met Neil's beautiful hazel eyes with a sad look. "Without a building, there could be no school." Her voice crackled at the end.

"With all the children here in the area, why isn't there a public school? Shouldn't we have a school paid for by the State of Tennessee?" Neil asked.

Christy shook her head. "I don't know. If there were a public school, I likely couldn't teach anyway because I don't have a license and haven't finished my degree."

"How long would it take to get yer license?" Fairlight asked.

"Oh, a year at least, maybe longer." Christy stared down at her hands. She didn't know exactly what she needed Neil to say but she was getting worked up and Ferrand wasn't even here yet.

"Christy," Fairlight grabbed her hand, "God will see you through this. You are here for Him, to do His will. Don't forget that. David, too. You both came from fine homes to help us, and God knows and understands our needs more than we do."

Christy nodded. "Thank you, Fairlight."

Ida came in the kitchen, and Fairlight stood up. "I best be getting' home. My writing ain't even worth yer reading today, Christy." Fairlight rested her hand on Christy's shoulder. "Come see me if you need to."

"Thank you," Christy whispered.

"Christy, can you set the table, please?" Ida called. She walked in the dining room, wiping her hands. "Are you staying Mrs. Spencer? Dr. MacNeill?"

"No," Fairlight chuckled. "I got my youngins' to cook fer." She gave a final glance to Christy, patted Neil on the shoulder, and then left the mission house.

"Dr. MacNeill?" Ida asked.

"Yes, I plan to, if there is enough," Neil said. "Thank you."

Ida nodded and looked at Christy. "Set the table?" she reminded her curtly.

Christy did as Ida asked. She stood and picked up the papers and ink well Fairlight had left behind. She was so emotional she didn't even know what to say to Neil. She set the places, feeling Neil's all-knowing eyes on her the whole time. When she was finished, she grabbed glasses and returned, adding them to the places.

He reached out and clasped her hand in his. "Will you not talk to me, Sweetheart?"

She smiled softly. She loved it when he called her that. "I don't know what to say. I am on the brink of tears and I don't want to cry. I want to have a nice evening with you." She squeezed his hand.

"Even if you cry, we will still have a nice evening because we are together. I'll just have to wipe your tears away, and try to make you feel better."

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

Back in the kitchen, she grabbed a pitcher and filled it with water. Ida had made a fresh pot of coffee and placed a pitcher of milk on the counter, too. Christy made two trips, but managed to carry it all in, along with a plate of sweet potatoes.

David and Alice came in through the kitchen door and joined them at the table.

"I didn't realize you were staying, Neil?" Alice asked him

Dare he tell her why he was here? He supposed they would understand soon enough. He glanced at Christy, who smiled encouragingly at him, and then looked back at Alice as Ida took a seat on his side.

"I attended church service yesterday," he said, quietly. "I have asked Christy to read the Bible with me. The particular Psalm David read touched me particularly, and it occurred to me that there are probably other passages in the Bible that are equally applicable to my life. I have decided to try to look at the Lord the way you do Alice, and see if just maybe there is more to the idea that God is love rather than a harsh, punisher."

You could have heard a pin drop. Three sets of eyes stared at him as if he had suddenly grown a third head. Christy reached out and took his hand. "You are at the right spot to get support, Neil."

"I know." He squeezed her hand, and continued to hold it. "Alice, as you can imagine, admitting I may have been wrong for so many years is rather… humbling."

As Alice so often did, she sat quietly, seemingly lost in thought. "First Peter tells us that should we humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord, He will exalt us. He will give us grace beyond measure," Alice smiled. "I am pleased, Neil. We will all be here to support your growth. Christy will be the first to tell you that the road to Heaven is not a straight one, it is full of doubt and uncertainty, which I believe is where you first strayed. But, now," she looked between Christy and Neil, "you have been found."

"Christy, you don't look like a shepherd to me," David chuckled.

"More like an angel sent down to help us all remember our life's purpose," Alice said.

Christy flushed, but Neil nodded at her. "It's true. You doubted your purpose here. I would say it is far greater than simply teaching the children of Cutter Gap Latin."

"I suppose time will tell." Christy looked at David. "Say Grace," she told him, Neil thought to cover her embarrassment.

Neil enjoyed dinner, but he enjoyed holding Christy's hand under the table more. Fortunately, he was left-handed and she was right, so it didn't appear odd to anyone who studied them. He was also pleased they would spend rest of the evening together. Genesis was the book of choice for the evening study, and now that the rest of the mission residents knew why he was there, why he would be coming more often, he wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Of course, even if he were not reading the Bible with Christy he would be coming more often. He really didn't know if he could make it a day without seeing her, now; she had become so important to him. It was pathetic really, how fast, and how hard he had fallen in love with her.

While she helped with dishes, Alice joined him in the parlor, with their coffee.

"Christy has plans for the Cove, Alice. Not all of them have anything to do with the mission." He took a sip of coffee. "If Ferrand won't rebuild, can she come back and stay with you?"

"Yes. I will make room. I agree with you, she has more work to do here, beyond teaching. Maybe if she was reminded of her importance here, it would be easier for her to return in May."

"I thought April?" he asked. May! That would mean five weeks without her!

"Classes do not restart until May. She could come back in April, or really, she does not even need to leave, except she does have that wedding to attend. Did she tell you about that?"

He nodded. "She asked me to go with her."

Alice smiled. "She wants you to meet her family, I am sure. You know how important they are to her. She is especially close to her father."

He nodded.

"You will go?" she asked, a concerned look replacing her smile.

"I don't know that I should."

"Explain," Alice commanded.

"I am in so far already… if she decides she cannot live here, that she prefers the city… It will just be more painful than it already will be."

"Would she have asked you to go with her if she did not want you in her life?"

He looked up at Alice. "I thought the same, but what if we get there and I make a fool of myself, or embarrass her? I haven't been in any sort of fancy society in so long…"

"Neil." Alice interrupted him. "She loves you. If she has not said it yet, it does not make it any less true. I believe she wants to be certain you and her parents will get along, that they will accept you and you will like them. What is so confusing about this?"

"And if she decides she can't live here?"

"Then you must make the choice yourself. Neil, you have dreams beyond Cutter Gap, Tennessee. You have dreams that could take you to Europe. Share those with her, include her in them. If she cannot be happy here, perhaps that is a sign from God that it is time for you to explore life beyond these mountains, with her by your side."

He stared at her for a long time, considering her words. Then he remembered the list Christy had written, all the ideas to make life here better. Would she have spent so much time thinking about that if she weren't planning to live here?

"Alright, the kitchen is all cleaned up!" Christy joined them, smiling.

"Which Psalm did David chose for Sunday?" Alice asked.

"David didn't choose it, Christy did." Neil grinned as she sat next to him on the davenport. "Psalm forty-six. She wanted him to focus on the concept that a refuge does not have to be a building. A refuge can be another person, and ultimately, God."

"I see." Alice smiled. "You realized, I suppose, Neil, that it is safe to seek refuge in another? That it is acceptable when feeling weak and uncertain to turn to someone who you trust."

He nodded. It was hard to rely on another. He had always struggled to do that. Maybe that was part of the reason he and Margaret were so miserable. He didn't trust her with his ideas and dreams because early on she belittled him so much. Christy never had. She had disagreed and argued with him, but mostly because she didn't understand him. When they first met, they were coming from such opposing points of view, but slowly, as they came to understand each other, and she was comfortable asking him questions, they were becoming of one mind. He would trust Christy; it was just taking him time to lower his armor.

Alice smiled wider. "As I said, she has been sent here to do His will." She patted Christy softly on the back and then stood. "I will keep you both in my prayers as you begin this particular journey together." She nodded toward the Bible in Christy's lap.

"Only that journey?" Neil asked, eyebrows raised.

"I shall rephrase that. All the journeys the two of you choose to undertake together." She grinned. "Better?"

He smiled into his coffee cup and nodded.

Once Alice was gone, Neil took Christy's hand and kissed it. "Are you ready?"

She nodded. As she opened her Bible, he could see all the notes in the margins along with doodles. He wanted to see what she had written, so he moved closer, and placed his arm along the back of the davenport.

"What do all these notes mean?" he asked. "My parents thought the Bible was too sacred to write in."

"My grandfather—"

"Doc! Glad I found you!"

Christy was interrupted by John Holcolme bursting into the mission. They both turned toward the upset man. Neil stood up, certain there was an emergency somewhere.

"What's wrong?" Neil asked.

"We found Tom. He's real bad off."

"Alice!" Neil yelled. "Where is he?" he asked John.

"Down at Bogg's place."

"Does Opal know?" Christy whispered.

"Someone went to fetch her," John said.

Both Alice and David came running into the parlor, with fearful looks.

"They found Tom," Neil said. "I have to go," he told Christy. "Alice, will you come?"

"I will," Alice said.

Neil glanced back at Christy as he left the mission. He hoped she understood that he did not want to leave her. This was just an example of what they would face, constantly, if she did agree to stay here, with him.

"David you ought to go to the McHone place and stay with the boys," Alice called over her shoulder as she followed Neil. "Isaak is particularly close to you, and it would be good to have a man there."

"Alright."

David followed them out, leaving Christy at the door, watching them all leave her behind.

Neil climbed on Charlie and she raised a hand in farewell as he rode away. It felt like a punch to his gut to leave her, but she knew this was his job, and he was used to being called away when he wanted to be doing something else. He hoped she would come to accept his absences better than Margaret had.

Maybe that was his real concern about moving ahead in their relationship. He had such high hopes when he came home from school with his new bride. Neil had thought Margaret would love it here as much as he did, that it would become part of her, as it was him, but instead, the Cove had turned her mean, snobby, and downright cruel at times. She had never been like Christy, though, never as open-hearted and loving, but maybe this place could even make Christy miserable?

He had a lot of thinking to do, but for the moment, he needed to keep his wits and find out if he could help Tom or not. Opal had yet to heal from the ordeal of her baby girl dying, and now if she had to face life without her husband, it might be too much for her to take.