Hello, all, if anyone is actually reading this. If not, I don't mind. Life with the Choir of muses is so strange and ever-present that it's therapeutic as well as fun for me to write fics like this one.

Everyone excited for September and Ever Crisis? Personally, I'm…eh. I kind of prefer my characters to look as realistic as possible and am not really into demake-type stuff. My fingers are crossed we'll get Remake news – or better yet, a trailer – soon.

For those of you reading this on fanfictiondotnet, I'm FINALLY current and cross-posting on AO3 as well. It seems a bit livelier over there. So, if you wish, you can find me there, also as Amarissia, and on Twitter at athlynne81. The Final Fantasy community there is thriving and full of glorious nutcases.

No warnings needed this time, but be advised – this chapter contains a vague but rather important spoiler for Final Fantasy XV.

A VERY CHOIR REMAKE
Chapter 7

"So, are we agreed?"

Heidegger shifted in his chair and made a gruff, vaguely-protesting noise. "I don't know, sir. Don't kids say less is more with movies and video games? Like, if you show too much of a good thing, it becomes commonplace and people get sick of it?"

Scarlet looked at her colleague with surprise overcoming her usual contempt. "Who the hell would want less of Sephiroth? I personally would like to make another plea for nudity. At least partial. Sometimes more is better."

Rufus spoke up, sounding bored. "I believe the general has refused every other attempt by non-Cloud persons to get his clothes off. I doubt he'd agree to do reference photos or motion-capture starkers."

President Shinra nodded. "What do you think, Rufus? If you were in my shoes – "

"There'd be justice in the world," the young heir muttered under his breath.

" – would you put a lot of Sephiroth in the game, or leave him enigmatic and mysterious, only showing up a few times? And maybe some of those times it's not really him, but that alien-with-boobs-thing Hojo has masquerading as him?"

Rufus blinked his grayish eyes once, then twice. "The more Sephiroth there is, the more his fans will want the game, thus better sales, for this game, and any sequels. I think the general is mysterious even when you see a lot of him. He's not exactly emotive or talkative."

Palmer spoke up, or squeaked up, more accurately. "Are we still casting him as a villain? Wouldn't that be bad PR for the SOLDIER program?"

"Not to worry," the president said, waving his hand dismissively. "He'll seem like the villain at first, but for those who look in-depth, it will become clear that he's being manipulating by that Jehovah – "

"That's Jenova, sir," Scarlet interrupted, looking offended for no reason that makes sense on a completely different planet than Earth.

" – right, Jenova. It will be perfectly clear to those who understand the story that Sephiroth is actually a fallen hero in need of redemption."

"Sir." Reeve somewhat timidly raised a hand. "Perhaps Cloud is the one who redeems him in the end? Both the general and Cloud may be more willing to cooperate with the game-making if we include their love story, even if we keep it vague."

"Hmm. There's an idea. Give me an example of keeping it vague."

"Well, uh, instead of the general asking Cloud to snuggle with him, he might say something like, 'Don't deny me, embrace me.'"

"Mmm, chills," Scarlet said, looking pleased, and for once not about things that kill people. "Can't go wrong inserting some yaoi. Might alienate some of the fans, but eh, who really needs them?"

Reeve's pocket beeped a few times. Muttering an apology, he took out his phone, checked it, and rose from his seat. "Sir, might I be excused early? I'm getting a message from some of my juniors about a situation in Sector 3."

"Of course, we can carry on without you. Off you go." The president took out a cigar, looked at it a moment, and put it away.

"Need a light, Father?"

"No, no, I won't smoke it now. It's funny, I wanted to, but then heard a voice in my head forbidding it. Almost as though the divine writer of my story heavily disapproves of all forms of smoking and won't let characters do it even when it's canon that they do so," President Shinra said with a hearty laugh.

"Huh. Imagine that," Rufus said flatly, and began typing a text to Reno.

Heidegger spoke up. "So, if the general is an anti-hero, who will the villain be, sir?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The old man's face briefly twisted into a scowl, and he didn't say the next word so much as venomously spat it. "Wutai."

"Oh, do we have to bring Wutai into everything?" Scarlet asked airily. "It seems like we blame every problem on them."

"Exactly. We'll use the game to stir up further anti-Wutai sentiment!"

"But ninjas are SO last year."

"Sir," Heidegger began, "how exactly will Wutai be presented as an enemy to Cloud and whatever characters we put in his party? I don't think Cloud is capable of disliking anyone."

"We'll have to take some creative license. I had an idea – Cloud and his friends could be peacefully traveling, maybe scouting out some mako springs for the company, and boom, they're ambushed by a Wutaian who steals all their materia. She'll join the party, but at least some players will never forgive her and not let her fight in any battles, thus not giving her much chance to level up."

I interrupt this fanfic to sheepishly raise my hand. Don't worry, Yuffie and I made peace when she helped me/Vincent out in Dirge of Cerberus.

The president was still talking. "We'll make her really annoying, and she'll be a constant reminder to the party of how unlikeable Wutaians are. It's subtle, but brilliant, no?"

"Absolutely brilliant, sir," Scarlet practically cooed. "Might I suggest Godo's daughter herself? I hear she's a treasure-hunter, we can play up Wutainese greed as well."

"Sheer genius! Tseng, write that one down."

"He's not behind you, Father," Rufus said without taking his eyes off his phone.

"Oh, right. The Turks are having their own meeting."

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"…so I've been only using soft rope since then, because it turns out most guys find rope-burn spoils the mood. Who would have thought?"

Kiisa shook her head at Amaya, the speaker, her best friend and work partner. "Anyone, Aya. Anyone would think that."

Tseng politely coughed into his gloved hand. Somehow the small gesture was elegant, as were most things the head Turk did.

"Interesting as your dating life is, Amaya, we are trying to have a meeting here. I need your reports."

"Oh, right. Sephy is the same as ever…"

"General Sephiroth, Aya," Kiisa interjected, shaking her head again.

"…he doesn't talk much, except with Cloud, doesn't smile much, except with Cloud, doesn't really socialize, except with Cloud." Amaya pushed a blond curl back from her face, her blue eyes wide and more innocent than she herself really was. "Are you sensing a theme here?"

Tseng sighed, then turned to Kiisa, whose cheeks went very faintly pink under his gaze. "And Cloud?"

"Continues to be everyone's friend and cheerleader," the young woman said, smiling, as most people did when talking about the honorary SOLDIER. "He continues to keep the general content and happy here, and just generally has not an enemy in the world. Even if Wutai captured him, he'd probably be best buddies with them all in a few hours. Cloud spends most of his time, as usual, accompanying General Sephiroth, and otherwise slips off to the Portal Room to visit his human and animal friends outside of our reality."

Tseng leaned forward, seemingly interested. "Have you had any luck accessing the room yet?"

"No, sir. I can't quite explain how, but I just can't go in there. It's like…it's only for the Five," Kiisa said, referring to Angeal, Genesis, Zack, Sephiroth, and Cloud. "Somehow I know that if I did somehow manage to step foot in there…I'd disappear, or something else really bad would happen."

"Cool," Amaya said flatly. "Let's push Reno in there. Uh, to investigate."

"I might consider it, if he doesn't start paying attention. Reno, you can sext Rufus later. Put the phone down."

"I am, I am." Grudgingly, the redhead turned his phone facedown on the conference table.

"Report, please."

"I think Fair's losing his marbles."

"Please elaborate."

Reno considered his response for a few moments before speaking. "Look, I dunno if I can call what he's having delusions, when I can't prove that there isn't some semi-omniscient fangirl in whose stories we're all characters, being controlled by her, y'know? That's what Fair thinks. He blames everything wrong in his life on some puppet-master."

"Persecution complex?" a Turk with large, dark green sunglasses asked.

"I don't think so. That's the weird part, he seems completely sane, even when he's saying these bizarre things."

"Like what?" Tseng probed.

"Apparently in one of these stories Hewley, like, uh, sorta paper-trained him." Reno looked a little embarrassed to say this, which quietly surprised this whole room of the people who knew him best.

"That's hot."

"Thank you for that assessment, Amaya," Tseng said dryly. "How is Fair's health otherwise?"

"He continues to excel in missions and training. I'm pretty sure the only thing holding him back from 1st Class is his age. I've heard Hewley doesn't want any more jealousy directed at him. And Zack ain't ambitious when it comes to rank. Just wants to be a hero, y'know?"

Tseng nodded. "Continue to keep a close eye on him, Reno. Orders from above."

"You got it, boss."

"Chyren?"

The green-sunglasses man chuckled while he shifted in his chair. "Commander Hewley is a creature of habit. He frequents the same places – Nash's Greenery Supplies for his garden, pizza and movie dates with Zack, occasionally pulling Genesis out of clubs in the middle of the night. Hewley seems completely stable and content, if rather boring to tail."

Tseng quirked a wry smile. "I promise to try to give you more interesting tasks in the future. Rod?"

A tall, lanky man with a serious face sat up straight when he was called on. The weapon that his nickname came from was as always on his back, as Rod was a rather suspicious person and liked to be armed at all times. The younger Turks had always thought him slightly paranoid, but put it down to him having been a Turk longer than most; surely the guy had seen some shit.

"Commander Rhapsodos is, uh, interesting. Borderline obsessive about some things, but easily bored, always moving on to the next trendy coffee shop or club."

"Or adult store," Reno added. Beside him, Rude chuckled, the only noise he had made so far in this meeting.

"Precisely. He can be a bit of a nightmare to guard, since he seeks out so much casual sex, but of course, he's a 1st, he can handle himself against most kinds of trouble that can crop up. His online activity is, uh, questionable, but nothing illegal. He also frequents the Portal Room, but like Kiisa, I've been unable to enter it myself. Sephiroth usually shoos him out after a while. Genesis's antagonistic relationship with Fair remains unchanged."

"It's kind of sad," Chyren mused, "seeing Angeal caught in the middle of those two. He's a good guy. Whenever he inevitably notices me tailing him, he speaks to me pleasantly, even gave me homemade brownies once. Better even than my mom's."

Rod looked thoughtful, as he often did. "I think Commander Rhapsodos is lonely, as we've theorized before. The rest of his 'family' are all paired up, with him the odd man out."

Kiisa frowned. "That's sad. You'd think Genesis could have anyone he wanted."

Amaya was twirling the blade of one of Kiisa's knives into the top of the table. Without taking her eyes off the weapon, she said, "Maybe he doesn't want a serious relationship. He just doesn't want to not have one either."

"Rhapsodos is quite complex," Tseng agreed. "And he may feel like he's lost Hewley, to some extent. I don't think it's coincidence that the target of most of his harassment is Fair, Hewley's fiancé."

"Well, I tried," Amaya said with a pout, "but Genesis has an aversion to boobs, and everything else more feminine than himself. Why are all the hot ones gay around here?"

"Because SOLDIER is a totally male institution that naturally draws men who want to be around other men?" Kiisa offered.

"Or, the gods cursed me for that time we were in Wutai, remember?"

"How could I forget?" Kiisa groaned. "A group of Crescent summoned Leviathan, and you tried to feed it a mouse."

"Well, it's a snakey thing, isn't it?"

"Reno, don't make me repeat myself, off the phone."

The redhead shook his head, fingers rapidly tapping the little keyboard. "Not talking to Rufus, boss. An informant says there's a disturbance moving between Sectors 3 and 4, nothing he's ever seen before."

"I see. Reno, Rude, go first. Amaya, Kiisa, be their back-up. The rest of you are on standby. Dismissed."

"What kind of disturbance?" Rude asked his partner in a low, smooth voice.

"Sounds like some Kingdom Hearts shit happening, if you ask me."

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The portly executive always answered knocks at his door with the same gruff, almost growled "Enter," expecting and usually receiving subordinates who either needed to be intimidated into working their hardest, or were bringing bad news and thus deserved their superior's almost-constant bad mood. This time, however, Heidegger allowed himself a faint smile at the sight of a spiky blond head slipping around the door into his office.

"Cloud. Hello."

"Hi, Mr. Heidegger!" the honorary SOLDIER chirped happily.

It wasn't much of a walk in this small office to the desk, and when Cloud got to it, he set down what appeared to be a potted plant, but what a strange plant it was. Its leaves looked normal enough, but the bulk of it vaguely resembled a head which was mostly mouth, with even a contrasting line of color that intimated lips. Heidegger was briefly reminded of Marlboros, and hoped the rather naïve boy hadn't been tricked into bringing him something dangerous.

"Ah. What's this, then?"

"It's a Mideelian fly trap! Angeal got it from one of his fans, but he worried that if he put it in the garden it might accidentally get one of the butterflies! So I asked him if they can live indoors, and he said yes, they only need to eat a fly every now and then, and I thought you might like it, so he said I could give it to you!"

Heidegger gave another smile to the boy who was obviously pleased with himself, and looked again at the odd gift. A carnivorous house plant, he had not known there were such things, and this knowledge made him quite like, even respect it. It was the perfect, if not the only, plant for one as manly and macho as himself, Heidegger thought; Scarlet might even get inspired by it to create a new fighting mech for Shinra. The executive looked at Cloud again, having smiled now more times than he could ever remember doing in one day, and opened his top desk drawer to rummage in it while he spoke.

"I like it! That's very thoughtful of you, son, thank you."

Cloud giggled. "It's ferocious, for a plant, so I knew you'd like it!"

"I very much do. Here, I've got the iced oatmeal kind today…"

Cloud accepted the plastic package of cookies with a "Thank you, sir!" Sephiroth allowed him to accept such things, but only from people they both knew, who had at least a healthy fear of Sephiroth. Heidegger, however unwillingly it might have been, had developed a fondness for Cloud that the general understood and tolerated, and anyway, the cookies were commercially packaged and sealed. (The boy was under orders to never take anything from Scarlet, even though she'd offered him lollipops before.)

"No animal friends with you today?" The gruff man didn't like to admit to it, but he liked Cloud's pets and would permit himself a quick pat when he encountered one.

"Nope. They're all super-busy."

Heidegger chuckled at the wide-eyed boy's sincerity. "Ah, do they have their own schedules to keep?"

"Oh, yes!" Cloud nodded importantly, yellow spikes bouncing. "Patrick keeps the chocobos company at the stables, and Silverstream guards me and Seph's place when we're not there, and Kei is too slow to do much but eat up Angeal's lettuce, but Bito and Nu keep their pond clean, and Cait patrols to make sure no one sneaks into this building without permission!"

Heidegger had been nodding along as the boy mentioned his chickabo, kitten, turtle, and pair of koi fish, but his brow furrowed in puzzlement at the last. "Cait? Is that a new one?"

"Kinda. He's a kitty, not a real kitty, he's animatronic, but he's a hero. He won't let anything bad happen to Shinra on his watch."

"Oh…so that creature is yours? It's been spotted, and I wondered if it might be a spy or some other kind of intruder."

"Oh, no, sir," the adorable boy said innocently, "he's on our side. He wouldn't do anything bad."

"Well, I'm relieved to know this," Heidegger said, and he did look relieved, though not very visibly beyond the relatively relaxed state Cloud's presence put him in. "Thank you, Cloud, that was very helpful. I'll alert my men to not bother your cat friend should they see him making his rounds."

"Thank you, Mr. Heidegger! Oh, excuse me." In response to a soft chiming, the boy pulled his phone out of a pocket and examined it. "I have to go, Seph needs me right away."

"Back to work for us both, then," the man chuckled. "Thank you again for the plant and the intel, my boy."

"Thank you for the cookies!" Cloud answered brightly, and bounded out, seeming to leave the office darker in his absence.

Slowly, Heidegger's smile faded away into his usual, much less genial expression, and he examined the fly trap again. Soon a grin briefly crossed his scarred face, but that's because he was imagining feeding Palmer to his little friend, piece by frog-like piece.

remakeremakeremake

Stealth movement was a skill SOLDIERs began to learn early in their training, and one the successful among them never lost. It was not the easiest thing to teach to a bunch of rowdy, awkward, sometimes bulky teenage boys, which was what made up the SOLDIER cadet corps and the 3rd Class, and so was usually imparted by the most patient instructors available, with Angeal himself occasionally giving a lesson or leading a practice mission.

It was a pity that Genesis was considered too dangerously unpredictable (a reputation he encouraged) to be trusted with teaching anything, because stealth came to him naturally. The Scarlet SOLDIER, with his dancer's gracefulness, had no trouble walking soundlessly on almost any surface, twisting himself lithely around corners and objects of all shapes and sizes, even letting out his fashionably-black wing and taking to the air. And he did it all so stylishly.

However, there was no one to see him right now, or so he was counting on, as Genesis slithered, back pressed to a wall, down the corridor past his and his fellow muses' apartment doors. (These residences were actually somewhat spread apart around the Shinra Compound, but spatial continuity, like gravity, is for Nintendo players.) His goal – the lone door at the hallway's very end, the one that beckoned to him like a siren's song.

He got through and noiselessly shut it behind him, but that was the easy part. The room he found himself in was hard to judge in terms of size, as it grew with each new fandom Amarissia picked up, and each fellow fan she made friends with. But its plain aesthetic never changed – its only features were nondescript doors, each with a sign on them bearing the names of people, video games, movies, books, et cetera…and depressingly, every one was sealed. Their locks varied in degree of difficulty, the portals to people sometimes only being secured by a key that was left in the door, therefore no real barrier to entry at all, while those leading to other fictional universes sported high-tech keypads, thick chains, fingerprint and retinal scanners, that sort of thing.

It's like Seph doesn't trust me at all, Genesis huffed indignantly to himself as he walked, delicately as a ballerina, to the door he knew the way to by heart. Even had he forgotten its location, this portal was easily spotted, as its locks visibly outnumbered any other's. The sign on it read 'Final Fantasy XV.'

Soon, my pets. Soon, Prince Emo and his sexy bad-touch uncle will be all mine.

He went for the keypad first, remembering where he'd left off last time and proceeding to punch in strings of four digits in ascending order. 5643, 5644, 5645, 5646, and so on. Not a particularly brilliant plan, nothing he'd be regaling his fan club with, but a genius like Sephiroth wasn't the type to just use the birthdays of his acquaintances for something like this. He was much more likely to choose random sets of numbers and just memorize them all, and he certainly wouldn't be so careless as to write any of them down. (Genesis had snooped around the general's apartment just in case, but no luck.)

With each input that resulted in a disappointing negative beep, the 1st felt his annoyance, easily triggered at the best of times, grow. He didn't feel he had been lately asking for too much. All right, maybe he'd been foolish to make known his X-rated intentions toward this world's protagonist, but in fairness, it had been a while since he'd seen Sephiroth's Great Uke-Defender persona rear its pretty head, the general's impulse (probably having its roots in Cloud) to protect every naïve young character that the Choir encountered. Genesis, as excited as Amarissia by their new obsession, hadn't anticipated that Sephiroth would declare Noctis off-limits and secure the portal this excessively.

Ammy-chan's no help either. She has overrides for all the portals, but keeps telling me to be patient, or she has to do more research, or she doesn't want to upset the Choir equilibrium. It's not fair. It's not fair I'm the only one who –

"Genesis."

The redhead whirled around, more startled than anyone should be who knew Sephiroth well. 1sts were masters of stealth, true, but none compared to the general, who when he wanted to might as well be a ghost.

"Seph! Uh…"

To the Silver SOLDIER's credit, he didn't look angry or even annoyed, just perhaps a trifle…riled up. Alert.

"I was just…"

"I know what you were doing. We can discuss it later. Something of greater urgency is occurring."

"You need me?" Genesis's mood lifted considerably. "What's up?"

"Sensors indicated unauthorized movement in this room at 0327 hours."

"It wasn't me, honest. I've only been here a few minutes."

"I know," Sephiroth continued patiently. "It was not an unauthorized entry, but an exit."

"Huh?"

"Something came out of one of the portals, then left the Portal Room, and recent reports suggest it is now creating havoc within the city."

Genesis was sufficiently curious to give up his lock-picking…for now. "And the something is?"

"Difficult to describe adequately. If you will follow me, I can show you video footage."

Genesis obligingly accompanied his dear friend toward the exit. As they walked, he pulled what looked like a thumb-sized gummy from a jacket pocket, unwrapped it, and shoved it whole into his mouth. Genesis not being a frequent consumer of candy, it was now Sephiroth's turn to feel inquisitive.

"What was that?"

"Oh, something Amarissia gave me to try for anxiety. You gave me such a start just now. She said it's just become legal in her state, or something. I can probably get one for you, if you'd like."

Sephiroth shook his head, waterfall of silver hair catching the light as he did so. "I do not have anxiety. Nor the patience to deal with any more of Hojo's lectures."

"Weird. I'd sure be on edge if I knew any time some evil female voice might start blaring in my head. I mean, there's Amarissia, but she at least writes porn for me."

Sephiroth broke his famous composure long enough to chuckle.

To be concluded.