Chapter 28
"So, what will you write next, Mrs. Doctor Dear?" Susan asked Anne as they sewed.
"Oh, Susan, my next project shall be a book for people who want other people to think that they are well-read, but who don't actually want to read," said Anne.
Anne continued, "My working title is "Lots and Lots of Really Big Words. The inside of the book will just be prints of people reading."
"Really, Mrs. Doctor Dear?" said Susan.
"No, not really, Susan. That was a joke. Folks who want to convince others that they are well-read can carry around a book. Any book. In fact, that's why The Life-Book of Captain Jim sold so well. Folks carried it around just to show off."
"Well, that's actually a good idea. I'm sure that Mr. Ford appreciates the sales," said Susan, not realizing that Anne ripped on herself, Gilbert, Susan, Miss Cordelia, and Marshall Elliot with her jab about the Life-Book.
"Speaking of Mr. Ford, I meant to tell you, Dr. Doctor, that I saw that The Islander did a write-up of that little book that you wrote with Mr. Ford."
Anne said, "Why, Susan. Can you please retrieve it for me?"
Anne put down her sewing. She paged through The Islander until she found the review:
They Misled Us - A Review
This critic maintains that Mr. Ford and Mrs. Blythe mislead us. Neither has any experience of life among the Nova Scotia working class. Mr. Ford was raised among corruption and privilege in Toronto. Mrs. Blythe lived with wealthy farmers on Prince Edward Island. She attended Redmond University and married a prominent P.E.I. physician.
Anne grunted. Again? Where did the critics get this stuff?
Anne continued reading.
Ford should be kicked out of the Canadian Authors Association for writing such a terrible book. This publication does not know if Blythe belongs to the Canadian Authors Association. However, if she does, she should be kicked out as well. The story has no redeeming qualities. It lacks nuance. The characterizations are ill-defined.
After Ford and Blythe completed their first draft, they should have destroyed it and started from scratch.
This is the type of book that should have only two types of readers: the author's parents, and the author's siblings. It goes without saying that both categories of readers would engage in pity reads.
Anne finished reading the review. Then she said, "Susan, did you read this?"
Susan said, "Yes, Mrs. Doctor Dear. The review was very good. The writer did an excellent job."
Anne thought, "Susan didn't read this! If Susan had read this, she would have very loudly protested that the reviewer criticized Owen so harshly. Does Susan just make it a regular habit to claim to read things that she didn't read?"
Anne said, "Perhaps you should show this review to the doctor. He will be excited when you tell him that The Islander did such a nice write-up about me and Mr. Ford."
Susan said, "Oh, yes, indeed I shall, Mrs. Doctor Dear."
Gilbert came home that evening while Anne was upstairs putting the children to bed. Anne heard Gilbert talking to Susan as she heated his dinner.
Anne came downstairs.
"Anne-girl! Susan just told me about what a nice review The Islander printed about your book."
Anne said, "Did you read the review yourself, Gilbert?"
Gilbert said, "Indeed I did, Anne-girl!"
Anne said, "Oh, are you so sure about that, Gilbert Blythe?"
Gilbert said, "Anne, I read it as you came down the stairs."
Anne said, "Read it again."
Gilbert picked up The Islander and read the review.
Gilbert said, "Oh. Well. That's interesting."
Anne said, "Yeah, this is the first time that you actually read the review, isn't it, Gilbert Blythe?"
Gilbert said, "Anne. Look. I'm tired. Sorry about the review, Anne. Nothing that they printed is true. Well, except for that part about Ford. Everything printed about Ford is true. And I am a prominent physician, Anne. Brilliant, too. And devastatingly handsome. But none of the stuff that they printed about you is true, Anne-girl."
Anne said, "How comforting of you to say so, Gilbert."
Gilbert said, "Also, Anne, whoever wrote this review can't even write well! I mean, who writes everything in the passive tense anyway?"
Anne said, "Oh, Gilbert, how can I hold my head up on this island? I'm a joke now!"
Gilbert said, "Oh, Anne, I'm sure that nobody that we know even read that review."
Anne said, "Oh, gee, you're right, Gil. I mean, my own husband didn't read it until I called his bluff. My housekeeper didn't read it. I was a fool to think that you guys would care enough to read it."
Gilbert said, "Now hold on there. I've had a long day. I had to tell Mr. MacDonald that his wife will most likely be dead in a week. I had to tell the Liard family that their son Herman is dying of pneumonia."
Anne said, "Don't worry, Gilbert. I'll get over myself now."
Gilbert said, "No hold on there, Anne-girl. That's not what I said."
Anne said, "But that's what you meant, isn't it?"
Gilbert paused for a moment. Then he said, "Look, Anne. I'm ecstatic that you earned some money from this book. Diana will always have you to thank for saving her home. But it's not like you will ever need to write to support our family. That's my job."
Anne said, "That's right, Gilbert. It's not like you will ever be gone and leave me alone to support our family. You wouldn't possibly ever get trapped and leave me wondering if I will end up as a penniless widow."
Gilbert said, "Oh, come on, Anne. I came back to you. You won't ever need to make money writing again, Anne-girl. Owen Ford, on the other hand - he's not as lucky as you are. He must write - and get paid well to write. He must, Anne-girl. There is no other option for him."
