Ambitions

Iruma couldn't help but be in awe of Ameri's ambitions, to better the lives of others and follow in her father's footsteps. Although her ideas about running a bakery or working as a florist sounded neat, too.

"What about you!? Don't you have any ambitions to speak of!?"

"Huh... Do I have any? Let me think on that…" Nothing really came to mind. It wasn't something he could really afford to consider too often. Between meeting other people's needs and surviving day to day, he'd never really had much time or energy to devote to thinking about it.

Iruma found himself thinking back to his reflections earlier this morning. About how he spent his whole life struggling, learning to manage misery so as not to let it consume him and then of his time here. His new family. His friends.

Even balancing it with the dangers of being found out as a human, he couldn't help but feel, well… "Honestly, I'm pretty satisfied just having fun with all the people I've met around here." He'd never had anything like that before. A part of him was still scared it would all end at any moment.

But clearly, that answer didn't sit well with Ameri. "No, that's only an ideal. I asked you what your ambitions are. Ideals and ambitions are different. What I want to know is what you are eager to achieve for yourself. Your desire."

She stared intently and stated, "I'll ask you again, Iruma. And tell me the truth. What is your dream?"

Iruma froze. In that moment, he was reminded that they really were from different worlds; he didn't mean just earth and the netherworld, either.

Most students were in school to prepare for the adult world when the time came that they were intended to join it. He'd grown up in an environment where he had to deal with the world of adults even when everything worked against his success as a child. Growing up, his parents had thrown him into one situation after the next. He'd struggled to make ends meet and get enough food and shelter. At the same time, he was often hiding or fleeing from uncountable dangers where every day could be the last if he made even the smallest mistake.

Striving for happiness was ambitious.

Having it was new for him.

But for Ameri and for most of the students of Babyls, it was such a given thing that it was considered an ideal. She had never faced that particular kind of struggle. Nor had she probably ever worried about her happiness or her life being torn away from her for some secret she had no control over.

Not the way he did.

But was it an ambition to just not want to slide back into misery and struggling alone against the world for survival?

Maybe not.

Maybe Ameri was right. Maybe he was so caught up with the new way of life he'd found himself and the joy of the people around him that he'd gotten lost in it.

"A dream…? For me…?" His whole life, he'd just wanted to have a life with friends and family who were happy and wanted him around. He'd gotten that basically handed to him in a matter of days. He'd been too busy cherishing what he now had to think beyond it.

Where did he go from here? Could he want more? "I guess I…Well it's…maybe…"

Suddenly, he felt lightheaded. When was the last time he'd taken a breath?

As he sank to the floor and released the last of the air in his lungs, Ameri asked if he was okay and rushed to his side.

Ameri allowed Iruma a moment to catch his breath before checking, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, it's just…my entire life, all I allowed myself to think about was what everyone else was asking me to do for them. I'd never once considered what I want for me…"

"Do it now."

Iruma looked up at her and couldn't help the admiration he felt at her words, encouraging him to do something for himself.

"If you don't have one, think. To fly, you must first open your wings."

Yeah but…" but what could he do…think…think… "I got nothing…"

Ameri continued, suggesting he start with climbing the ranks; right up until the doors to the room were knocked off their hinges by a wrecking ball, courtesy of Clara, who was dragging Iruma off as Azz apologized profusely before he even had a chance to process what was going on. Still, despite the apologies and scolding he was giving Clara, the fact that the other was not stepping in and taking a more active role to remove her and himself made Iruma wonder if the pink haired demon was secretly happy with the arrangement, too.

Maybe Iruma should have expected this. His friends were very protective of him and the manga readings with Ameri were hands down the longest amounts of time he was separated from them during the school day.

He was honestly glad that Ameri was so understanding, dismissing them with the promise of waiting for him to reach her if he chose to climb the ranks.