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Back from vacation and I'm not apologising for the gap in time. Vacation is vacation.

Someone asked for more of a chapter (6?) and i've written most of it, but they wanted more because it was fun, and now i made it sad. Whoops. At least it's twice as long as these single chapter bits.

The less reviews i get the less motivated i am to write more, so… ball's in your court people.

Have a good weekend!

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to.

For anyone reading on a mobile device that has a broken 'Review' option; story ID is : 11778669

General rating, language.

italics are inside thoughts. or a letter. or emphasis.

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Mustang didn't get many chances to go to the library, usually there were pages and interns to do that work for him. That's not to say that he didn't enjoy going just that he didn't feel he needed to. This trip was personal though, to see if there'd been anything new added about flame alchemy. If there was he was unashamedly going to burn it. Then he'd send someone to keep an eye on the author to make sure no other books were written.

When he came around the corner to the more dangerous theories of alchemy he was startled but not surprised to see FullMetal sleeping face down on a pile of books. Apparently his go-to-the-library-at-midnight-to-avoid-other-people plan only worked if you didn't count Ed as 'people'. It was almost predictable, he'd been in charge of Ed for two years now and at 14 the kid was proving to be quite a handful. When he took the kid in Mustang knew he'd signed on to be more than a superior officer, he just hadn't realised it would be so tiring. Deciding to leave the kid there for a while he continued on his quest, Ed would probably wake up on his own anyway.

Two hours later Mustang came out of the stacks, he hadn't found anything new but had distracted himself with some other interesting information and forgotten the time. He'd also almost forgotten about his subordinate. Almost. Indeed, Ed was still there and still sleeping. Not a hair had moved and he showed no signs of waking up in the foreseeable future. The Colonel thought briefly about leaving him but then decided that the library wasn't exactly the coziest of places and the kid would probably catch a cold if he slept here all night. He definitely did not want to deal with a germ covered teenage alchemist. Not after the last time.

Approaching the blond warily he shook Fullmetal's shoulder and stepped back to avoid any possible negative reactions... nothing. Becoming braver he approached again and knocked his knuckles on the top of Ed's head, "Anyone home?", again nothing. Frowning, he crouched down and jabbed him in the gut with a stray pencil, still nothing. No movement from the sleeping alchemist. Mustang considered the situation for a while then slowly a mischievous grin spread across his face.

Walking around behind the chair he grabbed the back of it and shook violently, "EARTHQUAKE!"

Ed fell out of the chair and slumped onto the floor. Still sleeping.

Mustang was annoyed, how Ed always managed to annoy him so completely he never knew. The kid wasn't even awake and he'd done it perfectly.

Ed mumbled and snuggled into the floor, his shirt riding up the smallest amount. Mustang noticed though, he noticed because there was bandage type cloth poking out from under the shirt. He knelt down next to his coma patient and poked him in the side a little farther up. Still bandages here too. "Ed, are you hiding injuries again?"

No answer. But he wasn't really expecting one.

Ed rolled over onto his back causing the shirt to ride up a little more, exposing even more bandages wrapped around his middle. Mustang was about to investigate further before realising how it would look if Ed woke up or worse, if someone came into this section of the library at 2am to see him undressing an unconscious fourteen year old boy. There was absolutely no way to explain that scenario and he shivered in horror at what that would do to his reputation. Better to just get the kid back to his dorm room.

He scooped Ed up off the floor and then froze. True, he had little experience carrying children, and no experience carrying teenagers. However, he had a LOT of experience carrying women. Mostly to bed. He knew how their middles were softer and their hips were curvier. He knew what they felt like when they were pressed against him. And he knew instantly that the person he currently held in his arms was full grown female. No question.

Except there were a lot of questions and the longer he stood there the faster they flew at him, some accompanied with answers he hadn't known he knew.

Bandages.

Short jokes.

Fear of hospitals.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked down at Fullmetal still sleeping in his arms. It took him a long while to reconcile this face with the one he'd been taunting earlier and now that he could clearly see her face he learned why his 'earthquake' plan hadn't worked. There were huge bags under her eyes giving him the impression that she hadn't slept in a very long time. He wasn't sure how much time had passed as he stared at her but eventually Fullmetal mumbled and it surprised Mustang enough that he almost dropped her. In response to his reaction, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face into his neck.

Mustang was at a loss. He still had to get Ed back to the barracks but wasn't sure if his legs actually still worked. He wiggled his toes and they responded. Ok. He could do this. One foot, two foot, left foot… yeah, it better not be blue, he was counting on it.

Eventually the Colonel mastered the art of walking and got himself and Ed out of the library without further issues. And, it wasn't that far to the barracks. Though the longer he held Ed the more she seemed to weigh. He started muttering to himself, "Jeeze Ed, how do you walk around in this stuff? Your automail weighs a tonne."

Bad idea asking her questions, even indirectly, with her face pressed into his neck. Especially after jostling her out of a coma and into normal sleep. Her answer was incoherent but the movement of her lips against his skin almost made him falter in his steps. Oh shit! Were those her teeth?! She'd opened her mouth to yawn and scraped one of her incisors along his throat. His grip tightened on her and he switched all of his efforts into keeping his vision straight and his feet moving forward. Almost there. Keep your mind out of the gutter. He was concentrating so hard on not thinking bad things about the girl in his arms that he almost missed a flash in the distance. Damn, was that lightning? The rain would definitely wake Ed and he didn't want to be anywhere near her when that happened. She'd probably wake up screaming that he was a pervert and that he'd kidnapped her. He prayed the rain let off until he got Ed home.

Mustang knocked with his foot and Alphonse was at the door in moments. Surveying the situation he moved his giant metal body to the side and let the frazzled Mustang in, then pointed to Ed's room.

"What happened? Is brother ok?"

"Yeah, she's fine. She just fell asleep in the library. I figured I'd bring her back here."

Alphonse went quiet.

Mustang put his charge on her bed before turning to Alphonse, "Don't worry Al, I won't tell. I just have to do a background check."

"...Ok."

"How old is she actually and what's her name?"

Alphonse hesitated at first, but then narrowed his eyes at the Colonel and shared his sister's secret, "Edaline. And she's 18."

Oh thank christ!

The relief must have shown on the Colonel's face because the suit of armour full on glared at him. "If you're not going to tell anyone, why do you need to do a background check?"

Uhh…

"What happened at the library Colonel? Why are you happy she's eighteen?"

The metal suit advanced on him, clearly threatening.

"Nothing! I didn't touch her. I just picked her up and brought her here. Everything is great. Your secret is safe with me." Mustang bolted from the room, nerves shot.

Alphonse went over to close the door after the retreating Colonel and shook his head, "He's gone now. Are you happy?"
Ed started laughing hysterically. "That was hilarious! I mean, I know Maes said it would be funny, but that was the best!" She started wiping away the dark makeup from around her eyes.

Despite not breathing, the metal armor sighed, "Ed, what did you do to him?" He was starting to feel sorry for the Colonel.

"Nothing really… ok maybe I bit him. But I think Maes got some great photos in the courtyard on the way over."

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This was fun. I think I'll see if i can get Maes into another story.