-.-.-.-.-. notes -.-.-.-.-.-.-

I do not own FMA, nor do I wish to. Seems like it'd be a lot of trouble. I'm just writing for fun, no money is being made.

Rating: General w/ language.

-.-.-.-.-. story -.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hughes and Gracia had been invited to an 'adults only' wedding for a family member on Gracia's side, so obviously Elisia couldn't come with. Ed had been coerced into babysitting. Though really, he liked watching Elisha and an afternoon and evening with the kid always made him feel warm inside. He suspected Hughes knew that and that was why he insisted Ed watch her.

He arrived on time and Elisia was glad to see him. Though by accident or design, Ed thought the later, Mustang thought the former; Hughes had forgotten that he'd asked Mustang to watch Elisia as well several months earlier.

Their initial confrontation had been quite epic, Ed claiming Elisia didn't need a pervert around, Mustang claiming that neither Elisia nor Ed would be able to reach the stove to cook dinner. Only when Elisia, misreading the conversation, volunteered to watch herself because she was a very big girl and knew how to work the phone, did they decided to call a draw.

So here they were, two hours into the afternoon and finally relaxed in their roles as babysitters. Mustang was taking a break on the couch as Ed continued to play Elisia's toy train game. When Elisia went to run her train under the chair, Ed sat back smiling calmly then sadly and subconsciously put a hand on his abdomen. Elisia came back around the corner and they went back to playing.

It had been a discrete motion but the General had noticed. He noticed lots of things; and now he was confused. And since he didn't like being confused he decided to avoid confrontation by continuing to watch Ed, albeit a hell of a lot closer.

Three hours later it was time for dinner. Mustang had only ascertained more intel on what he already knew. Ed was thin, lithe, and agile. He was also very delicate with Elisia. Not that anyone wouldn't be, but just something about it…

"Mustang!"

He snapped out of it.

"You're in charge of making dinner since you think i can't reach the stove. Insult backfired- !" Ed bit his tongue to avoid swearing in front of their charge, and Mustang had been too lost in thought to figure out a ploy to get out of cooking.

He headed to the kitchen to start dinner and Elisia helped while Ed sat back and put his feet up in triumph. Though Mustang knew it wouldn't be long until Ed felt guilty and joined them. Four minutes exactly as it turned out. Ed didn't say anything and accompanied them in their quest for pots and pans.

Roy had a plan. He asked Ed to reach the tall things knowing that Ed was sensitive to height, knowing that he'd end up getting angry instead of paying attention to how exposed his stomach was while he was reaching. Mustang was calculating.

On the third tall item, Ed finally realised something was up and caught Mustang looking. Immediately realising the dangerousness of the situation he moved to the side to hide the cloth wrap under his shirt and refused to grab any more high items.

It was suspicious, if there was nothing wrong, why was he hiding. More suspicious than that was the nervousness Ed showed now that he knew Mustang had been watching.

The General was quiet all through dinner and Ed only got jumpier and jumpier.

Mustang tried to think of alternatives. Ed could have been rubbing his stomach and thinking about a disappointing lunch he just had. He could just be super careful with children. He could have cut himself on a mission and just never told his superior about it and wrapped it himself. He could be short because he was the runt of the family. He could just hate hospitals because everyone hates hospitals. These were all good explanations, even if they didn't cover why Ed's waist was just that little bit curvier, and why he was currently a ball of nerves and wouldn't meet Mustang's eyes. But no matter which way you flipped it, when you put all these thoughts together, it was an interesting amount of evidence.

After dinner Ed took Elisia to the living room and found a programme on the radio to listen to before bed. Mustang was left with the dishes.

The radio was a good move, no talking, no moving. Ed wouldn't reveal any more cards easily. Mustang joined in afterward and Ed realised that Mustang didn't care what they were listening to; choosing instead to barrel ahead with conversation.

"So Ed, after all this babysitting, you ever going to have kids?"

Ed narrowed his eyes. "I don't think so."

Mustang was a bit surprised, "You mean you wouldn't want your own darling Elisia?"

Hearing her name the girl chimed in, possibly even thinking she was defending Ed. "Daddy said Ed can't have children." Ed's face filled with terror but he wasn't fast enough to stop the girl. "His ut-er-us was broken when he got his arm back." She turned to Ed, "It's ok Ed. You can play with me anytime!"

Mustang's triumph at figuring out the secret lasted only a millisecond before he was horrified by the reality of the situation.

Time stopped. Elisia, correctly assuming that adults were weird, went back to listening to her show. Uninterested in the events unfolding behind her.

Ed sat frozen. She'd locked her face into an indifferent frown. She refused to look at him. She didn't want his sympathy, she didn't want his pity, and she most definitely was not going to run away.

Mustang was gaping at her. No words coming to him. He had absolutely no idea how to handle this situation. Normally you could give hugs and condolences, but this was Ed and only an hour ago he'd been sure she was a boy.

The silence ticked by and though Mustang had recovered enough to stop staring at Ed and closed his mouth, he still had no idea what to say.

The Hughes' arrived home and Ed turned into smiles and stories of the day's adventures. Maes and Gracia were engulfed in Ed and Elisia's boisterousness and didn't notice Mustang until after Ed had said her goodbyes and left. They could immediately tell something was wrong.

Elisia picked up on the situation and again decided to help the only way children know how to help; abruptly.

"Uncle Roy is sad for Ed because he found out Ed can't have children."

Maes realised his daughter had spilled the beans and ushered Roy outside to talk.

Roy followed.

"I'm sorry you found out like this. Ed was supposed to tell you herself."

Roy looked at him, "How long have you known?"

Hughes sighed, "Gracia was visiting a friend in the hospital when Ed was brought in after her arm was returned. Ed asked her to stay when the doctor brought the news."

It made sense, if you had even an idea that that news was coming, you'd want a friend. "What should I do?"

"Well, you look pretty guilty. So maybe try apologising."

Roy stood up to leave, he had been provoking her.

"Thanks Maes. Please say goodnight to Elisia for me. I'll come by next weekend to visit her again."

Roy left the house deep in thought and it took about three blocks before he realised he had a shadow. He spun, ready to defend himself.

There was Ed. Waiting. Watching.

He dropped his guard. "Ed. I'm so sorry."

She slugged him, left handed, directly in the side of the head. Her strongest arm since her right was returned and he dropped like a stone. She put her boot on his throat and leaned in, "I don't want your pity, so stay the fuck out of my personal life." She stepped back and glared as he rolled to a sitting position and tried to settle his rattled brain and regain his breath. He still had no desire to fight.

"I'm sorry you don't trust me enough to tell me the things you should be able to tell your superior officer."

She snorted at him. "Superior my ass. Useless wet match." She seemed less mad at least. Though that didn't stop her from clapping and turning the earth around him into prison bars. "Eat shit jackass." He watched her walk away, leaving him trapped. Maybe Hughes would come out to check up on him and he wouldn't have to spend the whole night stuck here.