The next few weeks pass at a dizzying pace, as I become accustomed to the daily routines of Circle life. We get up an hour after dawn, we get dressed, and we go to the dining hall for breakfast, led in two lines by Miss Filia and Miss Daphne. After breakfast we go back to the dorm, brush our teeth and make our beds. Then we go to our classroom, where we have classes until lunchtime. Then we go to the dining hall for lunch, and then either physical exercise time or library time in the afternoon. Then we have a couple of hours to do whatever we like after we've taken our bath, and then we go to the dining hall again for dinner. After dinner we can do whatever we like as long as we stay in the dormitory, until bedtime which is two hours after dinner.

The only change to this routine is going to Chantry instead of our normal classes on Sundays. The chantry chapel isn't nearly big enough to host all the towers' inhabitants at once, so there are two Chantry services; the morning one is for the apprentices, the mages and the enchanters, and the evening one is for the senior enchanters and off-duty templars, who also have an optional service on Saturdays. Templars are really keen on Chantry services.

Apart from special celebration days, this routine is pretty strict, especially for apprentices who haven't reached the age of majority, so the time I can spend with Neria is limited, but we make the most of it; we can sit together at mealtimes and at chantry, and she'll visit the library during library time to recommend reading material to me.

I'm also starting to learn more about the individual residents of this Circle. Jowan has a crush on someone, but no-one knows who, and Ser Cullen, who everyone secretly calls Ser Noodles because of his very curly yellow hair, has a crush on Neria. I haven't had a chance to ask Neria what she thinks about the latter, though. Orla accidentally singed enchanter Dwayne's beard with a fire spell, and one of the chantry brothers had to leave because his mother is ill. Everyone knows everyone else's news, because we're all here, all the time.

Right now, Orla is filling me in on the latest murmurings, because they're about Jowan.

"Imogen said that the templars are saying that Jowan is a blood mage," she whispers the last two words.

"What's a blood mage?" I whisper back.

"Someone who does blood magic, obviously," Orla rolls her eyes as she shoves her pillow into a clean pillowcase.

"Which is… what?"

Orla pauses. "Actually, I don't really know. But I don't think we're supposed to know, anyway. It's evil, and I'm guessing it has something to do with blood. Only bad mages use it."

"Right. But I know Jowan, he's not a bad person. And anyway, how would Imogen know?"

"Ser Jaffer must have told her."

"Who's Ser Jaffer?"

"The templar Imogen is, you know…"

"Oh."

"Exactly."

"Kissing."

"Don't say it out loud!"

I try unsuccessfully to dodge the newly-dressed pillow aimed at my head. We finish making our beds in silence, and join the line-up at the door for migrating to the breakfast hall.

"The Circle exists to make sure we all become good mages, right?" I begin, after being lost in consideration for the past few minutes.

"Yeah?"

"But what happens if there's a bad mage already in the Circle? Like, for example if someone was a… you-know-what mage, what would happen? Would the templars kill them?"

"Maybe," Orla shrugged. "Or they would become Tranquil."

"Become Tranquil?"

"Yeah. The templars do something to them that makes them, you know, like how the Tranquil are."

"I just thought they were born like that, like how we were born with magic."

"Nah. I don't know how they do it, but I've heard dangerous mages can become Tranquil."

"Does that mean the Tranquil are dangerous?"

"You've met them, do you think they're dangerous?" Orla scoffs at my suggestion.

"I think the more I learn about magic, the less I understand about magic."

"Agreed."

That afternoon, I spot Jowan in the library. I latch onto his sleeve. "Jowannnn?" I start. Jowan glances at me from his book. "Faellaaathiiii?" he mimics my about-to-ask-for-something tone.

"Can you tell me about something?" I ask.

"Mm? Tell you about what?"

"How does someone become Tranquil?"

Jowan closes his book suddenly, alarmed. "Why are you asking something like that?"

I shrug. "I just don't get how it works. Me and Orla were talking about blood mages, and then she said they can become Tranquil, andI just thought they were born like that, but apparently it's something templars do to mages that turn bad. Is it?"

Jowan's mouth opens and closes a couple of times, like he's not sure where to begin. "Uh, well, you've met the Tranquil, haven't you? You've seen what they're like?"

"Yeah. They're not very emotional, and they just kind of do things, without chatting or anything."

"Right, well that's because when mages become Tranquil, their connection to the Fade is cut off. They lose their magic abilities and their ability to dream, along with their emotions."

Cut. Off? I suddenly feel very cold.

Jowan must have been unnerved by my reaction because he rushes through the rest of his explanation. "Sometimes mages who don't want to undergo the Harrowing will ask to be made Tranquil, it's not just as a punishment for bad mages, as you say. But you do lose your, how would you call it, your individuality? Your interests, your feelings, things like that."

Lose my feelings? Lose everything that makes me, me? Why would anyone ask for that?

Jowan looks worried. "Fae? Are you alright?"

"Why would anyone ask for that? To be made Tranquil?" I whisper, horrified. "Is the Harrowing that bad?"

Jowan shakes his head. "I don't really know, I'm still an apprentice so I haven't gone through a Harrowing either. But when it's time, apprentices can ask to be made Tranquil instead."

"Why?"

"Well, because, not everyone survives the Harrowing."

"What?"

"Listen, it's nothing you need to worry about anytime soon. Most apprentices don't undertake their Harrowing until they're at least my age, and it's not that uncommon for apprentices to never undertake their Harrowing if their mentors don't think they're ready."

"Does that mean you, or Neria, could die?!"

"I-I mean, technically anyone can die Fae, we're all mortal, that's part of life—wait, Fae, I'm sorry if I scared you, let me explain it better!"

I don't want to hear anymore. I just want Neria.