Set in S13-ish. Or 14. You do the math, I have no idea what the timeline is after S11.


Since the love that you left is all that I get


Miranda Bailey was furious. No, she was stressed. She was furiously stressed. She promised herself that even if she was chief, she'd make time for surgery. She was, after all, the chief of surgery.

She strode down the walkway, trying and failing to reach any of the general surgeons who work for her to take over her lap chole scheduled in two hours, but no one seemed to want to answer their phones today, not even her head of the department. Apparently, a budget meeting superseded her job as a doctor.

"Karev!" she barked after spotting him with his eyes glued to a chart as his silly intern followed suit. "Where the hell is Grey? She's not picking up."

"Oh, uh," he looked at his watch nervously then to his intern, ears perking up and looking nosy as ever. "It's…It's the 23rd of May, Chief," Alex stammered back to his boss in a low solemn voice, who irritatedly looked back at him as if that was any explanation.

"It's his birthday."

Miranda's facial expression softened, swallowing hard as she removed the phone from her ear, ending the call she had repeatedly attempted to make yet.

She cleared her throat soberly, suddenly feeling worse than she already had. "Right. It must've slipped my mind…Carry on," she dismissed as she quickly walked away, leaving Alex dejected, reminding him he didn't know how to cheer anyone up when it came to reliving the loss they all shared.

She walked into her office and sat on her chair frustratedly, head suddenly pounding. The least she could do was give up a minute on this day. A minute to think about her friend, a man she missed dearly. A minute to pray for his wife and three kids.

She sighed, taking that minute before she had to rush down, calling April Kepner out of the pit to be her stand-in Grey for the day.


"Honey, please don't go too far," she called out, hoping her voice didn't get lost in the fervent breeze that blew their way. Satisfied when the little boy waved back in acknowledgment, Meredith sat back on the bench nearby, soaking up the sun's bright rays as they shone down on the deck of the ferry boat.

The loud horn blew, making the toddler in her arms clap in delight and burst out into giggles. Meredith laughed as Ellis tried to imitate the sound that the boat had just elicited.

"Mama," the little two-year-old grinned, "On a boat!"

"Yeah we are, baby," her mother beamed. Ellis could talk in sem-full sentences now, and while she like to flawlessly repeat the same 50 or so words that she knew, her facial expressions were full range. "Do you love it?"

She nodded understandingly, pointing to the railings. "Go!"

Ellis loved ferryboats. It was uncanny, really, the things she takes after the father she's never met. Her eyes, her smile, her temper, her unbridled love for giant noisy boats that cross the bay. Sometimes, it made her warm and tingly, but sometimes it made her heartbreak for the incredible man she'll never get to know.

"Okay, let's go," Meredith repeated while settling her on her two legs, gripping her hand knowing her little girl liked trotting away on her wobbly feet every chance she got. They walked towards the edge, towards the tip of the boat while Zola and Bailey chased each other nearby.

The whole deck was almost completely empty credit to the fact that it was midday. Meredith felt the need to take this day off every year now, even if it meant having to pull her kids out of school and dropping her surgeries onto another doctor. They all needed this.

She lifted Ellis up and her little legs instinctively secured around Meredith's waist. The little girl eagerly craned her neck, pushing on her skinny mother's shoulder to lift herself up. She was getting heavier.

"Mama, look! Look!" she shrieked as her little blue eyes took in the expanse of the Seattle skyline. She probably doesn't remember that her mother took her here last year too. "Zo! Bay!"

The two other kids' ears perked up and ran towards their mother and sister, pausing their game of tag/hide-and-seek/chase. They gave each other side-glances as they walked lightly, then their beady eyes turned it into a race, almost knocking Meredith over when each of them ran to hug a leg.

"Woah, okay, okay," she laughed as Zola and Bailey once again chased each other around her legs, trying not to drop Ellie. "Calm down, little monkeys."

Meredith settled on the bench as she put Ellis down, Zola immediately securing her little sister's hand and telling her not to let go.

Meredith loved her life. Her children were so beautiful. They were intelligent and playful. They were funny and protective of her and each other. She couldn't help but beam with pride as she watched the two older siblings watch over the little one.

"Are we going home, Mama?" Zola perked, pointing towards Bainbridge Island as soon as a faint memory had appeared in her head. They used to ride the ferry to a bigger house in the woods.

"No, Zozo. We don't live there anymore," she smiled sadly. "We're just riding the boat today. Enjoying the sun and air. You guys love doing that, don't you?"

They nodded eagerly and cheered. Playing and frolicking around as Meredith watched them with a perpetual smile on her face. It was days like these, looking at them like they were scenes in a movie, that reminded her how much of Derek lives on. How much of him was still with her. How their children were perfect mixes of the two of them.

That all that she gets is the love that he left behind. The love alive in the form of two gorgeous girls and one dashing little boy.

They played for a couple hours, never running out of energy to bounce all over the boat. They ate the lunch that their mom packed. They looked through the viewfinders, went to the different decks, and frolicked through passenger areas. When they had finally had enough, they got out once they docked in Seattle.

"Okay, you ready?" Meredith asked as she put the car in park, looking at the three kids in their respective car seats.

"Yeah!" the two older ones cheered knowingly as the little one eagerly followed along, bouncing.

She carried Ellie along her hip as the two trotted forward, Bailey trying to hold the box that he carried firmly with both his hands as he followed Zola.

Before Meredith even made it to their destination, Zola already sat in front of the large gravestone, laying down the white and lilac flowers that she had chosen, arranging the bunch neatly to lay against it. Her brother sat beside her obediently, pursing his lips and thinking more about the contents of his package.

"Now, Mama?" he raised his head to flash his sparkling baby blues at Meredith, grinning.

"Go ahead, baby," she laughed as she squatted on the grass beside them, settling Ellis comfortably leaning against her torso.

Bailey practically drooled as he opened the box of cupcakes he held, plucking one out and ready to take a bite before Zola stopped him. "We gotta wish daddy a happy birthday first, Bay."

The blond boy thought for a second and nodded, taking out a singular thin candle from the box and sticking it in the middle of his treat before holding it out to Meredith.

She smiled as she rummaged through her purse to take out the lighter she brought with her this morning and lit the wick, her kids happily singing to greet their father a happy birthday in an off-tune key.

She kept silent as she watched them clapping, having to light it again so they each could take a turn to blow it out. Something about birthday candles that enchanted children, even if it wasn't their birthday.

Zola, Bailey, and Ellis each held a cupcake in their hand, happily and quite messily snacking on the frosting as they babbled on and on and on about everything and nothing. Their sweet innocence not really taking in the gravity of sitting at their father's grave. Especially Ellis who, as far as she was concerned, was at the park having a picnic.

1966. She read the expensively engraved headstone again and laughed lightly to herself. You would've been 51, old man.

Happy birthday, Derek.

"Mama?" Ellis reached up to show her her vanilla cupcake, offering her some.

"Yeah! Have some, momma," Zola stood to shove her own strawberry one near Meredith's mouth, laughing at how she was trying to evade the treats they were quite literally shoving into her face.

"No, thank you," she squealed as they all rose up to smear colorful frosting on her pursed lips, a mix of chocolatey-vanilla-strawberry goodness swiped all over her face as they were on her children's clothes.

"Bailey!" she whined in giggles as her son joined in, trying to use her baby as a shield, who only giggled when more sugar landed on her own face.

Their kids only seemed even more amused the more their mother tried to dodge their confection affection, and all their belly laughs echoed throughout the silent cemetery, the wind softly humming as the sun shone directly on the quad of the Shepherd family.

There were days when sometimes she'd think that this was it. He was gone. Really gone. Nights, mostly. But then Zola would climb in her bed or Bailey would ask for a story or Ellis would cry for her to be soothed, and then she'd feel it.

He's in his children, and they were very real. He was here. He is here.

Hovering, taking it all in with her.