Chapter Eleven: Anti-Oblivion

Motes.

Endless motes flittered and danced around me, tiny specks against a sea of infinite darkness. The expanse was all-consuming, no matter where my eyes drifted, all I could find was the ever-threatening darkness – even as I closed my eyes, motes and darkness filled my non-vision. As if on some base instinct, I reached out – somehow finding my body weightless and listless – until my fingertip lightly tapped against a nearby flickering light. As my finger made contact, the mote shied away.

Then in a burst of blinding light, my vision was filled with white; as quickly as it started, the light died and I found myself in a new location: inside my room in Vault 100. Yet, it didn't feel the same as it once did; the light hum from the lights, the odd smells, and the shuffling of footfalls milling about the place were all absent. Something was off.

I try to take a step forward, yet my feet don't respond. After a couple more attempts, I give up and instead opt to take a look around the room. Everything looks close to the way I left it when I left. Even my bed is messily made.

How am I here?

Then I see it: a sludge (darker than even the endless expanse known as the night) oozing about the place, slowly consuming whatever it rolls over. It doesn't take note of me, instead focusing on finding every nook and cranny of the room. Nothing it touches remains, it all vanishes within the ooze, and then the thing grows in size. After some time, it has devoured everything, leaving only myself and the ever-growing darkness. It then turns its eyes on me – even if it doesn't have eyes, I can somehow sense it.

But before it can move toward me, my vision fills with white once more, and I find myself standing in the raider camp not far from the Vault. There is no one around, and even though there is a fire crackling in the pit, no sound is produced. There isn't even any smoke.

Once more, I try to move, and to my shock I take a step. Then another. And another. One after the next, I move around the camp. It looks exactly the same as it did the other day, when we left it.

Why am I here?

As before, though, I see the black ooze. It's massive, yet dripping down from the night sky. Suddenly, it swoops down in one fell motion and consumes the entire camp in a single moment.

It then springs forth toward me, but the blinding light fills my vision once again. I find myself in the train yard, box cars litter the area, yet it, too, looks the same as the day I left it; except that there are no bodies, living or dead.

What is happening?

I don't even have the time to gather my thoughts before I spot the first major difference: Muck, the giant mass of muscle and pain, mindlessly tramples about, as if there isn't any sort of sentience. I try to move, but like the first time, I can't move. I watch in horror as the ooze climbs through the earth below and swallow up everything before me. I'd scream out if I could. Muck doesn't appear to have any cares, worries, or doubts as the black monster envelops his entire frame.

After feasting upon it all, the monster turns its attention to me. Now, the monster easily fills my whole vision without even trying. In one swift motion, it shoots toward me. The light fills my vision once again, but not before the ooze gobbles up my left arm up to the elbow. Pain radiates through my body, as if a trillion needles all try to escape from beneath my skin at the same time.

Just like that, I found myself standing in the big structure, where we should currently be – I believe. Unless something happened and we aren't there any longer. I could no longer be certain what's going on around me. But the pain is gone. Yet, once my mind returns to my surroundings, I notice something different. This place doesn't look like it did last time I saw it.

It looks clean and in a state of repair, like my old home. The walls show no sign of aging, the floor looks sturdy, and even the terminals on the rotund desk in the center look shiny and sparkly. The major difference, though, is a large, hard looking, tri-wheeled monster shuffling about the place; on either side, two large arms of what could only be gun barrels jut out, giving off an impression of extreme danger.

I stare at the mechanical creature as it rolls around, eventually I get the inkling to touch it. I couldn't begin to understand where that feeling came from, but it was all my mind could think about. So I attempt to take a step forward, and my foot falls. Then another. I draw near the creature, and reach out with my right arm and as my finger glides closer I notice something is off. The walls which were once a sickly green, have turned an ominous black. Before I can react, the ooze closes in from all sides.

I'm devoured.

Pain courses through my body for a split second, again. But then it's over and I'm left feeling numb. I no longer feel my body. I'm surrounded by nothingness. A deep, dark black as far as the eye can't see.

I can't help but be amused, yet I don't even know why. I should be feeling terrified, horrified. But, no. Even as the only thing I can feel is my consciousness amongst the void, the one thing I feel is… apathy? Like, this isn't my problem. Perhaps, then, it isn't, right?

Why?

What?

No. No, this is my problem. It doesn't matter who – or what – is happening. I have to deal with it. I have to press on. I have to move forward. Otherwise, what am I doing?

As I become lost in thought, the void darkens. If I still happen to have a body, I'd no longer be able to see my nose.

Perhaps, then, it doesn't matter what I do? Maybe nothing I do will have any meaning. I mean, what am I even doing here? Where is here? I must be inside the ooze, but what even is it?

Before I can dwell on those thoughts, I find my surroundings have changed. I'm now kneeling (?!) in a dirty room of a place I've never seen. Part of the wall has crumbled, revealing the next room. Before me is a sight so horrific, that my face warps as I feel tears begin to trickle down my cheeks and my eyes grow wide. Inside, I see—

I'm shaken awake, my eyes slowly open as the light above fills my vision. I feel sweaty, sore, and a sense of dread fills my entire being. Hovering above me is a worried Addison, she's got her hands grasped on my shoulders. She's saying something, but I can't understand her. I close my eyes again.

Even as they open again, I find Addison desperately trying to say something, but I can't hear her. I can't feel her hands on my shoulders, but if I look I can plainly see her hands firmly grasping them. All I can feel is the slow trickle of tears run down and drip from my chin, then splash against the back of my hand. I close my eyes once more.

Why am I crying?

Then I feel a sharp pain against my cheek and a voice fills the air, "Please, get a hold of yourself!"

I blink a few times and then bring a hand to my cheek, rubbing it a few times as I look at Addison. Her features seem tired, exhausted, as if she is now running on fumes. I look around for my notebook, but it's nowhere to be found. So I grab Addison's wrist and pull myself toward her, she doesn't have time to react and I pull her into an embrace.

"Whaa!" she exclaims, but after a moment she seems to realize what's happening. Even if reluctantly, she applies a gentle pressure as she wraps her arms around me. A calming warmth spreads through my mind, and I feel myself calming down.

I bury my face into her shoulder, and let myself relax for the first time since leaving the Vault. It's as if a weight is lifted from my shoulders. As if a haze is washed away. I feel clear, and focused. After an eternity, Addison's hands reach up to my shoulders and carefully, kindly pry me away from her.

Her eyes are still filled with worry, "Are you alright now?"

I nod once, and a warm smile spreads across my lips. I feel renewed. Determined. Ready for anything. Not far behind Addison, I spot Blake, Anton, and Kyle all geared up. I must have been asleep for a long while. I crawl out from under the desk, and rise to my feet. Atop the desk, I spot my bag and gear.

While I'd like to bathe and clean off the sweat, I know that isn't likely to happen for some time; so I grab my things and suit up. As Addison stands, I step toward her and pull her into another hug. She seems just as startled the second time as she was during the first one.

-Message Corrupted-

-Addison will remember that-