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Chapter Five: The Daughter of Time
With a poorly disguised tremble in her hands, Lily opened the headmaster's door and stepped into the office. From the moment Mary McDonald had handed her Dumbledore's summons, she'd been under no doubt it was about her underage magic. Thus she had been rehearsing exactly what she was going to say, how she was going to say it and when. Alas, now she was under the spotlight of the old man's piercing blue eyes, all her prior planning fell away and took flight through the nearest window. Instead, as her heartbeat raced, a torrent of words suddenly fell from her lips: "Professor, I'm so very sorry I thought you needed me to do magic in London because that's what Severus said and we didn't know the ministry would turn up so soon because it had something to do with the trace and … and … and-"
"Lily, Lily, Lily!" Dumbledore rose to his feet, hand raised for silence. "Dear girl, you are not in any trouble. The ministry has been dealt with and we need say no more on the matter. Please, take a seat."
Relief washed over her, a smile returning to her face brought on by the assurance that she wasn't facing expulsion. Or the dementors. But her knees still felt weak as she walked the long walk to Dumbledore's desk and took the seat he had motioned toward. Once settled, she drew a deep breath to compose herself, noticing the new addition to the office's décor as she did so. A large, stone basin lined with runes, the contents of which shimmered pearly silver in the semi-darkness. "I hope I didn't get you into trouble with the Ministry, professor."
The Headmaster chuckled. "Even if you had, there's nothing quite like a bit of trouble with the Ministry to get and old man's blood pumping. No, the reason I brought you here is, if you would be so kind, that I would like a memory from you."
"Certainly, professor. What do you need to know?"
"Ah, I should have been clearer. I would like to take the memory and study it," he said, his tone as kindly as ever. "It will be returned to you straight away."
Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "You mean, literally take a memory out of my head?"
"Only for a moment. Once I have examined it, you can have it straight back. You can join me, if you like?"
Suddenly burning with curiosity, Lily gave an eager nod. "Please, professor. How do we do it? Do you play it back and watch it like a TV programme, or something?" She wished she had something besides a muggle contraption to compare it with, but she had no other frame of reference.
Although, when Dumbledore laughed it was gently done. "In my, admittedly very limited experience with televisions, I suppose you're not entirely incorrect. Now, what I need you to do, is focus on when you visited Severus the day he woke up. Start with your arrival and fix it in your mind. I will extract the memory and we will study it in the pensieve."
As he spoke, he rounded the desk and drew his wand. Lily did as asked, fixing on the exact moment she arrived, approaching the hospital wing from the corridor beyond, just as she felt the wand touching her temple. It was an unnerving feeling. The wand left her temple, teasing out a trailing, silver thread as she physically felt the memory being sucked out of her head. A mild sensation, but bizarre in the way that the images in her head seemed to stretch and distort as they left her.
Once done, she watched in fascination as Dumbledore dropped the memory into the bowl she noticed earlier. He drew out other threads of memory already in the pensieve until only her own remained. Then he turned to her and beckoned her over. "Bend over the bowl, and you will feel yourself being drawn into the memory. Don't be alarmed."
Despite all her years experimenting with and learning about magic, her common sense still told her she would only hit the bottom of the stone bowl. Instead, however, she felt herself being pulled inexorably inwards, turned in a strange mid-ether somersault before she landed deftly in the corridor outside the hospital wing just at the precise moment a red haired girl came hurrying past.
"I'm so sorry!" she leapt out of the way. The girl ignored her and Lily felt her face grow red. "Oh wait, that's me."
"The first time is always very strange, Lily. Don't be embarrassed." Dumbledore had landed soundlessly beside her, just as she had apologised to her memory self. "We need to follow you."
It was surreal. Lily watched herself easing the hospital doors open, careful not to make too much noise in case she woke any patients. She hurried in case the doors closed again before she and Dumbledore could catch up, only for her to walk straight through them as though she were a ghost.
"Madam Pomfrey, has there been any change?" her memory asked.
The School Nurse was magically folding towels and pyjamas, but paused to reply: "I'm afraid not, dear. His breathing is getting shallower and more ragged. It is not a good sign."
Both turned to look at the only occupied bed, where Severus lay motionless and lost to the world. Memory Lily approached the bed, unknowingly mirroring Dumbledore who moved to stand opposite her. Real Lily joined him, wondering why he was studying Severus so intently. Memory Lily was restless, eventually getting up to close the curtains around the bed just for something to do, before returning to her seat. Dumbledore was leaning in close to Severus, seemingly studying every aspect of his features.
"Professor," Lily was watching Severus's shallow, irregular breaths. "Sev should've died, shouldn't he?"
"Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that."
Just then, Severus gave a jolt and a gasp. Real Lily had forgotten this moment, driven out of her head by what happened a few moments later. But when she looked at Dumbledore, he seemed satisfied. "There it is," he said. "That's the moment."
"He wakes up in a few minutes."
And so he did. Slowly, as if the boy in the bed was fighting the constraints of his unconsciousness, an arm moved. His hand grasped the edge of his bedsheet. Eyelids twitched and fluttered, just as Severus muttered his first words. Her memory clasped his hand, her eyes filling with tears. "Severus … Sev, can you hear me?"
"Now listen carefully," said Dumbledore.
She remembered most of it anyway. A lot of it she had been ruminating on ever since. But reliving it like this refreshed her memory, returning the little details she thought she had forgotten, things she had missed altogether in her relief that her dearest friend had regained consciousness. She watched, all over again, as Severus regained his wits and asked strange questions and stammered out a story so bizarre she had palmed it off as nothing more than a fever dream.
"The Dark Lord," said Severus. "He set Nagini on me … he thought he would master the Elder Wand without me in the way."
"What snake, Sev? There was no snake…" Her memory instantly dismissed the story.
Lily looked to Dumbledore who was absorbed in the conversation. He didn't even move as Severus, panicking, leapt out of bed and ran straight through him. On the contrary, it seemed like Dumbledore was trying to notice something different about Severus. Memory Lily ran to Severus just as a mirror broke and Pomfrey came rushing back to the ward, her jaw hitting her chest as she saw Severus up and about just minutes after she declared him as good as dead.
When this happened for real, she had been too preoccupied with her own worry and confusion to notice that Severus himself seemed like a stunned fox, caught in the headlights. She watched herself putting him back to bed as Dumbledore leaned in close and said: "That'll do."
She found herself being drawn upwards, reverse somersaulting out of the pensieve and back into Dumbledore's office. Breathing raggedly, she watched as Dumbledore straightened himself out. "Thank you, Miss Evans. That was most enlightening." He drew the memory out of the pensieve so that it dangled from his wand like a loose hair. "Relax and empty your mind, please."
That was easier said than done after what she'd just seen, but Dumbledore eased the gossamer thread back into her head with no trouble. Once that was done, she stumbled at the edge of speech for a moment, before screwing up her courage and plunging on regardless. "Why did you need to see that, professor?"
"I do rather owe you and explanation. Please, sit."
She took the same seat as before and watched the Headmaster settle himself on the other side of the desk. Behind him, the portraits of his predecessors were listening in intently. Heedless of them, Dumbledore said, "what did you notice about your memory that you missed before?"
Lily thought for a second. "That jolt – you know, just before Sev came round. I thought it was a muscle spasm, then forgot about it. But it was more than that, wasn't it? In that moment, something happened to him."
"Yes, I think so too. I think Severus Snape was returning from a very long journey indeed."
"Does You Know Who have a pet snake? And a powerful wand? I've never heard of an Elder Wand."
She knew she had pried too far but Dumbledore, as ever, was kind about it. "That is a story for another day, Miss Evans. But you picked up on the most important points, things I would like you to keep in mind as we learn more about what Severus has been through and what that means for Lord Voldemort."
"Professor, this journey, as you call it, that Severus has been on," she continued unflinching and steady. "I died along the way, didn't I"
The old man's face darkened with regret. Nor could he quite meet her eye. "Had I known Severus said that, I might have thought twice about bringing you."
"I remember it anyway. I've been thinking about it ever since," she assured him. She paused, composing herself for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. "Professor, I had noticed that Severus seems different now. After yesterday, when I saw the magic he was doing and the absence of a trace – it's clear a lot has changed."
"And I would never insult your intelligence by suggesting otherwise, Lily," Albus replied. "But you must understand, whatever Severus experienced, you are very much alive and breathing … and fighting. Whatever is going on, we will figure it out. We will get to the truth. And truth, as they say, is the daughter of time."
It all began when Severus lied to save James Potter. That was what struck Lily as odd, at first, a sign that something wasn't quite right. Now it was everything else. Reality felt like it was shifting beneath her feet. Like the walls of the castle were warping to accommodate new realities and perceptions. It was a strange feeling that Lily could not quite put her finger on. And as one question seemed to be answered, it only gave rise to a dozen more. Now this hydra of a mystery loomed before her, emerging from the shadows of her mind. But she was not afraid.
"Time is a complex matter. Realities can change, break off and reconverge to create an entirely new reality. Pull a single thread from a tapestry and you change the whole scene. What seems set in stone can be chipped away over time," said Dumbledore. He was looking her in the eye now, steady and even admiringly "What Severus knows can be used to alter the course of a fate that seems immutable in its finality. But he is clever and powerful. And you, Miss Lily Evans, are an extraordinarily courageous young woman. Working together, you could change everything."
Her brow creased, face flushing slightly at the unearned compliment. "Thank you."
"Now, I have taken too much of your time. But if you could be so kind as to dig that boy out of the Room of Requirement and send him into me, I would be eternally grateful. Seventh floor, pace the corridor three times and repeat in your head that you need to find Severus Snape and that should do it."
Questions swarmed her mind, but Lily recognised that no amount of chipping away at time would change the fact that she was dismissed. Besides, the thing that hovered at the edge of her mind remained there. Not quite certain she was yet ready for the full truth, yet the question dwelled there all the same – just what had happened to Severus? Eventually, she rose to her feet. An hour ago, she had walked through that door trembling at the prospect of expulsion or a succession of detentions that would last until she was thirty. Now she walked back out, resolute and firm. She was not a nervous schoolgirl any more.
The sound of the door appearing in the stone wall jolted Severus out of his reverie. He leapt off his bed and onto his feet, wand at the ready as the double oak doors groaned on their hinges. Every sinew in his body as taut as a bowstring, he backed himself against the wall until a familiar voice called out: "Wow! What is this place?" Lily looked around in wonder as she stepped around the door. "Sev, what are you doing in here?"
"It's the Room of Requirement," he said, releasing a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. "How did you get in? No one's supposed to be able to get in here."
"Dumbledore told me." She flopped down on the bed, running her hands over the eiderdown as though checking it was real. "Is it just a spare bedroom? For guests?"
"It's whatever you need it to be," he answered. "If you need a haven, it'll be that. If you need an Olympic swimming pool, it'll transfigure into that. Most people just use it to hide stuff in though. Illicit stuff, contraband – all the evidence of anything else they shouldn't have."
Sitting bolt upright, an impish grin lit up her face. "If I paced up and down thinking about how I need to find all the stuff people have hidden in here, I'd be able to find it?"
Severus shrugged. "Probably. What're we doing, anyway? I'm bored."
"Don't be, you have a fun packed day ahead," she said, reaching into her pocket as she got off the bed. She produced a note. "This is from McGonagall, you're in detention this evening."
He took the slip of parchment and rolled his eyes. "Great."
"And Dumbledore wants you now." She approached him, sunlight falling across her face as she closed the gap between them. Her expression turned serious as she placed her hand over his heart, pressing her palm softly into his pulse. "We studied my memory. Of when you woke up."
"That was only four days ago," he said. "Why?"
"I don't know for sure, but I think I'm starting to get the idea." She looked up at him, her green eyes flashing emerald in the sunlight. "And if my idea is broadly accurate, I want you to know I'll be with you every step of the way. That when you're ready to talk, just send the word and I'll be here. Now go. Dumbledore's waiting and it's nearly dinnertime. And then I want to play with this room."
Lily followed him outside and down the corridor beyond. Down the marble stairs, where they separated as she went toward the Gryffindor common room and he to the Headmaster's office. A minute later, he gave up the password and was being ushered into Dumbledore's office within half a heartbeat.
"Sir," he said by way of greeting. The pensieve was still set out beside the desk, emptied of memories. Turning his gaze from it to Dumbledore, he found the Headmaster regarding him carefully over the rim of his spectacles. "Lily said you wished to see me."
"Quite correct. Please, sit yourself down."
He slid the detention slip into his back pocket and crossed the room. "Professor McGonagall is expecting me at six."
"I promise, I shan't keep you as long as that," said Dumbledore. "I trust Miss Evans briefed you of our meeting this morning?"
Severus nodded. "Yes, sir. You needed to examine her memory."
"You could see it happening, Severus, the precise moment you returned," said Dumbledore. "It gave you an awful jolt, knocked the breath back into you. But how? That's what I don't understand. And I pray you forgive my prying, but I did take the liberty of trying to look up the sleeve of your jacket to see the mark appearing on your arm. It was barely visible, but it was there after that jolt."
Albus was on his feet again, pacing slowly, his face contorted in concentration. This conundrum was confusing him, a sensation Albus Dumbledore, with his all powerful brain, was not intimately acquainted with. Severus could see that it was causing him almost physical discomfort. "Surely, the hows and the whys can be left until later?"
"Yes. Yes, of course. And I did bring you here to pick your memory as well," said Albus. "Of the prophecy, if you're agreeable."
"Sure." Severus drew out his wand, pressing it to his temple. "There's no information on how to defeat the Dark Lord, though. And you know I didn't hear all of it?"
"Yes, but what you did hear was enough to scare Voldemort. If I could just get the wording of exactly what you heard, it may be a starting point."
Severus couldn't lie, he had long forgotten the precise wording. Thus, he withdrew the memory and lowered it delicately into the pensieve. "Do you want me to see it too?"
"Yes, if you please."
They went in together. Over the pensieve and through the clouds of memory until the street outside the Hog's Head materialised around them and a ghost rain fell that they could not feel. "There I am, sir. Just going in now."
Scrawny and furtive, twenty year old Severus glanced over his shoulder as he entered the bar. Lurking in the shadows, a couple of his fellow Death Eaters watched from the shadows. They snorted derisively as they wished him 'good luck' before retreating from the relentless rain.
Inside the Hog's Head, the room was dingy and poorly lit. Aberforth Dumbledore was behind the bar, polishing a shot glass with a grubby cloth while Sybil Trelawney knocked back a glass of sherry. Severus shrugged off his wet coat and ordered a firewhiskey, looking instantly regretful as Aberforth poured it into the same glass he'd been polishing with the dirty cloth. He then gave a start as Sybil suddenly spoke to him: "My inner-eye informs me you are here for an interview too, my dear."
Severus's eyes narrowed as he looked sidelong at her. "Well guessed."
"Darkness surrounds you, your chances are poor." She continued to peer at him through her thick glasses, eyes enlarged, spaced-out like she was peering into distant galaxies. "Maybe I shall impart some tips upon my return."
Memory Severus suppressed a smirk. "Maybe you shall."
Just then, a side door opened and Albus appeared through the aperture, calling Sybil to her interview. She climbed down from her tall barstool, stumbling over her own feet, clutching her many shawls as she righted herself and tottered away, impervious to Severus's snort of derision.
"Poor Sybil, I don't fancy her chances," Dumbledore whispered in his ear.
"Sorry, sir, I think I rather forced your hand."
Severus watched himself sipping tentatively at the firewhiskey as Aberforth tossed aside the cloth and ducked into a storeroom behind the bar. A look of malicious glee crossed memory Severus's face as he made a decision he would later regret. He ditched the drink, left his coat on his seat and ducked through the same side door Sybil Trelawney had gone through moments before. Both he and Dumbledore followed, hurrying to keep up. Memory Severus paused at the foot of the torch-lit stairwell as if second guessing himself. Then the smirk returned and he stole up the stairs like a creeping rat.
This was the moment he arrived at the crossroads, he thought. Now, as he knelt by the closed door through which muffled voices could be heard. Sybil's high and panicked as she struggled through the interview she was completely flunking; Dumbledore's polite but incredulous as he humoured her. All the while, the idiot by the keyhole, blissfully unaware that his whole world was about to implode, stifled his laughter by biting down on his fist. This was the worst part of it, real Snape thought to himself. He had not followed Sybil Trelawney seriously thinking he would hear anything of import. He'd done it for a laugh, so he could mock her when back with his Death Eater friends. He was disgusted with himself.
"Now," he said to Dumbledore at his side, "it begins."
Right enough, a sudden and ominous silence fell on the other side of the door. Dumbledore's voice could be heard saying, "are you quite all right?"
Sybil's answer was harsh and rasping: "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…"
The cruel smirk was gone from the face of his memory, replaced by a hungry look. His head turned sideways so that his ear was pressed up against the keyhole as he drank in every word. Concentrating so hard he didn't notice the torch flames swaying on a sudden draught, making the shadows sway across the grimy stone walls. Listening so intently he didn't hear the low, soft creak of the door opening behind him, nor the soft tread of Aberforth's boot on the bottom step as he began his ascent.
"...the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not-"
"You sly little shit!"
Aberforth's hands reached through real Severus and grabbed his memory self by the scruff of the neck, dragging him backwards down the stairs. Memory Severus cried out in alarm, grasping at the handrail in an effort to stay his descent. He was no match for Aberforth, who spun him around like a rag doll and kicked him down the steps with a sickening thump.
"What on earth is going on?" A furious Dumbledore had flung open the door and was now glaring down at the commotion.
Unwilling to save Severus's blushes, Aberforth grabbed him by the scruff again and forcibly turned him to face memory Dumbledore. Severus was struggling like a landed fish, squirming and cursing as muscular arms pinned him to the spot. "I caught this little runt at the door, Albus. Don't worry, I'll take care of 'im."
'Take care of him' Aberforth certainly did. Severus watched as he was dragged through the door, the barman casually sweeping up his wet coat as they passed and shoved him through the double doors. Just for good measure, Aberforth kicked him so hard up the backside he was sent sprawling into the street outside. A second later, his coat hit him with a wet slap.
Silhouetted by the light behind him, framed by the doorway around him, Aberforth looked down in revulsion at Severus. Then bellowed the immortal words of pub landlords up and down the country: "YOU'RE BARRED!"
The Death Eaters that had accompanied him came running over, offering to hex the barman to hell and back. But Severus was surprisingly happy for a man who'd been dragged out of a bar, shamed and kicked up the arse for good measure. "The Dark Lord must hear of this. Immediately!"
A much gentler arm wrapped around Severus shoulders. "That's enough. Let's go."
Moments later, they were back in Dumbledore's office, watching each other from across the pensieve. "So," said Severus, his voice weakened with his own disgrace. "That was it. That's what I did. That's how I got Lily and James Potter killed."
"I did not make you relive that awful memory to shame you, Severus." Dumbledore spoke softly, touching him beneath his chin and tilting his head up so they made eye contact. "Not only did it contain precious information, but it is unchangeable. You see, you can alter your own actions and you will, as a result, face different reactions and different consequences. For instance, you didn't call Lily a terrible name. Therefore, she remains your dearest friend. What happened the other day caused you to panic so much you hastened to my office and swore so profoundly in the attempt you now face a punishment you didn't before." Dumbledore paused, his lips twitching into a smile. "And you will not be barred from my brother's salubrious establishment in this new timeline. Something I am sure will make life worth living again."
Severus gave a crooked smile. "Naturally, sir."
"But do you understand what I mean about the prophecy? That it exists independently of you and you cannot prevent it being made."
Severus nodded. "You will still need to fill teaching positions, which means Sybil Trelawney will still turn up for the Divination interview and she will still make that prophecy. But I won't be there to overhear it. Isn't that enough to neutralise the threat?"
"Just as water always finds its own level, history usually finds its own way of happening," Albus replied. "It might not be you that overhears the prophecy, but someone else in some other way. It might not be Lily Evans and James Potter he targets, it might be someone else-"
"Frank and Alice Longbottom," Severus cut in. "Their son was born the day before Lily's. The Dark Lord was torn on whether the prophecy referred to Harry Potter or Neville Longbottom. He might have gone for Harry to test my loyalty – he knew how I felt about Lily."
Dumbledore looked gratified. "There. If we don't find a way to stop Voldemort, it could be the other boy who's marked as his equal. I know Alice. She will do exactly as Lily did and die to protect her child."
"That sounds right. Both she and Frank were tortured into insanity rather than reveal the whereabouts of the Dark Lord after he vanished."
"By whom?"
"Bellatrix Lestrange."
"So she knew Voldemort was not dead after the killing curse rebounded. Then she must know how he survived."
Severus gave a mirthless laugh. "Good luck getting that information out of her."
"Oh, I already have my suspicions. But this still proves that there are those who know for sure."
"Soul fragments," said Severus, looking Dumbledore in the eye. "That's the common theme here, isn't it? The prophecy child ended up with a fragment of soul in him. A teacher in the future has a fragment of the Dark Lord's soul in him. There's a diary with the Dark Lord's soul in it. It's leading somewhere. It has to be and I think you knew that in the future."
Deep in thought, Dumbledore was tugging heedlessly at his beard, eyes unfocused. Severus could almost see the wheels turning. But this was the one thing Dumbledore in the future had not told him. A key piece of information withheld in fear that Voldemort would find out. Finally, Albus snapped out of his reverie. "We need to talk again, tomorrow. Straight after breakfast. I need all the information you have on these … soul fragments, Severus. Alas, Professor McGonagall is expecting you now."
Severus looked at his watch, noting he had just five minutes to get to his detention and suppressed a curse. "Very well."
"And Severus," said Dumbledore, with his stern headmaster's face on. "Try to stay out of trouble from now on. I need you available at all times."
Feeling absurdly sheepish, Severus gave a nod but said nothing more as he headed for the door.
Given a choice between worrying about her own fate or exploring a magical room, Lily knew which one to go for. Thus, while Severus served his detention, she happily found herself on the seventh floor, facing a blank stretch of wall. 'I need to find all the hidden things, I need to find all the hidden things…'
She smiled as the doors appeared and let herself inside, looking around in wonder at what she found. The room was vast, far bigger than it had been when Severus used it to sleep in. Old cupboards were stacked against the wall, fanged frisbees hovered meekly in the air, bobbing up and down as the charms wore off them. A mannequin had been stood next to an old filing cabinet, a lurid pink feather boa wrapped around its shoulders. Melted cauldrons, clearly used to brew illicit potions, were dumped by the wall. Zonko's products, sneaked into the school after countless Hogsmead visits, were hastily stuffed under sofas that, in turn, were buried beneath stacks of books.
Everywhere she turned, she saw something new and mysterious. Strangely glowing artefacts, smoking ruins of cauldrons and a sinisterly glowing liquid corked in a crystal vial. A curly wig changed colour from red to blue to yellow then green. She followed a path through the centuries of detritus, all tossed away by the countless generations of Hogwarts students that passed through these hallowed halls. She stopped to read the spines of old books, dared sniff an odd looking bottle of potion and learned to not do that again after being assaulted by the stench of rotten meat. She bent down in a far corner to pick up an ancient looking, battered leather-bound book. As she did so, the glint of a blue sapphire caught her eye.
It was a tiara, or so she thought. Lost in the shadows under a rickety rocking chair that rocked of its own accord. But as she picked it up and held it to the light, she could see it was a diadem, set with a large, sky-blue sapphire that sparkled prettily as it caught the light. The front of the piece formed an eagle, it's wings set with numerous diamonds that caught and splintered the light – it looked priceless. Along the outer rim, carefully engraved in a florid cursive script was the motto: 'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure'.
"Ravenclaw," she whispered, carefully placing the diadem on a shelf. The piece seemed so utterly incongruous among the junk it was almost unsettling. Still, Lily made a note to try and find out more as she continued her exploration.
Thank you for reading. Reviews would be welcome, if you have a moment.
