My Life's Stranger Than Yours
An Unlikely Alliance; The Plan to End Happosai
Pantyhose Taro stared dumbfounded at the man who just introduced himself as Goku. "Goku? You mean 'Son' Goku?"
"Yeah," Goku nodded. "But…how'd you know that?"
The reply Goku received was unorthodox to say the least. Instead of a sensible answer, Goku was met with low laughter that steadily intensified into a maniacal cackle. "Well, this is unprecedented, but not unwelcome."
"Hey, are you planning something?" Goku asked accusingly.
"Oh, I'm planning alright. Planning to take you down!" Taro immediately went on the offense, throwing a sucker punch which Goku easily caught. "Good, so you can defend. It'd be rather anticlimactic if the pupil of Master's Archrival couldn't take a punch."
"Your Master's Archrival?" Goku took a moment to consider everything. Between this kid practicing the 'Tri-Beam', and talks of Goku being the pupil of his master's rival, Goku quickly realized who Taro was referring to. "Oh I get it now." Releasing his grip on Taro, he followed up. "You're training with the Crane School, aren't you?"
Clutching his wrist, Taro nodded his confirmation. "Yes I am, and while you weren't part of the plan, I'm sure Master will appreciate me taking you down all the same!" With an hearty yell, Taro resumed his attack on Goku showering him with a barrage of punches. The former Turtle student merely avoided all the young fighters attacks with seemingly minimal effort. Any attack that managed to break past Goku's evasion was subsequently blocked by the experienced fighter.
Taro began to visibly get more and more frustrated with each failed attack. He was able to remain calm however as he reminded himself who he was dealing with. It made sense that this man wouldn't be an easy opponent to take down, given his history as a fighter…at least…not while he remains as is. Ceasing his assault, Taro launched himself backwards, much to a smug Goku's confusion.
"What's wrong? Weren't you gonna take me down?" Goku taunted.
"Make no mistake, I will defeat you. This will just require a change in tactics," Taro declared. Reaching into his shirt he pulled out a capsule an popped it revealing a bottle of water. Dumping its contents onto his head, Taro laughed as his body transformed, unveiling his chimeric form to a genuinely surprised Goku.
"Whoa! What the heck are you!?"
Taro let out a bellowing "Moooo!" before throwing his giant fist at Goku. Despite his initial shock however, Goku still easily held his fist back.
"I see, so this is what you do when you wanna fight serious, huh?" asked a nonchalant Goku. "Guess I'd better fight for real a bit too." Grabbing Taro's giant wrist, Goku flipped the giant chimera over his shoulder before tossing him into the ground.
Ignoring the pain that now stung alongside his back, Taro's frustration was much more apparent now. There's no way he was letting his curse form get overpowered again. Pulling himself out of his aptly sized crater, he once again stood defiantly before Goku.
Goku, with a signature confident smile, took a defensive stance, which Taro reciprocated, his tentacles wriggling menacingly. Goku took notice of his opponent's extra appendages, and something suddenly flashed in his mind. Didn't Gohan say something about fighting a monster with tentacles? Before he could dwell on it for too long however, the giant chimera lashed his extra limbs out at Goku, who quickly jumped to avoid it. Though Goku dodged the tentacles, he didn't dodge the black sludge that splashed him right in the face.
"Gah…ewwww, what is that stuff!?" he groaned.
While Goku wiped his face, Taro took the moment to completely wrap Goku up in his tentacles. With a triumphant snicker, Taro raised his tentacles upwards with intent to slam the captured Goku into the ground. Before he could even attempt it however, he could feel a force trying to force his extra limbs away.
Taro desperately tried to keep his hold on his prey, even clutching his hands around the wrapped bundle, but it was all for naught as a smoky white blur burst out from Taro's tentacles, revealing a hovering Goku, his body bathed in the white, misty, aura. A surprised Taro could barely react as Goku vanished from sight. The next thing he knew, his tentacles were being grabbed. Glancing backwards, he found Goku with all 8 of his tentacles in his arms. Before he could try anything, Taro was unceremoniously tugged back by his tentacles and roughly spun around. As the seconds passed, Goku would spin faster and faster until he let out a yell of effort.
"Hyyyyyyyyyyagh!"
Finally releasing the giant chimera, Taro was hurled deep into the forest knocking into countless trees before slamming headfirst into a giant rock. Unlike most of his other collisons with stone, this one shattered on impact and split apart right down the middle. Normally, such a blow from an opponent of that caliber would be enough to render the bovine fighter unconscious, but his resilience was notably greater thanks to his intense training from the Crane Master. Still, he wasn't recovering from that last attack unscathed.
As Taro lay a dazed mess on the ground, Goku flew over to examine the bovine fighter. "Hey buddy, you alright down there?" he asked with genuine concern. Hovering over Taro's seemingly defeated form, Goku quickly determined he was still alive, which was good, but now he was at a loss on what he should do next. Unbeknownst to the calm Saiyan, one of Taro's tentacles began to slink up behind him.
As Goku pondered his next move, the tip of Taro's limb began to glow yellow. In an instant, a matching beam fired from the tip which Goku quickly swayed away from. "Was that the Dodon Ray? Wow, I didn't know you could fire it from your tentacles!"
A fully awakened Taro snorted before raising another tentacle and firing again, receiving the same result of Goku dodging. "Sorry, but you're going to have to do better than that if you want to…WHOA!"
At Goku's provocation, Taro lifted all his tentacles simultaneously and fired at Goku who dodged by bending himself backwards. At Goku's successful dodge, Taro attempted to grab him again, but Goku dodged by back-flipping away.
Taro quickly got back to his feet and took to the skies.
"Huh? Is he running away?" Goku asked aloud. Shielding his face from the sun, Goku scanned the skies to find that Taro hadn't in fact flown away, but was instead hovering. Curiosity taking hold, Goku flew up after Taro, but was quickly put on edge when he felt a familiar spike in in energy.
"Wait, is he going to…?"
As Goku got closer, he took notice of Taro's pose. Sure enough, Goku recognized the sign his hands were positioned is. "He is! That's the Tri-Beam!"
Taro let out a loud echoing 'Moo!' before his hands began glowing and a wide burst of energy fired from his hands. Goku quickly crossed his arms in front of himself to defend the attack, but even he couldn't help but get forced back. Quickly shaking off the recoil, Goku continued his flight to the chimera. A determined Taro quickly prepared to fire again. When he did however, Goku vanished from his sight. A now confused Taro tried to find his target before getting intensely struck in the center of his gut.
Glancing down, Taro doubled over as he caught a glimpse of Goku with his fist in his stomach. The pain from the attack coupled with the strain from performing the Tri-Beam twice in a row ultimately overtook Taro, leading his consciousness to finally fade. As he fell, Goku warped up and grabbed him by the tentacles once more.
"Phew…that could've gotten pretty messy, but I still had fun," he beamed. "Still, that does beg the question, what should I do with you? I can't just leave you here, and I don't think Chi-Chi would like it if I brought you home like this…is there any way for me to change you back?"
Goku thought back to his first encounter with Taro and he recalled that he poured water on himself before he transformed. Suddenly realization struck. "Now I remember! Gohan said that the monster he fought had the same kind of curse as his friend who became a girl…I guess that'd be you."
The unconscious Taro failed to reply as Goku took off out of the forest, with Taro in hand.
Moments later, Goku returned to his home and dropped the unconscious chimera on the front lawn. Quickly darting indoors, Goku called out, "Hey Chi-Chi, do we have any hot water ready?" Before his startled wife could answer, Goku found her at the stove and sure enough, there sat a steaming kettle. "Ah, perfect!"
"Goku, what are you-?"
Chi-Chi was ignored as Goku grabbed the kettle and went back outside, quickly followed by Chi-Chi.
"Goku, answer me! What are you doing with that hot-!? AHHHHCK!" Chi-Chi held her tongue as she was met with the unconscious form of a large bovine monster. "Goku, what is that thing!? And why did you bring it here!?"
"Remember Gohan's friend who can turn into a girl?"
"What about…? Oh!" she quickly realized. "So this thing is actually a person?"
With a mischievous grin, Goku replied, "Yup. Watch this."
Pouring the kettle's contents over the unconscious chimera, it began to shrink down amidst a cloud of steam. As the steam cleared, a young man lay where the monster once did.
"Oh my…I know Ranma said it could turn people into animals, but I never thought I'd see something like…this," Chi-Chi stepped back.
The sound of coughing then filled the air as the unconscious Taro slowly woke back up. Likely helped by the warm splash. "Gack! Where am I!?" he demanded.
"Oh, you're awake already? You must be tougher than I thought," said Goku.
"You!" Taro immediately darted towards Goku but was surprisingly knocked down by a flustered Chi-Chi.
"I don't know what your problem is, but don't go around picking fights until after you've put some pants on!" she exclaimed.
Taro looked down and upon realizing his state of undress, and in front of a woman, immediately covered himself with his hands. "Dammit! I forgot my clothes got destroyed when I transformed!"
Goku chuckled with a hand behind his head. 'I guess the same thing happened to me and Gohan when we turned into Great Apes.'
Chi-Chi sighed. "Goku, keep an eye on him while I find him a set of replacement clothes."
"Sure thing." Once Chi-Chi was out of earshot, Goku's expression turned noticeably more serious. "In the meantime though, I think you and I should have a little chat."
"About what?"
"What's the Crane Master planning to do to Gohan and his friends?"
Much later, Goku and Taro, the latter clothed in a white and blue tracksuit were together at Goku's crops. With their son being involved, the former didn't want Chi-Chi to overhear their conversation…not that Taro was being too cooperative. He finally decided to comply however when Goku offered him a place at their dinner table (without Chi-Chi's approval, but he knew she'd come around).
Once the two were alone, Taro laid out his whole spiel with Happosai. Gohan had mentioned the name when he told them the story, but he didn't give any details beyond the fact that he was the master of Ranma and Akane's fathers. Now Goku had a clearer picture of the situation; Happosai's grudge against Gohan, Taro's reasoning for following him, as well as the Crane School's place in this.
"I see. So if you beat Gohan, he'll allow you to change your name, right?"
"In a nutshell, yes," Taro concurred.
"You know, speaking of, I don't think I ever actually got your name, did I?"
"That's because you haven't asked for it, and even had you, I would've refused to tell you."
"I guess that's true," Goku chuckled. "Still, don't you think this is a little extreme just to get your name changed?"
"It's the law of my homeland!" Taro snapped. "If I could just change my name myself, I wouldn't have resigned myself to being that filthy old raisin's puppet!"
"But if you hate him so much, why are you following his orders?"
Taro clenched his fist. "It's undoubtedly an insult to my pride, but if it gets me the one thing I want more than anything else in this world, it's a pill I'm willing to swallow."
"But what if he still doesn't let you change your name even if you beat Gohan?"
Taro let out a chuckle. "Funny, I had this conversation with Master Chen just a few nights ago. Anyways, to answer your question, I'm more than expecting that lying bastard to welch on our agreement, and I do have a plan to give him incentive to keep it. The problem is, getting that incentive.
"What incentive?" Goku paused and considered what Taro told him about Happosai. From what he gathered, he seemed just like a more mischievous, if not malicious, version of Master Roshi which meant, he could probably be swayed just like Roshi too. "Wait, don't tell me, it's pictures of a pretty lady, right!?"
Taro nodded. "Yes, but not just any lady will do…at least in this case. There's a certain lady whom he tried to steal lingerie from and failed due to…presumably her husband. If I can get pictures of that woman, or her clothes, and use them as a bargaining chip, I'm positive even he would keep his word if meant getting his hands on either of those."
"What lady?" Goku nigh instinctively asked.
When Taro began relaying the story Shen told him, he remembered something he said. The woman in question was 'A Turtle School Supporter who was at both of their Tournament appearances.' Coupled with the description Taro gave, it didn't take long for Goku to realize who Happosai's failed target was.
"So this Happy-side guy was targeting Bulma huh?"
"So you do know her!" Taro exclaimed. With a hopeful glimmer in his eye, Taro zipped up to Goku and took him by the hand. "Please! If you can, assist me and help me get something from that lady!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy!" Goku said retreating from the now hysteric Taro. "I guess I could go talk to Bulma, but I don't think she'll be too willing to help…especially after the last time I asked her to do something like this…." Goku chuckled as he recalled an irate Vegeta yelling at him on the Supreme Kai's planet, as well as an equally, if not even more so furious Bulma yelling at him not long after that day.
Goku put a hand to his chin in thought before a grin shone on his face. "Then again, I think I might know someone who can help!"
Placing two fingers on his forehead, Goku extended a hand to Taro, who reluctantly, yet curiously took it. In a flash, the two vanished.
[]
'Where am I…and why does everything hurt…?' came the innermost thoughts of an unconscious Ranma Saotome. 'Did I say something to piss off Akane again? Or did Ryoga get in a lucky shot…? No…that's not it. My body feels all…tingly…. Wait, did Kodachi drug me again!?'
The young fighter continued to rattle his brain for potential reasons for his current situation, all the while trying to move his body. As he did, familiar voices filled his ear.
"Hey Gramps, he's moving!" said what sounded like a little girl.
"Wait, really!?" added the aforementioned 'Gramps'
"Is he waking up?" added another man's voice. This one sounding much younger, but still adult.
'Wait, I know those voices,' Ranma realized. Almost sporadically, he tried to sit himself up, to no avail. Summoning all the strength he could, Ranma jerked himself up and forward, gasping and panting profusely.
"What just…?" Quickly taking In his surroundings, Ranma came face to face with the Turtle Hermit just as Marron was taking her leave.
"Glad to see you're still with us sleeping beauty," joked a guffawing Roshi.
"You had us worried there pal. You were out for nearly the whole day," added an entering Krillin.
"Out for…what happened?"
"You mean you don't remember?"
Ranma began rattling his brain recalling what happened before she passed out. She remembered she was on the beach trying out Roshi's Containment technique…on Gohan! Ranma hastily attempted to get off of the sofa, but quickly stumbled over his feet before being caught by Krillin.
"Whoa, take it easy. You're still low on energy, so try not to strain yourself."
"Low on energy?" asked Ranma.
"Yeah," Roshi spoke up. "You know, it sounded good on paper at the time, but in retrospect, maybe having Gohan be your first Mafuba practice target wasn't the best idea," Roshi rubbed his head with his staff."
"Why? I get Gohan is stronger than a Turtle but why would he not be good practice?" asked Ranma. "Actually, where is Gohan anyway?"
"He's already gone," answered Krillin. "For what it's worth, he was worried about you and did intend to stay until you woke up, but we assured him we'd keep an eye on you and keep him updated. After we assured him you were fine, we sent him on his way because he still wanted to go see the girls."
"Right, I remember now. He only came here cause he didn't know they were training someplace else."
Interjecting his vocal thoughts, Roshi said, "To answer your other question, Gohan is someone who'd require a lot of energy to seal away. Even moreso than Happosai."
"What are you talking about Gramps?" Ranma demanded.
Krillin and Roshi's expressions both turned solemn. Glancing to each other they shared a look before Roshi continued. "It's not exactly my place to say, but for now just accept that Gohan is a special kind of fighter."
Ranma raised an eyebrow in confusion before realization struck his face. "Wait, does this have something to do with him being a superhero?"
The Turtle Fighters both toppled over, briefly thankful for Ranma's moments of denseness. Quickly recovering, Krillin said, "Sure, let's go with that."
"Okay, I think I get it now," Ranma began. "Whatever power Gohan uses to be the Green Sailorman probably makes him stronger than most average people. You figured if I could handle Gohan, then the old freak would be small potatoes in comparison, is that right?"
"I'm pretty sure you got his name wrong," said Krillin.
Roshi rubbed his head. "Barring that however, you're more or less right," he confirmed.
Ranma then grit her teeth, his fist clenched. "So I guess that means I need to practice some more before we fight the old freak, huh?"
"You always need to practice more before a fated encounter," Roshi affirmed. "Although for what it's worth, for your first time performing the Mafuba, you did surprisingly well," he subsequently praised. 'Especially considering you're still alive after all that mess.'
"Don't try and make me feel better Gramps," Ranma dismissed with a sigh.
"I'm not, that is my genuine assessment," Roshi replied. "Barring you passing out, the only real issue was your aim. Just work on that and you can keep ol' Happy under wraps."
"But…?"
"…But…"
"There it is," said a sarcastic Ranma.
"Given your response to using it on Gohan, the way I see it, you'll only have one chance to trap him before you'd be most fully devoid of energy."
Ranma's snark soon turned to confidence. "Heh, if that's the only other downside, then no problem. One chance is all I need!"
"That's the spirit kid. And besides, even if you screw it up, at least you'll have a backup plan with the girls learning it too, right?" Krillin added.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about them."
Laying back against the sofa, Ranma considered that he hadn't gone to see Akane and Videl since he started training. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't help but wonder what they were going through right now. He didn't know what this Tien person was like, but whatever he was doing to them can't be any worse than what he was going through with Roshi, right. Then again, there's also the Mafuba itself. Maybe it was just because he performed it on a powerful target, but the fact that it took him out for nearly the whole day started to worry him. If one of the girls happened to try the attack on someone that much stronger than them, would they be fine in just a few hours, or would they suffer a much worse fate? Roshi did say at the beginning if you weren't careful you could actually end yourself.
'You better not die on me Akan-!'
"Yaaggh…! Hey!"
A now female Ranma was subsequently jarred from her thoughts by a snickering Roshi with a bottle in his hand.
"What was that all about?"
"Well you looked a little distracted so I thought I'd get your attention," Roshi giggled. "Also, we're not training to day, and need I remind you of…?"
"Fine, okay, I get it!" Ranma rolled off the sofa and again staggered to her knees. "Actually, if you wouldn't mind, I think I'd like to take a hot shower first."
Roshi crossed his arms, but showed an understanding look. "Well, that's all fine considering what's happened to you today, but you better change back once you're all done in there."
"Yes Master," Ranma rolled her eyes.
As Ranma retreated up the stairs, a glare flashed in Roshi's shades. Taking a seat on the couch, Roshi remained still. Meanwhile in the kitchen, Krillin and 18 peered at their landlord.
"Huh, you think he'd have tried one more thing before letting Ranma off for the night," said Krillin.
"He already did, but little does he know, he already failed," 18 smiled at him.
"You want to explain how?"
Without turning back, 18 merely tossed something to Krillin, soon revealing itself to be a camera. "You'll never guess where I found that camera."
Rolling his eyes, Krillin replied. "I dunno, I've got quite a few ideas."
"Ideas about what?"
Krillin and 18 both yelped before coming face to face with Goku from out of nowhere and a boy around Gohan or Ranma's age.
"Goku!?"
"Yo!" the Saiyan greeted.
"Goku, what the heck are you doing here? And who's this guy?" asked Krillin.
Krilln's question fell on deaf ears as Goku was preoccupied greeting Marron who'd strolled in from the other room.
"Uncle Goku's here!"
"How's it been Shorty?"
"Goku!" Krillin called again.
He was again ignored as a frantic, towel clad, female Ranma rushed down the stairs. "What's going on here, I thought I heard scream-!? Hey, it's Gohan's old man…! And…PANTYHOSE TARO!?"
"The Crossdresser!?"
"Don't call me that!"
Before Roshi could make an attempt at Ranma, she and Taro instantly zipped to each other, their fists reared back. As their punches were unleashed, they were both caught by an intervening 18 who, judging by the visible vein on her forehead was not amused.
"Everybody QUIET!"
With that intense exclamation and the colliding of the cursed teens' heads, everybody froze. Following a pregnant pause, Goku broke the silence, asking, "Actually is this a bad time?"
Moments later, everything finally calmed down allowing explanations to be made…after Goku stopped laughing following the revelation of Taro's whole name.
Goku revealed to Taro that Ranma, Gohan and the girls had a plan to seal Happosai away, but he quickly objected.
"NO! I can't let you do that!"
"Until after he changes your name, you mean?" snarked Ranma.
Before Taro could retaliate, Goku spoke up. "That's actually why we're hear. We may have a way to make sure this Happening guy actually lets Pantyhose change his name."
The immature snicker from Krillin didn't go unnoticed by Taro himself or 18 who both shot him a scornful look.
"And what way is that?" asked a curious Ranma.
"We figured we may get him to comply if we have a bargaining chip," Taro replied.
"And that's where you come in Master Roshi."
"Who me?"
"You wouldn't happen to have any pictures of Bulma we could borrow, would you?" asked Goku.
"Okay, we're done here. Come on." Sensing where this conversation was going, 18 excused herself outside the house, taking Marron with her.
Krillin glanced back to his family and the table, unsure of whether he should follow them lead or stay seated. Ultimately he chose the safe option and zipped after her.
"Eighteen wait up!"
"Krillin, where are you going?" asked Goku.
"Sorry guys, but something tells me I don't want to know the details of this plan of yours cause if Bulma finds out, I will not be held responsible for the ass kicking she'll give you guys!" 'Not to mention the one 18 would give me if I stayed.' Darting out the door, Krillin took off after his family.
"You know, he's not exactly wrong," Roshi concurred. "Jokes on him though cause, contrary to what you might think I actually don't have any hot pictures of Bulma."
"I dunno who this Bloomers lady is Gramps, but you better not be holdin' out on us cause you don't wanna share with the freak," Ranma deadpanned. 'Although, that name does sound familiar for some reason…' he pondered.
Roshi coyly rubbed his head. "I'll admit, you got me there boy. I'd definitely need a hard sell myself in a case like this, but even setting that aside, I really don't have any. All the pictures I have of Bulma are pictures of all of us together. I'll admit I had some but…."
"I'm guessing that blonde woman trashed them all?" said Taro.
A remorseful Roshi nodded in regret. "It was a grand collection too, dating back all the way from the days of the 22nd Tournament in fact! Over two decades worth of gold, gone in a flash!"
A dejected Goku crossed his arms. "Well…so much for that. Guess I do have to ask Bulma directly after all, and I don't think she's gonna be in too good a mood about this."
"I implore you to at least try. I may be conniving, but even I have standards," said Taro. There was a brief pause and Taro turned to Ranma. "What, no snarky remark this time crossdresser?"
During the chat, Ranma was deep in thought. Something about Bulma's name stirred something within her. She could swear she heard the name before. After a moment of pondering, it suddenly hit.
"Yo!" Ranma interjected. "I've never met her myself, but by any chance, does this Bulma lady have short blue hair?"
Goku and Roshi shared a look before confirming. Ranma's face illuminated as she finally recalled not only where she'd seen Bulma before, but also where they just MIGHT find a source for their leverage.
"Guys, I think I may know someone who can help!"
[]
A frantic Gohan blasted across the horizon until he found himself near the Eastern Mountain region. 'According to Master Roshi, Tien and Chiaoutzu are based somewhere around this area. I might be able to sense them once I get close enough.'
Halting near the peak of the mountain, Gohan closed his eyes and focused. It wasn't long before a trio of familiar energies revealed themselves to him. "So Tien and Chiaoutzu are here but…is that Yamcha too!? I guess it makes sense they'd stay connected after our last reunion." Flaring his aura, Gohan dove downwards, making his way into a forest area. Unbeknownst to the zooming Saiyan, he'd fly right over a large, lake, unintentionally making waves for the trio of girls currently floating in it.
Finally, Gohan arrived at his destination to find Yamcha and Tien amongst a gaggle of villagers that seemed to be doing some kind of construction.
"Hey!"
Glancing up, the older Z-Fighters smiled to greet their young friend. "Yo, it's Gohan!"
Tien snickered as the young Saiyan landed. "I guess it was only a matter of time before you showed up. "How've you been Gohan?"
"I'm fine. Just…."
"You're wondering how Videl and Akane have been doing lately?"
"Straight to the point huh," Gohan shyly chuckled.
"You have my word that they're both doing fine, but if you'd rather hear it straight from the source, they and an…acquaintance of ours are over by the lake."
"Okay thanks!" Gohan quickly took to the sky and headed towards the lake, just barely missing out on Tien calling out his name.
"Wait Gohan, don't go…!" His warning came to late as Gohan shot off into the woods. Tien couldn't help but send out a small prayer for his young friend as the results of Gohan's hastiness would surely be messy to say the least. A mess that Tien didn't want to get involved in.
[]
In the heated lake, Videl, Akane and Rouge were still collecting themselves after an intense burst of wind shot through the forest.
"Whoa…where'd that big gust come from?" asked Videl
"I don't know, but I thought I saw something big fly by." Akane replied. "You think that could've done it?"
"Maybe. It was probably a dinosaur flapping its wings," Videl dismissively shrugged.
"I don't know…whatever it was, didn't look like a dinosaur. Heck it didn't even look like an animal."
Rouge's expression darkened as she covered her chest with her arms. "What if its someone trying to spy on us!?" she suggested.
Videl chuckled as she leaned on the bank of the lake. "Rouge calm down. I can understand if you're still a bit weary, but that whole thing with Yamcha was an accident, remember."
"True, but that doesn't mean it can't happen," Akane concurred.
"I guess…but then again, that gag's already been done in this arc. What are the odds the author's going to do it again?"
(A/N: To answer Videl's question…) The moment the words left her mouth, leaves began to rustle, drawing the girls' attention. Instinctively they all covered up until the rustling revealed itself to be a small flock of birds.
"Huh…its usually monkeys that cause a stir in hot springs," noted Akane.
"Well this isn't a natural spring, it's a lake that Rouge heated up." Swimming to the bank of the lake, Videl laid back to relax before her face lit up. "You know, now that I think about it, don't you think the big change in temperature could have an effect on the animals that use or live in this lake?"
Neither Akane nor Rouge answered as they both just stood frozen, their faces apple red. "Girls? What's up?"
They simply pointed behind her, prompting Videl to turn and come face to face with none other than an equally red-faced Gohan hovering, though unmoving. Following a single beat of silence, Gohan was the one to break it with a shy, fearful, "Ummmm…hi ladies."
"KYAAAAAAAAGH-!"
Though Akane and Videl covered themselves and descended into the water, Rouge proceeded to completely freak out. Leaping out of the lake to a nearby bucket, dumping its contents over herself.
Gohan was hastily blinded by a sudden flash of light, but the next thing he could recall seeing was a female silhouette bathed between the same gleam.
"Vanish you vile-!"
Rouge's declaration of war was quickly quashed by a towel clad Videl who'd already grabbed a bucketful of still hot lake water and dumped it over Rouge's cursed form.
"No, no. I already told you, we're NOT going through that again!"
"Going through what again?" asked Gohan.
Akane only sighed as the situation, while resolving itself, still drew irritation from her.
The next few moments were full of explanations as each party got the other one up to speed. Gohan went first explaining how he wanted to check the girls' progress with the Mafuba. He also apologized for his earlier intrusion, explaining that in his mind, the girls would only be swimming in the lake and would thusly be be appropriately covered. Due to the lack of any natural hot water around these parts, he wouldn't have figured anyone would be bathing out here.
Finally, it was the girls' turn to explain and the two friends quickly introduced Gohan to Rouge, explaining her curse and how they used her literal firepower to heat the lake up.
"Wait, wouldn't changing the water's temperature so drastically have some kind of effect on the ecosystem here?" Gohan asked.
"I actually just wondered the same thing," Videl added.
"Focus you two!" Akane interjected.
Handing the proverbial mic to Rouge, the pseudo-Ashura bowed her head apologetically. "I must apologize. I'm so used to hastily dispatching perverse men, I never dreamed that one day Ms. Videl's lover would be one to gaze upon me."
"I…I…ummm…." Gohan stammered over his response. Despite the sincerity in her voice, nothing about her words sounded apologetic past the first line. Nevertheless, Gohan accepted it. "Thanks…I think…."
"You should count yourself lucky we were all still under the water cause if we'd have been a few centimeters over…"
"Then I'd be in trouble?" Gohan finished.
"Yup."
"Big time."
"Glad to know I dodged a bullet there."
"Gohan, I've seen you catch bullets before. You dodged a Kamehameha," Videl joked.
"Speaking of special techniques, how have you two been progressing with the Mafuba?" Gohan asked.
"Why don't we finish this conversation back with Tien in the village after we put some clothes on?" suggested Akane.
The whole time, the girls were wrapped in towels and though Gohan was too focused on their conversation to really pay it any mind, Akane bringing up their current state of dress couldn't help but fluster the chivalrous saiyan.
"R-right. I'll leave you girls to it and catch you in a little while. Later!"
As Gohan turned and dashed away, he'd barely gotten a yard before he ran smack dab into another person. A familiar man in farmers' clothes with wild, black, spiky hair.
"Dow…what was…? Wait, Dad?"
"Gohan!"
"Goku?"
"Videl!"
"Yo Gohan."
"Ranma?"
"Ranma!?"
"Akane!?"
(A/N: TETSUO!)
"KYAAAAAA-!"
"WHAAAGH-!?"
The long string of name calling was halted by the frightened hollers of the two guests. As all eyes turned to their respective newcomers, the girls shrieked at the appearance of their old adversary while Ranma gasped at the appearance of an old acquaintance.
"Pantyhose Taro!?"
"What's he doing here!?"
"Hey, is that the girl with the Ashura curse?"
"You're that demon woman!"
"It's the vile pervert!"
Taro immediately reached into his pocket and pulled out a capsule and popped it to reveal a nearly depleted water bottle. Rouge immediately shrieked and threw herself at Taro.
"No!"
Taro held her back by the face as she desperately tried to advance. Taro smirked as he uncapped the lid, but grunted when his bottle was hastily knocked out of his hands by Ranma.
"Look pal, I know you and her have beef, but we need to focus on why we're here!"
"Yeah. Actually, why are you guys here?" asked Gohan.
"Can we save the questions for after we get dressed, please!?" Akane snapped.
[]
Leaving the girls to their own, the guys returned to the village where they were promptly greeted by Tien.
"Gohan, you're back and…Goku? When did you get here?"
"Hey Tien, how's it been?"
"It's certainly been interesting lately to say the least."
"You mean with Videl and her friend?"
"Partially, but that's a story for a bit later. Right now I'm more interested in these two," he turned to Ranma and Taro who were glaring at each other."
"I'm sure the girls have explained already but the one in the red shirt is Akane's fiancée Ranma and the taller one is Master Shen's new pupil Pant-!"
"DON'T SAY IT!" Taro hastily planted his foot in the back of Gohan's head.
Tien let out a sheepish chuckle before replying. "The girls already told me your name and situation Taro, but I will respect your wish and not use your…full name."
"Huh, guess you lucked out eh Pantyho-?"
"Don't call me that!" Taro's next attack was aimed at Ranma who quickly blocked his punch.
As the two continued trading and blocking blows, Tien watched the pair with intrigue. Judging from what he could sense, their power was certainly higher than your standard athlete. He could see why Roshi and Shen would have in interest in training them.
As Gohan broke the two up, Taro turned his attention to Tien.
the group was then joined by Yamcha, Chiaoutzu, and Launch, the two fighters having sensed the group's arrival.
"H-hey, it's Goku and…two other kids?"
"Yamcha!"
"It has been a while, hasn't it," greeted Launch.
"I'll say. I haven't seen you since Mr. Satan's party!" Goku replied.
The greetings and introductions continued until they were finally quashed by an inquisitive Tien. "Not that we aren't glad to see you Goku, but why exactly are you here?"
"We're waiting for the girls to get back," Gohan interjected.
"Here we are!"
As if on cue, Videl, Akane, and Rouge returned from the lake, the latter keeping her distance from Taro.
With everyone reunited, all the relevant parties assembled into a nearby hut while the rest returned to monitor the village restoration. With everyone all set, Ranma took initiative.
"Okay people, as we all know, we're here because we're trying to put the old freak away for good. However, Pantyose Taro here-."
Taro cut Ranma off, by jamming his elbow into his head and continuing where he left off. "I can't let you get rid of him until after he changes my name, but the only way he'll do that is if I defeat you," Taro pointed to Gohan.
"I can't just turn myself in to him, but I'd be more than willing to take a dive if it'd help," said Gohan.
"I'd much rather just take you down the old-fashioned way, but given what's at stake here, I'll accept it. Although your cooperation is appreciated, it isn't the main point of contention. Its making sure the old man keeps his word."
Ranma threw Taro off of him, reasserting the proverbial mic. "Which is where I came up with the bright idea to bargain with him."
"Bargain what?" asked Akane.
"With pictures of Bulma!" Goku exclaimed.
"Wait, WHAT!?" came a unified response.
"Who is 'Bulma'?" asked Rouge.
Her question was ignored as Tien spoke up. "Uh Goku, are you sure that's a good idea?"
"What? It's not like this is the first time she's done something like this before."
"Maybe, but she also wasn't married before. Don't you think Vegeta will object to this too?"
Ranma shot Gohan a look, and the latter simply mouthed, "Her husband."
"Yeah, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?"
"Goku, ignoring how just…wrong this plan of yours is, what I want to know is why are you telling us about this!?" snapped Videl.
"You'll have to ask Ranma about that. He said he knew someone who could probably help, but needed to talk to Gohan first."
"Me?"
"Yeah. Well, you, Videl, even Akane. I just needed one of you to confirm something."
"Confirm what?"
"Akane, remember the hot-spring trip you took with my mom and your sisters? You told me Videl, Gohan's mom, and her two friends were there too. Did one of them happen to be Bulma?"
"I can confirm that," Gohan interjected. "I heard all about it from Mom."
"That's weird…how come I don't remember your Mom mentioning anything like that?" asked Goku.
"I think you were with King Kai on the day she came back," Gohan chuckled.
"Hehe, oh yeah."
A mischievous grin grew on Ranma's face. "Perfect! Next step, I need someone to take me home!"
Everyone again let out a simultaneous, "Huh?"
"Wait, aren't you going back to Master Roshi's place?" asked Goku.
"A bit later, but the person who can help us get Taro's bargaining chip is back home."
Everything was silent until realization flashed across Akane's face. "Wait a minute, you're not thinking of-!?"
"Yes I am!"
"Get real Ranma, there's no shot she'll help you out in this!" Akane argued.
"Still gotta try. Besides, once she hears what its for, I'm sure she'll at least be open to discussion."
While Ranma and Akane argued, Videl pulled Goku and Gohan aside. "I don't know who Ranma's talking about, but you guys do know that Bulma's not going to like this, right?"
"That's an understatement…I'm still shaken from the whole Elder Kai situation."
"Elder Kai?"
"Yeah. You see, in order for him to power Gohan up, we agreed to…"
"We agreed not to talk about this!" Gohan interjected clamping a hand over Goku's mouth.
While everyone seemed to be lost within their own private conversations, an irate Taro finally stepped in. "Enough with the secrets!" he demanded.
"You there, crossdresser! Tell me now who we're visiting!"
"Just for calling me that, I ain't tellin' ya! Still, you'll find out soon enough once someone gives me a lift back home."
Taro grunted before taking a breath to calm himself. "If you're speaking the truth, I'll fly you back to Nerima myself!"
"In that case-!" Ranma grabbed Taro by the arm and dashed out of the hut, pulling him along.
"Where's he taking him?" asked Goku.
"Probably the lake."
Sure enough, mere moments later, a large winged behemoth appeared above the recovering villages, sending many an onlooker into a frenzy. The panic was quickly quashed as the bovine chimera flew off peacefully, mostly ignoring the villagers.
As the group watched Ranma and Taro fly off, all eyes turned to Akane, being the only one who understood Ranma's plan.
"Don't leave us in suspense Akane, what's Ranma's planning?" asked Videl.
Akane remained silent, her eyes narrowing. 'The only person who'd be able to get perverse snapshots of Ms. Bulma.' "I'll…let you all know later. For now let's just…get back to work.
"Oh yeah. You girls were training to use the Evil Containment Wave," Goku noted. "Gohan came over here to check on you two, but I'm curious to see your progress too."
"Then you're in luck, because today's the day the girls are going to make their first proper attempt at using the technique," said Tien.
While the girls shared a high-five, Gohan flinched. He still remembered Ranma's attempt at the Mafuba that was used on him and the worrying result of it. Still, he held his tongue, desperate to uphold his promise that he'd let Videl have more independence when not training with him. Still, the moment anything went wrong, he would make sure to make the appropriate move.
[]
Moments later, Ranma and Pantyhose Taro returned to Nerima. After taking a quick trip to the bathhouse to turn Taro back to normal, the pair rushed to the Tendo Dojo.
"Yooo, I'm back!" Ranma announced.
"Hello Ranma," greeted Nodoka.
As Ranma whizzed past her and Kasumi, the eldest sister said, "You and Akane have been gone for quite a while. Is everything alr-?" Kasumi paused as she laid eyes on Ranma's companion.
"Pantyhose Taro!?" read Panda Genma's sign.
"What's he doing here!?" exclaimed Soun.
"Pops, Mr. Tendo, calm down. Pantyhose Taro's here for a reason. We're gonna get rid of the old freak for good!"
"What!?"
"You have a plan?"
"I'll tell ya later, but right now, where's Nabiki?"
A few seconds later, Ranma burst through Nabiki's door to find the middle sister doing her usual stretches.
"Ranma. So what do I owe this visit?"
"Nabiki, I've come to bargain!"
(A/N: And we're back and finally coming to the end of the preamble. I think I still have at least ONE more chapter of buildup before the gang faces Happosai directly, but that's just an estimate. We're nearing the final battle with the most hate-able anime pervert, a character so detested in his series that even our antagonist is joining the heroes in taking him down. Speaking of the alliance, I'll apologize in advance for the lack of interaction between Taro and Tien [and subsequently Taro and Rouge], but we needed everyone to get up to speed. Besides, this may have been the first time Tien and Taro meet, but it certainly won't be the last. In IRL events, I've scored myself a new job…at the place I quit late last year. Same store, different location. That said, my schedule isn't too taxing for the moment so I may be able to keep updates to a regular…though we'll see if that still holds true when November rolls around [which now that I think about it will be this story's 5th anniversary. FIVE YEARS OF THIS NONSENSE!]. Also, to anyone who may have complaints about my usage of a 'bargaining chip' for Happosai, I'm just going to say, this is a Ranma ½ story, that kind of thing comes with the territory. Until next time, enjoy!)
