【46 - Spiritual Healing by the Mysticism of the Tribal Elder!】
YouTube: Rainforest sound 11 hours. Rainforest Reverie, natural sound of a rainforest for relaxation
Evening purpled the sky as the two chosens walked up the steps of Kaleo's hut. Dinner and lunch had been as spectacular as Kanoa promised. A whole team of Islanders prepared an assortment of seafood, hog meat, jungle fruits and vegetables. They might've been tribal people, but in this lush environment they had a bounty of delicious food. It only needed to be hunted, gathered and prepared. Heidi was full, but more than that - her body felt well and energised from the completely natural sustenance. Suddenly she felt like she could build a hut, throw a fishing net, sail a canoe and whatever else these people did in their day-to-day activities.
From the beaded windows ahead wafted smokey incense, so strong that it make Heidi recoil. Before Kanoa could knock the thin door was opened and they received a wide smile from the crone.
"I have everything ready, come in…"
Heidi removed her sneakers then they followed her. The room was dark but a fire was crackling in the middle, smoke streaming up through a centre chimney. On all corners of the room bundles of incense were burning. The scent was heady and Heidi's nostrils were hot. The woman was wearing her spiritual robes - long woven fabric with beads and wooden necklaces. Kaleo pointed a long nail "Sit back there, Kanoa."
He nodded wordlessly and sat cross-legged by the wall, out of the way. Kaleo walked around the fire and sat, she motioned for Heidi to sit before her. There was a bowl of something. Heidi felt increasingly uncomfortable and wondered why she was even doing this. She sat down.
Kaleo took a deep breath to demonstrate "Let these fumes quiet your mind. They will help block out thoughts… so that what's underneath can come through."
Heidi took a breath, feeling the tightness in her chest as it constricted. Felt the scowl etching its way onto her face. Kaleo watched her expression. Heidi's eyes clenched shut. She wasn't just uncomfortable with the situation. This felt physically uncomfortable too. Like she was about to start wriggling where she sat and lashing out. She couldn't do it. She couldn't sit still.
"Now take deep breaths-" Kaleo was interrupted as Heidi sprang to her feet. It was unbearable.
"Why… why is this so painful!" Heidi yelled. "I've done meditating before to focus on my connection with Mars, but this is different!"
"Your focus is being directed to the emotional wounds that require healing. These will create blockages that prevent you from being in your full power."
Still standing, Heidi closed her eyes and took a breath to calm down. There was no calm. Everything she'd suppressed, bottled away or dissociated from was being let loose. It was too much for her.
"I can't do this!" She turned and ran. Forced her way out the hut, bare feet springing through the grass. She leant against a tree and tried to catch her breath.
Some time later she felt a hand on her shoulder and it was Kanoa, frowning with concern. Heidi had tears down her face, again without even being aware she was crying. She growled in frustration and wiped them forcefully.
"I hate feeling weak."
"Me too." Kanoa agreed.
Heidi glared back at the hutt and found her resolve, fists clenching "Come on. I'm going to heal even if I have to beat this stuff out of me." She strode right back, determined she wouldn't cave again.
Kaleo was understanding, giving a nod at Heidi's apology. Soon they were back in position.
"That bowl beside you is herbal tea. It will help clear you."
Heidi picked up the bowl and drank. It was bitter but soothing. She set it down, took a shaky breath before closing her eyes.
"You must not resist the discomfort, or the pain. You have to embrace it so you can overcome it…" Kaleo's voice soothed. "What do you see? What do you feel?"
Heidi felt the tears falling freely now "it's… the atom bomb site. Millions of people hurt, so many dead. It was all my fault. If I'd defeated the Mad Duelist, if I'd been strong enough he would've never found the bomb and repaired it. It's… my fault! I've never been the hero! I've been the biggest failure possible! I can't protect anyone-"
"You did not set off that bomb, Heidi." Kaleo spoke firmly. "You did everything you could to stop those who wanted to. The chosens each have their own unique situations, but unlike the others you had much less to guide you. You are a chosen hero, but you're not a superhero. You are just one girl. You're not expected to take on an alien terrorist organization by yourself."
"I'm not superhuman… I'm just one girl…" Heidi took a breath and accepted the words that prompted her. "Yes, you're right. I can see it now." Her eyes widened in shock and she looked at the woman sitting across from her. "My chest feels so much lighter all of a sudden! This is so relieving!"
"That was grief. And yes the energy clumped around your chest has dispersed."
"I can breathe better… this is amazing…"
Kaleo gave a nod. The flickering fire scattered light around her face wrinkles. "Now your emotions over the massacre have been dealt with. But I can tell there are individual deaths that have impacted you. Ones you carry much guilt over."
Faces of past friends flickered through her mind and she felt her fists tighten. "It all feels buried deep. That must be how I dealt with things. I didn't face them, I stopped thinking about them so I could keep doing what I had to."
"It all slows you down, and becomes more apparent in time. Sometimes it makes us lash out, or develop bad habits, or even recreate a terrible situation until we're forced to face what it is we're hiding from." Kaleo stood and then extended a hand "come, you need a break to adjust."
They went outside where the fumes weren't choking. Heidi sat on the front step, getting used to feeling so different. She'd endured her past for so long that she'd not noticed how much of a burden it truly was. It was now dark and cicadas were ringing. She took a deep breath of fresh air that reminded her of home. It was all so relieving now.
Kanoa and Kaleo were standing in the clearing and talking to each other. It looked like they were going to have a duel.
"After helping Heidi, perhaps it's time I helped you. With dueling." Sure enough Kaleo turned against the young man and tables faded to view. "I've been looking forward to this after our last match."
"After you," Kanoa said as they drew their hands and the shields took shape.
"I'll begin by charging with Mujun! Gekko MAX." Kaleo's table shone with light and darkness. "Turn end."
Kanoa charged nature and ended. Kaleo charged with a Holyend twinpact card and passed the turn once more.
"I charge and summon Yattar Wan, Adventuring Fox!" His cute clothed fox jumped out with an arm up and tongue lolling. "I charge Huckle Kirin for more mana."
"Then I'll charge with Heaven's Rosia… and summon Majo, Nesting in Moonlight." A draped being wearing an animal skull emerged from shadows. "I end my turn and return a shield to my hand." One of her panels safely dissolved and the old woman added her card and smiled.
Heidi watched with head in her hand. There's so many new cards for me to learn… It's like being a beginner all over again. Kaleo seemed to duel with a mix of light, water and darkness.
+ Kyoshi - Avatar: The Last Airbender Soundtrack
Kanoa drew "I charge Dandy Eggplant… I summon Ragmal, Spirit Knight! I send him to the mana zone, along with your Majo." His green stalk-fiend came and went. Instead of ordering an attack he passed his turn.
Kaleo simply charged with another light-darkness card and passed the turn.
"Alright! I summon Sasoris, Dragon Edge and bring out Boaroaxe, Evil Tomohawk!" The masked green squirrel raised a paw. Chains whipped up around them and crackled with electricity, opening a portal to hyperspace and lowering the weapon into its wielder's grip. "Now I can bring out Kabra Katabra from my mana zone and take to my hand… Supernova Jupiter King Empire!"
"He's gonna try to summon his phoenix!" Heidi leaned forward excitedly. With only them around to watch he was willing to give it another shot.
"If that'll be all…" the old woman drew after a curt nod from her opponent. "I summon Death King, Destruction King of Darkness!" A blocker on 6000 emerged. It was one of the strangest-looking creatures Heidi had ever seen: a statue surrounded in police tape and with multiple floating hands of dark and light. It was a double-breaker; Kaleo ended her turn.
The duel was being carefully set up. At any point a whole lot of attacking and shield-breaking was bound to go down.
"Are you ready? Here I come!" Kanoa announced. "I cast Antique Dragon Ruins to send Death King to your mana!" Moss covered the creature and it eroded from sight. "Sasoris, ike! I use Boaroaxe to bring out Dandy Eggplant! I send a Ragmal in my mana to the graveyard to replace it with a Marinyan in my deck! Let's go!" The critter flew and swung, glass flew wildly. "Yattar Wan, ike! Kabra Katabra, ike!" His fox and wild veggies jumped from different directions. Air and glass rattled Kaleo's beads.
She lowered her arm "no triggers."
"Then you have one shield left. This next turn of yours will be the decisive one."
"Yes," she gave a wide smile. "While my spiritual talents don't give me much advantage in a duel… I don't need a vision to tell me you're going to lose… I summon Loneliness, Treasure-Taking Moon and end." A gold-white mecha soldier on 6500 appeared. It wasn't even a blocker.
Kanoa was unimpressed, but didn't lower his guard. "Very well… I evolve Yattar Wan, Kabra Katabra and Dandy Eggplant into Supernova Jupiter King Empire!" A feeling of untamable prehistory filled the area. Green light blazed and tree roots burst through the ground and spread. Pollen filled the air, almost like snow. The tiger head of its lower body snarled, its pincers flexed and it crossed leaf-swords under its gold helmet. Kanoa smiled with both relief and pride as he stood below his giant phoenix.
"He's not aiming to dragsolution but wants to finish it with Jupiter instead." Kaleo wisely observed.
"Sasoris attacks your final shield!" The squirrel jumped and swatted glass to the side.
"Oshiokimoon activates… Loneliness now lets me bring out Moon, Destruction, Satan and Angel!" The huge mecha was another light-darkness hybrid with 11,500 power. A blocker and double-breaker. "I replenish two shields from my deck." Glass reassembled.
Kanoa stared down her two creatures and hesitated "Jupiter attacks! Meteorburn! I re-summon Kabra Katabra out from underneath it, then use its effect to add Ragmal to my hand!" The phoenix flung its blades and the glass pieces were scattered sky-high.
"Double Oshiokimoon! I can use both their abilities! Loneliness lets me summon Waltz, Almost Transparent!" A soldier with 9000 power joined her growing army, yet another blocker and double-breaker. "Satan and Angel automatically breaks two of your shields!"
Kanoa was once confident in his victory, but against her powerful blockers he had to end his turn.
Kaleo drew "I cast Mujun! Gekko MAX. Since I have both light and darkness creatures in play I regain another shield and automatically destroy your chosen phoenix!" The surrounding green light brightened before fading. The roots shrank back and the ground closed up. Kanoa grit his teeth as he lost his evolution and the cards under it. Kaleo dipped her head "My new shield now gets sent to my hand… however that triggers Oshiokimoon all over again, allowing Satan and Angel to break another shield automatically."
"This old lady's really good!" Heidi exclaimed.
"You triggered Leaf Storm Trap! I send my Kabra and your Waltz to our mana zones!"
Kaleo was surprised he wasn't targeting her strongest creature before a smile of understanding spread across her face.
"With Waltz gone I can't regain a shield by attacking... good choice." Kaleo pointed with her taloned hand "Loneliness double breaks your shields!"
Kanoa crossed his forearms and ducked for cover. "Saved just in time. Samba Totem!" A mystery totem appeared in play tapped. "A gift from Meilani. It must be attacked by your creatures if you want to attack."
"Not that card!" Kaleo hung her head "Very well... I'll attack it." Her biggest monster lay waste to it with a devastating blast.
Kanoa grinned "It's not just that Waltz gains you a shield, but Satan and Angel automatically takes a shield from both of us at the end of your turns, so I was prepared for different outcomes. Sasoris is still in play, so unless you have a Ninja Strike this is game over."
"Well done, Kanoa." she smiled and they removed their cards from the tables.
This spiritual treatment with Kaleo felt like going to a therapist. The only times Heidi had gone to a therapist was when she was too young to understand what was going on. But minus all the incense, breathing and clearing of the mind… revisiting her darkest moments and talking about them seemed a lot like therapy. Which she guessed she needed.
"Come by after lunch tomorrow, Heidi?" Kaleo asked later as they shared wooden cups of tea.
"We're not done?"
"Not at all."
Kanoa led her back to the village centre and to a guest hut the chief had prepared. They wished each other goodnight and he went off into the darkness. Past hanging beads she saw a great big snoring shape, Malo.
By the window Dominic leaned up "How was the spiritual healing?"
"Intense… I can't believe that old lady really has mystic powers…"
"You think so?"
"I felt things in her hutt. I don't know if it was just all the herbs she had burning…" Heidi noticed her bed was animal pelts over heaped feathers. Her two companions had thinner beds tribesmen had dragged in after realising she'd brought company. She didn't want any extra priviliges but it was too late to say anything now. Heidi fell onto her bedding and pulled over the blanket. Compared to sleeping on bunched blankets in the coal province and that hammock on her pirate ship, this was heavenly.
"Heidi, I have to tell you something…" Dominic started.
"Huh…?" She felt like she was already losing herself to sleep.
"Ah… nevermind…"
That wasn't like him. She didn't have the energy to open her mouth. She went to sleep and by morning couldn't remember to ask.
The next day she woke up later than everyone else. No one had bothered to wake her and the hutt was empty. Heidi took a moment to lie there and blink, still getting used to the difference of removing all that emotional weight. Suddenly she felt an eagerness to return to Kaleo's tent and fix even more of herself. However firstly, she arose and left for breakfast.
Her companions were eating at an outdoor table. Malo grinned at her through a mouthful of grapefruit. Dominic was picking through a bowl of forest nuts. They gave each other a dude-nod, the wordless and typical way they'd greet each other back on the Lady Lachrymose. Heidi sat down on a stump and started reaching for tomato salad and a bowl of grains. A teenage girl jumped into her view from across the table. She was a beautiful Islander girl with Frangipani flowers in her flowing hair.
"Very nice to meet you! I don't know if he's mentioned me yet since he's so quiet when it comes to himself. I'm Meilani, Kanoa's soul flame."
Heidi was speechless.
"So that means girlfriend?" Dominic asked.
"Our souls were destined to unite in this lifetime and be together."
"So girlfriend? Got it." Dominic reached for the sliced passionfruit.
"Kei te pehea koe!" Malo suddenly bellowed with much festivity. "We welcome you, partner of Kanoa!" He kept eating and Meilani smiled, reaching for things and joining the feast as well.
Kanoa appeared at her side with a painfully abashed look on his face.
"How can you be Kanoa's partner?" Heidi was finally able to ask "He's so serious and moody. And you seem so light-hearted and friendly!"
Meilani started laughing at that. Kanoa sighed and joined them beside her, he kept his head down and brought small pieces of food to his mouth. Dominic was also quiet, but with Malo and Meilani smiling and laughing up a storm they couldn't be in brighter company. Heidi's more outgoing side soon resurfaced and she joined the chatter and story-telling. At some point Kanoa and Meilani started holding hands under the table and didn't let go throughout breakfast.
The five of them walked along the beach for some hours after, Meilani skipping ahead through white sand. Heidi felt healthier than she had in months.
"When farming started in the outer nations people excluded a lot of nutritional variety in their diets." Kanoa explained. "They were eating the same things all the time. But out here none of the foods are processed, we get plenty of sunlight and physical activity."
"Guess there's advantages to the old ways after all." Heidi conceded.
Afterwards Kanoa left to do more building work. Meilani went with Malo on the fishing canoes and they sailed out to sea. For whatever reason Dominic wasn't interested. He wasn't much of a people person, instead he did some string-weaving and wood-chipping. Heidi stayed with him cause she felt bad. She fashioned a seashell necklace that was kinda lame and when the boats came back she was the first to jump out and volunteer.
Sailing under the sun was wonderful. The wind blowing and fast speed of the canoe as it sliced along the water. The colourful sea life, a school of them following along and diving in-out the water. The men with her pulled on strings and directed their movement with ease. They showed Heidi how to do it and it was the most fun she'd had in a long time. Her new touristy clothes were getting stretched, sandy and faded but she didn't care. Everyone in this tribe wore the same stuff anyway.
After lunch she and Kanoa made their way to Kaleo's hut once more.
"Do you think she has the answers you need to fix your connection with Jupiter?" Heidi asked.
"If the problem is something inside me, then yes."
After their host greeted and invited them in she led Heidi to a backroom. There was no smokey incense in here, but what looked like a massage stretchor. Or so she'd thought, until she glimpsed the open book and plastic container of sterilized needles.
"Acupuncture!" Heidi exclaimed. "You can't be serious!"
"It's entirely safe and I know what I'm doing. This practice will open energy blockages and allow for your suppressed memories to come through. Then we can release them properly, together." The old woman saw the unease in Heidi's expression. "Trust me."
"Okay."
She blocked the fear of needles piercing skin from her mind. Accepting a wooden cup, she drank from the tea then lay down as instructed. Heidi closed her eyes and took some more deep breaths. The first needle went in with the tiniest pinch. Others she could barely feel, and only as light touches going in. Soon there was buzzing and a sinking feeling. Her eyelids began twitching. She could've been falling through herself and Kaleo's soothing voice spoke: let them come…
Suddenly the visions flew at her.
The very first time she'd seen death. It was Wembly, who'd nobly offered to duel in Heidi's place for fear of her safety. They were standing on a street and surrounded by tall buildings. The top-hatted lieutenant won the duel and made Wembly beg for his life before burning him to death anyway. Heidi felt enormous guilt because she'd dueled the same man less than a week ago and spared his life.
But why did you spare his life?
"Because I didn't know him. I didn't know he might kill someone."
So this is not your fault. You're not a superhero. You must accept your limitations.
At that moment Heidi held in all the grief of his death. She saw herself screaming and running after her foe as he made his escape on his cohort's motorbike.
Yes, acknowledge it. Accept it. Now let it go.
Another sense of relief. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes; they pressed onward. This beach didn't belong to the island, its sand was golden and it stretched far to a couple of wharves.
So where are we now?
"This is the first time I ever killed someone in a duel."
The top-hatted man…
"Yes. I did what I should have done the first time we met."
You don't seem to regret it.
"I don't. He was a bad guy. He would've killed me, or someone else."
You're most likely right.
"But since that duel… I killed ordinary humans in duels who were working for the lieutenants. My old teacher, Narciel. The deformed-headed guy who chased me through that cinema." Flashes of the duels went by, she saw the mass cave-in of the Dawn of the Phoenix temple. "People would've died in that accident, and they didn't know their leader was working for Urobach… Iwate was killed by a lieutenant I chased. He was luring me and I never found him, instead Iwate did. Soroban found me, and then Gatekeeper Pluto found her…"
Another horrific scene of violence. A friend standing beside her one second, and the next she was splattered everywhere like a popped balloon. Then Heidi was scrubbing herself clean in the ocean, leaving hours later in a trance.
"If I'd had better self-control… I wouldn't have ran out like I did and the others wouldn't have followed me."
That's true. However, there may be more you're overlooking…
"Narciel would've betrayed his companions anyway. They'd just attacked the school but nobody died because everyone was in the stadium watching me duel. And the first time I ran off… I injured a lieutenant, and it allowed our side to get information on all the lieutenants. So people may have died because of me, but a lot of people are still alive because of me…"
You were a girl from rural suburbs realizing that your destiny would not be straight-forward. You witnessed death and felt responsible. You wanted to do more and didn't know how.
"Yeah…"
Well now, by addressing and understanding your psychological triggers, you can see situations clearly and make better judgments that won't put yourself and others at risk.
"Yes…" Another wave of acceptance and relief.
That's good. So what's next?
"Well the more I sort through… the more I uncover. And don't even get me started on the coal province. My first boyfriend Timothy… I have regrets for how I treated him. There was a lot of lashing out. He was more sensitive than I was. When we were flying around in Engyo's prototype cruiser, I felt unsafe because of our planet's situation, guilty that I couldn't do enough as a hero and then ashamed of myself. Grief over the deaths I'd seen. I was lying to myself to cope, living in a dream world that eventually came apart, and just had no direction at all. Everything compounded and made everything else worse. We haven't even got to Penelope yet."
We'll go through one thing at a time. There's no rush. That's how this works.
"My first close friend since leaving home. I was forced to injure her because she wouldn't stop trying to beat me, to save her Grandma. Her last living family member. She'd do anything to not be alone in the world, and I just wanted her to know she wasn't alone. She had me. Then I watched Urobach kill her."
But you did everything you reasonably could to help her, right?
"I did."
You have to grieve then let go. It takes time, of course. But you must press on.
The thought of Penelope caused a stab wound through her heart, but Heidi had to accept that at least her friend wasn't suffering anymore.
What happened in the coal province?
"All our luck turned to shit at once. Our cruiser was attacked and damaged beyond repair. We landed in the slums, then got robbed at knifepoint. That was the second time someone had a weapon on me, since I was held at gunpoint and put in a government holding car some months prior… taken to a facility for tests. But in the slums we were homeless and dependent on strangers to take care of us. We survived a shoot-out, a hostage situation, a building siege, I had a bazooka fired at a car I was in."
Sounds like a warzone.
"It was. Eventually the government came in with tanks to get the triads under control. We got chased by people who wanted to harm us. For those months we often went hungry and when we did eat, the food was out-of-date. When we did sleep, it was in uncomfortable places. We almost died in a car chase…"
But here you are safe. You've left the war and poverty behind you.
"Yes. It's much safer now…" Heidi felt her eyes scrunch as visions swirled before her. "What am I supposed to face now?"
What do you see?
Heidi had seen so many people get injured, but what she next saw was earlier then she could've expected.
"It's my parents…"
Two affectionate blurs focused into the adventurous young couple she'd seen in photographs.
"Mum… Dad… What did Narciel mean when he said I sounded like my Mum? And the Mad Duelist wanted revenge because my Dad stopped him?" Those two fallen enemies flashed by in the background. A third came closer, emerging through the memory of her parents.
Heidi jolted upright in the massage bed, flicking a needle across the room and making Kaleo pull back. She was heaving and covered in sweat. Kanoa stepped closer in concern.
"Dominic. His father was a pirate too. They attacked my parents' cruise ship during a storm. He's the reason they died…"
『AN: Boy howdy, it has been a lil while. My exams are done and finally I'm on holidays again. Right now I'm caravanning around Queensland, going further north than I've ever ventured before! I was rather hasty with choosing the soundtrack for this duel, but made sure it was acceptable and put in the right spot. I mean, I have already chosen Avatar: The Last Airbender for battle music. But yeah, whatevs. Thanks a lot Acuma for reviewing my latest chapters. And thank you to Shuriken as well. For a day or two I thought having no internet had caused this computer to 'eat' the last few pages of this so I'm so glad a rewrite wasn't necessary. With any luck I'll update this again soon.』
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