I've been wanting to write this chapter for a while now, in fact the idea of it is what lead to me writing this fic in the first place. It's gone through a few re-writes but I'm reasonably happy with it now. I'm still not sure if I should have thrown in a few more world as cameos but I also don't want this chapter to bee too long either. Sorry if a world you wanted to see didn't make it but there will be other opportunities I promise.
There is one little thing I'd like to mention before I continue. A while ago I got a PM from LanternLover23. She said she like my story so far and requested that I include an OC of her own. I've never gotten a request like this before but I accepted and she does indeed make an appearance in this chapter. So Lantern, If you're reading this, thank you for your kind words and I hope I've done your character justice.
Now, to battle!
Chapter 15
Hunter looked at all three of them in turn, surprise and disbelief written all over his face. "How...when...WHAT!?"
"Alright Hunter where are we?!" demanded Sasuke.
"It's gotta be his secret base." said Naruto, then he looked out the window "What the!?"
Hunter tried to obstruct his view "Erm...nothing to see here just er...erm..."
The rest of team seven had followed Naruto's gaze and now they were all staring out the window at their world getting smaller and smaller as the ship they were on moved through the Ocean Between.
"I...did not expect that." said Kakasi.
"What...is that." breathed Sakura.
Hunter's brain was working overtime to try and lie his way out of this "Um...it's an optical illusion! Erm swamp gas ...is... is refracting the...er...light from ...Venus?"
They all gave Hunter an unconvinced look.
"You're not going to buy it are you?" he asked, resignation in his voice. "Alright. The truth. You're not in your world anymore."
There was a stunned silence as the three genin and jonin took this in.
"Then...where are we?" asked Naruto.
Hunter spread his arms wide. "Welcome to the Ocean Between. It's basically the space between worlds and it's very ocean like. Hence the name. But if your being more specific, you're on a ship."
"Your ship?" asked Kakashi.
"No. It belongs to the Nobodies."
"Oh, I remember." Naruto chimed in "You said you were hunting them. I thought you just made them up?"
"Well, I didn't. I planned all of today to draw them in. I mean, a spectacle like that how could they not notice?"
"So it wasn't all just for your twisted amusement." said Sasuke.
Hunter shrugged "Well, that too." the four ninjas all feel over backwards. "Anyway. A Nobody took the bait and when he tried to jump out I hitch hiked. Now how did you all end up here?"
"Hmmm." Naruto scratched his chin. "Well, the last thing I remember before we got here...I grabbed on to your leg."
"And I grabbed Naruto's arm." said Sasuke.
"And I held on to Sasuke!" Sakura practically squealed.
"And I grabbed on to Sakura." said Kakashi. "Well, that solves that mystery and a few others too. You're not from our world are you?"
Hunter shook his head "Nope. Now as much as I'd love to tell you more, we've got work to do."
"Hold up. What do you mean we?"asked Sakura "We're not part of this craziness! Send us back to the Leaf. Now!"
"Sakura does have a point." said Kakashi "The Hidden Leaf isn't involved in your fight with these 'Nobodies'. Plus seeing as how you're still a wanted criminal, we're not obliged to help you."
Hunter crossed his arms "Oh. Is that so? Then how are you going to get home without my help, hmmmm?"
Naruto gave a growl of anger "Not funny Hunter! Send us back right now! Just open up one of those portal things or we'll make you send us back!"
Hunter raised an eyebrow at him "Cute. First off, you couldn't beat me when you had an entire village helping you. Now there's just four of you, and believe me I'm being generous adding you three nimrods to the count." Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto all gave him an annoyed look that he completely ignored. "And second, my portals are dangerous to unprotected humans. If you go in one end there's a fifty-fifty chance you won't come out. You're lucky you got here in one piece."
Everyone was quiet for a moment, then Kakashi gave a defeated sigh and said "Looks like we're helping."
"What!" Sakura screeched "Kakashi-sensai, you can't seriously trust him! He's not even human!" Hunter briefly fantasised about throwing her out into space.
"It's not like we have much choice." Sasuke pointed out.
"Humph, just as long as he doesn't do that mind merge again." huffed Naruto.
"Deal." agreed Hunter "Your brain is a dump anyway."
At first Naruto nodded in satisfaction, then he finished processing what Hunter said "Hey!"
"Alright, now that that's settled." Kakashi clapped his hands together, drawing all eyes to him. "The first thing we need to do i-"
"Oh no!" Hunter suddenly appeared in front of him and placed a finger over his lips (or where he guessed his lips were) "No no no. I'm calling the shots now buddy."
"We're not taking orders from you." said Naruto. His two team mates nodded in agreement.
"You will if you want to make it back home. You're in my world now, not your world." Hunter took a few steps away from them, towards a large mechanical door that dominated the far wall "And I've got friends on the other side!"
The door opened and five Dusks and a Berserker walked in. Hunter looked round over his shoulder, then back at the ninjas. "Just to clarify, these are not the friends I was referring to."
The Berserker lifted its claymore up over its head and brought it crashing down on Hunter who caught it with both hands. While he was immobilised the Dusks streaked past and went for the others. Naruto was momentarily paralysed as two of the unreal monsters squiggled through the air towards him, then with a crackle of lightning Sasuke shot past, hitting one of the Nobodies with a chidori. The thing shattered like glass and Sasuke turned, giving his rival a smug smile.
"You just gunna stand there idiot, or are you going to-oofff!"
Sasuke was cut off when the Bezerkers hammer hit him in the side, knocking him down. He looked up and saw the hammer was in Hunters hands. Apparently he'd wrenched it from the Bezerkers grasp and in doing so he'd swung it round behind him and hit Sasuke.
"Opps, sorry." said Hunter, insincerely.
"If you three aren't too busy!" Kakashi side stepped a Dusk then he threw a kunai at its head. The blade passed harmlessly through. 'Hmmm. Immune to conventional weapons yet Sasuke's chidori worked perfectly.' he thought. "Naruto! Sasuke! These creatures are only vulnerable to ninjutsu so conserve your chakra and don't miss!"
The two boys nodded in acknowledgement, then they heard a noise and saw two Dusks slowly walking towards them. As Sasuke charged up another chidori Naruto saw that Sakura was in trouble. Unlike the two of them she had no real offensive ninjutsu which was probably why a lone Dusk was closing in on her.
Sasuke noticed too "Go! I can handle these two!"
Naruto nodded and summoned a Shadow Clone who help him shape his chakra into a Rasengan before vanishing. Once the jutsu was stable Naruto ran to Sakura's aid. At the same time Sasuke shot forward at high speed towards the two Dusks. Moving with unnatural speed and flexibility the Nobodies slithered out of Sasuke's path. The Uchiha heir's eyes widened in shock. The chidori was a powerful assassination jutsu but it had one big weakness; once you start running you can't change direction. One of the Dusks grabbed Sasuke's arm, bringing him to a halt. The other slithered across the floor and tripped Naruto up, his Rasengan impacting uselessly against the metal floor. Further away Sakura's mind was racing, trying to think of any lesson from her academy days that could get her out of this. The Dusk in front of her spasmed violently, then it darted forwards. Instinctively she shut her eyes and brought up her arms to defend herself, then she heard a loud clang.
Gingerly she opened her eyes and saw the Dusk crushed under the Bezerkers hammer, right before the two shattered and faded away. The two Dusks circling Naruto and Kakashi were both blasted by two dark bolts, while the one entangled with Sasuke was crushed by a hook on a chain.
They all looked over at Hunter, who was standing before the body of the defeated Bezerker. "See, now that is why I didn't want any of you here." the Berserkers corpse faded away "You're completely out of your depth so now I've got to get what I came here for and keep you alive."
"We could have handled them if you'd told us how to fight them!" said Sakura, angrily.
"Don't get snippy with me pinky. You're the most useless one in this bunch. Do you even have any talent at all?"
Sakura looked down at the floor, then Naruto stepped up to defend her "Hey, don't you talk to her like that! Sakura's the smartest person I know, she got the top grades in every academy exam!"
Hunter flung his arms out "Does this look like an academy to you!?" he let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a second he spoke again "Nobodies aren't like any enemy you've fought, and I don't mean that they're not human. They don't feel. No pity, no remorse, no fear or anything. They won't show restraint, they won't get arrogant and make dumb mistakes like Orochimaru. And they won't wait for you to charge up you super attacks either."
"We did alright against you." countered Naruto.
"Naruto you did terribly against me. All this time, you've never even really hurt me. And I was just playing with you. Ya think this lot'll pull their punches?" Hunter paused for a moment. When no one else challenged him he nodded and said "Alright then. Now that's settled, onwards!"
He turned on the spot and ran out the door that the Nobodies had used to enter. After a moments pause Team Seven followed him.
"Where are we going?" Naruto yelled as they ran through the twisting white corridors.
"No idea!" Hunter yelled back.
"He's joking right?" asked Sakura. When no one answered she let out a nervous groan.
Up ahead Hunter rounded a corner, then they heard him yell and he reappeared running back towards them. "Not this way! NOT THIS WAY!" he cried as he ran past them. They briefly wondered why, then a whole swarm of Dusks came tearing round the corner, squiggling through the air like flying snakes.
The ninjas all gave frightened yelps then they turned and ran.
"Are they still after us?!" asked Sakura after a minute.
Naruto looked back over his shoulder "Yes!"
"Where's Hunter?!" asked Kakashi.
"Over here!" The team stopped at a four way intersection and looked down the left path. Hunter was standing a little further ahead in front of a large open doorway, waving for them to follow. Needing no further encouragement they ran down the short corridor, past Hunter and into the room beyond. As soon as they were all through Hunter followed them in, closed the door and blasted the console for good measure.
"That ought to hold 'em." he said to himself.
"Erm...Hunter."
Hearing Naruto's voice Hunter turned round. "Ho-ly snap!" The room they were in was massive, the size of a football stadium at least and it was filled with glass display cases containing just about any object you can imagine, plus a hundred more you can't.
Hunter was absolutely fascinated by all of it and wasted no time in stalking past the cases, examining each and every one. "Holy Hand grenade...Shrine to Andraste. Shrine to Khorne. Shrine to Cthulhu...an original copy of the 'Origin of the Species'...Detective comics number one...the arms of Failbaddon?"
"What...is all this?" Sakura wondered aloud as she examined a case containing a old looking sword.
"Trophy room?" suggested Sasuke.
"It feels more like a museum." said Kakashi as he looked at a case that held a metal mask with two 'handle bars' on either side of the head. There was a small card in front of the item but it was in a language Kakashi couldn't understand.
"Cyber Man head." said Hunter, apparently reading Kakashi's mind.
"You can read that?" asked the silver haired jonin.
"Yeah, apparently I'm omnilinguistic. I can read and understand any language."
"Hey Hunter, what's this!?" Hunter looked over at Naruto and froze. The blonde was standing by an opened display and in his arms he was holding a large leathery egg. Several forgotten memories instantly flooded back into Hunter's mind as the top of the egg flowered open.
"Naruto!"
Something shot out of the top of the egg straight at Naruto's face. Fortunately his ninja reflexes kicked in and he managed to catch it before it got hold of his face, but its tail managed to wrap around his neck.
"Arrgh! Hel-Get it-arrk!"
Hunter ran up to Naruto, put his hand on the face hugger and zapped it with a powerful electric current. Both it and Naruto started to spasm as the electricity overpowered their muscles, forcing the creature to let go. With Naruto now free Hunter tossed the spider like parasite high into the air and blasted it with a dark bolt. For a brief moment the hugger hung suspended in mid air, then it faded into darkness.
Naruto gingerly rubbed his neck as he stared at the space where the creature had been.
"Don't touch anything." said Hunter.
Sasuke made his trade mark smirk, then his eyes were caught by a small gold ring in the case next to him. It look so plain, yet so...enticing.
"Precious." he whispered to himself as he slowly reached out.
Then someone smacked him on the hand. Snapping out of his mesmerised state he saw that Hunter was now standing next to him. "Don't. Touch." he repeated, more firmly this time.
Ignoring Sasuke's angry look Hunter started examining the various objects, looking for something useful. "Let's see. Tiberium crystal. Useless...Cylon arm. No. Book on Necromancy, ew defiantly no. Excalibur...hmm. Tempting but no. Ah, Chaos Emerald! Score!" Hunter opened up the case and took out a blood red gem the size of his fist.
"And how is that more useful than the sword!" exclaimed Naruto.
"The emerald's a teleporter. If worse comes to worse, then this is our emergency out button."
"Then why not use it to send us home now?" asked Sasuke.
Hunter sheepishly rubbed the back of his head "Umm. I don't know how it works."
All four of them gave him a deadpan look.
"You know what it is but you don't know how to use it?" said Naruto, accusingly.
"Do you know what a cannon is?"
"Well, yes."
"Do you know how it works?"
Now it was Naruto's turn to look sheepish.
"That's what I thought." said Hunter. "Now, I have come up with a new plan. We...are going to take this ship!"
Everyone blinked a few times waiting for the punch line. When it never came they realised he was serious.
"Hunter, this ship is huge, full of Nobodies and there are five of us." Kakashi was the first to point out the plans most obvious flaws.
"Exactly!" Hunter was not deterred "Taking this ship is absolute suicide, we'd be slaughtered in minutes. That's what makes it so brilliant, they'll never expect us to do something this stupid!"
Before anyone could protest further he ran off into the field of displays, looking at each one in turn for a useable weapon. "No, no, no ...BINGO!"
There was a sound of smashing glass off in the distance.
"And there's another problem Hunter!" Kakashi yelled in Hunters direction "All those Nobodies will still be waiting for us outside. Even you can't fight that many!"
"That's why we're using the back door!" Hunter yelled back.
Everyone turned to look at the other end of the room. There was no door, there wasn't even a window. It was just a solid piece of blank metal.
"There isn't a back door." observed Naruto.
"There's about to be!" Hunter's voice was now right behind them, which caused the group to turn to face him. Hunter was holding a massive futuristic looking cannon. It was the same size as a man and looked like it weighed a tone but Hunter was carrying it like it was made of cardboard. A long flexible metal hose came out of the cannons rear and connected to a equally huge backpack Hunter had awkwardly strapped to his back. Suddenly the device began emitting a slow wine and the blue power core located just back from the guns barrel began to glow and spark.
"I'd step out the way if I was you. Sakura you just hold still!"
All four of them jumped out of the way just as a ball of white energy left the barrel, shot across the room and hit the far wall where it detonated like a tiny sun. When the smoke cleared there was now a decent sized hole leading to another corridor. While the others were still hiding behind cover Hunter charged out, turned left and fired the cannon again yelling "This is my BOOM stick!"
Team seven slowly emerged from cover, staring after Hunter with deadpan expressions.
"We're being lead by an absolute lunatic." said Sasuke.
"Yep." agreed Kakashi "But that lunatic is also our only way back home, so let's get after him before we lose him."
"No danger of that." said Sakura "We just have to follow the explosions."
After several minutes of Hunter running through the ship with Hunter blasting everything that moved they came to a door that Hunter was convinced lead to the bridge. He reached down and unclipped something from his waist.
"Hello daddy. Hello Mum." he then threw the whatever-it-was at the door "Ma-ma-ma-ma Melta-Bomb!" the grenade exploded in a perfect orange sphere that melted a huge hole in the door and the wall, which Hunter instantly dived through.
There were several flashes of light as the plasma cannon fired and more sounds typical of a fight. When the noise stopped Hunter poked his head through the hole and said "All clear." before disappearing back into the room.
Taking care not to burn themselves on the still hot metal team seven followed Hunter onto the ships bridge, a large square room dominated by a viewing screen at the front with the rest of the wall space being taken up by consoles and panels which were themselves covered in blinking lights.
Hunter carelessly threw the plasma cannon aside and went straight for the captains chair in the middle. "Awesome" he said to himself as he settled in. "Right. Sakura! I want you on comms." he pointed at the girl, then at one of the consoles over on the right "Set us to receive only. I don't want the other Nobodies to know we're in control here."
"What other Nobodies?" asked Naruto.
Hunter scowled at him and pointed at the viewing screen. Outside was the multicoloured Ocean Between and floating just ahead of them were at least ten other ships. Most were of the destroyer variety, the same as the ship they were on but there were two skyscraper sized battleships that looked like horizontal clock towers. All these ships were facing away from them so it looked like their ship was picking up the rear of a convoy.
"Oh." said Naruto.
"Oh." agreed Hunter "Naruto, you're on weapons." Naruto's eyes lit up as he ran up to the indicated console "Don't fire until I say so!" Hunter quickly added, earning a disappointed groan from the blond.
"Sasuke, you're on sensors and Kakashi, you've got engines. That one ...hmm...there." Kakashi walked over to the section that Hunter pointed at. On the screen in front of him there was a display of the ship cut up in to various sections and a bar just to the left. Currently it was less than a quarter full and coloured green.
"That's our engine status." he explained "Keep your eye on that and yell if it goes into the red."
"What happens if it goes red?" the jonin asked.
"We explode." everyone froze as what Hunter said sank in while the man (well...Heartless) himself fiddled about with the chairs arm mounted computer in an attempt to transfer helm control. "Come on, come on...got it. Now what is...oh yes." by some small miracle Hunter found the ships database and sitting at the bottom of the screen was a small button that read 'Copy to local disk?'
"Score!" Hunter pressed it and sat back as the ships data began copying itself and after a brief pause a purple disk popped out of the side of the console. Hunter instantly grabbed it and stored it in his jacket inside pocket. What followed was an uneventful hour of following the other ships in the small flotilla. Naruto was snoozing after fifteen minutes, Sakura hadn't taken her eyes off Sasuke in who knows how long and even Kakashi had somehow managed to look more bored than usual. They were all so used to the quiet they jumped when Hunter yelled "Finally!"
"What!?" snapped Sakura.
"The other ships are dropping back into reality." said Hunter. The others looked at the viewing screen and saw that the ships in front of them were starting to disappear. "Dropping out in three. Two. One." the sea of colour on the view screen broke open like a curtain, falling back and leaving a star filled void in its place.
"Where are we?" asked Sakura.
Hunter gave an annoyed huff "We're in space, that's the extent of my knowledge. Anyway, your boyfriend's the one on sensors, ask him!"
"Erm, right there's..."Sasuke stared intently at the screen for a moment. "There's ten blue triangles."
"That's the Nobody fleet." reasoned Hunter "Anything else?"
"There's a...really big blue triangle further away. I...I think were heading right for it."
Naruto squinted his eyes at the view screen "You mean that white thing off in the distance?"
"Oh...that's not good." said Hunter as he realised just what they were looking at.
"What?" asked Sasuke.
Hunter gulped "Here's a hint. That ain't no moon."
As they approached the distant object Team Seven slowly realised what Hunter meant. The object they and the other ships were approaching was a huge square space station. The battleships in front of them must have been half a kilometre long, but this thing made them look like insects in comparison. Like most Nobody ships it had a style vaguely reminiscent of a cathedral or clock tower. A few tall spires poked out from the top along with the Nobody symbol that sat smack in the middle like a crown jewel. Right below that was a vertical trench in the otherwise flawless hull that contained a huge hole that could only be the main weapon.
"What...is it?" asked Naruto.
"It's a ship." Hunter didn't take his eyes of the screen as he spoke "That things got enough fire power to wipe out a whole city."
"Why would they even build something like that?" asked Kakashi.
"From what I gather the Nobodies have been around forever, but they've always operated in the background." Hunter turned to face them all, his expression serious "Looks like they're getting ready to step out of the shadows."
There were several soft beeps from Sakura's panel. When she looked at it a line of text appeared. "Erm...Hunter?"
"Well, what does it say?" he asked impatiently.
"I...er..." She nervously turned to look at him "I can't read this."
Hunter was suddenly overcome by the urge to hit himself "Of course you can't. Fantastic." On the view screen two destroyers broke off from the rest and took up position on their side of them. "Naruto. Now would be a good time to start shooting."
"But I don't know how!" Naruto protested.
"Just start pushing buttons!" A battleship lowered into view, turning side on so it could bring all its guns to bear. "Naruto!"
Even though he had no clue what he was doing Naruto started franticly pushing buttons, hoping that one of them would do something. Now, many of you are no doubt familiar with Naruto's adventures and as such you'll all probably know that his success is due in no small part to a large amount of luck. It was this very force that came into play now as he managed to hit the 'all power to weapons', 'Lock on target', and the 'open fire' buttons all in the right order. The result was a spectacular light show as red bolts lanced out into the sides of the two unsuspecting destroyers. At such close range there was no time to evade and both vessels were horrifically damaged. The ship on the left started to fall through space, on fire and slowly disintegrating while the one on the right exploded, ripping itself in half.
"Nice shootin' tex!" Hunter congratulated him, then he made a quick forward hand movement over his chairs arm consol. At once the ship dived down under the battleship and shot forwards at full speed. The rest of the Nobody fleet was closing in, firing everything they had. Hunter's hand were practically a blur as he tried to avoid the incoming barrage. Several missiles struck along the starboard side, causing the ship to rock violently.
"We're now in the yellow!" announced Kakashi.
"What was that!" cried Sakura.
"They shot us, what do you think!?" Hunter yelled back. "Mr Sulu, return fire! Spock, I need a gap in their formation! Scotty, don't take your eyes of the engines. Uhura try to jam their communications!"
The four of them all exchanged confused looks. "Did you forget our names?" asked Sakura.
"SHHH! You're ruining my Star Treck fantasy here!"
"You are unbelievable!" yelled Naruto as another volley hit the ship.
"Quiet Sulu or I'll demote you to Checkov!" he turned his attention back to the right hand panel "Come on, come on! Don't do this to me now. Oh snap, why won't you work!?"
"What's wrong now!?" demanded Sasuke.
Hunter twisted in his chair and without so much as a hint of sarcasm said "I can't get the radio to work!"
Despite the desperate situation team seven all stopped what they were doing and gave him four deadpan looks. "He's kidding, right?" asked Sakura.
Apparently he wasn't as moments later he found the right button and music started playing. "When I die and they lay me to rest"
"Oh, I love this one!"
"Gonna go to the place that's the best. When I lay me down to die"
"Goin' on up to the Spirit in the sky!" Hunter made another movement on the controls that sent the ship veering violently to the left, then it dived up and down in a wave pattern a few times before doing a barrel role.
"This is brilliant!" yelled Hunter "How are you guys holding up?" He looked over his shoulder and found that his four passengers were all lying in a tangled groaning mess to the left.
"Where did you learn how to fly!?" said a very angry Sakura.
Hunter was about to say this was his first time but the radar consol started beeping ominously. Sasuke disentangled himself from his comrades and went over to investigate. "They're...pulling back?" he announced.
"Why would they...ut oh." Hunter pressed a button and the view screen changed to show what was behind them. The other Nobody ships were pulling way, and the Dreadnaught was repositioning to face them.
"They're not retreating." said Kakashi. "They're getting out of the way."
"That thing's only half built." said Hunter "There's no way that main gun is operational."
A red light started to build inside the massive hole that was the Dreadnaughts primary weapon.
"Snap. Abandon ship!" Hunter smashed his hand down on the control panel. Outside there were several small explosions as the section containing the ships bridge disconnected from the rest of the vessel, then rocketed away at high speed. Barely a second later the Dreadnaught fired a massive continuous burst of its laser cannon. The small destroyer was utterly engulfed in red light, there wasn't even time for it to explode, it simply disintegrated. Not wanting to give the Nobodies a second shot Hunter typed in another command and the escape pod vanished back into the Ocean Between.
"Well, I'd call that a success." said Hunter as he leaned back and placed his hand on the back of his head.
"Success!?" yelled Sakura "You let them blow up three quarters of the ship!"
"Seeing as how they would have blown up four quarters I think we came out pretty well."
"That was incredible!" Everyone looked round at Naruto who was apparently oblivious to the certain doom they'd narrowly escaped. "Hey Hunter, can we go back and blast more of them, that was awesome!"
"Go ba...Naruto we have no ship left! We are in a glorified escape pod, it has engines, life support and a ho..." Hunter stopped mid sentence and just stared off into the distance with a blank expression.
"And a what?" asked Kakashi.
"And a homing beacon."
A Nobody battleship materialised right in front of them.
"Snap!" Hunter hit the warp jump button again and the ship moved back into normal space. This time they were in an asteroid field. Not the safest place yes, but at least the battleship was gone.
"How long before they find us again?" asked Sasuke.
"'bout a minute. Maybe less. But we can hide here for-"
Another ship materialised before them. This was not one of the Nobodies however, it looked kind of like a giant green bird.
Hunter vaguely recognised the design and snapped his fingers as he tried to recall "Oh, I know who these guys are...they're the...erm..uh...It's on the tip of my tongue.."
There was a loud beep as a transmission played over the ships speakers. "Attention unknown vessel. You have violated the territory of the Romulan Star Empire. Prepare to be boarded."
"Romulan's that's it, they're the Romulans!" declared Hunter with joy.
"Should we...say something back?" asked Sakura nervously.
"Hmm? Right, yes, patch me through. Don't worry I know how to deal with these people."
Still not sure Sakura pushed what she hoped was the right button. A light beep followed as Hunter cleared his throat. "I am Aragahst! Master of Hounds! The lash of the Black legion! You and all your kind are COWARDS! Lowly Lickspittles! The-" Sakura closed the channel, much to Hunter's annoyance "What do you do that for!?"
"Are you trying to get us killed!?" she yelled back.
Suddenly the whole room rocked to the left, knocking everyone except Hunter off their feet.
"What was that!?" cried Naruto.
"I'm guessing that the people Hunter just insulted are shooting at us." said Kakashi.
"Relax, they won't destroy us." Hunter was oddly clam and reassuring despite the situation. "They'll torture us first, then execute us."
"T-torture!" Naruto stammered.
"Well, Pinky might get lucky and become an officers wife."
That was not what Sakura wanted to hear. Before Hunter could stop her she forced her hand into his pocket, took the chaos emerald and started shaking the thing while hysterically screaming "Work work work work! Get me back home!"
Hunter was rather bemused by this. He smiled and said "Relax. I was only jo-"
The emerald activated. Both it and Sakura were enveloped in a bright light, then they were gone.
"-king."
Everyone was total silent, staring at the space where Sakura had just been. Finally Hunter clapped his hands together and said "Well, that's the end of her. Come on, let's get out of here before the Space elves blast us."
"No! No no no. We can't leave without Sakura!" yelled Naruto "Wherever she went we need to go after her! Right Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully "Well, on the one hand I do have a responsibility to my students. On the other she is rather annoying." He noticed the murderous look that Naruto was giving him "Oh alright. Yes, we should rescue Sakura."
Hunter folded his arms "This isn't the marine core. I do leave men behind."
"Hunter!" Naruto growled threateningly.
"Look, even if I did want to go after her, this pod's too badly damaged."
"Which is your fault." Sasuke pointed out.
"So that just leaves portals. Remember what I said about them being dangerous?"
"I don't care! Sakura's our teammate and we won't leave her behind, right guys!?"
"What he said." Kakashi agreed half-heartedly while Sasuke only managed his trademark 'humph'.
Realising he was defeated Hunter gave up "Ok, ok. But if you come out the other side all homicidal and bent on world domination just remember I warned ya." Hunter raised his arms, creating a large black portal around the four of them. For him it was a normal trip, but for the three humans it was like being thrown in a tumble dryer without actually moving. The instant they re-materialised Naruto ran over to a nearby bush and threw up, Sasuke doubled over and Kakashi looked woozy.
"Well, that went better than I expected. Anyone feeling at all homicidal? Power-hungry? More than usual in Sasuke's case."
The young Uchiha shot him a look, which vanished when everyone heard Naruto scream. They looked round and saw that he was being attacked by several long metal tentacles with gaping maws filled with shark like teeth. Apparently these creatures were the 'bush' he'd just thrown up on. Hunter blasted them with a thunder spell. They spasmed a few times before dropping Naruto and slithering off.
"What were...w-" Whatever Naruto had been about to say died in his throat. With the monster attack over he finally had a chance to look at their new surroundings. They were standing on a hilltop overlooking a mechanical jungle that stretched as far as the eye could see. Stuck right in the middle of this strange landscape was a imposing fortress like structure that belched smoke from several large vents.
"That's...new." said Kakashi.
"Three guesses where Pinky is." said Hunter while pointing at the fortress.
There was a sound of foliage moving behind them.
"Hunter?" said Naruto nervously.
"I heard it."
The four of them slowly turned round. Where there had once been just a line of trees there were now also twenty bipedal mechanical alligator-like creatures that were staring at them with unblinking red eyes. Just when no one thought this could get any worse (or stranger) the machines transformed, standing up straight and becoming more humanoid, the large alligator heads folded away into their chests revealing smaller human-like head inside. It kind of reminded Hunter of Optimus Prime, but nowhere near as impressive.
Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi just blinked a few times, the weirdness of the situation rapidly becoming too much. Hunter stepped out in front, holding up a hand to his friends "Don't worry I'll use the 'universal greeting' on 'em." he cleared his throat "Now..what was...Live long and-no wait that's not...ah! Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah weep ni ni bong!"
This didn't work. The closest machine roared and charged at them. Hunter ducked under its punch and smashed his first right through its chest. "Ok, let's try Aerora!" The remaining beasts were all blown back by the wind spell. While they were getting back up Hunter pulled his arm out of the dead one's chest and ran back past the ninjas yelling "Come on, this way!"
Needing no further encouragement they ran off after him into the steel jungle.
"Do you know where you're going!?" yelled Naruto as they ran.
"Of course!" Hunter yelled back "The most dangerous place on this hell hole of a planet to rescue someone I can't stand!"
With Sakura.
"LET GO OF ME!" Sakura screamed as loud as she could. After she'd taken that chaos emerald she'd found herself stuck in the mud outside this huge steel fortress. Almost instantly she'd been grabbed by these robot alligator things that had dragged her inside, then thrown her in a cell. After waiting for what felt like forever they'd come back for her and were now dragging her off to kami-knows-where. Eventually they emerged from the metal corridor they'd been walking through and into a massive open area that must have taken up most of the fortress interior. Sakura barely had time to look around before she was unceremoniously dumped down again.
"Hey, watch it you big-aaahhhh!" she half screamed as she looked down. The middle of the base was massive circular pit that was mostly full of water and a whole lot of metallic fins that kept swimming around in circles. Sakura couldn't see the creatures they were connected too, she didn't want to. Looking back the way she'd come she saw that she'd been placed on a long gang plank that extended out over the pit. Her eyes widened in horror as she saw the hinge in the runway a few centimetres away.
"Has the Imperial Magistrate reached a verdict?" It was a cold, grating voice that spoke. Sakura looked up and saw some of the ugliest creatures she'd ever had the displeasure to look upon. The one that had spoken was mechanical, like everything else here. It had a humanoid torso that floated on a beam of light, a hideous face that connected to a distended skull and a mass of tentacles sprouting from where its arms should have been.
The other three had reverse teardrop bodies with five faces arranged in a ring around the top. Several tentacles sprouted from their lower section, coiling around a light beam that suspended them above the floor. They were 'seated' on three thrones that stood at various heights above the main floor, with the one in the middle being the highest. The faces of the alien sitting on it swivelled left as a new face clicked into place. It kind of looked like an oni mask.
"I have." it said in a calm voice dripping with malice.
"Guilty or innocent?" asked the first alien.
It's faces rotated again so now a face that looked a lot like a skull was facing her "Innocent."
Sakura breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
Then the first alien said "Feed her to the Sharkticons!"
Sakura had just enough time to let out a screech of terror as the gang plank gave way beneath her and she tumbled down into the pit. Without warning she came to a jerking halt some distance above the water. She felt a pressure around her waist and looked down. Wrapped round her stomach was a metal chain with a hook dangling below.
"Hey Pinky!"
She looked up and saw Hunter, Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi standing at the edge of the pit looking back down at her.
"Just hang on. I'll have you up in-Wow!" Hunter stopped mid sentence and flung out his other chain, wrapping it around the other three ninjas, then he jumped into the air, dragging them with him. A second later the place where they'd been standing exploded, raining sparks and debris down on her. She thought she heard Hunter yell "Brace yourselves!", then she was falling again. The next few moments were a blur but she was pretty sure she hit the water. She caught a glimpse of huge metallic teeth right in front of the face then the world started spinning round and round until she closed her eyes, praying for it to stop.
When she opened her eyes again she was wet, cold and lying at the bottom of the now empty pit. She wondered where all the water had gone, then she saw the massive gaping hole in the floor with Hunter climbing out of it.
"Well, that was fun." he said.
Naruto stood up next to him and spat out some water. "Don't ever do that again. Ever!"
"Woos!"
Sakura stopped paying attention to them however when she saw Sasuke groggily getting to his feet. In the blink of an eye she'd dashed over to him and pulled in into a tight (and unwanted) embrace.
"Oh Sasuke! I knew you'd save me!"
Sweat drops appeared over each of the three onlookers.
"What about me?!" Naruto called out but she didn't notice.
"Why did I have to get stuck with a fan girl?" Kakashi wondered aloud.
"Erm, I'd hate to interrupt but...DUCK!" Sasuke pulled them both down just in time to avoid Hunter's chain, which swung over their heads and smacked into the sharkticon that was about to eat them. It wasn't alone either, all around them the sharkticons were getting back up and more were coming out of several holes in the pit wall.
"Now, I know you guys are alien space monsters and she's basically a little Japanese school girl, but this isn't that kind of story!" yelled Hunter as he grabbed the nearest sharkticon and ripped its jaw open. "Well don't just stand there! WRECK 'EM!"
Naruto used his shadow clone jutsu to make a small army of clones, which started tearing into the mechanical monsters. "Rasengan!"
BOOM!
"Chidori!" Kakashi tore through several enemies with his signature justsu, then he leapt over one robots head, stabbing it with a kunai attached to an explosive tag. He landed behind it just as the blast ripped it open, but he was still surrounded by more sharkticons. Just as they charged forwards they were bowled aside by Hunter.
"Most. Fun. EVER!" he yelled as he jumped high into the air and threw a lightning bolt into the heart of the sharkticon ranks.
Sasuke tore through one with a Chidori, then hopped onto another's back and jammed a kunai into its eye. The monster bucked beneath him in an attempt to throw him off but before it could he used the kunai as a handle to swing down n front of it and throw an exploding tag into its mouth. Seconds later it exploded and there was one less sharkticon.
"There's too many!" yelled Sakura as another sharkticon charged at her. She waited until the last second, then she rolled to the side, slapping a tag on its side as it passed, destroying it.
Suddenly the sharkticons stopped attacking and began backing off, leaving a large clear space around their five would be meals.
"What's with them?" asked Naruto and his remaining clones together.
"I think we scared them." answered Sakura.
Each and every sharkticon transformed like the alligator robots had before. Small legs unfolded from their backs while there stubby beast mode legs moved up to their necks and became their hands, their piranha-like faces split apart and folded back to reveal humanoid heads. All of them continued to stand there, looking at each other nervously. The four ninjas all looked surprised while Hunter just acted like this was the most normal thing in the world.
"Sharkticons execute them!" yelled the alien on the throne.
"RRRAHHH!" Hunter let out a massive roar as his tail grew out of his back and smashed against the floor with such force that it made the ground shake. "I say execute them!" he pointed up at the five face aliens.
The sharkticons all exchanged glances with each other, then they all smiled in an unnerving manner. Without so much as a word they started running towards the far wall of the pit, forming a ladder up to their former masters.
"I think the problems on this planet are about to be solved very shortly." said Kakashi.
"Good, now Pinky" Hunter rounded on Sakura, fixing her with a glowing yellow stare "Hand over the emerald, before it-" the chaos emerald in her pocket suddenly started to glow and hum. Without thinking Sakura reached in and took the gem out, which made it glow even brighter. Acting fast Hunter grabbed hold of Sakura's arm and threw out his chain so it wrapped around Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi. Not a second later the world around them all vanished and warped until slowly sense reasserted itself.
They were now in a large circular corridor that was made out of something like blue light, otherwise it was utterly featureless.
Hunter rubbed his chin as he tried to work out where he was "Hmmm. I think this is the...yeah, it's the Eldar webway. I can use this!"
"So do you have a plan?" asked Kakashi.
"Yup. I know where we are now. Here's what we do, we go through this portal, find an Eldar Craftworld, steal a ship, plug in the emerald and jump around until we get back!"
"No!" Sasuke stepped forwards "You have the emerald, send us back. Now!"
Hunter shot him a murderous look "I told you I don't know how to work this thing! We might end up seven miles under the ocean, or in the middle of a volcano, or in the depths of space! Unless we have a ship you'll all die. Plus, I need some booty and Eldar prostitutes are cheaper and less shoddy!"
Everyone blinked a few times. "Erm...what!?"
"I said we need a boot up in our transportation department and Eldar ships are a lot safer and less shoddily built!"
Naruto scratched his head, not entirely convinced "Oh, right that's...what I thought..."
"Just use a dark portal again." Sasuke continued from where he'd left off. "We survived last time."
"By luck!" Hunter countered.
"If your too afraid then give the emerald to me and I'll use it!" He stuck out his arm, demanding the gem.
"Not a chance in hell." Hunter folded his arms defensively.
"Just because you're too big of a coward to take risks doesn't mean I am." Sasuke smirked.
Hunter became unnaturally still for a moment, then he got up and calmly walked over to Sasuke. "Sorry, I couldn't here you from...over there." he pointed back to where he'd just been "What did you just call me?"
"Are you two really going to do this now!?" asked a bewildered Naruto.
Both of them ignored him "I called you a coward." Sasuke's smirk finally faltered when Hunter started laughing at him "What's so damned funny?"
"Sasuke, either shut up and do as I say or I will throw you out there" he pointed at the wall of the webway "for the monsters living there to search and destroy. And let me tell you, the 'destroy' part is something they particularly enjoy."
It took a moment for Sasuke to realise what he meant. When he did catch on he went pale. "Y-you wouldn't."
Hunter was clearly enjoying himself now. "There's something they'll be 'destroying' with their huge daemonic weapons."
Sasuke agonised for a few moments, then he came to the conclusion that Hunter wasn't kidding and he hung his head in defeat.
With Sasuke placated and nowhere else to go the group marched onwards down the tunnel following Hunter's lead. Sasuke didn't say a word the whole time, he just kept shooting murderous looks at the back of Hunter's head. He stopped when Hunter's head turned one hundred and eighty degrees and told him that he could still see what he was doing, before spinning the rest of the way round to face the front. Needles to say it freaked everyone out, but Sasuke stopped with the glares.
After about an hour of walking down tunnels that all looked the same Naruto suddenly realised something "Um...does anyone have anything to eat?"
Everyone thought for a moment, then they realised with horror that none of them had any food.
"We're all going to starve to death!" wailed Sakura.
Hunter rolled his eyes "Don't be ridiculous. We're not going to starve, we'll be out of here before you know...it."
They'd reached a rather strange dead end in the webway. Well, not exactly a dead end. They were standing outside a pair of large and rather ominous looking black gates.
"Wrong way." said Hunter. Everyone else let out a collective tired groan "Come on, let's go back a little ways and-oh snap."
The group turned and found themselves staring down the massive gun barrels of ten power armoured figures. Their armour was blue with a gold trim and they wore helmets with tall flat crests on the top that were painted with horizontal stripes, not unlike the crown of an Egyptian Pharaoh.
"Hold your fire Rubrics. Well well, what do we have here." said the leader of this group. Like the rest he had blue armour with a gold trim but it was coupled with a great robe, his helmet had long curling horns and in place of a massive rifle he had a pistol and a staff. "Five rats scuttling about the webway here to try and take my prize from me."
"No, actually we're trying to find a way out." said Sakura, nervously.
"Oh, you're trying to leave!" the mans voice was thick with sarcasm "So, it's just coincidence you're here. Just chance that you are at the gates of the Black Library, the thing I, Ahriman of the Thousand Sons, have been seeking for eons? Hahahah!-Laugh with me Rubrics!"
The other figures gave coughing dust filled laughs.
"What's wrong with them?" Naruto asked in an aside to Hunter.
"They're made of dust." Hunter whispered back before addressing the newcomer "Look, I don't have time for...sorry, who did you say you were?"
"Ahriman of the Thousand Sons."
"Never heard of you."
"Former First Captain of the Thousand Sons legion?"
"Nope." said Kakashi.
"Caster of the 'Rubric of Ahriman'?"
"No." Sakura repeated.
"Seriously!? I'm only the most INFAMOUS and fucking POWERFUL sorcerer of all time!" Ahriman flung out his arms in exasperation, forcing his Rubrics to duck to avoid his staff hitting them in the face. "I've been searching for this Library for the better part of ten-fucking-thousand years and this time nothing will stop me from-"
"Do you have your card?" asked Hunter with a devious smile.
Ahriman faltered mid sentence "M-my what?"
"Your Library card." Everyone gave Hunter questioning looks but he winked at them giving a vague assurance that he knew what he was doing. "You can't stay unless you have one. So do you have it?"
"Ooooh, oh, of course, of course I have one. One second...oh was it in here or...hang on a minute" Ahriman started searching for the non-existant card " I'm sure I put in here in my robes or...did I put it under my pauldron? No...I swear I planned for everything, it must be here somewhere!"
"If you don't have it I'm going to have to ask you to leave sir."
"Alright it seems like I've lost it, but look I can just pay for a subscription."
"We don't take subscriptions directly anymore. You have to subscribe on our webway sight."
"Subscribe on the webway sight, ok. I guess I can do that while I'm here. Do you have a spare terminal I could- Wait a minute!" apparently he'd finally caught on "You're just fucking with me now aren't you!? I'm the one who's supposed to be doing the fucking-with here! I'll teach you a fucking lesson! OPEN FIRE RUBRICS!"
"Goodbye." Hunter aimed his arm at the webway at Arhiman's feet and blasted it with a dark bolt. The blue light cracked and shattered like glass sending the sorcerer and his cadre of warriors falling into the swirling vortex of colour beyond. Just before he vanished from sight Ahriman managed to yell out "Noooo! I was this fucking close! Can't I just catch a break!?...Oh, scream in desperation for me Rubricccsssssss..."
"Nice shot!" declared a very impressed Naruto "But how did you keep the rest of the floor from..."
CRACK!
The rest of the floor gave way and all five of them fell into yet another mess.
The place they were now in was some kind of strange alternate reality that didn't seem to abide by any rules. There was no land, sky, or water the whole place was basically a multicoloured collective seizure. Kakashi was trying his best to sit down, Sakura was trying to stop herself from spinning round and round in circles while Sasuke and Naruto were attempting to swim as if they were in a ocean. Hunter was just floating around, looking from left to right.
"Well now where are we!" Sakura screamed once she'd stopped spinning.
Hunter shrugged "Don't know. Maybe we should ask that guy."
The other looked in the direction Hunter was looking, and instantly wished they hadn't. It turns out that they weren't alone here, there was a ...thing floating alongside them. It had the appearance of a man sitting cross-legged, only it's body was deep blue and purple with a skeletal look and oddly textured skin. It had two lipless mouths, one at its crotch and one on what may have been its head. It had no visible eyes or ears, just a long mass of tentacles that covered the top portion of its head and fell back over its shoulders in a mockery of flowing hair. Two large, thick tendrils ran up from its shoulders and intertwined a few inches above its head.
"Ohhh. Visitors. That hasn't happened in a while. Or maybe it has, who knows. Ha!" It had a high pitched voice with a mild squeaky edge to it and disturbingly neither of its mouths seemed to move as it spoke.
"Wh-what are you!?" Sakura stammered.
"Oh, no one important." said the creature, innocently. "Chances are I have no significance whatsoever in anyone's life. Then again I may just be the most important being in the universe!"
"Hunter, what is it?" asked Naruto.
"Our ticket out. Greetings abominable creature of ...wherever this is. Don't suppose you'd be willing to say...warp us to a world of my choosing at all?"
"Trying to cut a deal are we? If I'd have know that I would have brought snacks. Or maybe I did and I ate them all. But alas, how do we know snacks even exist in the first place? Or even if they are any good? Perhaps they're all just figments of imagination."
"Did anyone catch any of that?" asked Kakashi, scratching his head.
"Oh-ho-HO! Is your human mind to simple to comprehend some simple pondering? But that does make one wonder, what can we really comprehend? Does comprehension even exist? Hmm? We, sitting here, in a dimension of thoughts produced by a countless number of minds throughout time, expressing our feeling through simple sounds. Understanding but not understanding eachothers motives."
Poor Naruto's brain was practical on fire at this point, and it was only getting worse as the thing kept talking.
"Is that all we can truly comprehend about this universe? Is this really happening? Hmm...No, yes, maybe...One thing I am sure of. The only thing I can believe in without a shadow of a doubt...is...THAT YOU ALL SMELL LIKE POOP! HOHOHYORGHYORGHHYORGO!"
Hunter was starting to lose his patience "I have no time for games man. Get us out of here!"
"Hmmm...HmmMMMmmm...Hmmm? Yeeah, maybe...Hmmm...Yes? No? No. No! Absolutely, positively, impossibly NOT!"
Hunter gave the creature a devilish smile, then he changed his right arm into a Heartless claw and poked the thing sharply in the face.
"Ouch!"
"Let us ouuut."
"No!"
Poke.
"Oww!
"Out!"
"NO!"
Poke, poke. Poke. Poke.
"How about later?"
"No! Out now!" Poke. Poke, poke, poke, poke.
"ALRIGHT! Here!"
A portal of swirling colour opened up a short distance away.
"Finally a way off this crazy ride!" said a very relieved Naruto as he floated on through the portal, followed by Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi.
Hunter went through last and instantly realised they had been duped.
"What are all these fluffy white things?" asked Naruto.
"Clouds." said Hunter.
Everyone had just enough time to register that when gravity took over and they started plummeting towards the ground.
"Emergency teleport!" Hunter yelled, although no one could hear him over the rush of air. He flung out his chains, wrapping them around the falling humans and pulled the emerald out of his pocket. As it activated he pulled the others close and shouted "Aerora!"
An instant later they were no longer in the open air, but a dark space where their fall abruptly ended with a crash. The air spell took most of the impact but that still left the four ninjas bruised and winded.
Being practical immune to damage Hunter was back up first "Is everyone alright. All not dead?"
"Owww." groaned Naruto.
"I'm...ok." said Sakura as she got back up, rubbing her head.
"Kakashi, Sasuke? Sound off."
"Here." Kakashi replied.
"Humph." Sasuke was less talkative.
"What...happened?" asked Naruto.
"That tentacle faced fiend tried to kill us is what!" yelled Hunter "Fortunately I used my op-plz-nerf powers to save you all. Again."
Now that everyone was safe they had time to examine where they'd landed.
"A cave." said Sakura, disappointedly "We're in a cave."
"Beats being dead." said Hunter. "If I ever get my claws on that multi-limbed calamari special..." he muttered something incoherent as he began walking up the rock walls.
"And where are you going?" asked Sasuke, rudely.
Hunter leaned back to look at them. "That way." He pointed up at an opening in the wall above him where a trickle of water was pouring out "I can smell fresh air. And I've got a good feeling I know where we are."
"I've just about had enough of this lunatic." muttered Sasuke.
"I heard that." Hunter growled back "You really should try being nice Sasuke, it'll make you feel good. 'Cause when it feels real good, like a feeling should, you gotta-!"
Someone or something in another part of the cave sang out "Ugh Ugh!" then several other voices chorused "Pass it on!"
"You gotta!" Hunter repeated.
"Ugh ugh!"
"Pass it on!"
"Hunter? W-what is that?" asked a fearful Sakura.
"Fraggles. Don't worry, they're harmless."
The ninjas had no clue what he was talking about but then they were used to that by now. They followed him up to the cave mouth and went in. After a while the bumpy rock of the cave wall gave way to uniform bricks.
"We're in a sewer!" declared a disgusted Sakura.
"A squeaky clean sewer." corrected Hunter "So quit complaining!"
It wasn't long before they came to a metal ladder that lead to a manhole. Sakura pushed her way past Hunter to go up first.
"Ladies fist." he muttered to himself before following her up. Once he was out he helped Naruto and Kakashi out but left Sasuke to get out on his own, much to the Uchiha's annoyance.
"This is..." Sakura began.
They were on a modern, deserted suburban street. There were several parked cars but nothing on the road. A few tweeting birds could be heard in the distance but that was all. There were no daemons, Nobodies, Romulans, nothing weird or dangerous at all.
"Nice." Naruto finished her sentence for her.
"It looks nice." Hunter pointed out "Doesn't mean it is nice. Same rules still apply, don't wander off and don't touch-"
CRUNCH
They all spun round to look at Naruto. The boy was smiling broadly as he tucked into a plate of cookies he was now holding. Then he noticed the looks everyone else was giving him.
"What?"
"Naruto!" Sakura growled menacingly "How can you even think of food at a time like this?"
"But they're cookies!" the boy protested.
Hunter was about to chip in when a fuzzy blue creature walked out from the building behind Naruto. He was about to walk straight past them when he saw the plate of cookies in the blonds hands. "COOOKKKIIEESS!" it cried as it proceeded to scoff down every last one of the pastries in front of a frozen Naruto "Omnomnomnomnom! Mmm! Thank you! Nomnomnom..." once all the cookies were gone it walked off, still noming on the remains of the sweets.
"What on earth was..." began Sakura. "No, actually I don't want to know. What I do want to know is how are we going to get back home?"
It didn't look like Hunter was listening to her as he was preoccupied looking up at the sky with a curious expression on his face. "I sense ...darkness...and a presence I've not felt since..."
"Kakashi-sensai, what's he talking about now?" Naruto muttered in an aside to his teacher.
"Ambiguous rubbish." Sakura stated as though it was obvious "I can do it to. 'And the night is dark but low! Here comes the dawn!'"
A large black portal suddenly appeared further down the street and out stepped an old foe.
"Pete!" exclaimed Hunter.
The cat like anthropomorph was less than happy to see him too. "You! What are you doin' here!?"
"Well I was here to attend Pope Gregory the Ninth's yacht party but it seems he gave me the wrong address."
The four ninjas just stared at the cat-man, thinking that things couldn't get any weirder. Wrong again.
"Tallyho!"
WHACK!
"Ooof!"
Out of nowhere someone appeared in thin air right above poor Naruto and hit him over the head with a large blunt object. He crumpled to the ground, anime stars whirling round his head. The other three ninjas thought they were under attack for a moment, but that thought (along with any others) vanished as they got their first look at the new arrival.
It was a girl just a little shorter than Hunter in her late teens or early twenties. It was very obvious that she wasn't what you'd call normal. She had shoulder length lavender hair, fair skin and pale white eyes, which wasn't too out of the ordinary, her cloths on the other hand were an altogether different matter. She wore a white tank top, a red miniskirt, a black sneaker with a bright neon stripped long sock on her left leg and a white sneaker and dull stripped long sock on her right. On her hands were black fingerless gloves and on her neck sat a pair of black headphones with a single pink neon stripe running across the top. On her back she had a sky blue hooded cape that fell down to her ankles. In her hand she was holding a broom of all things with a overly large red and white mint coloured 'C' at the end, which is what she'd smacked Naruto with.
"Oops, I missed." she apologised to Naruto, who was still lying dazed on the floor. Then she took up a battle pose and pointed her broom at a still confused Hunter.
"This little cat and mouse game is over Pete! Now why don't you and Darth McEvil here go back to..." she stopped mid sentence and took another look at Hunter. "Wait...I know you, you're Hunter!"
That only added to Hunter's confusion "You know who I am? That's...a first for me."
"Hey!" a yell from Pete drew their attention back to him. "You're not getting away this time girly! Heartless Squad! Round up!"
Several Shadows rose up from the ground and two Soldiers appeared. After a moment of standing there and jerkily moving like insects they advanced on the group.
Hunter cracked his knuckles and stepped forwards "Everyone keep back, I'll handle-"
There was a rush of air as the strange girl ran right past him. She gave her broom a twirl then used it like a baseball bat to smack away two Shadows that both disintegrated mid air. Now that she was in the middle of the Heartless pack she raised her broom and called down three lightning bolts from the sky, destroying more Shadows.
Not wanting to be left out Hunter dashed forwards and punched a Soldier right in its metallic face, sending it flying back "Oh, I like you." He ducked under a leaping Shadow then kicked it as it landed "You never told me your name!"
"Candy." the girl swung her broom again, hitting the other Soldier "Candy Witch!"
"You think of that all by yourself?" Candy called down another bolt that struck Hunter, then branched out to the remaining Shadows. "I deserved that." he croaked.
All the Heartless were gone now, leaving a very angry Pete, he huffed and jumped up and down a few times like a toddler having a tantrum "You...you..YOU!...Oh, when Maleficent gets back you two are gonna wish you'd never tangled with the Mighty Pete!" The wind went right out of his sails when he saw that no one was looking at him, they were all crowding around Candy.
"That was so cool." said Naruto, who apparently forgotten all about being hit on the head. "Are you a real witch? Can you fly on that broom? Ooo, are you from another world like Hunter?"
"Yes, yes and...yes. "Her eyes changed from white to a shade of purple. Apparently she didn't notice until she saw everyone else's expressions "Oh, erm yeah I tried to do a spell once to change my eye colour, but it didn't go exactly to plan, so now my eyes change like mood rings."
"I think they look pretty." said Sakura, in an unusually kind manner.
Hunter didn't look too pleased with someone else getting all the attention "Well, my eyes change too. So do my cloths and...gender...sometimes. Umm. Anyway you never did tell me how you knew my name."
Candy nodded emphatically "Yeah! Pikachu told me all about you and I heard Optimus Prime mention you're name once or twice."
"Just how many worlds have you been to?"
"Mmm, twenty or so. I love finding new worlds, the last one was great! Magic, a demon invasion oh and the cookies! To die for." there was a beep from behind her and she reached round, producing an iPad "Oh, Tzeentch just posted about you on Spacebook."
"What? Give me that!" Hunter snatched it from her and stated reading the open web page.
MasterofPlans : So get this guys, some prick called Hunter just showed up in the warp and started poking me in the face. Total douche Amiright?
Grandpapa Nurgz : He hit your face? What a jerk.
MasterofPlans : Indeed. I think he even bruised one of my many cheeks. Got my own back though. Sent him and his pet monkeys to Equestria. SEVEN MILES ABOVE EQUESTRIA! ROFL!
"Grrrrr." Hunter started typing.
Anonymous : I'm still alive you HP Lovecraft reject! The pain of a million ripped out nose hairs will seem like a tender massage compared to what I'll do to you!
Grandpapa Nurgz : Lol. Would pay to see that!
MasterofPlans : All according to plan!
IshaMe : Ah yes, that bigol' stupid 'plan' of yours.
MasterofPlans : Yep. I've got it alllll figured out. Just a matter of waiting for things to fall into palace.
420BlazeMy3601337Vagick: I'm horny. Are you Horny?
Anonymous : Um...what?
IshaMe :Oh bother, not this horrid wench again! Nurgle, dear, can you throw all diseases you've ever cooked up at this irredeemable penetration-addict!
420BlazeMy3601337Vagick: Oh I like it when you get angry. Gimmie your credit card info and you can see my free cam show =DDDD.
Grandpapa Nurgz : That doesn't sound suspicious at all. sarcasm
Hunter gave the iPad back to Candy "Annnnnd that just got too personal for me."
"Are you even listenin' over there!" Pete yelled at them.
Hunter gave a tired 'ugh' then looked over at Candy "Please tell me that you know teleport magic."
She smiled and gave a single nod "Yup."
"Then can you please get us back to the Elemental Nations. We've all had enough craziness today."
The four ninjas all nodded in agreement. Still smiling Candy raised her broom high into the air. Pete ran straight at them, hoping to catch them before they could leave. As soon as he was close enough he jumped at them in a flying rugby tackle but they vanished in a flash of light and he ended up smacking face down on the sidewalk.
"Grr. Darn it!" he cursed.
Just to the left a green hairy thing rose up out of a garbage can "Hery, will ya keep it down out there, I'm tryin' ta sleep here!"
Back with Hunter and the others
"This is NOT the Hidden Leaf Village!" exclaimed Sakura.
Candy hadn't teleported them back to the Leaf, they were now in a golden hallway lined with great works of art and towering warrior statures.
"I think we actually went backwards." Hunter muttered as he looked around.
"We'll I'd like to see you do better!" said Candy, defensively while her eyes changed to an angry red.
"I can. 'Cept I use dark portals. It'll kill this lot if they go through again."
Candy's eyes almost burst out of their sockets "You use dark portals unprotected! You know what that stuff does to you!?"
"Why does everyone keep going on about these portals" groaned Naruto "Hunter uses them all the time and he's fine."
"He's a Heartless, of course he's fine!" Candy blurted out, then she noticed the confused looks the ninjas were giving her and the uncomfortable look on Hunters face "They don't know do they?"
Kakashi figured it all out first "So...those things that that Pete guy summoned up...you're one of them?"
Hunter's shoulder slumped "It's ...more complicated than-"
And then something no one expected happened. With a loud thud three huge muscular half naked men appeared in front of them. They were all about nine feet tall wearing leather loincloths, greaves, cuffs, tall closed helmets and nothing else.
"Mmm, mmm, MMM. What do we have here?" asked the closest man, apparently the leader of the group. "Intruders in the Imperial palace. It's been a while since that's happened."
"This man be an opportunity." said the man on the left "It has been too long since we had a real work out."
"My oiled abs quiver in anticipation." added the third man.
Everyone was just staring at them open mouthed, eyes bulging.
"I am seriously turned on right now." said Hunter, causing everyone to turn their disbelieving gaze on him "What?"
"Ok, I'll try again." said Candy as she raised her broom again.
"Wait? Wait! can't we jus-" Hunter's protest was cut short as the mismatched team was once again teleported away. Leaving three very disappointed Custodies behind.
"Drat. Ah well, let's get back to oiling our abs."
"You mean eachothers abs, right?"
The hidden Leaf village
"It's no use." groaned Shikamaru. "We've been looking for hours and there's still no sign of them."
"Gezze, will you stop whining?" said Kiba.
After the disappearance of Hunter and all of Team Seven, Tsunade had ordered every ninja to scour the village with a fine toothcomb. That had been several hours ago and with no sign of any of them yet some were starting to lose hope.
"We'll find them...we have to." insisted Hinata, who hadn't so much as rested since the search began.
"How?" asked Shikamaru "It's not like they're just going to drop out of the sky!"
There was a loud thump as Naruto appeared out of thin air above him and landed on top of him, knocking them both to the ground. A second later Sakura warped into existence a short distance way and upside-down, landing on her head with an 'Oof!'. Then Kakashi, and Sasuke who was instantly set upon by Ino asking if he was hurt.
"Well that was fun."
All those present looked over at the voice they knew too well. "HUNTER!" they all yelled in
"Hi guys!" he smiled at them in a friendly manner.
"You!" he stopped smiling when he saw Tsunade, Jiriya and Shizune running to join the rookies. "Just what did you do to my genin!" she demanded.
"What about me?" Kakashi asked but she paid him no mind.
"They're alive aren't they?"
"Granny Tsunade!" the Hokage looked over at Naruto, while still keeping one eye on Hunter "You won't believe where we've been!"
"See, I got you all back in one piece." said Candy, proudly.
"Oh Kami, please tell me there's not another one." groaned Shizune.
"Don't worry, she's just leaving." said Hunter.
Candy rounded on him at once "No I'm not!"
Hunter tossed the Chaos Emerald at her and she caught it on reflex. She had just enough time shoot Hunter an angry look before she vanished in a flash of light.
"Hmmm, I have a feeling that one will come back to haunt me. Oh well." said Hunter "I'm going for some...R&R."
"You're not going back to that world with the naked men are you?" Naruto deadpanned.
Hunter looked offended "You insult me sir! I have standards!" a black portal appeared behind him and two of the female daemons from before stepped out to stand one on each side of him. Both had purple skin, wide mouths with luscious lips pulled back over sharp teeth. The one on the left had a crab pincer in place of her left arm and both were wearing...very, very little clothing. "Horrible, horrible standards." he said as he draped an arm over the two of them and his tail sprouted out of his back. Everyone's eyes went comically wide. As they turned and walked into the portal everyone heard him say "So, ladies, have either of you ever heard of an 'Antivan Milk Sandwich'?" then he was gone.
"We don't want to know what he meant do we?" said Shizune.
"No we don't." agreed Tsunade, then she looked to her left and saw Jiriya scribbling notes furiously. Getting angry she seized him by his shirt and pulled him close so his face was inches from hers "No. We. Don't." she repeated with way more force.
"I'm just glad today's over." breathed Naruto.
Somewhere between the Land of Fire and the Land of Lightning.
"I spy with my little eye.."
"Shut up Jirōbō!"
The Sound Four had been walking for hours now. They could have run this distance in less than half the time but no, their 'guest' insisted that they walk. None of them liked Twilight Thorn and that resentment was only increasing. The worst thing about him (one of the rare things they all agreed on) was his total lack of emotion. They'd all tried their hand at goading him into a fight so they could have an excuse to kill him but he either ignored them or gave them that 'look'. It was like being stared at by a statue. A creepy statue.
"We're here." the Nobody announced as they cleared the tree line.
"Finally!" said Tayuya.
They were now in a huge open meadow that was carpeted with wild flowers. The only man made structure in sight was a simple stone monolith in the middle of the grass, a monument to the fallen.
"I know this place." said Sakon. "This was one of the biggest battlegrounds of the third Shinobi war. They say that a flower grows here for every ninja that fell here."
Tayuya rolled her eyes "That's stupid. There are way too many flowers here for that to be true. Why are we even here?"
Thorn approached Jirōbō, who'd been carrying a large metal box ever since they'd left the base. He handed it over to Thorn, who walked a little further into the field before dropping it and opening the lid. "This was the largest battlefield I could find close to the Leaf." he said as he reached inside.
That was something else they hated about him "Would it kill you to give a straight answer?"
"And why did you drag all of us here?" asked Kidōmaru.
"I need them to chase you." Thorn pulled out a long, thin glowing purple crystal. Without warning he plunged it into the ground until half of it had sunk into the earth. As he took his hand away it started to move and wiggle, digging itself in deeper. When it finally disappeared underground there was a momentary pulse of purple light beneath the soil, then instantly every flower, tree and blade of grass wilted and died. In seconds the verdant meadow was a lifeless wasteland of cracked earth and twisted, gnarled trees.
"What...was that thing?" asked Sakon, echoing his comrades thoughts.
"A way to supplement our forces." replied Thorn. "Dark Energon. It reanimates the dead."
A skeletal hand burst up from the ground, clutching at the air. Then another, and another.
"Wh-what the!?" Tayuya almost screamed. Orochimaru's resurrection justu was bad enough, this was a whole new level of wrong.
"They won't notice me. Because I'm not real." Thorn kept talking as though nothing was happening, even as the dead rose up around him. "You. They'll follow you. Straight to the Leaf."
"You brought all four of us here...as bait!?" yelled Sakon.
"Yes. This way at least one of you will survive and lead them."
The four of them stared at him in horror for a few moments then as more corpses began to emerge then started running in the direction of the Hidden Leaf.
"Try not to get to far ahead!" Thorn yelled after them "I don't want too many wandering off!"
"Is he...what am I saying, of course he's serious." said Kidōmaru.
"I don't care what Orochimaru says. We kill him next chance we get! Agreed?!" asked a very angry Tayuya.
"Agreed!" the others chorused.
Thorn stayed for a while to retrieve the Dark Energon shard for later use. Then he opened a black portal back to the Hidden Sound base. He was instantly confronted by Kabuto in the dim artificial light of the underground hallway.
"I trust your mission was a success." Thorn didn't answer but Kabuto took that as a 'yes'. "Well, things have been going very well here. Kimimaro is responding very well to the gene therapy. Those alien cells are a medical miracle. He'll be at full strength in a matter of days."
"Orochimaru. Is he acclimatising to the power?" asked Thorn.
As if to answer his question the wall behind him was suddenly smashed in. Turning casually Thorn saw the Snake Sanin himself stepping out through the hole, admiring the wisps of Darkness coiling up from his arms.
"Magnificent." he said to himself, allowing his tongue to loll out in a snake like fashion. "This power changes everything. It's like I'm finally seeing the world for what it is."
"I remember that feeling." said Thorn "Savour it. It won't last. How are my replicas?"
Kabuto smiled in that creepy manner of his "Well, they just finished 'cooking' a few minutes ago. Take a look."
He stood aside, allowing an unobstructed view of the room behind him. On the far wall were three cylindrical glass pods lying open, their occupants staggering forwards, finding their feet and examining their surroundings.
Thorn briefly glanced over each of them before delivering his verdict "They'll do."
Well, thing are certainly heating up, aren't they.
I'd like to thank LanterLover23 for her support and letting me use her OC and the Alfa Legion and their TTS youtube series for all the 40k it's given me.
Candy Witch may appear again in the future and if anyone else has an idea for a OC (hero or villain) they want to see in this story I'd very much like to hear about it. Now, I can't promise they'll appear but I will do my best.
I'll be taking a short break from this story as I finish one of my other stories chapters and Hunter erm...finishes with those daemonettes.
Next chapter, Thorn declares all out war on the Hidden Leaf, and with a undead horde, genetically enhanced soldiers and a Darkness powered Orochimaru at his side, can he be stopped? You'll just have to wait and see.
