After many months, I'm back with a new chapter. This one's a little shorter than usual but a lot happens. The delay is manly down to a certain red suited man who shall go unnamed.
As always rate, review and above all enjoy.
Oh, and Merry Christmas
Chapter 18
For a moment nothing happened. Everyone just sood and stared at the red suited figured that had appea
"Ok, time out!" said Dead- "No dumbfuck, I talking to you not them! Now lose the quote marks, we need to talk."
Umm...Ok
Better, hang on. What's with the bold font?
So readers can tell which one of us is talking.
First off, neither of us are talking, secondly...ah, fuck secondly, lets get down to buissness. Ok author, you've finaly made the excelent choice of bringing me into this story. Now, I've looked over your plans for where this thing goes and...well it reads like a ten year olds Harry Potter fanfic.
Wait, how do you know where this story is going? I haven't writen down notes or anything, I'm just making it up as I go!
Do you even read my comics fuckwit? Most of my BFFs are mind readers. Anyway what you're thinking is shit so I in my infinite generosity wrote the rest of the story for you. Here you go!
...This is...this is just a bunch of sex scenes between you and Tsunade!
Yeah. Now I know what your thinking, some of this isn't anitomicly possible but if-
No, no, no. Absolutly not. I am not writing a smut fic for you!
Oh right, your too buisy enthralling us with the adventures of Lord Mary Sue here. He's totally a rip off of me!
That's rich coming from the Deathstroke clone. 'OOOO. look at me! I'm Deadpool! I can break the fourth wall and bitch at the audience!' Literaly any charcter can do that if that's how their writer writes them!
Really, you're going to start a smack talk war with me? Seriosuly? All you've got is one liners stollen from movies and the internet.
I find your lack of faith disterbing.
And I find your lack of cretivity fucking stagering.
You want to talk creativity? Hey, Leo from the Ninja Turtles called, he want's his katanas back!
Oh cute. You think I can't see what your doing here shithead!?
What?
You're giving yourself all the best lines!
No I'm-
Oh don't give me that! We both know this is alllll you.
Oh will you just...no fuck it this isn't worth it. Pool, you're fired!
WHAT! You can't fire me!... Do you have any idea what I had to do to get this job!
...Deadpool I had to beg Marvel on my hands an knees to get you here.
Ah, I was wondering how much dick you had to blow to get me.
I think I prefered the Wolverine Origins version of you. You know, the one with his mouth sown shut! Now get out.
Make me!
And then a great big hole opened up and Deadpool fell in.
What the-Fuuuuuuuuuucckkkkkkk Yoooooooooouuuuuuu...
Right, now that's out of the way I need a replacement guest. Let's see...Aha! Perfect. Now let's try this again.
And as the light faded everyone stared at the being that had appeared. It was a skeleton wearing a blue shirt and... pink fuzzy slippers.
"Hey there." said the summon in a laid back, almost tired sounding voice. "'Bout time someone found that charm. The name's Sans." he reached out a hand to Hunter who dumbly grabbed hold of it for a handshake. The instant he did however he was met with a long, drawn out fart noise. "Whoopie coshon in the palm." said Sans, his skelatal mouth changing to a perfectly white smile. "Never gets old."
"I feel like I may have drawn a short straw here." Hunter muttered. "Any chance you can get us out of this seal? Being trapped forever isn't exactly on my 'to do' list."
Sans shrugged "Sure." he snaped his fingers and several large bones burst out of the ground, disrupting the sealing circle.
Danzo's expresion disn't change, but he'd narrowed his eyes at Hunter.
Hunter cracked his (techniqly Hinata's) knuckles. "Finaly I get to hit something."
Sans' left eye socet started to glow with a blue flame. "You're all 'bout to have a bad time."
Hunter charged in first, kicking one ROOT ninja in the side of the head, ducking under a kunai slash then charging at a group of ninajs with a cry of "BANZAI!"
Sans meanwhile was surrounded by ROOT. With a silent command they all charged him at once. That was when the skeleton summoned more bones out of the ground that slamed into each mans crotch. They all fell to the ground with pained groans. "Heh heh. Warned ya." Another ROOT tried jumping on him from behind but he was blasted of the air by a laserbeam fired from a skull that Sans summoned. Turning to the rest of ROOT Sans made more laser skulls and started blasting away at them.
One managed to get under the beams and made a run at Sans but Hunter's new summon just raised his skeletal hand and caught the ninja in a telekinetic grip. "Hunter! Pull!" Sans chucked the unfortunate man into the air where he was smacked back down to earth by a kick from Hunter.
"Time for the big finish!" yelled Hunter.
Sans nodded, then rasied his hands casuing more bones to burst out of the ground, tossing the remaingin ninjas into the air. Hunter darted behind the skeleton and as Sans summoned two new laser skulls Hunter fired a dark bolt into each of them. The two skulls started to burn with black fire, then they opened and losed a torrent of dark bolts that bombarded the ninjas, floating them in the air, then they all fell to the ground, beaten, bruised and out cold.
"You didn't have enough determination." Hunter taunted, then he looked at Sans and gave a thumbs up.
Sans mad an 'ok' sign at Hunter as he started to glow "Great job kid. Now, it's time for me to take a rest." then he was a charm again, flying back to Hunter's hand.
"Yes! WOO! I won I-Arg!" Hunter staggerd forwards, pulling a kunai out of his host bodies shoulder blades. While he'd been celebrating he'd completly forgoten about Danzo, who was standing a few paces behind him.
Inside Hinata's Heart
"HUNTER!" Hinata screamed at him.
"Sorry! I can fix this!" Hunter looked up at his own apraoching Heart "Althouth it may not matter in the long run."
Back in reality
"Son of a BITCH!" Hunter swor as he cast another healing spell 'I only just recahrged my bloody magic. God damn it.'
"It seems you have a talent for disruption." said Danzo. "I may have failed today but this entire world recognises the threat you pose and stands against you. Even you can't fight the world."
"Oh yes I can!" said Hunter, indignatly. "And I can kick your crippled ass...to..." Hunter trailed off as Danzo slowly raised his right arm. It was completly wrapped in bandages and had a large bronze cylinder clamped round his forarm. Under that was a nightmare. Danzo's arm had some of his right sid had been partialy transformed into wood but that wasn't the worst of it. All along his arm were eyes. Eyes with the same magic as Sasuke's.
It didn't take a genius to work out what Danzo had done.
Inside their fused Heart Hinata looked confused. She had no idea what the device on Danzo's arm was but from the look on Hunters face he could see something she couldn't.
"Good god." Hunter managed as his face changed from shocked to angry "What do you do?!"
Danzo clenched his fist 'So he can see through the seal on my arm.' he thought. "What was neccesry for the villages protection. I do the hard things others can't to ensure that the Hidden Leaf servives."
"Neccesery!" Hunter yelled "THAT" he jabbed a finger at Danzo's arm "is NOT neccesery! It's...there are no words, there just arn't."
Danzo reached out and undid one of the clasps on the metal. Hunter meanwhile started charging a dark bolt. There was a tense moments pause, followed by a dull thud from the ceiling. Both of them looked up. There was another louder thud, and another, then a crack appeared followed by
CRASSHHH
"ME! DEADPOOOOOOOOO-"
NO NO NO NO! And then a black hole opened and sucked Deadpool into space.
"Son of a biiiiitch!"
I really hate him. Ok, -then a crack appeared followed by a loud crach as the ceiling caved in.
"Alright" came a familiar voice from the smoke "Hunter should be here, I can sense his dark energy."
"Yo! In a space so confied a monster he can't call. This is the end, time for our foe to fall, ya fools!"
"Oh no, not those two!" Hunter groaned. As the smoke and dust cleared his fears were comfermed. Yugito and Killer B had found him again and decided to 'drop' in.
Being one of the only non unconsious people in the room it didn't take them too long to notice him.
"What the...the Huyga heiress?" Yugito was more that a little uprised.
"Yes and no." Hunter said tiredly "It's Hinata's body with me stuck inside."
Real subtlue with the inuendoes arn't you?
And then Deadpool was attacked by a pack of hungry lions.
God damn it man!
Heheh, okay, where was I.
"Look, can this wait." Hunter waved dismissivly at them, "I've to an asskicking to attend to he-" he turned and found that while he'd been distracted Danzo had gone "And he's bloody scarpered. God fucking damn it!" he rounded on the two Cloud ninjas. "You two are really becoming a pain!"
"Happy to hear." said Yugito dryly "Acctualy I'm very happy. Now we can bag you and the byakugan all in one hit."
"Yo, ya time is up, no more debate! This chase is over so-WOW!" Hunter cut off Bee mid flow with a leaping kick that Bee bearly dodged.
"Your rapping SUCKS!" Hunter yelled as he ran for it. Quickly scaling the rubble and out through the new hole in the roof.
"After him!" Yugito yelled as she and Bee gave chase. 'Strange.' she thought 'Why is he running, we know he's just as strong as we are. Then she realised 'It must be that new body he's in. It's limiting what he can do. He's vulnerable!'
Inside Hinata's Heart
Hunter's Heart was not directly above them, forcing Hunter to duck slightly.
"No I now this looks bad" he said to a terrified Hinata "but it could be worse."
"HOW!" she screamed at him "How could it be worse!"
Hunter's Heart started to move faster, closing the gap between itself and Hinata's Heart.
"Oh snap!"
Back in reality
"Sod off!" Hunter yelled as he jumped from tree to tree.
"Not!" Yugito put on a burst of speed, moving in front of Hunter "A!" She turned, one of Matatabi's fiery blue tails appaering out of the back "CHANCE!" then she used her tail to smack Hunter out of the air.
He hit the ground with a mighty crash, creating a small crater.
Bee went in for the kill, an elbow drop from on high, charged with lightning chakra. Just before he landed Hunter yelled out "Reflect!" and the Cloud shinobi struck a sheild of magic wich exploded with enough force to level nearby trees.
Hunter got back up, brushing off the dirt, and looked over the the two ninjas.
"You ok Bee?" Yugito asked.
Bee rubbed his left arm gingerly." Hmmm. Think I might have broke something. That sheild don't have much in the way of give."
"Great." Hunter mutterd to himself as Yugito and bee got ready to attack again. "Can anything else go wrong today?"
"There! It's ...Hunter?"
"Oh snap."
Hunter turned and found himself facing a very confused Team Seven, along with Shino and Kiba.
"Errmm...Hinata?" Kiba asked.
"In the flesh. Unfortunatly." All of them jumped at hearing Hunter's voice coming out of Hinata's mouth. "Before anyone says anything this" he indicated his new body "was not my plan."
"Ok, now" Kakashi looked over at the Cloud ninjas "Care to explain why you two are here in the Land of Fire?"
Yugito rolled her eyes "Relax Hatake. We're here as jinchuriki, not shinobi. You know just as well as we do the threat this...thing" she pointed at Hunter "poses to us all."
Back in Hinata's Heart
While all this was going on Hunter's Heart had almost reached Hinata's, forcing her and Hunter to lie flat. Both of them were next to eachother, pushing against Hunter's Heart in an attempt to slow it down, but it wasn't working.
"Ohhh...I can't believe that Naruto can see me in that outfit." she groaned with embarrassment.
Hunter shot her an angry look "We're about to become perminant room mates nad that's what you're worried abo- SHIT!"
Hunter's Heart had...dissapeared.
Cautiously the two of them stood, looking all around.
"Huh...this is...well I don't...ermmm" Hunter scratched his head in confusion.
"What's that?" Hinata asked.
He turned to look at her, then followed her gaze to a...door. A few paces from them there was now an ornate looking door.
Hinata took an inquisitive step forwards, while Hunter took a fearful step back.
Be careful
"Who said that!?" Hunter yelled as he look left and right.
Beyond that door lies a completly different world.
Hinata kept walking towards the door.
"Hinata stop!" Hunter yelled.
But don't be afraid
Hinata was at the door now, her hand hovering in indecision over the handle.
Don't stop walking...
"Hinata, don't please I'm...I'm afraid..." Hunter pleaded.
Hinata looked back at him, then she turned back to the door, closed her eyes, summoned her courage and threw the door wide open.
Everything went white as they were both consumed by light.
Back in the real world
Hunter-Hinata looked confused for a moment, then in a blast of darkness the two seperated. Hinata fell to the floor, now wearing her nightware again and Hunter was a ball of darkness once more, floating above everyone.
The Leaf ninja all rushed to Hinata's side.
"Hinata! You alright?" asked Naruto.
Hinata, realising how close he was to her blushed and nodded.
Naruto smiled and nodded back, then he looked up a Hunter. "So I guess that's what Hunter really looks like."
"Not rea- wait you can see me now?" Hunter was suprised "Hmm...I must have enough of my power back! And that means...I can get my body back!"
"Wait, get it back? When did you lose it?" Sakura asked.
"I'm not telling you SQUAT!" yelled a jubilant Hunter. "All you're getting from me is a whole load of knuckle sandwitches!" With that Hunter opened his mouth wide and was inveloped in a ball of black energy. After a moment the ball exploded out and shatterd.
Hunter charged forth aiming a punch at Naruto.
He sailed right through the genin and fell flat on his face.
Getting back up he look at his arms and found that he was now...transparent.
"What?" he asked. He looked back at the ninjas and saw that they were all staring at the spot where he'd been moments ago. Hunter looked past them and saw standign where he'd been was...was...
A female version of himself!
"Whaooo! Baby that was fun!" she proclaimed. Yes she was the female disguise that Hunter had used before, only now she was wearing a blue and green robe that showed off most of her legs and a lot of her chest.
"What." said Hunter, flatly.
Fem-Hunter slowly, provocitivly stretched her limbs, then she looked at the dumbfounded ninjas. "Now, I believe I said something about hitting you all really, really hard." She gave them all a predatroy smile, then settled her gaze on Naruto who shifted uncomfortably.
"WHAT!?"
Well, I'm never working with Deadpool again. Ever.
Tune in next time for Fem-Hunter's first battle and a trip to Hunter's mind where dark secrets shall come to sight (ooooh Spooky)
Once again a very Merry Christmas and Happy new Year everyone.
