2008/LIBERTY CITY:

Lazlow; Right, so welcome back to Integrity. I'm here back in the studio cause after moving to San Andreas I realized it's too damn hot to really go outside, so we moved back to Liberty and...

Pinkie, from a distance: Lazlow you forgot your lunch.

Lazlow; Pinkie gets out of the studio!

Pinkie: But when you letting me on the show?

Lazlow: These people want likeable personalities not my whiny adopted sister, now get the fuck out of the studio you ginger bitch!

Pinkie: Words hurt Lazlow.

Lazlow: Not as much as my size 10 boot between your barely existent tits, now scram!

Pinkie: Hey you tried to rape my friend, I could arrest you.

Lazlow: She was asking for it, dressed as she was.

Pinkie: The fuck did you...

Lazlow: (slams door on her) Anyway San Andreas was a wild place. I still host fame or shame there but otherwise I'm usually travelling. Always liked LC though. It's like a big smile round here, makes you want to smoke a bowl, though last time I smoked a bowl I nearly raped a Mexican..

Pinkie (from outside): Sadie's only half Mexican...

Lazlow: SHUT UP REDHEAD! Anyway, we're be back after this commercial break.


CURRENT DAY:

"Ohh.. All outta batteries?" Trevor said, he and Michael cornering the stranded Lazlow.

"H -Hey guys.. I was only joking around back there" Lazlow frighteningly insisted.

"Yeah well. That little girl sat on my leg when she was 2 months old, and I swore to god I would the face off anyone, who fuckin wronged her!" Trevor threatened.

"L -Look, I'm just a dumb, A-list celebrity, trying to entertain America, Okay!?. I got a lot of stuff going on right now, besides, you, trying to kill me. Okay. I got multiple sexual harassment orders..Plus. I'm a crack addict. I can't stop jacking it dude! I jack it in traffic!" Lazlow cried.

"What's your talent? Huh? I mean, aside from love and sex?" Trevor asked.

"Dude, haven't you seen my show? It's not live, it's not funny. That's my genius: I got no fucking talent!" Lazlow said, frightened.

"Clearly he ain't being humble T. You've made your point" Michael insisted.

"Yeah." Lazlow said shakily.

"This was your daughter!. You should be wanting to the the FUCKING PONYTAIL, off the top of this guy's head!" Trevor replied angrily.

"... I'll give you Pinkie!" Lazlow cried, cowardly.

"Who?" The other two both asked.

"Her!" Lazlow cried, pointing to Pinkie still in his back seat.

"Your sister!? You're trading us your sister?" Michael said, disgusted.

"I'll take her.. She might be useful." Trevor insisted.

"No!" came a sudden voice and out comes Connor Parks, who was stick with Trevor this whole time. And he finally has enough courage to stand up to T, saying he can't take her. "Aww, you like this one Canada boy? Alright, you can have her then." Trevor said, pushing Pinkie towards Connor, he has to catch her.

"He's right though, she's Carly's friend, you don't want the Mrs Victoria any more mad at you than she already was" Michael insisted, as Trevor had earlier been beaten up by Seras as Trevor was asking around for Carly, who the now 50 year old Seras ended up a surrogate mother for. Long story short, Seras ended up beating him up to get answers out of him, learning he's Carly's uncle. Only then did she let Trevor go.

"Whatever, that cop was a cunt anyway." Trevor groaned, though feels his still tender nose.

Lazlow tried running, but Trevor stopped him.

"And you.. Pants, off" Trevor ordered.

Lazlow, knowing there's not much choice in the matter, took off his pants. Trevor tells him to dance as he pulls out his phone and hits record. "Now, I want you to dance sexy, celebita."

"I need music or..."

"You trying to fucking annoy me, huh!?" Trevor growled angrily.

"I'll dance" Lazlow said, and started dancing, or whatever he called what he was doing, and Trevor records it on his phone. No doubt as blackmail for if this ever happens again. But then he trips and begs them not to kill him, "I'm suppose to be on a magazine cover next week".

"Alright alright." Michael said, pulling Lazlow back up and gives him a small shove . "Go. Now. Before I change my mind!"

Lazlow doesn't hesitate to run off, but not before grabbing back his pants.

"I got it all on my phone you prick! The world's gonna see your shit!"

Michael laughedRT and than said "I'm going home."

"I -I'll go with you." Connor said, running after Michael, Pink follows.

"Suit yourself Canada boy." Trevor said and climbs into the big truck, driving off.

"Thank you.. Connor right? The Irish girl's friend?"

"Yeah.. Uh.. She and Carly think you and I should hook up. I honestly have no better ideas. And I can get you out of here. Tracey's new boyfriend can get me and her into a collage, you can come two. I heard you want to be a writer."

"I do.. Fine, we can try a few dates, I'm lonely two. But don't expect sex on the first date."

"Oh no worries on that part. I barely even had it with Tracey, she was shy on that part."

"Uh huh." Pinkie said, not having much of a response.

"Wait.. Carly two, take Carly. I have the money to make it up to you." Michael insisted. Connor saying that should be fine, and Michael actually hugged him, well more like a side hug, but still. Not even calling him kid in that slight condescending way he does it to Franklin, unintentional, but still there.


Carly's older in mine over Balor's. Who usually has her just a kid.. In mine Carly's usually around 17/18.. Pinkie's a year older than her.. But they are still the youngest characters, least of the originals..


Once dropping Connor and Pinkie back at the hotel, Michael drives back home, looking for Carly. Finding her with a still stoned Sally, who's now listening to Pink Floyd - Sheep.

"I think she's miles away." Carly chuckled to Michael, waving a hand over Sally.

"Pink Floyd has that effect on stoners." Michael chuckled, remembering his first time getting high was to The Wall. The famish album that later became a trippy musical film. One greatly misunderstood by Nostalgia Critic and why I stopped liking him, as all his surface-level criticisms made it clear to me that Doug doesn't even 'understand' the film, or its deeper meanings. Especially "Another Brick In The Wall, Part 2", where he complains it's about whiny students trying to rebel against authority, when it's actually about being under the throat of one very abusive teacher in a time (70's) when England treated child abuse as "no big deal".

Brushing a hair off of her summer dress, Carly stood up, and she carefully shook Sally, who woke up, startled. Carly giggles and gives Sally a bottle of water to help calm her down, Sally mumbling about being a field.

"It's good to keep an eye on your friends. Speaking of..."

"Yes, she called. Said you wanted me to go, and I do. Thanks for that dad, even Amanda was excited I was going." Carly replied.

"Any time Carly, did you tell Seras?" Michael asked.

"No, I'm gonna see her soon, just gotta wait til Sally to faze out a bit. She's a mess to drive with when she's stoned, so jumpy." Carly replied. Sally looking at her hands, waving them around. "Going where?" she asked.

"Santos collage." Carly replied.

"Good place. Dash got us kicked out of there." Sally replied, deadpan.

"Kicked out for what?" Carly asked.

"A guy dumped her, so she stabbed him with a pencil and tried to light his desk on fire.. Yeah, Dash has issues." Sally explained.

Carly doesn't reply, instead she hears Amanda yelling, and Dash yelling back, saying "and I'm keeping your wine!". Shortly after Dash comes, flipping off Amanda who's still yelling at her. Dash trips and somehow blames this on Amanda, who wasn't even near her.

"Yeah.. She does." Carly giggled, finally responding. And texts Blake to come collect her friend before she kills Amanda. Dash even holding a broken bottle at Amanda at the exact moment, the same one she broke on the fall. Amanda pushes her and Dash falls back down, and Amanda leaves. As the text suggests, Dash isn't really considered Carly's friend, not in a mean way, Carly just knows her sister Blake is Dash's BFF, so Carly has no real obligation to be Dash's friend, outside of that. Blake's the same with Pinkie.

"Y Yeah you- you better (burp) bitch!" Dash drunkenly slurred.