A/N: Unholy Trinity POV :)
At My Worst (Pink Sweat feat. Kehlani)
March
Brittany's POV
I was about to step out of the elevator on the 7th floor with Quincy in my arms. He was busy working on a Rubik's cube he took from Izzy when I heard the explosion of cursing from inside Quinn and Celia's apartment and paused with my foot blocking the elevator door.
"I don't know what you're talking about! I don't remember saying that!"
"Well, you did! You screamed it for hours. Is that why she moved back here? Are you fucking my sister again?"
I hit 10 and let the elevator doors close.
There was no way I was going to drop him off in the middle of warfare.
It'd been like this for weeks, each day getting a little worse, but I hadn't ever heard it get this bad.
We'd been picking Quincy up every day when we got the kids and then dropping him off after he played for a bit.
Usually, Ana dropped him off, but I had wanted to talk to Quinn about something, so I'd chosen to go instead.
I pushed open our apartment door and smiled when I saw the kids wearing aprons while decorating cookies at the table.
"Hey, Monsters!" I said, and they smiled.
"QUINCY!" Izzy shouted, and Quincy looked over at him and waved.
"Hey, Mr. Man, you came back? Want to make cookies?"
Quincy nodded and dropped Izzy's cube on the ground, cracking it in half.
Izzy looked at his broken toy, and I waited for his outburst, but instead, he slid from his chair and toddled over to it.
He picked it up and tried to put it back together, but when he couldn't, Quincy started to cry, and Izzy shook his head.
"No, it's okay. Don't cry. Mama put him down."
I put Quincy on his feet, and Izzy immediately hugged him until he stopped crying.
"Okay, that was just freaking adorable...I wish I had grabbed my phone!" Ana said, then shook an apron at Quincy. "Ready, Mr. Man?"
Seeing Ana with Quincy, the cutest little butterball, made me want to get her pregnant, but I had to wait.
We'd said six months, which meant I had to wait three more months before bringing it up again.
But then Ana caught my eye and winked as if she knew what I was thinking.
"Soon, B." She said, putting Quincy in the highchair before draping him in an apron and handing him cookie frosting.
"Mind if I stay with them...I know we said we wouldn't impose on their relationship, but I think your sister is putting you in the middle again. It sounds like they were talking about you...like she thinks you two maybe are doing it."
"What's it, Mami?" Dani asked, and Ana rolled her eyes.
"IT is finishing your cookie."
"Oh. Then we do it, right?"
"Yes, Beba." She wiped her hands on a dishtowel, "Okay, Monsters, Mama is going to help you finish up the cookies. I need to go see if Dama and Titi want to join us, okay?"
Izzy nodded and continued to paint his cookie bright red while Dani colored hers black and purple...definitely a mini Santana.
Santana's POV
Britt hadn't been kidding.
The door to the apartment was open when I heard my sister yelling at a sobbing Quinn.
"It's not that I don't love you, Luce; it's that I can't fucking trust you!"
"Please?" Quinn sounded so small, and I couldn't take it.
I stepped into the apartment and slammed the door shut.
Ceily looked at me, but Quinn had her face buried in her hands as she tried to take breaths.
She was sobbing so hard that I was afraid that she'd make herself sick again.
"Why can't you trust her?" I stepped closer to my sister, staring her down.
"Because of you." She said, turning her ire on me. "No matter what I do, she will always have been yours first."
"So what? You knew that when you met her."
"And I was fine until you two fucked. Don't even get me started on those little pecks you give each other."
"We don't do that anymore, out of respect for you."
"But you would if I left, right?"
"I don't think so, C...we're different people than we were when we were doing that. It was school girl shit."
"Some school girls. Tell me, Santana." My name sounded so fucking weird rolling off her lips. "Is it true, what Britt told us that Gladys said?"
I hit my forehead with my palm. Celia definitely didn't need to know that.
"Mami indeed said it, but it's not true that I'm in love with Quinn. That ship has sailed."
"When?"
"Huh?"
"When did you fall out of love with Quinn?"
"Uh...when she had her gay panic and fucked Puck...so I'd say before she even knew she was pregnant with Beth."
"And you?" She said to Quinn, who was staring up at us with sad eyes. The hazel appearing as a deeper green than I'd ever seen.
"I love you, Celia!" She snapped. "Everything else is inconsequential."
"Answer me, damnit!"
"That night...after her breakdown."
"While we were together, you were in love with my sister?"
"Yes." She whispered, "But I knew she didn't return my feelings. I told you this in therapy. I jumped when I had the chance, but I could feel that she didn't love me like that, so I got over myself and gave us a shot. We talked about this. You said you forgave me! What changed?"
"You changed, or maybe I just was too blind to see that you've always been this way. Un gran puta y traicionera!"
"Celia, please? I'm sorry!"
"Not sorry enough."
Quinn sobbed harder, looking both pale and pink at the same time.
I touched my sister's arm. She shrugged me off but was glaring at me.
"What can I do to fix this?"
"I don't give a flying fuck what you do. I'm taking Quincy, and I'm leaving."
"NO!" Quinn was enraged now, standing up and staring down Celia. "You will not take our son, Celia. Can we work this out...please? I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that I was sick...I'm sorry we had to terminate...please don't do this! I'll do anything." She slid to her knees and clutched at Celia's hands as she wept against her thighs.
"I just need some space...and you need to do what you do best, put yourself first." Celia snatched her hands away and grabbed a suitcase that was by the door, "Is Quincy upstairs?" She asked me.
"Yes, but sis...you're making a mistake."
"Better this than a bigger mistake marrying a liar."
"Please, Ceily...please?"
The door closed, and Quinn was still begging as she sobbed.
So much for not getting in the middle of this.
C just left Q, is taking Quincy. On her way up!-Ana
Ok, anything I should do?-Britt
Just hand him over. I'll be up soon.-Ana
With Q?-Britt
Yeah. It's like after she handed off Beth, but worse. She can't be alone right now.-Ana
She's knocking. GTG-Britt
I love you!-Ana
I love you too!-Britt
Quinn's POV
I felt pathetic, this was on me, and I had to accept it, but what do you do when you finally let down all your walls to let a person in and they leave you?
"Do you want to come up and have dinner with us? Maybe stay the night?"
I sat staring at the door, hoping that she'd come back with Quincy, but I knew C...once she has her mindset, it's hard to change it.
"I don't want your pity, Santana."
"You know me better. This isn't fucking pity."
"Then what is it?!" I snapped at her, still not looking her way, so she knelt in front of me, her eyes annoyed.
"You've saved my life a million times over because you love me. So, I want to return the favor because I love you."
"So what? Even if I go upstairs, it's not going to fix this. I fucked up somehow, and I need to figure out how to fix it without you."
"Wait, did you do something else?"
I sighed. "Apparently, after the procedure...I was screaming for you and asking for your forgiveness, but I don't remember saying that...do you?"
She nodded and shrugged her shoulder. "I have a pretty good idea. I didn't remember at first, but then I pulled out Henry and started combing through pages to see when you could have done something to me that would make you that remorseful."
"And?"
"Do you remember after Britt's abortion?"
Lightbulbs lit up in my head.
"Yeah. I was shitty to you."
"For supporting her through it even though it wasn't my problem. You told me that Britt deserved a place in hell for what she did and that you'd never be able to look at her the same. Then...do you remember what you said after the hysterectomy?"
I felt a pang in my chest, because yeah, I did remember. "I said that it's what she deserved."
"Exactly. I pushed it away because both times, you said it was after something fell through with Beth. You were hurting, so you decided to lash out when I went to lean on you. I gave you your space, just like I always do when you get in your feelings."
"So, I felt guilty."
"Yes."
"I'm sorry...I should apologize to Britt. She's been so kind to me, texting and checking in."
"She won't know what you're talking about, Q, because I never told her."
"Wait, you didn't?"
"No. In relationships, certain things can only hurt, and that would have really hurt Britt...I couldn't do that to her because I didn't think you really meant it."
"I was an ass. I...I did mean it, San. The procedure changed things; it showed me how hard that kind of thing is; it's not just like a throwaway decision, and in her case, it changed her life negatively."
"You should tell Ceily that you remember and tell her everything."
"And chance it getting back to Britt?"
"I think you should tell her too. Before, she was too vulnerable, but she would be able to hear it without breaking now. You need to start being honest about everything, Quinn because I'm not going to lie; I'm pissed at you too. Of anyone in the world, I should've known about your heart condition."
"I know."
"You're a work in progress, Q. We all are."
And this was why I fucking loved her since the day I met her.
When Santana got vulnerable and looked at me like I was the most important person in the world, I knew that I would do anything to make her look at me like that again.
Maybe Gladys was right about the soulmate thing, but not in this life. We'd kill each other...I couldn't be in love with her because she never fit right.
But her sister, God, Celia, fit perfectly with me.
There's a verse in the Bible about being equally yoked with your spouse, and as close as Ana came to that...Celia was IT for me.
I just had to make her understand that...again, because what she had yet to understand after nearly four and a half years was that Santana wasn't the only Lopez that I would do anything for; in fact, Celia was the ONLY Lopez other than Quincy that I would lay down my life for.
I didn't care about dying as long as it meant I could give her another child; it had been her dream to be a mother of a large family. Still, she didn't trust that she'd be good at being pregnant with her insomnia and work commitments.
So I put off med school despite scoring in the top percentile on the MCAT to deliver her dreams to her. She was in her 30s, and the clock was ticking for her to have a healthy pregnancy.
I wanted to do that because I loved her more than life.
And it blew up in my fucking face, and no amount of pity from Brittany and Santana would fix that.
I was the problem, so I had to also be the solution.
"Thanks for that beautiful idea, San, but I don't give a fuck about being a work in progress because that's not good enough. I am engaged to a dreamer, someone who throws her all at her dreams, and I tried to do the same. I tried to use the same old Fabray manipulation tactics to get what we both wanted, and I can't do that with her. She isn't you."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"I love you, Santana, but you are a fucking pushover. It's unattractive; it took time and space away from you to see it, but as badass, as you used to be, drugs stole that part of you. It's the only thing that kept me hanging on. Seeing your breakdown... made me realize a lot. Celia is everything that matches me. She's driven...and she doesn't quit."
"Harsh."
"Not harsh, honest."
"So, is that a no to dinner?"
"It's a hell to the no."
She nodded and got up from the floor; she looked hurt, but she was trying not to show it, but I knew her. "Okay, cool. If you need me, you know where to find me."
I finally stood, feeling a little exhausted, the pain in my chest getting stronger. "Actually, San-" I began to say, but I had gotten up too fast, and before I could control it, I felt myself falling.
Brittany's POV
"Thanks for watching him."
"We love hanging out with Quincy. Right monsters?"
"Yes!" Izzy and Dani said as I helped them wash their hands at the sink.
Celia bounced Quincy on her hip as he began to whine.
"Shh, it's okay, Nene."
She rubbed his back, and he rested his head on her shoulder.
"You should stay for a bit...get your head together. The cookies are in the oven, and I ordered pizza."
"No thanks, I have a show tonight, and I need to get him over to Mari's, so I'm not late."
"Why don't you let him stay here?"
"Because I know she'll find a way to take him back."
"You should know Quinn better by now." I said as I dried off little hands before shooing them to the kiddie corner.
"Excuse me?"
"Ceily, I get it; she did her usual Quinn thing and didn't tell you everything; it's what she does, but I promise you that it wasn't about you. As for this little guy, she would never keep him from you. She knows better than anyone what it's like to not be with her child. She would never do that to you. Don't you remember how she was the middle person when I put Ana in the hospital? She made sure I saw Izzy, even though you guys said no."
"Right...I know...I-" She put Quincy down and watched as he joined his cousins before turning back to me. "I was angry and knew that it would hurt her if I took him...I thought it would feel good, but honestly, Brittany, it feels like shit."
"Of course it does."
"I broke off an engagement with a woman I had been with for 10 years because she was flirting with other people. That's it, flirting, she became dead to me, but with Q, I have let her back in my life after she fucked my sister."
"Because you love her."
"More than anyone in this world."
"And that's why it hurts that she kept this from you?"
"Exactly. You get it."
"What I don't get is why you're dragging my wife into this, especially after she just lost her mom."
"I know, okay, it's shitty of me to bring up something I worked through three years ago, but I was over it. Then she lied to me."
"Did you ask her why?"
"Why? No, because I know why she's a liar."
"I think it's deeper than that."
"Like what? She trusts Santana more than me because she's still in love with her?"
"But Ceily, Santana didn't know about her condition; she found out right before you did. Like right before."
"Are you just saying that because my sister told you that?"
"No, I was there when she found out. That night you left for Beverly Hills, she told us, and Ana was hurt that she never knew about it."
"Oh."
"Look, of all of us, I have every right not to trust my wife. She's betrayed me in this building, in this apartment, and with Quinn too...but you know what?"
"What?"
"At some point, I realized that if they were going to be together, like really be together, they had a million chances before either of us were in the picture. They had sex as teenagers. Then not again until Ana's breakdown. You two weren't always together between those times, and neither were we, but they didn't cross that line. It took Ana breaking down for it to happen. Quinn has always been an act first think later person...ALWAYS, it's what made her a good cheer captain because she could push feelings to the side. That's how she survived her dad beating her and literally listening to Marco rape Ana over and over again."
"She's never...talked about that."
"Of course not...it's not her story to tell or mine, but you should give her more credit. What the two of them have, Ceily is deeper than you and me. They are like sisters, more now than ever."
"But Gladys said-"
"That they are soulmates?"
"Yeah."
"And you want to take her word?"
"Well yeah, she's her mom."
"Some mom she was. She let your father beat a baby out of your sister and whore her out to Marco. He KNEW she'd been raped and encouraged Marco to come back around to straighten her out so she wouldn't be like YOU."
"That's messed up."
"I know it is. Sure, Marco is nice now, not that I freaking trust him, but he's trying...but it doesn't erase what he did to her, and do you know who was there to pick your sister off the floor when she was bleeding, covered in gross stuff?"
"Quinn."
"Exactly...almost every time. I got mad about it, not realizing just how deep things went between them. I got jealous about it, but then I understood that when your sister wanted to kill herself or screw the entire football team...it was Quinn that distracted her. It was Quinn who insisted she become a Cheerio, join the track team, and it was Quinn that loved her at her worst, no matter what. Of course, Quinn confused that with being in love with her, but I've seen her with you, and with Quincy, I've never seen her so at peace."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Then why did she beg for Santana's forgiveness that day? Why not mine?"
The door to the apartment opened, and Quinn was hanging off of Ana with an ice pack pressed to her face.
"What did you do to her, Santana?!" Celia said, jumping to her feet and rushing over to Quinn.
"She passed out and hit her head before I could cushion it." Ana said, happy to hand off Quinn to Ceily.
She looked over it all, and I didn't blame her.
We didn't want to be in the middle of this shit show, but it seemed like we didn't really have a choice.
Santana's POV
I'd wanted to call an ambulance, but she only blacked out for like a second, and when she was coherent, she threatened my life if I called an ambulance.
So instead, I called Mari, and she was on her way over.
Quinn had suggested that maybe she shouldn't be alone just in case she was concussed, so I took her upstairs.
I wasn't expecting Ceily to be there still.
And I wasn't expecting her to yell at me and immediately run to Quinn, but all of those things happened. Once I was sure that Quinn was safe in Ceily's arms, I grabbed Britt by the front of her shirt and dragged her into our bedroom.
The moment the door was closed, I rammed my fist straight at the wall, not caring about the pain.
"Whoa, do you want to break your hand again?" Britt stepped between the wall and my fist, catching the thud of my fist on her shoulder. "Ouch."
"Shit, I'm sorry!"
"No, it's fine, it didn't hurt...don't get sad."
But I couldn't help it.
The day was too much.
"I just...there's stuff going on...and she is hurting bad, B...like really bad, and I feel like this breakup would kill her. Not seeing Quincy could kill her. She's...my best friend and I can't lose her because of this. I don't want to lose anyone else, B. I'm so fucking tired of losing people."
Right then, all I was losing was my mind as my voice cracked.
Britt wrapped me in a hug and rocked me from side to side.
"Shh...you're not going to lose her. If Ceily can't come to her senses, then we will just have to make Quinn move across the hall and be all up in her business like we used to be."
"Yeah?"
"We start together, we end together, and you and I aren't ready to end."
"Sure aren't."
"Then she can't end either."
"Thanks, B."
"Want a distraction?"
"Please?"
"Can you lend me 12 million dollars?" I pulled back and looked at her sideways.
"What? Why?"
"I was going to do this better, but I think now, you need to think about something other than Quinn."
My head was spinning; I sat on the couch and looked up at her, then patted the seat cushion next to me.
"Talk to me while you rub my feet, please?"
She grinned and nodded. "Of course."
I bit my lip as she immediately began pressing those glorious fingers against my arches. "Okay, that feels...so good. Talk, Britt Britt."
"Frankie is leaving the show. Her wife just got traded to the New York Liberty, so she's going to be staying in NYC."
"Oh, cool. You'll have a friend close by."
"Yeah, it's more than friends, though." I didn't let my heart sink; I just waited because B didn't always mean things the way she said them, and sure enough, her cheeks went pink. "That's not what I meant."
"I figured. Go on."
"She owned a dance studio in L.A. When she came to New York, she hired someone to run it, and they ran it into the ground."
"Ouch."
"Anyway, she was thinking of starting a dance company here and has picked the perfect property to start, but it's 24 million dollars. She asked me if I wanted to partner with her and run it together."
"Would you be 50/50 partners?"
"Yes. That's what I mean by more than friends. We'd be business partners."
"And she has the money to cover her half?"
"Yes, she sold her dance company and the building, so she has exactly half. So if you could maybe loan it to me, and I'll pay it back."
Britt had been right. This was a total distraction.
"Actually, I have a proposition for you, Britt Britt." Her fingers stopped, and I glared, "Don't stop first of all."
"My bad. I'm just surprised. What's your proposition?"
"Our property business is doing insanely well, and the only property in my atmosphere that MY company doesn't maintain is this building. I know you wanted to do this yourself, and I haven't bothered, but now...well...I'd like to buy you out."
"Buy me out?"
"Well, yeah. That way, I can take ownership and revamp the property. We charge the cheapest rents in TriBeCa, which will drive us in the red because property taxes are rising. Right now, you're okay, but you'll start bleeding money soon."
"How do you know this?"
I bit my lip, not wanting to admit that I'd been snooping, but after seeing the way a little lie could turn into a big one, I figured I'd fess up.
"You and I share an accountant, Britt. I asked to look at the books when I was here last year; it's why I told Celia that she needed to either purchase the apartment downstairs or I'd raise her rent."
"Wait...you are making money moves in MY building without telling me?"
"I'm sorry, I know how you get confused about money sometimes; I was just helping. She pays double the rent that Sugar paid for the space."
"That makes me feel icky inside, Ana. Don't do that; we need to tell each other those kinds of things. I didn't even know I had an accountant."
"Well, you do. What do you say, Britt Britt?"
"No."
"What? Why not?"
"Because we should be partners too. I will sell you half the property, and you can manage it with your company."
"Really?!"
"Yes...but you have to agree to manage my building too, and we will pay you to manage it."
"So, you'll own it, but I'll maintain it?"
"Exactly."
"I can live with that. You've got yourself a deal, Lopez." I said, grinning at B, and she leaned in.
"Seal it with a kiss?" Then she kissed me hard; yup, I was definitely distracted.
Quinn's POV
Santana got rid of me the first second that she could, and I didn't blame her.
Especially since it was Ceily that came running for me.
"Are you okay, Luce?" She asked as she led me to a chair.
"I'm fine." I was in full HBIC mode; she'd called me a whore and a betrayer. Those weren't words I could forgive easily; they were words my father had used after I got pregnant with Beth.
"Do you need anything?"
"Space." I said, then I heard my little angel.
"Mama?" He called as he toddled over, his little smile coming into my line of sight. "Boo Boo?"
I put down the bag of peas and held my hands out to him.
"Come up, my sweet boy."
I was about to lean forward to pick him up, but Ceily scooped him up, and my chest got tight, but she wasn't spiteful; she was handing him to me.
"You might be concussed; you shouldn't be bending over right now."
"I wasn't aware that you still felt concerned over my well-being Celia." I said as I straightened out Quincy's clothes while he played with my hoop earring.
"I was out of line earlier."
"You think?"
"Look, I'm trying to apologize, and I can't if you do this Ice Queen nonsense."
"Then don't. If you can't handle me at my worst, Celia, then I don't want you to handle me at all."
"Are you serious?"
I raised my eyebrow. "Do I need to tell you where you can put your apology?" I snapped, and she looked at me with her jaw open and tears in her eyes.
I had to remind myself that Celia wasn't Santana when it came to my bitchy side for maybe the millionth time.
Celia was all heart, and words mattered to her.
A lot.
"You're right. Britt said as much, you have a history of not having your kid, and I basically threatened to take him from you after our loss. I'm sorry, Luce. That won't happen again."
Mari came into the apartment with her medical bag, looking like she'd come straight from the hospital.
"Hey! What's going on?" She kissed my cheek, then Celia's, before lifting Quincy into her arms. "Who's Titi's biggest boy?" She asked him, and Izzy came running over.
"ME! Titi's biggest boy is Izzy!"
Quincy clapped with excitement.
"Okay then, then Titi has a bunch of biggest boys!"
"Yay! Quincy, come play?" He asked, and Mari put my son down, and away he went, leaving me with the stares of two of the Lopez sisters.
"What's going on?"
"I was an ass, as usual...I may have been a bit harsh and left Quinn feeling drained or something, anyway she was downstairs with Ana, and she passed out, hit her head...refuses to go to the hospital." Ceily spoke for me, and I sighed.
"Can we go somewhere private, Mari?" And thank the sweet Lord for Mari; she nodded and gestured for the door.
"Let's go down to your place. Can you stand?"
"Yes." They both watched me like they were afraid I'd fall, but I straightened my back and marched to the door of the apartment. Then I looked back at Ceily, HBIC glare in full force. "I'll call you when we're finished so that you can bring him home."
Celia nodded, not bothering to contradict me. "Okay, my love." She smiled at me, but I didn't respond in kind; I wasn't feeling very loving right then. I was a whore and betrayer, after all.
I just nodded and left her standing there, looking heartbroken.
It serves her right.
APRIL
Brittany's POV
From the time we'd first seen the old space near the Hudson to when we purchased the building, the neighborhood had been gentrified. Everything was high-end and not an abandoned bunch of warehouses anymore.
Which looked good for us.
The owner was a friend of August's, so they didn't try to up the price at the last second.
We closed on the property with 26.2 million, with that extra 2.2 coming from Ana since we were short.
She gave it to me while waving off my promise to pay her back by claiming that the building was worth more than she thought.
Frankie and I closed on April 1st, which we both laughed about.
And then we got my Dad down there on April 5th, since he was in town for Izzy's 5th birthday.
"So, what do you think?" I asked him after he had gone through the whole place with an engineer. "Can we make it amazing?"
He nodded.
"This was a good buy ladies, the inspection report is great, and we have zoning permissions to beginning construction. Is this going to be expensed to SRW?"
Frankie looked at me, "Uh, what's that?"
And then I remembered that in my excitement to tell Frankie that I had the money, I forgot to tell her the deal Ana, and I had made.
"It's Ana and my Dad's property management company. When I sold Ana half my building, the deal was that she'd give me however much I needed if I allowed her company to do an overhaul on the building. She left it up to me whether I wanted the company to property manage this building."
Dad tried to look busy as he went over the blueprints.
"So what did you decide? I mean, you are the majority owner since you paid more."
"We are equals, so I won't ever make a move without your say so."
She smiled at Dad and then cleared her throat. "Mr. Pierce?"
He looked over at Frankie and crossed his arms over his chest.
"What did I ask you to call me?"
"Rob."
"Then?"
"Right, how would that work, Rob? Do we need to give SRW a cut of the business profits?"
"Essentially, SRW will take over the upfront costs of any construction and design. Since this is a total overhaul, the property will be handed over in pristine condition, meeting all city and state codes. We will have people on standby for emergency issues, but we won't charge for the first year; after that, you will be invoiced for property upkeep on a monthly or quarterly basis."
Frankie looked to me, then back at Dad.
"Do we get a discount?" She whispered to him, and he grinned.
"Of course, I'll make sure that we get this done by your projected grand opening."
"If Brittany is a yes, then I will be too."
I rolled my eyes.
"The building is yours, Dad."
He fist-pumped. "Sweet!" He had this crazy look in his eyes, then pulled us both into a giant hug. "This is going to be my BEST work!"
"Yours?" I asked when he pulled back, and he blushed.
"Well...if you hired us, I already told Santana that I planned to stay in the Scarsdale house so I could oversee the project from beginning to end."
"Really?!" I squealed.
"Yes."
By the time all was said and signed, the three of us had cheered and jumped up and down like five times.
I'd asked God to give my family hope and light.
I prayed that prayer every night in crisis, and I think God was answering my prayer, bit by bit.
Santana's POV
"You look like shit." I said to Quinn when I stopped by her apartment straight from the airport. She came to the door dressed in stained sweats, looking extra pale. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit."
"How much?" I didn't dare cross that threshold if she was contagious because we'd all just gotten over a stomach bug that traveled through the whole family for two weeks straight. Once was enough.
"I'm not contagious, and before you ask, I didn't go get myself pregnant either."
"Then what's wrong?"
"Heart stuff, not hospital worthy. I'm just stressed out; in the past, I would bounce back quickly, but after the procedure, I've been taking longer to heal."
"When's the last time you went in for a physical?"
"January."
"It might be time to go in; this could be something more."
"Yeah, I know." She muttered before waving me inside, then shutting the door and locking it. She leaned back against it and then smiled at me. "How was L.A?"
I grinned as I took off my jacket. It had been an adjustment to go from the heat of L.A. to the slight chill of New York, but it was good to be home.
After Isaac's birthday, I'd jumped on a plane with Celia and flew to L.A to finish recording with Mercedes.
Celia had decided to stay.
And I had to break that to Quinn because my sister didn't plan to.
They'd decided to take some time apart before deciding on their next steps.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but losing a baby will do that to people.
Priorities change. The whole thing can make or break a couple, and it seemed to be breaking them down.
"Where is she?" Quinn asked after pulling a bottle of water out of the fridge and sliding it to me. "Not that she cares for me to know, but you know HER son hasn't seen her in two weeks."
"She met this art buyer and decided to stay a few more days."
"Was the dealer a woman?" I shrugged, even though I knew it was. "You don't know, or you don't want to tell me?"
I shrugged again. "No idea."
"So it was a woman." Quinn was drilling holes in my face, but I wasn't going to snitch on my sister.
"Q, I have no idea, even if it was, she spent the whole fucking trip talking about you and Quincy."
"Talking about us to you isn't talking to us."
"I know."
"Does she know?"
"She does."
"Then what is the fucking deal!" She yelled at me and then had to grip the counter, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.
"You need to go to the hospital, Q."
"No." She gritted out.
"Stop being so fucking stubborn. Maybe I can't lift you, but B sure can."
"Don't you dare bring Britt into this, Santana!"
"Then let me go with you to the hospital, Q. If it's just something small, we won't have to tell anyone, and you'll have company."
"Promise me that you won't tell anyone, and we can go."
"I promise that I won't tell anyone if it's nothing." She smirked. I gave her my pinky, and she gave me a small smirk, squeezed my pinky with hers, then grabbed her purse.
"I love that you know me enough to pay attention to my words."
"Or you know, I might just be better at being a manipulative bitch than you are."
"Touché."
Quinn's POV
There has never been anyone in my life more smug than Santana Lopez, except maybe Sue Sylvester.
She would always get this shit-eating grin on her face, but when all of the tests were done after two long hours and a fucking cold x-ray, there was nothing but concern in her eyes.
And then the idea of surgery came up.
The cardiologist seemed excited to get a shot at cutting me open, and I was not a fan.
San sat there with her hands folded in her lap, listening to the doctor with a raised eyebrow, and then when he left, she looked at me, concern etching deeper on her face.
"You can call Mari and Saul." I said, and she nodded, looking anxious as she pulled out her phone.
"What about Celia?" She muttered as she looked down at her phone.
"No. Can you ask B to pick up Quincy?"
"I texted her while we waited on a cab. Didn't tell her why, just that we needed some bestie time."
"Thanks, S."
"I'm gonna make my call in the hallway so you can rest." She went to stand, but I cleared my throat.
"No." She froze and looked at me in confusion. "I need to hear your call. I don't want you calling HER."
"Okay, don't get your panties in a twist; I was just trying to let you rest. I can call in here."
She put the phone on speaker and then called Mari, telling her everything in detail. Mari immediately agreed with the previous doctor.
I needed mitral valve surgery, which I had suggested when I found out the pregnancy took but everyone told me I was crazy.
That it was dangerous, and it just pissed me off.
And then it reminded me that I was supposed to be going into my second year of med school instead of rushing my body into a second pregnancy so soon after Quincy.
I still wanted to carry our child, but I knew better now.
Before I did anything again, I wanted to make sure that my heart was in perfect condition, and according to Mari, who I had told about my hopes of trying again, this would be my best bet.
And it was minimally invasive; there wouldn't be a long scar between my boobs like San had.
I'd be better in 4-6 weeks, but I wouldn't be able to pick up Quincy on my own.
Like everything, it had pros and cons, but I felt like it was the best option after Mari went through it all.
San looked antsy after Mari said she'd call Saul to get the ball rolling; while he couldn't operate on family, he knew the best of the best.
And that was what I was going to get.
"What is it?" I snapped at San.
"She should know."
"You promised me that you wouldn't call her."
"No, I promised that if NOTHING were wrong, I wouldn't call."
"San, please?"
"Q, she needs to know. This is important if something...God forbid something happened to you; Quincy should have Celia close by."
"Fine, but only AFTER I go into surgery."
"Who's to say Mari won't call her now?"
And then I felt sick, maybe I didn't want Celia to know, but if she was going to find out, it should be me who told her.
I owed her that.
She didn't want secrets between us, and having surgery would come off that way if I didn't tell her myself.
"Fine, give me my phone."
"You're going to call her?"
"Obviously."
"Say less."
MAY
Brittany's POV
After years of seeing my wife spiral, I have learned to look for the signs in her moods.
She'd been clean for nearly two years but now was waking me up before sunrise with angry piano playing.
I patted the cold sheets next to me and felt that her side was still made.
When I had laid down for bed, she had told me that she was going to clean up and then come to bed.
But the clock told me that it'd been at least four hours since then.
Dad had been putting Frankie and me to work on some of the smaller stuff so that we would feel some extra pride in our new space.
Working had made me so sore and tired that I was coming straight home, scarfing down dinner, helping with bedtime, and then passing out.
On weekends, I would shower Ana with love, and attention but I knew that it was bothering her that we weren't spending as much time together.
But I didn't think it was bad enough for her to be skipping cuddly time to play stormy music in the middle of the night right above Dani and Izzy's heads.
I shuffled into my slippers and then went up to the loft.
Ana was thundering away, her face all scrunched up in concentration, but the music wasn't something she was creating; it was the funeral march.
That's what she'd called it, and I didn't like the sound of it once I knew what it was called.
But it wasn't soft; it was angry.
I moved behind her and rested my hands on her shoulders. She flinched but kept playing; this time, she shuddered, and I heard the sob.
"Talk to me." I said, kissing her neck and then her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Her hair draped her face as she continued to play like she was being forced to.
I slid on the bench beside her and began hitting the high notes, not knowing what I was playing but wanting to interrupt the storm that was going on with Ana.
She shouldn't be stressed out because our lives were finally happy.
We were finally getting the life we wanted, piece by piece...but if this was about what I thought, it must have gotten worse.
Frustrated with my changing her song, she stopped playing and closed the key lid, but she waited for me to move my hands.
Thankfully.
I rubbed her thigh, and she finally looked at me, her eyes bloodshot but clear.
"She's still mad that I took Ceily's side, even though her surgery was a success, and even though they got back together, she's still mad at me."
"So what?"
"She's planning their wedding, and she told me that she didn't want me in the wedding. She is asking Fran to be her maid of honor and Mercedes to be her ONLY bridesmaid."
"Maybe she thinks that Celia will pick you."
"Nope. She told me that she knows that Celia is going to ask Sandra and Mari to stand by her side because she thinks that I'll be too fat."
"Not fat, pregnant." I said, reminding her, and she smirked. "At least, we hope so."
She'd been on hormones in preparation for IVF and had finally told Quinn that we were trying again.
Even though she says that she's happy for us, Q has been different towards Ana ever since.
"Maybe we can put it off so I can be in her wedding?"
"No...you promised me six months."
"I know, I just...she's my BEST friend, how could she not want me in her wedding?"
"Well, we didn't have her at ours."
"We eloped."
"So?"
"I hate when you're right." She grumbled.
"No, you don't. You're just hormonal." She growled at me but didn't argue. "What can I do to make it better?"
"A bubble bath and a backrub."
"You got it...anything else?"
"Sexy times."
"Really? You haven't been in the mood in forever."
"But I need it right now."
"Say less, baby love."
"And maybe, carry me bridal style?"
"Okay." I stood up and waited for her to stand. When she did, she grinned at me.
"I was kidding."
"Well, I wasn't, so get over here and let me carry your fine ass downstairs."
She giggled at me, "Okay, Britt Britt."
Her smile was back as I pampered her until she was freshly bathed, oiled, and cuddled in bed.
Then she climbed on my hips and thrust down.
"You're not too tired for this?" I asked, and she shook her head.
"We haven't scissored in a long time, B...can I...top you?"
"Sure, Baby."
I swallowed a yawn and let her move my legs into position before pressing her wetness on mine.
The feeling was weird after so long, but it still felt good.
She took out her frustration on my body, twisting me up from one position to the next until I could no longer keep my eyes open after three orgasms.
I passed out with her panting on top of me. Her fingers pressed deep into me.
This was better than her stormy funeral march.
Having her against me like that, while I drifted off to sleep sometime around sunrise, was almost like heaven.
Santana's POV
I couldn't sleep after fucking Britt to sleep, so I made breakfast, then got the kids up and fed before taking them down to the 7th floor.
When I knocked on the door, my sister answered in her old paint-covered overalls with a grin on her face.
"Hello, little monsters, come in. Quincy is finishing breakfast." The kids ran into the apartment, and my sister was standing to the side waiting for me to enter.
"Is she in there?"
"Of course she is. She's still on bed rest...but you know that."
"Has she told you anything about her plans for the wedding?"
"Just to butt out of it until she was ready for my opinion."
"Can we talk in the hall?"
"Why?"
"Please?"
"But why?"
"Because I don't want to start shit with her."
My sister sighed and then stepped into the hall but left the apartment door open.
"What's wrong?"
"She's punishing me."
"What do you mean?"
"For insisting you come back here and handle your fucking business, she's been a bitch to me ever since. I think there's a part of her that feels like you only came back because I flew to L.A. and threatened your life."
"Which you definitely did do."
"It shouldn't matter, you LOVE her, but you had your head up your ass. I didn't want her to die, and you have regrets."
"Gee, thanks."
"Am I wrong?"
"No."
"Then why the fuck is she keeping me from being in the wedding?" I stomped my foot, feeling the tears sting the corners of my eyes.
"Because I asked her to."
"IT WAS YOU?" I yelled in her face. "Why?! Is this about us fucking like five years ago?" I growled in her face, and she rolled her eyes.
"No."
"Then what is it?"
The door opened more, and Quinn stepped out looking more like her old self but still annoyed as ever.
She shoved a cardboard box at me. "Just take it."
Celia put her hand over the top so I couldn't open it and stared at Quinn, "But you had a plan, Luce...don't let her bully you out of it."
Q looked from me to Celia, then back again. "You didn't tell your family?"
"No. Just you because we are supposed to be best friends!" I said, wiping at my tears. I felt so fucking unhinged and was pissed that I was coming off so damned weak.
"What am I missing?" Celia asked.
"I'm taking hormones; we are starting our IVF journey...it's making me feel too much." I admitted, and Celia took the box, handed it back to Quinn, and then pulled me against her. "What are you doing?"
"That's so fucking exciting because I'm doing it too." She whispered against my face.
I pulled back. "You are?"
"Yup...it's going to take a bit longer, of course, because I'm 32, I have to be on them a little longer, but we want to have as close to a honeymoon baby as possible."
What had been angry tears were now happy tears.
"So it's not because I'm going to be pregnant at your wedding?" I asked Q.
"No, weirdo. Open the box." She shoved the box back at me.
And I looked to my sister, who nodded at me. "Open it, Sis."
I yanked off the top, threw it to the side, and saw a beautiful Stoll like ministers wore.
Then a notecard.
WE couldn't decide who owed you more,
So instead of starting a fuss,
Would you do the honor of marrying us?
Then there was a little drawing of two brides, a picture of someone dressed in black, and an arrow pointing at it.
YOU, it said.
I'd ruined their surprise with my overreaction.
Of course, they wouldn't shun me.
I couldn't wait to be done with these hormones because I was beginning to feel insane.
"I'd be honored to officiate!"
"Good, I'm going back to bed. The kids are going to be late." She kissed my sister and then punched my shoulder. "You should come back and see me after you drop off the kids; I think you need to talk through these emotions."
"I know, but Amy is on fucking vacation!"
"I thought you said she had a death in the family?" Ceily asked.
"Yeah, but in Southern Italy, so it's a vacation. It's rude."
"On that note, get the kids to school. Come visit, bring new music. I need something new to listen to." Q said and then went back inside, only to send all the kids storming out into the hall seconds later.
I felt so relieved, and obviously so did Q.
June
Quinn's POV
I sat anxiously in the waiting room, with my hands clenched in my lap.
My six weeks check-up was supposed to be quick, but after my x-rays and bloodwork, they'd asked me to wait.
Celia was over at Britt's studio to help with some design stuff because I told her that it wasn't a big deal...just routine, but I shouldn't have.
I needed her, and instead of going with my base nature and doing it alone, I texted her.
They asked me to wait. I'm nervous.-Luce
I'm on my way!-Ceily
Are you sure?-Luce
I'm on my way.-Ceily
Okay :)-Luce
I was pacing the waiting room when Ceily showed up, looking flushed and a little sweaty.
"That was fast!"
"I was on my way anyway. As soon as I got to the studio and told Britt that you had your follow-up, she looked at me like I was insane and told me to get out."
"She's your relationship guru, C."
"I know, don't tell anyone."
"Everyone knows."
She scowled but then peppered my face with kisses before pulling me into a hug.
We looked out over the busy city as she held me, and I never felt more grateful for her.
"Quinn Fabray?" My surgeon came into the waiting room and caught my eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Come with me."
I felt like I was walking to the gauntlet, but at least I had the love of my life holding my hand.
As we sat in the doctor's office, he flipped through my scans and then gave me a polite smile.
"Can you not give her a heart attack?" Celia snapped, and he nodded.
"Right, I just find myself amazed at how well Quinn is healing. Your heart is in great shape, maintain your low sodium diet, and while there's still a little lingering inflammation, it's not unusual. As a precaution, we'll get you on a round of antibiotics to combat any lingering infections."
"That's it?"
"Yes. I want to see you in six months for a follow-up."
"Thank you!"
"It was my pleasure."
Quincy was born a day after San's birthday, they'd missed being birthday twins by a single day, but still, she's insisted on kidnapping him for a few hours to have some bday bestie time.
It was a great help because he wasn't around while we set up his 2nd birthday party at Sandra's house.
By the time they got to the house, they were in matching outfits and sunglasses.
"Really? Don't you already have two mini-yous?" I asked San when she handed me, Quincy.
"They are too picky. You'll see when he's five like Isaac. He'll want to wear whatever he wants...I mean, look at my son, Q."
I looked over, and Izzy was dressed in pajama pants and a bright red Elmo shirt with Dani's purple sandals on his feet.
"Why is he dressed like that?"
"I know, right? He looks homeless, but B is all about letting him find his style."
"God help you."
She grinned, raised her fist, and Quincy bumped it.
"That's right, Mr. Man. Who's your favorite Titi?"
"You!" He screeched in my ear.
"Not this again. Why do you girls always do that?"
"Because we are all competitive, Q. Duh! Now, where's this cake?"
"It's not time yet...you got here an hour late."
"I was teaching Mr. Man to be fashionably late."
She was glowing in a way I had only seen twice before, and it had to be more than her birthday being the day before.
"Did it take?" I asked as Quincy squirmed.
"Down Mama, pees?"
I whistled to Celia, and she turned around and burst into laughter when she saw our son.
When she was paying attention, I put down Quincy, knowing that she'd make sure he didn't wander too far.
"So?" I asked San as I stepped closer, the moment reminding me of Christmas Eve.
I looked over at Britt, and she waved happily at me before continuing her conversation with Sandra.
How far we'd come.
"We don't know yet. Our appointment is next week."
I took her hands in mine and kissed her knuckles.
"I'm praying that everything goes well."
"Thanks, Q."
"I love you."
"Even though I made your son look like an amateur pimp?"
"Yes, even after that. I mean, it was me that taught Izzy to say fuck."
"Oh...I owe you that back, don't I. Where is Mr. Man?" She turned to walk away, and I gripped her elbow.
"Don't you dare."
She cackled. "Say less, Q...and you might want to let me go. Britt's been super territorial lately."
My blood ran cold. "Again?"
"Not like that, more like, she wants to bang me every second that she can. If you touch me too long, she may need to take me over to Scarsdale to get your scent off me."
"That's gross."
"Like you haven't dreamed of watching." She winked, and I felt my blush.
"Been there, done that." I quipped, and she cackled again.
And then went over to sit on Britt's lap, just like she always should be doing.
It felt good that we were all back on even footing.
Like we were living an answered prayer.
About fucking time.
