U Move, I Move (John Legend feat. Jhene Aiko)


SANTANA'S POV


I stayed by Quinn's side for as long as I could. Celia had been a smug little asshole when I picked her drunk ass up from jail, but she changed her tune when she saw the mother of her children hooked up to tubes and wires.

"Luce? Oh God, I'm sorry. I got jealous, which is on me, not you. I'm so sorry, babe." She blubbered.

I didn't believe the fucking tears for a second.

Quinn was still unconscious, and Sandra was out in the waiting room with Isaac talking to Britt on the phone.

I knew I had limited time to talk to my sister before someone else inserted their opinion.

"How long have you been like this, Ceily?"

She looked up at me with bloodshot eyes and then back at Quinn before whispering her response. "I started drinking heavily after Papi died. Q got me to deal with my depression in better ways. I was good, but then Britt choked you, Brenda died, and Quinn cheated with you. Everything after that is a blur after I watched Papi's house explode."

"So you were functioning. Have to be; otherwise, I would have noticed."

"Yes, and really Santana, would you have noticed? You are barely around; you know nothing about anything. You didn't even come to Quinn's fucking med school graduation. You constantly let her down, and what does she do? She rolls over and takes it. I'm surprised she's not the one with a drinking problem."

"So you know you have a problem?" I said, ignoring the rude way she was lashing out. I'd learned years ago to never validate a drunk's hurt feelings. Focus on the facts.

But my sister was taking personal digs, and it was hard to shake…but I had to manage my expectations of what I could get from her.

She hadn't let go of me and Quinn being so close or us sleeping together. It'd been a decade since we fucked; it was stupid to keep harping on it.

"Of course, I know I'm a drunk, but rehab doesn't work. If Q kept her wandering eyes to herself, shit like this wouldn't happen."

"You did this, Celia. Not Quinn, you, so stop that bullshit right now. As far as rehab goes, it doesn't work if you don't do the work, trust me."

She glared at me, "Let me be clear, Santana; the last thing I will EVER do is trust you."

"Why the hell not?"

"My life has been hell since Papi died. Everything in this family that has gone wrong is centered around you and your bullshit. I was an idiot to marry your best friend because try as I might, I can't fucking get away from you. Do you know how frustrating it is to know that I will always come second to you and your fucking kids?"

"Hey! Don't curse my kids! None of that shit is true. Stop projecting your shit onto me. She and I aren't nearly as close as we used to be out of respect for you!"

"She had two days off for the first time in months, and what did she do? She went to Lima because you asked."

"Daniela was raped. Quinn is her godmother. If I couldn't get there, I wanted to know Quinn would be because she got me through my shit."

"You have a wife!"

"I know that."

"So stop calling mine!"

"My kids trust her, and she loves them! Why is that a fucking problem?"

"More than ours?"

"What?"

"Do you know how often she has put your fucking kids before ours? It's beyond fucked up. I wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for her choosing other people over our kids and me!"

"Curse my kids one more time and I won't be so forgiving!" I snapped, and she rolled her eyes.

"Sure, my bad."

"Thank you. So you blame Quinn for being an alcoholic?"

"No, I blame YOU!"

I stood from my perch in the chair by Quinn's bed and moved across the room until I could stand over my sister.

She looked up at me and glared as she dared me to hurt her, but I wouldn't do that.

"If you want to put your shit on me, that's fine, but never again will you take your shit out on her."

"So you're on her side?"

It sucked to say it, but I wasn't going to lie.

"Yes."

"That's really fucked up. I'm your flesh and blood, your real sister, not her!"

She was standing toe to toe with me now, looking like she was ready to swing. I knew that if she swung, I would knock her out, but I kept my hands to myself until she touched me.

Quinn was lying in a hospital bed broken because of Celia's bullshit. I wasn't going to land either of us in a bed next to her.

"What's going on in here?!" Sandra said, ready to scold us.

"She's not worth it, Sandra, don't worry." I said, turning towards Sandra. Even after all these years and learning from Marco that you never look away from your adversary, I still hadn't learned.

As I was turning back to Celia, my body flew backward as she tackled me to the ground. I blocked my face as she wailed on me. I had thought that I'd hit her back, but the smell of the vodka stopped me.

She wasn't in her right mind, and I was.

I'd pretty much given her permission to hit me instead of Quinn; why should I be surprised that she'd actually done it?

Security was called, and we were asked to leave the hospital.

I had a busted lip, but that was all Celia had managed. I'd been through worse shit. Carmen had pistol-whipped me, so my sister's half-assed punches were nothing.


"Mama says for you to call her once we leave the hospital." Isaac said as I lay across the backseat with my head in his lap.

Sandra had insisted on driving back to New York for the night; Celia didn't put up a fight; instead, she passed out in the front seat moments after we pulled off.

"I need a minute, Papa, please."

"Too late." He said as he held my ringing phone out to me.

My head was throbbing, but I'd been holding it together pretty well, but then Britt's face was on the phone.

Her blonde hair was blowing in the wind as she sat outside our Lima house. She looked sweaty like she'd been out for a night run.

She smiled when she saw me, and I was a crying mess.

"Hey! Why are you crying? What happened to your face, Baby?"

"I…I need you to come out here sooner, B." I whimpered, and she nodded.

"Okay, I'll find a way, even if I have to stick the girls in the car and drive all night. How are you holding up?"

"Not well…Celia and I fought."

"Does she look worse?"

"No, she's fine; I didn't hit back."

"Where is she now?"

"Asleep in the front seat."

"Are you headed back to the city?"

"Yes, we're having Quinn transferred to a city hospital tomorrow."

"Where are you staying tonight?"

"At Mari's."

"Okay, I'm going to head out soon; I should be there by morning."

"Drive safely, please?"

"Of course, I'm bringing Sweetie…I won't be alone. Can you promise me the same, that you won't be alone tonight?"

I knew she was worried I would spiral like my sister, but I was so past the days of numbing my pain. I wanted to feel everything. It helped me remember that I was alive.

"I won't be alone, I promise, B."

"Good. Close your eyes and rest for now. Call me when you get to the city, so I know you're okay."

"I will. Let me know when you get on the road."

"Okay."

I handed Isaac the phone back and closed my eyes, soothed to sleep by his hushed conversation with Britt.

My body ached the longer time went on, but I wouldn't let Celia see me stumble when I stepped out of the car thirty minutes later.

She wasn't glaring anymore. Instead, she ignored my existence when Isaac and I wished her and Sandra a good night.

When Sandra pulled off, Isaac hugged me and helped me up the stairs to Mari's front door.

"Are you okay?" He asked as I whimpered.

"Yeah, she hit me harder than I thought."

"She looked crazy when she was on top of you."

"That's because right now, she is crazy!"

"Is it true that you and Dama cheated together?" My son asked, and I froze just as I was about to knock on Mari's door.

I looked at him and could see the worry on his face. "That was a really long time ago; it was when I was doing drugs; I regret it, okay?"

He nodded and then muttered a vicious burn, "Maybe you deserved to get beat up a long time ago then."

Well shit.


I was so happy to see Norah moments later because she dragged Isaac off towards the guest room, leaving me with all the heaviness that the day brought.

"You okay?" Mari asked as she entered the living room with her medical bag while munching on an apple.

"I'm fine."

"Sandra called and told me Celia beat you up. Can I see your lip?"

"It's fine."

"Let me see." She handed her apple to me. "Hold this."

I held her half-eaten apple while she touched my face.

"Fuck, that hurts!" I growled, and she smirked.

"If I don't stitch it, it will be a nasty scar…but I don't have anything to numb you."

"It's fine, just do it."

She took the apple back and ate it before slipping on gloves.

I sat there clenching my teeth as she sunk a fishhook needle into the skin beneath my lip. She seemed to get a sick pleasure out of it. Every time that I hissed, she grinned even more.

"Okay, all done, just four stitches."

"JUST? That shit hurt!"

"Don't you have tattoos?" She teased.

"Yes, but those are easier than you repeatedly stabbing me."

"Shut up and let me finish." She put some cream on it and then a bandage. "Okay, all done, limit any liquid around that area for the next few days."

I glared, knowing exactly what she was inferring as if I was interested in going down on my wife with a fucked up face.

No thanks.

"I'm tired." I sighed, "Where can I sleep?"

"With me, Saul is at work tonight and after the night you had, I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone."

"I already called Britt and plan to attend a meeting tomorrow."

"That's great, but I still want you to stay in the room with me."

"Okay. Lead the way."

I showered and changed into one of Saul's oversized shirts before sliding into the bed with my sister, who was reading with her glasses on.

When I looked at her, I could see she was still smirking.

"Why are you smiling? I'm fairly sure that medical journal isn't funny."

"I guess…this just feels awesome." She took off her glasses, tossed the journal to the side, and cuddled beside me. Her smile was even bigger. "I haven't had a sleepover like this since Brenda was alive. We did this from time to time, I'd crawl in her bed, and we'd do this."

"I've only ever had that kind of thing with Quinn…with Britt, it turned to sex, but with Quinn, we'd cuddle and just talk all night."

"You love her; I can see it every time you two are together."

"Ceily thinks we are more than friends."

"Aren't you though?"

"She's my sister. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for Q, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be alive without me either."

"How has Britt handled it?"

"It was hard for a really long time, but eventually Britt told me how it made her feel, and then backed off. Something about her backing off and letting me realize on my own that I needed to put up some sort of barrier between me and Q, changed things."

"Are you sure? When is the last time you two were even around each other long enough to see if there is still something there?"

"Mari, I promise you, there is nobody that I want more than Brittany. Trust me, she's tried to find other women to take her place."

"Why?"

"She doesn't have a sex drive, so things between us aren't really intimate like they used to be. So, she brings in other people to help things along."

I saw the realization dawn on Mari's face.

"So that's what Sugar is? I had suspicions but thought I was just seeing things."

"Yeah, she's been our third for years now. I don't know what we would do without her, she and I don't really do things, but I know she's done stuff with B."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Yeah, it's not romantic between them, never has been. I don't know how to explain it, but it works for us."

"And she's been nonviolent, right?"

"Yeah, we only get rough if I beg for it."

Mari scrunched up her nose but then winked. "Get it, sis."

"Quinn and I are done being more than just best friends. I don't want anyone else but Britt, even when Sugar is there, she holds me or does whatever Britt says, but we never go at it alone."

"That's so interesting. I don't think I could do that…Saul and I are very monogamous."

"But you role play, right?"

"Well yeah."

"So, you play different people; it's something like that except there is an extra person. It works for us. They're driving here right now, so we'll see them tomorrow. Don't make it weird."

"Oh come on, I can't ask questions?"

I cackled, and my lip stung. "Shit that hurts."

She reached out and smoothed her finger over the bandage. "Try not to smile too hard; it will tear the stitches."

"Noted."

I fell asleep curled up with my big sister and felt just as safe as I was sleeping next to my wife or one of my kids.

For so long in my childhood, I had wanted to be closer to my sisters, Quinn had filled that void for me, but now my sisters would be what I needed.

Being back in New York would be a whole new chapter for us, even if this was the third time we were moving here.

I knew things would be different this time because we were here with our kids, on our terms, without any extra baggage.

Quinn needed us to be her tether, just like she had always been ours, and I knew that we would do everything we could to give her the support she'd needed all this time but hadn't asked for.


When I woke up, Daniela was staring at my face. I smiled and then felt a shock of pain.

"Shit." I mumbled.

"Titi beat you up?"

"She tried."

"Well it looks like she did more than try. Are you okay?"

"What time is it?"

"10, we've been here for about an hour. Mama is downstairs making breakfast, she told me to come see if you were awake."

"I am."

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired…you?"

"He's dead, Mami. Am I supposed to forget that he hurt me?"

"No. I won't ever forget; just because that bastard isn't around doesn't mean he didn't hurt you while he was on this Earth. What can I do to help you, Beba?"

"I want to go see Papa since we're in New York."

"Then you should."

"Can I ask Mama to take me?"

"Of course, if that's what you want."

"I need to see him without you, I don't want this to be about you and him."

"I understand, Beba."

"You're not offended?"

"Of course not."

"Okay, maybe I'll go today."

I smiled at my daughter and knew I'd be texting Marco as soon as I was freshened up. There were things that Daniela didn't know about what he'd been through in the last few months. He had been having a hard time since Ari died, but in the last year, he'd been going back and forth to rehab more than I ever had.

He was battling some demons that he wasn't ready to tell anyone about, and if his daughter was going to see him at his place, I needed to make sure he wasn't still getting high.

She didn't need that shit.

I refused for her to be dragged down by another man.

"You're going to call him aren't you?" Daniela asked me as I stepped out of the shower. She handed me a towel, and I nodded.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Did you really wait for me to get out of the shower to interrogate me?"

"I sure did, why can't you let me talk to him on my own?"

"You can, but he needs to know to respect your boundaries."

"He always has, no, you're not saying something."

I hated that my daughter was looking at me with that look I gave people when I smelled their bullshit.

"Daniela, relax."

"No, I won't relax. You and Mama insisted we wouldn't have any more secrets in this family, so please, tell me what I don't know."

"Brush my hair for me?" I asked, handing her a brush.

"Sure."

She waited for me to sit on the edge of the tub and then began to yank the tangles with too much force, snapping my head back. "Ouch!"

"My bad. You okay?"

"Yeah, just go easy."

"Like this?" She said, and I could barely feel it.

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm ready, tell me what's wrong with Papa?"

"Marco has been dealing with old habits."

"Drugs?"

"Yeah, plus he had another surgery on his back. I moved him into a unit on the 2nd floor, because the penthouse was too much for him to keep up with."

"When?"

"I had Walker handle it…I think it was like six months ago. I was in Asia at the time."

"I know."

"Daniela, he's sober right now or has been for the last two months."

"What is it about cocaine that you two love so fucking much?"

"Language." I said, and she sighed.

"Should I try it to see for myself?" She joked, but that shit wasn't funny.

I stood to my feet, so she had to look up at me. She wouldn't be shorter than me for much longer but for that moment, she still was.

"You can do a million things without drugs, trust me. The only thing I ever enjoyed about it was that it made it easier for your father to whore me around to other men. Is that what you want?"

"Mami!" She said, looking shocked.

"You want to talk to me like an adult; let's talk about it then." I lifted my hair, showed her the thin scars on my neck, and then showed her the ones on my lower back. "These came from a man who was so in love with hurting me that he nearly killed me…and then I nearly killed him. He used to rub drugs on my cuts and put it straight inside me. He gave me a drug that made it harder to quit drugs. He's also the first person that gave me heroin."

I showed her the various scars I had from the men who took advantage of my body.

"I'm so sorry." She said, tears in her eyes as she looked at my naked body. "How…I don't understand how you didn't kill yourself."

"I wanted to, trust me, but then I wouldn't have our family. I wouldn't have you. Drugs stole my last year of high school, half my twenties, and nearly all my last years with my mother. I missed so much, and I don't want that for you. I want you to have better, I hate that something terrible happened to you; I hope to God, that I can protect you better than people who protected me."

She looked like she wanted to ask me something but instead, she nodded. "I'm sorry, Mami."

"Don't be, you didn't hurt me, Beba. You saved me."

"I did?"

"I got really serious about stopping because of you and Isaac. I nearly killed him, and I couldn't feed anymore because I drugs in my milk. That was my low point, Mama took you two away from me, and I had to get my shit together. I've slipped from time to time, just like your Papa is doing now."

"How do you survive?"

"One day at a time. Some days are harder."

"Like when you found out about me being raped?"

"Yes, God, I wanted to bury my face in a mountain of coke that day, but it wouldn't have fixed anything for anyone. I would have become one more of your problems, and I couldn't do that to you. I know I'm your hero, and I take that shit seriously."

"You are my hero…and I'm sorry I made a joke like that."

"Don't be, just think twice if you are ever in a position where drugs are in front of you. Once they are in your system, it's so much harder to fight for your own autonomy."

"I don't want to ever feel that powerless again."

"I pray you won't ever feel like that, and as long as I have breath in my body nobody will EVER hurt you again."

"I love you, Mami."

"I love you too, Beba."


I love my wife.

Seeing her smiling face when I finally went downstairs made all the heavy feeling just a little lighter.

I had done the right thing by asking her to come there.

There was no way I would have made it through the day without a hug from her. The longer I was home, the more I realized I had missed being with my wife and kids.

Maybe it started at Table Mountain or the shock of my daughter's trauma, but I knew I needed to be home more than I needed to be anywhere else. When Britt saw me, she picked me up and spun me around, hugging and kissing me just like I needed.

Mari was on the way out with all the kids except Daniela.

"How did you sleep my love?" Britt asked.

"I slept alright, but I missed you holding me, I know we've been apart for a while, but I never stop missing you, B." Britt looked surprised; I guess she was surprised because I had barely been home for the last three years, and I liked it that way. Now though all I wanted more than anything was to enjoy the time that I had left in this life for some reason, even after all the drugs and stupid shit that I've done, it was now that I was taking stock of my life and everything that I still wanted to do. Music would always be there, but my family might not be, and I owed it to them and to myself to be present in as many moments as possible.

Once it was just the three of us sitting in the kitchen eating, Britt put her fork down and looked over at me.

"So, I drove with just the girls. Sugar left."

"Left?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I'd already known that.

"Yes, she said that us being away for a week gave her the time to realize just how much she wanted to have Nikolai all to herself."

I nodded and cut into my omelet without looking up because I knew that one look in my eyes would say more than I wanted to say in front of Daniela.

"I'll miss them being around." Daniela said.

"Ana, Baby, look at me. I can still see your guilty face even when you're looking down."

I looked up into their faces and knew I couldn't lie.

"She told me yesterday that she and Nikolai were going away for a while, that they might go see her mom's family in Tuscany."

"Oh yeah?" Britt said, and then she looked at Daniela, ready to ask her to leave the table, but I knew from our talk upstairs that Daniela wouldn't be boxed out of big conversations any longer.

I sighed and took Daniela's hand. "Beba, I'm pretty sure Nikolai had something to do with his death."

And my daughter smirked. "I know."

I was so thrown by the devious smile on her face. For so long, I had chosen to ignore the other half of her DNA, but it was becoming harder.

"You know? What exactly do you know?" I asked.

Daniela looked at me and shrugged. "He's my boyfriend, Mami, what do you expect?"

"He's your what?" Britt looked stunned, but I wasn't that surprised. "He's like your brother, Dani, that's gross!"

"But he's not my brother. Niko keeps me safe, and I love him."

"You are too young to be dating, Beba."

"I've had sex, I'm not too young." She said.

"Wait! Hold the fuck up, you had sex with Nikolai in our house?!" Britt was on her feet now, looking like she was going to cry.

Daniela looked at Britt and sighed. "I asked him to. I needed to know what if felt like to choose sex with someone I love."

Britt was yelling at me now, "Say something, Santana!"

But what could I say? Daniela's reasoning was the same as mine when I slept with Puck after Marco.

I wanted to choose the person I had sex with and control what happened to my body.

"Beba, I get it; trust me I do." Before that morning, Daniela would have rolled her eyes, but after seeing my scars, I knew she had a newfound respect for my experiences. "Right now, you need to focus on your music, school, and just enjoying being 12. There is plenty of time to have sex, like when you're 16."

"Weren't you two having sex at 15?" She asked Britt, and I had to bite back a laugh when Britt turned bright red.

"Th-that's not the point!" Britt said, and then the tears finally came, and Daniela looked guilty.

"It was one time, and he was so careful with me. He's the only person I want to do that with, so if he's gone then there's nothing to worry about…okay?"

Daniela wrapped Britt in her arms while she cried, and I just sat there, dumbfounded.

What on Earth was going on?

When I got home from South Africa, it seemed my kids were grown, and Britt was falling apart at every change.

We'd talked about being cool about our kids having sex, but that flew right out the window once it actually happened.

Poor B.

Sandra came around soon after the conversation turned to Daniela, wanting Britt to take her to see Marco.

Quinn had arrived at the hospital in midtown, and we could see her.

I hugged Britt really tight once we had a moment alone, and she growled in my ear. "I need to fuck you really hard, really soon. I need to do something with this anger."

I pulled away and smiled up at her. "We can do whatever you want tonight, okay?"

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Good! I have so much energy and haven't heard you moan for me in forever!"

"Oh, Daddy, I'll moan your name for long as you need me to."

"Say less." She kissed my lips and then sent me on my way with thoughts of her fucking me like she used to.

I'd missed her passion and how I could still feel the ache afterward.

We had a lot of catching up to do.


Brittany's POV


"Are you sure you don't want to wait for Mami to get back?"

Dani and I were walking down the Tribeca streets, eating pizza slices as big as our heads, while she tried to convince me that this was the right move. At least she had told Ana about it.

All I wanted was to ensure that Ana was okay; seeing her looking so frail and bruised that morning made me want to wrap myself around her and never let go, but we had shit to do.

She was getting Quinn settled at the hospital where Mari and Saul worked; then, she would check Celia into rehab. They'd found a hippie one that does a lot of painting out in Rhode Island, so they planned to fly.

Ana seemed so sad when she left Dani and me that morning, but I promised her I'd take care of her that night.

I was thinking of taking her back to our old penthouse since it was empty and fucking her like I used to, but that all depended on how she was when she got back.

For now, I needed to focus on Dani because after hearing about her sexcapades with Nikolai, there was nothing I wouldn't do to stop her from maturing so fast.

I had seen what all of the trauma from Marco had done to my wife, and I'd be damned if I let the same kind of thing happen to Dani.

"I know that Papa hurt Mami, she showed me her scars and I'm angry at him over it, but this isn't about what happened to her, and she agrees."

She flinched once the words left her mouth, but I knew what she meant.

"I get it."

"You do?"

"Why do you always sound so surprised when me and Mami understand something you're going through?"

"I don't know, I guess, you two seem so normal...for the most part."

"The most part?"

"Well, after finding out the truth about Mami escorting, I realize you're just as screwed up as I am."

"I get that you don't want this to be about what Marco did to Mami. Right now, you need your dad, and I know what that's like."

"Thanks, Mama." She gave me a side hug, "I'm glad that Poppy is okay."

"Me too. Can you promise me something, Dani?"

"Sure."

"If we go to Marco, I need you to be honest about what you've discussed with your Mami. No more secrets goes both ways."

"Will you back me up if Mami gets upset about what I have to say?"

"I promise." I held out my pinky, and she squeezed it, her smile just as brilliant as always.

I'd missed our relationship more than anything while Ana had been on her tours, and I was crazy happy to have it back.

Dani had always been MY girl.

"You okay, Mama?" I was giving myself a pep talk while we waited for the elevator in Marco's building when Dani interrupted my thoughts.

"The last time I was here, I nearly killed him."

"Right. I forgot about that. Do you want me to just wait for Mami?"

"No. She's got enough to deal with. I'll be fine."

I followed Dani into the elevator and watched her hit a button for the 2nd floor instead.

"He moved into a smaller apartment a few months ago."

The penthouse was the place where I kicked his ass, and he'd whored out my wife.

I was more than happy that he had moved somewhere new. I followed Dani down the hall and watched her fidget as she finally stood outside his door.

My daughter looked at me with sad eyes, and I knew that she was waiting for me to give her an out, believe me, I wanted to let her change her mind, But she wanted to talk to Marco for a reason, and I needed to let her get that out of her system.

The door swung open before she could get up the nerve to knock, and there he sat, looking gaunt but happy to see his daughter. Everything about Marco's new place was normal; there were no ugly pictures or stupid statues, and he looked old and tired, but I could still see that spark of danger in his eyes.

When I first got back from prison, the very sight of me made him cringe, but a few years had passed now, and he seemed to pay me no mind, which I was more than OK with.

"Bendición, Papa. Thanks for letting us stop by."

"Que Dios te bendiga, Preciosa." He held out his hand for me to shake, but I shook my head.

"Pretty sure my lawyer wouldn't want me to touch you even if it's just to shake your hand."

He laughed and shrugged. "Water under the bridge."

Dani glared at me, and I knew immediately why; she didn't want to make this visit about anything from mine and Ana's past.

I sat on the couch and pulled out my phone. Promising myself that I'd just be there for moral support.

"Chess?" Marco asked her, and Dani perked up.

"Yes."

I glanced up as they sat at his chessboard, set up the pieces, and couldn't help but sneak a picture.

"So tell me what this is about? Where's Gia?"

"She's with Titi, but that's not what I want to talk about."

"Tell me then."

"No."

I looked up then, forgetting my phone because I thought we were there to discuss her rape.

"Preciosa, what is it?"

"Am I a rape baby?"

"What?!" Marco sputtered.

"You raped Mami."

"That was a long time ago. I have made amends, done my time, and to this day I honor every demand from Santana, even those I don't like."

"Marco, just answer her question." I said, and Dani shot me a glare. "Dani, I'm here for you for whatever reason, and you asked me to have your back."

"With Mami."

"Trust me kid, you need it around him more than you think."

"Mama, please. Let me handle it." Dani begged.

I glared at Marco but didn't say another word.

"You aren't a product of rape." He finally said, and when Dani rolled her eyes, he took her hand. He brought it to his lips and then squeezed it gently. Ana wasn't worried about him hurting her, and I could see it. The look in his eyes was one I'd seen Dad give to Court and me. It was love.

"Then how was I made?"

"When your mother got pregnant with you we were married, and she consented to sex. Let's start there. She knew how much I wanted to be a father, so we drafted an agreement when we married."

"Of course you did." I muttered, and they both glared at me.

That agreement was part of why I had whooped his ass, but I stayed glued to that couch and pretended to zip my lips until they looked away.

"You were saying, Papa." Dani said, louder than my grumbles.

"Anita always promised that we'd have a baby together, she put it on paper. We were fighting a lot about divorce. I was an asshole about it, because I was jealous that she wanted a life with Brittany instead of me."

Dani smiled then, "So you made a deal?" She knew Marco better than I thought.

"I did. One last sexual encounter for my signature on the divorce papers. Anita gladly accepted, we had sex. She got pregnant, and that's it."

"So you were excited when you found out about me?"

"Absolutely."

"But you stepped aside and let Mama raise me instead?"

"Brittany has always been an amazing mom. Don't you think?" He seemed just as confused as I felt when the conversation turned toward me.

Dani didn't look my way this time; instead, she broke my heart.


"I used to think so, until I started getting molested by some kid at school and then I got raped by my substitute teacher. Mama just thought I was acting out, but she didn't find out the why behind the what. I had to take things into my own hands, to make sure that bastard never hurt me again."

I was biting my palm while trying to hold back a response, and I was not the person who should have been there; Ana was.

No, me AND Ana.

Marco had still been holding Dani's hand while I sat there feeling all the guilt for not asking the right questions, then Marco decided to be an actual nice guy.

"Listen up, Preciosa, what happened to you, Mija, is inexcusable. In another life I would kill the people who hurt you. I know all about what you did, because Nikolai called me."

Dani's eyes burned into Marco's now. "You knew and didn't call me to check on me?"

"Yes I knew; it hurt to find out from him, it also hurt to hear what you two have been up to when no one is watching. You're 12."

"And Mami was 13! This isn't about Nikolai, this is about you as my father trusting someone other than you to be my parent!" She snapped.

So much for this not being about Marco and Ana.

Marco looked like he would stand to his feet if he could but instead, he was getting towered over by Dani while she yelled at him.

But that didn't stop him from being his domineering self, that psychopath in him wasn't gone, and Dani didn't know that.

I could tell from the rage on his face that he was close to snapping. I wanted to butt in, but he took a deep breath and complimented me.

"This pain you carried is on them but it's not on your Mama. I hate that she ended up with the woman I love but she is so much better for your mother, and you than me."

"How can you defend her? She tried to kill Mami while she was pregnant with me. How can you defend a woman who nearly killed me before I was born!"

I wanted to burst into tears. I'd been a horrible little shit, and I hated that my mistakes were being just thrown around like nothing.

Ana forgiving me for what I had done had taught me more about love and trust than I could ever imagine. Her forgiveness is what made me so loyal to her.

Even at my worst moment, she loved me way more than I ever deserved.

"I defend her because she's your mom. She'd fight to the death for you. The list of mistakes that I've made are triple the size of hers. The difference is that I hurt your mom, and I knew I was hurting her, and I kept doing it. I enjoyed making her suffer. That was me. Your Mama had a psychotic break, and has NEVER hurt you, has she?"

"No. She's been good to me."

"Then why are you even mad, answer this, if she had known what was happening, what would she have done?"

"She would have stopped it."

"And what else?"

Dani looked at me with sad eyes and gave a soft smile. "She would have been my best friend, just like always. I would have been loved more than ever."

"Then why are you mad?"

"I don't know, Papa, I'm mad all the time. I'm mad at you, I'm mad at Mama and Mami. I'm pissed off that I have three parents and none of you kept me safe, how is that possible, how Papa? What did I do in a past life to get such fucked up parents?!" She was on her feet yelling now.

I wanted to pick her up and toss her over my shoulder, but I had a gut feeling that I needed to let Marco have his say.

"No!" He said, slamming his hand down on the chess board, scaring her out of her rant. "I won't let you talk to me or your mothers like that. You're hurting and we want to help you. If you need someone to hate, then hate me but you won't treat them like shit. I won't have it. Do you understand?"

"Lo siento." She muttered, too stunned to move. Her face told me that he had never raised his voice at her.

"What do you need from me?" He asked after she finished resetting the game board. She took a deep breath like she was ready to give him a running list of what she needed, but then she shook her head. "What about from your moms?"

"I need to feel like I have a home. I need to feel safe. I need never feel powerless again."

"We want that for you too, Dani." I said, "That's why we're moving to New York, so you can have your village. Everyone you love will be no more than a train ride away."

Marco looked over at me then, "You're moving back?"

"Yeah, we bought a house but it's not ready so, we'll be at the old house in Midtown for the next six months or so."

Marco clapped his hands together and laughed. "That's amazing. I've missed my girls!"

"Mami told me that you've been having trouble lately…you know we can't see you if you're not clean." Dani reminded him.

He nodded. "I know, it's been hard lately but I will get my shit together, I promise you, Mija."

"Okay."

"Now, you owe me a game of chess, but before that, I'm going to use the bathroom while you apologize to your Mama."

"Papa, really?"

"Don't make me repeat myself." He cautioned.

"Marco?" I called after him.

"Hmm?" He said, not bothering to look back.

"I want you to be clean too, our kids need you…okay?"

Bathrooms were places where people like him and Ana got high, and I didn't put it past him to top off his high in there, but I was hoping he'd wait until we left.

He seemed like he needed a hit.

I knew that look that junkies got, and he had it.

"I know." He said, dropping his head for a moment, and then he held his hand out to Daniela. She took it, and he finally looked up at her. "You should go."

"Papa, don't." She begged.

He shook his head. "Please, Nena, go."

Dani started crying and didn't let go of his hand, "Please don't do it." She looked so pitiful.

"Dani, times up kiddo, we need to go."

"But Mama, he's going to use."

"I don't think he will. I think he wants us to be able to come back tomorrow with Gigi, and he knows that if he does this, he'll have to suffer knowing his kids are so close but so far away from him." I knew my tone was loud and clipped.

He flinched and then sighed. Our eyes finally met, and he nodded at me. "Message received."

"Good. We're going to head out, and tomorrow, if you're up for it Gigi would love to see you too."

He smiled and then pulled out his phone. "Would you mind hanging around until my sponsor gets here?"

I felt so thrown by this man who had caused my family pain, asking us to keep him honest.

"Sure, you promised her chess."

He nodded but then called his sponsor.

We sat waiting while he admitted that he needed some accountability and a meeting.

For all I knew, the person coming was a dealer, and the fear in me made me think that leaving would be the better option, but instead, I decided to trust him.

There's no way he'd want a dealer knowing what his daughter looked like.

Right?


How's it going?-Ana

I wish you were here!-Britt

What happened?!-Ana

Too much to type. Where are you?-Britt

At Mari's, Celia tried to finish what she had started. Sandra thought it was better that I not go. I was thinking of coming there.-Ana

Can you?-Britt

I can.-Ana

Okay, come over.-Britt

Should I bring Gia?-Ana

NO!-Britt

You're worrying me.-Ana

Sorry, just get here.-Britt

Say less-Ana


Marco had just wiped the floor with Dani for the second time when there was a knock at the door, but it opened before we responded.

Ana walked in with a bruised lip and looked around like she was ready to fight.

"Anita! Welcome." Marco said with a grin.

"Oh thank God, Mami!" Dani said, getting up from her chair and throwing her arms around Ana. "He's too good at this game."

"I'm better." She said, then she came over to me with her head tilted. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just glad you're here."

She nodded and then took the seat that Dani had vacated.

Her eyes were looking all over the apartment, and then she was looking right at Marco. "So, old man, show me what you've got."

The whole mood of the apartment seemed to shift once Ana insisted that Dani and I pull up a chair to watch her whoop Marco's ass.

I was bored watching the game, but then the sparring began.

"What happened to your face, Anita?"

"My sister tried to kick my ass."

"Which sister, the one you stole from, the one whose wife you slept with, or the other one you stole from."

"Ouch." She muttered. "The one who's GIRLFRIEND I slept with."

"Wow, Mami." Dani said

"No comments from you! I'm Nikolai's legal guardian, so if you slept with him, you technically committed incest. You don't get to comment."

"He is NOT my brother!" Dani said, gagging on her finger.

"It's still weird." I said. Marco and Ana nodded in agreement, making Dani cross her arms over her chest and huff.

"It's not weird." She muttered.

Marco rolled his eyes and went back to annoying my wife to distract her from the game.

"Your daughter here asked me if she was a rape baby?"

"Is that right? When she says slick shit, she's Britt's daughter." Ana looked at Dani and then back at Marco, raising her eyebrow. "And what did you say."

"I told the truth, that we traded sex for my signature."

"No, that's not fully what happened, Moncho. You're getting old." She teased.

"Then what happened?" Dani asked Ana, who had just taken one of Marco's pieces off the board.

"I'd already signed the papers before we had sex. It was fully consensual. I was pissed off because Britt and I were fighting. You offered to help me honor the agreement. Sex is fun, and you were good at it. Plus, both got high, so we were going out with a bang."

Dani and I both scrunched up our faces.

"That's gross." Dani muttered.

"Hey, at least you're not a rape baby." Ana teased.

"So, you wanted to have sex with him?" Dani asked Ana.

"Look, sexuality is fluid…your father can tell you that." She teased.

"What?!" Dani said, looking at Marco. "There's no way that you're gay."

Ana had hinted at it before, but I had never heard him speak of it.

Marco shrugged and took off one of Ana's pieces. "I've dabbled."

"Aww!" Dani said, gagging. "That's so gross. I don't want to imagine any of you having sex. At least Mama is normal."

I looked at Marco and Ana, then dropped my head.

"Yup, Preciosa, your Mama is the most normal of the three of us. I should know." This kid had no idea what I had done to her mother, and the one time I had slept with her father, I knew I was blushing, and so was Ana.

"What? Mama, did you have sex with him too?"

I looked away, and Ana cackled. "She sure did while I was married to him!"

"Wait! What?!"

Dani was staring at all of us with her mouth gaping open, and then Ana put down her piece.

"Checkmate, Asshole." She was grinning, and Marco rolled his eyes.

"How did you do that?!" Dani said, looking so confused. "Who are you people?"

"I think we've traumatized our daughter enough for one day, don't you think?" Ana said to me.

"I don't know; she was pretty mean a little bit ago; maybe you should keep breaking her brain." I said, and Ana's face turned so fast towards Dani that I was sure her head would spin right off.

"You were mean?"

"She was vicious." Marco added as he set up the board again, "I take responsibility for how she acted, it was unbecoming, and I let her know that she can blame me for everything but you and Brittany for nothing."

"You said that?" Ana smiled at Marco.

"Sometimes, I'm a little less of an asshole."

There was another knock on the door, and Marco shouted that the door was unlocked, which was bold of him.

When Ana saw Father Carter, she smiled so wide.

"Padre!" She said and hugged him. "How the heck are you?"

"I'm good. I'm here because Marco called."

Ana smiled, "Padre is your sponsor?"

Marco nodded. "He is."

"So we can head out then; you're in amazing hands."

Marco nodded again, "I know."

"Will I see you at service on Sunday, Santana?" Father Carter asked.

"Yes, we are moving home this week, so you'll see a lot more of me."

"Good, a certain nun could use a familiar face. Sister Gloria has been struggling as of late."

"Is he talking about Goli?" Dani asked me, and I nodded. "Can I go see her too?" Dani asked Ana.

"Of course, once we get settled at the house, we'll have her over."

I was amazed at how my wife could turn a stressful situation into something completely different. Before she came back, I'd been thinking of divorce, but now, I knew I needed to keep fighting for us.

She still loved me, and as sad as I was that things with Sugar were apparently over, the person I had promised to love forever was still my endgame.

Ana was still there, being her best self and my best friend.

I never wanted that to end.

Screw divorce; I wanted forever.


Santana's POV


"I thought the top floor had tenants." I said to B as we rode the elevator up to our old TriBeCa penthouse after leaving Dani with Marco at his insistence.

We were only a few blocks away just in case things went left.

"So, I talked to Walker last night, and she told me that the midtown house needs some renovations too, but our penthouses were both empty."

"Both?"

"Yup, so I was thinking maybe we come here for the summer. Quinn could move back into her old place with her kids; that way, she doesn't have to worry about steps once she's back on her feet."

"And your theater is close by?"

"Well, that's a plus too."

When we stepped off the elevator, I was filled with many memories, good and bad.

The penthouse had hosted many of our kids' firsts and the happiest times in my marriage.

"So why are we here now?"

Britt opened the door to our old place, and I hardly recognized it. The walls were white, and there seemed to be a second loft now.

"Oh wow! That's awesome. Did she put in a skylight?" Britt said, sounding like a kid in a candy store.

"This is amazing." I was walking through checking out the new place when Britt lifted me and spun me around.

I wrapped my legs around her waist and kissed her like we were in a movie, ignoring the sting in my lip.

"I want you, right now." She said, with that wicked look in her eyes.

"Have me then, B."

"Say less."

She laid me down on the area rug, then began kissing my neck while running her fingers up and down my side.

"I wish you were packing today, B…I need it hard." I admitted, and she pulled back and looked at me with a silly smirk.

"You've never asked for it like that."

"Our daughter taught me to be upfront with what I'm feeling. I think I forgot to do it, so in that spirit, I need you to give me everything you've got when you have time to get what you need."

"You're serious?"

"For too long, you've been gentle with me or slightly rough, but I want it all, Britt. Everything…, please?"

"Now I wish I was packing."

"Dance for me, B…it's been a while since I've had a private performance." I climbed onto the couch and spread my legs.

"You've changed, Ana banana…I like it."

"Show me how much."

I sat back and watched as she slowly stripped for me, shaking her ass and bending over for me.

She helped me forget all the drama and stress for a little while. I appreciated it more than I could express.

I think we both knew that the world liked to fall apart at random, and we needed to hold onto this time while we had it.

Lord knows that the shoes were always from falling.


"Yes!" I groaned as she pressed those fucking fingers into me for the first time in months.

"What else do you need?" She asked as she pressed me back against the wall.

I brought her hand to my hair, "Be rough, please?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Please, B…I need to feel something other than what I'm feeling." I finally admitted.

I grabbed her wrist before she could pull her fingers from me. "Ana, do you need a meeting?"

"I will, for now, be my meeting and fuck me like you used to do…remember when you wanted me to give you what Frankie couldn't?"

And there it was, the spark.

"You really want that?"

"So fucking bad."

She lifted my thigh and then pressed more fingers into me.

"Sing for me, Ana." She pressed another fourth finger into me, and I groaned. It'd been so long.

"Yesss!" I squealed. "More! Please, give it all to me!"

"You want it, turn around and bend over the bed."

I didn't hesitate as I ran into our old room and bent over the bed.

She kicked my legs apart, pushed up my dress, and pressed her fist into me.

I gripped the sheets as her body bent over mine.

"Yes, B…yes!"

"Say it." She growled.

"Daddy!" I squealed as I came, my entire body shaking as I gave into the euphoria. When I slumped further onto the bed, Britt laughed before slapping my ass.

The next few minutes were filled with nothing but the sound of her fucking me and our grunting.

My mind was mush as she fucked me as roughly as she could without using extra stuff. I knew I'd have trouble walking after, but that's what I needed.

I couldn't give in to the cravings or the need to search for drugs.

All I needed right then was to be fucked harder than I ever had, and Britt seemed to understand that. Her hand slid from me, and she slapped my ass.

When I moaned, she froze for a second.

"How bad is it, Ana?"

"Elmo bad." I admitted, and she rubbed my sore ass cheek that she'd periodically slapped.

"Color?"

"Green, please, B."

She began to slap my ass until I was sobbing into the sheets.

"Shhh, are you okay?"

I nodded and reached back for her hand; once I had it, I yanked until she fell next to me.

Her eyes were wide with worry.

"Thank you." I was smiling, and she looked so fucking confused.

"I didn't think you were into that anymore."

"Me either; I'm a mom now…but I needed it because it's always cleared my mind and made me feel better. I'm screwed up; we both know that, but I consented. I want to feel you, so the next time I'm alone, I can remember why coming to you is better than finding a dealer."

"Is it the city?"

"No, Britt, I'm in recovery, but I'm still a drug addict; this disease doesn't go away. Look at Marco."

Britt sat up and searched for her phone. "Speaking of, we should check on Daniela.

"Thanks, B."

"Don't thank me yet; that was just a preview of what I have planned for you."

I shuddered and enjoyed the sting that I felt still.

Things were still murky around us, but we were good.

Our kids would be okay; we just had to keep communicating what we needed.

I was a slut, that's what I was created to be, and I thought that was a bad thing for so long, but when it was with my wife, I embraced it.

She didn't seem so stiff after I let her top me; now, she was all smiles and intensity.

It was so fucking hot.

Maybe this penthouse was more than just our first real home together, just us and our kids; it was also where we learned to love as adults.

Nico, Carmen, and Sugar had tainted it, but it was also where I saw Ari the most, and so many people I had lost had come through.

The penthouse was our real home, and I was happy to be there, to reclaim my marriage and my motherhood.

"We're going to be okay, Britt."

"Yeah, I think we will be."

"I missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you too…way too much, stick around for awhile this time, please?"

"Say less, B...I'm not going anywhere. I just want to be with you and our family."