Disclaimer:
Carol Peletier, Sophia Peletier, King Ezekiel, Henry, Jerry, Shiva, and any other recognizable character or plot of The Walking Dead belong to AMC Network and Skybound Entertainment, Image Comics and Robert Kirkman.
In no way is the author claiming ownage of any of the characters nor is there any economic/monetary gain at any time. The author is extremely respectful of the original creators and is willing to take down this work of fiction if requested.
No copyright infringement intended.
Original characters are the property of the author.
Keeper of My Heart: Panic at the Zoo
It takes them three days to come back. Ed worked from the apartment for two days because the offices were being fumigated, which in turn tied Carol and Sophia to staying locked up, trying to not set off Ed's rampage.
That's why as soon as Ed is out the door, Carol rushes to her daughter's bedside and thinks of dozens of ways she could break the news to her little one.
With the most tender caress of her finger against the bridge of Sophia's nose, Carol has to suppress a soft giggle as her daughter scrunches her face in sleep. She continues gently tracing her nose until Sophia is squirming, a soft smile on her lips. They've done this before, every time Ed has been out of the picture. She's sure by now her daughter knows that when she wakes up this way it means they will have some type of adventure.
She cannot wait to tell her they are going to visit Shiva and Ezekiel.
Knowing by now her daughter is pretending to be asleep, Carol starts to tickle her sides earning full belly giggles from her daughter.
"No! Mama!" Sophia drops her act right away, squirming and twisting to get away from the tickling. "It tickles!"
"The tickle monster has you," Carol grumbles playfully before catching Sophia again and tickling her once more.
With the tickling over and Sophia snuggling against her mother's chest as Carol sits on her bed, they take a moment to fully wake up.
"Guess what we are doing today, sweet pea."
Sophia turns up to look at her with a huge smile on her face, her eyes as wide as Carol has ever seen them. "Tiggy?" Sophia asks in reply.
"Well, yes we are going back to the zoo if you'd like to go." Sophia eagerly nods at her offer. "I'm not sure if we'll be able to see Shiva, but we can ask for Ezekiel."
"Yes, please," Sophia begs sweetly.
"All right, but first we have to fill that belly with warm food." She says as she poked her daughter's middle. "What do you say?"
"Food!" Sophia exclaims before climbing off her lap and rushing out of the room.
"I guess I'll take that as a yes."
Their breakfast consists of a sunny side up egg, a piece of toast, a tall glass of milk for Sophia, and a glass of water for Carol. She wants her daughter to grow strong so she always gives her the share of milk that Ed has decreed Carol can drink a day.
Once they've had breakfast, Carol makes sure that Sophia looks her absolute best with a blue shirt with a rainbow on the chest and blue pants to match. Sophia's strawberry blond hair gets pulled back with a headband, leaving her face free as she names the colors on the rainbow graphic. Carol puts on her daughter a tiny pair of well-worn sneakers which Sophia insists on tying herself.
"Bunny ear." Sophia declares as she makes the first loop. "Bunny ear." She tries the second but loses hold of the first loop. "Oh no!"
"Try again, you can do it sweet pea." Carol urges.
"Bunny ear," Sophia repeats as she does the loop again then presses the tip of her tongue to her top lip. She tries to say 'Bunny ear' again but it comes out all jumbled. "Twist and... nose!" She finishes, making a knot which to her looks like the bunny's nose. "Mama! I did it!"
"Good job, Sophia!" Carol praises her daughter's work. "Want to try the other one?"
After repeating the same process to tie her other shoe, Sophia goes to watch cartoons while Carol gets ready.
What should she wear?
Everything she has looks too plain and big, chosen by Ed to hide her body.
She wants to look good, not because she is going to see Ezekiel -though the thought of seeing the man who has been so giving to her daughter and her makes butterflies fly in her stomach- but because she wants to feel as confident as she can when she requests to see Ezekiel. She pulls up various items, presses them against her body, but ultimately discards them.
With a sigh, Carol settles on a brown blouse and dark blue capris. She puts on a pair of sandals and looks at herself in the mirror. She doesn't feel gorgeous when her tired expression stares back at her but since she has no one to impress she shrugs it off and reaches for her black bag.
"Come on Sophia." She calls out to her daughter as she moves to the door. She hears the click of the tv turning off then the pitter-patter of Sophia's feet which first run away then towards her. She sees why as soon as her daughter runs to her side.
"Are you sure you want to take your dolly with you?" Carol asks her.
Sophia looks up at her mom and nods, cuddling her doll close. "Show Shiva!" She declares.
"But what if you lose it?"
Sophia bites her lip as she thinks and Carol can't help but smile as she sees the thoughts parade across her daughter's face.
Sophia shakes her head and holds the dolly tightly. "All right, you can bring her along."
Sophia holds tightly to her doll all the way from the apartment to the bus stop, thru the bus ride and the short walk from the stop to the zoo.
At first, Carol tries to distract Sophia with other animals. She takes her to see the giraffes and the elephants, they spend some time with the monkeys and the birds, but eventually Sophia asks for the umpteenth time about Shiva and Carol knows that she has to face her own fear in order to give her daughter what she wants.
"All right. We'll go ask for Mr. Ezekiel." She assures her as Sophia reaches for her hand.
They walk towards the nearest customer service kiosk where a young girl with a high ponytail and hair that runs for miles down her back, greets her. "Are you lost, ma'am?"
"No, I'm actually looking for one of the caretakers." Carol starts, her voice so soft she barely hears herself. Besides her, Sophia let's go of her hand to try and reach the edge of the low counter. She barely grasps it, her little fingers turning white.
"Oh, who is it that you wish to speak to?"
"He said his name was Ezekiel."
"Ezekiel?" The girl asks with a look of confusion.
"Yes?" Carol answers unsure. She was pretty sure of the name but not so sure as to why the girl didn't seem to know him. "Tall, dark skin, hair in dreads, speaks funny."
"Oh! You mean Zeke!" The girl perks up right away, already reaching for the walkie talkie. "Let me get him for you."
"Thank you."
"King Zeke, come in." The girls says then waits for confirmation from the other side. Carol has no idea why she calls him King Zeke but decides to remain quiet.
"Yes, Lady Lilian?"
"I have a woman here wishing to talk to you. Her name is..."
"Carol." Carol tells her as soon as Lilian turns to look at her.
"Lady Carol," Lilian informs him with a smirk.
"I shall make my way to your tower, Lady Lilian."
Lilian turns towards Carol and smiles. "Zeke will be here soon."
Carol smiles at her, her belly filling with tiny flutters which she quickly suppresses. "Did you hear that Soph?" She asks, turning to look down at where she had last seen her daughter.
Instead of her red-haired angel looking up at her, she finds emptiness.
"Sophia?" She calls out, turning sharply to look around her. "Sophia!?"
A quick look around reveals nothing but other families looking at her in confusion. "Sophia?" She calls out once more, her voice is louder and sharper. "Soph?! Baby where are you?"
Mothers around her instantly hold tighter to their children, looking at her with pity and some with accusation which runs deep into her core. "Has anyone seen a little girl? She's wearing a blue shirt with a rainbow? She has a headband and a doll? Anyone?"
People shake their head around her. Vaguely she hears Lilian warning everyone that a little girl has been lost and that she answers to the name of Sophia.
Carol goes fully into panic mode. Everything around her becomes a blur as she searches for her daughter. Faces swim in and out of focus, words become a jumbled mess that she cannot comprehend. "Sophia?!" She cries again as tears run down her face. "Sophia baby! Come to mommy!"
"Sophia!"
Where is her baby?
She jumps sharply when she feels a hand close around her shoulder. She pushes back instinctively, covering her face, forgetting where she is momentarily.
"Carol? Carol?"
Instead of seeing Ed's face screaming at her for a daughter he doesn't love or want, she finds Ezekiel's kind expression and worried eyes.
"Ezekiel." She whispers before pushing herself into his arms instinctively. "I can't find Sophia. She was standing beside me... she has her dolly, she wanted to show it to Shiva. I was holding her hand but she let go because she wanted to see... I never let her go and now she's gone. I can't find her." She mumbles against his chest and hair.
Ezekiel holds tightly to her. "We are gonna locate her. Fear not."
"Where is she?" She mumbles against his chest, her hand holding tightly to his shirt, her knees buckling under her.
The next hour is the hardest in her life. Everyone around her reassures her they will find Sophia but no one does. The zoo has been contained so no one will leave and the walkie is in constant use. She eventually loses all energy and Ezekiel holds her tighter, kissing the top of her head and promising they will continue looking for her.
What will she do without her little daughter? Without Sophia?
Sophia, who is the light of her life.
Sophia, who is so pure in her ways.
Sophia, who despite her father, still loves and cherishes those that love her.
Sophia, who brought her dolly to show to little Shiva in the hopes that it would help the cub feel better and grow stronger.
"We got her!" Carol hears a voice come through the walkie secured on Ezekiel's hip. She can hear the faint crying of her daughter and she reacts instinctively reaching for it.
"Sophia! Sophia, where are you?"
She lets go of the transmission button only to hear the confusion she has caused by taking the walkie. She hands the walkie to Ezekiel who in turn takes her hand and starts guiding her to where she assumes her daughter is at.
When she finally sees Sophia she feels a relief she has never felt before. It slams into her chest and takes away her breath. It blurs her vision with tears and makes her whole body tremble.
Sophia is looking down at the floor as a woman, dressed very much like Ezekiel, crouches in front of her. Her hair covers her face. Her little arms are wrapped around her waist. Her tiny foot digging a hole as she stands beside the door Ezekiel had guided them through three days ago.
"Sophia!" She finally calls out and her little daughter's tear-stained face turns to look at her.
Sophia's face breaks into a smile. She moves away from the women and rushes towards her mother. "MAMA!"
Carol falls to her knees, letting go of Ezekiel's hand, her arms open to receive her precious baby who plummets against her. Sophia practically melts into her embrace as they hold tightly to each other. "Sophia," Carol whispers over and over, alternating between holding her daughter close and making sure she is unharmed.
"Sorry Mama," Sophia whispers against her neck. "Sorry."
"It seems she wanted to see the hurt cub and decided to go search for her. She found her way here but couldn't open the door so she started to make her way back but got lost." The woman that had been knelt in front of Sophia explained. "She came back here, where we found her."
Carol looks at Sophia and shakes her head lovingly. "Sophia you can't do that. You have to stay by my side."
"But...". Sophia stuttered, a wave of fresh tears coming down her face. "Daddy's not here."
Carol shakes her head once more, her cheeks reddening. "Doesn't matter." She whispers to her. "I thought I would never see you again. I thought someone had taken you."
"Wanted tiggy."
"I know, but you scared mama," Carol explains. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to you, sweet pea."
Sophia's small hands go to her mother's cheeks, brushing away Carol's tears. "Sorry, Mama." She whispers. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Carol embraces her again, burying her face in Sophia's strawberry blond hair, taking in a deep breath and inhaling her daughter's sweet scent. "It's ok baby, it's ok." She whispers.
When they have both calmed down and assured each other that they are both fine, Ezekiel guides them into the building that houses tiny Shiva while she recuperates. Though she can see her daughter is dying to rush towards Shiva, who is anxiously pacing back and forth, Sophia waits, walking by her side. Carol squeezes her hand. Only when they stand in front of the window does Carol let her go. Sophia rushes towards the cub who stands on two paws. She can see that Shiva is looking her over, taking in everything. It's almost as if she's making sure that Sophia is all right. It's impossible though, Carol tells herself. How could Shiva have known?
"Oh no!" Sophia suddenly exclaims, her shoulders slumping.
"What is it sweet pea!" Carol says.
"Are you all right, Princess Sophia?" Ezekiel choruses.
"I lost her." Sophia whimpers, her chin quivering once more, tears gathering in her hazel eyes. "Lost dolly."
"Oh sweetheart," Carol whispers as she moves to her. "It's all right."
"We can get you another dolly," Ezekiel promises.
Carol isn't so sure that she can follow thru with that promise. Sophia has grown up always with the essentials, the bare minimum. It had taken a lot of convincing for Ed to give her the money to get her that rag doll. She knows that the moment Ed finds out that the doll had been lost all hell will break loose.
Sophia, knowing well that she won't be getting another dolly, shakes her head. She raises her arms to be picked up and Carol quickly does so.
"I'm sorry," Sophia repeats and Carol finds herself rocking from side to side to calm her.
"Would you like to play with Shiva instead?" Ezekiel offers.
A quick glance at Shiva tells Carol that the tiger cub has calmed down. Shiva is still attentive to what is happening on the other side of the glass but she is now laying on her belly, her front paws stretched in front of her, her ears twitching.
She looks at Sophia who is, in turn, looking at Ezekiel as she nods in response to his question. She soon starts wiggling in her mother arms to be out down so Carol lowers her to the ground.
They are both patient as Ezekiel opens the door. They follow him inside but stay back as he puts himself between them and the cub. Sophia doesn't move until he beckons her towards them. Carol watches carefully as Sophia does as instructed by Ezekiel. Eventually, she's sitting in front of Shiva, petting her fur as if she was just a regular house cat.
With her daughter sitting nearby and little Shiva laying comfortably in front of her, Carol presses herself to the wall and feels herself slowly slide to the floor.
"Easy," Ezekiel whispers as he guides her down.
"I'm all right." She promises but closes her eyes for a second, taking in a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
"Do not be," Ezekiel begs her before taking his place beside her on the floor, their shoulders pressing. "She is your daughter, her well being is your utmost priority. I cannot fathom what you must have felt to find her missing."
Carol's shoulders start shaking but she quickly forces herself to stop, not wanting to worry her daughter who by now is gently scratching Shiva's torso, the tiger cub chuffing as she turns and offers Sophia her belly to scratch.
"She's my everything." She admits as she naturally leans her head against Ezekiel's shoulder. "I was so scared. If anything had happened to her I don't think I'd be able to..."
"Nothing shall happen to her, not under my watch, milady," Ezekiel promises, his hand moving to search for hers.
Carol doesn't know why but his touch calms her tremendously. She can't help but look at their hands; the contrast in color, the way their fingers intertwine perfectly, the way her hand simply seems to fit in his. Holding Ed's hand had never felt like this and it confuses her tremendously. How can a man she barely knows make her feel protected and secure? How can he make her feel butterflies in her stomach when he smiles at her? Or at peace when he talks to her in that weird way he talks?
Catching a glimpse of her wedding ring, she quickly pulls her hand away and folds it on her lap.
Shame washes over her without her truly understanding why. She had leaned against him as she cried for Sophia, she had allowed him to hold her hand, she had leaned her head against his shoulder.
Ezekiel is bringing out something in her she doesn't recognize, doesn't understand and is deeply afraid of.
Perhaps Ed has been right all along; perhaps she was truly is a harlot.
"I do not wish to make you uncomfortable." Ezekiel's voice interrupts her train of thought. "I am ecstatic that you and Sophia have honored us with your presence, but if I have done anything to make you uncomfortable I wish to take it back."
"You haven't," Carol promises him, turning her body towards him. "I... don't know how to explain this; you are everything Sophia and I are not used to."
"That is a shame," Ezekiel tells her looking straight into her eyes. "You two should know nothing but happiness."
"Thank you." She whispers to him, her voice breaking as she does. "Sophia was so happy to come back and play with Shiva. It was all she could talk about on the way over. She even brought her dolly so she could show it to her."
"I'll have someone combing through the zoo. If her dolly is still here we will find it."
Carol gives a little nod of gratitude and turns to look once more at her daughter. "I can't help but see how happy she is here and I want her to be this happy all the time. If only..." She trails off, not daring to complete her thoughts.
"Whatever it is that ails you, whoever it is that hurts you," Ezekiel whispers, once more reaching for her hand and giving it a little squeeze. "Whatever it is, please try and forget it. It doesn't exist here, it never shall. Here, you and Sophia are welcome and cherished, especially by Shiva and I. We want nothing else but to see smiles upon your lips and hear laughter from your heart."
"But why?" Carol can't help but ask. She wishes it could be as easy to forget about Ed as he makes it sound, but he is ingrained in her very bones, bones he has broken dozens of times. He is the voice in her head telling her she does everything wrong. He is the one that pummels all her insecurities to the foreground of her mind. "Why do you like us? Why do you allow Sophia and me back here?"
"Because..." he replies. "Because you are perfect and your love for Sophia is so strong and pure. Sophia is an angel. I couldn't stand her tears, I wanted to wash them away and replace them with smiles. I wanted you to feel like you didn't have to distance yourself from others like you did when I first saw you."
"You don't know me." Carol reminds him, trying to understand what it was that he saw in them. "Not really, nor do you know Sophia."
"And yet the moment I saw you, I felt like I had known you all my life," Ezekiel admits to her.
Carol stares at him, unsure of what he means, of what he wants from her. Unsure of what she feels for him.
"I know it is not my place to feel this way," Ezekiel tells her, his hand squeezing hers gently before bringing it up to her lips. "And you are right; as much as I feel that I know you, I don't have that honor, but what I do know I have liked and I wish to get to know you and Sophia more. If it is in your heart to allow me to do so I will embrace the opportunity wholeheartedly."
"I am married."
"I want nothing more than whatever you want to give me." He promises. "If that means only seeing you two when Shiva gets visits, then I am glad and grateful to spend that time with you."
Carol doesn't know how they ended there; how their conversation turned into something she can't comprehend but deeply feels. It is new and exciting and scary and intimidating at the same time. And if Ed ever finds out about it he will certainly punish her.
Ezekiel is offering to stand by her side without knowing what she brings with her, without wanting anything but her friendship if that's all she is willing to give. She might not understand what she is feeling but she knows that Ezekiel's friendship is pure and something she needs now more than ever.
A quick look at Sophia, who is now laying besides Shiva looking at the clouds painted in the ceiling and telling the cub whose head rests on her belly, all the shapes she sees, Carol can't help but feel the wave of peace wash over her once more.
Losing Sophia for that hour had been the worst moment of her life, but it unchained something that had been locked within her, begging to get out and which had finally found a home in Ezekiel's embrace. There was no denying it.
If only she wasn't married; then she would allow herself to be curious about what she felt and about what the future could bring. Perhaps then the affection she felt for Ezekiel, despite just meeting him, could be further explored, perhaps it would turn into something beautiful that she could cherish. If she wasn't married to Ed perhaps she could explore this new opportunity that had been laid down in front of her.
But she is married to Ed and there is nothing else she can do but be his friend and push back all other feelings and possibilities.
"Friends?" He says, repositioning his hand so that they can shake on it.
"Friends." Carol agrees.
By the time they have to leave, Sophia is exhausted and doesn't protest much when Carol picks her up. She has spent all afternoon playing with a tiger cub and now her eyes close unwillingly. They go through the whole process of leaving Shiva's space and as Carol is preparing to leave the building Ezekiel stops her.
He begs for her to wait right where she is, then disappears. When he comes back he is holding a plush tiger, the kind whose fur is soft and vibrant. "We have this as gifts for the children who answer all questions correctly at the end of the exhibition. It's not a dolly but hopefully it will extend Sophia's happiness beyond the walls of the zoo."
Sophia eagerly accepts the toy then cuddles it close to her. Carol knows there is no giving it back and that she will have to find a credible excuse to explain to Ed the appearance of the toy.
If it ends in a beating she will gladly power through it if it means that Sophia retains the happiness in her smile.
"What do we say, sweet pea?"
"Thank you," Sophia whispers before nuzzling the tiger with her nose.
"You are welcome, Princess Sophia."
Sophia smiles brightly at him and at that moment Carol knows this is the start of an adventure with no clear ending, an adventure she wants so much to be a part of.
On their way to the bus stop, Sophia tells her she cannot wait to come back to the zoo.
Although Carol only admits it to herself, she finds herself nodding along to Sophia's words and agreeing with her wholeheartedly.
She cannot wait to come back.
