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- S


- Chapter 58 -


The treetops swayed above them, back and forth, back and forth. She looked up at them briefly before turning back to the she-elf that stood before her. A flash of disappointment flooded the beautiful maiden's eyes, but understanding also showed in her slight smile. Shyloh took a step back from the basin, and turned away.

"Do you feel you are making the right choice?"

Shyloh hesitated at the Lady's question, and her feet planted themselves firmly to the ground. With a nod, she forced herself to turn back around to look at her.

"I am sure," she said confidently.

Galadriel's smile grew, and she put the pitcher down on the lip by the small waterfall. "Understand, you will not get this chance again."

Nodding once, Shyloh knew deep down she made the right choice. "I don't want to know."

"Many would say otherwise."

"I am not them, just myself."

"Indeed." Galadriel stepped toward her and they followed the path that led out of the garden together.

Shyloh glanced at the Lady next to her. "Is something wrong?"

Galadriel's eyes met hers. "You are the first that has not accepted my offer to look into the mirror."

"Are you surprised?"

A soft shake of her head, and Galadriel smiled once more. "No."

"Then why did you offer?"

Mischievously, Galadriel's eyes twinkled. "I hoped you might change your mind."

"I don't want to know," stated Shyloh. "Whether it be life, death, loss or something else, I don't want to know. I don't want to have to think back on what I saw every day and know I might lose someone I love."

"You are so certain you are going to lose someone?" Galadriel arched an eyebrow curiously.

"Yes."

"And what makes you so certain, dear child?"

"A feeling. Whether it be from war or illness or old age, someone will die. My brother always used to say 'no one makes it out of this world alive,' and for mortals in this world that's basically the law. They're born, they live, they die. It's not so different from how I once lived."

"Mortals are not the only living beings in this world that can die."

Nodding, Shyloh sighed. "I know." Elves were not invincible.

One day, someday, hopefully not for a very long time, Thorin Oakenshield and the rest of the company would pass on, whether by illness, age, war, or something, and she would be parted from them forever. She knew very well she could die, and she almost snorted out loud. She knew that better than...well...anyone, perhaps.

Estel was mortal, and though she prayed that his day wouldn't come for a very long time, he was going to leave her, too. Hell, even Boss wouldn't live forever, but she immediately pushed that thought out of her mind before she broke at the mere thought.

She did not look in Galadriel's mirror.

They walked in silence until they left the garden behind them, and without looking back, Shyloh squared her shoulders and prayed like hell.


Three years later... 2944

Stifling a yawn, she ran a hand over the side of her face, brushing the stray stands of white hair out of her eyes as the wind shifted, coming at them from behind now. Beneath her, Boss shifted on his hind legs, readjusting his weight to make himself more comfortable. Absentmindedly, she stroked the side of his neck and he settled down quickly, although his ears flicked backward to catch the soft murmur of reassurance that escaped her lips.

Above them in the trees, she felt the movement of elves though she didn't look up to see them. She knew they were there. A soft sigh escaped the elf that sat next to her on his own horse, and she spared him a quick glance. He caught her looking and gave her a lopsided grin.

"Anxious?" he asked, and she turned away with a small shake of her head. He hummed. "I do not like sitting idly either."

His words annoyed her but she said nothing as they sat and waited. He watched her for another moment before turning away and she quietly let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

Twenty minutes had come and gone while they waited for the all clear that would undoubtedly be coming soon, or at least, she hoped. The cries of battle only stopped a short while ago.

"Patience is a virtue," she muttered, and he turned back to her.

"Perhaps," he replied, then his head twisted upwards and his eyes scanned the canopy of trees above them.

Behind Boss, another horse snorted and she gripped her bow just a little tighter. Everyone was anxious. If the orcs penetrated the outer defenses it would be up to them to ensure they didn't make it any further into the forest. She had all the faith in the world in Haldir and his warriors, but just in case...

Realizing she was gripping her bow to the point her knuckles were white, she flexed her fingers and drew in a quiet breath, exhaling it through her nose. Two years had come and gone between the time she was assigned to Haldir's guard and the present moment, and three since he left. But she didn't think about that. After all, what was a few years to an elf?

Being part of Haldir's guard was an honor but when the position was offered to her she was completely surprised. Perhaps it had something to do with disarming Haldir for two months straight, or perhaps she'd just been the lucky one chosen, she didn't know. Either way, when they learned of orc movement on the northwestern borders, they mustered their forces to demolish the enemy's advances.

Herself, and the others on horseback included, came straight from the city itself, not upset in the least that their time off of border patrol was interrupted. This was their job; it's what they did.

Lothlorien became a home shortly after he left, and although it was true that three years was nothing to an elf, it was everything to her. It felt like a lifetime.

She shook her head; right now was not the time to dive into her memories, it was the time to focus. Rustling in the trees told her someone was right above her, but when she looked up she saw nothing. Their ability to camouflage themselves in the treetops was always something she admired. To an untrained eye the warriors would appear invisible, and when the slightest flick of silver hair caught the sun she almost thought she imagined it.

Boss shifted just the slightest as if he felt her attention wandering; drawing her gaze back to the forest in front of them. His development over the last two years was incredibly shocking – mostly to her – but it earned him the position of her formal 'mount,' or sidekick as she called him. Leaning forward slightly, she entwined her fingers in his silvery mane. The gesture was meant to comfort him, but in truth it was Shyloh that needed the comfort. The familiarity of his mane between her fingers helped ground her and ease her worry. Perhaps it sounded silly, and she was sure if she admitted that secret to any of the warriors around her she would be laughed at. Or considered crazy.

The elf next to her watched her fingers as they twisted through the locks, and when she realized he was watching she stilled her fingers and withdrew her hand. He said nothing though, and once again turned back to the forest before them.

Arwen warned her this might happen. Even though she'd lived in Lothlorien for two years, her popularity only grew, much to her annoyance. Being on Haldir's guard only added fuel to the fire. She was always watched no matter where she went, and though she learned to cope with it thanks to Arwen, she did her best to ignore it and focus on what was important: her training and development.

On top of training, she learned from both Galadriel and Arwen, and even was asked to sit in on council meetings occasionally. Of course, she was a silent participant when she had to sit through the exponentially long meetings, but she did so without complaint, doing her best to listen and learn. They were ridiculously boring though, and often times she found her mind wandering.

Like now, for instance.

Blinking, she placed her bow across her lap and forced herself to look ahead. A horn blasted through the forest, echoing off the smooth bark of the trees. She jumped in place, causing Boss to snap his head up. Her spine stiffened at first until she realized it was the horn of victory, and she let her shoulders slouch just the slightest.

The threat was defeated and their forest was safe.

The elf next to her turned and grinned. "That was not so bad."

Her mouth twitched at the corner but she said nothing as Boss took his first step forward. They might have won, but now it was time to assess the damage.

They picked up the pace and rode the mile long distance between their position and the battle area. Already she could smell death, and she mentally prepared herself for the sight she knew she would see. Sure enough, when they reined their horses in, the two dozen riders looked over the forest floor carefully while her attention was drawn to the silver haired elf that stood in the middle of the carnage.

He drew his sword from the chest of a fallen orc, whose minimal movements ceased and the body went still, never to move again.

Haldir met her gaze with a frown and nodded curtly, recognizing that she was there. He turned away quickly though, to speak with another silver haired elf, whose eyes flicked to her momentarily. She turned away and followed her company by dismounting. Boss planted his hooves in the dirt, and with a soft tap of her fingers on the reins he understood the command to stay put. She knew without a doubt he would do so, too.

"Any injuries, Haldir?" asked the elf that had ridden beside her as they stepped over fallen bodies of orcs.

"Nay," came the marchwarden's reply. "Thankfully." His eyes found hers once more but then they trailed over her person; a habit she realized he did after they encountered danger such as this. Even though she herself hadn't fought in this particular border battle, he still was checking for injury like she was a porcelain doll. It annoyed her to say the least, because he wasn't the only one to do it either.

She could handle herself in battle well enough now, and she certainly wasn't the only she-elf on Haldir's guard. In fact, at least a dozen or more other ellith - who were wickedly talented with both bow and blade – stood amongst them in the forest. Shyloh always marveled and appreciated how equally they were treated, respected, and valued; something that was sadly not always done so in other armies.

Just another reason she loved elves.

"How many orcs?" an elf in her company asked as his eyes scanned the forest floor.

"At least thirty" Haldir said grimly.

"A larger troop then," someone muttered though she didn't catch who, for her attention was drawn elsewhere.

Rumil strolled over to them, his face pinched as if he carried bad news, and he did.

"Another troop was slaughtered to the West," he announced. "We just received word from a messenger. At least twenty or so orcs."

"Do they need aid?" Haldir asked, his eyes narrowing, and he automatically gripped the long bow in his hand tighter.

Rumil shook his head, thankfully. "Nay, the enemy has been dealt with. They suffered only a minor injury among their company and she will be just fine."

Nodding, Haldir seemed satisfied by his response. "Good, we will get to work cleaning this up then. Their filth has stained our forest floor long enough."

So that was what they did. For the next few hours, they gathered the enemies bodies and weapons and burned them on the outskirts of the forest. Never would they light their enemy up within the borders of their homeland.

By the next morning, Shyloh was exhausted and as dawn began lighting up the forest, she stretched her legs out in front of her as she sat back on the telan. The morning was cold and she pulled her cloak around her shoulders to help keep out the winter chill that bit through the air, drawing her breath out in a silvery smoke in front of her. Mild winters were typical for Lothlorien, but the closer to the edges they got, the colder it seemed to be, as if the magic of the elves only extended so far.

There was no frost on the ground, but despite the light footfalls of the elves, old leaves still crunched beneath their feet.

"I brought you some tea," said a voice, and she looked up just as Haldir was crouching down. Apparently she was once again lost in her own thoughts because she blinked in surprise, and a soft grin played on the edges of his mouth.

He handed her a mug that was steaming and she wrapped her fingers around it eagerly.

"How did you know this was exactly what I was craving?" she asked.

He shrugged and sank down onto the floor of the telan next to her, drawing his own cloak around him more. Elves weren't overly affected by the cold, but that didn't mean they couldn't feel it.

"I find you are oftentimes easy to read, mellon nin," he said quietly, and his eyes trailed out over the canopy before them.

She smirked and held the cup up to her nose, drawing in a deep breath, allowing the warmth of the steam to warm her nose up.

"Some might say if you have time to read me you are not busy enough," she said, and he chuckled once.

"Perhaps I am not," he mumbled. "Although I pride myself in knowing my friends moods."

"Do you?" she asked, and he nodded once. "Enlighten me: what mood am I currently in?"

He gave her a knowing look. "The kind where you are missing him."

The smirk slipped from her face, and Shyloh didn't have to ask who it was he was referring to, she already knew. "Is it that obvious?"

"You get that far off look in your eye that says you do. It has been three years since you've seen him, why would you not miss him?" Was that bitterness in his tone? She decided that yes, it was, because it was the same tone he used whenever he talked about Mirkwood or the Prince, especially lately.

She shrugged a shoulder and tightened her grip on the mug, holding it closer to her chest. "Only natural, right?"

He nodded slowly, then sighed. "When was the last time you heard from him?"

She didn't answer right away, and let the question disappear in the air like her steady foggy breaths. Did he really want to know? When he turned to look at her after a few long minutes, she took a drink of her tea.

"Nine months."

He hummed a reply but said nothing, and they fell into a mutual silence for the remainder of the sunrise. He should have been resting, but she knew that telling him to do so would have been like arguing with a rock. She admired his dedication to his position as marchwarden, but still, he hadn't rested since receiving word of the orcs' movements in the woods. Instead, here he was bringing her tea as if she'd been the one up for days at a time.

"What is on your mind now?" he asked casually.

"I am thinking how stubborn you are," she said, changing the topic, and he turned toward her with a frown. "I know you will say otherwise, but you should be resting."

He sighed and turned away again. "I am waiting on a messenger from Caras Galadhon, if you must know. He is supposed to arrive early this morning."

She quirked an eyebrow.

"Fret not, I have rested all night," he said quickly before she could ask what the messenger was about. It wasn't uncommon for messengers to travel between the marchwardens and the city, carrying notes or orders or other important information. "Are you really planning on leaving?"

She bit the inside of her lip. They'd had this discussion before, multiple times actually, but her answer was always the same.

"Yes."

He nodded once and again they fell into a steady silence, except this time it was filled with something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"You have only just arrived," he said suddenly. "Perhaps you should return with Arwen in a few years."

The corner of her mouth twitched. Arwen wasn't planning on leaving Lothlorien for another seven years. She didn't think she wanted to wait that long.

Rivendell was calling.

"I think it's time," she said steadily. His frown told her he thought otherwise. Their friendship had grown and even though it was strictly platonic between the two of them, he was extremely protective of her just like his brothers. After Elladan and Elrohir's departure well over two years ago, she'd been scooped back up into the mix of familiarity, despite wondering if Haldir's affections for her weren't as platonic as she imagined. Their first meeting years ago in Rivendell was still in her mind, but who was she kidding? Legolas had snatched her heart.

"You do not wish to go back to Mirkwood?" he asked curiously, as if it should have been obvious that was where she should travel to instead.

She drew in a breath and sighed. "Not just yet. I wish to see Bilbo again."

"The hobbit?"

Nodding, she sipped her tea. "When do you plan on departing?"

"Not until summer, I think."

"That is right around the corner," he frowned heavily.

She smiled sadly. "It's only December."

He shrugged.

"You know, I wasn't planning on joining the guard at all," she reminded him gently. She could tell he was thinking about having to replace her on his team so soon after recruiting her.

"So you've said before," he muttered. "In the meantime, we must get what use we can out of you."

She elbowed him in the side and he grinned.

"I still think you should stay."

The amusement faded from her eyes. "I came here to learn and to grow."

"That never really ends, you know," he said. "We are always learning and growing."

Agreeing, she nodded. "Yes, I know but -,"

"It has only been three years. You still have a long way to go."

Her lips twitched into a frown. "I know."

Since Legolas' departure from Lorien, she threw herself into training with everything she had, forcing the thread that connected her and the Prince into the back of her mind, doing her best to coat it with warm energy. Maybe he could see right through it, and even hinted as much in his letters, but she didn't want him to know just how much she was really struggling.

His end of the thread would sometimes flicker to annoyance or frustration, but most of the time was equally coated with a false warmth that irritated her. What was the point of having the thread if they were both going to lie to each other?

Closing her eyes, she squeezed them shut momentarily. Haldir was quick to voice his displeasure when she announced last year that she wanted to return to Rivendell. She missed Adar and Estel the most. In her heart she knew it was time. Rumil and Orophin didn't say much when she told them the news, and Galadriel and Celeborn almost seemed to expect it, therefore, they were not overly surprised when she awoke one morning and announced her plans.

Knowing that the Lord and Lady supported her decision only made her feel like she was making the right choice. Yes, there was always more to learn, yes, there was always room to grow and advance especially with training.

She would be traveling home alone and it both excited and terrified her. Arwen was the most supportive of that decision. It would really test Shyloh's abilities, since Haldir and many others seemed to think she constantly needed someone to keep a close eye on her. She had wilderness training, and Boss was proven to be more than a compatible mount for her, despite what people originally thought of him when she first arrived.

Amazing what three years could do...

They'd grown together, and she was sure they could tackle any obstacle they faced.

"I will not press you anymore about staying, mellon nin," Haldir said quietly. "If it is truly what you want, then I cannot stop you."

She tilted her head to the side. "You have a lot of really great warriors here," she said fondly. "You will not miss me."

He laughed, suddenly. "Mellon nin, I will certainly miss you, as will many others."

"I think we both know I was never meant to stay here."

"Which is why I am curious why you do not return to Mirkwood, if that is your destiny." She could hear the displeasure in his tone every time he talked about the Woodland Realm. "Do you not miss him?"

"You know I do," she said steadily. "Why does this bother you so much? I told you before I joined the guard that I would not be staying long term. I told you to pick someone else."

"I hoped it would help ground you to Lothlorien," he admitted, and she was taken aback by that. Perhaps their relationship wasn't as platonic as she imagined after all, and she lowered the mug to her lap.

"Why were you hoping to ground me to Lothlorien?" She almost didn't want to know the answer to that question. She prayed she was overreacting.

He shook his head. "You have become apart of this place, Nimbrethil," he gestured to the forest around them. "You would be a fool to think I would be the only one to miss you."

She could tell he was holding something back from the way he spoke, but she wasn't in the mood any longer to try to decipher or argue about it. Had she only imagined their friendship as a non-complicated relationship? Had she been the fool in thinking he hadn't developed feelings for her over the years? She'd never even given a relationship with him a thought, not since her future in Mirkwood had come to light.

She drew in a breath and let it out slowly. "Why are you so adamant that I stay, Haldir?" she asked quietly. "You have been bringing this up more and more lately."

He frowned and slowly shook his head but he did not answer her right away. Instead, he copied her and let her question linger on the cold air between them once again.

The approaching sound of hooves and a whistle broke the silence of the air around them, and Haldir quickly got to his feet. His messenger was arriving, and before she could get another word out of him, he disappeared down the ladder and out of sight.


Boss loped down the worn path with Shyloh aboard. He snorted at the cold air that nipped at his face and Shyloh's eyes watered from the icy wind. She wiped her cheeks on her sleeve but didn't bother slowing down. She was anxious to get back to the city and away from the border. No, scratch that, she was anxious to get away from Haldir.

As sad as that sounded, the messenger brought word that she was to return to the city promptly for reasons she did not know, nor did the messenger, although he did say it was not urgent. She gladly did so, and made quick work of saddling Boss and bidding her troop farewell before taking off into the trees. Caras Galadhon was well over a day away from their current position on the borders, so it would give her plenty of time to think and be alone.

Haldir's tight lipped expression was ingrained in her mind when she turned Boss on his haunches and left without another word. He was her captain, and she made sure to treat him as such, but if he was secretly hoping for more out of her than just a fellow guard and friend, she could not give it. Shyloh suspected for over a year now that Haldir's affections for her had grown, after all, they'd hit it off right away when they first met in Rivendell. However, since learning about her future in Mirkwood with Legolas, she'd never given another ellon a thought.

Strange, how comfortable I've become with the thought of being with Legolas, she thought. Then again, he could always reject me and find love elsewhere...right? If he did, I wouldn't blame him.

If she were being honest with herself, she wouldn't blame Legolas if he found someone else. Maybe someone with less baggage. Maybe she should have looked in that mirror after all...

As if sensing her thoughts were wandering, Boss gave a small hop over a small branch that he could have easily stepped over, and it shook her out of her mind.

"Hey!" she scolded.

She let Boss make his own pace through the forest since her arrival at the city was not deemed urgent, and Boss was happy to stretch his legs once again. When night encroached upon them, she had just reached another set of telain, and the elves there were welcoming to her. She sat with them for supper, then retired for the night.

She was on her way well before the morning sunlight lit the forest, and Boss' foggy breaths made him look like a dragon as they once again loped their way through the trees. His energy seemed never ending, and she leaned forward in the saddle to breath in the familiar scent of horseflesh. It brought her back to her competitive horse show days, and she grinned when a fallen log off to the side of the trail approached.

"Come on, boy," she whispered to him.

His ears flicked backward to catch the sound of her voice and then perked forward, seeing the intended jump. He lengthened his stride and collected himself automatically. Leaning forward, she shifted her weight to support him in the jump, and they landed on the opposite side easily. Patting him on the shoulder, he gave a little buck, making her laugh and slip in the saddle.

"Steady boy," she scolded playfully. "Let's make it to the city in one piece."

He snorted in reply and tossed his head. She loved the sound of his hooves on the forest floor, and she loved watching the trees fly by in a blur.

"Let's see how fast you can go," she muttered, and squeezed her legs to his sides.

He took the cue eagerly, and took off down the trail, a smile spreading wide across her face. Her white hair whipped behind her as did her cloak, but she didn't care. For a few moments, she was free.

Free from the oppressive feelings she was slowly beginning to realize Haldir had for her, free from the slight crack in her heart that belonged to Legolas, free from her duties as a royal, free from...well...everything. Suddenly summer seemed like a very long time away.

He ran until he was spent, and then she let him slow down and pick his own pace. He pranced for a while, chomping on the bit, and a thin layer of sweat glistened his neckline.

"You've still got it old timer," she said, rubbing his neck.

They made it back to the city before evening fell, and the guards at the gate gave her a welcoming wave and she passed through the walls like she did it every day.

Dismounting, she led Boss to the stables where she planned on untacking him herself like she always did. He deserved a good rub down after such a ride.

However, the stable master, Normo, was already waiting for her at the front doors as if he'd been expecting her.

"My Lady," he said with a bow. "I am to pass along a message, that you are wanted promptly at the Lord and Lady's request."

She fiddled with Boss' reins and gave the horse an apologetic look. Perhaps she should have hurried back to the city a little faster if they were waiting on her.

"I will be happy to take him for you," Normo said, and she reluctantly passed Boss over.

"Thank you," she said, giving Boss one more pat on the shoulder. "I'll be back later if that's alright."

"Of course, my Lady," he said swiftly, and before she knew it, Boss was being led away.

Turning on her heel, she departed for the grand home immediately.