Into a new world

Disclaimer: None of the characters you recognise or the Harry Potter world are mine, and all belong to the fantastic JK Rowling.

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Chapter 4: A honest talk

It was two days later that Tanya had finally had enough. Severus was barely speaking to her, and when he did, he was cold and aloof. The kids had also noticed there was something wrong with him. He hardly played with them and seemed impatient.

"Sev, we need to talk." Tanya sighed. The kids were at Lily and James' house.

He didn't even look up before muttering, "I'm busy."

Tanya was hurt but tried another tactic, "You're in love with Lily, aren't you?" Although she posed it as a question, it wasn't.

Severus looked up from his book finally and put it down. "" I, I,"

But Tanya interrupted him, "Don't lie, Sev." She said softly.

"Yes." He said finally.

Tanya sighed again, "You never got over her."

"Did I in this life?" He asked in disbelief.

She nodded, "Yes, as you are, or were, happily married. Why did you never get over her?"

"I never had closure. We were close, and then I called her, ah,"

"A mudblood." Tanya supplied nodding.

Severus winced but agreed, "She never forgave me and then got with Potter, I never knew if she ever felt what I felt, and I couldn't ask her."

"She never forgave you?" Tanya asked in disbelief, Severus shook his head, and she continued, "That must be the difference, were you a member of the order?"

"Not while Lily and Potter were alive. I became a death eater when Lily didn't forgive me."

"So that didn't happen. Once she forgave you, one of her conditions was that you'd go to Dumbledore for protection."

"How did she forgive me?" He whispered.

Tanya laughed hollowly, "In front of all your Slytherin 'friends'. It was a good job that we only had a week of school left. I think you would have been in danger otherwise."

"I was never a spy for Dumbledore?"

"No," she started.

But Severus interrupted her, "The prophecy, Voldemort, never got that?"

Tanya looked surprised, "No, thankfully, only you overheard."

"I heard in the other timeline too, but I told Voldemort then."

"Why?" She sounded slightly harsh.

"I was a death eater, I was in the dark arts at that point."

Tanya looked like she wanted to say more about it but decided against it, "Anyway, once we graduated from Hogwarts, we joined the order, the marauders, including Peter, us two, Laya, Kathleen and Lily. For the first few weeks, you stayed away from us and would only talk to Lily. James noticed and told you to get over Lily."

"It worked?" Severus asked incredulously.

Tanya laughed, "No, did it heck."

"What did work then?"

"Dumbledore sent you, James, Lily, and myself on a mission together. The mission was to find out information from death eater hideouts, we were all disguised, mind you, but it was interesting. Lily and James spent the nights cuddled up in one room in our tent, which meant our only source of entertainment was to talk to each other and play games. It took one night of ignoring each other to realise it wasn't helping the situation be any less awkward. Once we started talking we realised we had a lot in common."

"Like what?" Severus challenged; he couldn't imagine them having anything in common.

"You were in love with Lily, and I was in love with Sirius."

He was surprised by the admission, but knew it wasn't the time to question her on it. "We started with that?"

She nodded, "I mean, I just told you to stop moping, and you told me how hard it was to watch the person you love in love with your enemy. I countered by saying, 'try being in love with your best friends' boyfriend. We agreed my situation seemed more hopeless. Over the next few weeks, we just talked about anything and everything. We were just friends for a long time, but slowly we talked less about Lily and Sirius and more about us."

"Why of all people did you choose me? We weren't exactly friends in school."

"Because I love you, Sev. Your hardworking, loyal, fun-loving, and kind. You are one of the best men I have ever known. And from what I know of your spy days, you risked your life to save others, how could I not love you?"

"I can also be cold, aloof and distant."

Tanya shrugged, "We all have our flaws. But I married you for better or for worse. No matter what happens, I won't abandon you."

Severus never really like Tanya in school, but now he saw a different side to her. Her loyalty was incredible. "I don't know how we can work through this, Tanya."

"Let's start getting to know each other, let's be friends first. You can't be with someone you don't know or like. It's clear we have been through very different things, and I know that your world seems much harsher than this one. We need to start from the beginning."

Severus nodded. It was the best result he could have hoped for, and better than what he was expecting. "What about the kids?"

"You need to let your guard down with them, even if you don't yet with me. Get used to letting them hug and kiss you. Treat them how you would treat Draco. I can help with how to interact with them."

"Okay," Severus nodded, "Thank you."

"Anytime." She walked over to him, "You need to get used to hugging me too."

He hugged her, and although it felt a bit awkward, she did feel safe to him, like home. "What do I normally call you?"

"Tan, usually."

Once they pulled away, he asked what had been haunting him for a while, "Did anyone replace me as spy?"

Tanya sighed, "Not straight away. But once Charlie Weasley graduated, he married Nymphadora Tonks. They are spies for the order. They are mainly based in Romania but come over often for death eater and order meetings."

"Does Molly know the truth?"

Tanya nodded, "All the order members do, but his younger siblings don't know. It's heart-breaking."

"Does Voldemort exist in this world?"

Tanya shrugged, "I'm not sure. He does have death eaters, and they are still very much at large, but we destroyed all of his horcruxes ages ago. As he doesn't have the prophecy he never targeted the Potters.

"What about Black?"

"Which one?" Tanya smirked.

"Now, I know why last names don't work, Sirius, I mean." Severus clarified.

"What about him?" Tanya asked, slightly dreading where this was going.

"You had feelings for him." It wasn't a question.

"Ah, that. I did, what do you want to know?"

"Why didn't you date him?"

"Two reasons: the first, he never showed any interest in me. The second, we wouldn't be good for each other."

"How do you know this? Are you not friends?"

"Of course, we are great friends, but there is a difference between being friends and being in a relationship. Sirius and I are both stubborn, strong-headed, and emotionally driven, meaning we let our emotions drive our behaviour a lot of the time. We are also very hot and cold with each other, which is fine when we are friends, but it would have been unhealthy for us to be in a relationship."

"Did you ever tell him?"

Tanya shook her head, "No. I don't see the point now anyway. Kathleen is way better for him, and you are good for me."

"In what way?"

"Well, you are steady, consistent, and stable. You keep me level, in a way no one I have ever known has been able to. And I can make you loosen up, be more spontaneous, have fun."

"I can see how we can balance each other." Severus allowed after a few moments of silence. "What am I meant to call Black anyway?" He didn't even realise he called Sirius Black again.

"Padfoot or Siri normally. You can get away with calling him Sirius, but not Black. That would bring up too many questions that we can't answer."

"What about Lupin and Potter?"

"First names at least, but normally moony or prongs."

"Wait, what do they call me?"

"Midnight, most of the time. But you get Sev a lot too."

"What job do you have? And everyone else, I guess?"

"Well, you are the alchemy professor, I am a healer at St Mungo's, working on the Dai Llewellyn for serious bites. I split my work between caring for these individuals and finding a cure for Lycanthropy. Kathleen is a researcher for St Mungo's, and looking for a cure for Lycanthropy and other deadly or life-altering diseases. James, Sirius, and Laya are all Aurors. James works in organised crime, Sirius is in the secret service in national security, and Laya is in international operations. Remus is the DADA professor, and Lily is now the potions professor. Before that, she was working on her potion's masters. Before that, she stayed home with the kids and worked part-time for the order." She also added, "You also need to curb your hatred of Harry." almost as an afterthought.

"I don't hate Harry. I had to make it appear as such, to keep him safe mainly. People were watching my every move, so I had to be biased towards the Slytherins. I still slip into that spy mentality, but I shall watch myself around him."

"Let you guard down, it'll help. At Hogwarts, you favour no one, but you do look out for your own house. You are firm but fair and are a confidant to many students, not just Slytherin's. I mean, our two kids in Hogwarts are in two different houses. Caleb is in Slytherin, and Sam is in Gryffindor."

"That will take some getting used to."

.

"Have a child in Gryffindor?" Tanya guessed.

"Not having children at all." Severus replied honestly, "Lily was in Gryffindor. I have no hatred for Gryffindors. I just had to appear to, to the death eaters kids."

"Did Lily ask you to check Harry over?" She asked, changing the subject.

Severus nodded, "Yes. She asked me to check him for any medical problems, as she knows her sister and her husband treated him poorly."

"When are you going?"

"Within the next few days."

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Authors note: As a reply to a review on the last chapter, Theo80b: Thank you for the review. I'm glad you like the concept. There will be an explanation regarding Voldemort in due time, but I can't give it all away at the beginning of the story. Regarding it being cruel sending them back, there will be things that happen in this world too, and it won't be all rosy all the time. I also think more than Pettigrew would benefit from the other world more, but we will have to wait and see who they are. As for if they will or not, you'll have to wait and see. Again, please please review if you get the chance. I always take them into account when writing. Still looking for a beta, so please shoot me a message if you're interested.