Hey, everyone!

Just a quick update here to let you know that I am not dead and that the story isn't abandoned. College and work have been hectic, but I finally have the time to write again. Chapter three is coming out in a few days, and, in the meantime, here's a preview of what's coming.

Hope you enjoy it.

Let me know in the reviews what you like and dislike and what you'd like to see in future chapters.

Quack, quack!

Preview:

Harry Potter

He was in the Chamber of Secrets when he opened his eyes.

It was dry, the air was fresh, and the broken pipes weren't broken. The shiny and clean tiles on the walls shone with a dim green light, the stone beneath his feet was smooth and uncracked, and the statue of Slytherin stood tall and proud as if it were made yesterday.

Why did it even fall into disrepair in the first place? There must've been a maintenance spell for statues… right?

Now that he thought about it, he'd never heard about a maintenance spell for statues. Well, he'd found his next mission.

"Fancy seeing you here, brat."

He was going to create a maintenance spell for statues!

"I'm curious, how did a stunning spell work on you?"

It was going to have everything a statue needed. A dust cleaning spell, a stone fixing spell, a bird poop removing spell…

"Are you even listening to me?"

A cool light effects spell…

"Hey, brat!"

Harry shook his head. "I didn't stick my toe in a beehive!"

"You're a moron."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Are you calling the kettle black, pot?"

The creature beside him was smaller than a baby and way uglier than one. Its skin was crimson and wrinkled, it had no eyes, and it stunk of rotten bananas.

It chuckled, and every word coming out of its mouth gurgled like boiling water. "Well, I guess we both ended up disappointed."

"Where's the snake?"

"You could've made a pretty penny selling it for scraps."

"Couldn't scrape the scraps."

"Should've scraped the scrapes."

"Are they any like grapes?"

"Grapes, vines, and times."

"Aren't they funny?"

"The times?"

"The grimes."

"The Grimes?"

Harry squeezed his temples and screamed. "What the fuck is happening?!"

The creature pulled back its lips to reveal broken and rotting teeth. "We're losing ourselves."

Harry scrunched his nose. "You in me?"

"And you in me."

"How"

"How indeed?"

"You're not insane."

The creature chuckled, and its empty eye sockets looked up. "Your little ritual had consequences much more far reaching than you had intended."

Harry straightened his back and turned to the creature. "How do I get rid of you?"

"Sheesh, ask a lamb to let you slaughter it, won't you?"

"You became immortal with me."

"Ding, ding, ding! You win the grand prize! An eternity with me!

Harry took a deep breath and pumped his magic into the Chamber.

Serpent heads became lion banners. Dark green tiles became red and gold walls. The statue of Slytherin became a fireplace roaring with golden flames.

As much as the creature screamed and squirmed, and as much as its foul magic leaked out of it like necrotic puss, it all amounted to nothing before Harry's onslaught.

Soon enough, they were sitting in the Gryffindor common room in the evening, comfortable in cozy armchairs, with steaming cups of herbal tea in front of them.

Harry took a long sip of a lovely mint blend. "You aren't a piece of old Smelly anymore."

"Oh, someone's calm."

"You're not him, you're not me… What are you?"

The creature puffed plumes of black smoke through the noseless slits on its face. It stank of old trash and spread through the creature's half of the room like mist. It corroded and ruined everything it touched until all that remained were corrupt remnants dripping with tar-like jelly.

"Who knows…" The creature chuckled. "Not me. Not you."

"You're being difficult." Harry waved his hand, and rays of sunlight burst through the windows.

"I still have all his memories, you know."

"I still have my nose."

"Right…" The creature blew a cloud of toxic mist on Harry. "It's not going to work."

"I think it is." Harry regrew his face and tried to change the creature's side of the room.

He couldn't.

"You can't kill me in here any more than you could from out there."

"So?"

The creature frowned, and its magic struck at Harry's part of the room, trying to change it.

It failed.

Harry chuckled. "Spooky, isn't it?"

"It will not work!"

"Why did old Smelly come after me? I never understood that part."

The creature snorted and jumped down from its armchair, walking up to Harry's part of the room. "I'd tell you to ask old Dumbledumb, but we both know how that'd go."

Harry chuckled and sent a spectral blade to cut off the creature's legs. "It's sad how all things end, isn't it?"

"That it is."

BOOM!

The room exploded into a cacophony of colors, sounds, and magic as Harry and the creature unleashed all they had at each other. There was no semblance of order or appearance left.

They stood in a void.

A timeless void of raw magic, shining in the colors of their power and will.

Harry was a tempest. He was blue, indigo, and crimson. His energy raged across the void like a violent tempest on the ocean, which destroyed all it touched.

The creature was quiet. Slippery. It was dark green and grey. It slicked around like a little snake, hiding in wisps of dark smoke and corrosive mist that pervaded everything.

The tempest crushed all darkness and mist it touched, looking for its master. It never found it until the snake slithered up from beneath Harry and wrapped itself around his neck.

The creature chuckled and squeezed. "It doesn't matter how strong you are, boy. I've forgotten more about life and magic than you will ever learn."

Harry looked into the hollows of the snake's eyes and smirked. "Gotcha bitch!"

His hand struck out like lighting, ripping the snake away from him as if it were no more than a piece of paper.

The tempest roared, burning away all the darkness and mist, and the void disappeared. They were back in the Gryffindor common room, with Harry sipping tea and the creature locked in a little dog cage.

Harry smiled. "That was fun. We should do it again sometime."

The creature shook the bars, and sickly grey spit flew out of its mouth as it raged. "You cannot keep me in here forever! I will get out and kill you in your sleep you immortal asshole!"

"Still calling the kettle black, pot."

"You're not as strong as you think you are, brat!"

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"Really!"

Harry waved his hand, and the Gryffindor common room warped into a child's birthday party. Happy music played from the radio, children played and yelled throughout the house, and colorful balloons hung from the ceiling.

The creature foamed in the cupboard under the stairs, unable to close eyelids it didn't have.

Harry spread his arms. "I hope you enjoy Dudley's seventh birthday. You'll be here for a while."

"Fuck you."

Harry opened his mouth to respond, but wisps and rays of foreign magic started trying to penetrate his system from the outside.

He frowned. "Huh… It seems Crow is ready for me. Well…" He grinned. "Best not keep him waiting…"