Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away from our heroes, a strange meeting is taking place upon a large ship--a large ship made from blackened wood with a rusted figurehead and moldy sails with rotting masts.
It starts when another ship, the Holy Mackerel sails alongside said ship, then a plank of wood is used as a bridge between both ship's starboard sides. From there, a gravy boat and cucumber walk across, much to the delight of Robert the Terrible, standing at the edge of said plank bridge.
Ah, Jones, how are ye lad?", Robert asked the living gravy boat.
"Just dandy, Robert." Gravy Jones replied. "Is it ready?"
"Aye, indeed…" Robert replied, grinning.
"SIR!" Orlando Bloom-inonion exclaimed. "One-eyed Tim and I hear tell that pirates are coming!"
"Wait..." Robert spoke, recalling something. "Be they with us or...with them?"
"They appear to be with them, sir." Bloom-inonion replied. "Their moniker be "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything"..."
Robert's jaw dropped. He could certainly recall how those buffoons had foiled his evil scheme the last time, and he certainly wouldn't let such a thing happen again...
"What shall we do, sir?" One-eyed Tim inquired.
"Well, since they've traveled so far, Robert maliciously grinned. "—I suggest we give em' a good old-fashioned SAILOR'S WELCOME!"
"Gift baskets, sir?" Brushwood asked, holding a bow-wrapped basket.
"NAY!" Robert boomed.
Robert's sword sliced through the basket, making everything Brushwood has stuffed within fall to the floor.
"Well shoot, there goes my scented candles and homemade salt water taffy…" Brushwood sighed.
"I dinnae mean GIFT BASKETS YE NUMPTY!" Robert slapped Brushwood upside the head.
"What did you have in mind, then?" Brushwood inquired, rubbing his sore face.
"Why…my ASSASSIN!" Robert exclaimed, then gave a whistle. "—RODRIGO!!" He called.
(*Flamenco guitar instrumental plays*)
From the ceiling came a yellow, extremely handsome, pirate chili pepper in a long, brown leather coat and matching tricorn hat. This chili pepper also had a marvelous beard rivaling Robert and Gravy Jones, and beautiful, soulful eyes.
"¡Hola!" Rodrigo spoke in a highly suave tone of voice.
Robert then handed the Spanish-speaking vegetable a sketched image of Elliot, Sedgewick, and George.
"Go forth, Rodrigo, and KILL!" Robert exclaimed.
"Sí." Rodrigo replied and left the ship…SWIMMING all the way to his destination with the speed of a modern-day outboard motor.
"Isn't he a wonderful assassin, gentlemen?" Robert asked, grinning. "You three could stand to learn a thing or two from him…"
"OH-HO YEEEEEES," a jealous Tim exclaimed in a loud, sarcastic voice. "HE BE SOOOOO HANDSOME AN' RUGGED...MORE SO THAN ORLAN—"
Orlando slapped Tim upside the face at that comment.
