The Amazing Thing About: Friendship. Chapter sixteen.
Despite the words of encouragement, there wasn't anything that could prepare her for the anxiety that spiked through her when they entered the great hall. Heads turned and the muttering began. There was even some pointing but the twins ignored it and led her towards the Gryffindor table. Hannah, Kelly, Cas, and Victor had snubbed their respecting tables to join them and as she sat down she could feel eyes on her back. From the Slytherin table came jeers and less than kind remarks that she did her best to not acknowledge.
Kelly took her hand and sat her down beside her. "How did it go?" She asked. Eliza filled them in on all that had happened in the headmaster's office. She apologized for losing their house points and Hannah scoffed. "Anyone who cares about points more than standing up for your friends can get stuffed." She said throwing a pointed look towards the ravenclaw table where there were more than a few dark looks being tossed their way. They weren't about to be winning any popularity contests any time soon that was for sure.
"See? Told you." Lee chirped down the line. She turned her gaze to Harry who was avoiding eye contact with her. "You mad at me, Harry?" She asked. He finally met her gaze and shook his head. "No. Just don't like people getting in trouble on my behalf." He said. She offered him a small smile. "I'm sure you can fight your own battles. I'm sorry." She had a feeling that he had to be slightly embarrassed so she wanted to nip that in the bud. He stared at her for a moment before nodding. "It was rather satisfying." A slow smile crept onto his face.
Hermione was on the fence about the whole thing after she explained that Malfoy's father had wanted a more severe punishment. "Imagine if he'd gotten what he wanted." She huffed but Ron, who was in a cheerful mood, interjected. "Bet Malfoy will think twice about saying anything to Harry for a while. He hasn't even shown his face since his father left." He was downright elated. Upon a quick scan of the Slytherin table there was no sight of Draco and some of his goons. "No doubt hiding in his room." Tasha joked with a wink.
"And if he tries to get revenge?" Hermione pointed out. He had said she should watch her back. Maybe he'd try something. George snorted. "With Dumbledore training her I doubt he's going to stand much of a chance."
There were looks exchanged and Eliza cleared her throat. She hadn't told them about that yet and at the mention of it the conversation changed drastically. "Are you serious? Dumbledore is planning to train you to use wandless magic?" Hermione asked after a brief explanation. Eliza didn't know what he was going to do exactly. "I think he just wants to help me control it so there isn't a repeat of what happened today." She tried to dismiss it all.
"That's amazing!" Cas said from a few seats down. "Let's not jump to any conclusions here." Eliza said. "This is only the second time I've done this so I think it will be a long time before I can come anywhere close to being competent at it." She had very little faith that she was going to be able to do anything outside of just controlling whatever it was or learning how to channel it into something harmless.
Hannah smirked. "Well until then if Draco wants to try anything he's going to have to get through us first." She said with a look to Kelly who nodded. Victor, who'd been quiet up until that point, finally spoke up. "We're not going to let him get a shot at you." He leaned forward to look down the line at her from where he sat. From the way they were talking Eliza quirked an eyebrow. "I'm not afraid of him." She said. "I don't need you all taking time out of your days to watch my back."
Kelly rolled her eyes. "We have basically the same schedule anyways so it isn't any different." She said. "Right. We just want you to know you're not alone." Hannah added. That made Eliza soften and she thanked them quietly. The rest of the meal they took the attention off of her which was a huge relief to Eliza. It wasn't until she, the girls, and Victor were on their way back to ravenclaw tower that anyone brought things up again.
"Are you nervous?" Victor asked. "You said Tuesdays after herbology is when you'd report to Dumbledore. That's tomorrow." He explained. She'd totally forgotten that it was even Monday. She shrugged. "I guess I am a little." She admitted. Kelly bumped her shoulder gently. "Don't be. You're going to be fine." She said. Hannah agreed and though they wanted to hang out in the common room there were far too many students and most of them didn't look happy to see her. So she excused herself and headed up to their room.
Kelly and Hannah joined her and when she said she had a homework assignment to finish they didn't complain. They all sat on her bed and worked together. It felt comforting to know they weren't trying to pester her if she didn't want to talk and it eased her nerves. Eventually she felt lighter than she had in hours as she helped Hannah with her own assignment. When the other girls in the dorm began to filter in there were a few looks but no one said anything to her. That was surprising. She expected a few quips at least but nothing came.
The following day she was back to being a nervous wreck after Herbology. As she stood outside the headmaster's office her anxiety swirled in her chest. She'd taken her sweet time slow-walking her way there all the while giving herself a pep talk. Kelly and Hannah had come with her most of the way which was helpful considering the amount of snide comments she received from various Slytherins and even a few from her own house. But now she had to do this alone. A part of her whispered in the back of her mind that she didn't have any real abilities with or without a wand. That this was going to be a waste of time.
The door opened from the other side revealing Dumbledore at his desk. "Were you intending to stand there all day?" He asked. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat before taking a few steps inside. "Sorry. Nerves." She said as he waved her forward. "Come sit." He motioned to one of the chairs in front of his desk and she quickly obeyed. He was busy writing something and it gave her time to look around his office. Before yesterday she'd never seen it and it was amazing. The most fascinating thing in the room was a beautiful bird perched off to the side.
"I see Fawkes has an admirer." Eliza's eyes snapped back to Dumbledore who had set his quill down and was smiling at her. "Quite wonderful companions, the phoenix." Eliza had no idea that was what it was and she looked back at the bird in awe. She'd heard of them but she'd never seen one that wasn't in a book and the pictures didn't do them justice. "It's beautiful." She said.
Dumbledore folded his hands on his desk. "From what I hear you have a curious companion of your own." He said. Eliza nodded. "Yeah. Rikki." She said and he looked to her bag as if expecting him to pop his head out. "Where is your ferret? I've always found their nature to be most endearing." Eliza was floored that he wanted to meet Rikki. What did he have to do with what she was here for?
"I left him with my friends. I didn't want him running around your office." She explained. Dumbledore sighed. "A shame. Feel free to bring him along next week." He offered. Eliza, confused, nodded. "Yes, sir." He seemed pleased with her response and her mind reeled. He was nothing like she expected him to be. Even the day before he hadn't been what she'd built up in her mind.
The man rose from his desk and came to stand in front of it. "Now, Ms. Montgomery. To the point." He said and plucked his wand up from the desk. "Inside every witch and wizard there is magic. It runs through our veins. Our souls." He said. In the air he wrote his name and with a flick of his wand sent it floating around the room until it faded in a rain of sparks. "A wand is a tool to guide that magic. To channel it." He said. "We know that the wand chooses the owner to fit its tastes and capabilities." He set his wand back down and lifted his hand. "But. Others in our world do not require it in the same way. It becomes more of an assistant to the abilities one has instead of a necessary tool." He gave a wave of his hand and half of the candles in the room flickered out. "To some, it is as easy as breathing." He waved his hand again and the candles returned to life, their flames dancing and swaying.
As she listened the doubt in her grew. She hadn't intentionally done anything and it made her feel like what he was saying didn't apply to her at all. "May I ask you a personal question, Ms. Montgomery?" Dumbledore clasped his hands in front of him and leveled her with a soft gaze. She didn't know what else to do but nod. He already knew what she'd been through the year before. He'd implied as much the day prior. How much more personal could it get?
"When did you begin to fall behind your fellow students with your spells and incantations?" He asked. The question made Eliza have to think back. In her first three years she'd kept up just fine but some time at the end of the first semester the year before she'd started slipping. "Maybe the start of my second semester last year. That's when I really noticed it." She guessed. At first she'd thought she was just stressed or overworking herself but as time marched on she'd begun to accept that she wasn't that talented of a witch.
Dumbledore nodded. "And the series of events that brought you to this school. When did that begin?"
Eliza took a deep breath. "Um..The middle of the first semester." That was when she'd begun officially seeing Connor. She'd had a crush on him since her second year but had figured he would never give her the time of day considering he was three years older than her. How wrong she'd been. Knowing what she did now she wished that had been true. "And do you believe these two things are not connected?" He asked.
She didn't have a suitable answer for that. "I can't say. It's possible."
"I spoke with your previous headmaster. He said you were one of his brightest students and excelled in all of your subjects until things began to slip when Connor Wardell entered the picture." Just hearing his name made her breakfast threaten to make a reappearance. Her hands clenched into fists in her lap. "Your performance began to decline at a rapid rate." Maybe from the outside it had appeared that way but those first few months she was far too wrapped up in her relationship to care much or even notice.
Dumbledore was watching her carefully as he spoke and she wished he wouldn't. She was trying to keep her composure but that was really a challenge when being forced to face her past. "Sometimes when those close to us begin to tell us that we are ordinary or less than we can start to believe them." His voice was soft and it was tugging at something in her chest that she would rather be left alone. "I have a feeling this may have been the case with you. That this boy made you think that you were nothing special."
Flashes of conversations began to flicker through her mind.
"I don't know why you're studying so much. There's no way you'll be at the top of the class. Don't worry about it."
"You're doing that spell all wrong. Are you even trying?"
"You're hopeless, ya know?"
"You aren't like your parents. They're powerful and you're...Just not."
"Look at you. You can't even get a simple charm right!"
"How I ever fell in love with a failure I'll never know."
Eliza lowered her gaze to the floor to cut the eye contact with the headmaster. He approached and set a hand on her shoulder as if he knew what she was thinking about. "Often this occurs when someone is jealous of one's talent. They see a bright shining example of something they can never be and they try to snatch it away and snuff it out."
She tried to process what he was saying but it was hard to ignore that voice in the back of her mind was saying that he was wrong. Connor was a great student and he was very skilled. Often she was amazed by the things he could do without even trying. Compared to him she wasn't bright or shining. She was a mere flicker and he was a roaring bonfire.
Dumbledore squeezed her shoulder and she looked up at him feeling her eyes begin to sting. "Do you know what I see, Ms. Montgomery?" He asked. She shook her head feeling her chest constrict and her emotions running wild. "I see a gifted young woman who will accomplish amazing things in time. A girl who was tricked into doubting herself by someone who never deserved her attention whatsoever." There was a kind, understanding smile on his face and he spoke with such conviction that she wanted to believe him.
He removed his hand and moved away to a bookshelf. "Since you've come here you have made progress." He said as he ran his finger over the spines of books. "Professors McGonagall and Flitwick have noted drastic improvement. But there is something inside you that is.." He paused and pulled a book from the shelf. "Blocked off."
Dumbledore strode back towards her and extended the book. "There is a deep connection between your emotions and your magic. It will take a lot of work to dissolve that doubt inside of you." She took the book from him and glanced at the cover. It was weathered and worn but she could make out the title. The Magic within; A history of Magic before the invention of wands.
"In that book you will find countless tales of witches and wizards from long ago that possessed abilities beyond one's imagination." Dumbledore said. "I think you have some of that within you." He winked and she looked from him to the book and back again. "How am I supposed to figure it out?" She asked. It was all well and good that he assumed she had these capabilities but he wasn't explaining how she was supposed to 'unlock them'. If he thought she had some sort of mental or emotional block what was she to do about getting rid of it?
The man held up a finger. "That, my dear, is up to you. I can only guide you. The grueling work will be in here." He tapped on his chest above his heart.
