"You can't be serious."
"Deathly." Coulson smirked.
"Funny enough, that's the exact word that came to mind when you mentioned how you plan to infiltrate this base."
Gonzales was confused. Coulson had allowed himself to be captured to prove he wasn't a threat and was in full control of himself despite what had happened to him. If that was still the case then this definitely wasn't the way to go about convincing him of that.
"It won't be deathly if we don't die. Besides, May is the best pilot I've ever seen, she can handle it."
"The best pilot in the world wouldn't be able to handle missiles tearing their plane apart!" Gonzales yelled, hoping to shake some sense into the Agent.
He didn't look deterred.
"Like I told you, their missiles won't touch us. Only the surrounding decoy plane."
Gonzales took a minute to gauge if Coulson really had gone mad. Staring at him, he saw the determination on his face.
He sighed "If you think this will work, then you have my support."
Coulson resisted the urge to fist pump. Honestly, he had only half thought this approach would work.
"On two conditions. One, that you open the toolbox."
He had thought about using that as a bargaining chip before coming here, so he wasn't taken off guard. He was ready to serve the box on a platter if it meant taking down Hydra and helping the people being experimented on.
"Done. You have my word." Coulson nodded "And the other?"
"That you don't put my people at risk. I'm not prepared to sacrifice them for this."
"Not a problem. I have my own people who are more than willing to do so."
"Then we have a deal. The mission is a go." He said, almost reluctantly.
"Thank you Robert."
"Don't thank me yet. Your plan isn't a sound one Coulson."
"I know. But sometimes you need to have a bit of faith."
————
Ward came out of the bathroom, dressed in his change of clothes.
He ran his hand over the material, specifically the part over his chest that sported a S.H.I.E.L.D emblem.
Never thought I would wear this again, he marvelled at how different it felt to wear it after everything had happened.
After becoming a criminal in the organisations eyes.
It somehow felt heavy, like the expectations of his former team that he would betray them again had manifested themselves into a tangible weight.
"What? It's not your style?" Skye scoffed and he looked up to see her watching him.
He felt the weight lifting and smirked.
"I have a reputation to uphold. I can't be seen in just anything." He joked, trying to sound arrogant.
Skye tilted her head to the side to fully appreciate the view. She took in the way the shirt nicely hugged his arms, or to be exact his muscles, along with the almost see through effect the material had on his stomach.
"I wouldn't worry about it." She grinned, knowing how much of an understatement that was.
His lips pulled to the side and he shook his head "Thanks."
"Anytime." She smiled but quickly covered her mouth in a yawn.
Seeing how tired she was he frowned "Ok, I think we need to get some rest. If Coulson has managed to persuade Gonzales to help us then we'll likely be carrying out the mission sometime later today."
"You're right. I'm so not sleeping under the sheets though. After hearing Morris and his little friend and seeing the rest of this place it hasn't given me much confidence that these things get cleaned regularly."
"Good call." He moved over to the chair by the window and sat down, ready to sleep.
"What are you doing?" Skye asked, confused.
He looked at her "Sleeping? We just talked about it."
"Smart ass. I meant why are you sleeping in the chair?"
"There's only one bed."
"Really? I thought there was one on the ceiling," she rolled her eyes "I'm aware of that super spy. Why aren't you sleeping in it?"
"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." He told her, looking uncomfortable himself.
"I'm a big girl Ward I've slept in beds with guys before."
I know, he thought to himself, remembering the incident with Miles.
He tried to tamp down on the anger and jealousy he felt regarding that day as he knew he had no right to feel either of those emotions towards her.
"I'm fine with it, really." She reiterated, trying to convince him.
When he didn't say anything she moved to get off the bed "If you don't wanna sleep in it with me then at least let me take the chair, you're taller and let's be honest you're gonna be more useful on the mission anyway so you need to be well rested."
He stood, shaking his head, and stopped her before she got off the bed.
"That's not my problem, Skye."
In fact that was the opposite of a problem to him. She thought he didn't want to share a bed with her? He might have done some morally grey things in the past that put his sanity in question but he wasn't insane yet.
"Then what is? Just sleep on the bed, I told you I'm cool with it." She told him, leaning back down on her side.
What the hell are you arguing for, you idiot? The voice that seemed to show up when he wanted something returning. It had been strangely absent until Skye showed up.
"Fine." He sighed, giving in. He turned the light off then went to lay on the bed.
"Try not to sound too excited," she sniggered "I know I'm not Morris but you're really hurting my feelings here Ward."
He wasn't sure it was possible to smile and cringe at the same time but he managed to do it in that moment "His guest did sound like she was enjoying herself."
Skye turned to Ward and sniffed in fake distress "I'm sorry I can't be him."
"If you were then I definitely wouldn't have got on the bed," he said, fully serious. He heard her laugh and felt himself smile "Go to sleep, Skye."
"Yes sir."
There was silence for about five minutes, only the sound of the trees rustling in the light wind and the occasional sound of what Ward recognised as an Eastern screech owl from his time alone in the woods. He had ran into Bird watchers every so often who had mistook him for a tourist, taking a hike to be in nature.
It was laughable how wrong they were.
But despite their wrong assumptions their rambled, excited words about wildlife were the only interactions he had over the span of months.
So of course he had stayed and listened. Of course he had remembered.
And after a while he began to find the calm in it, to listen to and watch these creatures.
He had begun to view nature as something to be enjoyed, not just survived.
Another noise broke the ones he had identified, one that he knew and had committed to memory even more than the others. Skye's sigh.
He felt her move, rolling onto her side.
Then her other side.
Then her back.
Then her front.
She sighed again.
"Skye?" He whispered, asking what was wrong just in the way he said her name.
"I can't sleep." She huffed, shuffling again.
"You worried about Coulson?" He guessed.
She nodded until she realised he probably couldn't see her in the dim light.
"Yeah." She whispered too.
He could hear the worry and dread in the one word she had uttered and wanted to reassure her. Actually, he wanted to fix all of this but he couldn't do much at this moment in time so he decided to settle for putting her mind at rest.
"He'll be fine. In fact I think he'll even convince Gonzales that it's not him he should be wasting man power on."
"What makes you so sure?" She played with the bottom of her shirt, not having sheets or a blanket over her.
"Because he's Coulson. He could convince Captain America to switch his shield for Sword."
He heard her laugh and he smiled to himself, a warm feeling taking over at him being the one to elicit that sound from her.
"Do you think we'll be able to rescue the Gifted's taken by Hydra?"
"We're gonna try. And when have we ever tried and not accomplished at least a bit of what we set out to do?"
She considered this for a second and felt slightly better.
"You know you seem different since I went and got myself knocked out."
He stilled on the bed, frozen as if moving even an inch would alert her that something was wrong and trigger her memories to return.
"Different how?" He choked out, failing at sounding relaxed.
"Just...different. Even more brooding than before if that's possible," She released an amused huff of air "And," she paused again "I dunno. You smile more."
He relaxed, but only slightly.
He nearly blurted out 'How can I not smile more? I have you back.'
For however long this would last for it was more than he ever thought would be possible again.
But instead, he went with "I thought you wanted me to smile more?"
He was good at deflection.
"I do. I guess it's just weird."
"Wow. Thanks." He said sarcastically.
"You know what I mean," she laughed and elbowed him lightly "I guess I'm just trying to make sure you're ok."
He wasn't sure what to say. Ever since he had realised that she couldn't remember anything he had automatically, almost unconsciously, slipped back into the character he had been playing while on their team.
The aloof, closed-off, disgruntled specialist.
The only problem with that was...well, he wasn't sure if that was who he actually was. Between who his family had tried to make him, the person Garret had tried to mould him into and the various characters he had to adopt to survive in the odd life he found himself wrapped up in, he honestly wasn't sure who the real Grant Ward was.
So yeah, he couldn't blame her for her confusion. He was probably acting like he was the one who had been hit on the head.
Suspicious, and as Skye had said, just...different.
Maybe after all this was done he would have to seek out therapy.
God, after Skye reverted to hating him again he would need more than that.
The only thing he did know, was absolutely sure of, was that he liked the person he seemed to be when he was with Skye.
Wanted to super glue this persona to himself and play him for the rest of his life.
She had been the only person in his life who had accepted what they saw in him and hadn't tried to fashion him into something they wanted.
A perfect son of a senator in the public eye, a punching bag, a weapon, a spy, a tool.
She had asked for none of that.
The only thing she had asked for was for him to be her friend, to be loyal.
And he couldn't even do that.
"Ward?"
"I'm ok," and it wasn't a complete lie. Not for now at least. He was definitely ok here and now with her next to him. Later would be a different story "I'm just trying to sort through some things."
He felt her shift again and he turned his head in the dark to see the outline of her leaning on her elbow, looking down at him.
"Can you promise me one thing?"
"Anything." The word was out before he could stop it.
"Don't pull a you."
At his confused silence she continued.
"Don't bottle everything up and 'compartmentalise' or whatever you guys call it. You might be an agent and a badass specialist but underneath the titles, underneath the badge, underneath it all you're still human. And humans need to talk. We just have to. I don't want to see you get hurt," she sighed "So please, promise me."
He stared up at her, practically feeling the concern radiating off her and he told her the truth.
"I promise. As long as you're there to listen I'll be ready to talk."
"Thank you, Ward." She lay back down again.
"Can I ask a question?"
"You just did."
"I'm convinced you took lessons to be this infuriating." He lied, loving each and every comment she was making. There he went again, covering his feelings with a joke. He was turning into Skye.
"Only a few, they got too expensive after a while."
"I feel like you're joking but I really can't be sure."
She laughed "I'm kidding. What was the question?"
"The name you used back at the ice cream place, Lara. You've used it before?" He asked, the question coming out as a statement.
"Yeah, I have. How did you know?"
"You sounded like a specialist. You just said it so confidently with no room for anyone to even think that it wasn't the name you've used your whole life."
"Was that praise I just heard in your voice or am I imagining things?"
"Alright, you got me. I was impressed."
"If I wasn't already lying down I think I'd pass out." She said, heavy sarcasm.
"Come on. I've given you plenty of encouragement with your training before."
Hadn't he?
"But never such a glowing endorsement. So thanks."
"What made you choose that name?" He pushed, wanting to know more about her life before he found her in that van.
"Lara Croft."
"Who's that?"
"Seriously? You've never seen Lara Croft?"
"No."
"Played the games?"
"I feel like you know me well enough to know I only like board games."
"Ok, when we're back on the bus later I'm playing the movies for you."
She sounded so excited about that idea that he almost forgot that there wouldn't be a later. At least not with her.
The thought made itself known almost violently, and he felt a wave of nausea at the prospect of never being back on the bus surrounded by the team, waiting for their next mission. At the reality that Skye would never again be in the bunk across from him at night.
"What about them did you like?" He asked quickly, trying to banish the thoughts.
"Everything. She was this Badass woman who travelled the world, had adventures, never let anyone tell her she couldn't do something," he heard the awe she put into every word and suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to know about this character she adored so much. Her voice turned somber "And I guess I related to her not having parents, being alone. Granted, she had the billions of dollars in the estate left to her by her parents but you know. Gotta fund the globe trotting somehow."
"You know she kinda sounds like you." He told her, truthfully.
"Yeah. Right." She scoffed.
"I'm serious. You're with shield, you're travelling the world. And I've never once witnessed you not do something just because someone made the mistake of saying you couldn't."
"Seriously, who are you and what have you done with Grant Ward?" She said in exaggerated shock.
He wanted to know the same thing.
"Funny."
"No really, you've said more nice things in the past 24 hours than you have in the whole time since I met you."
"What can I say, you were injured. Thought I'd be extra nice."
"Extra nice is an understatement. Comparing me to Lara Croft is a sign you're short a few skittles in the packet."
"I haven't seen it before, so I'm just going off what you've told me. She sounds like you."
"Wait till you see Angelina Jolie playing her. You'll take back the comparison real quick." She joked.
"Why's that?"
"She's, like, the epitome of badass and beautiful. Ask any guy or girl who likes women who their crush is and they'll say her nine out of ten times."
I wouldn't, he thought.
"She does sound like my type." He said in a joking tone, not so subtly hinting.
"She's everyone's type." She added, distracted by his comment. If he had just compared her to Lara Croft and told her she was his type did that mean she herself was?
This is stupid, she told herself. Someone like Grant Ward was supposed to be with someone like Lara Croft, not someone like her.
She wasn't completely out of self worth, she knew her value in terms of relationships but she couldn't quite shake the feeling of not being good enough left over from first being orphaned by her parents then being repeatedly given back to the orphanage by each of her Forster families.
And someone like Ward would only ever see her as a friend, maybe a sister. Someone he had to protect out of responsibility.
But it was so difficult when she was around him. He was good at making her feel like she wasn't only worth something, but that she was worth everything.
It was hard not to trick herself into thinking they could be something more than friends or colleagues.
"The thing about people who are everyone's type is that they're usually no ones."
"What do you mean?"
"It's like," he tried to think of an analogy "Everyone's type of drink is water. But they usually don't drink it because they love it they drink it because it's giving them what they need. But other drinks like," he couldn't think of a particular type.
"Hot chocolate." She supplied for him.
"Yeah," he remembered how much she used to drink on the bus, regardless of the weather "Well with hot chocolate people drink it because they want to. It doesn't really give them anything they need, just the pleasure of drinking it."
"Ok. I think I get what you mean." She nodded, "It's more special to be liked by less people but loved by a few. Because they see the real you, all of you not just what you want them to see, and still want you around."
"Exactly. When people only show what they know others want then no one will ever see who they are to like it. It's just a projection of what they think people want them to be."
He should know. He'd been doing it his whole life.
It was like a defence mechanism. Some animals had camouflage, some had spikes. He happened to have reading people and being able to morph into what he could see they wanted.
"You tired yet?"
"Kinda. Can you talk some more?" She was nearly ready to sleep but she wanted him to keep taking to her as she wasn't sure when this talkative mood he was in would return.
"Sure."
Sensing he was struggling to settle on a topic she asked "If you were a drink what drink do you think you'd be?"
He nearly laughed. She sounded like one of those quizzes he would find her doing from time to time on her phone. The pointless ones that spat out ridiculous answers. But she seemed to enjoy them so he thought about what answer he would spit out.
"I don't know, I've never really thought about. Maybe a type of alcohol," he thought of all the types he'd had "Vodka maybe."
"Why?" She mumbled, getting drowsy.
"It's straight forward. It's versatile. Most people don't like the taste unless it's disguised by something." He thought almost bitterly.
"I can see that about Vodka. But I don't think it's accurate for you."
"Really? What drink do you think I am then?"
"I think you're," she paused and he thought she had gone to sleep "Whiskey. You're classic, dependable. You're serious, on the surface, but the more you get to know you, you can see the vibrancy and feel the warmth that you have. Sometimes it can burn at first but it's worth the initial pain for the aftertaste."
He was stunned.
He didn't realise that a game of 'what drink am I?' would lead to the best compliment he'd ever been given in his life.
All the others he remembered had been superficial. A compliment about his fighting here, a nice comment about his shooting skills there. The closest he had come to real ones had been the women he had to seduce over the years who had called him varying forms of attractive.
But this was something else. Something of substance.
Did she really think he was worth it?
"And it reminds me of your eyes." She said, the words almost slurred.
He could tell she was half asleep. So he was surprised when he heard her talk.
"What drink do you think I am?"
He didn't even have to think.
"Hot chocolate."
But he doubt she heard him as he could hear her breathing even out and a quick "Skye?" with no response confirmed she was asleep.
An: Ok, so this is mainly unashamed fluff so I'm sorry not sorry about that. The next chapter will have more plot I swear *Pinky Promise*
