The nations stared at the two states who had just landed on Germany who was now groaning in pain. Meanwhile, the state on the right that had been identified as Arizona was now smiling awkwardly at the grown nations in front of her and said, "This isn't the bathroom?" while the other one was facepalming and muttering something about timing.
"YOU!" Germany said as he managed to pull himself up and stared at the two girls standing on top of his stomach which I assume isn't the most pleasant experience.
"YOU!" Arizona cried as a rock randomly materialized in her hand and she chucked it at Germany's head as the girl in the blue skirt slid off and did another facepalm about her sister's actions.
"What was that for?" Germany cried as he pushed the state off him before standing up grumbling about America's children not having any manners whatsoever and how have they not killed themselves yet.
"I don't like you," Arizona shrugged as she picked herself off the grass she had fallen on.
Remembering what her brother had said to him, he scrunched up his face at her. "Oh and why is that?"
"Well, Papa always tells us how stern and strict you are all the time. Do you even know how to have fun?" Arizona asked.
Germany's face now looked like he had been sucking on a very sour lemon the longer he stared down at the short-haired state which somehow worsened when Prussia spoke, "That's what I keep telling him, fraulein."
"Prussia! You're supposed to be on my side," Germany said to his older brother.
Prussia laughed, "I'm sorry, Bruder, but all the stress you put on yourself isn't good for you."
"Is it so wrong that I want people to act like adults when it comes to the fate of the planet instead of people throwing paintings at each others' heads?" Germany asked. Sure, he knew he wasn't exactly the world's fun guy (that title belongs to Italy if he was being honest), but his people depended on him to make the right decisions so he didn't have time to goof off. He couldn't afford to let them down. Not again.
"That happened?" the other girl in the yellow poncho asked her father.
"Yeah, China flipped a table before ripping a painting off the wall before flinging it at my head. Corner first," America said in a nonchalant voice.
"Well...that's disturbing," the girl replied. "But then again I guess we can't really judge since the last time we had a state meeting the California's and Washington threw Oregon out the second-story window."
"I'm sorry what?" Germany said turning away from his staring contest with Arizona.
"Yeah. And they call me violent," Arizona continued.
"You are violent, Aldonza," the other girl said with her hand on her hip which earned her a scowl from the other one. "Ugh, why did God curse me to be the most normal out of my siblings, full or otherwise?" she muttered.
"And who are you, chiquita?" Spain asked. He had actually been waiting to properly meet the two since he realized their resemblance to his adopted little brother.
"Me?" The elder one said pointing at herself in shock to which Spain nodded. "Oh, I'm New Mexico or Josefina Jones."
"New Mexico?" Spain asked and she nodded. "Well, you do look just like Mexico when he was young and cute. You know before he became like America and rebelled against me."
"Uh...excuse you first of all," America said in an offended voice.
"Also, mama (Mexico: I am a man!) told me living under you was like living under a dictatorship especially when Señor France ruled over you. He also said that whenever he missed Bible studies when you were around, you would lock him in a prayer closet," New Mexico said in a blatant monotone.
"Well, sometimes bad children need to be punished," Spain said with a creepy smile that made some of the countries who didn't know Spain very well were rather taken aback at what just left his mouth. They were learning so much this week, don't you think? Firstly, that America was not only a father but also what could only be described as an obsession with overprotecting his children and the implication that the unusually cheery and sunny Spain used to be exponentially stern with his Latin American colonies, they should be more careful. (Author's Note: Hi! FrozenQueen12 if you're wondering where this comes from, it comes from something Himaruya said that while Spain was very stern with the Latin American countries, Romano was special)
"Oh, so you're where mama (Mexico: I'm still a man!) got his punishment methods from?" Arizona said, abandoning Germany.
Spain's expression changed from creepy to confused. "Mexico locks you in a prayer closet?"
"You think I would let him see them if he did?" America said, his voice uncharacteristically (or characteristically) cold.
"Then what does he do?" Spain asked.
New Mexico and Arizona looked between each other before the latter said, "Well..."
*Two Days Ago after New Mexico and Arizona's impromptu visit to the World Meeting*
"So, uh, do you think Papa's mad at me?" Arizona sheepishly said to her sister as they sat on the sofa of the parlor where Pennsylvania was playing on his piano.
"Si," New Mexico said with her arms crossed over her chest with a scowl marring her features.
Arizona at this turned her head to stare at her sister with a betrayed look and wide mouth before screaming at the top of her lungs, "How could you, New Mex!? You're supposed to tell me that everything will be fine! That Papa will solve everything and I won't get in trouble."
"You want me to lie?" New Mexico asked turning towards her sister.
"It wouldn't be a lie, because we don't know," Arizona shrugged with a tense smile.
New Mexico stared at her for a while before facepalming. "Okay, fine. Papa's going to come home perfectly happy that his biggest secret has been revealed to quite literally the entire planet, including his rivals, and the fact that in doing so we made a major mess that will only make us and him look guiltier by comparison over a freaking bug," New Mexico said.
"It wasn't just a bug. It was a beetle. And well, it's not the entire planet, Mr. Lithuania and Mr. Romano already know about us," Arizona said. At New Mexico's shaking of her head, Arizona turns towards their blonde older brother, "Come on, Penn, help me out with this."
Pennsylvania stops before looking over with a first shocked expression that they were talking to him but shrugged, "Sorry, kiddo. I'm not getting involved," before going back to his piano.
"Traitor," Arizona muttered when they heard the front door slam open and she openly gulped. "You don't think that's Papa, right?"
"ARIZONA! NEW MEXICO!" called their father, anger prevalent in his voice. Now they knew from Texas and their other southern siblings, that the last time Papa had ever raised his voice at them was at the end of the Civil War when he was taking them back into the Union so hearing that tone be used against them was for lack of a better term, terrifying.
"She did it!" New Mexico cried as Pennsylvania played minor notes on his piano.
"HEY!" Arizona cried at New Mexico.
"COME HERE BOTH OF YOU!" America cried. Arizona and New Mexico looked between each other then around the room. Maybe they can jump out of the window and not have to deal with this? No. If they did that, then dad would be even angrier. The two then looked at each other before sighing and pulled themselves off the couch and walked out to the corridor where America was standing with his arms crossed. "What do you two have to say for yourself?"
"Um..." Arizona began as she looked at the ground to avoid his gaze. "Sorry, Papa."
"Lo siento, Papa," New Mexico said, also dodging her gaze. "I tried to stop her though."
This time it was America's turn to facepalm, "Since I can't punish you guys, I'm calling him."
This made the two turn as pale as a ghost as they rushed over to their dad. "No, Papa! Please don't!" they cried.
"Sorry girls, I'm already calling him," America then pulled out his phone and typed in his phone number. "Hey, Mexico. Can you tell the girls one of your stories?"
"Why is that whenever you need to punish Nuevo México and Arizona, you have to make me the bad guy?" Mexico said from over the phone.
"Well, I'm the hero obviously, and also they actually listen to you when you punish them," America shrugged.
There was a long pause as the girls bit their fingers hoping that Mexico wouldn't tell them the stories. It was already bad enough that Texas told them when they lived with him. "...Si. Hand them the phone," Mexico told America and America nodded giving them the phone on speaker.
"Hola, mama," Arizona and New Mexico said to Old Mexico.
"Okay, I'm a man first of all, and second, do you want me to remind you what el cucuí does to bad children?" Mexico said.
"No!" they both cried in a frightened voice.
"No? You don't want me to tell you how he sneaks into your closet at night and waits until you're asleep-"
"Stop it, mama!" Arizona cried as New Mexico shook in her boots.
"Then apologize to the gringo and don't get me involved. Adios, mi hijas," Mexico said before hanging up.
America took the phone back and took note of the shaking forms of his daughters, America muttered out loud, "Well, I still don't what that is but it seems to do the trick."
"I'm sorry papa!" New Mexico cried as Arizona quickly ran to check the closets in the hall.
America looked over before sighing, "Okay, sweetie. Just let daddy fix this but you two are definitely grounded so you better march yourselves up to your room. And I will be taking away your alien research equipment and your bug catching equipment."
"But I need that to get more proof of extraterrestrial life so people stop thinking that I lost my marbles after Roswell," New Mexico cried.
"And I really just like to catch bugs, Papa!" Arizona added.
"Should've thought about that beforehand. Now march up to your rooms," America said pointing towards the staircase which they reluctantly did so.
*We now return you to your regularly scheduled States-fic.*
"Ah, the Coco story. Works like a charm every time," Spain said with a satisfied smile.
"Yeah..." New Mexico said as she ducked her head.
Suddenly a wild Virginia appeared, "So what was all the nonsense of you being the most normal state? And aren't you the same girl who tries to break into Area 51 three times?"
"The third time was epic though," Arizona said with a satisfied grin before giving a large pat on the back to her sister.
New Mexico glanced between her sisters before opening her mouth to say, "So what? I know the truth."
"About what?" asked Spain which caused New Mexico's eyes to light up but she remained calm and subdued.
America facepalmed and said, "Here we go."
"Well, did you know that a race of lizard people landed on Earth when the humans were living in caves and began to take positions of power as humanity grew?" New Mexico asked and the countries just looked between each other then at her with uneasy smiles which did not unnoticed by the state. "Don't look at me like that! It's true! Tony even told me that there was a planet of reptilian bipedal aliens."
America slapped his forehead, "I gotta stop letting Tony tell you things."
Speak of the devil, and he does come but in this case, it's a little gray alien holding a yellow folder beaming down from his saucer-like UFO next to the state wearing the yellow-poncho. "Yo, fuckers," said the alien to the countries as England just grabbed his head, bracing for yet another oncoming headache. Where's ibuprofen when you need it?
"Tony!" cried New Mexico as she rushed to hug the gray alien and to the nations' surprise, his eyes seemed to soften a bit as he looked at her. "So did you get it?" she asked with enthusiasm in her voice. The alien handed the folder that the countries were now able to read, 'America's Secret Collection'. "Finally I now have proof that it was all cover-up at Roswell," she said as she held it up for the countries to look. However, America dived in and snatched the folder out of her hand which caused her to go blank-eyed for a moment before looking back at her father.
"Okay, first Tony you traitor! What did she bribe you with this time?" America asked his alien friend who immediately produced pictures of a naked Lithuania which caused the real Lithuania to squeak out in fright and Russia to stare.
"Where did you get that? Cause I need to blackmail Nevada for reasons," Arizona asked.
"Why do you need to blackmail Nevada?" asked New Mexico.
"That's a long story but all you need to know is he needs to pay," Arizona replied.
"Anyway, I got them off this Estonian guy on the internet," New Mexico shrugged.
"Estonia," Lithuania said in an angry tone that shocked everyone except Russia.
"Okay, one Josefina that is horribly illegal, secondly, didn't getting banned from coming within 50 feet of Area 51 after the raid teach you something?" America asked as he bent to be on the same level as the state.
"Nope. I won't give up until the whole world knows the truth," New Mexico replied with another shrug.
America hung his head at this before standing, "Well I guess I won't stop you kid but don't go through my shit. That goes for you too, Tony."
Tony just glared but sighed as he pulled out his communicator and seconds later beamed up to his UFO without another word to the countries.
"Okay, what just happened?" England asked still trying to decipher the appearance of the annoying alien.
"Anyways, what about you?" Spain asked the straight-haired girl.
"Me? I guess I can a bit of a handful," Arizona nonchalantly said.
"You tried bungee jumping into the Grand Canyon," America said.
"Come on. You and the other guy raced down Niagra Falls in barrels so why can't I bungee jump off my own formation?" Arizona replied.
"Because you can get hurt for one," America said, holding up his index finger.
"But I'm a state! It's not like I'll have any permanent damage," Arizona shrugged.
"Two, when your uncle and I did that we were...impaired in the brain department," America continued with a blush.
"Yes. New York was quite detailed on how 'impaired' you were," Virginia teased. "60 shots? Really, dad?"
"That traitor. I thought I bribed him enough never to tell what happened,
America growled.
"I think with New York it will never be enough," Virginia shrugged. "Anyway, where's Arizona?"
"What do you mean? Sh-" asked New Mexico only to find that in the place Arizona should've been, was now an empty space. This caused the countries and states to look around for the elusive, troublemaking state and soon found her sticking her head into a nearby bush.
"Arizona? Whatcha doin' there, kid?" America asked her which caused her to come out of the bush with twigs in her messy ebony hair with her hand cupped around something.
"Sorry, Papa. Just got bored," Arizona said before walking over to Virginia. "You've got some funny bugs here, Ginny," she said as she uncupped her hand to reveal in her left palm a large wolf spider lazily sitting there.
Virginia stared at a moment before screaming out an ear-piercing screech that even caused some birds to fly away and the nations to cover their ears. Doing this she swats the spider out of her sister's hand and began to stomp on the poor creature ten times until it eventually... "fell into a coma" and then wiping her clothes rapidly trying to get off any invisible spiders off her body, shouting, "EWEWEWEWEW!"
"Virginia! Virginia!" America cried trying to grab his delirious daughter. "Ginny!"
This made her pause for a moment before shouting, "Don't call me that!"
"You okay now?" America asked, his heavy breathing daughter who after taking a deep breath nodded. "Okay. Arizona, don't do that again."
"Yes, papa," she said before turning to Spain. "Your country's hot right?"
"Si," Spain answered.
"If it gets really hot, do you ever try to cook eggs on the asphalt?" Arizona asked which aroused confusion in international guests.
Spain stared before shaking his head, "No. Why would I do that?"
"Oh really? I guess I really am the only one," Arizona replied which just add to their bewilderment and caused Italy and Romano to faint from imagining something so horrific.
"W-why would you do that?" Spain asked to which Arizona just shrugged.
"It gets really hot at my house and I like experimenting," Arizona nonchalantly said before seeing the horrified faces of the gathering countries. "I don't eat it."
"Oh," they all said.
"Anyway, New Mexico? Arizona?" America said catching the two's attention. "Before you go back to your room, don't you have something to say to Mr. Germany and everyone else?" America said in a fatherly tone. "Or should I call Mama?" (Mexico: I am a MAN!)
The girls shook their head before turning back to the countries with shame written on their faces. "S-sorry, Mr. Germany," Arizona said, looking off to the side, her hands behind her back, her hair hiding her blushing cheeks.
"Lo siento," New Mexico said next, with a small, shaky smile with her hands in front of her stomach folded against each other, and her eyes off to the side.
Germany looked at the two for a moment and thought back to that day at the meeting and the fury he felt at the two for disrupting them and forcing them to have another meeting about America's states which also led him to remember what he would say to them if he ever got the chance. Heck, they both landed on him just today but looking at them now, so pitiful, and so young. They had to be what 7 or 8? He sighed. "Just be careful."
The two perked up and nodded. "Now back to your rooms until lunch you to. And if you try breaking out again, you won't have dessert," and this caused them to gasp loudly.
"This is tyranny!" Arizona cried as New Mexico grabbed her orange cloak and began to drag her off.
"I told you this wouldn't work," New Mexico said.
"You still went along with it!" answered Arizona.
The countries watched the two leave when America and Virginia turned towards them and America asked, "So where to now?"
However, before the countries could answer the American personification a young girl about 12 1/2 with long fiery-red hair tied in a ponytail that came down to her waist and bright green eyes the color of spring fields that wore a red gingham button-up with a brown leather fringe vest with matching brown cowboy boots and blue denim skirt came running up to America breathing heavily. "Papa...Wyoming...Colorado...Shooting Range," she said in between vest before just grabbing America's hand in her own leather, fingerless gloved hand and running with him to where she came from.
"Should we follow them?" asked England.
"I'm kind of afraid to, but if we must," Germany answered.
Author's note: I wonder who the redhead was and what's going on at the shooting range.
