It's just Dire Crowley, except given his goth-pimp attire I think he might be worse than the ghosts. "Good evening, I am ever so kind to have brought you dinner."
Wait. He comes with food? Is it edible? I'm… I'm hungry. He might not be so bad…
"Wait! Why is the monster that we removed for causing a ruckus at the opening ceremony here?!" He looks a little offended? If I could see the rest of his face, I could actually tell.
"Hmph! I got rid of the ghosts! You should show your gratitude!" I wonder if Grim knows one of his eyes close partway when he smirks.
"Hm? What is going on, No?"
Yeah, he's never going to stop thinking my name is No Way. But I guess I'm going to spell it Wei, W-e-i, because it looks a little less stupid.
I take in a deep breath. "It's not No." I try one last time. "But when we entered the hallway a trio of ghosts appeared! It was only because Grim and I worked together, that his fire finally scared them away just before you got here."
"I recall we had ghost settling in here, and then students abandoned this dorm because of the ghosts… The ghosts scared away all of the students. However… hm… The two of you working together to get rid of the ghosts." Does he cut his chin on those claws? Has he?
"We didn't really join forces! No mostly watched." Grim scoffs. "I only did it because I wanted some canned tuna."
Cat theory is totally confirmed.
"Ah! Hey! Where is my canned tuna?!"
"How would I have canned tuna?" I reply, and I don't remember promising him any. Did he dream that up? Probably.
"Would you two be so kind as to please show me how you scared away the ghosts?" This is the most polite thing he's said to me. I am so suspicious right now, but I am also very hungry.
"We already got rid of them! And, where is MY CANNED TUNA?!" Grim whines ferociously. Did I hear his stomach growl?
"I will play the ghost. And if you win, I will give you canned tuna, as I am so kind."
Forget about that Dire Crowley not being so bad. Forget it all.
"Now, the transformation potion! Glug, glug!"
Why, as a ghost, does he keep the hat and mask? Okay, maybe the hat makes sense because the other ghosts had hats—but what about the bmask/b?! Fine, dreams have next to no logic but I would like some right about now!
"Eh? I don't want to work with No again!"
"He said he'd give you canned tuna for it. Isn't that what you wanted?" I want dinner too.
"Knnnh! Fine, but only for tuna!"
Ghost Crowley, or I'm going to call him, the Masked Creeper, disappears. Almost immediately after he appears to Grim's right, "Right!" I call out. He quickly turns and blasts fire his way. But, instead of getting hit, the ghostmaster disappears and comes from another direction. "Left!" I call, again, with my strategy of back-against-the-wall I have the best vantage point and I don't have the risk of Creepy Caper Crowley sneaking up from behind.
"My, what a feat!" The taunting educator disappears and reappears several times. But each time, Grim strikes true because he's actually listening. It's really nice to have some listen.
"Nyahah! Of course the great Grim can do this!" He brags, but I notice he keeps closing his eyes. My own almost roll.
"Well then, I will have to speed up!" The speedy specter takes off, zooming around the room. It bewilders us both for a moment.
"Spin and spit flames!" Grim obeys, and once more he disappears on us.
"Well then, let us see how many you can take at once!" Crowley declares, as a gaggle of ghosts appear and head toward fire-spit extraordinaire.
"Spin again!" And he hits the gaggle of ghosts at once! They disappear, and ghost Crowley hovers a moment. "Hm…"
"I better get all the tuna for this!"
Huffing and puffing, Grim glares at the return-form-Steam-Punk-Giraffe-reject. "Well?"
"Monsters never obey humans like that… Hmmmm, my professor-senses did sense something about you since the opening ceremony fiasco." Oh that is complete and utter bullshit, but I'm not saying anything because he has food for me, and I know better than to mouth off when there's food involved. "No could become a master of monsters, perhaps, however…" He goes off, mumbling.
I want food, and I want a shower, and I want to go to bed and wake up from this nightmare.
"Could Grim stay here, then?" Fine. Fine! I am an absolute sucker! After all that sad sappy stuff about wanting to come here and never seeing the black carriage come for him? And then he was so sad when he was kicked out earlier? I am an absolute, terrible sap. I know it. And I don't want to have him kicked out into the cold and the rain. Especially because he looks like a cat. And those cute pink toe beans! I really want to touch his paws.
"What are you saying? A monster, living here?!" I hope he cuts his chin on those claws.
"No…" Grim seems… surprised?
"Please?" I am giving my best puppy-dog eyes. I am a sad, lonely kid to this guy. I don't think it's going to work when he won't listen to half of what I'm saying, but it's worth a try. And besides, I really don't want to be alone in a dorm full of ghosts.
Steampunk Goth reject sighs, "It can't be helped; alright."
"Really?!" Even Grim's happy, but it sort of looks like his ribbon might be in tatters…
"However! I cannot let a monster, especially one not chosen by the Mirror of Darkness, to enroll at this prestigeous academy. And you, No, cannot just freeload until you return home." Wow. And I'm supposed to be a minor. Forget every nice thing I will ever say about Dire Crowley.
"What a killjoy."
"Let me finish. The Mirror of Darkness transported you here, No. Therefore; this academy is somewhat responsible for your well-being. So I will allow you to live in these lodgings. However, you will still need to pay your own living expenses. But how, when you are so penniless? Ah, hm…"
I know I visibly shrink back at that. A lot of things are flashing through my mind. Prostitution. Hard labor. Weird magic experiments that are highly illegal here in… what was this place called again? Twisted Wonderland? Yeah, okay, I am definitely not in a good position.
"You do not need to be so guarded! I will only ask you to do odd jobs and maintenance around the academy. You look like you are talented in cleaning."
Is that sexist? "Um."
"How about you two work for the college as handymen? If you do, I will allow you to be on campus. And I will grant you special access to the library, so you may research a way to return home. How kind I am! However, only after you finish your tasks, of course!" I think he just wants free labor. Administrators are like that, cutting costs where-ever they can.
"Ehh? What a shitty deal! I want to be a student with a cool uniform!"
"If you do not like my offer, we can always throw you out again." I immensely dislike steampunk reject.
"AH! Fine! I'll do your dirty work." Grim and I share matching glares at Evil Headmaster Crowley.
"Clearly, we don't have a choice."
"Wonderful. Now, for you both… tomorrow you start your work as Night Raven College's handymen!"
Great.
"Ah! Yes. Dinner. Come, come, I did not forget. I am so kind, after all." Dire Crowley leads the way down the hall. I just trudge along, I'm feeling drained, and maybe with this wave of tiredness I'll wake up soon from the strangest dream I've ever had.
At the end of the hall is what looks like a kitchen and dining room. There's an overturned table and chairs. Dust is everywhere.
"Well, this won't do for dinner!" With a wave of his hand the entire room cleans itself. I see the dust basically roll up into a ball and vanish. Then, the tables and chairs sit themselves up. Two places fill with a meal before each, including cutlery. I am definitely rendered speechless at this display of magic. How he just conjures up so much so easily! It boggles my mind. "Now, sit, and eat. Both of you."
"...Thank you…" I didn't forget my manners at least as I sit down and… it looks like some sort of chicken in a red sauce with vegetable. It looks edible, and I am blessed to not have any food allergies. There's even a glass of water too. So, without much hesitation, I dig in.
"Enjoy your meal and rest, No! Do not be late, No! I am very kind, remember." He stops as a drop of water hits his head. "Oh! I will have that fixed soon, too… I am a generous educator, after all." With an assured nod to himself, the crow man whisks off.
I look over at Grim who is chowing down like this is his first meal in awhile. We eat in silence. And honestly, the food disappears in minutes. I get up and get the dishes, putting them in the sink and set them to soak. "Okay, Grim, let's find a room."
Tiredly, I start checking the rooms down the hall. Unfortunately, some of them have the furniture completely wrecked. None of it is suitable to sleep.
Which brings us up the stairs. I find the best of luck in the room labelled iDorm leader/i. There are no holes in the ceiling here. The windows are intact, and even with the dust and the overturned furniture, there's a fireplace with dry wood. So, I set to work getting the dust out of the bed and cleaning up a bit. Grim hovers around, inspecting if the place is suitable.
"Can you light the fireplace?"
"Mmmmm…"
"I'd really like to see your awesome fire."
"Well! The Great Grim does have the best fire!" And with a puff, the fireplace is lit. I let out a sigh of relief.
The second I have the bed dust-free and made well enough, Grim jumps on one side and curls up. "Night!"
This is the best we can do. He's cold too. The fire takes away the damp and the cold of this place.
I really want a shower, and there's an attached bathroom to this room. "I'm going to take a bath—" I call out to Grim, but he's already snoring.
Well, huh, who knew magical fire devil cats snore?
The mirrors aren't broken, at least. And the light switch works. There's a tub, with colored knobs and I'm really hoping it's functional. I turn on the red-painted handle. The metal isn't steel, I don't thing. It's golden, and wait with baited breath that I might get a nice, hot shower in the large, porcelain-looking tub. It's deep, too, and very large, like it's made for a seven-foot giant of a person. It's dusty, sure, everywhere here is pretty dusty. But, it has both a spigot for a bath and a shower-head up top. The curtain on the curtain rod is old and basically tears when I pushed it aside. I sigh, and just tear the whole thing down.
Leaving it on the floor as a bath mat, because there isn't one. The tile is of an off-pattern, and a few are broken and chipped in the corners. There's a lot of work to be done and I don't know enough to fix those parts.
Water streams steadily from the faucet. And, by the grace of all that is holy, it starts to grow hot and steam. I groan in relief that I will not be without hot water in the near future. There are small, sweet mercies and miracles.
I check the sink's faucet, and it runs too. Good. Running, clean water. A necessity for life.
Finally, I get to throw off the robe, and all of those other junk. It's a black, button-up shirt, a robe, black pants, and these are super comfortable loafers. Then, I'm in the pajamas I remember wearing before arriving in this strange nightmare. I go to look at myself in the bathroom mirror.
"Oh!" Startled, my appearance IS different! My eyes aren't the right color, first off. They're the same bright blue that Grim has—which, I guess makes sense why they kept saying he was my familiar if that's how that works here. And… my hair is really long, again. I haven't had it this long since I was sixteen.
"...Wait a second." I lean close to the mirror and look really hard at my face. I really do look a lot younger.
I step back, examining myself more in the mirror. I'm a little shorter, and I definitely… uh. Yeah. "I'm sixteen again? Really?" My hands pat my cheeks. This… this really sucks.
I sigh, hopefully I'll wake up soon and not have to experience the woes of teenager-dom again. This is a nightmare.
I can bemoan that sort of fate when I wake up, but it looks like this overly-long nightmare wants me to go through the motions of getting ready for bed. Conveniently, almost too conveniently, there's everything I need lying around. Even brand new in the package! Well, Headmaster Crowley did say the ghosts scared off all of the students. I guess that means they left a lot of things behind. Like they say, another man's trash means I get to scrub and clean myself well tonight.
After a nice, hot shower, I'm curled up in bed. The room is finally warm and cozy. I don't even mind Grim mumbling about being the best in his sleep. We both deserve rest.
My last thoughts are about how this fucking nightmare is going to be over, and I can get back to the waking world soon.
Well, maybe it hasn't been that bad.
