It's… wow. I think maybe movies have colored my view of what this potion-place should look like but ti's pretty much exactly what I expect. There's a bunch of items I don't know lining the walls. There's jars of things and liquids with labels everywhere. SO many large cauldrons litter the area, like work stations for students. I'm taken aback by it all, and it looks like we're not late!

Victory!

The three of us are out of breath, and a man with a black-and-white

"Ah, are you the latest face for my classroom today… faces. Ah—what an unusual fur colors, but not bad. Don't forget to keep it properly groomed." I am not sure if he's talking to myself, Grim, or both.

This guy looks like a corporate overlord. He looks like a fashion model. I could see him being the enemy boss in a JRPG. His hair is half-black and half-white, stylish as can be. I'm—wow. Neat from head to toe with a thick, striped fur coat and his vest even shares the same motif. Not a thing is out of place. He could be the way more attractive Two-Face. I don't have a good name for him yet, because I am very much taken aback by his style. Wow.

The two direct me to where there are labelled lab coats and other supplies—gloves, and goggles. I take the one that says No Wei above it—and put it on carefully, exchanging my blazer with the hook. It's of course a size too big, and I carefully shove my hair back as I put on everything. Unlike the red and labelled coats that my duo of dumb sport—mine are blank and white. Huh. That's… fun.

I don't see anything for Grim. "We'll have to ask later."

"Don't care." He responds with a huff.

It's then we hear the professor's sharp voice cut through the air.

"My name is Divus Crewel, you may call me Master Crewel. Come and take a seat—we are starting class, but today we will go over basic information about this course. There are hundreds of kinds of medicinal herbs and poisonous herbs you will need to learn to distinguish in your tiny little brains." And that is when he pulls out what is definitely some sort of rod that is not meant for children. He slaps it on his hand, where I can tell his coat is lined with red that matches his gloves—crimson, even. I am now very intimidated.

And I am in my seat, with Grim next to me—he's quiet for once. Even Ace and Deuce have shut up. Scary.

Is that a dog collar on the end…? Uh.

"I better not see failing marks on my upcoming exams, I will punish any student that fails." I am going to do my best to not fail; and I am good at memorization…

"Hu… so… what kind of mushroom is this?" Deuce comments at something that's caught his attention.

"Ugh, I'm garbage at memorization…" Ace complains.

"All you need to know is if it's edible or not." Grim gripes.

"Now, first, we are going to go over proper lab equipment. I see most of you are properly in your goggles, lab coats, and gloves—this is good. You!" Divus, or professor fashion model, shouts, pointing the end of that rod at him. "Put your goggles on properly when you are in my lab."

"Sure, sure…" He mumbles, yanking them down.

"That is iyes sir/i to you."

"Yes… sir…"

"And you!" He points that at me, and I jump! "Y-yes?"

"Come stand up here."

Oh no. Why? But I go up, and stand before the class, looking at our professor uncertainly. "Yes, sir?"

"Turn around. Good pup…" Ugh, why—no.

"Now! Who can tell me what's wrong?" Crewel asks the class.

There is dead silence.

"No one?!" He seems angry.

I feel a hand lift up a lock of my hair, but it's gentle, thankfully. "THIS! Long hair needs to be tied back at all times." I don't know where he has a ponytail from, but I feel him gather my hair and tie it so expertly! I'm pretty impressed. "There are acceptable hairstyles—anything pulled back, such as a classic ponytail, as we see here… Or a bun, such as this one." He fashioned my hair so exquisitely too! I'm impressed. "And if you have a nice coat like this, don't cut it just to get out of tying it up every morning."

"What was your name, pup?"

"No Wei." I'm getting used to this fake name business.

"Now, No Wei…" He's frowning, and I can see him in my peripheral as he tugs on my collar with a scoff. "Why is your uniform out of date? I redesigned these years ago-" Oh, someone's mad. "I will have a word over this—what an insult." A shake of his head. "You may take a seat."

I am so glad I get to sit down because that was intense.

It's a basic class, we're given books, and an assignment of what to read and try to memorize before tomorrow—and thankfully, we're dismissed.

I'm walking out with my new-found gaggle of friends, buttoning up my blazer.

"Ehhh—that was intense." Ace sighs. "And fifteen herbs by tomorrow? Is he crazy?"

Deuce frowns. "We'll have to study hard."

"What's our next class?" I ask.

"Magic—history." Deuce recalls. "It's this way, No."

Grim gripes, "That was SO boring! This one better be fun!"

Ah, poor Grim.

We arrive at the next class to behold a stern man in a maroon… cape? His grey suit underneath is well-pressed. He looks severe, and older—with a cravat pinned with a gorgeous emerald brooch. In his arms sits a cute, fluffy baby kitty of black with white tips and chest. Oh, he looks a little pissy—but what a ikitty/i. I love fluffy things, and I am very tempted to ask to pet the cat but instead I take a seat with my gaggle of goons.

"I am your Magical History teacher, Mozus Trein—and this is my familiar, Lucius. I will teach you about the history of magic that you are currently using-" The cat meows grouchily in agreement. What a cute mrow. "We will learn how it has sculpted our society, and shapes the world you live in today—and take for granted."

I have a counterpoint to that but I definitely know better than to make smart remarks here.

Deuce already has the book open. "Oh—Dwarfs' Mine—magic energy…"

Ace yawns, as Grim grumbles, "I want an explosive—shiny, exciting magic class!"

"My grading is based on your behavior, and work—do not sleep in this class." Got it.

"Now, let us open our books to page… fifteen. This portion concerns the magestones discovered in places like the Dwarfs' Mine-" Lucius again interrupts with a meow.

"—as knowledge and awareness of magical energy began to spread across the globe, this year is considered to be Year One of the Current Magic Era."

Did the cat just yawn?

We hear about the magestones, and how they started to be used for things to make life more convenient.

"Now, can anyone tell me the significance these stones bring to our society?" No one raises a hand.

I do not understand why teachers have to single me out today. "—You. Your name?"

"No Wei."

"Ah, a perfect example of history in the making, with your companion, Grim, to be the first of two to be considered a student—one a monster, and one without magic. History can start at any point, and by any event. Now, Mister No Wei-" Did he call me mister? AM I crazy? "—what is the answer to my question?"

I'm not FROM this world—I definitely hesitate as—we went over—wait wait. The magestones are like the industrial revolution, right? Like, the technology people created with them created the modern world? Uh-! "The discovery of magestones created a wider capability of bringing magic to everyone—those with, and without magic. To those with magic, it made it so they could have new, magical devices they didn't have to actively create and use themselves, freeing them for other discoveries, while the conveniences of magestones give the gift of magic to those that cannot wield it themselves." I am so good at making shit up. It is a talent.

I think… he approves?

The cat meows again. Awww.

"Go on."

Oh shit oh shit uh- "It's what built the modern era, correct? Without magestones, we—we wouldn't have devices like the chandeliers in the cafeteria, lit for eternity without an outside aid of someone's magic."

He nods with what I think is approval. "Correct, that is a good assessment, Mister No Wei. Now-"

I sag back in relief as he moves on.

Did he…

No, no.

Thank everything class ends, I need to definitely study as I pile this new book in my bag and head off.

The professor stops me. "No Wei."

"Yeah-?"

"If you continue to participate as you did today, you will do well in my class. As I am aware your other half is incapable of writing, I will solely use your reports for your grades. Do make sure Mister Grim pays attention in classes, and does not fall asleep." Trein is giving me… a break?

"Yes, sir…"

"Mrow-" I think he's agreeing.

"Thank you for class Professor—Mr. Lucius-" And off I go!

You're supposed to be polite to familiars too, right?

Unfortunately, as I catch up, our next class is P.E. and I have zero clothing for it.

"Each Dorm has its own changing room and showers No." Deuce starts to explain. "You should talk to the coach to ask where your changing room and showers will be!"

Ace gives a whistle. "Maybe they'll hand you a hose and send you somewhere." A laugh.

I elbow him in the ribs.

"Ow!? Really?"

"I've held back for a long time, Ace." I say gravely.

Grim snickers. "You definitely deserve it~"

"Well, at least WE have uniforms…" Ace sticks his tongue out at me. "You're going to have to talk to Coach about that!"

Oh… boy.

We arrive on the spots field, I awkwardly go to the very broad, muscular older male that is clearly the teacher. "Excuse me-?" Oh, boy, he's huge and he doesn't look nice.

"Yes—why haven't you changed?"

"I—mmm, I don't have a uniform."

The large man pauses. "Ah! You must be No Wei, with your… monster-student-half, Grim." A nod. Coach Vargas has his hand on my shoulder as I keep a very steady gaze on him.

"Yeah…?"

"You will need to go to the headmaster's office to submit that paperwork to your parents. It will take—a day, but you should have your uniforms by the end of this week!"

"There… is one problem… I'm an orphan." I say with a very straight face. It is true, but, I don't know if he knows my whole inter-dimensional situation.

The man balks, letting me go. Clearing his throat. "Who—is responsible for you?"

"Dire Crowley."

"Okay! Go to the Headmaster's office and have him fill out the paperwork, okay?"

I am intimately familiar with his office at this point. "What about Grim?"

"He is a monster; he doesn't need any uniforms!" A nod, and he waves me off.

"...Okay…" I turn, "HEY! GRIM! I'LL BE BACK—PAPERWORK!"

"WHATEVER!" Grim calls back, he's waiting for the other students, like our duo of dumb, to join him on the field.

Well, off I went. This isn't great. But at least there's a solution to the uniform problem I have, it will just take a few days. Considering Crowley sent me to the mines my first day in Twisted Wonderland to fight a giant goop monster of evil for a magic stone… well. I doubt he'll have any issues filling out some forms for me.

It's really weird that most of the staff here are ghosts. How do you employ a ghosts? Is this a way to avoid paying them and save money? He did employ me, an inter-dimensional minor, to clean the school. I'm thinking he might be a major penny-pincher. Am I overly suspicious? Probably.

The class will probably be over by the time I get back, the distance from the field to his office is a nightmare, plus the stairs and the twists and turns of the main school building! Wow, it's pretty amazing, sure—and maybe, as a student, I'll be able to figure out every bit of this place. Who knew I could go from rejected to accepted in a crazy day?

There's a ghost at what is clearly a secretary's desk, who looks me over with a very, iyou again/i expression.

"Is the Headmaster in? I need him to fill out forms for uniforms." I explain.

"They are for your parent or guardian to fill out if you need replacement uniforms, No Wei."

"I'm an orphan." I reply, knowing that maybe I shouldn't play this up with such a sad expression… but I do. I have zero shame. "The Headmaster is the closest thing I have to a guardian…"

The ghost pauses, frowning, and adjusting their top hat. I am handed a pile of forms, and take them immediately. "Go right on in, dear."

That's what I thought.

I let myself in. There's the problematic creature of mysterious masked woe himself, and really the source of much of my drama.

Is he reading some gaudy novel? He's supposed to find ME a way HOME. "A-hem!"

Startled, he slams the book down and clears his throat. "No? Are you in tro-"

I hold out the forms and I am the one that interrupts! "I have forms for you to sign."

"Forms? Why-"

"I don't have a guardian here. I'm an orphan anyway."

That gives the masked man pause. "Ah. I see. Yes. Please give them here, No."

I set the small stack on his desk and take a seat, assuming this will be a minute.

"It is a good thing you are here, No—I needed some information for a scholarship for you."

"A scholarship?"

"Yes, for a stipend. Now that I know you… ...hm. Well. I will put in the paperwork immediately." He tactfully isn't pointing out the dead parents thing. I could hit him with a double whammy but I'll save that one.

"What sort of stipend?"

"It will pay for your living expenses, and give you some pocket money. I am so kind as to think of it." He pulls out a paper from the packet, and I get up to take it. "These are for your uniforms… please pick the appropriate sizes. I have generously decided on your dorm colors, too."

My eyes narrow, because this is in centimetres. And while I don't recognize the characters, I can read them. It's really weird—like my mind auto-translates. It keeps throwing me through a loop. I snag a pen from his desk and sit down scribbling away. I wouldn't mind more stylish clothes, but these are all in boy sizes, and it's taking me a bit to math out—it's 2.5 centimetres an inch. So… that's a lot of math. I know the inches, so I get the centimetres and I'm picking the best size that's baggy, since, uh… This is an all boy's school. Which brings me to another little problem. "...SO… I know every dorm has its showers, but… I don't…"

That gives Crowley crower pause, and he pulls out some paper and scribbles a note, handing it over. "Here is permission to use the faculty facilities—for you and Grim, No. Now, what is your birthday?"

"Thanks." I take the paper and set the filled out forms on his desk. He then hands me the forms I need for Coach. "July fourth."

"Wonderful! That should be all for now, No. Now—go back to class! Have fun! Keep Grim out of trouble."

I am being shoo'd away and that's fine! "Please let me know if you find a way to send me home soon, headmaster."

"Yes, I am very kind to do this!"

I take my exit with my prized forms. That is a LOT of paperwork. But—this is good! Uniforms that fit better, some form of income, and no further fuss from detached, weird guardian. It's a great day.

I'm still going to raid every nook and cranny of the dorm for cash. I've found about 50 marks so far.

"Have a nice day, No." The ghost-etary says.

"Thanks!" I smile, and I head back to the field.

Class is about over when I arrive, and that's fine with me!

I hand the permission slip to Coach—Vargas. "Here… Headmaster Crowley said to give this to you."

He takes it, reading. "Ah, yes—I will make sure there is space then, No Wei. Thank you for sorting that out! I was wondering where I'd put you two."

I smile. "Thank you, Coach! I look forward to class."

He dismisses us, and I join back up with the squad.

"Now, let's see, our next class…" Deuce is ever-so studious.

"This magic school feels more like a lame, regular school." He grumbles. "It's more ordinary than I expected… but I guess that means I don't have to worry about no-magic collar. You with me, Grim? ...Hm?"

My heart drops into my stomach when Grim doesn't reply. "...Grim?" I look around us, and realize the unfortunate truth. "That fucker ran off, didn't he…?"

Deuce gasps in surprise. "Oh! Look out the window! There's a fur ball running across the Courtyard!"

Yeah, there's him. Running across the Courtyard… Forget being a cat demon, Grim is the DEVIL! Ugh! He seriously left?! "He seriously ran off our first day?"

"Skipping on the first day—he doesn't learn, does he?" Deuce shrugs his shoulders.

I shake my head, sighing. "What am I going to do…?" I look at the two dumbbells. Ah.

It's going to be like that, isn't it?

Bastards.